How to talk about mental health without offending everyone | Dan Berstein | TEDxCooperUnion

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  • čas přidán 7. 06. 2017
  • Mediator Dan Berstein shares his journey to being open with his bipolar disorder, and how conflict resolution skills can help us overcome barriers to having conversations about mental health. In this profound story, learn how to get past the assumptions, paternalism, and stigma to make room for the other person's story and connect.
    Dan Berstein is a mediator who wants to improve how we talk about mental health. After he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, he encountered stigma and paternalism, which inspired him to seek out ways to empower people. He discovered mediation and has since traveled around the US teaching mental health stakeholders to apply conflict resolution practices. Dan hosted New York City's first community conversation event as part of Barack Obama's National Dialogue on Mental Health.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Komentáře • 54

  • @joannaashworth5767
    @joannaashworth5767 Před 7 lety +8

    Your openness and thoughtfulness is so moving AND useful.

  • @MentalHealthForUs
    @MentalHealthForUs Před 7 lety +29

    The best way to talk about it is to come from a place of openness and understanding. If more people had an understanding of how mental health and illness impacts their own lives, it would do wonders for combating the stigma that surrounds it. It's hard to talk about because it is so taboo.

    • @spreadhappiness9934
      @spreadhappiness9934 Před 3 lety

      Seeking for help..
      My bestie thinks she is suffering from bipolar...this hasn't been confirmed yet by a specialist though...but the symptoms are quite similar...
      She has had a major depressive phase..which lasted for more than an year... during which she took the most extreme step too but was fortunately saved...this was a few months back...
      But she's quite stable now.. in terms of having suicidal thoughts...
      Currently the thing is that her emotions aren't in her control...sometimes she just cries and cries literally for hours without any reason..and experiences severe headache too..
      Also, there are a lot of mood swings...At a particular instant she will be very depressed, numb and cold..won't talk with anybody...and on the very same day after a few hours or on the next day she will be highly energetic and excited...
      Now the issue is that first of all we are in our teenage only....still at such a tender age too she is giving the best possible fight....
      Secondly she hasn't informed her parents about her current symptoms for multiple reasons...as far as I have understood..the reason is she is a bit afraid of getting treated...and also she believes that if she will inform her parents then out of concern they'll start invading her privacy which she has been given currently...
      Another issue is that for some reasons neither can I inform them...
      I have been trying to convince her about informing her parents and seeking for professional help.. but she says she wants to wait..
      Also..for some reasons I can't even meet her frequently...and worse...I will be going far away from her to another city in a few days..
      So basically I stand almost helpless... one thing is for sure that professional help is absolutely necessary or else the condition might worsen...
      I don't know what to do and the only thing I could think of is seeking help through such platforms...
      I would be really very grateful if any professional or past sufferer can make me understand that how can I convince her for seeking professional help and also that how should I behave in her manic and low epsiodes so that I don't worsen the condition....

    • @adamdomenicpacione7574
      @adamdomenicpacione7574 Před 2 lety

      Education is so important. I have panic disorder so similar to ptsd people have a stereotype that your afraid of everything avoid anything you fear. This is somewhat true somewhat not depends on how you feel on the day. Most of these common issues aren't even understood so talking about it may be helpful. Some people may also have other problems there not aware of. Mental health and physical health are both important. Every 1 dollar invested in mental health results in 4 dollars ability to work, be a good partner, family member and freind etc. So why stigmatize what works? treating it like cancer, heart disease is when we know we have made progress in society. people who make fun of mental illness are sick and horrible whether joking about suicide, physcotic/hallucinations or any other mental health things/problems whether rare or common.

