The Alarming Rise of Hikikomori: A Growing Trend of Social Withdrawal
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- čas přidán 31. 05. 2024
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Today, I am discussing the disturbing rise of Hikikomori in modern society.
Videos Included:
• Japan's taboo: Hikikom...
• Hikikomori (2004) Fran...
• Living Lonely and Love...
• Japan's Most Extreme S...
• Japan: The Age Of Soci...
• I was a Hikikomori for...
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This has been happening in America for YEARS. We just didn't call it _"Hikikomori"..._
It's called being anti-social I believe is the correct term
@@lunasky5029 Mental illness plays a huge role but I believe there's also more to it. If there wasn't more to it, all anti-social people would be _Hikikomori._
Know what I mean?
@@lunasky5029 nah its shut in! anti social just means you don't like to socialize LOL, but you still go out, like to the store and work and what not
@@studdedleatherlace oh you mean like the TERMINALLY ONLINE?! virtue signaling for woke points? Or are we not counting those them's?
@@studdedleatherlace It is the society in general that is more ill than the individuals involved.
As a Japanese man, I approve this video. Hikikomori is a Japanese word, meaning 'stay in home for a long time and barricade yourself from outside'. There are tons of 'hikikomori(引きこもり)'people in Japan and it's been a serious social problem. Most of them are getting bullied, traumatized and feeling stress in school, workplace or society and that has them stay in their own room. They will be so called NEET(no educations, employments or trainings) and never get salary, sleeping and playing games all days and make troubles with their family.
One of my favorite animes "Welcome to the NHK" centers around a character that goes through this exact delima. Very good show. One of my favorites...
it's sad (shows a lack of empathy) to say "Make troubles with their family" ... Maybe that's not what you wanted to convey, but it's this idea of being a burden that pushes these people to isolate.
That means all of that?
@@goldofox5111it's sad but it's also the reality of a lot of these situations. Having an adult child who has basically become a leech would be a strain on the family and could ruin that family's reputation in some cultures
@@GraceTaylor06 Trust me, you would prefer your son to be a happy "leech" who goes outside and lives his life, rather than to watch him each day rot away until he dies or k*lls himself ...
You would loathe those measly pennies you tried to save, or that stupid social reputation you tried to keep in front of a bunch of random people at the price of your own child's life and joy.
We give too much importance to petty things, like school, work, reputation, and expectations ... until we get to the depth of hell to understand that a smile from someone we love is all we need. The mental health of your kid is worth everything in this world.
It's hard when he stops talking to you, stops looking you in the eye, starts avoiding you or even getting angry at you, fades away little by little and you can't do anything to bring him back. He becomes more bitter each day and gets away from being the happy kid he was once before. You are aware that you're responsible in some way for what he became, so you pray and hope that things will change because that's how helpless you are.
The more you try to save your reputation the more it falls, the more you hide your family's flaws the more the hikikomori hides himself, the more expectations you want him to meet the more he steps back, the more he feels like a burden, the more he hates himself, the more he thinks he deserves to suffer, so he shuts off to torture and robe himself from any joy the world has to offer.
Some people might think that his life is easy and that his family has it rough, but actually, the one who suffers the most is him. He is suffering from being brought to this world to suffer because someone wanted to "f*ck around", he is suffering from a hostile environment and defective parenting which let him pray to the world around him, he is suffering from deficient genes again from the same parent, he is suffering as a result from not being able to be what he wants to be, he is suffering from not meeting the expectations of his parents and those around him, he is suffering from seeing the daily disappointment in the eyes of those same people who imposed on him those same expectations.
Ironically, the best way to reduce "the strain and to save the reputation of the family" to quote your words, is to forget about the reputation and the cheap money strain. The Hikikomori needs to be freed before thinking about anything else and the freer he becomes the less strain the family will have and the less damage the reputation will take.
The problem is, people are stupid! instead of acting accordingly in the first years when the change is easier to make, they do the exact opposite, and as time goes by, the reputation you foolishly tried to save is unsalvageable, and the financial load is way greater now because of the health issues that your son or daughter is having from being a hikikomori.
Life is too short, choose wisely!
It’s happening to young men in America too, it’s sad
After almost a decade of propaganda hating on white dudes, it was bound to happen.
Most people are just pretending to care about the problem, because very that I can see is being done about it.
@@Madchris8828 i think all these illegals coming in is a bandaid to make up for the lack of young male workers
And CZcams deleted my previous comment! 🤣🤣🤣
Women can order chads off of tinder now, why try
"what would happen if the power went out?" they would read books by candlelight.
Powerbank + solar charger
@@SYNC420 w
Im avoiding people cause i always feel like no matter how much i have tried to connect in the end i am just in the way...
well 90% of people are assholes also, that doesnt help.
so you're always perfect?
I think the hardest thing one can do in life is find people that are worth your time. But the reward when you do find the right people is a treasure none of us should give up on finding!
For perspective, the last friend I made ghosted me after about 6 months so I currently have no friends and not even any family in my state, but, ya know, I'm not throwing in the towel on pursuing relationships. Even when I know that staying beside myself is the safer bet, I'm still gonna take the risk of putting myself out there.
don't give up. just today i was sitting in a parking lot and someone came up talked to me and became friends. you never know. i get abandonded by 90% of people i meet too.
Well said. Same.
im not gonna say hikikomori is healthy, but being out on clubs all the time drinking alcohol and having sex with random strangers (like a lot of "normal" people are doing) is also not healthy behaviour. our society is so sick these days that i can see how a lot of people (including myself) choose to stay more at home to avoid all the sickness.
Yeah like my mom did that and ended up with an abuser. Then she divorced him, did the same thing, then met my Dad and dated him for 8 months then got pregnant with me. And she still complains about her life because they are in a loveless relationship but stayed cause they had kids.
And now she wants me to do the same thing because she doesn't want me to be alone. But not only do I not really like partying with strangers but I also don't want to end up with an abuser or in a loveless marriage. I grew up with parents who didn't love each other and I wouldn't want that for my kids, if I ever have any. I would rather be alone.
Sorry I respect myself and my time. Guess that makes me the weird one for not partying 24/7 lol. What’s up with weirdos coming after normal people
You have some point in saying this, however I think there's still room for a middle ground to be reached. I do spend a lot of time in the house, but I do loathe it. I can't really help it since most of my classwork is online only at this point in my degree, and I'm not working outside the home right now, but I do find myself looking for excuses to just go out. I happen to skateboard which is a really good way to just urbanly explore and get around your town if going on walks is too boring. I don't have a lot of friends but for the few that I have, I appreciate the time we're able to make for each other which also gets me out of the house too.
Agree 100%
But still there are plenty of other activities you can do being outside. Noone is forcing noone to go to the clubs or drink alcohol.
I’m a 21 year old girl and in college. I don’t ever leave my single dorm room unless I have to attend class or go to the store. Now my first year is almost over but I haven’t been able to many any fiends I resonate with. I’m not even enjoying school and am not interested in any of my classes. Life sucks and I want to drop out but I’m scared my parents will just see me as a failure. I can understand the loneliness and it’s brutal. I have to open videos on my phone to not completely feel alone
Look for any way to get money, probably scholarships are best bet, and then use it on gym. I had really bad anxiety from ptsd after being operated on in a village with no painkillers as a child, and trying group exercising was THE cure, try with only men, then with only women, then maybe mixed, so you can see how it's the same no matter who you're with. When someone next to you stops and wants to give up, and others lift theit spirits back up, no matter who, that's community
I was in this exact situation once upon a time. It's scary, but try talking to your parents about how you're feeling. They were your age once, I'm sure they'll understand it all too well. It's already hard enough figuring out who you are and what you want to do in life, there's no need to add the pressure of being seen as a failure. Success means different things to different people, and there's no timeline for it. You _will_ find your place someday whether it be now or later, just make sure to take care of yourself along the way.
