Doing normal stuff when you are depressed takes sooooooooo much strength. No one without depression will ever be able to understand this. I don’t know how I managed living with depression for 4 years. I tried to take my life because I couldn’t bare it anymore. I didn’t want to die, I just couldn’t bare living anymore.
Hello Sues Anna, You've managed b/c you're a smart and strong person. Those who are burdened with depression or other ailments have to overcome obstacles that others do not. This gives you an insight and an understanding that others don't have. Unfortunately, that insight only applies to the outside world. When it's turn inwards, demand it to be kind and thoughtful. Don't let that inner voice diminish or criticize you beyond reason and prevent you from enjoying moments within a day. Sincerely, Random stranger
Sorry that was a bit insensitive, but really, i know exaclty what you go through. I'm currently desperately trying to read through a mage of a book for class i sould've read 2 weeks go. It sunday, tomorrow i have to go to school, and I haven't done any homework over the Christmas break
Never give up..keep doing the best you can. Love yourself, forgive yourself and know you have every right to be here and to move towards being the best you can...faults in all! You are a beautiful piece of light. We all are! It took a lot of strength to write your comment. You are stronger than you think! Just do your best to the normal stuff....who cares if you only do one thing...celebrate that! Love and light warrior!
Have anxiety, depression while being a perfectionist. Really bad combination Edit: back here after over 2 years. reading all of the stories in the comments makes my heart hurt for all of you and i hope you are getting better. sending love and courage
I'm with you, but add in asthma and random debilitating sciatica and homeschooling a child. Ever want to feel completely worthless? Skip schooling your kid because you can't get up then let the hate compound. I didn't mean that to be so negative. I don't care for this woman. I'm bipolar too, but I don't have normal times. I have very brief, (much rarer than when I was younger,) bursts of manic energy, but usually my mania manifests in short, frequent bursts of rage and the rest of the time, I'm depressed. There is no preparing.
It's not motivation. It's habit. And it's not really a plan. It's like a list of the tasks you really have to do whether you want to or not. Showering and eating aren't easy, but it's the easiest on the list. I can't do it either. That is why I clicked on the video.
@@user-bp4qq7tt1u That's why *they* get help from a therapist. Most people can do it on good days or even good moments in a day. Saying that they can't or that they don't get 'good days'. Is really enabling cause you're taking all the responsibility off the person to better themselves and that they're 'allowed' to fall apart. I don't know if I 'qualify' as severely depressed, but I have an psychiatrist assessment appointment this week because I'm not letting myself fall apart.
I didn’t know what my worst was until one day I couldn’t even lift my head. I couldn’t check my phone, eat, shower, talk- I was literally immobile. I couldn’t even cry because it took too much energy. I’ve never felt anything so awful and I couldn’t even end it because it was so bad. It only happened once, but if it ever happens again- no way I’ll live with that reoccurring
same here. when we were babies we did not have to earn people's love because we ourselves were love. and we still ARE love. may we hear our inner child's voice saying his or her needs and know that we are still equally worthy of love , warmth and nourishment now because we humans really just need love beneath the veneer of adulthood :)
For me..... * sleeping way too much * laziness * low self-esteem * lack of self-care * memory loss * hard time concentrating * over-thinking/racing thoughts * anxiety attacks * self-destruct That's it for now, I'll come back and edit if I remember more later on 👋
I'm definitely not lazy. I fight my depression. I do as much as I can in a day. I may feel like everything is completely pointless or I may get derailed b/c of a sudden change in plans and I sometimes come to a screeching halt, but you have to be doing something in the first place to come to a halt. I am a hard worker. I don't lack self-esteem. I just get so TIRED of trying to do things when everything is so complicated and difficult and I have almost no support system (no family or local friends or faith community). I *wish* I could sleep. I got somewhere between 1-2 hours of sleep last night.
