‘No going out, no crying’: Hong Kong ‘pui yuet’ nannies support new mums with traditional routine
Vložit
- čas přidán 16. 09. 2022
- Subscribe to our CZcams channel for free here:
sc.mp/subscribe-youtube
The first month after a woman gives birth is often difficult and exhausting. Many cultures have post-birth traditions intended to make it easier for new mums and to help in their recovery. In Hong Kong, many new mothers still practise a generations-old tradition of hiring a confinement nanny - a woman tasked with taking care of both mother and child in what is known as the “sitting month”.
Related story:
No crying, AC, screen time: welcome to your Chinese post-partum confinement sc.mp/6jqs
Support us:
subscribe.scmp.com
Follow us on:
Website: www.scmp.com
Facebook: / scmp
Twitter: / scmpnews
Instagram: / scmpnews
Linkedin: / south-china-morning-post
#scmp #SCMPOriginals #Wellness
Ahhhh we love seeing Carol spread her love for babies. Saw her in Taylor R’s video and she’s amazing 😻
Ohhh I thought it was her but wasn’t sure! Thanks for confirming haha
Yes, I agree to having someone like this nanny or a caring mother to help out after the birth of a baby. Some may think, ahh what they are cooking to nourish and doing to restore the health of a mother who just gave birth, are old wives tale! As a mother of two children, I had different experiences regarding the afterbirth of my children. The first one, I went to live with my parents. Everything I ate and how my personal hygiene was done was according to tradition. I regained my health and energy 100%. After 13 years, I had my second one, had a bath the next day, went to work on the 5th day. My health declined and I am still suffering from depression.
Physical conditions also plays a factor, you body 13 years later will not heal as fast as it did when you were younger
Please seek help or talk to someone soon. Take care!
Dont think it is to do with showering, maybe age, 13 years of looking after a child, lack of help, and going back to work where it is not colleague's job to look after your mental health as you are paid to do a job.
@@evama6348 thanks. I had therapy for 2 years. Am Alright in many ways but sometimes, I still find myself doing odd behaviors.
@@boop9430 I agree and I remember my Mom (Asian of course) telling me, look after yourself well. Dont
Do this and that As you may end up suffering many aches and pains when you get older. Am now in my Sixties and sure enough, Am suffering… this pain and that pain. 👌
My wife is Chinese and we live in China. When our daughter was born we hired a yue sao (same thing as in the video but they are speaking Cantonese). It was the best thing we could have done! Really made a huge difference.
My yue sao when I was born (also Chinese) was my grandma 😂 I had my family take care of me
any mom I'm any country would love this!! just cost way to much for most so it's not an option
@@chadbailey189 This nanny probably cost more than 50,000 HK dollars for 2 months.
The baby not crying already said a lot about the nanny
@@_Meng_Lan I had a nanny too when I was a kid, back then they were extremely cheap.😂
Kids will cry. Doesn't mean you're a bad parent if you let your kids cry.
The baby is like •0•
👁👄👁
i'd pay thousands of dollars to hire someone like her.
I think Carol is one of the famous post portam Nannie..I have seen many of the CZcamsrs hiring her and she does it so well and smoothly.
Yea I saw her in Taylor’s videos
I first heard about this by watching vlogger Taylor R who did this after she gave birth this year. It was amazing to see and she vlogged lots of detailed info! She isn't chinese, but her husband is... she wanted to do this and she loved it!
It's Carol! Taylor R' s confinement nanny. She is really famous in Hong Kong from what Taylor said.
@@FeedMeGoodChefNunu she is AMAZING!! I loved how she focused on both baby & mother ❤️
Same here 😂 !
In ancient times, family and relatives live together that sometimes your whole complex is your relatives&distant relatives. Thus, events like the birth of new clan member always means the women on the whole neighborhood helping the new mother to care for the baby.
It's true not just for Chinese, but for all races and nations.
So it makes sense if new mother of modern era also receive helps from professional caretaker. It's not about spoiling the mother- it's just modern take of ancient practice where female relatives of a new mom helping her to learn the ropes of motherhood at least for the first few months.
You have no idea what was done "in ancient times."
@@johnsmith1474 and you do? 14+ people already agreed that I do know, compared to your zero thumb up. Hahah.
I agree with you ...in India also the entire family ( around 30/40 people) used to take care of the baby in ancient days .
Still the case many regions in the world. I am from an African country, my friend just gave birth and her mum moved in to assist and many women friends and family come to assist. They bring food, help clean take care of the baby etc. It feels amazing (she says🤣)
Sad that you can't see the father anywhere around..
