Why You're Not Happy and What To Do About It

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  • čas přidán 15. 06. 2024
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    🚨 Watch the full interview with Mo Gawdat here - • The Happiness Expert M...
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    I recently interviewed best-selling author ‪@MoGawdatOfficial‬ on my podcast ‪@DeepDivewithAliAbdaal‬ to talk about his research on happiness and how we can all potentially live happier lives. In this video, I go through why happiness is a choice, why we often struggle to see that and 5 practical ways to become happier in our day-to-day lives. Enjoy x
    ⏱ Timestamps
    00:00 Intro
    01:29 Happiness Is A Choice
    02:50 Why We Can't Accept That Happiness Is Choice
    04:30 5 Practical Ways to Become Happier
    📚 Books Mentioned
    Solve For Happy - geni.us/HPZ9W
    That Little Voice In Your Head - geni.us/yrIvS
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Komentáře • 343

  • @chantel9780
    @chantel9780 Před rokem +37

    “I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.” - Andy Bernard .........I think of this quote often and it reminds me that the present moments are where true happiness and joy lies. Thanks for this Ali

    • @catea1._
      @catea1._ Před rokem

      Yesss, The Office has some of the funniest, relatable and meaningful quotes

  • @jonhiew3831
    @jonhiew3831 Před rokem +85

    Ali out here giving us our therapy, our saviour

    • @evelynexuma1699
      @evelynexuma1699 Před rokem +3

      Haha exactly loving his videos lately no helpfull cause no one really teaches you how to understand yourself and mind and how to lead it to the path you want

  • @mariussavatier4155
    @mariussavatier4155 Před rokem +120

    Happiness needs to be defined. For me, it's thriving in the pursuit of a loosely defined long-term goal while enjoying the process. I'm happy when I'm not asking myself that question.

  • @dooseabege
    @dooseabege Před rokem +220

    Thank you. I needed this. I’ve really been practicing happiness as a choice because I was constantly consumed with expectations and disappointed with the reality. I’m not perfect and get overwhelmed but I will take some tips here and I’m working to have a baseline of contentment and happiness that is unwavering of circumstances around me while I still try to achieve and strive and do better

    • @mikeburchart8522
      @mikeburchart8522 Před rokem +1

      I believe that the moment you stop practicing happiness as a choice, you will become happy.

    • @ricardobracho9567
      @ricardobracho9567 Před rokem

      @@mikeburchart8522 what

  • @AlexanderFYoung
    @AlexanderFYoung Před rokem +115

    Gratitude and perspective are what people should focus on over superficial outcomes.

  • @carmenkwok9708
    @carmenkwok9708 Před rokem +47

    1. The Happiness Equation 4:30
    2. The Look Down Principal 8:25
    3. The Rule of 9 Positive Things 10:10
    4. Happiness vs. Joy & Pleasure 10:50
    5. Journey Before Destination 11:40

  • @yaboiareaboy
    @yaboiareaboy Před rokem +45

    Whoever's reading this, I pray that whatever you're going through gets better and whatever your struggling with or worrying about is going to be fine and that everyone has a fantastic day Amen

  • @areeshatahnee2193
    @areeshatahnee2193 Před rokem +1

    Ali! You look so good here! White is definitely your colour and the gold frame suits your face so well!

  • @user-xt7zs7tn1c
    @user-xt7zs7tn1c Před rokem

    youre a genius man. smarter than everyone else, and richer too

  • @acdcacres
    @acdcacres Před rokem +1

    This was really powerful, thank-you for sharing! I appreciated the "look down instead of look up", with the story you shared. ❤ I lost my friend (neighbor) a little while back, but I remember having that thought shortly after he passed- thankful for what we did have instead of focusing on the loss. I was so thankful to have been there, so he wasn't alone. The ringer was off on our phone, but for some reason we still woke up and were able to head over to comfort him and help him and be with him one last time (he passed later in the hospital). When I think back on that moment, as much as it hurts he is gone, I am beyond thankful that we had those final moments and all the memories of his visits.

  • @GrowthMindsetChannel
    @GrowthMindsetChannel Před rokem +32

    "Is there anything ever under our total control? Yes, two things are: your actions and your attitude." - Mo Gawdat 🙏😊

  • @khalilahd.
    @khalilahd. Před rokem +37

    I listen to a podcast called “the happiness lab” and they also discuss the idea of incremental happiness as a choice and at first it’s a pretty jarring concept but the more you look into it the more it makes sense. Such a great video! 🙏🏽

    • @heyheyvicky1498
      @heyheyvicky1498 Před rokem

      I love that podcast, I learned so much from it!

