Why You're Not Happy and What To Do About It
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- čas přidán 24. 06. 2024
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I recently interviewed best-selling author @MoGawdatOfficial on my podcast @DeepDivewithAliAbdaal to talk about his research on happiness and how we can all potentially live happier lives. In this video, I go through why happiness is a choice, why we often struggle to see that and 5 practical ways to become happier in our day-to-day lives. Enjoy x
⏱ Timestamps
00:00 Intro
01:29 Happiness Is A Choice
02:50 Why We Can't Accept That Happiness Is Choice
04:30 5 Practical Ways to Become Happier
📚 Books Mentioned
Solve For Happy - geni.us/HPZ9W
That Little Voice In Your Head - geni.us/yrIvS
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The podcast that delves into the minds of entrepreneurs, creators and other inspiring people to uncover the philosophies, strategies and tools that help us live happier, healthier and more productive lives. You can find it by searching “Deep Dive” on any podcast app (eg: Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts etc).
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I’m Ali, a CZcamsr, podcaster, soon-to-be author and ex-Doctor working in London, UK. I make videos that explore the strategies and tools that help us live happier, healthier and more productive lives. I also have a weekly podcast called Deep Dive (czcams.com/channels/hfo.html..., and I write a weekly email newsletter that contains some quick thoughts + links to interesting things (email.aliabdaal.com).
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“I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.” - Andy Bernard .........I think of this quote often and it reminds me that the present moments are where true happiness and joy lies. Thanks for this Ali
Yesss, The Office has some of the funniest, relatable and meaningful quotes
Happiness needs to be defined. For me, it's thriving in the pursuit of a loosely defined long-term goal while enjoying the process. I'm happy when I'm not asking myself that question.
Gratitude and perspective are what people should focus on over superficial outcomes.
1. The Happiness Equation 4:30
2. The Look Down Principal 8:25
3. The Rule of 9 Positive Things 10:10
4. Happiness vs. Joy & Pleasure 10:50
5. Journey Before Destination 11:40
Thank you. I needed this. I’ve really been practicing happiness as a choice because I was constantly consumed with expectations and disappointed with the reality. I’m not perfect and get overwhelmed but I will take some tips here and I’m working to have a baseline of contentment and happiness that is unwavering of circumstances around me while I still try to achieve and strive and do better
I believe that the moment you stop practicing happiness as a choice, you will become happy.
@@mikeburchart8522 what
Ali out here giving us our therapy, our saviour
Haha exactly loving his videos lately no helpfull cause no one really teaches you how to understand yourself and mind and how to lead it to the path you want
"Is there anything ever under our total control? Yes, two things are: your actions and your attitude." - Mo Gawdat 🙏😊
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Whoever's reading this, I pray that whatever you're going through gets better and whatever your struggling with or worrying about is going to be fine and that everyone has a fantastic day Amen
This was really powerful, thank-you for sharing! I appreciated the "look down instead of look up", with the story you shared. ❤ I lost my friend (neighbor) a little while back, but I remember having that thought shortly after he passed- thankful for what we did have instead of focusing on the loss. I was so thankful to have been there, so he wasn't alone. The ringer was off on our phone, but for some reason we still woke up and were able to head over to comfort him and help him and be with him one last time (he passed later in the hospital). When I think back on that moment, as much as it hurts he is gone, I am beyond thankful that we had those final moments and all the memories of his visits.
I listen to a podcast called “the happiness lab” and they also discuss the idea of incremental happiness as a choice and at first it’s a pretty jarring concept but the more you look into it the more it makes sense. Such a great video! 🙏🏽
I love that podcast, I learned so much from it!
After 8 long years of battling with insecurities, low self-esteem, with constant fear of the knowledge I could infect someone with HSV 1&2 was a nightmare to me. I'm so glad/grateful that I am over Herpes and its stigma! All thanks to Dr. Aloha #Herpes #Hsv1 #Hsv2 #Sti czcams.com/channels/_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww.html 🍀🪸🌼
Ali! You look so good here! White is definitely your colour and the gold frame suits your face so well!