I can somewhat relate. As a kid, I was somewhat socially isolated and displayed symptoms of depression from age 8. By latter adolescence and early adulthood, I had gotten into a habit of changing jobs, changing schools, and seeing other people as too temporary for me to try to get close to. I became a perpetual outsider. An interloper in any environment. Granted, I have the luxury of a minimal social appetite, but I've found if you live like a depressive, depression will follow. My parents didn't understand how to encourage. They thought it was more like shame or castigate. For them, they ventured forth, did adventurous things (travelled the world), pursued their religious goals (did things they thought were meaningful), and valued their marriage. So when they give me grief, I understand it as more their confusion to understand me but also coming from their appreciation of life. They want me to have the things that meant the world to them.
Sorry if that was rambling. I've found the behavioural interventions of CBT to be helpful. After controlled exposure to social situations, my fear has gone from maybe 9/10 to 6/10. And I wanted to stress that your parents aren't necessarily coming from a bad place.
I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering such loneliness. Everyone's situation is different so I doubt I can't diagnose what your core problem is, but I think that fear is always at the core of these psychological issues. Fear of being left out, fear of embarrassment, fear of failure. I know these fears are behind my depression starting so many years ago now.
Fear is a hard thing to overcome. What is horrible about it is that the only effective/proven treatment is to expose yourself to the the exact thing that terrifies you the most. So people who, say, have an acute fear of spiders will have to repeatedly hold a spider, or keep one in a box in their bedroom.
Well it's easy to avoid spiders if you really need to, and it won't screw up your life. It is not so easy to avoid people, especially when we all depend on each other so much.
As an introvert I have always avoided attention. I don't photograph myself, I don't ever want to be on TV or radio, and I hate public speaking. I'm okay with avoiding those things. It doesn't bother me much. Like spiders, I can avoid them most of the time.
I don't have a whole lot of faith in psychotherapy but it seems this is the only treatment on offer to folk who are troubled by fear/anxiety, so you could try that if you can afford it. Some antidepressants my also help. Physical symptoms like racing heart, sweating, shaking can be helped with beta-blockers too, if that is an issue.
Some people swear by LSD or magic mushrooms. I tried them once but found the effect very short lived. I'd try them again but they are hard to get a hold of.
That's about all I got I'm afraid. Sorry I can't offer a cure. I hope things will improve for you. Don't give up, your only 21. I had similar problems at 21 and I'm still here at 53.
Üniversiteyi bitirdim ama hala aynı durumdayım. Sosyalleşmek yok, arkadaş edinmek yok. Gerçekten dışarı çıkmak ve bir şeyler yapmak için arkadaşım yok. Dışarı çıkıp ne yapabilirim diye düşünüyorum çünkü ne olduğunu unuttum. Bu durumdan şikayet ediyorum ama ailem beni dışarı çıkarmak istese hemen reddediyorum.
I used to consider this sad & disturbing. Now, having seen social trends of the last 15 years in the US come to a head after decades of slow progress, I'm no longer upset about it. At some point, men & women are going to have to come to terms with being lied to & perpetuating harmful ideologies.
I think it's actually good that some people shield themselves from the poisonous effects of our decaying society and civilization. Roman empire soon will fall!
My brother was one. Hadn't left the house since he was 17, he died at 28. He refused to do anything except sit on his computer, he used to isolate himself. I'm convinced he was bipolar disorder, he shot himself in the head January 30, 2024. I miss him.
Im sorry x
Hey at least now the world has one less incel
What was his name i will remember him
I'm So sorry. While I'm not against gun ownership, I believe you should not have one in the house if you or a family member is depressed. I would likely have died by suicide years ago if I had access to a gun. No judgement. It's just my own thoughts on the matter. I had a cousin who did the same thing back in 1989 at age 21. It was the saddest funeral I was ever at.
Depression is a real illness. You cannot just cheer up if you try hard enough. It gets worse over time too. I cannot go without medication anymore at all or I will feel so bad I want to die to escape the 'pain'. Two or three days without the pills and I can feel the dreaded darkness coming back. It's crappy but I suppose it's better than terminal cancer.
So sorry for your loss 😢🕊️
Who can blame them, really. People are f**king crazy
The great majority of people are assholes. But my coping mechanism to deal with this is the complete opposite. I’ve built an absolute thick psychological wall around me of “not giving a f*ck” about. I’ve built myself, without any help of a therapist or whatever. It helps me through the day in dealing with situations.
Not shaming people for being different also helps.
You just solved the loneliness crisis!
I think you understand more about this topic than that youtuber... she literally turned a complex topic into "be positive and don't be lazy"...
I find that most younger folks go out of their way to be different in order to call other people out for treating them different. It's what we used to call a self licking ice cream cone.
Having a father to kick you in the ass and tell you to get the hell out of your room helps more.
I agree. People can be assholes for literally no reason other than to be assholes. If you’re even EVER SO SLIGHTLY different from what’s considered “normal” and I mean even if you’re just 1% “different” people will be assholes about it. People suck!
This hurts my soul.
It's only going to get worse, and most people don't care at all
And you'll do nothing about it.
They just have to repent to Jesus Christ and they will live blessing happy life. But unfortunately they probably don't believe in my Lord ✝️♥️
What pains me the most is that my cousin is actually a "hikikomori" I'm half Japanese and last summer I visited Japan for the first time in 7 years, I was sad that I didn't get to see my cousins because one was all the way in Tokyo for university and the other one I already mentioned, looking back I heavily regret not doing attempting to do SOMETHING. To get a better idea on my cousin's situation we were all in the same house and because of jet lag I tend to wake up in the early hours of the morning, my grandparents knew that and told me to not leave the guest room until after 5:30AM so my cousin can come out to get food before going back upstairs since he wanted to avoid interaction. The closest I ever got to interacting with him was peeking out my door to see his silhouette and listening to his footsteps and making him a meal-which my grandma made sure to put a note saying that I made it for him.
I'm veyr sorry your cousin is in that situation, hope he gets better!
@@DyingSunberry Thank you
Christ 😭
Honestly, many of the upcoming generation behave as if they had a developmental disorder. It’s a disorder of socialization, and it is largely the direct result of early and excessive exposure to social media. I’m 74, and I’ve felt the change in myself resulting from social media exposure. It’s an incurable chronic disease, I think.
Maybe they behave that way but I don't think they actually have it...I think they just didn't develop social skills due to always being on their phones.
I was born with a developmental delay due to being premature and being deprived of oxygen at birth. It doesn't just affect social skills but how I respond and absorb information. I struggle with keeping up in group conversations because my brain can't keep up with what they are saying, sometimes I don't get things right away because it takes some time for my brain to understand, and I sometimes struggle with saying what I mean because it doesn't come out right.
But I phones didn't exist when I was a kid. They didn't come out till I was in middle school and I didn't have one till I was 18, although I was on the internet a lot as a teen. But I feel like I was more quiet and anxious as a kid.
@@kpoppy9635 No one is perfect, but kpoppy9635, you sound terrific to me. I met one of the most influential people in my life when I was in 7th grade. He was my biology teacher. His name was Mr. Funk. (In those days teachers only had one of 3 first names: Mr., Mrs., and Miss.). According to his own words, Mr. Funk had an IQ of 80 and could hardly complete with others for whom academics came more easily. Nevertheless, he completed college and became a teacher. I, on the other hand, have an MD degree and 5 specialty board certifications, not to mention a successful career that has lasted 51 years to date, and I could not have done that without the influence of my humble teacher, Mr. Funk. I will never forget him, and I don’t think God will forget him either.
I wonder if it's the rise of irony and a postmodern malaise. A number of years back, I think there was a story about a young Indian man suing his parents for giving him life. There's a lot of motivation to avoiding pain, and negative comparison via social media, but it probably doesn't help if society can't summon up a compelling story about the glory of being alive. It sounds like a naive things to say. But it's moderately likely there were people in prisoner camps who were more upbeat than today's youth. That seems telling.
