HOST FAMILY RED FLAGS | Au Pair Advice
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- čas přidán 27. 11. 2021
- #AmericaninParis #AmericaninFrance #AuPairLife
Thinking about becoming an Au Pair? Here's some advice I wish I had when finding a host family, and the red flags to look out for when you're on your own search!
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Definitely choose the family over the location! My experience was: Big city, worst families, want a cleaner (not childcare). Countryside, normal welcoming families, who really introdused me to everyone they were related to or friends with, and wanted me to actually babysit.
i’m considering going back for another au pair year and if i do i’m definitely choosing a smaller city where i can have a great family!!
@@TylahAli 👍 Worth it! If I could re-do my year, I would not go to the city, I would save up money so that I can spend it on train tickets and some weekends on aibnb or something, in the city. The family is everything!
This is so difficult for me because yes im taking into consideration what my family is like but location is up the list because of my dreams i dont know 😭😭😭😭
@@Khanyi101 Make a pros and cons list!
it depends....
I will say as a host family myself, those who come into this for cheap care are sorely mistaken. It’s $20,000 a year plus room and board and other expenses it comes to closer to $35,000. This is a cultural exchange, childcare is just a component.
why paying so much? That's insane.
@@lulumink0 u dont get it, an au pair is literally the cheapest option they have for a "nanny" the diference with the salary is huge, a normal babysister in US is offering her services for aprox 24 - 30 dollars per hour and sometimes the prices can increase bcz of the number of kids they have to look for, etc. Meanwhile an au pair salary is aprox 3 to 4 dollars per hour. If you think about it is a win win, from the au pair side as well for the host family.
There are A LOTTTT of red flag families and we will NOT be ignoring them luv xx
GREEN FLAG FAMILIES ONLY 2021 AND ONWARDS
I would like to be au pair how can l do from Kenya
@@lilianmutimba8245 hey girl,did you know how to go about it?
No
@@TylahAli It's fine to ask for a video where u describe yourself ??? I mean it's safe to do that ? Thanks already
I love your videos!!! Thank you for all your tips! Im 23 and have been thinking about moving to Paris for a while. I just want to do it and have the experience while I’m still young. I’m going out there next month for a short vacation and I’m so excited. Your videos are so helpful ❤️
Hey, long time no see !
Everytime I hear you talk about your experience in my country I can’t help but feel happy that in general you had a wonderful time time there and that working as an au pair you had enough free time to discover Paris by yourself.
I spent 1 year in the States after I graduated from High-School and I can tell I returned to France much more mature than I was when I left.
My dad’s first job was a military, so by the time he met my mom he had already lives on 3 different continent, so he knew how positive an experience it is to get to be in close contact with different cultures.
My mom was more reluctant to see me live, which I somehow consider a normal : what if I were to me the wrong kind of people ? What I decided to remain in the US and never go to college ?
It would be kind of difficult for me to find a proper explanation to this, but I can assure you that when I attended college, I could see that I was a better student than if I been straight from high-school to college. The whole learning process was easier for me than it was for my fellow students. I even did things I don’t thing I would have done had I remained in France, like volunteering at the university library one day a week.
A personal advice : the farther away from home you spend your year abroad the better it is. You will get homesick from time to time in the beginning but when your hometown is at let’s say a 9/16 hour flight distance, you can’t say “oh that’s it, I’m going home tomorrow”. And that somehow teaches you that serious decisions deserve some serious thinking in life, and also there are things that patience : a good path toward adulthood (my grandma would always tell me : “Stef, getting to become and adult is all about managing one’s frustrations”😉.
Also, living abroad for a year brings you something that’s priceless (at least, this is what happened to me) : you get to know who you are + what you do and what you don’t want from life.
I think this is basically how this worked for you. Of course, I had no personal interactions with you during you stay : what I know from you is what you let us see through your videos.
Nonetheless, I have the feeling I gradually watched you turn into a fine and independent young woman 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
the croisant earing!! i love them!
I have loved how true you have said it gal
i love the way you convey it, it's very easy to understand, thank you so much. i'm 15 and want to become an au pair one day💗💗💗
thank you for watching! if you become an au pair, which country would you like to live in?
this was soooo helpful!! this is a huge possibility for me after graduating college, and I appreciate it so much ❤
so happy it was a help!! best of luck ☺️
ma'am you are glowinggg! I've thought about being an au pair, but how did you tell your parents/loved ones that you wanted to do this? It seems like a great way to see the world but kinda scary too 😭
the first thing my mom said to me when i told her i wanted to go to france was "you're gonna end up like that movie Taken," lol! but thankfully she's always been supportive of me trying new things. it's a super common thing abroad, so many do it! any new adventure is scary, it's all about taking the leap and being fearless. and if you don't like it, you can always come home!
