If A Man DEEPLY LOVES YOU, He Will DO THESE 3 Things! | Stephan Speaks & Lewis Howes
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- čas přidán 27. 11. 2022
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In order for relationships to thrive, it is so important to establish a great structure for communication early in your relationship. I am excited for you learn in this episode, how to establish that structure, what conversations you need to have before committing to a relationship and why making the safe choice in a partner almost always fails.
And now, let’s jump into Episode 1,351 of The School of Greatness.
"Never be afraid to lose them more than you are afraid to lose yourself" AMEN
True! You can't loose something that was never yours! Nobody is yours, not now, but one day we will be one flesh, that was the way The Almighty made us in the beginning! A complement and a helper for each other, love him/her endlessly.♥️🤍🌙🙏🌴🎵🎶🎶🎶
This statement is the core of feminity. It is of the flesh and is determintal. The word "them" means you are promiscuous. And any woman that is promiscous is bad luck in a relationship that is hetero. It is destined to fail by her hands.
I mean it is really moot bc you lose yourself when you play the hoe. One day the whole world will be a hoe and perish! In one hour!!
@@mashiahaaroeh3506 One day the whole world will be a hoe and will perish in one hour, oh well I think that hour is already here, the world ready to go! Can't wait it does... Nothing really good out there! 🌎😟🤔🤭🤪
You guys are sooo on point with every opinion and fact that I absolutely enjoyed listening to from the beginning until the end. Your discussion reminds me about the movie that is based on Aretha Franklyn's real life true story called Respect. Remember the part when she was with her very abusive husband, Ted? He constantly reminded her about her demons in order to justify his own demons. He used mind and manipulation tactics to emotionally and mentally drain her on top of physically beating her like a man in the streets. He tried to destroy her destiny while she continued to put up with him until she finally grew to realize the iconic woman she really was!! It was her decision to end the turmoil and her marriage. He never even thought that anything was wrong with their marriage. Aretha had to make the decision that she deserved better than the disrespect that her husband dished out to her in public and behind closed doors.
@@mariatalvarez9576 Yes!
Another word for submission is TRUST.
You can’t submit to a man you don’t trust.
100%! I would love to just stop being the breadwinner, stop being the masculine energy and step away from that role, and put all the financial stability and control into his court, but he has shown to me so many times that he will not step into his masculine, take control and provide. He doesn't think things through, and he doesn't follow through. I have given him so much support and patience, but I'm afraid over the years he has lost my trust. Yikes 😬😳 this is not good. Just having to think about what that would look like is very eye opening.
@@sobriquetsunshine7585 I've been there. You're not loosing anything. But you will have more food in the fridge and you get your couch back. Everything else is exactly the same after he leaves.
@@sobriquetsunshine7585 same. My ex ex is a very nice guy. Chivalrous type. But he's still at home with his mom at 32 Grant he has a job and a car but he don't have a vision, goals or even true hobbies. But plans to own land one day..
Trust is a must. After two years found he is a horrific liar. Said he was meeting high school friend for dinner. I googled the person, his obituary came up. Confronted him, he continued to lie.
@@sharonstutler3436 Run, don't walk to get away!
Submission comes naturally and automatically when the man is worthy
Yeah, the only kind of man most women consider "worthy" is way out of their league. Proven statistical fact that 80% of the women are chasing roughly the same top 20% of the men.
So true
Bingo
So what is a worthy man?
Absolutely true. I love letting my man lead, he takes such amazing care of me & in return it makes me want to love & care for him even more.
I always advised my daughters, don't choose a boy for the girl that you are, choose a man for the woman that you wish to become!🙏🏽📖💜💜
I love this ❤
@@torifultze8162 thank you!🙏🏽
💯
That goes both ways sir
Yes! For boys and girls but I believe this is extremely important for girls
Stephan nails it! I gave up on finding a good man until I fell in love with a man 10 years my Junior! He was confident, smart , funny, kind and good looking! We now have been married for 33 years! I am blessed!
I am in a similar position, I am 20 years older than my partner, and it is the best relationship I have eer had. His is kind, funny and really thoughtful as well as giving me all I need.
Where did you meet him? Where are the good men?
Damn, nice one!
I love this!!! Recently started communicating with a man 20yrs younger and I must say he’s so mature, focus and appreciative of me. This is a new area for me but I’m loving it so far. These comments gives me hope
10 years younger?
Submit = Trust. When a man shows that he is consistent, she will trust.
this.
That part!
For real. This is so on point though. Cant wait to find a man who is consistent, until then I'll keep chugging along on my own.
Blind trust is necessary to get that consistency
This is the issue for most people, in the case of a partner who's at least half decent- the inconsistency (and other issues) are a direct result of their past wounding, but instead, women generally choose to repeat those cycles by yet again, demonizing and resenting every new partner for unconciously bringing about their energetic patterning
Blindly trust and have only the most positive expectations, or fall into the hole of "Men BAD! SEE?!"
A little jarring, but there's no way around it.
Stop blaming others.
@@beasmarty i do see it. well said.
As a woman, I can "submit to him" when I have full respect and trust in him.
Facts!
In a healthy relationship no one ever needs to submit, it’s a loving cooperative dynamic where there is flexibility in give and take, follow and lead. It’s about as a couple being beign strong for each other when the other can’t it’s about leading when your partner is not able to it’s about letting another lead because you want them to exercise leading so they can growth their self confidence. It’s all about helping each other while remaining fully with yourself too. I think that’s a true loving healthy relationship. Nothing is fixed and both are taking turns for growth and wellbeing of both interdependently not codependently.