Working on each present day has been something I've been working on and to remove external factors. I think at this time where a lot are struggling financially, that comfort zone to enjoy life seems lost even if they try to enjoy. People who are moderately/rich are even struggling in current times to make sure they don't make the wrong moves. This was a fantastic video to just keep emphasizing to enjoy the process to whatever our goals may head or intersect towards. And hopefully in the end that balance constructs so we are not worrying too much on a specific outcome and will naturally manifest.
Low expectations are the way forward.. But when you see closed ones suffering for your low income or joblessness.. It's hurts in each micro second.. Thanks to Ali.. His voice is my motivation..
youre a genius man. smarter than everyone else, and richer too
Ali's talking speed in these videos are like 1.5x on audiobooks 😂 which is perfect honestly. The full conversation (podcast) is amazing as well. Thank you
That's so true ...its the same thing with my father..when he died i was shattered and so heartbroken that i could not see past my pain...but now after 5 years i now realize that i had 18 beautiful years with him ..all those precious memories of being daddy's lil angel i would cherish them for the rest of my life and i am soo thankful that i got to live 18 years with someone as amazing as him... 😭🙂
Expectations will be the death of us. My favourite poem 'He Never Expected Much' by Thomas Hardy follows the formula of happiness = reality - expectations. The lower your expectations, the more you enjoy life. Choosing incremental happiness (contentment while striving to be better) is the way to go. Thanks for sharing Mr Mo's wise words, Ali!
It doesn't matter you don't have as many subscriber as this or that youtuber. The value you offer us is much more than sooo many famous youtubers
I have been doing similar videos to yours for three years now, I am a medical student and productivity lover too, sadly I don’t have the same success story as yours, your videos provide me a level of motivation no human mind apart from mine can comprehend. Thankyou Ali
he is happy on what he does, he likes to share and influence, he wants to make people happy , Ali!! ; ) strong and happy!!
love this video Ali. thank you for the intentionality you bring to all your content. this was so relevant and helpful
I didn't know I needed this, so thanks :)
I am from Chile and currently I am on vacations on new york and is so easy to see these giant houses and wonder how big of a gap there is in our income. But at the same time is also easy to forget how far I have come in my life, from living in a really small city in my country to actually being about to finish my PhD in Italy 😁 I definitely needed some perspective and be grateful of the present
Grateful for everything I have in my life. Once I started being more grateful for everything I created my own happiness and it radiates to others
I get asked how I keep up my journaling practise and it definitely came from lowering my expectations
Especially when youre depressed it’s about making incremental adjustments that eventually lead to steps towards feeling better. Now I consistently post journal with me videos on yet and thats kept me the most committed and helped with brain fog/dysregulation.
For example, when I was the most depressed I had no appetite and no desire to cook. I’d let myself starve sometimes - and that was partly because I felt like if I cooked then it needed to be a perfect, healthy, pretty little meal. Eventually, I realized I needed to lower my expectations and in a moment I had energy I began experimenting to find my depression meal. Because I realized any food is better than no food - so who cares if its healthy, pretty, whatever. For a while all I ate was poutine, then oatmeal, then toast and peanut butter. Finally discovered a half a microwave baked potato and 2 sunny side up eggs. You may think, “fired eggs” you’re not depressed but for some reason frying eggs was okay but making my oatmeal with milk was too much work… idk. The point is this meal is relatively healthy, I feel good and eating doesn’t stress me out anymore. And I’ve gotten blood work done so I know I’m ok like this - because it wasn’t forever. When I was ready I started taking more steps and managing my mental health and getting happier.
Same! I used all my meals as “depression “ meals. When I was depressed I would say “I only have to get to the next meal”. I lost 60 lbs also. Like you I told myself it was better to have a little of ordinary food than swing from dieting to bingeing figuring that less weight on perfectionist food was healthier. 🌹🌹🌹
@@marionannmacredie exactly that! Im trying my best to apply the same mindset to other parts of life but its a constant process of learning and unlearning
@Leet Noob Im rooting for you!