Yep, i agree. Most of them dont have mental problems. The problem is, we can't behave like human beings anymore. Everything is artificial. We are out of tune with nature and ourselves.
You’re correct, it is a problem of socialization. I don’t think that it’s incurable, but it will be extremely difficult to reverse.
I'm agoraphobic & have PTSD, & I literally just force myself to go out & do things, go places, even though it's incredibly uncomfortable - because I don't want to be like this. I have a husband & daughter, & I don't want my daughter to copy me & be isolated. I was always an introvert, but after being attacked multiple times about 8 years ago, I really secluded myself v& I ONLY felt safe at home. And even at home, I'll lock the door if whatever room I'm in, just to feel safe. Before I moved out of my mom's, right after these things happened, I would sleep in her couch which is near her room because I was too afraid to be in my old bedroom & be that far away from her in case someone broke in. I just didn't lived in fear all the time & isolated myself as a result. But, my husband, despite being really weird, is very outgoing, friendly, loves spending time with family & friends & going out doing things. So, he's always pushing me to go places with him & to go see people, & that helps a lot. I just make myself do it. And I got a job delivering food to try to force myself to be more social as well. I really want to be a better example for my daughter so she's not a shut-in too.
So, I guess my point is, I definitely understand where these people are coming from & why they feel the way they do, but the only way to overcome that is to just take it 'til you make it, basically. Go be around people, even if you don't like it, because eventually you will, & when you don't die alone & miserable, you'll be glad you did.
Wow, Ma'am just wow. What a story, I'll be Praying for you.
I have spinal damage and nerve damage in my face from the service. Occasionally, I feel self-conscious because I may limp, and I can't smile correctly.
It can be difficult to hangout with strangers.
@@dimensionninja4929 I'm doing a WHOLE lot better now than 7 years ago when got married, so, I'm thankful for that. And being a mom has been very healing for me.
I’m introverted and I don’t do well in crowds, but my wife is outgoing and tends to schedule social events. While it can create anxiety for me, I don’t complain because I’d be much worse off staying home all the time. However I sometimes need to let her know what I can take and what I can’t. For example, if there’s a 3 hour concert, I can’t also do dinner in a crowded place beforehand.
Now this is true "stunning and brave-ness."
"Hey, you're depressed, struggling in your own mind. Have you tried not doing that n being happy?"
Ok thanks, got it.
Just get drunk that will pass😂😂
Just touch grass!!! Nevermind that the grass is inaccessible and the only way to cope is to watch grass through the screen.
Having friends and whatever does make it bearable but getting friends and all that is up to luck abd low odds.
@@santostv. lmao alcohol is a depressant.
@@santostv.Jesus Christ is the answer
Lmao
Who knew that pricing young people out of social stuff/hobbies, playing keep away in the job market, and making apps and ideologies to isolate the young people from each other/create conflict when possible would cause problems
Lol
When a society expects perfection without flaw only to realize everyone is flawed but refuses to let go of their expectations of perfection exile is the last civilized act of those deemed imperfect
Yes, you are right about many things. I am one of them. Since my father died, I don't go out the door anymore. I dropped out of university and living with my mother. I'm chronically depressed, even before my father died, and it's incredibly difficult, because I was also bullied for years and distanced myself from my family and friends until I hardly have any contact at all. It's incredibly difficult to get out of it, because in my eyes it's incredibly difficult to change that. There is also hardly anyone who understands. I just hope that I can get out of it one day. Thanks for the video. ❤
No one ever gets this concerned over those who can't be alone. Those who always have to be doing something with someone. Solitary confinement is considered abuse for prisoners. Sure, these hikikiomori need to support themselves, but what of those who just can be alone with their thoughts. Should they be heralded?
Extroverts always go nuts when they see someone able to spent time in solitude. Of course, a lot of societal controls are geared around banishment, shunning, isolating by the community, usually under the leadership of some sociopathic mean girl or religious person. Canceling is all about getting the group to cast out the offender. Being happy alone is a superpower against society these days.
Yes this is also true
Oh I am already there. No social life, no family and no friends. All I do, whenever I'm not at work, happens inside my house. The only time I leave my house (If not for work) is at night time around 2/3 am to go get something to eat whenever nobody is out and about. It's been 12 years. After some time you get used to it though. Just the beginning is a little rough (Depending on why you end up in such a situation).
The fact you post this so matter of factly is the worst part.
You're content in your stagnation.
@@Burns_REDNot that deep
Can't blame you. I do the same, though at 9p. Its nice to shop w/o weirdos blocking the aisle having a conversation.
@@brandonG4442 Talking about yourself?
Agreed.
You know anyone can change their circumstances, right? But you choose not to and then relish in it. There's a word for types like you: losers.
@@Burns_RED lol odds are you are too. don't bother denying it.
Another thing people won't talk about probably here is that societal expectations are out of control and social media is showing completely unrealistic expectations of success. Couple that with extremely harsh judgement if you are anywhere outside the neurtypical spectrum that people recognize, and some will go out of there way to treat you worse as a person. Society is brutal and many people and society as a whole seems to be getting progressively worse and any kind of weakness is rooted out or austracized.
What first came to my mind is a fantastic anime called "Anohana" in which the main protagonist is a hikikomori (based on the script writer's childhood), and there's a super cute ghost of a quarter-Russian girl deceased when they were kids appears to help him. I've always pictured you as a real version of that little girl, Menma, if she had not died and grown up.
I hate anime and that garbage needs to be banned! All it does is encourage behavior like this and the characters are always vain, neurotic, narcissistic pieces of shit! Needs to stop!
dude that last episode actually had me ugly wail sobbing. "Menma, we found you!" 😭 I had no idea MC guy was a hikki! Now i wanna rewatch it haha
lol the mc from konosuba was a NEET too
when i think about hikikomoris i instantly remember "welcome to the NHK".
@@GraveyardShift-tl6ri The last episode makes everyone bawl their eyes out. After Menma died, everyone of that group became depressed and later Jintan became a hikikomori when he entered high school. The script writer Mari Okada was a hikki herself which is also described in the character of Jun Naruse in "The Anthem of the Heart", an anime film created by the same team and takes place in the same city (Okada's hometown).
This just shows what our society has become given so many people are socially withdrawing even though on the inside they want to be out there socializing given humans are social creatures.
Generally Misha is pretty based, but the hikikomori stuff goes a lot deeper than what you see on the surface. Societal changes, gender roles, economics, etc.
Yeah there's a lot of things that factor into it, but ultimately the conclusion anyone can make is that it's not a good thing long term. Just because there are many causes and so called "justifications" for it doesn't really make it okay.
Tbf I'm not from this channel and got this video out of the blue by YT's autoplay. As someone who prefers spending time on her passions rather than socialising, I found myself listening to 11 minutes of my parents blaming me or my brother for being different. I was bamboozled by the lack of empathy and will to understand this girl showed (quite ironic looking back, considering her "women tend to be more empathetic" comment). It was so rushed through and most parts had no link with others, like someone tried completing in a 1000 pieces puzzle in only 50 pieces.
- Lots of what she "suggested" were actual big red flags for care of people with disorders like OCD, ASD or ADHD... Please respect people's routines, you just don't know what's going on in their brains. Everyone is different.
- Not all of us do "nothing but computer all day". A lot of us are extremely self aware, often not in our favour, often due to abuse or bullying. There's no need for a video from which the message could be "If you got no dad and struggle with mental health, try to go outside and if you overcome it tell your story in the comments".
- "What would happen if there was a power outage, like what if you remove their computers from them?" this question had me wondering if this video was not an actual troll.... Answer is most of us would completely break down. Put me back 10 years ago, just cut off internet and I would cry, pull my hair off, scratch my face, or worse. My only friends were people online, my passions were all digital, yet when I went at school and saw other kids my age, I'd seriously get depressed by their way of thinking, lack of self awareness, lack of critical ability, or general maturity.