@@tc88101 there is submission in a relationship because in order to do what you are used and that is what's best for you when single, you have to compromise and agree to do something that's best for the two of you in a relationship, and that doesn't necessarily mean that this is what you truly want but is a second best. So you do submit to the wishes of your partner as well, when taking a decision together and you are only going to do it if is worth it. Worth in this case can mean that you trust and respect him and that you feel he does trust you and respect you back. If you think you are smarter than him than you will not trust his judgement and automatically you will not truly have full respect for him. When you don't trust his judgement you cannot fully submit because in the back of your head you might think he takes a decision that in the long run will favour him and not you or it will have negative or unwanted side effects later. This can go the other way around too, regardless of who is leading or gender so yes, people submit to each other. I think you are young and might not understand this now but you will later on in life.
Funny expression,,I can submit " ,so you playing with his feelings and passion until you will be able to trust him,or that he will marry you,probably your mom teach you that,because today the times differs from the past Sex comes first ,because both want to know how they feel about each other intimately.i want to know how his kisses taste,does he has the same pleasure in sex as me ,what kind of sex he prefers,a lot of details,that I want to know upfront and I guess the men too,because this is very important in the marriage,to be honest that the sex is actually the most important in marriage.An other I will marry my best friend if it is not about the sex.You don't have a sex with your best friend,but with your ,,lover" who eventually will become your husband .Women that marry to have a sex are manipulative Hmmmm
@@user-ht5xz1iq2p I don't think you listened to the video. My take on what Stephan was saying was to "submit" meant letting him guide the relationship, and had nothing to do with if and when you had sex.
The thing that makes me respect a man, if anything, is him being brave enough to show his true vulnerable self
When both parties are ready to be vulnerable and honest with each other, everything else falls into place.
Exactly
On the Money!!!!
Sike! He can be vulnerable with you but you better not be stupid enough to be vulnerable with him. That's dumb because men do not operate in the same way that women do emotionally
Men are masculine honey. Real men will tell a woman the truth, they are assertive in the way that they move, and they don't move with emotions the way that women do. We as women need to understand that our men funciton completely different than us.
That's love and only love can make that.
Submission isn’t happening without a woman trusting that her man holds her best interest in heart just as she does for him.
A woman who chooses a man she doesn't trust has other issues she needs to work on, and is not the prize in that relationship.
Can you say that louder and one more time!!!!!!! Some men just don't get it!
Real talk
‼️
"Under every great comment there is sick reply."
Buddha (if he were in 2022)
I’m 59 years old and have begun a new relationship. I watch your videos. I understand now where and how I’ve gone wrong in the past. Thanks to you, I have real requirements and can verbalize them. He asked me to be his woman. Did not understand even the importance of that in my younger years. Thank you so much!
So happy to hear it was helpful for you!
72 and in a new relationship that's the best ever
@@esuc5349thanks for giving me that hope! I’m starting something promising at 49 and you just gave me hope. 💕🙏
40:08 Submission- allowing the man to lead in the relationship- not in a dictator way- but in a way that allows him to love you.
People who are afraid to lose their partners are people who love their partners more than they do themselves. We need to love and value ourselves more
But I think it’s a sign of loving our partner if we’re careful not to lose them.
Well we have to define what is losing yourself / not valuing yourself?? As a wife i don’t feel lost when im cooking food for my family husband included, i dont feel lost when im cleaning the house or going to work .. its a lot and i get exhausted sometimes BUT i also have children who need tending to and a husband who works his behind off to keep a roof and food on the table .. so as a couple is that loosing yourself ??
I dont think so.. i mean yes when you marry and have kids you dont have the time that you did when you were single and were focusing totally on yourself..that HAS to change because you have a marriage and kids and yes you are to make time for you and your husband away from the kids from time to time so i believe that there are changes you just have to cope with but you also have the love of your spouse and children .. 🩷 God bless..
I love the question you asked him about what he looks for in a woman and his response are great. Expecially God factor over logical which some are using to settle. Nice one
That's not what the Bible says...😮 I listen to the Bible as my INSTRUCTION MANUAL as Romans 15:4 tells us too
IT says that it "gives us hope."
The Bible actually tells us to see others as more important than we do ourselves. I think that is probably to keep us from being stuck up.
And probably also so we don't leave everyone in our dust thinking that we're the most important thing that exists in our life.
(1 Corinthians 10:24,; Philippians 2:4)
Stop lying
If you are not connecting emotionally and spiritually it is damn near impossible ❤❤❤
Right you have to be able to lead me
Absolutely 💯 Correct 👍🏼
You need both physical/ emotional l attraction I don't think it's a either or! If your in a religion with spiritual beliefs that would mean you could marry anyone spiritual there has to be something to be different then friends..to differentiate a relationship..sparks..you need both as this works like a pump..when one us down you have the other attraction emotionally..too...obvious the spiritual is there if you share same values but other compatibilities are needed to blend lives together..
@CoachKarenOliver I don't need them to "lead" per say... its a dance... I just need them to be their own person
Ditto!
Every woman needs peace too. 🕊 There, I said it.
Choosing partners that are safe has been my go to act. I’m choosing to be alone,do the work,so that when I’m ready that relationship will appear. It’s scary to be an older woman and finally see this and make this choice- but ultimately I love my own company,crack myself up, and have plenty to work on.
Wow! I'm 59 and couldn't have said it better myself! Best of luck to you!