  • @cg0825
    @cg0825 Před 5 lety +4

    I have a very good friend who has a good heart and cares. He wants to help but always pushes me to talk and that is not always what I need

  • @cg0825
    @cg0825 Před 5 lety +7

    Thank you Dan for being open and honest. I'm working on being the same way. Depression/anxiety since 18 kept it secret out of fear and shame and took a MH leave from school had the same issue. Mental illness does not make you unintelligent or incapable.. And I was a psych major after my diagnosis and heard all the mocking (when I still kept it secret)

  • @divinedennis9736
    @divinedennis9736 Před 3 lety +4

    Thank you Dan Berstein!! Your tedtalk deserves more thumbs ups! This is great knowledge and valuable perspective 💯👍🏻

  • @michellecoldercarras3723
    @michellecoldercarras3723 Před 7 lety +5

    What a great talk! It's hard sometimes to step back and make room for others' stories, but it makes so much more sense. It's hard to communicate if we assume we know what is going on! I especially like the idea of respecting other people's choices. I've always wanted to do a good job of showing support for people who need it, and I can see where talking about choices is a much more empowering way to do it.

  • @duyluu3354
    @duyluu3354 Před rokem +7

    It’s so hard to talk about mental health because once you do, people stop listening and ask no questions, but instead tell you to be positive.

  • @BreakingTaboo
    @BreakingTaboo Před 3 lety +3

    thank you for sharing! it's so important to open up about these things and talk about mental health.

  • @kc-a7907
    @kc-a7907 Před 5 lety +13

    Thank you! You share important tips to help me understand how to help my loved one with Bp2. I need more of this kind of videos. 😌

    • @spreadhappiness9934
      @spreadhappiness9934 Před 3 lety

      Seeking for help..
      My bestie thinks she is suffering from bipolar...this hasn't been confirmed yet by a specialist though...but the symptoms are quite similar...
      She has had a major depressive phase..which lasted for more than an year... during which she took the most extreme step too but was fortunately saved...this was a few months back...
      But she's quite stable now.. in terms of having suicidal thoughts...
      Currently the thing is that her emotions aren't in her control...sometimes she just cries and cries literally for hours without any reason..and experiences severe headache too..
      Also, there are a lot of mood swings...At a particular instant she will be very depressed, numb and cold..won't talk with anybody...and on the very same day after a few hours or on the next day she will be highly energetic and excited...
      Now the issue is that first of all we are in our teenage only....still at such a tender age too she is giving the best possible fight....
      Secondly she hasn't informed her parents about her current symptoms for multiple reasons...as far as I have understood..the reason is she is a bit afraid of getting treated...and also she believes that if she will inform her parents then out of concern they'll start invading her privacy which she has been given currently...
      Another issue is that for some reasons neither can I inform them...
      I have been trying to convince her about informing her parents and seeking for professional help.. but she says she wants to wait..
      Also..for some reasons I can't even meet her frequently...and worse...I will be going far away from her to another city in a few days..
      So basically I stand almost helpless... one thing is for sure that professional help is absolutely necessary or else the condition might worsen...
      I don't know what to do and the only thing I could think of is seeking help through such platforms...
      I would be really very grateful if any professional or past sufferer can make me understand that how can I convince her for seeking professional help and also that how should I behave in her manic and low epsiodes so that I don't worsen the condition....

  • @kiwi5162
    @kiwi5162 Před 8 měsíci

    Excellent presentation Mr. Bernstein. I especially appreciate your intro to mediation. I took a community mediation training course 1995. It has been useful in my life ever since. LOVE. PEACE. God Bless

  • @sofiahabtemariam6628
    @sofiahabtemariam6628 Před 2 lety

    Wow, thank you very much for sharing with us 🙏🏾

  • @aleciabunwairetaylor4542
    @aleciabunwairetaylor4542 Před 4 lety +6

    You are an inspiration, keep up the good work.
    I have bipolar 1 and it's hard, everyone I come across look down on me, my relatives, my husband...Sigh sometimes I just feel like giving up.

    • @faithbeyondocd4339
      @faithbeyondocd4339 Před 2 lety

      I’m sorry. You’re loved and youcan get through this. God loves you, God bless. I believe in you!❤️❤️

    • @your_spirit_guide
      @your_spirit_guide Před 2 lety

      Never give up, there are others who see value in you ❤️❤️❤️

    • @Roule_n_Scratche
      @Roule_n_Scratche Před rokem

      I don't know if you're reading this and I don't know what you've been through, but I just want to say that I'm worried about your comment and I want your well-being, if you're feeling suicidal then, please, look for a suicide hotline. I just want you to know that I care about you, and want you to feel well.