I learn what a au pair was in under 15 mins, never even heard of it at first
Hey there . I ended up here cause I wanna help out my sister . She just moved to Germany to be Aupair to what it seems a lovely family. She is just one week into being with the kids ( 3 in total , a baby a toddler and a kid) and the host mum told my sister her level of german isn’t “enough “to communicate with the kids and that she needs to be more extroverted with the kids ( my sister is an introvert but no at all shy or antisocial) . It’s very weird because she hasn’t started German classes yet she learned German (A1) back home in order to be there and now the host mum is demanding her more skill languages isn’t that the point of the au pair thing? My sister starts German clases next month and they told her she needs to be available the whole day in the mean time to get more use to the three kids , apparently they told her she is not gonna be capable of handling taking care of the kids and going to class ( strange 😐)again isn’t that the point of au pair . Do they need a nanny instead? The host father also put on the cards the possibility of getting my sister a new family . So assume they do not want her . My sister is self conscious of her level of German and is very sad about it. Do you think she should change families? I really dislike the fact that the host mum judged her language skills so early, my sister also told me the lady doesn’t speak to my sister in german anymore and only does it in English. Definitely not cool. Help plz 😢
Hi! thanks for reaching out and I totally sympathize with your sister and I am sorry that she is in that situation! I definitely think that if she is only one week into it that she needs to change families. They definitely look like they want a nanny and not an au pair. they should be willing and trying to help her with her German since that’s the point of her being there, it is a cultural exchange, and right now it looks like only she is doing the exchange part. it can be intimidating to change families, but I think that it would be worth it especially since it’s early on, and there are other families that would actually give her a great experience!!
Stoppppp the croissants!!!!! So cute
Loved this video 😍
Thank you, we are about to get our first Au Pair, I hope to be a great host mom!
Wishing you all the best in this exciting experience! And thank you for watching!
@jaxtaylor9082 have u got one already.?My 18year daughter is readily available. Thank you
I'm looking for an Au Pair in New Jersey. We are a great fun and loving family that need someone for the week days only. You will have your weekends free.
I’m interested if it has visa sponsorship 😊 please contact me
Have you been able to get one? If no, please am very much interested
Am interested dear
I wanna hear more about your difficulties! I'm having my own experience right now and my own doubts.
Kissies!
Hi there! Message me on insta @tylahali and we can chat :)
Hi I recently got a family on Facebook they connected me to their agency ( Agent au pair Inc ) and they offered to pay half of the fees the agency requires which is nice but now am freaking out , because I don’t want them to be scammers
I just looked up “Agent aupair Inc” and it has horrible reviews and says it’s a scam!! A good free place is AupairWorld but it’s not an agency
Hey ....want to ask if you do chores as an au pair ?? Like cooking , cleaning , washing ??
Please guys , what's the difference between an Au pair and nanny?
I was thinking of doing Au pair - but I am really into Church & wonder about lots of things 🤔
😂😂😂
Hi , which agency did you use and what is the age limit ?
Omg you lucked out on ur host family
Hey, what agencies can I use???
I was wondering what the visa process was? I really wanna do this but i’m worried since it’s such a scaaaary thing
hey! did you get a certificate of basic knowledge of french before you went with them? i really hope it's not necessary, i am willing to learn french
honestly nothing but general verbs! i took french in high school but nothing was really transferrable hahaha. just try to do duolingo for the basics beforehand!
I'm trying to become an au pair in america through an agency and currently going through a rough time, trying to find and match with a family. With this agency, the families have to contact me first so I don't have a lot of options :( I've only video chatted three families so far and I started looking end of July!!! And currently only one of those families are still an option. I don't how I feel about this family though. I have only talked to the mother and she gave me bad vibes but idk if anything she said was a red flag. That's why I watched this video. She talked about the flexibility thing and it seemed very unclear exactly what my day to day routine would look like. She didn't seem interested in spending time with me on the weekends because she said she relaxes on the weekends and she wants me to explore and have fun in my spare time and not just stay at home. She also talked a lot about chores like, dishes, laundry, trash, cooking dinner and so on which is fine but she almost talked more about that than actually babysitting the kids. I'm very confused cause I think the age of the kids is perfect, and there's only two, and I love the location but I'm afraid to choose this family as a last resort because I'm tired of waiting to match with a family. And as it's looking now I probably won't leave till January 2024 even though my plan was September 2023. I don't know what to do. I feel helpless. I like having an agency as support but I wish I could look at the families as well and reach out to them.
I think the family you talked to is definitely a red flag, the fact that she talked more about the chores than everything else shows that she’s probably looking for someone to do a lot of work rather than a nicer Aupair experience. I understand how you feel
Thank you for confirming. That’s also kind of the conclusion I came to. I didn’t talk more to that family but I just recently matched with a different family and I’m so excited!!
@@cathrinevinholt3086Yay I’m so excited for you. I’m also just registering on the website and pray to find a family as soon as possible 😊
That is so exciting! I wish you the best experience. Are you also going to the US or somewhere else?@@val_flower
@@cathrinevinholt3086hello darling which agency are u in ?
which agency are you in?