Ditto!
Saying I love you to anyone, male or female means nothing . It is actions that tell you, you are loved.
True 1:02
Yes but it feels great to put words with actions. Not hearing his voice speak the words may lead to the wrong interpretation such as him feeling obligated and nothing else.
YES!!!
But there is danger to think everybody’s love language does not need to hear those words Spoken! So many use actions as a scapegoat to neglect the need to SAY it! That would be assuming just because you kiss someone but never say they have beautiful lips… some need to Hear that you love them!
U need both...cuz some men just like to keep busy it's not always that they doing it for u...u just gotta watch out...
As a happily married woman I always tell people to become who they want to be with. By doing so you fill yourself up with everything you want on the outside within. That way when someone comes along you are confident in who are because you already have everything you want within. Whoever comes along won’t make you happy they will amplify the happiness already within you! ❤ much love to you all
Truth ❤
I generellt love that but I am conflict in the understanding of I don’t want to become the ”man”. I would want him to be What I am not and cannot. I don’t ask of myself to have it all. How do you think about that? I do understand things like if I want to meet somebody that I trist and who trust me I need to learn how to trust myself and others first. Somebody who is willing to do things for me, I need to also be willing to do things for him and I can start with others.
@Create the Way of Life you Want
If I may say, I think you should try to look at it the way it actually is:
Each of us have both masculine and feminine energies. We are Spiritual Being in bodies. Yes, we defer in these bodies. Significantly even. But one needs to heal BOTH energies within oneself in order to become that whole, healed being described above. We don't need to be masculine women. On the contrary! We need to heal our *wounded* masculine in order to allow our femininity to shine. 💚
Exactly!
This masculine and feminine energy business just seems rather ridiculous. Why can't we all just be ourselves and try to be good to ourselves and good friends and others and find people who like us for who we are and vice versa? His advice is based on the Christian Bible he believes in. The same text that condones slavery and women and children as property. Great book, not. Why do we need to try to be anything specific to our gender to find a mate? It just sounds like people are trying to say that people have to be a specific way depending on if they are a man or a woman if they want to get a mate, and I don't think that's correct at all. Healing energies? Hu?
Stephan you understand women so well. “If he shows himself worthy, I will submit”. Exactly! Very insightful conversation. What a lucky women that gets to have you. Thank you ❤
Thank you for tuning in!
What strucked me the most is the spirituality part. It’s not good to marry someone who doesn’t have the same beliefs as you have or who doesn’t value the spiritual aspect in a relationship. Married for 18 years but I always go to church mostly by myself. It’s very difficult to undo. It’s not making me happy truly happy.
First, women over 30 do have a chance at a relationship. I was 42 when I entered into a new relationship, 3 years after I got divorced and we were soul mates until he sadly passed away just 5 days before Christmas. We loved each other truly and deeply until his last breath. We were always there for each other, and cherished our relationship from every angle.
Sorry for your loss, that must have been difficult. Stephan is knowledgeable but I think he is fearful of relationships. I hope he finds his 'Balance' and the person who 'fits' him. I would love to find my soul mate. You were Blessed and still are Be at peace
Sorry for your loss. 😢
Sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing ❤️
Thx for sharing, sorry for your terrible loss.
Oh God, I am So Sorry 😢
“Don’t find your equal. Find your missing piece.” ❤❤❤
🧡
You are complete already, n9 need to find your missing piece
@@Carorca2 I think sometimes the word equal is used only to mean "same level" and I take what the commenter said to mean...missing piece, someone who is strong in areas you maybe aren't or the Ying and the Yang. Not to say a person is incomplete without another but more so, someone who offers the things you either seek, wish to develop or be more like. If we wanted someone "just like me", we would likely be content without anyone.
U should be whole & complete!
I think women feel desperate if you look for loving caring qualities in a man. And then that becomes a project or a life's mission. There are so many wonderful people with diverse qualities to share and not necessarily having a penis being the main thing to offer. Afterall as life goes on you want much more.
This man knows what he’s talking about.
I could listen to this conversation all day. Never lose yourself to stay with someone who is safe. A big lesson is losing yourself is non negotiable.
Until a man is willing to do manly things; women are forced to play manly rolls in order to keep the family afloat. Many women are playing both rolls rather than lose their home and children. We need some relief in order to fully step into the feminine, in the way that really desire to.
(I'm still pretty green on my journey and a lot of my knowledge comes from research as opposed to experience.) That sounds like it's giving away power by putting responsibility on an external source instead of going within to find creative (creativity being feminine) new ways of approaching the illusion of "having to sacrifice feminity to maintain harmony". Humans have infinite possibilities at our fingertips if we consider quantum physics, string theory, Einstein said imagination is more important than knowledge and everything is energy. A reality of fully embracing femininity while doing masculine things is very possible.
And sometimes creativity is a man or woman leaving their spouse for better
Yes it was tiring
The feminist movement which had nothing to do with emancipation caused women to divest her femininity for male goals supported by social narratives and media propaganda to create a new consumer and fracture of feminine principles. It was the beginning of the gender dysfunction we see today. It was always a planned destruction of the family unit, gender war and gender confusion for the ultimate transhumanist singularity!
@@DiDi_1700 Did I claim to not have kids or did you just assume? No thanks, and for my mind I've cancelled that suggestion you just wrote of having kids so that I can choose my reality as I see fit.