It was sad that this was her last week in the home she fit in so well. She was such an important part of this baby and mother's new life together
In Nigeria, the ibos have this culture where the mum does not go out immediately after birth. She stays at home and is cared for by her mom or mother in law. We call it omugwo, moms stay up to 3 months caring for the new mom and baby. She is given herbal drinks and soups. Her tummy is worked upon. Baby is cared for. Christians don't take their babies to church for baptism/dedication until after 3 months. New moms need this sit at home time. Very important.
That is very interesting, and a wonderful tradition. I'm in the US, California, and less than 24 hours of birthing my children I was sent home. My first child was a premie, and most of the information I got in caring for him was through research on the computer. This was back in the early 90's, so the internet wasn't what it is now. Each of my three births were so different from the other, that I was constantly researching what to do. If any of mine, now all young adults in their 20's, ever have children I will seek this out for them and their partners. No matter the cost, the help and caring is priceless.
This sounds very similar to the pui yuet. They also do the tummy wrapping to help the abdomen recover.
It's so interesting seeing some of the tradicional routine! I didn't know about most of these things... it's great learning about other cultures.
It's a very Asian thing. Most places in Asia follow a 40 days / 2 months of total rest & support to new mothers .Diet with special foods is an integral part of this period .
I have enjoyed it so much and this should be recommended to anyone that can afford it. Man if you can get a Nanny like this one it's actually winning the lottery. Did you notice how the new mum was glowing? Beautiful 🥰❤️
This is amazing. I had an emergency c section, but I didn't have any help afterwards. I'm all for helping a new mother!
I think this is a wonderful idea. It gives the new mother a chance to rest and recharge and to get used to being a mother and to heal.
It's great that these nannies specialise to help in this manner. I've always thought that letting the mother bear it all from the start was not so natural.
However having such nannies means that nowadays, we don't have family and a closed community as a strong support system enough to be of daily help, and that's a shame.
Individuality have made us live like this (at least in Europe where I'm from) and I don't believe it's the better choice.
In my country (Zimbabwe) it used to be a tradition that new mothers would go back to their parent's house for help with the baby for a few weeks.. The husband would 'pay' by giving gifts etc and visit
Africa does have problems.
We have similar customs for new moms at India, for the first week or so after getting home, there is a vigil over new mom and baby, they are not left alone. Then confinement starts, which is basically just eating food with medicinal & high nutritive value, getting massages, resting, not speaking loudly, and bonding with the baby. Post partum depression is real though, the hormones, the emotions. We do have specialist nannies for this, but for those who can't afford.. U have grandmas and relatives. I used to work at a maternity hospital and it was shocking to see foreigner new moms so active & mobile the day after giving birth, it was awe inspiring, but now I think there is a price to pay of not taking it slow.
Even tho I never plan to have kids I agree with you. Having surgery or child birth is trauma to your body. They need to heal and rest and taking care of a baby right after your body went thru all that is a lot
i wish america was like this. All of my relatives work and can not help. It was so hard doing it alone, my partner works so did not understand my struggles.
Most of the practises in India are actually patriarchal and don’t help mom in the long run though it keeps he trapped in a man’s family and she has to life with entire man’s family which is completely stressful for a woman let alone new mother. If you have a natural birth you can get up and move around the day after you have a baby. “Foreign” mums become mature and caretaker/ mother role immediately after birth. We don’t see birth as something our family teaches us, that would be considered shameful and embarrassing as it’s our own child. We also often have no help from our families after birth only from husband and that’s minimal help and a health nurse/ doctor once a week for 6 weeks after birth. That’s it apart from friends/ family support thru the phone, doctor visits. We don’t need it we do it ourself and we are strong.
@@Bunny11344 most don’t have surgery natural birth is not a surgery
In India most women get a c section and live with the man’s family so they are stuck with no other option than to let “them help” which is usually them control the poor women into a bad mental health crisis anyway. And what is that about not speaking loudly? What a joke. It’s all for men and mens family. A woman speaking loudly doesn’t affect the baby at all because baby gets used to it’s mothers voice
Isnt she the woman from Taylor channel? Her work ethic and practice looked incredible!!!
That’s where I saw her on, thanks for reminding me lol
Yes! She is gorgeous!