@@DonnaBrooks I am exactly the opposite of what you are. And thats why I can say I am proud of you. Depression takes away your will to work and get up in the morning. But you still manage to fight it as much as possible and that's an actual inspiration to me. Just one thing, please try to sleep for at least 5-6 hours for starters. It is just going to help you get energy to do more in lesser time. And also help rest your body after a hectic day. It is only a medicine thats going to help. Please try improving your sleeping habits. Everything else is commendable 🥺❤️
same but sometimes you have to get out of your comfort zone, healing is not supposed to feel nice and easy sometimes it hurts but i know you can do it! try to start by doing small things like showering or going to grocery to bigger things. i myself am struggling but i can feel myself getting better and its so ncie, i feel good not wanting to die 24/7 lol
@Goth Vaush - Jedi Master Engineer Can you please enlighten us about the Banana conspiracy? Who are they working for? Are they some sort of double agent?
@@shahzad1853 But it's not about a comfort zone at all, depression isn't like anxiety in a sense. Taking a shower and doing a skincare routine is completely within my comfort zone and I live for it. If I'm severely depressed, it's just physically exhausting. That's the bottom line. Showering and going to the grocery store feel like enormous things.
Same here! It wasn't that I thought I'd do anything to myself, I just remember feeling like I would never make it past 19. I had a early midlife crisis after reaching 19, all of a sudden I had to think about what I wanted to keep doing with my life. I'm glad you stuck it out; we don't struggle alone.
What I do is lie to myself saying “All I have to do right now is shower.” And after I’m eventually done with that, I say “All I have to do right now is eat anything, just try to be somewhat healthy.” I tell myself over and over that that’s all I have to do right now so I’m not distracted by my other thoughts and get sidetracked. I still struggle, (I’m trying to learn how to take breaks that last 5-25 minutes rather than 15 hour breaks)
Same here! I just erase my opinion about the shower & the mile walk & cleaning out the sink. "Just do this." No room for rumination, then suddenly it's done.
The fact that she said 2020 will be the greatest year for depression... when it's 6 years before covid is honestly scary and so true. Depression has become so heavy with covid
My thoughts exactly. I wondered if anyone caught that. Covid along with Veterans killing themselves on the daily, climate change and War in Ukraine...... isolation, division of our country, corruption..... *sorry, brain fart. Anyway, yes this was interesting 🤔
LyricsVillage Essentially it goes like this. Choose the very smallest thing that you could do to move you toward that shower. It could be as simple as just standing up next to your bed. You do not consider anything after that step. In fact your mind May start telling you that nothing is going to happen after that small step. Don’t argue with that voice. that voice may be completely correct but you do not care for this moment. you count to five, and immediately just take that small step. You will find that often there is a part of you that will push you to keep moving to the next step, and the next step after that. This has been helpful to me. If you like, I would be very happy to do a voice chat with you over messenger or something for additional examples. I have been where you are. I know how it feels. so if I can help you even a little bit that would be great. Let me know.
I just love how she explains how depression is disabling. Lots of people don't understand why I can't finish school or even keep my apartment clean. They are empathic to the way I feel but don't understand why I can't do these physical tasks.
Worst is when you so stuck and dying that you can’t even muster up strength to do simple tasks, watching your life fall apart and feel like you deserve it.
I have Cancer and I feel this way every day. Life is Worth Living. I haved LOVED my Life. I just want more. And to feel better. Depression sounds like Cancer.
Her: "by the year 2020 depression will be the second greatest disability in the world" Me and everyone else during the pandemic: "are you sure it aint number one of that list? check again"
On the bright side, the stigma of therapy is fading real freaking fast. People who never considered it or mocked it are heading to therapists faster than you can say, "universal healthcare"
Because she is telling her story, which is inspiring and it also lends a lot of credence to her advice, considering everything she has accomplished in the face of so many obstacles.