- Most people don't chose social isolation, we get cornered into it, or realize it's less harmful than going outside to socialise. I'm no expert in mental health, but isolation definitely made me feel better than I was throughout my whole school years.
@@wisedred the point is that a healthy balance is best. Basically no one can live a healthy life being inside in one room all the time, even if you have "online friends" or have crippling anxiety when you can't just be safe behind a computer screen, it only compounds and gets worse for you if you get complacent with it. The sooner you break the spell the easier it will be to acclimatize. As someone who usually does spend a lot of time inside, I grow to hate it a lot and I do feel it making me more depressed and less whole as a person, so I do put myself more out there on occasion, even if it's scary and even if it kicks anxiety up, I still find something to learn and improve upon every time. Sheltering yourself this much helps no one. Even if it's hard for some people, everyone has to learn to do it at some point.
@@wisedred Yah I get the same feeling. I'm an homebody, so I enjoy the company of computers more than humans most of the time. I've traveled, partied, hosted meetups, started businesses, spend time outdoors with my son, worked my entire life, so very far from a hikikomori. But I've had people judge me for spending so much time alone, as if it's the wrong way to live life. Ridiculous. Especially the way society has changed so much in 100 years, men are not men, women are not women, and nobody is guiding new generations how to find values & live through them. Can you blame them for giving up and finding comfort alone? From my assessment, online is so much more satisfying in many ways, a lot less headache, and a lot less risky. Not to everybody, but to me and many others it is. Add on top of that many have mental struggles. Not me, I did have a shitty childhood, but I've been lucky to "make it" and experience many facets of life, but most of the time I'd honestly choose a hikikomori life (except the leeching part). In 24 hours, I only spent 1-2 hours outside, maybe 4 on weekend, and I'm super happy with that balance. I could easily give up outdoors though, it's understandable, if I was too burdened. Misha is non-compromising in her persona of being a female Chad though, so she goes too far in her assessments imo but if she didn't, she'd have no content to vlog about lol so you kind of need to read between the lines.
@@EricMuyser I see, I've always been the worst at reading between the lines so thanks for explaining it
I'm currently a student so I currently have to spend most of my time outside, which puts a major toll on my mental health for so many reasons; but when I'm on holidays I'm around 1-2 hours outside per week, having conversations for about 1 hour max per day (mostly during meals), and that's the best ratio I found for myself, currently very productive and happy about it.
This was me for a very long time. It's more commonly known as being a NEET. Not in Education, Employment or Training. Genuinely, it is largely the result of bullying, social exclusion, poor socialization, other mental health issues. I was able to get out of it for a while when I forced myself to get a job - which lasted for a couple years. I'm back in that rut again, but I've learned to force myself to get out every day. The world is a shitty place for a lot of people born into poverty, or raised with minimal support. No safety nets, no support network, not having the aptitude to make friends - a lot of folks will never be able to relate to that. This has been a thing going back twenty years. It's not new. Try the 'Welcome to the NHK' anime from the mid 2000s.
I work full-time and long hours. My weekends are mine. I don't leave the house. I don't talk to anyone. I don't want to. I can't imagine why I would waste my time socialising when I could have some peace and quiet, doing what I want to to when I want to do it. I completely understand not wanting to leave the house. If I could afford to stay home, I would. I would never, ever live off anyone else, though. That's what's shameful.
I'm in public employment and around people all the time. I do appreciate my sanctuary at home without complaints or demands from anyone. It's lovely to de-charge in peace.
My own home, not with anyone else
This is me too. I'm almost hikikomori except I (usually) get to work from home, so probably 90% of my life is spent in my bedroom lol.
any attempts to talk to people,
make you realize how stupid they are.
and how stupid you are for making the attempt.
I suggest supplementing vitamin d3 10,000 IUs, it's a great mood booster. Accompany that with vitamins k2 and magnesium. In so saying try to get 15 minutes of sun light every single day. Exercise, eat leafy green vegetables, drink water avoid fizzy drinks and alcohol. Don't give up, you gotta keep moving, gotta keep trying.
@@brusso456very arrogant stand point from you. I find people very interesting to interact with, I almost always learn something and I find their life stories very interesting to read into. You sir need to jump off the negative mindset.
Yea there has been a lot of this in the US as well. What's going on is that we are now noticing it and bringing attention to it. I feel like besides Japan, there are cases here in the US where people have died in their houses or apartments it went unnoticed for months until people actually started to ask questions or when police officers arrived to do wellness checks only to find a dead person. Or there's even disturbing cases such as the death of Lacey Fletcher in Louisiana back in 2022 that come to light as well.
I used to make my kids give up their phones and go outside with me. We used to go on picnics, to the creek, we used to just go out and pick flowers, go to the playground, whatever to get them outside into some sunshine and fresh air. They always loved it! It got to the point that i wouldnt have to make them give me the phones, they would wake me up early to go outside. We would invite their friends, so they could get some fresh air and sunshine too. It made them feel better, they had better attitudes and now in their early 20's, they love going outside and doing things. It made them better people and made them better in society. They have friends and go out alot, they have better attitudes still and work every day. They can take care of themselves and dont depend on me for everything. But its sad that so many other kids they went to school with are shut-ins and dont want anything out of life. Its up to the parent's to want better for their kids when they are young, so they make for better productive young adults.
I'm 29 and no longer have much of a social life. All my friends either moved away or died. My BEST friend moved away 10 months ago and I've kinda been Isolated since. I video chat friends occasionally but that's about it. Other than that, i just talk to my parents. I also have aspergers which can make meeting new people a challenge (unless I see something in them I can really relate to). Most my free time, I'm either playing with my dog or playing guitar. I've been trying to get out of my shell lately, but there's really not many events around in my area.
I do meet nice people now and then, but I just don't really connect with them. However, since I got an active dog (border collie/Australianshepherd mix), I feel my mental state improved a lot. He gets me out the house. I'll take him to parks and I'll actually meet people sometimes. I bring him everywhere, just have less anxiety with him around. Also keeps me on my feet when I get depressed. Getting him was the best thing I ever done for my mental health since I quit drinking and hard drugs.
My advice: get a dog.
if you are cash strapped which a lot of people are these days, it becomes natural to isolate yourself more because most things cost a lot of money. going to a restaurant or club? forget about it. hell even just buying an ice cream is now a painful expense for a lot of people. sure you can take a bike ride or go for a walk but that doesnt really count for breaking social isolation does it?
Power goes off: "I guess I'll die."
Accurate
Some people prefer to be alone because it's easier and less stressful.
Your advice in the end is nice but you're missing the point a bit, (from experience) when you live like this it doesn't feel like a "chosen" way of life.
If feels like the end of the road, it feels like external elements have put you in this disgusting situation, you're aware that you are losing friends and family slowly but it feels like there is no way back, that you can't even explain it to them.
So I would say before even thinking about exercising and going outside to see people, shower, feel clean, eat every day, eat at the same time every day, then clean your bed, then your bedroom, then order your desk, then your room, then try going out and breathing fresh air for 15 minutes, then 30 minutes, then go sit on a bench without a phone for 30 minutes, then do more and more.
It's is possible to get out of it, a significant other helps tremendously I must say. :)
I feel like I am sinking into this lifestyle. It sucks.
I mean you are right but going outside only helps so much. Going outside won't change society and make them accept you or treat you in a way that won't cause trauma. Going outside won't change the expectation to get a job and live most of your life doing that, making money for someone else and so you can live to work.
Yes
As a dad with a 25yo son “failing to launch”, its heart-breaking to witness the appearance of one’s child “refusing” to engage in the world. These kids are reacting in the only way they know how to the fear of rejection and its associated disappointment.