  • @worldwinus
    @worldwinus Před 3 lety +1

    Thank you for sharing

  • @dkattkatt7633
    @dkattkatt7633 Před rokem

    Very helpful, thank you for your experiential knowledge, Dan Bernstein.

  • @shimaashehata4233
    @shimaashehata4233 Před 3 lety +2

    Great talk, thank you so much. I have Bipolar disorder too

  • @brayanreyes6304
    @brayanreyes6304 Před 4 lety +8

    I’m diagnosed with bipolar disorder too and I also protect my sleep.i never knew others did too

    • @laurieberry162
      @laurieberry162 Před 2 lety

      Brayan Reyes, I find you offensive. Because I rather have your diagnosis than mine. But what we have in common, we have people who believe we are violent. It doesn’t mean they are right. But I have been getting different diagnosis like stress and anxiety.

    • @laurieberry162
      @laurieberry162 Před 2 lety

      But I don’t know you. I didn’t say that I don’t like you.

  • @DrSharonFair
    @DrSharonFair Před 2 lety

    Great presentation. Thank you!

  • @YenNguyen-xz4fs
    @YenNguyen-xz4fs Před 2 lety

    You have the best speech of all time.

  • @qwertykeypad6186
    @qwertykeypad6186 Před 2 lety

    THANK YOU!

  • @adamdomenicpacione7574
    @adamdomenicpacione7574 Před 2 lety +4

    The less stigma and more education on health issues is good. I think educating your family freinds and society is great. Especially around common anxiety disorders. people looking to treat it like cancer, diabetes and heart disease understand how to create a healthier society that benefits everyone. Discrimination and stigma against vulnerable people like myself is showing more of what is wrong with society and not people who have common issues. Cancer used to have the same stigma. Many people have mental illneses and you wouldn't even realize it unless they tell you. Some are very smart and capable people no diffrent than some physical conditions. Can be treated easily if it's a common issue. Making it a part of school ciriculums is a great idea for coping skills life skills etc. Anyone any age can have it.

  • @lisabagnall9648
    @lisabagnall9648 Před 7 lety +8

    Beautifully crafted presentation, authentic, real and personal. You are an inspiration to me Dan. I will remember this presentation next time I take the podium, love Lisa

  • @mariabee653
    @mariabee653 Před rokem

    Great presentation! Thank you :)

  • @tableleader254
    @tableleader254 Před rokem

    Thank you 🙏

  • @LindaBallard911health
    @LindaBallard911health Před rokem +1

    My son is a masterful educator. I do no use the term disabled. Through my lens my son has an extraordinary mind unique abilities and a multi-faceted/level learning style. I respect him as the expert because he lives his unique ability. This is a magnificent journey and the conversation is open. I have learned so much. His channel is @Vondale Garrett The Slap. His unique ability is Nonverbal Learning Disability. Thank you for hearing my voice.💕

  • @mikah07
    @mikah07 Před 2 lety

    Great story! Storytelling always work

  • @joseangelgleraarellano8833

    Wonderfull talk.

  • @deannagranacki8553
    @deannagranacki8553 Před 3 lety

    Desidional Balances and Evaluation

  • @letsgoBrandon204
    @letsgoBrandon204 Před 3 lety +4

    I think there's stigma attached because people don't understand it. Like out group stigma/prejudice. There needs to be more general discussion about it. Preventable mental illness costs a lot of money in wasted opportunities. People need to grow up with this taught to them like they do for other health issues (they do here anyway 😏).

    • @UtterlyMental
      @UtterlyMental Před 2 lety

      I really appreciate this insight of yours!!! Thank you!!

  • @KarenEDabney
    @KarenEDabney Před 6 lety +1

    WoW!

  • @charleneterrell
    @charleneterrell Před rokem

    Yesterday, late night, my daughter told me she seen images that her father passed out on the floor at their house.