@@risika yes my lifetime’s eating problem I finally solved so I’m trying to figure out how that worked so I can apply it to other things. I bought both Mo blooms because he is so great. Your CZcams looks good I will take a look when I’m out of hospital for gall bladder surgery🌷
Both Mo BOOKS 😂
Ali, thank you for introducing me to Mo. I will certainly get his books. Gratitude and celebrating positive memory struck me hard as I am currently working through the loss of my mum.
I really appreciate your content! The topics you choose to cover are very relatable and seem to be exactly what I need to learn. Keep it up!
Thanks Ali for the kind of value your are putting to the world.. keep up the great work.
8:30 "While hiking a mountain, it's important to remember to enjoy the view above."
Buy the book guys, it also comes handy as a ruler. I love the way you add sponsor especially this time ❤️
I was just feeling dead and Ali's here with a solution! Such a lifesaver :)
Again, killed it. Whenever I feel like I’m in a slump you so happen to post at the right time. Thank you again 🙏
Thanks. I needed to hear this today. Too often people forget that their wellbeing (and happiness included) is their own responsibility
This video is so life changing, thank you for this💗
Having a goal and taking action to achieve that goal will not make you unhappy. It's the attachment to the outcome from that effort that makes a person unhappy or anxious. It's ok to be ambitious just don't be so hung up on the result. Try your best and hope for the best. When you have no (not low) expectation on the outcome from your effort, you will not be let down.
Living in the moment and appreciating everything, the good and the bad promotes growth. Thank you for sharing this wonderful experience with us.
Happiness is definitely a choice and my life has seen positive change since I realised this! I read a book called the secret and part of it teaches all about the difference an conscious positive outlook can have on overall life as well as happiness!
Really excited to watch the rest of the interview with Mo after this video!
Omg omggggg was waiting for it ! Thanksss
I've noticed that almost everythnig that they talk about in this video is mentioned in the book "subtle art of not giving a f*".
pretty cool.
This was so insightful. Thank you, Ali.
Thank you Ali, I am currently in a crossroad and this indirectly helped a bit to gain perspective
Ali, you are searching for happiness everywhere when you were born with it but then abandoned it. This life will never give you the happiness you're looking for. You need to think more long term, then you will find it.
May Allah bless this ummah with happiness. Ameen
thanks ali for making this video! you delivered the topic very clearly. i hope you will upload more videos!
warmest regards,
❤
I like how you mixed the podcast with clips of you commenting it. love it
Random sharing here that may benefit others, I think a lot of us link happiness with achieving goals. I started seeing a psychiatrist to understand myself better and realised that I have been linking my happiness with external goals & factors such as earning more money, getting a promotion.
When I’m down, I go to eat good food, meet friends for drinks and travel, Spending time with my partner exploring restaurants and places but I realized I don’t have a specific activity that makes me happy internally. It will be an ongoing activity to find an internal happy factor for most people. Hope anyone that read this have a think about what makes you happy internally and work towards finding that 💪🏼
Great video and interview, thanks Ali🙏
The look down principle is Life changing
🙏 for sharing guys ❤️
Thank you Ali for posting this video. I already feel happier 😎🤩
I love your consistency these days ❤️
This is the video that I'm looking for last some years,
Thanks Ali
Why I watch a new episode every time, I feel that it is a steal - so much tangible benefits delivered in a professional way at zero cost.
Love your videos. This one is so timely. There are many professionals struggling with a post pandemic reckoning as we evaluate how to find happiness in our work life balance. As a teacher I will be sharing this with my colleagues as we return to the classrooms and seek to find a happier learning experience for all involved stakeholders.
This is what I’m ultimately going to study. Love it!
Man you are sooo successful, good for you, time is running out for me and you in 12 years old start learning to code man that's mind blowing 🤯
This video is so amazing!!!! Thank you so much!!!😇😇😇
Fuure isn't guaranteed but the now is, enjoy today before it becomes yesterday
People in comments talking about how life changing this video is. Me just enjoying how casually Mo says "...Hum?" every now an then☺
I've searched for that comment haha
THIS VIDEO IS TRULY Everting I needed in life to get me out of my dark place
Ali, you are a lifesaver. I follow you as like my elder brother. Love you, brother!
