Noah Was A Plonker!
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- čas přidán 10. 09. 2024
- From Ken Ham's Ark Encounter to Jenny McCarthy to Egyptian curses to 3D-printed handguns, Seth Andrews brushes up on the weird, wonderful world of British insults as he monologues about some of the stranger headlines of the week.
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As a modern woman the biblical role makes me furious. I will not be submissive, I have my own mind.
It’s hard to believe any woman would be a Christian. God said men are worth 60 shekels and women are only worth 30 shekels. The Bible is a textbook of misogyny. Obviously female Christians have never read the Bible.
I don't know why any man would want a woman that was submissive I wonder woman with her own mind that I could have conversations with you could bring something to the table intellectually
Want a woman. LOL I'm using voice text LOL
Tracy you don’t understand the concept. Both men and women are to submit to God. If you had a godly husband, you would benefit from his moral leadership.
You can still have your own mind, but you both look out for each others best interests. “Modern woman” implies that your self interests override anyone else’s rights.
24:55 "How did eight people shovel thousand tons of animal waste out of a stadium sized boat with only one window?"
Answer: God just snipped a finger and dissolved the poo, 'cause he acts in mysterious ways, ya know. *spits on floor, scratches ass*
I wrote an article based on accurate data demonstrating that with all those animals farting and belching 24/7 the methane levels would have caused the ark to explode into splinters before water rose enough to float the boat. And farting and belching methane is only part of the problem. Methane released from animal dung would have added to the build up of methane. Since the ark had no ventilation system methane would have easily surpassed the 5% threshold at which explosion would occur. It would only take one oil lamp to cause the Ark to explode turning Noah and his clan, all the animals and the ark into tiny pieces to all be blown up in a catastrophic explosion. KaBoom! ☠️☠️☠️
Need an ark? I noah guy.
The Ghost Stop that is funny but made me groan!
oh noah he didn't..
The Ghost rotflmao
Holy Ship what a great arc pun!
I prefer the science guy, Bill Nye.
You just triggered my google home about five times! It even defined a British insult!
One thing I love about the British people. They can insult you up one side and down the other, and you will thank them for it because they are so polite about it.
Omg Seth I am wetting my self laughing... Listening here in the UK. Brilliant. These are everyday terms to us and its great to hear you struggle through them... 🤣 🤣
Maybe not the one about puffins
One of my closest friends is British and we've loved sharing our favorite insults, but there are a couple here I'd never heard before. 😂
I am only 5 minutes into the podcast and already crying with laughter at Seth trying to pronounce British insults.
Oh-Oh......its way to early in the morning to laugh myself silly!
Butchering the words...but he is trying, so cute.
Best sounding when coming out of the mouth of a very angry young bird. lol
I know it's both hilarious and adorable
cockwomble?! LOL
I hear Mrs. Bucket refused to serve President Trump using her Royal Doulton tea service with the hand painted periwinkles.
Troy Evitt It's Bouqet you bloody prat!
Mrs Bucket also made him take his shoes off at the door
l hope she had the furniture covered.
lol now thats a niche reference.
Mind the tangerine, Richard.
I've always liked the picture of 2 male lions walking on the mythical Ark.
Perfect representation of their ignorance and delusional beliefs.
Vegetarian lions ??
Vegetarian AND gay 😏
Or the 2 "cows".
I'm so disappointed in myself for having not picked up on that.
5 mins in and so proud to be British.
Was playing solitaire on my Amazon Fire Tablet listening to this podcast and suddenly the tablet started acting strangely...going dim a few times and flashing a colored line. I'd forgotten I'd activated Alexa on it. Suddenly, Alexa's voice gave me the definition of "gormless". LOL
We British know how to do and name things!! Hahahaha! Great show. :)
k sturmer
meh... it's hit and miss... why else would almost all of the US you named be either "king's name slightly changed" like Virginia, Carolina or Georgia or have "new" in it :-p Even New York has "King's County" and "Queen's County" ... no, you do not always know how to name things.
But with football you hit a strike! :D
Englishman here, I know and love all of those insults, aha. Do enjoy.
Glad I had the chance to hear your protest speech in person. Keep up the good work man
Noah's ark and the creation museum, what a waste of money.
It gives me an idea for my own museum. Prometheus's fire and the Greek mythology museum.
@@seanmichaels8060 would still be more entertaining and educational than the former.
Not only a waste of money..... it's also a criminal misuse of taxes.
Best insult I've heard hurled at The Orange Baboon was from a Scot (of course): Toupeed Fcktrumpet. Priceless.
@Zeek Banistor
YES! Get out and Vote! For Biden! I wouldn't care if he was a complete vegetable, he's better than trump.
If anything, you'd be voting for Harris!