If you need them I think these specialist nanies are extremely important and I think they should be more available in The Western World too. Post-partum depression is very REAL and particularly if the mother has had an extremely difficult birth or has lost a lot of blood then it can be quite common to have post-partum depression. In the city I live there has been a couple of cases of high acheieving and very popular female doctors who during the birth process have lost natural calming chemicals of the brain and they have gone on to harm their babies. People assume that because they are so clever and can work in high pressure jobs that these women can handle anything but in some cases women lose the calming chemicals in their brain after they give birth and ater a ew years the natural chemicals will return to the brain but in the meant time the mother can be quite vunerable and unsafe around her baby. Husbands and close relatives really need to notice this and if the new mom says she is not coping then people really have to listen......If there is no specialist naninies in some countries then the baby need to stay with relatives when the father is at work and the mother needs to seek psychological help immediately for her saety and the saety of her baby.
But why those chemicals stops to get produced ?
@@btsarmy1520 I'm no expert but I'm guessing 1. it's all the stress they go through from the birth and then it causes the brains calming messages to be ignored or not even registered because of the impact that stress has on the brain.
My coworkers are I aren’t even pregnant and we have so much anxiety depression and stress just trying to survive and work etc dealing with ppl can be so draining
If these nannies graduated nursing and has other certificates, she'd be so expensive.
I love this tradition.
When I was born, my mother hired a nanny to care for her during her confinement. I still remember being in contact with that nanny up to my teens.
Aww that’s so motherly and homely :’)
The mom is so pretty..,n the baby is so cuteeee!
They're ok
I would expect her services don't come cheap, and the people who hire her services are well to do.
Bless all these ladies
Carol is a legend
I saw Carol in Taylor’s vlog channel …..you are amazing carol
Oh, my gosh, Im 42 and I want her to be my nanny. 😆 I have been a licensed child care provider, teacher & mother throughout all/most of my adulthood. I have been surrounded by children throughout all of my life. I am the oldest grand daughter from a large family & was taught to care for my siblings & little cousins throughout my growing years & often babysat neighborhood children.
I will never understand why American pediatricians encourage parents to put their newborn baby in its own room, bed, etc and to let him/her "cry it out". No animal in nature does that. Any infant seperate from its mother would die. I understand the risks of suffocation, SIDS, etc but there are ways to co-sleep safely & some research suggests that co-sleeping actually helps to prevent SIDS. An infant in my family generations ago died of SIDS and my friends baby died of SIDS about 10 years ago. Both babies slept on their own away from parents. Very sad.
Ill never forget the day a pediatrician tried to discourage me from co-sleeping with my breastfeeding newborn baby. The doctor said, "independence is an important part of our culture". 🤨 Thats not how babies work or how most cultures around the world treat their infants. "The Family Bed" is a sacred thing. Babies need responsive caregivers to help them develop secure attachments & to feel safe in the world, etc. No mammal puts its young in a far off place to sleep by itself! Mothers/parents rest better with baby near. A well rested mother is a healthier mother & can better care for her infant.
Babies often cry when their mother is no longer in sight. Its as if there is something instinctual in babies that knows mother must be near. Letting an infant scream creates an anxious child & is bad for digestion & stressful for the childs nervous system. Any adult who can recall what its like to cry really hard for 5+ minutes would understand that. The last few times I grieved, I thought Id die of a heart attack. And people do.
Yes, sometimes crying is helpful (to clear the lungs or alert an adult to injury, etc.) but usually is not & is preventable with an attentive caregiver.
My 3rd child was non-verbal for the first 4 years of life. He never even cried when he was born. I have a video of the hospital nurses saying, "I dont know, this baby just doesnt cry." He talks my ear off now, but I had to pay very close attention to his non verbal cues when he was an infant and toddler. A baby that doesnt cry could easily be neglected in the wrong hands. No parent is perfect but we can all strive to be better than what we are, or at least not worse. I hope everyone is thoughtful about the choices they make for their children. If I knew 20+ years ago what I know now...I would have cleaned less & snuggled more & cared less about the opinions of those who werent there to help love & care for my children.
✨This woman is a Godsend. I hope & pray that all babies & new Mommys/families are blessed with a love like that.
Beautiful video. Thank you for sharing!
💖🙏🏼🤗
Mother is so beautiful!
This is so absolutely beautiful, and practical at the same time. I wish there had been something like this when I was having mine.
Such a wonderful nanny
Honestly, bottling emotions isn't healthy. If you feel like crying, then cry.
In Asian culture, exteriorizing emotions is not well view.
American women using crying as a form of manipulation and extortion.
Plus when has a lot of crying achieved anything.
No you don’t want to bottle your emotions but crying isn’t solving the problem.
Babies have to cry because they can’t tell you what’s wrong or what they want.
Try using your words instead of crying like a baby.
@@MsTemptation Yet when we show no emotion and act stoic we get labeled a frigid 🐝can't win either way.
@@MsTemptation Ridiculous. Humans are born with emotions, why pretend not to have them if you don't have to? Having feelings doesn't render you brain dead.