However, I've gotten some of the info from actual mothers. I also mentioned science. We're living in a time where computer code is known to be in the structure of the universe. This isn't about me convincing you or anyone who reads this, it's food for thought, and if it resonates with anyone now or in the future, I did my part by posting here. If needed, it will be found.
Although a very relevant time would be to chat when I've accomplished seemingly impossible feats one after another after another, more consistently than I already have been. since it's not the same but still similar in the "woman accomplishing impossible" regard. We probs won't chat then either, just saying.
"Never be afraid to lose them more than you are afraid to lose yourself."~Beautiful. "The key is who you entertain."~So much wisdom! So looking forward to finding my complement after much healing. ❤️ Subscribed. 🙌
True story 💯
Thank you for your support.
I. In the black community so many men are not stepping up to be the provider, protector, due to issues of their environment, poor family upbringing, lack of good male role models and other issues such as poor decision making. A woman can not trust such a man when he is dysfunctional. To submit in a relationship one must know he has my best interest always.
@@bonitawilliams3513PRECISELY
Yes!
When he talked about not touching except when the partner desires sex is SO relatable. My husband is exactly that, and every time I tried to sit down with him to talk about it, it went in one ear and out the other. Things might change for a week at best.
In the Bible this is referred to as abandonment of the marriage.
Are you still with him?😢
@@malaykabarry5 yes and no. We have a platonic marriage.
@@Thi-NguyenI feel sad that's happening.
@@LookingForGodHEISEVERYWHERE eh… for now, it’s tolerable. We have some joint bills and I know he can’t afford that and to support himself. (I make three times his income.) So I can manage until the bills are paid. Then I’ll have to reevaluate. 🤷♀️
@@LookingForGodHEISEVERYWHERE you’re sweet for expressing your concern. 💖 I’m touched. Honestly, I’ve pictured myself living on my own with just my dogs I can’t even count how many times, and I see myself so much happier. But for now, I’m bidding my time. Shouldn’t be long before our joint debts will be paid and it’ll be time to have that final discussion.
Communication is really big deal in a relationship, be honest to each other, tell what you want and you don't want both sides, tell the limitations, the boundaries in and out of relationship, be respectful to ones wants and don't want, give personal space, support each other as long as there in no wrong doing, be the friend, best friend, wife, the advicer, the protector but the lover at the same time, forgive, but tell that it should not going to happen again, enjoy and be happy yourself inorder to be happy in relationship and with a person you are with
A man must be satisfied with himself to be happy with an awesome woman. No matter how perfect a woman is for a man he can NEVER be happy with her if he is struggling within himself. After acheiving this level of self satisfaction, he must have discipline to sustain faithfulness and loyalty for the duration of his marriage. Some men cheat when they get bored. A strong character based on good principles is a must.
Faithfulness and loyalty can’t be underestimated
Well said
I think this is the missing link!
What our relationship was based on was likeness, love, trust, loyalty, and dedication. We had all the ingredients for a successful, loving relationship. Unfortunately, my soul mate passed away recently.
@@vesnabjelanovic6595 oh no I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing.
Life is short so we all need to enjoy our mates!
I prefer the term “surrender” to “submit”, because it’s a choice I make which does not hold the same negative connotation. The man I surrender to must be able to meet my intellectual, emotional, spiritual and physical needs. If he feeds my mind and my soul, I will give back exponentially. I totally need to feel loved, safe and stimulated!
Sometimes we set our standards too high and miss out on what we need. Instead we listen to what Society tells us that we should want and shouldn't want. There is a big difference from what we want and what we need. To be with someone of the opposite sex I guess you would call it your soulmate it's give and take, it's compromising because there's no one person that's going to have everything exact of what you want because everyone has flaws they have to accept your flaws and you have to accept theirs there's no perfect person women or men should read their Bibles and follow the word for man and woman and the Rules of Marriage and don't let Society dictate to us what we should want and what we need it's already written in the word of God to have that perfect marriage but again we let Society dictate to us what we want and what were going to take and not take when we don't want. Sometimes women have to stop being so strong and then have to stop being so weak and follow the roles that we're supposed to play in life
I think neither word is necessary. Its simply 'Comfortable' 'Satisfied' 'Enough'. I'd rather be 'Comfortable' with someone than 'Surrender' or be 'Submissive'. Those are biblical terms and women were looked upon as Submissive or shy to obey. It pretty much means be silent and behave. I don't have a problem with my man leading and prefer it because I am 'Comfortable' in our releationship.
@@filmladyproduction l agree with you!
I agree with you 💯. Well said. Surrender is the correct word
Truly because I'm so afraid of submitting, but I've already surrendered. It's the word that is terrifying for me
Nailed it!! Women need Emotional Love, Security, (We want to feel safe)And Stimulating Communication.
Exactly, we don't want you to fix it, we want to feel heard. ❤️
🧡
When he LOVES you...he there for you 24/7. You're his TOP Priority.
That’s sounds like co dependency, not healthy
And he won’t go out with anyone else (sex)
@@sergnextdoor5213 then what instead
@@aurora_boketto7746 interdependency…. When a woman completely consumes a man’s thoughts, it’s not healthy. His energy is drained, lacks purpose, eventually leads to being a simp. Both need to trust each other and not worry or be fearful of one cheating etc. cop-dependency is childish and draining
Truth
How does this man understand women so well! I have never met a man in my 58 years who had such an understanding. I have chosen to be single because of my experiences.
It's as real as that!
Yeah and save yourself the pain and be single. Lol.