    • @lucillebennet4233
      @lucillebennet4233 Před rokem +1

      After 8 long years of battling with insecurities, low self-esteem, with constant fear of the knowledge I could infect someone with HSV 1&2 was a nightmare to me. I'm so glad/grateful that I am over Herpes and its stigma! All thanks to Dr. Aloha #Herpes #Hsv1 #Hsv2 #Sti czcams.com/channels/_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww.html 🍀🪸🌼

  • @spectrumhairsolutions1765

    love this video Ali. thank you for the intentionality you bring to all your content. this was so relevant and helpful

  • @GolfwithShan
    @GolfwithShan Před rokem +7

    Ali's talking speed in these videos are like 1.5x on audiobooks 😂 which is perfect honestly. The full conversation (podcast) is amazing as well. Thank you

  • @sunvavachi
    @sunvavachi Před rokem +1

    Working on each present day has been something I've been working on and to remove external factors. I think at this time where a lot are struggling financially, that comfort zone to enjoy life seems lost even if they try to enjoy. People who are moderately/rich are even struggling in current times to make sure they don't make the wrong moves. This was a fantastic video to just keep emphasizing to enjoy the process to whatever our goals may head or intersect towards. And hopefully in the end that balance constructs so we are not worrying too much on a specific outcome and will naturally manifest.

  • @ashisbhai7291
    @ashisbhai7291 Před rokem +12

    Low expectations are the way forward.. But when you see closed ones suffering for your low income or joblessness.. It's hurts in each micro second.. Thanks to Ali.. His voice is my motivation..

  • @boxerjoe0077
    @boxerjoe0077 Před rokem +1

    I really appreciate your content! The topics you choose to cover are very relatable and seem to be exactly what I need to learn. Keep it up!

  • @risika
    @risika Před rokem +65

    I get asked how I keep up my journaling practise and it definitely came from lowering my expectations
    Especially when youre depressed it’s about making incremental adjustments that eventually lead to steps towards feeling better. Now I consistently post journal with me videos on yet and thats kept me the most committed and helped with brain fog/dysregulation.
    For example, when I was the most depressed I had no appetite and no desire to cook. I’d let myself starve sometimes - and that was partly because I felt like if I cooked then it needed to be a perfect, healthy, pretty little meal. Eventually, I realized I needed to lower my expectations and in a moment I had energy I began experimenting to find my depression meal. Because I realized any food is better than no food - so who cares if its healthy, pretty, whatever. For a while all I ate was poutine, then oatmeal, then toast and peanut butter. Finally discovered a half a microwave baked potato and 2 sunny side up eggs. You may think, “fired eggs” you’re not depressed but for some reason frying eggs was okay but making my oatmeal with milk was too much work… idk. The point is this meal is relatively healthy, I feel good and eating doesn’t stress me out anymore. And I’ve gotten blood work done so I know I’m ok like this - because it wasn’t forever. When I was ready I started taking more steps and managing my mental health and getting happier.

    • @marionannmacredie
      @marionannmacredie Před rokem +1

      Same! I used all my meals as “depression “ meals. When I was depressed I would say “I only have to get to the next meal”. I lost 60 lbs also. Like you I told myself it was better to have a little of ordinary food than swing from dieting to bingeing figuring that less weight on perfectionist food was healthier. 🌹🌹🌹

    • @risika
      @risika Před rokem +1

      @@marionannmacredie exactly that! Im trying my best to apply the same mindset to other parts of life but its a constant process of learning and unlearning

    • @risika
      @risika Před rokem

      @Leet Noob Im rooting for you!

    • @marionannmacredie
      @marionannmacredie Před rokem +1

      @@risika yes my lifetime’s eating problem I finally solved so I’m trying to figure out how that worked so I can apply it to other things. I bought both Mo blooms because he is so great. Your CZcams looks good I will take a look when I’m out of hospital for gall bladder surgery🌷

    • @marionannmacredie
      @marionannmacredie Před rokem

      Both Mo BOOKS 😂

  • @theaburtofamily9398
    @theaburtofamily9398 Před rokem

    Again, killed it. Whenever I feel like I’m in a slump you so happen to post at the right time. Thank you again 🙏

  • @tipsandtricks1597
    @tipsandtricks1597 Před rokem

    Thanks Ali for the kind of value your are putting to the world.. keep up the great work.