Hey, I want to know more about this Au Pair world, since I have graduated from University now. Firstly, I want to ask what should we do when we got into a difficult family and they are treating us poorly, can we change family or we are just going back to our home country? if we choose to change family can we do it quickly? the second thing is about pocket money, is the pocket money that they give will be enough to cover all our expanses or do wee need to do a second job? I actually still have so many questions but I don't think rambling in your comment section will be wise, so that's it from me. I hope you'll answer me thanks Tylah!
Hi! thanks for watching! First off if you get into a situation with a difficult family, you can definitely change your families, I have had many friends change families, and it doesn’t seem like it is that hard of a process! As for pocket money, I went with savings that helped me for travel and weekend expenses. I also taught english lessons on weekends for the kids in my neighborhood which also gave me extra pocket money! Feel free to ask any more questions you have :)
@@TylahAli omg thank you so kuch for answering. Okay I'll ask you again haha. With the AuPairWorld is it safe? I mean if there's something where should we report to? Because you know with AuPairWorld we do everything ourselves. And then do you have any tips on how to get a host family? Maybe how do you reach out to them, how your profile should look like to make it easy for us to her a host family. Thank you!
@@itsmeirish4450hello darling
Are u n aupair now ? I have used this website and i would live to chat with u
For cultural care, the limit is 45 hours and this is on their website. Is it different for other agency ?
Yes it’s different per country, my legal limit in france was 25-30 hours I believe
How can I become an AU PAIR?
what were your working hours like when you were an au pair?
I worked in the morning from 7 to 8:30 in the afternoon from 4 to 7! Wednesday’s I was with one of the children for the whole day since French children don’t go to school on Wednesday
is it normal for the host to ask for your number to discuss further about anything you need to within the first few messages or could that be a scam?
this is normal!
Please help me get work as a nanny abroad please 🙏🙏🙏
OMG i wish i saw this earlier
girll what happened
Where U from?
Oh wow the agency I went to says 45 hours a week max.
oh wow!! maybe it depends on the country? it changed a few years ago in france from 30 to 25
45 hours is full time employment and you need full work visa...this is not au pair situation but slavery! Run!
In the united states you have to work up to 45 hours but in Europe it is way less
i pretend be au pair in EUA, i from Brazil
Did u learnt he language ?
She said she took it in high school but she just got i guess freshened by using duolingo
And is it okay to tell the host family that I wanna live in my apartment with my own money, not their money, and I'll be in their home just at the time of work
is it possible?
This is a great question!!! Is that a possibility? I would love to have an Au pair, but I don’t have the space in my home. I can’t really afford to move right now either (not with these housing prices 😩)
How can we contact you in private please !
instagram tylahali
Is it normal for your host family to pay for your flight to and back?
yeah! not all families do, mine didn’t, but i’ve heard of it for sure
Does they pay for your flight there?
Mine did not but everyone’s experience is different
Sweetheart.... I really love this video, but can I talk to you about something plssss 😰
Why were you required to take care of their kids????
that’s why you’re getting paid..to take care of their children..that’s the paycheck
Hey!? Looking to interview you. If you interested let me know.
Here is some thing I find to be a red flag in general.. The cost of childcare in the United States is extremely expensive at least $1000 a week. It appears to me that his families are exploiting young girls from other countries and making them work as many hours as possible with the lowest pay. It almost doesn’t even seem legal to pay someone three to $400 a week to take care of their kids full-time. I have not been an aupair yet and I’m just thinking about it but am I right or am I wrong?
I totally see where you were coming from! thankfully, as an au pair, it is mainly a cultural exchange so the reality is that the Au Pair should be another kid to the family essentially like an older sibling. There should be a legal limit to the hours you work depending on country (25-30) and the family should be doing as much as I possibly can to make the Au Pair feel welcome and accepted in their family!
It shouldn’t be perceived at cheap labor, but instead as a new member of your family. Some people want cheap childcare, and they should go hire a nanny instead of an Au Pair. it shouldn’t be much work that the au pair is doing- mainly helping the kids with learning a new language and culture!
The problem is I just don’t like kids
then why would you watch the video
I need some help: I started chatting with a family and they seem to be perfect for me, she asked me some things I asked things to her bla bla bla; the problem is, the host mum seems really busy and she gave to me her attorney’s contact to move onto the documentation but I haven’t even video-called the family. I asked for a video-call but i’m a bit scared as this is my first experience. Please give me feedback🥹 (ps i’m going after brexit)
It‘s totally normal to be nervous in the beginning. You got this!
So important to have a video call and to ask lots of questions before committing to anything! It helps you to get an idea of how the family is like and if you would get along well.
Even if the family is super busy, they should always be happy to make time for a video call.
I can only recommend trusting your gut feeling and taking your time making a decision.
Make sure you know what’s important to you personally. No family is perfect even though it might seem like it. Hope you’ll have a wonderful experience!
I'm in this as well fear ,how did it goes