@ lisamarr it is his job!!! If you had to find out what and how to help a woman to be healed , you gonna have to understand all of them different women that come complaining about theirs choices and way of life or experiences.
I would never try to say what a zMAN would do. #1WHERE ARE THE REAL MEN. SMDH.🙃
I feel like everything he says about women is the complete opposite of how women work.
This is exactly what I am dealing with. One, I went into a relationship without healing from the last. This man was safe, a good man, and now I’m questioning why I don’t want to be here… I have also been in therapy, and the more healing I do the less I want to be with this person. I have been subconsciously making drama, in order to push him away. I’ve been praying for direction. Thank you for being used.
We stay in relationships longer when we haven’t fully healed the past. This resonates with me.
Every woman wants to feel safe! 💯💯💯
Safe tat she can trust him
@@jacquelinejanz5792 agreed
Chris what do you mean (I know) "feel safe". Don't prostitutes look for that too?
Jacqueline you mean that.
That she won't be judged by telling him her fears/ worries/ hopes. It comes down to kindness and humility from a man
I finally stepped away from “my type” even stepped outside my race for a change. I think I may have found the man of my dreams ❤
Your race is the human race, so does that mean you are now into dogs?
@@ritadelille yes
I tell other women don't put your dating pool in a box. I was raised to believe the guy needed to be the same age or older. None of that matters within reason. As long as the guy is reasonably legal age, got a good head on his shoulders, morals, then don't limit yourself. If you date younger, just take care of yourself. I personally look younger and take care of myself, so me "aging" isn't an issue. If there is a real connection those things won't be as much of an issue. Dating another race, I recommend staying away from people who don't have their own identity or try to mimic or emulate your culture or racial identity, if they weren't raised like "you" then run for the hills. At that point, you are a fetish to them. Good luck to you.
50 - 50 is impossible to measure - both should give 100%
Healing first is extremely important. Values, Vision, Lifestyle...Absolutely ❤ Thank you for this profound message ❤
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
I am a 71 year woman who found the love of her life at 57 with a man in his masculine. i agree about feeling safe, however, I relate to the the word “surrender“ much more than “submissive “ even though they mean the same thing in this context.
Thank you for saying that not all men want women under 30. Thank You!! I been having this debate with some homies. I personally think it's gross to mess with a woman young enough to be my daughter.
Good for you happy to hear. I was involved with a guy 25 years my senior he had 5 kids one of his children is older than me. I now look back and look at it like this when he was 25 I was 1 years old that is gross now looking back. He also lied to me about his age and I did not find out until a few years later.
I was also chocked that in the conversation, the edge was 30! I looked like a girl at 30... And yes, now 20 yrs later I can say many men also like someone older that them, no doubt about that. Now I have to navigate with that compass, saying how much younger is ok to say yes to. It's not difficult, I'm not a perv ;) but I grew up thinking young was the only way (magazines etc...) - so this was a surprising turn of things. Still the right person will be the right one, regardless of age, older or younger.
Glad you think so. I've met grown men who look to high schools to find that Virgin as justifications for being predators and that is a skewed way of looking back.
In my opinion, a man who wants a woman over 30 is a REAL man. Older. Men who want younger women, are immature and insecure.
Thank you, fact is when a man gets with a woman 20-25 yrs older 🧓 elderly it reflects on that man his mental. It's points strongly he is rocking the cradle. I couldn't be desperate to even become involved with a man who desires me at an much much older man. 😔
Sometimes we tend to focus on the relationship needs so much that we miss if we want that “person.” Even the pursuit of a committed relationship distracts us from knowing if we want to spend our time and lives with that type of person. So…it’s crucial to spend time doing nothing together early on.
This man being interviewed is right on target again and again. Amazingly helpful advice. Thank you so much for your work and generosity! Blessings to you!!!
YES, for me spiritual attraction is everything! When there is spiritual attraction, it makes every other area flow much better. Most of us women value deep intimacy before physical intimacy. 🎯
Yes, what I view is growing old together, that physical thing don't work forever, but intimacy..Love is everything. If he don't have that he has issues he needs to resolve on his own, by himself. As Stephan put it , be in the 'Wilderness' for a while.
@@filmladyproductionAmen!
😊
He said,, “When a woman dates down, you’ve just raised his stock”. FACTS, nicely put.
My ex is lucky then lol
Compassion for her pain is huge.
I am truly impressed by the conversation you two are sharing. Thank you.
I get itchy when people start talking about "roles." But the part about letting a man love you and provide for you absolutely rang true. When a man is into you, he'll try to give you something. A gift, a helping hand, food, a ride to the airport, whatever. If you can't receive this from him, then he won't feel that his deeper love will be welcome and accepted. To be able to give something to you and then see that he made you smile is magical. It draws him to you.
I had that helping hand in May of this year. I was surprised by the offer of help. Being independent is the way I have been. But I have had health problems and my Car died. He was helpful to me which I enjoyed him immensely.
Helping without ulterior motives is truly intoxicating 🤩
For a woman ( well for me as a woman , I can only speak about me ) it is exactly the same. . So. We are humans forget these dualities
I’ve had men do things for me and at first it felt good until things weren’t his way then he pulled out his invisible laundry list of… I did this and I did that for you. Basically emotional blackmail. So so hurtful when you felt they wanted to genuinely do something nice for you. How do you know what his underlying intention really is?