  • @spreadhappiness9934
    @spreadhappiness9934 Před 3 lety +1

    Seeking for help..
    My bestie thinks she is suffering from bipolar...this hasn't been confirmed yet by a specialist though...but the symptoms are quite similar...
    She has had a major depressive phase..which lasted for more than an year... during which she took the most extreme step too but was fortunately saved...this was a few months back...
    But she's quite stable now.. in terms of having suicidal thoughts...
    Currently the thing is that her emotions aren't in her control...sometimes she just cries and cries literally for hours without any reason..and experiences severe headache too..
    Also, there are a lot of mood swings...At a particular instant she will be very depressed, numb and cold..won't talk with anybody...and on the very same day after a few hours or on the next day she will be highly energetic and excited...
    Now the issue is that first of all we are in our teenage only....still at such a tender age too she is giving the best possible fight....
    Secondly she hasn't informed her parents about her current symptoms for multiple reasons...as far as I have understood..the reason is she is a bit afraid of getting treated...and also she believes that if she will inform her parents then out of concern they'll start invading her privacy which she has been given currently...
    Another issue is that for some reasons neither can I inform them...
    I have been trying to convince her about informing her parents and seeking for professional help.. but she says she wants to wait..
    Also..for some reasons I can't even meet her frequently...and worse...I will be going far away from her to another city in a few days..
    So basically I stand almost helpless... one thing is for sure that professional help is absolutely necessary or else the condition might worsen...
    I don't know what to do and the only thing I could think of is seeking help through such platforms...
    I would be really very grateful if any professional or past sufferer can make me understand that how can I convince her for seeking professional help and also that how should I behave in her manic and low epsiodes so that I don't worsen the condition....

  • @RosscoAW
    @RosscoAW Před rokem +2

    5:07 No, it isn't, it's to protect the school's fiduciary duty to it's shareholders from admittance of low performing students who may have a "counterproductive" impact on other students, whose performances are a direct functional input for the school's fiduciary outputs. Straight tf up 104% just mathematical capitalism, not a single shred of empathy involved whatsoever, because it can't be, legally: fiduciary duty trumps emotion, and morality.

    • @tarynfairchild2366
      @tarynfairchild2366 Před rokem +1

      I was wondering about that too.

    • @debtslaves8726
      @debtslaves8726 Před měsícem

      Agree, Failure to uphold fiduciary duty can result in legal consequences, such as lawsuits for breach of duty and financial penalties. BS. Nothing to do with duty of care or empathy. It's all about liability/capitalism.

  • @laurieberry4814
    @laurieberry4814 Před 3 lety

    I am offended because I feel that my diagnosis is more stigmatized.

    • @laurieberry162
      @laurieberry162 Před 2 lety +1

      I listen more. He makes sense. I think he’s bright.

    • @adamdomenicpacione7574
      @adamdomenicpacione7574 Před 2 lety +2

      I have panic disorder it's not as stigmatized but people with that disorder still commit suicide or have physical health problems if untreated. it's very common like gad ptsd, panic disorder and depression. Talking about it with facts and stats is important along with science. If you find yourself avoiding places that shouldn't be scary because of fear it may be a anxiety disorder your experiencing.

    • @your_spirit_guide
      @your_spirit_guide Před 2 lety

      @@adamdomenicpacione7574 I have social anxiety and fear of public speaking since young. Even though better now, feelings of anxiety can still creep in from time to time. Will have burning sensations on my legs

  • @buddhaneosiddhananda8499

    Dude...! Anything is possible...! Medical diagnosis is always inaccurate...

  • @GG-fk6uz
    @GG-fk6uz Před 6 lety

    This is essentially just a guy rambling on about how having a mental illness creates his identity.
    Doing so creates a picture that the theory of the pathology is a fixed concept, "you dont suffer from bipolar, you are bipolar". Much like... being a certain race or gender.
    Mental illness - bipolar - is too abstract, fluid and misunderstood of a concept to be portrayed in a manor that it is as fixed as an identity attribute as categorical as race or gender. He portrays it that way by introducing himself that way.

    • @jewelsdonovan376
      @jewelsdonovan376 Před 5 lety +3

      G G he has every right to talk about it. Don't like it? Who cares. Not me. Don't watch it if you think he's just rambling.

    • @laurieberry162
      @laurieberry162 Před 2 lety

      G G. Do you suffer from racism? It sounds like you feel like what you wrote was important.