@@MsTemptation Crying is a normal part of human expression. People should be sincere about how they feel not placate to how someone wants them to appear
Within the first second i was like I KNOW HER!
Very very Beautiful video. The Nanny Looking Like a real Mother👩👩👩👩
Ok.. I had my mother care for me for almost six months postpartum.. That too in times of covid.. I am ever grateful to her for that.
I wish they had something like this in Germany, but here even the situations in the hospital are sometimes very scary, because of lack of staff!
Bei mir ist früher die Hebamme gekommen.
Ok, wow the mom looks amazing for only 2 months postpartum. The nanny must be doing everything right to take care of her and the baby.
I learned about confinement nannies a few years ago. There are several schools of thought on it. I think all new moms would benefit from some time to bond with a new child, relieved some coaching on newborn care and not have to worry about pushing grocery carts and run errands...
A youtuber I watched hired one of these nannies, and I'm sold , I believe everything in this video
even though i dont have a baby lol
I wish these were available everywhere!
These confinement Nannies are extremely important
You are not popular anymore ray mark give up on commenting
@@sanjikicksofficial ok bro ..
What I would have given to have someone like that! ❤
I was so lucky my mother was a midwife nursing-sister and a matron nurse at a children's hospital. The help is really needed as a new mother. My mother and I never got along, but I could trust her with helping me when I had my babies.
Emocionados alegres y felices que aquí estamos
Aunque parezca increíble... lo que dices no es bueno.
I had my first baby last year and I had a c section and trust me I did everything on my own, my recovery was fast even the doctors were shocked to how quickly my body healed.
That is very interesting, and a wonderful tradition. I'm in the US, California, and less than 24 hours of birthing my children I was sent home. My first child was a premie, and most of the information I got in caring for him was through research on the computer. This was back in the early 90's, so the internet wasn't what it is now. Each of my three births were so different from the other, that I was constantly researching what to do. If any of mine, now all young adults in their 20's, ever have children I will seek this out for them and their partners. No matter the cost, the help and caring is priceless.
Yey Carol! Saw her from Taylors vlog 😄
This was( and still is in some parts pf the world) traditionally the role of the wife's or husband's mother/grandmother/experienced village woman. Its sad that now we have to pay for being assisted by strangers but at the same time it's better than being just on your own.
I remember Carol from Taylor's channel!
I want such nanny after giving birth🙂
Yes… This is completely common and realistic for every family in hk, very natural and affordable…
It's very common in all Asian cultures. But most won't hire nannies. Rather their moms will do it for them. In India, as soon as the Pregnant lady reaches 7th month or so, she leaves for her mom's house. There full care is given. It is why a lot of us are born in our hometowns rather than the places we marry to. Cause our moms will take better care of us and the newborn is also well cared for. Nutritious meals made specifically for new moms is fed. The diet is unique and regular people don't consume it. It is cooked with medicinal herbs.
I'd have loved a Carol after both of the births of my babies.
子供たちの世話をしている女性は私の心を温めます!!
Women 🤪
In my country in Scandinavia we stay home at least 10 months but most of us stay longer. I loved to be home with my babies for three years, and with the second I stayed home two years. Would never ever in million years have put my babies in child-care before at least two years old. Today, with the knowledge I have, I would wait until they are three years old.
How much should pay for the nanny service? The mum looks super rich. :-P
I think its not cheap. The new born mum is whealty. Normal houses in Hong Kong is very small. This is a very big house.
In the USA, women are sent home 24 hours after vaginal birth and up to 72 hours after c-sect. We need this care for our new moms.
Wow as it should be
Who knows Carol from Taylor R's videos :))
Caroll, I saw her in taylor r video, miss you
in Poland maternity leave is 20 weeks for woman fully paid, after this parental leave for mother or father fully paid by state the salary they had before.
This is the latest professional job with many confinement centres mushrooming in our major cities in Malaysia.
In India, you don't need to hire anyone. You have grandparents both maternal and paternal. Giving months of rest to a new mum is a tradition in Indian homes.
C'est super pour la maman et le bébé
I need this both birth experiences I wish I had help because you really get overwhelmed and every baby is different my first he was easy and is still a claim understanding kid this second child is more demanding which becomes overwhelming
i want this kind of job .... i love babies...
the nanny got youtube channel to share share? 🤩🤩🤩👍👍👍👍
TAYLOR R here on CZcams used this exact confinement Nannie! If you want more information go watch here volgs with Carol!