I’m going through this right now. I lost my job and had to move in with my parents
same
@@RisaWatanabe46 there’s a mix of reasons for my isolation but the biggest factors for me is shame, insecurities, and no motivation to do anything. People tell me to go to the park or something but I don’t see any reason. And going out costs money which is something I don’t have. And I can’t find a job. I’m at the lowest point of my life right now, if it wasn’t for my parents I would be worse and on the streets
@@bigmanting1874my man or girl, take baby steps. Sure you may be in a very low position in your life rn, but that doesn’t mean to lose hope and give up. Just take baby steps everyday. You may not have the motivation, but do it anyway for your own sanity and happiness.
@@bigmanting1874 Its my 2nd year in college right now and I'm scared that I won't be able to find a job when I graduate and have to move back with my parents and end up like these guys in the video. I doubt my degree will get me anywhere but I also don't know what to do at the moment. I feel kinda stuck.
In a similar boat, although technically I never moved out to begin with. The only reason i ended up finally getting a job again after spending pretty much all of 2022 unemployed was desperation, unfortunately. And even then I'm always asked the question of "What are you saving towards?"
Frick if i know, tbh. A house? Maybe, but good luck finding any place that wouldn't require you to sell your soul to some devil to get [IE: massive loan from a bank] and then some to bloody keep. A Vacation? Where to, nothing looks interesting anymore, especially if i can just look up pictures of it online. A Date? People are just terrible to each other these days, and use each other. How can i be sure that someone i'd meet would even care to know me on a deeper level? So there's a massive black cloud of apathy over my head, making it really hard to strive for anything.
I'm more than aware apart of this can be solved if i actually pointed myself in a direction and just...went there, but when all the options suck and screw you over on way or another, then is it not better to just...stay in the boat? Boat is nice. Boat won't screw you over, or hurt you, or tear you down over the slightest of mishaps.
I live in Japan (but I’m Canadian). Japan is almost like another planet in terms of culture, society, mannerism, etc… I often interact with both Japanese and tourists in Japan. I often ask tourists the exact same question: What are your impressions of Japan. I often get the exact same response: “It feels like a different planet”. In fact just the other day, I took a tourist who had just arrived to a local bar and just told him to be mindful of certain things because “Japan is like another planet”. As I said that, in walked another group of tourists who sat close by. When the owner asked them where they were from and what they thought of Japan, the reply was “it feels like another planet”.
The reason for that is very deep and complex , but it does has direct ties to the way the language itself functions. The way the actual language works is based on social hierarchy/status. It is also an extremely passive language. For example, when asking if someone wants to go to the restaurant, the natural Japanese way to ask is “Shall we not go to the restaurant together?” , if you want to talk to someone privately, instead of saying “can i talk to you for a second?”, they literally say “A little bit…” (ちょっと…). The “ …” is implying that you want to take a little bit of their time but you don’t outright say it. When you’re at a friend’s house and you want to go home, you don’t say “I gotta go home”, you say “slowly, but surely…” (always with the …); if you are going to continue after the … they might say “shall we not leave?” Instead of “let’s go”. The complexity of the language and culture explains a lot of the behavior that I observe here. A lot of Japanese have very poor interpersonal/social skills as a result of this upbringing. One longtime foreigner resident basically said that when it comes to personal relationships of any kind, Japanese can often behave like 5 year olds. For anyone interested, you should actually look up kikokushijo which is the term for Japanese born and Japan but who spent sometime outside of Japan in their formative years. They make the exact same comments as foreigners that they have a lot of difficulty adjusting to Japanese society despite being born here and having spent years being raised here. As soon as they spend a number of years in other countries in their formative years (before age 18), they end up being cursed when they come back. It’s very fascinating
It’s very fascinating for me to live here and to observe a lot of these things. This is not necessarily a criticism of Japan because there is much to criticize about the west, but these are very factual observations that many people have made which explain a lot of peculiarities that seem so odd to people outside of Japan (even other east Asians such as Koreans, Taiwanese, Chinese , etc…) The tourists/foreigners I interact with are from all walks of life.
In the end , I chose to live here because for myself, it suits my lifestyle better than the west (although I do miss many things from there too)
It started when friends I had for years starting turning on me and people I thought I knew became someone else. I get bullied a lot as well even as an adult. Everyone treats me poorly even my own family. I also suffer from ptsd, bpd, depression and various anxiety disorders. So now I've isolated myself in my apartment. I have a full time job, I do see people but I always stay quiet and to myself. I have adhd as well so this is all really real to me. Its sad, but people like me are treated very poorly in society. Being overweight doesnt help either but I turned to food as a coping mechanism for the loneliness
Join the club learn to rise above.. people will always be mean & cruel
It's the way people are I had a boss that bullied me finally one day as we were having a employee meeting in the restraunt, the customers overheard him telling me
How horrible of job I did & that I sucked at it I warned them not to
have me as a server as I'm not good at that type of position...
He ridiculed me Infront of my co workers that day I clocked out & quit...
The customers were an old couple the husband said to me" I've been a manager for over ten yrs,that man that talked down to you isn't a manager..."
I said I'm sorry you had to see that...
I said have a nice rest of your day.
He said we won't be back...
I'm in my 40s I've seen a lot and dealt with a lot of nasty people..
Here's the deal in this world you have to put people in their place,
Or they will walk all over you thinking it's okay...
The restraunt closed over bad management & repairs that were
needed..
I'm also disabled myself...
But I don't talk about it because
people could use it against me...
Not everyone is bad, but the world is truly upsidedown 🌸
You sound just like me. Depression really changed my outlook on life. I did have a job until January 2024 but after the horrible experience of a relapse and hospital stay in 2022 I decided I had enough of trying to be a productive citizen and applied for ill health retirement. So now I stay in my flat mostly, watching CZcams and learning how to day trade. I did my best for the last 34 years and I have decided not to give a fuck anymore. Stopped contact with my dad as he is always on my case. I'm not going to conform anymore and I'm not taking any disrespect from anyone.
That's because if you go outside you realize there's nobody there. Everyone's looking at their phones but no one answers.
I can at least explain this from a college standpoint. Despite colleges offering plently of opportunities for people to meet and organizations for stuff to do, they are often superfical because they they only occur during certain times or during the semester when students are busy with classwork. This leads to people on weekend where those not hosting events will often have no plan or only meet up with certain people. This is less in dorms but more in off campus housing, where the events are rare if it happens at all (In my apartment I am at in my internship, nobody knows each other). What really stings are the students that are here when no one is around (like in the summer).
I usually try to go outside through church, exercise, or even just going to a public area. But even then, meeting people is hard and some days, I am by myself.
And to add. Even if there are plently of events for college and young adults to go to, How many of them are gonna be populated by people going by themselves?
@@nickflinn9816 I agree with you, especially your last sentence. Its my 2nd year in college now and I still no friends and pretty much no social life. I tried to attend some activities organized by my college, but everyone was attending with their own friend group. I was there all by myself 😂
it's a crisis of meaning. most people suffering from this condition were raised by weak, absent minded parents that never bothered to bond and connect with their offspring. the kids are looking for guidance in a world increasingly complex and hostile to the psyche, and when they turn to their forefathers for advice the despondency only grows. the old world is dead, the new one struggles to be born. now is the time of Monsters.
"What would happen if the power went out"
I lived it few times, my brother and my neighbor are among those peoples, when the power goes out I hear my neighbor screaming as loud as he can, my brother is complaining then it goes louder and louder, begin to slurs the eletric company, the internet provider and proceed to call the internet provider, disrespectfully ask what is happening and want to know how much time it takes to be resolved.
Don't tell them to calm down or you are going to get insulted like never, or maybe more I haven't tried to go further, then they just go on an offline device like nintendo switch or retro game whiile keep complaining about the power cut.
And this kind of story is tiny compared to all of the other problems that kind of behavior create.
Lmaooo
I grew up in Japan and I started to watch your videos after my encounter to "why i left the left" video.
First I wanna say that it was good to listen what you said in 2:18 cuz that's the basic sense of balance that one should have and because you have it, it makes your comments trustworthy. Sorry if it sounded judging.