  • @ashusuri6472
    @ashusuri6472 Před rokem +1

    That's so true ...its the same thing with my father..when he died i was shattered and so heartbroken that i could not see past my pain...but now after 5 years i now realize that i had 18 beautiful years with him ..all those precious memories of being daddy's lil angel i would cherish them for the rest of my life and i am soo thankful that i got to live 18 years with someone as amazing as him... 😭🙂

  • @frogskin482
    @frogskin482 Před rokem +1

    Ali, thank you for introducing me to Mo. I will certainly get his books. Gratitude and celebrating positive memory struck me hard as I am currently working through the loss of my mum.

  • @imanmanzoor6794
    @imanmanzoor6794 Před rokem

    Omg omggggg was waiting for it ! Thanksss

  • @hermajestytheking484
    @hermajestytheking484 Před rokem +2

    This video is so life changing, thank you for this💗

  • @ZoeysMusings
    @ZoeysMusings Před rokem +24

    Expectations will be the death of us. My favourite poem 'He Never Expected Much' by Thomas Hardy follows the formula of happiness = reality - expectations. The lower your expectations, the more you enjoy life. Choosing incremental happiness (contentment while striving to be better) is the way to go. Thanks for sharing Mr Mo's wise words, Ali!

  • @alimariwankamal1937
    @alimariwankamal1937 Před rokem +2

    It doesn't matter you don't have as many subscriber as this or that youtuber. The value you offer us is much more than sooo many famous youtubers

  • @zarintasnim4835
    @zarintasnim4835 Před rokem +1

    This was so insightful. Thank you, Ali.

  • @lapassion24
    @lapassion24 Před rokem +1

    he is happy on what he does, he likes to share and influence, he wants to make people happy , Ali!! ; ) strong and happy!!

  • @MeePro100
    @MeePro100 Před rokem +2

    I have been doing similar videos to yours for three years now, I am a medical student and productivity lover too, sadly I don’t have the same success story as yours, your videos provide me a level of motivation no human mind apart from mine can comprehend. Thankyou Ali

  • @leighauza
    @leighauza Před rokem

    This was really helpful. Thank you so much.

  • @allylavender1536
    @allylavender1536 Před rokem +1

    Really excited to watch the rest of the interview with Mo after this video!

  • @kimvezina6470
    @kimvezina6470 Před rokem +3

    Living in the moment and appreciating everything, the good and the bad promotes growth. Thank you for sharing this wonderful experience with us.

  • @NadMartineau
    @NadMartineau Před rokem +2

    Grateful for everything I have in my life. Once I started being more grateful for everything I created my own happiness and it radiates to others

  • @ikustom
    @ikustom Před rokem +4

    I've noticed that almost everythnig that they talk about in this video is mentioned in the book "subtle art of not giving a f*".
    pretty cool.

  • @dr.slavashut
    @dr.slavashut Před rokem

    Thanks. I needed to hear this today. Too often people forget that their wellbeing (and happiness included) is their own responsibility

  • @perth8013
    @perth8013 Před rokem +1

    thanks ali for making this video! you delivered the topic very clearly. i hope you will upload more videos!
    warmest regards,

  • @TheHealthPunch
    @TheHealthPunch Před rokem +5

    Buy the book guys, it also comes handy as a ruler. I love the way you add sponsor especially this time ❤️

  • @orchids4media343
    @orchids4media343 Před rokem

    I was just feeling dead and Ali's here with a solution! Such a lifesaver :)

  • @minaltidake8075
    @minaltidake8075 Před rokem +1

    I love your consistency these days ❤️

  • @eqrodriguez
    @eqrodriguez Před rokem

    Great video and interview, thanks Ali🙏

  • @harrison1980
    @harrison1980 Před rokem

    This is the video that I'm looking for last some years,
    Thanks Ali

  • @TheHealthPunch
    @TheHealthPunch Před rokem +1

    The look down principle is Life changing
    🙏 for sharing guys ❤️

  • @raadzulqurnain3320
    @raadzulqurnain3320 Před rokem

    Thank you Ali, I am currently in a crossroad and this indirectly helped a bit to gain perspective

  • @happyhealthhelp
    @happyhealthhelp Před rokem +1

    Thanks Ali!!

  • @parisprasad5375
    @parisprasad5375 Před rokem

    This is what I’m ultimately going to study. Love it!

  • @SydPeppa
    @SydPeppa Před rokem +2

    8:30 "While hiking a mountain, it's important to remember to enjoy the view above."