Before hiring the nanny, you need to have the money. Their service is not cheap - my cousin hired one for his wife for two months - RM 3,000 per month (that was the price 5 years ago in Malaysia). At that time, our minimum wage was RM 900. You will also need to provide lodging, food, transport if needed and also they will work only 8 hours a day, no overtime.
She helped Taylor!!
Beautiful 💕❤️ baby
Interesting vlog
any confinement lady recommendation at tangerang, Indonesia?
How much does it cost to hire nanny in HK?
This is probably a chinese culture, here in South east Asia, they also hire confinement nanny for the 1st mth, to help take care of the baby, clean and make nourishing meals for the mum. So the mum can focus on recovery and let how to care for the baby from the nanny as well
I would hire a confinement nanny if I afford to.. took a toll on physical and emotional on long term.. I just finally get properly back on my feet after a while.. though its a little too late since I getting older..
Малыш😍😘🥰
This is BEAUTIFUL and how a Mother is supposed to be treated though I am disappointed that most Mothers no matter their advantage will refuse their precious infant breastmilk.
Sometimes you can’t because work or there’s a common condition where anytime you breastfeed you feel incredibly depressed due to a fault in it brains hormones.As long as the baby is fed that’s what’s matters
@@di7209 I do not agree that that is what matters as an absolute priority. I am John’s Wife and I wrote the original post. There are exceptions and they do not abound. Work should not ever take priority over a vulnerable infant. If a Woman wants to make work the priority she does not have to give birth to someone who has a Right to breastmilk and to be nurtured and actually cared for. I nursed our child for the requisite two years with no formula at all and only breastmilk on demand for the first six months. I am extremely educated but if I decide to give birth I will prepare accordingly and make my child and their future the absolute priority instead of making lame excuses and living a life of selfishness where I deny my own self of a beautiful irreplaceable experience.
Agreed.
@@di7209 interesting since breastfeeding does the opposite. breastfeeding benefits mommy as well because the let down reflex is happening because of oxytocin aka cuddle hormone. a great neurotransmitter that reduces uterine hypertropy during pregnancy and helps mom's mental state. it MAY also delay ovulation which serves a contraceptive function but it is not 100%. colostrum is a must for the baby. so if mommy gives nothing else. make sure the baby gets that colostrum and like express the milk and store it.
@@johnnypham2850 work is a priority for a lot of women, because children need money and their mothers should work hard to provide enough money for them.
The baby not crying already said "hummm...hope this apartment isnt rented"
She lucky to have Pui Yuet or Nanny for her confinement. I had 3 kids but we cannot afford hiring a confinement lady. My mother in law, grandma in law & hubby helps out during these time. I wonder it cost her to employ the HK Pui Yuet?
this is why you need an asian mum that knows everything about having a new born babe
I believe in Igbo culture in Nigeria they do something similar where the mothers mom or dad's mom comes and stay with the mother to help with the mom's & infants needs, and housekeeping etc. I want this when I have a baby.
What a privilege 👏 👌
Wow 😄😍
In my country (Pakistan) new moms usually have their mom over, even before the birth as well.
I want to hire her just as a chef, no babies but that food looks delicious
I saw this nanny in Taylor's R vlog
Is this filmed in hong kong? The house is like the western style
Carol!
Hey that's Taylor's nanny!
If you could obtain a masters in mothering this woman would have a phd
These aready quit a long time practice for malaysia chinese..however the are after labour hospital also provided
Aw it's carol!
Is the baby not allowed to cry or the mother?
M living in Nz really Got A nanny Is Winning a lottery..But Fortunately we have Nani. Daadi at home To lookafterus and our kids..To give them warmth. N affection
Hey, she is the one who took care of Taylor's baby
Does she live with them?
Ahh Taylor's nanny
The confinement, not taking sour foods, lots of veges and soups, massage, bath everything is the same as in South India. Exactly the same I am amazed about the similarities in culture
Почему без русских субтитров??
Alot of indonesian chinese still follow the confinement rules and we can hire confinement lady, too, to help up with the babies. Mommybjust have to sleep, eat and breastfeed for one month.
This is also common for us Chinese in Singapore! I didn't hire one but I did hire a helper instead. Many mums here practise these traditional customs (eating specific food/wearing sleeved clothes/not bathing) but I find them very depressing and unhygienic so I skipped most of them for both pregnancies. To each their own!
Of course u can't take a full bath even after 3 days until ur cesarean section wound healed a bit after a week to avoid infection. Maybe u are talking about normal delivery.
@@pamelagarlito7149 I had 2 C sections and I was given the go ahead to take a full bath for both times, which I did on the second day (:
You can also hire postpartum nannies in the US for about $8000 a month.
Really 😩