Damn.... my main issue with my depression is that I'm EXTREMELY unmotivated.... to do basic living skills and when I do a "normal" day.. I get extremely overwhelmed and have racing thoughts of how shit my life is... because I can never get things done. I went to school for 6 years and couldn't graduate.. I kept trying different classes and when I went to art school it got worse. I ended up on academic probation and then had to drop out :( I loved art and I want desperately want to graduate :( but my problem was never being able to finish any of my work on time or just not having the motivation to do any of it... then hating myself for not doing it in the first place and wanting to die because I just could never motivate myself no matter how much therapy I had or how many meds I took. The people there were so inconsiderate of mental health issues... bc if you missed one day you would be fucked... your grade would rely heavily on assignments and then there I was slacking and watching Netflix bc of my crippling anxiety and depression It sucks ass. It sucks so much because I know I'm talented and I know I'm smart. Even others and my professional advisors say so and that they all think I'm extremely intelligent... yet I can't get a degree because my project wasn't finished on time :/
Dear god. You just described my life in every aspect. I find it hard to do anything productive. I waste my time watching movies and playing games while simultaneously hating myself for doing so. Went to school a few times, a straight A student, I just cant motivate myself to get out of bed some mornings to go to school. So I dropped out, here I am, a intelligent person that can easily get a degree and find a great job but I have no motivation to do so.
I know exactly how you feel. For me, it was music - I'd spent years in voice lessons and assorted other lessons to prepare and I was going to be the next big thing in opera, but I dropped out of music school after one year. I spent most of my time in my dorm room watching TV. Came home, community college, many extended vacations and academic probations later and I may finally be graduating this semester. If I passed everything. I'm 34. Anyway, something I've never looked into is the Americans with Disabilities Act. If you qualify as an "A" with a "D", your school would have to make accommodations for you (like later due dates). It's just a thought. It would be extra nice if you had an advocate who could figure that out for you and make any calls like a parent or sibling.
oh my goodness. you have described how I feel to a T ive wanted to study nutrition for so long but dropped out becasue of my depression. i work in a shitty job which was only meant to be temporary and has lasted nearly 10 years. i lack confidence and motivation and even brushing me teeth seems overwhelming hard some days. i over think everuthing from my past where i think people hate me which makes me even worse. people say im smart and have potential but fear and depression hold me back. i feel i cant pick myself up to where i want to be. i hate myself for it.
oh my goodness. you have described how I feel to a T ive wanted to study nutrition for so long but dropped out becasue of my depression. i work in a shitty job which was only meant to be temporary and has lasted nearly 10 years. i lack confidence and motivation and even brushing me teeth seems overwhelming hard some days. i over think everuthing from my past where i think people hate me which makes me even worse. people say im smart and have potential but fear and depression hold me back. i feel i cant pick myself up to where i want to be. i hate myself for it.
When I'm depressed I shut down and just lay on the couch watching TV. Then I get overwhelmed by all I need to get done. Borderline hoarder. Then I'll get anxious and leave the house to avoid it more. Feel disappointed w/myself and isolated. That's a lot. Prayers please
She's trying to help as best SHE can, and she's sharing HER experience, y'all. She's definitely not going to reach everyone and tackle all personal struggles.. I appreciate this video soo much❣️
If one person is able to hear what she is saying. Then 1 person is help . I have depression depending on my state of mind Just the little thing that comes through for me gets me moving (slow pace) and the more I do move regardless the Pace I reach a point of being able to care for myself and take on other task I am in a good place right now I will take advantage of it the best I’m able At least I do function and feel ok sometimes Yes I’m working on strategies now
Okay... She talks about how it's difficult to finish work deadlines while depressed, I'm not really at that level. Taking a shower usually takes 45-60 minutes. If I go to the store and buy groceries, the big deed of the day is done. Taking a walk, that's bonus. Cooking something other than noodles or porridge is big bonus. And seeing friends ect is super bonus! Well, it simply doesn't happen... Also so envy at people who say "prevent depression when you feel it coming" - I'm down there all the time! I shift in a few days, sometimes hours, and I'm in different level of depression 80% of the time. And very often at the "I really need to take a showe, haven't done it for three days, I stink" and it takes 2 hour to undress, get in and get out. I'm trying new medications these last 6 months, still no luck. Just extreme anxiety and self harm after 7 years of being clean. It SUCKS to be bipolar. And I've never met anyone with so little "normal" state, I'm either depressed or sometimes mixed. I'm 29 years old, got my first depression at the age of 9. Got super ill between 16-22 with years of hospitalizations, often against my will, and now I live in a dessert. Never worked, maybe will be able to 10-25% in the future. I moved to my own place at 26. I've never had a proper relationship. I don't know... Everything just sucks. And who know - tomorrow I might have some good hours and think all I wrote is exaggerating. And when I get depressed again after that I feel so fake for having been positive. Sorry super depressing story... Just feels like this is a very good place to get some steam of. I feel like the people here might understand.