@@TapIntoAlignment that's such a terrible experience! I guess i would say, don't listen to anything he says. Just watch what he does. A person who truly cares for you and wants to be that man for you will not pressure you. They are happy just to put a smile on your face. Let him do something small for you when he asks. Let him bring you a gallon of milk. Then watch him. See how he acts. That's basically all i do. I watch carefully to see if he's gonna act nasty in some way.
What resonated with me was when you discussed how tough it is being in a relationship with a good man and not feeling fulfilled or happy in that relationship, how much backlash you get from everyone when you choose to leave. It takes a lot of strength to realize your situation and take the necessary steps to change.
People get used to a woman in a position of being misused or abused by a partner and they unwittingly take advantage as well.
That is brave. You have to be true to yourself for sure.
Yep
Okay, my question can be very problematic here, but if you can, I want you to answer: what if the situation is the opposite? You're with someone that nobody approves and you still want to be with that person???
I mean, in my situation is that he, my boyfriend, has done bad stuff to me and I used to tell about those things with, like, a lot of people, like my mom, my dad, people from my family, some close friends, and they started hating my boyfriend because of that, so it's pretty much my fault cause, as Stefan said in the video, there are lots of people, like me, who used to tell people around them the bad things their partner did to them, but they know they lacked telling people the good stuff their partner has done to them. Like, in the case of my boyfriend, I know how much he loves me because of his good actions and good behaviours towards me and I know he was able to change bad behaviours when I seriously talked to him about them. Get it?
@ingrid5944 it's not your fault for telling them. It's his for doing whatever behaviors that causes everyone to come to the same conclusion.
You may not always click but it should never be mistreatment and bad behavior. The good times can't balance that.
Your situation is likely not as severe as mine was, but your rational is what I used and it kept me with an abuser.
No matter how perfect a woman may be, if a man is not into her then it just not gonna work! Nothing is wrong with her or him…
• I'd rather be alone and single than be lonely in a relationship.
• Lewis, I love that you see the value of chastity until the relationship develops. I believe that is the key.
• I don't think shame stops people from expressing their needs early on, I believe it's due to immaturity or lack of self-awareness.
A partner who wants the best for you creates.trust.
This gentleman expresses himself amazingly well. He needs to turn this into a 2 week minimum course for freshmen or Sophome's in high school. It should be a required college course. This could fix a whole lot of what's wrong with relationships today.
Of unequally yoked but yes teach in grade schools
Agreed if he does it by example with a woman partner. Otherwise its just hogwash.
Absolutely! At least start clubs in school who utilize these speakers
Its a lesson in miscogyny. You can get that anywhere.
As do most cons.
Best I’ve ever heard and I’ve listened to a lot of these types of videos. Thank you so much for the info ❤ Everything said was perfect!
I love these brothers. They are sooo AWESOME 🤩 I love their dialogue and team work, and not 2 mention their enlightenments ❤🙏🏼
Thank you so much for watching!
At 65 I tuned into the conversation at 100%
And … we are always healing, evolving, be true to never lie to yourself; true honesty is a gift!Open communication and being self assured but vulnerable 😘 everyone deserves love, touch and happiness ❤ cheers
❤
❤
There are a lot of older over 55 - 70s that are getting married or living together can we get better understanding what it is a trend or truth
Couples after 7 years are just together for financial reasons if the love wasn't 💯
This was excellent. I’m 73 and have been longing to hear this wisdom my whole life
Happy you enjoyed it!
I myself as well Sondra. I am in your age range too😃. More videos & content needs to be addressed concerning older adults!! Excellent job Lewis & Stephan🤗🙏🏾💙💚!!!
Wisdom! This is such an important conversation. Thank you!
These are all the exact same things I’ve been explaining to everyone for years now! Especially in my Podcast! This man only validated every thing all over again! Amen!
I feel privileged to have happened upon this conversation. I learned a lot and love how real you both are.
Thank you for giving us older women a nod.
Brilliantly articulated
#Older woman
Yes!! #olderwoman
I refuse to call us “older women”, we are MATURED women. #maturedwoman
@@kawehionalani3957 Like a good red wine;)
They did? I'll have to go find that it's nice to ignore when we get respect for our maturity and its experiences
I found it’s important to fall in love with a man’s character first but also being attracted to them physically. Just having physical attraction is never enough.
What about the opposite? Attracted to his character but not so much physically??
Well that is important but character is not usually revealed in the beginning. What you perceive in the beginning is the person's identity. But if you love him kool, but dont try to build him up if he got a whittle balando but you just like the motion. But also every man has a reserved 3 inches that manifest between ages 30-50. its like a inch more every decade.
A woman's physical attraction can lead to a relationship and sometimes can lead to marriage. There is no cookie cutter remedy to relationships functional or dysfunctional. Pimps do marry Hoes. it happens and they are both happy. It just takes a meeting of the minds to agree and its a done deal. That's the reality.
Understanding + loving the SELF more ❤ Amen !
I'm so glad you said agreement. This is one of my most important values in a relationship. Bravo! More people need to know they should not compromise themselves. But it is a much better relationship when you can be in an agreement with them. That's the beauty of it all.
This hit me hard.. ive chosen wrong my whole life, from not healed from a traumatic childhood in getting in bad relationships over and over.
Stay strong.
same
Good for you tho. Youre here and you're healing. Focus on your progress. 😊
For me..as a woman.
Spiritual.
Intimacy in conversation...a man whom is ok with sharing his emotions or experiences. Beliefs. Values etc..
One of the best episodes ever. Loved listening to your guest, Lewis!!!! 🙏🏼
I cannot tell you enough how much I genuinely appreciate the honesty and openness you both gave in this interview. I am grateful to have learned many things from it. Thank you!