Thanks Ali!!
This was really helpful. Thank you so much.
Woah!!
Thanks, this was really needed 🙂🙃
Hey ali, Just wanted to thank you for your videos
Fulfilment is the aim but why not be happier along the way!
Such a good video!! Loved the last quote about ‘20-millionaire’ and vice versa!🙌🏻💙
Ali your videos really contribute to our happiness :) keep it up bro!
This absolutely a topic I quite often my mentor always talks about this it just now clicked for me thank you
You Change my life every single minute
Great video this has helped will watch the podcast next and get both Mo books
This is my favourite video from Ali to date.
Thanks! I find that meditation also helps a lot with self care and being grateful
Really liked this video. Lot to take away from this. Thanks!
You really met the point when you described happiness as reality - expectations.
Every time I look at famous youtuber and I start comparing myself to them I get dragged down into a spiral of negative thoughts and sense of unfulfillment.
No matter how much you work, no matter what you achieve, there is always something that does better than you and it's your responsibility to decide if you want that to be your focus, or rather if you want to make gratitude for what you are and what you have the center of your attention.
Thank you for this beautiful video!
By the way @khalilah D. I also listen to "the happiness lab" podcast! It's so interesting!
I completely agree!
Hands down, this is the best video I have watched all year
woooo thanks :)
Absolutely you nailed it man...❤️❤️❤️
I really really enjoyed this video. it's highly aligned with my philosophy ❤❤❤
life can be simple, successful and happier if we know the mid point and stay there. too much of anything leads to depression and unhappiness!
Thank you Ali!
Happiness as a choice is so important and so challenging. That first point that you don't choose absolute happiness, but you can choose incremental improvements to happiness is a great frame
ali you’re the best
Being in this Channel is itself a healthy habit 💖Thanks Ali for being full of life
i really like your videos, the style and the vibe it's incrediblee🤯🤯
WOW !!!! Awesome Video !!!!! THANK YOU
Super video Ali👍🏽. I am taking notes from both Mo books, and I have the Audible versions too. It’s wonderful to have this video as a Summary that I can listen to to revise. I am recovering in hospital in New Zealand and have introduced you to some medical students (who will spread the word I’m sure! )
😁🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Hey Ali. Ur an absolute legend man
glowersity channel has great inspirational videos to improve your life
Lower your expectations, even if you won’t feel happy you’ll definitely feel happier than you are now…
Such a good content, thank you!
so with low expectations and not comparing yourself to other thats how you can be on path of happiness
My 3rd Ali Abdaal vid of the day.. good day.
The past years I just waited to be able to go back overseas and I used to talk about it all the time with my friends while we were having picnics in park. And now that I am overseas, I sometimes wish I was back in that park with my friend instead....Happiness is really an inside job
A lot of the points raised in this video resonated deeply with me.
*wow Mo's words are very impactful. Great vid giving us all so much knowledge on happiness feels like we getting free group therapy haha!*
Happines comes from solving your problems, not avoiding them. This one sentence helped me to effectively do things that matter which when are done are causing satisfaction.
I think internet is the main problem for our happines. You always compare yourself with someone else who has something that you don't, and you feel miserable because of that. We really need to lower our expectations and enjoy the process and ordinary things that happen trough our days.
Thanks Ali 💗
Love this interview
ur glowing bro
LOVED THIS Thank YOU ❤💯💯💯
Im happy being on my own now learning about me
Rather in past rushing into dead end relationships im very out going but love coming home alone
We need to be present not past or future. Future isn’t come yet so don’t look future until it comes. When you focus on present your future automatically will be ok. Nowadays we look material-stick happiness, it’s trap. This guy is on point
These are some of the really great & true points, that this book proves. What about making a Book Club video on 'That little voice in your head' ?