Aww... I can somehow relate but not fully.. my only advice is.. stop taking the medicines. And just... carry on. I don't know you, but I will always be there for you. I wish I could talk like this to everyone...
Linn Samir I understand what you mean. taking a shower is something that is truly difficult for me as well. I feel extremely accomplished when I can make myself do it, which then makes me feel pathetic. I'm lucky I met my husband during a period of my life where my depression/anxiety wasn't so bad, otherwise I would be single too. going to the grocery store requires a lot of mental preparation beforehand, sometimes all day. even though I hate going to work, when I have a steady job I feel like it forces me to have somewhat of a routine, and people to whom I am accountable. that "helps" in the sense that at least I don't become a full-time hermit. I understand you, but I think her suggestions are still relevant. they just need to be tailored to you. I also have a hard time thinking about how these things aren't hard for other people, or listening to people who say that you just need to toughen up or whatever. people who don't have these struggles can't possibly understand. I'm trying to learn to be gentle with myself and not so judgemental. I also think shame or guilt makes the depression much worse. sorry for such a long response with no real "solution" to your question, but hopefully it helps you to know you're not the only person on the planet who struggles with depression to this degree. it can be absolutely debilitating, I know. I do think cutting things down to "can I make myself do this for even 10 minutes?" helps, as well as knowing what is specifically difficult to you and WHY it is so hard. I think for the shower it is a big time-suck and I also don't like getting all wet sometimes. or being alone with my thoughts that long on bad days. so sometimes I'll just wash my hair over the side of the tub, or sometimes I will play music and sing while I'm in the shower to make it seem more doable. I think trying to figure out why it's hard for you might help you in creating solutions. anyway, sorry again for such a long response, and I hope you are having a good day :)
I can't manage to do anything you've mentioned. I'm 24/7 in bed. Sometime not even the sense to wear my PJs. My life is just hopeless and meaningless. And the worst thing about that is that it's not only a feeling, not only the depression that forces me to feel like that. It IS my life. My situation is that awful that there's no escape from it anymore. ANd I can't handle this.
luticia please find someone to talk to. you shouldn't have to go through life feeling this way. no situation lasts forever, even though it can feel like it will always be this bad. I grew up with an abusive mother and a father who didn't care enough to save me from her. I started counting down the days when I would turn 18 starting when I was 10. I made elaborate plans of running away at 6th grade camp. on the worst days I thought of taking a bottle of sleeping pills so I could go to sleep and not have to deal with life anymore. I tried to escape by calling cps on my mother, but they just interviewed her and took her word for it. my life was hell, and because I was a kid there was literally no way out of my situation. so I understand that feeling. but even though it took years, it did end. I don't know your personal situation, but I just mean to say no situation is permanent and there is always hope for change. if you can't change the crappy circumstance, at least find someone you can talk to (a school counselor, a doctor, a teacher, a friend, a relative, a friend's parent, even a stranger). I hope you find some peace. you are not alone.