  • @epiphany2612
    @epiphany2612 Před rokem

    LOVED THIS Thank YOU ❤💯💯💯

  • @sueh3840
    @sueh3840 Před rokem +8

    Having a goal and taking action to achieve that goal will not make you unhappy. It's the attachment to the outcome from that effort that makes a person unhappy or anxious. It's ok to be ambitious just don't be so hung up on the result. Try your best and hope for the best. When you have no (not low) expectation on the outcome from your effort, you will not be let down.

  • @lizzykelman
    @lizzykelman Před rokem +1

    This video is so amazing!!!! Thank you so much!!!😇😇😇

  • @BerCanUSA
    @BerCanUSA Před rokem

    Love your videos. This one is so timely. There are many professionals struggling with a post pandemic reckoning as we evaluate how to find happiness in our work life balance. As a teacher I will be sharing this with my colleagues as we return to the classrooms and seek to find a happier learning experience for all involved stakeholders.

  • @thirstyexplorer
    @thirstyexplorer Před rokem +2

    Thank you Ali for posting this video. I already feel happier 😎🤩

  • @aaliyahussain4967
    @aaliyahussain4967 Před rokem

    Woah!!
    Thanks, this was really needed 🙂🙃

  • @bradleythorburn
    @bradleythorburn Před rokem

    Great video this has helped will watch the podcast next and get both Mo books

  • @bernoGarcia
    @bernoGarcia Před rokem +1

    I like how you mixed the podcast with clips of you commenting it. love it

  • @Virtual_brain
    @Virtual_brain Před rokem +3

    I didn't know I needed this, so thanks :)
    I am from Chile and currently I am on vacations on new york and is so easy to see these giant houses and wonder how big of a gap there is in our income. But at the same time is also easy to forget how far I have come in my life, from living in a really small city in my country to actually being about to finish my PhD in Italy 😁 I definitely needed some perspective and be grateful of the present

  • @ilhammohamed3758
    @ilhammohamed3758 Před rokem

    This absolutely a topic I quite often my mentor always talks about this it just now clicked for me thank you

  • @Enhma
    @Enhma Před rokem

    Hey ali, Just wanted to thank you for your videos

  • @BlhJ400
    @BlhJ400 Před rokem

    Man you are sooo successful, good for you, time is running out for me and you in 12 years old start learning to code man that's mind blowing 🤯

  • @cindyglasscock
    @cindyglasscock Před rokem

    WOW !!!! Awesome Video !!!!! THANK YOU

  • @aakankshasingh2589
    @aakankshasingh2589 Před rokem +1

    THIS VIDEO IS TRULY Everting I needed in life to get me out of my dark place

  • @saadshakeel6394
    @saadshakeel6394 Před rokem

    Absolutely you nailed it man...❤️❤️❤️

  • @RvstyClvtch
    @RvstyClvtch Před rokem

    Thank you Ali!

  • @WillBrownCars
    @WillBrownCars Před rokem +4

    Happiness is definitely a choice and my life has seen positive change since I realised this! I read a book called the secret and part of it teaches all about the difference an conscious positive outlook can have on overall life as well as happiness!

  • @themelissalaurie
    @themelissalaurie Před rokem

    Thanks! I find that meditation also helps a lot with self care and being grateful

  • @no3one3cares3a3bit3
    @no3one3cares3a3bit3 Před rokem

    Ali your videos really contribute to our happiness :) keep it up bro!

  • @cloudsec3279
    @cloudsec3279 Před rokem +2

    Why I watch a new episode every time, I feel that it is a steal - so much tangible benefits delivered in a professional way at zero cost.

  • @tarahuwez8797
    @tarahuwez8797 Před rokem

    This is my favourite video from Ali to date.

  • @cmauritianSophie
    @cmauritianSophie Před rokem

    Love this interview

  • @sheikhrashid3055
    @sheikhrashid3055 Před rokem +1

    Thanks Ali 💗

  • @rongitmukherjee
    @rongitmukherjee Před rokem

    Really liked this video. Lot to take away from this. Thanks!

  • @hendrikjordaan79
    @hendrikjordaan79 Před rokem +1

    ali you’re the best

  • @gurduzaana4225
    @gurduzaana4225 Před rokem

    Such a good content, thank you!