Lmfao 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Dolt45
Oh Seth, I’m crying with laughter! I’m thinking of how to explain all these insults and you are going way to fast for me to keep up. Oh please, come to the UK and we’ll have dinner and explore these wonderful epithets! 😂😂😂
Seth wtf I WAS DRIVING when you started that shit. I almost drove off the damn road! 😂😅
6 months late but I laughed at the Essex/tan line: people from Essex are known for horrible (spray)tans
Man I miss living in Britain. Scots are even better with insults
Haud yer wheesht, ya wee fannybaws.
Thanks for the videos.
Your voice and views have become my companion through the early hours of sleepless nights.
Good voice, no background music, no fairytales.
Keep it up.
Not wanting to marry someone with debt. Very sensible IMO. In fact not marrying at all is the best option of all.
Marriage is a scam. Why not just, you know... live together?
Why must we sign legal papers just to co habitate. You take what's yours I take what's mine ,save your receipts and we walk away. Child support is different if you bring children into the situation act like adults and make sure that your breakup doesn't fuck up your kids ,being civil to one another and both parents contribute to the financial situation. Oh yeah if you really don't want kids please don't have them. What a great world this would be if every child was wanted
Came upon this in early 2022, enjoying your take on the British terms/insults. It does remind me of our own Canadian version of translating local expressions and insults of our beloved residents of Newfoundland. Fun! "Stay where yours at, til I comes where your to".
Can't take this I'm living in England and you are the best numpty ever loool you crack me up plonker! Awesome man😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
So far, this is my favorite podcast...
mine too
The orange Essex girl reference has to do with how a lot of women from that county are big into spray tans. Essex girls are also infamously "easy" & there are a lot of jokes about them. *_How does an Essex girl turn the light off before she makes love?_* She closes the car door!
*_What's an Essex girls favourite wine?_* I wanna go to the shopping mall!
So I am in my office with an Alexa echo while listening to this and every time you said "Alexa" it responded.. thanks.. Not annoying at all ;-)
Your own fault for buying such a devilish piece of vanity crap. (And then are too lazy to reprogramm her for a proper codeword!)
It's the same like the fools with Fitbits complaining when they are spotted at ihop :-p
@@Ugly_German_Truths bro calm the fuck down
Debt -free and no tattoos, and women don't know how to have babies anymore...priceless! Wow, god has a plan for women. He just doesn't know it yet...women will have to ask they're godly husbands to explain the mind of god to us! Nice show.
Great stuff, as always. The ivory tickling ghost story is so typical of "haunting" stories. Some simple thing is misunderstood and idiots jump straight to "ghosts".
I found myself having a drink in the pub with an American tourist, it took him a while to figure out that the people I was talking to were actually friends and not people I had a deep hatred for. This is why we are quite inventive with our insults, we have to be because they are constant.
simon instone - the flip side is violent American shock humor. My sister had a British pin pal who was pretty taken off guard when our knee-jerk response to them complaining about some food service was to shoot up the place.
we are the masters of insult... bow to us
We do have some great insults in the UK, don't we? Hearing you say them for the first time was amazing XD. One thing I'm never sure of is if people in the States know that trump is another word for a fart. It's never been more appropriate lol
Bwahaha that's beautiful!
We're living in another Age of McCarthyism.
Great show, Seth! Loved every minute.
@ TheThinkingAtheist. Hi Seth. A 'Shitehawk' is someone who would swoop down on a freshly laid turd so they can skin it and then peck the peanuts out of it!
A Banker for example. 😊
British insults are bloody awesome!
Manky Snatcher: for Margaret Thatcher, Cockney rhyming slang
@Nick Nack she was so hated they suspended the uk pop charts,so "ding dong the witch is dead",would not be named number one
yeah she was regarded as a bit of old bitch,and thats putting it mildly
YES!!! I was hoping you would tackle that horrific post from The Transformed Wife! Thank you, thank you thank you!!
When I read it, I was waiting for her to say how much she supports the ideas in Handmaids Tale.
My buddy had a dog named Noah. That dog could swim like a duck.
Before the change to decimal currency, the U.K. Pound was divided in 20 shillings. The slang name for a shilling was a "bob". The smallest unit of paper currency was 10 shillings, which was known as a "10 bob note". To refer to someone as bent as a 9 bob note was to suggest the person was not to be taken at face value.
Here's a new one: "Yer as welcome as a termite on the ark, mate."
How did the 9 ton 90 foot long dinosaurs get through the door?
The Ark. The boat that wouldn't float. The end.
It was made to float
@@scottgrey2877 No Scott. It's a mith. The whole ark story is a mith older than the bible itself. It's not even original and unique story that has been plagiarised at least 2 times before entering the holy book of the Jewish people.