Jennifer Frisk Hi well-disposed Jennifer :-) thank you so very much for your caring, your time, your effort and your thoughts you've put into this message. Also thank you for being open and honest about your own situation. As I read your home situation and als the things you did, and tried and thought I felt like you had talked about me. It's only 2 weeks ago as I called the police on my mother! 4 came but my mother is so manipulative and a fucking liar (not because she want to be mean but because of her own coping mechanism; she's emotional very weak, can't face the realtiy and her own feelings), instead of talking to her they to me into the award. I was SO angry. But fortunately after 1 hr stay they literally opened the door and I could go because as the docs talked to me they realized that everything is fine w me and It's about my mother. I guess, you were also never respected or even accepted by your mother and always craved for her appreciation, her attention and her love? That's me. For 37 years I've begged my mother to see me and appreciate and love me for who I am. Never happened. Never will happen. Since the police thing I've realized it and don't have the urge to try again. But still I've got to struggle A LOT w all the emotional abuse my mother did to me. I've got also a father like you who can't manage to stand up and speak for me also when he realized what my mother does to me. Yes, I think your idea with talking is great and healthy and this is also my desire and I am a very open and honest person BUT I'm searching and searching and nobody wants to get involved in such problems. People want to have fun and not getting involved to deep into soul stuffs, feelings and problems. They ignore or run away and those who stay, stay only for 5 minutes and are going later. I've got a therapist but not getting along with this person currently. I need her too much and she can't give satisfy my needs. I don't have a functioning family who support me. I have literally nobody. Also no friends. I've lost all as I've become anorexic. People are afraid if you don't eat and get thiner. Thank you again for your message. It was really hearty of you. You've sent some positive vibes into the universe. You'll see it will come back to you!! I'm a strong believer when it comes to universe, vibrations etc. Tight hugs xxxxx
Handling depression with a highly stressful job. I’m starting to pay attention when I’m starting to enter into a episode of depression: falling asleep in my work clothes, loss of energy, not wanting to brush my teeth. It’s really difficult, but I’m starting to develop a plan for when it hits so I can get back on track
I know. I didn't laughed, but my eyes bugged out and my jaw dropped. I was like, "Easy?" No, that's the point. Nothing is easy. Whenever I think about taking a shower, I think, "Why bother?" Making decisions like what to eat or what to wear are exhausting. I do take my meds and keep all my medical appointments. And I do stop myself when I start having thoughts I know are going to make things worse. I will say, "No! No, you're getting up. We aren't going down that road." And I'll get up and start doing something constructive,- no matter how minor, like putting one thing away. Something that can just be temporary or something that has a definite place I keep it. The point is that it either requires no decision or I allow myself to put something away "for now", even if it's not in the best place or the final place, just so it's out of my way and I feel less overwhelmed by having to constantly move around stuff. (I rent a room and I often don't even have a flat surface on which to eat that isn't covered w/ stuff, and I don't have a chair, so I use my bed as a table and chair.) Decisions are crazy difficult for me. It will take me a couple of hours to buy food at the grocery store when a normal person could do it in 20 minutes. I am just exhausted afterward.
Those are "normally easy" tasks that became very hard to do during an episode. That's why they are labeled "easy" to remind an ill person that their disorders are just telling lies. And what do we do when we know something's a lie? NOT GIVE IN AND BELIEVE IT.