Trust is very important to me as a woman... it is vital to me that the man I am with values me and our relationship more than releasing his physical needs with others. To me, trust is connected to commitment and submission.
I think so too trust is important
Hello guys. Thank you Very Much for this interview, Love your Energy and Information. Blessings, and Best Wishes for you ALL ❤👌🏽✨️
"Certain things need to be established within the purpose." That's good!
I had promised myself to walk away from love. From experience most men that I knew from my adulthood have been liars. I have been able to teach my daughters to be their own security without being manly. Keep yourself safe ❤️
Well said.
In listening to this topic and others like this, it strikes me that total
1. HONESTY, with oneself and with people around. Knowing yourself and being aware.
2. COMMUNICATION, again awareness and honesty and a skill talking to people. Listening to another person and grasping what the other person expresses and understands to a degree.
and
3. The desire to Grow and fulfil one's ambition.
Yes true but you will find out soon enough these are very RARE qualities, especially number 2 Communication. Ì rarely meet people who can Communicate well, especially men.
@@bluelotus9654 and this is because the demand is not for communication, maybe it is for sex.
The issue of being evenly yoked starts and ends with the MIND. Being understood is so satisfying. Communication must be in demand and this skill must cause passage to the next step.
When we can stand on our feet with our clothes on and fully pay attention and understand. Then is when we would make a serious stride!
@@bluelotus9654 Lord, they love that texting crap. & that's it
Ugh, you just keep hitting the nail on the head, over and over! Spot. On.
Stephen you are such a blessing, thank you for being here and speaking my heart ❤️🙏🏼
Submitting to a man you love doesn’t mean he controls you,It means you are aligned with him and you respect him to lead and be the man and play his role and I the woman enjoying being in my skin and play my role by this we all thrive in the relationship fulfilling each other’s dreams,want’s and desires ,this can only be achieved through communication understanding and commitment❤
One last thing; NEVER be an “option”. You’re either the Main dish or you’re nothing. Side dish are people who hate themselves and may be masochistic.
And RESPECT is important; NEVER EVER call each other names or swear at one another.
Oh and pick your battles. Don’t bicker or criticize about EVERYTHING. Everyone’s allowed to have an “off” day.
And, leave each other breathing space; don’t be needy, respect each other’s space and yes, never go to bed angry as anger builds resentment and THAT will mine your relationship/marriage.
I tell you all of this as a recent widow who lost her First Love, her very best Friend and Husband of 31 years.
He was not perfect, neither am I, but we worked well together because we practiced all I talked about in these comments.
That was a long relationship these men out here are so scary. I am from Philadelphia and all I hear about is men killing women that was in relationships with. I just remain single. I been single for 6years too scary out here for me
Everything he says speaks to me. I would never be able to feel the peace that I do without Stephan
What really sticks out to me is The importance of staying in your Masculine and Feminine selves. It can be really hard to stay soft in a hard world and Stephan does such a great job of articulating the need while also acknowledging societal “norms” and expectations.
It really hit home and gives me hope. I will continue to be soft in a world that makes it hard. 😘 thank you for validating all that I felt but did not have the words to articulate ♥️
FIRST OFF. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WAITING UNTIL MARRIAGE TO CONSUMMATE THE RELATIONSHIP. BEING FRIENDS FIRST, BY LEARNING EACH OTHER VALUES. GOALS, DREAMS, AND EXPECTATIONS.
No one said there's anything wrong.
@@dana102083 What??? BOY BYE 👋
You dont need many body count to be married. Have respect for your body not a lot of women value themselves any longer.
"Concencrate" 😂
@@DeshaunDamonIF you look at it in a wordly view then I expect that you would give a wordly response.
This is so exact! I always heard the power in a relationship goes to the person who cares the least. I married a safe man on that philosophy, the safe choice. Empty! No respect! No happiness! Does not work! Love requires vulnerability.
One will always love more than the other in a relationship.
This video was fascinating! Love all you both discussed! So on point!
The healing within yourself- working on implementing this more in my life. Truly believe once this is mastered; you are Ready to Love. Stephan is very knowledgeable about how a woman is wired. Kudos 🥇💐
I just had a divorce from 13 years of marriage. And believe me, I don’t mind the word “submissive” in the context of this conversation. In my marriage, I was the leader, I handled 99% of things (I have 2 kids). It was so excruciating and I lost my self in the relationship. I started to resent almost everything in life.
Anyway, thank you for this conversation. It makes me believe that there are good men out there who understand this kind of harmony of feminine-masculine.
I am sorry to hear that .
I can relate .. 17 yrs felt like im the man and woman at the same time plus verbal abuse..
Pretty hard expectstion on a practical teacher te.peramrnt woman.
Not her authentic self ..she'll.lose out
I understand.
We all have practical assertiveness and emotional empathy . It's called balance of give n take
Speak n listen ability
To take in feel and push out self protect.
And they wonder why girls self harm and don't protect themselves and boys hurt others and elevate self without safety.
We've messed with the natural balance of the mind gor gender expectations.
That's why women older are happier and more confident alone and men not so . And lose feeling for anything.. and women gain confidence after it's been taken away early by not teaching them.skills and ability and to back herself.
Stepping down NEVER teaches confidence.
Opposites attack when under presure
When REAL SPIRITUAL LOVE EXISTS, there is no 50 50. REAL LOVE TAKES CARE OF EVERYTHING. Societies have made difficult to create balance between two living people. ❤
It still is 50 /50..