@@whenaravencries Genesis was written years after it happened
@@scottgrey2877 I fully agree with you! Interestingly enough Genesis is also not the oldest book in Bible. The book of Job is the oldest. Many rivers have flowed into the oceans before Genesis and Exodus got penned down in the Torah.
@@whenaravencries most questions on the global flood are dishonest questions
I agree with previous comments, as a Brit, and living close to London no less, I found this video very entertaining. I think Seth should do a cockney rhyming slang video soon, this is where (mostly people living in London) use non related words that rhyme with other words, foe example 'Answer the dog and bone' - 'Answer the phone', 'I'm up the apples and pears' - 'I'm upstairs', 'Bunsen burner' - 'nice little earner' (to make money). I think we should all chip in some bunce (money) and get Seth a yellow three wheeled van and a sheepskin overcoat,... lovely jubbly!
Excellent start to my day, thanks Seth!!!
I'll be coming back here for more, so I've subscribed in case I miss anymore of the best entertainment I've found on CZcams so far.
Atheism is the most sensible and realistic form of truth to have, and totally obliterates the unnecessary fears created by imaginary deities.
Amen to that...;-)))
Awesome, Seth. Especially enjoyed this one.
March 2023. Alexa has just told me our weather forecast from your words! But she didn’t understand the rest 😅😅😅😅
Google is powered by the souls of the damned, everyone knows that.
Excellent. I'm in Edinburgh Scotland. Some Scottish insults for you (but definitely not directed at you):
Bampot, Radge, Bawbag. :)
Aye. Seth mentioned numpty in the show. :)
Maybe the British should call Trump Numpty Drumpfty. Along with a photo of Trump yelling and the caption: "Numpty Drumpfty had a great squall." Or "Numpty Drumpfty shat on the border wall." It was ineffective and Mexicans were climbing over it, so Trump shat on it in frustration.
All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put divided America back together again.
Yer an Amadan! >XD
@@seanmichaels8060
Well, we don't have much use for kings over here, but don't you worry, we WILL put it back together again.
Pure gold!
British insults/swears are my fave. Tosser is high up there on it. Outlast 2 is about Blake going to report on the death of a girl with his wife.
This is hilarious, I'm crying with laughter.
Rachel Wilson dammit me too,pissing my drawers!😉
All the insults bring back fond memories. The one I don't hear much as a Brit living in New Zealand is Toe-rag.
53:40 Seth: "Hey Alexa, what's the weather gonna be?" My Alexa begins to answer him. Try it! LMAO
Love hearing Seth's reaction to british slang, I hope he learns enough to use when in the UK :) Also seth, look up the word; tosspot
So I've got both Amazon Echo and Google Now in my office, and they've been going mad for the last 5 minutes :P
Can you instruct Echo to tell Now to do things?
The most recent insult I heard, from the one's that I didn't previously know, was someone calling someone a "Cuntfungus!". Colourful and descriptive! :D
I've heard the word "plonker", but not being from Britain, I've never known what it was, or what it meant.
About the ghost story...
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" - I didn't think we'd be there already (although, for people living 200 years ago, I guess we defnitely are).
I died laughing in the first five minutes. Better context: Ron Weasley referred to elder brother Percy as "the world's biggest git" in Harry Potter Book 5 when Percy was working for the Ministry and warning Ron to steer clear of Harry.
This was really entertaining for a Brit like me to watch.
That video was sound as a pound mate.
Seth you crack me up!!
I love british slangs, them brits be creative lol
Not listened to this yet but I just want to give my appreciation as a Brit for the title lol
Plonker!? He must have been an effing genius! Imagine making space for all those poor wee beasties, feeding times must have been never-ending and involved stopping many species devouring the other ones. And then he needed to deal with an avalanch of poo! No wonder he was desperate to get off.... :)
Noah's' first act off the ark was a animal blood sacrifice on the ALTER ! "And the Lord smelled the sweet savor". His next remember-able act was drinking to intoxication. His son, Ham, discovered his nakedness, informed his other two brothers. Shem and Japheth walked in backwards to "cover Noah's nakedness" i.e they kept it hidden "family skeleton" and Noah then cursed his grandson, Canaan, Ham's son.
The moral to the story,
When you are caught in the act , curse the victim !
Lori Alexander is an abused spouse and she is happy about it
Seth is funny and does a pretty a good job with the 'Queens English'!
Everytime he said Alexa or google my whole house lit up to respond. I found myself screaming disregard the whole last 5 minutes lmfao🤣😂. I love my google home though, it’s insightful and it does control my lights, tv, phone, thermostat, etc.
I thought about getting one of those, but maybe I should just do shit the old fashioned way and save myself some frustration lol.
I wish there was a “love” selection on CZcams. Man, you rocked that! Hell yeah!