I have both depression and anxiety. Sometimes, the only thing I want to do is get up to use the bathroom, and even then, I wait until I absolutely can't hold it anymore because my bathroom is in an upstairs area. My family, and people who are like my family, don't understand how hard it is for me, and people like me, to even get up in the morning. Taking a shower, eating, putting on clothes to even get through the day... these are all things that are challenges to me. I work at a pizza place in my town, where it's busy all afternoon; the line is to the door all the time. Since waking up proves to be a huge challenge, going to work, in comparison, seems like the biggest challenge of my life. I break down and cry, and go into a panic attack every day before going into work. I go in, work, and come home exhausted, contemplating how I'm going to survive the next work day. Getting out of bed, when I absolutely need to, takes about an hour. Showering takes about an hour, maybe an hour and a half. Getting dressed takes another 30 minutes. Getting ready the rest of the way takes about 20 minutes, which isn't bad compared to the rest. This process also involves a lot of crying, self hatred, and panic attacks, so eventually, the time just increases more and more. I don't have a bad life. My father yelled at me a lot when I was younger, and didn't really hang around me when I was over at his house (shared parenting) because he would've rather slept. I didn't understand this as a kid, but being grown up... I understand that he was in pain too, and I think that's where I get it from. My dad now is nothing like he was when I was younger. He's a lot nicer now, and actually stays motivated, but I digress. My mother is nice to me, even if she does call me lazy, and yell at me when I struggle to do something, or get upset when I barely get to work on time. She's nice to me most of the time, and my family tries to be supportive of me whenever they can be. There's no reason I should feel the way I do, but I do anyways. I contemplate dying on a daily basis, and realize that I don't necessarily want to die, but I don't want to live anymore either. I'm constantly in pain, and I can't seem to make this sinking feeling in my chest go away. I've been this way since 5th grade, and it has never been any different. I feel bad for my girlfriend because she is probably the most supportive, and most genuine, human being I've ever known, and yet I'm still this way, and it's only gotten worse. I'm 18 years old now, just graduated, and am now going to college for accounting, which is about to change to marketing instead. I still live at home, and I'm hoping to find a place to rent within the next year. I'm ashamed of who I've become, and how many people I disappoint on a daily basis, and I just want to feel happy again, but I don't think I ever will again. I know this is all kinda scattered and depressing, so I'm sorry for all of that. I just needed to get things off my chest.
I hear you. I understand. I hope you can keep going. I have found meds and therapy to be somewhat helpful. I found electroshock to be quite helpful, but it's obviously harder to get.😕 Best wishes.
I’m just reading your post 2 years on and hope you’re doing okay. Can I just share that I don’t think your childhood and upbringing were okay at all? Your parents may have done the best they could, but their best was still incredibly damaging. I would encourage you to look into developmental trauma, also known as Complex PTSD. A lot of depression comes from this - most people in the comments section here probably have it, honestly - and without getting to the root of it, all other treatments and medications will only be a band-aid. I hope this reaches you and is helpful.
I feel the same way, not that I feel a lot of anything anymore. You may never read this, but if you do is there any way you can tell me how you got through it? I'm 16, but I don't know how many more years I can live feeling like this.
@Samantha Payne Thank you for replying and I know that I should get help, but I have a hard time doing so when I feel guilty for feeling this way in the first place. I was never traumatized or anything, nothing bad really happened to me. I guess I feel I'll be judged because there is no real reason I feel like this.
It’s like depression is quicksand, & the more I try to actively fight it, the deeper I go. Yet somehow the moment I stop resisting it, I stop sinking so fast; but I’m still sinking nonetheless.
Great description Kame. I hope you're feeling better thesis days. I really thought this video was going to help me but came away feeling a bit worse for all her energy and sorting thru and categorizing all her chores and grading them on difficulty. I was exhausted by her accomplishments.
Yes, I compare it to a car moving with the handbrake active, yes you can press the throttle harder, but it consumes that much more fuel and the car takes damage on the process The solution it to release the handbrake
I love how she is talking about getting to know YOUR symptoms of depression and getting to know the signs early on. For me, it is waking up and getting out of bed. If I stay in too long, it will get me. :)
I just now realised it’s the same for me, I’m watching this in bed at noon and realising that maybe it’s going to get me today… nice insight, I must get out now hahaha
Amanda Grace, just don't give into that lazy spirit! You were designed to be more than a conqueror! I hope things have improved for you 2 years on. If not, ask God for His help. One little decision at a time with His help, you will be amazed!