There is a reason 'Society' does this. They divide groups ei.. families couples, marriages, parents, children, etc.. If you allow yourself to follow the stream, meaning the 'mainstream', commercialized way of living. You have to learn to be your authentic self in order to cope with these adversities. But, never follow them.
I have no fear submitting to man I believe has my best interest as His goal and would never hurt me!!!
I did all the work on myself like Stephan did and that’s when I began teaching others this exact same information. Exact info. Everyone needs to know all of this! Amen! 😁🙏
This is the truth!!! I never went for safe , and many friends think I take big risks! Yes I have -but I have loved and been loved deeply
My second marriage I went for safe. I had just come off a heartbreaking breakup and fell for safe. He cared more for me than I did for him and I wasn't physically attracted to him. I figured that would come later. It never did. Stephan is so right. It's the worst decision to marry a good man you don't really love.
His way of explaining “the differences” between women and man was so good, the intimacy part was so online, and most women would agree with him. I want my man to be masculine, and in control, i want to be vulnerable with him, and if he uses my vulnerability against me, then I made a mistake on my choice to be vulnerable.
The word instead of being “submissive” could be “master the ability to be vulnerable”, it is great to feel peace and safe with a man, I remember when my kids father just to tell me “don’t worry everything will be ok”, and I believe in him, I felt he always find the way to fix everything, and it was not like I was not there to support the “fixing”, it was the confidence of knowing that we were a team.
Great convo you both.. Relationship essentials really.
These are great advices, thanks so much!
Some of us from childhood didn't have good role models. Trauma of different kinds, to both men and women. Needs healing and to see and know people who have healthy relationships. This is inspiring thank you for sharing.
Exactly, happened to me too.
Everything we allow into our sphere if influence has an affect on the relationships we have with others. While no one chooses the family they are born into, there comes a point when we need to be discerning about what we allow in. The earlier in life we ''catch up,' and are onto that which will result in unhealthy relationships, the better. Unfortunately, some are so far gone in their deceptions that all we can do is go our separate way, and wish them the best.
This is my first exposure to Stephan. I definitely resonated with his words! Thanks Lewis!!
This is such an awesome conversation. Thank you for sharing it.
Don't lose yourself trying to please someone! Achieve your goals & help her also and don't neglect yourself/ your dreams! ! 💜🙏
The "dating down" piece Stephan spoke on is 100% FACTS!!! When the attraction isn't strongly there that's when power gets abused and how partners get taken for granted
Amen! Yep, I think its a control thing. Some people like to be in Control and others are always the Victim. Some are comfortable with that dynamic. It's all about 'Comfort' what and who are you comfortable with. But, also like stephan states what may be 'Comfortable' now may not be as 'Comfortable' later. I think he said 'Safe'. There is a distinct difference between 'Comfort and Safe' But, that said that's when the person you were comfortable with was not genuine from the start.
Stephan is sooo good.
You guys make a good team.
I have been listening to Stephan for two years now. I do admire his knowledge he is blessed with that relationship skill. You are a blessing Stephan. Keep going Thank you
Most people settle for a partner just to be in a relationship but in the long run it doesnt work out. Personally i have come to understand that my spiritual compatibility with my male counterpart is first even ahead of physical attraction. Its also important to be able to communicate honestly and to listen to each other so there can be deep understanding. I really appreciate your insights.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 🧡
Beautifully stated. Your Mr. Right is on the way.
With the porn, these days, I think most men have lost their spiritual way,or priority. They have to consider utilizing that great sexual energy to encourage more spirituality. Learn to circulate and transmute that energy, channel it and give the woman his heart energy, eye contact, oral sex and creativity. We desire a multifaceted man.
I totally agree!! Spiritual connecting is vital. I feel we should not submit first. We should always have good character & behave godly but we are to use discernment.
“Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces” (Matthew 7:6)
A person can behave appropriately yet not submit. During the dating phase if the man has earned trust then you submit. If he or she has not then you don't. Submission is I accept you vision for our life because you are honorable and I trust you. It is not given to everyone just because. (This is a copy of an earlier comment I made)
I believe spiritual compatibility is very important ,but how do you know that the Man is being honest about his beliefs,because He wants to make you think that He also believes like you to get you drawn in and you think wow He believes just like me
• I would not date down. I'd rather be alone forever.
• "Being his most confident, masculine self" is a good answer.
• I love the therapeutic third-party idea and relationship checkpoints.
• Trust and communication are essential-allowing space for non-judgemental conversations is critical for both.
• Stephan's view of economics is spot-on!
• Like-mindedness in faith and spirituality is probably the MOST critical aspect (IMHO). It's the glue that binds.
• Marriage is a commitment between 3: God, Man, and Woman. If one is missing, it won't work long-term.
• Peace is also something I believe well-adjusted women need too.
• I get something new from this video every time I listen-great job guys! So much of what you say is a two-way street, not just on the man's end.-
• Submissive-reciprocal is the word I'd hear.
• The Bible explains it best-Ephesians 5:22-33 (it's reciprocal and gender based) Women are to be submissive, men are to love their wives, both are to view each other as one.
22
Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord.r
23
For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body.s
24
As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.
25
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for hert
26
to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word,u
27
that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.v
28
So [also] husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29
For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church,
30
because we are members of his body.w
31
“For this reason a man shall leave [his] father and [his] mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.”x
32
This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.y
33
In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.