You talked about fathers out of the picture, I think it is because back in the days fathers were more out of the home, they were more professional kind of people and it was unusual for them to interact with their families in depth. It's getting better these days because the concept of both of the parents working, and managing household together, now men also have to play role in home.
Most hikikomori people have some kind of trauma which limited their life to one room. It's important to have online communities to share their pain with each other but as you said in the last of the video, the focus should be on solution not just complaining or justifying their situation kept in victim mentality.
There are support organizations that design activities for them to be able to have contact with the outside world gradually, and overcome theirs fear and trauma.
As for your concern on Gen Alpha, I feel the same for those digital native generation. I am gen Z and I did have problem making friends in school ( as it is quite difficult to be friends with Japanese people in general), internet was the place where I could find friends who had same hobbies as me.
But I was not so addicted to those communities, rather I consumed a lot of entertainment with good stories which helped me to understand my problems I had making friends or seeing the world.
So being in community too much could cause it more difficult to get out of that situation l, maybe reading books and watching movies can help one in a benefiting way. To get deeper insight about life and to get courage to tackle problems.
I learned communication skills, and now I have nice relationships with people around me and internet communities does not attract me anymore.
Sorry for the long comment, and grammar mistakes as English is not my native language .
"do sports, meet up with other people" ... everytime i meet other people, they make it clear to me that they hate me and want nothing have to do with me, thats why i try to go to the gym when no other people are around, i cant avoid my coworkers and having to endure their bad behaviours is hell! i tryed vacations, traveling, but doing everything alone while seeing that everyone else has company and is happy is just making things worse.
I agree Fielion.
I understand this well but in my experience, if people keep seeing you they get accustomed to your awkwardness. I guess they see I'm not dangerous but I don't know
Then you're trying to be with the wrong people. The people meant to be your friends will like you the way you are. You just have to keep trying to find them. And don't worry about work. Almost nobody likes their coworkers.
Everyone feels unwelcome everywhere they enter except hot 19yo white women of high status😂 all others are treated with the ick and side eye
maybe its becasue YOU CANT EARN NORMAL MONEY AND THE WORLD IS BEING SPUN AS A CRAZY PLACE!
It's finances & relationships. We made it unrealistically difficult to achieve success when it was basically a given in prior generations.
Maybe people will actually give a shit now that it's effecting women.
Only reason it’s getting some attention
And only women will get the recognition of their problem
Да я сам почти такой. В жизни ничего не получается, поэтому просто замыкаешься и ничего не делаешь.
I am an introvert and don’t go out as much. However, I like to spend time with my family and friends. I do talk to them about what’s going on in my life and other stuff. I am also a v shy person around people I don’t know. I am definitely not one of those crazy people in the video. I do have a summer job which gives me an excuse to get out of the house 😅. Anyways, good video, Misha!
Exactly. The goes way beyond just being introverted
I prefer my own company but I still go to work and have friends
These people need help. What happens when their parents are gone and nobody will support them?
@@tyronrichardson1037 Yeah, same!I love spending time by alone, which is totally different than being lonely. I like to do activities alone during the day (I am a female, and females shouldn't roam by themselves at night). For example, I love to go to the pool by myself because I can do whatever I want and stay how long I want. Ofc I like to spend time with my friends, but not every day! My friend and I like to hang out maybe once a week or so. She also is an introvert and likes to be alone lol. Well, she likes to hang out with me!
I think the people in the video have anti-social disorder or whatever it is called.
My sister, on the other hand, is the total opposite of me. She goes out a lot, and has way more friends than I do lol. She loves company from her friends and enjoys hanging out with them. I am glad my sis and I are different lol.
Ever since I've been on disability, other than places I have needed to go, I haven't bothered going out much. The world isn't as interesting as it used to be and I don't like anybody in it.
Omg i was just looking through your univeristy experience nowadays short while you uploaded xD the timing!
I'm not buying it. Nobody is talking about this out of empathy, they're upset they don't get to use these people.
I pretty much live like this (though I don't live with my parents, I do have a job) I don't have any actual friends or a "social life" and I work alone, it's really not a big deal like people make it out to be, its a peaceful life and theres nothing wrong with that.
I'm a recovering alcoholic. 42 years sober. Like all low bottom alcoholics, I know all about debilitating loneliness. And I like to isolate by nature. We all have a social anxiety instinct. In us alcoholics it's just tweaked way up as part of our natures. So isolation is a real temptation for me. What I do is I have a regular meeting I attend with my fellow alkies. My advice to folks like me is to join one of the many 12 step programs. There you have an automatic base community group and it's free. Also, I find walking is very helpful. One hundred miles to 130 miles per month. It is so important to get outside and get some sun and just basically stretch one's legs. My vitamin D levels were very low because I didn't get enough sun and that had all sorts of negative side effects. I supplemented vitamin D but it didn't work. I also live with a woman who is like me - a natural recluse. Even worse than me. She really hates being around people. What an introvert she is. So we talk but usually she's upstairs and I'm downstairs. It's kinda odd but still it's regular human contact. We also run a small business together so that sorta forces both of us out into the world, especially me. We're social creatures. Fresh air and sunshine. Regular contact with others. It's not all that complicated.
Sadly my sister has turned into one of these people, she is 40 years old incense social media came along she does not go outside anymore
People aren't happy now days, people are broke with lots of problems, bad economy.
Literally
This is sad. When I was a child I suffered extreme social anxiety and agoraphobia (this was like 20 yrs ago now). I didn't know back then, but I was actually undiagnosed autistic. I'm very grateful that my family pushed me to get help as it's a terrible life and - despite talking to people online - I was so lonely and isolated. It feels 'safe' and that's why it's so hard to get out of it. I can understand why this has increased in recent years, because of lockdowns etc and people being told it's safer to stay indoors. I don't think it's just young men but maybe they are more susceptible to it, I don't know. Treatment generally involves CBT where you do tasks such as 'walking down the street' and then build up from that. Recovery is possible ♥
As old-fashioned as I am in many ways, I've personally never wanted human kids either. Marriage is fine and I'm all for that, but kids (and marriage for others) shouldn't be so pressurized on society. It's bad enough of a stigma in the West to not want to live your life with that end goal, I can't imagine what people in Japan and other Asian countries have to go through with such strict traditionalism in their cultures.
As long as you're not putting a strain on your parents by soley depending on them for everything while you play games all day, we're not hurting anyone. We're actually less of a strain on society both socially and environmentally by not unnecessarily adding to everything. Is it so difficult to just let us be left tf alone? While I do agree that isolating yourself to this degree isn't good at all, I can't help but understand the ones that feel they have to live like this with how society as a whole views and treats people like this.
Ah the good old "my actions don't have consequences outside of myself" lie. Your actions have consequences, your taxes go to fund wars, coups and terrorise other countries, do not act as if the worse thing someone can do is interpersonal, no, the worst you can do is be part of the system.
Love your lights and the little fountain thing on your bedside table, so cute! 🥺
As someone who has been confining themselves for the past year, it gives me time to personally grow without outside distractions
Other people can push you to evolve faster. You need to find supportive people.
To be honest I currently do something relatively similar in Berlin (while working remotely). I will sound extremely negative, but since I moved here I feel that this is such a filthy place, it seems there are barely any normal people here, and the status quo is drugs, alcohol, casual sex, poliamory and open relationships. It's very hard to trust people, and I'd rather be alone in my peace, preserving my feeling of decency for a better day.
I've been living in Berlin all my life and I'm really tired of the people living here and how it's not changing for the better. But I also don't see myself living elsewhere, because here I have everything I need and everyone I know.
On a side note I think we are missing why these people prefer games to people. One guy said it best when he said it was just easier. The game doesn't expect you to work your whole life away for a maybe. It rewards you. If you defeat the boss you get the cool weapon or armor you were promised. There is no one suddenly stepping in and deciding that you don't get what you've worked for for some arbitrary reason.