don't give in to that voice. Talk yourself into being productive...even if only in a small way. One step at a time. It sounds insulting when Jessica says: 'Depression takes practise', but don't allow yourself to feel offended. Instead think, 'productivity or positivity also takes practise'...& force yourself to make the right choice. One will drag you down, the other WILL lift you up. Choose wisely & you'll feel so pleased with yourself. That's something those of us battling depression lack: feeling pleased with ourselves! Let's give ourselves something to be proud of. It's not what others say or think about us that counts. It's what we think, do & say about ourselves that counts. Bragging about ourselves when we've done nothing to be proud of, doesnt make us feel better about ourselves. It's making an effort that counts! Remember: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!! :)
I watched this 4 years ago when I was going through a bad agoraphobia and depressed time. I had 20 seconds of inspiration one morning from I don't know where, and I emailed a nonprofit asking to volunteer. They emailed me back the same day with a very friendly email and asked to meet me. 6 months later, they offered me a fulltime job and my whole life has changed. Nutrition was also extremely important to my recovery. My vitamin D was very low, that causes depression. And my faith in Jesus of course also helped. I hope this helps someone else. If you have even 20 seconds of some energy, take a chance like I did.
“As students stepped over my limp body in a rush to get to class. So...” *Uh, hold up...What?!* She collapsed, fell down the stairs & people just stepped over her? How could everyone not be concerned & try to help her? Who does that!?! 😳
I thought the same thing! I don't know any situation except a panic (getting to class is not a panic), like getting out of a burning building, in which people would behave like that. Even in emergencies there are people who are kind & courageous & level-headed enough to help others! So for people to just step over someone who obviously needs help is incredible.
@@123litera4 in the beginning of time, we did not have mass communication and social media to read or see this played out to form a visual imprint in our heads of how selfish and narcissistic people are. Today it's in our face every day. I'm an artist, and it's even very hard to turn off those images to immerse ourselves into being in a state of creativity. I think you can relate to that. The younger you are, the more you don't get it because you don't really know life without that that behavior played out daily.
Sometimes I'll get shower, get dressed, put on make up but then can't bring myself to actually leave the house. Sometimes I'll sit down to write or accomplish something, get everything I need in one place, make a plan and then can't seem to do it. It's so strange. Most of the time I try to power through and I always feel better once I've actually accomplished something. But even logically knowing that, it's hard to do. I think my depression triggers when I lose direction and purpose. When I have a job and I'm working toward something, I do great. But once that job ends I'm in the wind again and it's hard to get it together to get another job.
Marissa B oh my God, Marissa. I thought I was alone in this. I’m a songwriter and everything you described is exactly what I’ve been going through for the past few years. I don’t know what to do. I’m miserable because I find it so hard to write. I’m just so unmotivated. I hope you find your inspiration and motivation. Much love.
I wanted to say that this video has really practical advice. While, YES, in the midst of depression this advice isn't going to cure you, but if you suffer from episodic forms of depression then this is thoughtful advice that could help alleviate your next spiral to the bottom of despair. I appreciate this video.
I'm 25 now and dealing with a major depressive episode. Just recently I realised that it was depression and that I've been living with it all my life. The one thing I struggle with so much is the inertia. Just getting up or taking a shower, or putting yoghurt in my breakfast bowl somehow seem impossible.
I procrastinate a lot it's horrible. I didn't study for any exam this semester and barely got passing marks. I don't want to be like this I feel useless
I’m so behind on schoolwork. Right now I’m procrastinating an essay due a week ago. The teacher even changed the deadline for me. Yet I am still sitting here on youtube when it’s due by the end of today. I don’t know what to do :(
I’ve Been depressed for over 20 years of my life. I’ve lost jobs dropped out of school etc. Working out was my outlet and now I can’t even bring myself to do that anymore😢
God bless you! ✨✨ I totally understand! I currently have to pack up my entire apartment and I promise you I am considering leaving everything behind, honestly.
breathe! we're here with you :) Feel your body alive. fuck all these rules we humans made and focus on what makes you apprechiate it all... this precious life! For example it is nature for me! Even just looking at damn good documentaries and the way the wild works, makes me feel so precious and so alive. Like we humans are part of this rustic nature and always will be. I truly hope everyone who reads this finds his or her true reminder of this magical life
berrybluee Thank you. It's time for something different. I got up, fed myself and I am going to walk my dog. I'm already feeling better. I have a plan and I'm going to get my old job back, just for socializing and connecting. I'm going to finish the chores I should have done yesterday.