  • @ameliazane6743
    @ameliazane6743 Před rokem

    You Change my life every single minute

  • @TejaLisjak
    @TejaLisjak Před rokem

    Such a good video!! Loved the last quote about ‘20-millionaire’ and vice versa!🙌🏻💙

  • @rick.austin
    @rick.austin Před rokem +29

    You really met the point when you described happiness as reality - expectations.
    Every time I look at famous youtuber and I start comparing myself to them I get dragged down into a spiral of negative thoughts and sense of unfulfillment.
    No matter how much you work, no matter what you achieve, there is always something that does better than you and it's your responsibility to decide if you want that to be your focus, or rather if you want to make gratitude for what you are and what you have the center of your attention.
    Thank you for this beautiful video!
    By the way @khalilah D. I also listen to "the happiness lab" podcast! It's so interesting!

  • @saeed17
    @saeed17 Před rokem

    A lot of the points raised in this video resonated deeply with me.

  • @Prashansaa
    @Prashansaa Před rokem

    Your video gave the joy and positivity I needed. I absolutely love to read the books you recommend. ❤

  • @WilliamRandomUploads
    @WilliamRandomUploads Před rokem

    Random sharing here that may benefit others, I think a lot of us link happiness with achieving goals. I started seeing a psychiatrist to understand myself better and realised that I have been linking my happiness with external goals & factors such as earning more money, getting a promotion.
    When I’m down, I go to eat good food, meet friends for drinks and travel, Spending time with my partner exploring restaurants and places but I realized I don’t have a specific activity that makes me happy internally. It will be an ongoing activity to find an internal happy factor for most people. Hope anyone that read this have a think about what makes you happy internally and work towards finding that 💪🏼

  • @mr.researcherman2946
    @mr.researcherman2946 Před rokem +1

    May Allah bless this ummah with happiness. Ameen

  • @Redemption4U
    @Redemption4U Před rokem

    Thanks for sharing this

  • @HasanMRifat
    @HasanMRifat Před rokem +1

    Ali, you are a lifesaver. I follow you as like my elder brother. Love you, brother!

  • @joelmeedel
    @joelmeedel Před rokem +2

    i really like your videos, the style and the vibe it's incrediblee🤯🤯

  • @Gandhar1012
    @Gandhar1012 Před rokem

    I needed this..

  • @nithikab
    @nithikab Před rokem +3

    ur glowing bro

  • @psychwithkrithika2
    @psychwithkrithika2 Před rokem

    Yes, absolutely relevant content

  • @aaishah6319
    @aaishah6319 Před rokem +1

    Loooove this!!!

  • @aydenmiller8204
    @aydenmiller8204 Před rokem +2

    Fulfilment is the aim but why not be happier along the way!

  • @justshowkat
    @justshowkat Před rokem +1

    I really really enjoyed this video. it's highly aligned with my philosophy ❤❤❤
    life can be simple, successful and happier if we know the mid point and stay there. too much of anything leads to depression and unhappiness!

  • @pearlstella
    @pearlstella Před rokem +1

    Hands down, this is the best video I have watched all year

  • @h_ss.n_7761
    @h_ss.n_7761 Před rokem +4

    Hey Ali. Ur an absolute legend man

    • @shr3970
      @shr3970 Před rokem

      glowersity channel has great inspirational videos to improve your life

  • @LonleyCopy
    @LonleyCopy Před rokem

    Im happy being on my own now learning about me
    Rather in past rushing into dead end relationships im very out going but love coming home alone

  • @Jubair194
    @Jubair194 Před rokem +1

    Thanks Ali

  • @ashikprodhan5527
    @ashikprodhan5527 Před rokem

    Thank you Ali Bhai, I love your every video. I did learn lot of stuff. Thanks

  • @FinancialShinanigan
    @FinancialShinanigan Před rokem +2

    Fuure isn't guaranteed but the now is, enjoy today before it becomes yesterday

  • @TheHealthPunch
    @TheHealthPunch Před rokem +1

    These are some of the really great & true points, that this book proves. What about making a Book Club video on 'That little voice in your head' ?

  • @cescp
    @cescp Před rokem

    Thanks Ali ✨

  • @ShekharKumar-jh3uc
    @ShekharKumar-jh3uc Před rokem +1

    My 3rd Ali Abdaal vid of the day.. good day.

  • @abdulsalam56456
    @abdulsalam56456 Před rokem +2

    Ali, you are searching for happiness everywhere when you were born with it but then abandoned it. This life will never give you the happiness you're looking for. You need to think more long term, then you will find it.

  • @bobramsay4404
    @bobramsay4404 Před rokem

    Thanks Ali 🙏

  • @BetelhemAb12
    @BetelhemAb12 Před 4 měsíci

    Thank u i learn alot😍