If you romance you AI partner and you say or do nice things for them the AI rewards you with compliments and encouragement. It doesn't decide to treat you like crap because it had a bad day or label you as a creep because you just weren't attractive enough.
Gee, how terrible and completely insane! Humans go for reward and run away from situations that don't benefit them? How dare those peasants expect that their hard work and time should result in tangible benefits instead of a vague commitment that may or may not be honored.
People who got dealt a good hand in life won't understand. This includes the ones who assume they got a bad hand but really did not, they especially will start preaching to you about how "things aren't that bad" because they had a good hand all along.
Thanks for the video
I have a friend like this and it really is horrible. He dropped out of school, but when he did come he was always enjoyable, although he did say some out of pocket things. Now that he is fully online all day he seems to have gotten all the more bitter.
Sh!t's so expensive; people are so distrustworthy, that it's better to get your money's worth out of the house. That's my outlook on how it happens.
Online communities based off loneliness are the absolute WORST things you can ever seek out.
I tried one once and these people literally echo nothing but negativity to keep everyone else down to their subterranean level.
Maybe not intentionally, but you're NEVER getting improvement from places like that. Best case scenario, nothing changes and it's just more stagnation. Worst case, you get even worse.
thanks for talking about something so important!!!
The gargantuan traumas I faced in the past 2 years from home life, becoming a quasi-forced caretaker, romantic relationships, friendships, and the evil deceptions I faced in some of those relationships legitimately turned me into a hikki. No joke. I began to isolate and not talk to /anyone/, not even my family and online friends, I LITERALLY spent most of my time alone, in my bedroom in my own head. It was the only way I knew how to survive, I didn't trust people period. I didn't feel like a real person who existed, and I'd frantically write in my journal and 'self harem' in moments of desperation. I've started to open myself up in the past year to relationships and socializing even online again, and it feels crazy trying to make myself work with realistic logic in my head. I've met some cool people since then, and I've began to feel better about myself, but it was actually terrifying to put myself out there again. Overcoming isolation (still am in ways) was one of the hardest things I've ever had to power through.
Glad you are doing better. I agree that disappointment in humans is a big reason people withdraw. Stress is also a reason. Interacting with others can be annoying and stressful so it makes sense that you self isolate when you have just had enough of it. I find I'm doing this quite a lot, but I'm still up for talking to strangers if they seem friendly. I just don't want anymore drama.
@7:29 I am a borderline hikkikomori. No it would not help. What needs to be done is to find a job that is perfectly suitable for isolated and socially inept individuals. I can't find a job that doesn't make me want to off myself because of the stress.
But as usual people misunderstand why others are shut ins.
Im 22 now and I was like this for years, my parents just let me be till one day they sat me down and asked what the problem was, i had no answer, I believed i iust preferred being alone, i didn’t even know i was depressed, it took reading mushoku tensei or Jobless reincarnation, reading that story made me reaize i didn’t wanan end up the same way tha main character did, dying alone and feeling sorry for myself, so i started to trying to talk to my family more and force myself to get out of my comfort zone, i even started to work out.. all of that because a simple book, im a total loser but im working on myself, its not easy but living that kind of lifestyle is much worse
Though im still not a people person lol
These are not the words of a "loser"!
That is not hikikomori. That is you being a shut in due to a mental disorder. Hikikomori are persons rejecting society and being similar to hermits.
Great video, really. It breaks my heart to see so many people suffering from this.
People say that, “If everyone is mean to you, maybe you’re the problem.”
So I took that literally.
If me being ugly justifies people abusing me, than I’m taking responsibility and taking myself out of the situations.
Good thing I consider myself a Social Introvert. Although I prefer to stay at home on my days off bcz of 🎮📺&📕I’m Not afraid to go out and I socialize when I want/need to. I don’t let the crappy side of society try to make me scared of the world and if they do I just laugh and go on my merry way.
Thank you for bringing this up Misha
Japan & Korea are suffering from this and to think is spreading across the globe is scary.
For many people social media is the real world, and life is just a waiting room
Well said
3:55 damn that's so short minded of him🤨 I'm just glad my parents don't judge me for not wanting a relationship or kids. I'm on the spectrum and that must be related to it, i get extremely exhausted and tensed when i can't retreat myself regularly, having a family on my own is just really unachievable
Thanks!
Thank you!:)
I have severe social anxiety and a lot of other things. I love staying at home, I am more creative ,more peaceful,more productive when I stay isolated. Real , genuine connections are very rare. Majority is all about gloating and faking shit. If it's not a social event, I don't hang out with anyone.
If you are happy I guess it's really not a problem, as long as you can function well enough to take care of yourself. I agree people can be annoying. I was very outgoing as a child, hated being alone. Now, after years of depression I just cannot be bothered with people. I go out if I need to or if I want to. I'm not at all anxious, just tired of being let down by humans and not willing to put the effort in anymore.
@@wingnut71 Scary how similar my experience is to that. People tend to disappoint more then help. I've had great friends who just drifted apart as soon as our interests didn't align perfectly or failed to make connections with people cause everyone expects you to like what they do and can't stand if you have your own opinion. Being alone is preferable to constantly being let down.
change... bullshit! allthough i have done so many things in my life, things have never changed, everyone hates me, i am alone and i will stay alone. I think its life itself that hates me and that is so cruell that it loves to mock me and to bully me.
Most people never understand this.
This is sad. Why can't people just get on with one another and respect each other. This is not the fault of the individuals, but the fault of society as a whole.
Good work Misha for raising this. I never realised I was like this. This vid helped.
It's just a less painful lifestyle.
my best friend was a shut in, then he went out with this girl he met online...its been 3weeks and they still haven't found him, is it too much to hope he eloped?
lets face it, your best friend is de*d.
…
I'm kinda in a state like this for a couple of years. I know what can help me. Cleaning up not only my room but also... my life.
I got to stand up and face people more, I miss my old friends and I miss joy and going out.
It is very hard to really start that process, though. But I must do it.
Im adhd/add cptsd and ocd. Very much stayed in my room. Lots of bullying at work, school and traumatic home life in foster care and adopted. Life is tough and its hard to live in society. Dating apps are bad too. No one wants you
I put my dog in a dress sometimes. Usually for events, but she loves it. I think it makes her feel closer to us as her human family.
I give my dogs Halloween costumes 😆 we had a sea theme last year I was Ursula, one of my dogs was a mermaid, one was a shark and one was an octopus 😆 yeah it sounds weird but it's fun for me and I love how excited they get when I tell them how cute they are because they get so excited like "yes mom's excited so we should be excited too" and they seem so happy even though they don't fully understand.
In my medical uni at Nizhny Novgorod, we also have such miserable young men, although they must leave their house for studying. I am 19 now and I used to be this extra pretentious woke (as woke as it can be in Russia) anime girlie in 13. Not only I was identifying as hikka, I also was dreaming of transitioning to the boy because I thought girls are so bad and weak. Glad that nonsense disappeared with years, and now I am absolutely social and I am having fun in society while also embracing my femininity. I wish all hikkas to be healed from this nonsense, go touch grass, life will be so much beautiful without binge-watching anime, reading only manga and dating an AI. Been there, not missing those dark depressing times of self-hate.
Your post is really informative, thank you. I've never really understood the motivation as to why a woman would want to transition to a man _(I'm maybe a little older and also not an alphabet person)_ but it makes sense that the argument of _"they have it easier than us!"_ would apply both ways lol.
Do to think the process of becoming a hikki and then recovering from being one is much different for girls than boys?