Constructing a firearm has always been something within the ability of everyone. Pipe pistols and rifles require little understanding of engineering and take only materials available at any hardware store. It's one of the reasons why gun control is an impossible dream.
You would love to hear what he'd be called if he ever visited Ireland 😂
If men don't like women with tattooes, student loan and sexual experience, then you ladies who are burdened with the above can contact me, an obvious non-man who see all the above as a plus.
Well, if you have no student loan, but still attend college and can carry an interesting conversation based on a minimum of logic it is actually a plus to be debt free.
Don't forget 'wanker'
Actually had to stop listening near the end because he kept setting off my Alexa, answering his questions (LOL). Drove me nuts!
Interestingly, 'plonker' was a word coined by the popular British TV show "Only Fools and Horses." It's what one main character often called the other, usually meaning idiot, fool, moron, and was probably used both for its sound, and possibly also due its similarity to 'plonk' ie wine.
Bit late to the party but I wanted to share - Google Home is great - play music, set alarms, read the news. I was worried about Mum falling, especially in the shower, and not being able to get help or reach her alarm so I bought her Google mini and she can use the broadcast feature like an intercom - no need for buttons.
One thing that is a concern with these assistants - people are learning to just bark orders to it. I'd love to see a "courtesy" mode where please and thank you is acknowledged. Okay it's just a robot but kids pick up on this and it doesn't cost anything to keep those pleasantries in our language.
Mom raised me to do the courteous shit, so if I get one of those, I'll probably end up being polite to it lol.
Tangerine Wank Maggot is going to be the name of my first born.
Bit surprised you did not know gormless or piilock. Both are in common use and not restricted to Britain.
“Bent as a nine pound note” is about the same as “Queer as a three dollar bill.”
The Creeky Blinder should know most of these. Hilarious.
This was fantastic! You should download the app called Shakespeare insults, it's great for interesting insults!
Going to download that lol.
I absolutely loved the dramatics at 31:04, LMAO. Wasn't expecting that! :D
The title alone made me laugh so hard, I couldn't click on this fast enough.
For those who are interested in British slang I would recommend they buy a copy of Roger's Profainsaurus.
@Kay B perfect recommendation. Roger Melly is the man when it comes to profanity.
This is why England is a better country: way more insults. We have, like, 5. They have 3 for every year of English history, dating back to the Norman invasion!
Well that thing about women, I will admit I do prefer my lady to have as little debt as possible but the rest is all wrong. I'd rather have a woman with experience, in fact sometimes I like her to charge and Tattoos can it be a plus depending on where and what.
I've heard a few Americans comment on the English word fag which here means a cigarette but in the U.S. Is a homophobic word.
I'm in an area of England called the Black Country and our local dialect uses a lot of old words that other areas now don't. One of those is the word fake for a cigarette instead of the later fag.
Why fake well in the early part of the 20th century manufacturers started to put filter tips in cigarettes and people called these fakes at first as the filter reduced the amount of taste getting to smokers.
Over time most people shortened fake to fag but in the Black Country fake is still used esp by the older generation. As our old English / Germanic words such as bae, bin etc.
That was an excellent presentation at the Ark Encounter!
Hey, Seth. When you said "Hay, Google. Play me something from Journey's Frontiers album." My Google Home Mini (sitting just below the monitor though which I was routing the sound) started to play music for you. So be careful with what you are saying, more than just your subscribers are listening now.
P.S. Like the other Brits that have commented I just loved your take on British insults.
I got the Google puck thingy free with my new cell phone. Was fun for a few days (finding me 50s and 60s country music) but not used it in a while. It now says things like "I can't take pictures at this time" in response to TV commercials. lol Gonna try to hook up some lights to it and see if it is worth it.
This is wild! When you said "Hey Google", my phone's Google Assistant came up. lmao
I am a Briton, age 83. What a wonderful language we have. Why can't the USA adopt the English language?
Love some of these. I do believe this is how Doctor Who gets away with its insults.
I doubt Seth reads these comments but, regarding the Essex protester sign, basically Essex has a bit of a reputation with quite brash men and women, and one thing that is associated with them is bad fake tan. So if an Essex girl tells you your tan is dodgy, you have problems! Basically Essex is our New Jersey!
The proper word for the contents of a coffin or sarcophagus when it's still liquid is "liquor", FYI.
Loved your ark story!
Every time he says, "Okay Google", my phone asks me what I want it to search for. 😆
I was indoctrinated also haha people love hope and thinking death isn't the end. You dont want to persecute religious people they feed on it and double down
The tricky part is not making them feel persecuted/attacked which polite questioning does very effectively.
If the ark was supposed to save all animal species how come over 90% of them are extinct. The ark failed.
Thank You Seth ! As Always Your Voice Is Important...
My Alexa bleeped the word "tosser" but still provided a definition. Beautiful!