@Real_Steve_Sharpe Hey, I think it is different. I won't tell why exactly men want to transition, still a mystery to me, but I really love Blaire White. From my point of view as a girl, I wanted to be a boy because I was an incredible pick-me. I thought that girls are all about gossip and drama, that all of «other girls» are 2 faced and shallow (I'm just generalizing, my inner misogyny was very layered). For example: these stupid chickens only watch twilight and only know how to gossip, while I read books, play Fallout and make friends exclusively with guys. I was so stuck on stupid that I was referring to myself in the masculine way (it is like a pronoun, but in Russian language we spell verbs and adjectives differently for men and women), and asked to be called Anton instead of Anna. Main point of my silly little rant is that I was an insecure, awkward teenager who thought she was ugly compared to other girls, so I started to believe that I'd be better off as a boy because I am too smart and intelligent with my pick-me attitude. And yeah, the anime and manga. No shade to the beautiful Japanese culture, but shade to its dark side which clearly had its influence on me and other young teenagers. I didn't have any tiktok back then and I still don't have, so my escapism from this cruel world was in anime, manga, books and computer games. I am not happy that Russia banned transition entirely for people who might really have such disorder, but for me, I'm glad that I've outgrown this cringe phase.
@@lampreybowyer u werent mysoginistic for analyzing real things but glad you found yourself and your people
Does your transsexuality have anything to do with hikko?
@@AtlasShillew I am not transsexual👁️👄👁️
I was saying I was so woke that I thought I am unhappy because I was born a girl, plus, I was hikko. My point here is that it was just a phase - both wokeness and hikko identity.
At times it's purely self isolation because of lack of relation and connection, at times lack of oppotunity and community, i'm a key worker and i'd be like this if I had no responcibility, at one point I sat in my bedroom on a holiday and played skyrim and fable tlc for days because where I live it's mainly families and rich older people. I didn't grow up with a computer or cell phone, infact i'd say that if I had one the bullying and harrasment would of been alot worse. All i've ever wanted was a job using my qualifications and a partner to raise a family with, but dating is aimed towards older people above 40 years old and the hook up culture is destroying everything. Personally, considering how things are in society, i'm close to doing this and working from home to save money on travel and living expences.
I go through hikikomori often. the reason why I dont stay home all the time is cuz my dad pays for my school and he's suffering too so I feel bad and make myself go to school so I dont get kicked out (I have 95 absences this semester and am failing 7/14 classes). I have depression and isolate for 2 weeks in my bedroom, shower and repeat. I cry, I sleep, I barely eat and I dont talk to anyone. I dont even use technology. I dont know how I spend those days but then I get this feeling where im stable and I can breathe again, go out, go to school, be in public and interact with others. it's liberating haha. glad im on my meds again!
My friend dropped out of high school last year because her anxiety got really bad. She has autism and now mostly stays in her room now. Of course she has her ups and downs, she’ll come outside everyday for a week and then the next week I won’t see her at all. There was one time I gave her a plant that sat outside and I told her to water it everyday which forced her to go outside and that seemed to help. But now she has a kitten and I think that’s good because she has something to take care of but this kitten also lives in her room which just makes her want to stay in there more so idk what to tell her but I’ll try an help.
We are also without the "third space", my generation it was church, country club or Sunday, brunch this generation doesn't have that.
Seen several people talking about that recently; it's true.
In Europe we have plenty of third places and is also a problem here although maybe to a lesser degree ,in Japan i also think they have plenty of third places.
It’s more the unrealistic expectations for the modern world and that society wants you to fit their mold of their society or you are shunned, I guess how nerds in older days and in Hollywood were seen as weird and now they are almost royalty
I hate going out, I hate talking to people, I just don’t care what most people have to say. Luckily my wife understands me and doesn’t force me to socialize. I love spending time with her, but that’s about all the people I can really care about.
Misha your killing it with subscribers good for you!!
I have spent enough time with people. People are aggravating. No good comes out of human interaction. So I embrace Hikikomori. MisterX
I love my family, but when it comes to love, friendships & job lives, I'm honestly currently an isolated person due to the fact that I had to deal with MANY jealous & narc people around me who (some of them) even abvsed me sexvally. And there were married & cheaating men who were interested in me & I said no... How should I believe in love with such an environment although my parents were married for 50 years? Because since my beloved dad passed away, it's like my belief in love did the same due to the fact that I witnessed many divorces & cheaatings here. That's why I really appreciate myself for my principles of being alone instead of wreckin homes, being in peace & in boredom. I won't neither force someone nor myself into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. I am not a hikikomori but I will take life & love how it comes not how society expects from me, especially as a person with pride. ✌️
so you single then?
@foolserrand-lu7ym Nope 🙅♀️
@@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose thats a relief
My heart goes out to all of those who are suffering in silence. As someone who has dealt with alcoholism and homelessness I can relate.Ive seen the worst and the best in people and I know what it’s like to feel utterly a lone and broken. But life is worth living for especially with other people. The fondest memories I’ve ever had and the ones we will all remember on our death beds are the ones we spent with other people. So take a chance get out of your comfort zone and face life head on. And I know not all of us were born with a silver spoon in our mouths but go out there and face the world and your reality and take life by the balls. And just know that you can’t do it alone . You’re going to need some help because your own thinking is what got you there in the first place. So have some courage and ask for help to get yourself out of that hellhole you’re in. And P.S if I was a father I kick my sons a** right out the house and I would be doing him a favor.
I’m pretty antisocial, so this isn’t an “epidemic” to me. I only go out to parks for recreation. I stay away from bars, parties, etc.
Dude, you don't bring food to their door. If someone is sick, that's a different story. Stop bringing food = you're gonna see their face out of their room REAL soon! Also, cut the router. You're paying for the wifi. They go out for a walk, they get an hour online. They go to therapy, they get an hour online. Nobody wants to say it, but this isn't about "mothers," this is about Japanese culture being excessively passive.
Man this shouls really be brought up more often, everyone says to be more understanding, more supportive, never to be less passive. It was so frowned upon in my community, seen as "bitchy", "offensive", yeah, I feel disgusting when I say those things, get into someone's dirt, but some things need to be said, it's not part of me, it's just my duty as a human. Main reason I had to move out quick, as soon as it hit me. You need bitchy people in your life who'll raise the standards
I really don't think that is a good idea.. Forcing these people who are depressed to do things they don't want is really asking for things to go very wrong.. Japan has a ridiculously high suicide rate for a reason. But to someone to get to this point to begin with, they must be around some shitty people, be their family who sees them as worthless, getting bullied in school, work, etc.
The only way i can see this getting better, is to inject hope in the lives of these people, to show that life is not all bad, and give alternatives of what they could do, and in my opinion, society should take this bulling problem way more seriously, because there are literally people killing themselves because of it.
The reason they are hikimori is because society doesn’t accept them, the family do it because their hide kids from neighbors ect it’s seen as a shame, they don’t want their “loser” son to be seen in public, even the elderly are d1ing alone in Japan.
Japan is humongous for a reason you either conform or are you are shunned by society
The reason they are hikimori is because society doesn’t accept them, the family do it because their hide kids from neighbors ect it’s seen as a shame, they don’t want their “loser” son to be seen in public, even the elderly are D alone in Japan.
Japan is homogeneous for a reason you either conform or are you are shunned by society
As someone who has been in this state and spoken with many hikkikomori before, no, they/we would not leave, hikkikimori give up on life, if no one else sustains them, they will die. They are not going to unalive themselves actively like by inflicting life threatening injury but they will passively, doing things that have bad long term effects.
Hopelessness is destroying so many people, Another bigger problem is that depressions counselors are not really helping their clients more likely only lining their pockets.
MFW, goes to a therapist. They say your concerns are all in your head. You leave the therapist, face the things you are concerned with, so much for all in your head.
I really do feel for these people. I been through a horrible depression and was sleeping all the times for years. It was a miserable existence. I am so glad I got treatment and am doing much, much better now. It's a dark hole that is really hard to crawl out of.
Misha, you touched on a very important issue.
I'm A 90's (est 85) it was way different when I went to school my generation are the "Digital Natives" .
But man everybody has phones in school nowadays so if you do anything embarrassing it will be recorded by somebody and posted posted on the internet and everyone is afraid to thatc mite be recorded if they do they retreat in them selves.