Sam Banfield Don't let that feeling lead your actions, it's not real and it's not you. I wish you strength and resiliance to overcome this. Please seek help.
This all sounds horrifically exhausting. Who has time to keep a planner? Between the crippling apathy, the crying spells, and taking care of my cat, I'm simply all booked up.
@@roselimonta please don't tell someone with MDD that it seems like they don't want to get better. There is always a point, the point is that's the mental illness talking.
lovez159 im just saying 🤷🏽♀️ if you just change your mindset dealing w depression could be easier. I mean thats how i got better, thats the only way it works. Unless you want to be miserable forever. & I know its easier said than done. I know its an its a real illness trust me. But the first step to treating it is to actually try.
I try to visualise myself happy, and doing the things I want to do. The other thing is. Don’t let “feel” dictate what you do. Not always easy. But just cause you don’t feel like doing something, doesn’t always mean don’t do it. Just do it anyway, and you’ll feel better about yourself after and for sticking to you discipline and winning.
oh my goodness, it's kind of comforting to read some comments and know you are not alone with your problems. We must keep fighting, sisters and brothers🙌
I 💯 agree with you. She said that she exercises “more than normal” when she starts to feel depressed, yet she has this chronic muscle disease? The myasthenia gravis episodes must not overlap with the depression. I find this story hard to believe.
@JJT 07 True, also when your stomach is grumbling and you know you're hungry and you have food literally 5 steps away from you, it's hard to actually get up, take those few steps and eat. Happens to me so often. When it's that severe, the only thing that helps me is planning the next 1 min activity like I'll write 1315 - inhale 1316 - smile 1317 - sit upright in bed, 1318 - open youtube 1319 - stand up 1320 - plan again and so on. This has immensely helped me with eating food and drinking water. Showering is a level 2 activity for me and by now I have accepted it - dry shampoo and perfume to the rescue when I still have to go out. Ugh it's hard.
@JJT 07 I know right... and on top of that I'm in denial most of the times thinking I'm fine or I'll finish something super quick when I can, now and then it works but most of the times it doesn't and it sucks. I took medication last year and it felt really good, but i didn't want to take it for the rest of my life so I went off of it and every now and then it's like the depression comes back....
@JJT 07 Aww Thank you, I really hope and wish that it gets easier for you too 😊 I sometimes think of a bigger picture and how many things I enjoy and love about life in general and that helps in the long term too. I had my meal, I hope you eat something as well!
This woman is very inspiring, even if her tips are much harder in execution. I've struggled with depression all my life. It's so hard to be positive - it's simply not natural with this kind of mental illness. A huge part of it is the lack of recognition from others. It's 10x harder to motivate yourself and get things done when the rest of the world trivialises or negates your suffering.
Yeah this video just made me feel more depressed because of all her accomplishes versus mine and then the fact that she saying she’s depressed but can achieve all these things yeah my depression doesn’t work like that
preparing for future depression episodes would also take not being depressed. You can prepare all you want by rating tasks, etc, but when you are depressed what would make you follow your self-prepared steps for stopping the depression? How can you make yourself do the things that will help you make yourself do things? I feel like I learned nothing from this, except that this woman fought her depression. Good for her.
I don't think she really knows what a bad " or serious depression is like. IMHO, Anyway. I don't get that impression from her really . Everyone feels blue or down at times, but a real depression affects you allot! You can even tell by many of the comments on this thread!! Well, whatever, I guess. 🤕😓😣
wow - I am so happy to hear that, @Lindsay Brunson. I have a book coming out that goes into more depth than my TEDx Talk. It has a special section on school. Keep fighting!
Jessica Gimeno My last two years I was always depressed, anxious, my stress developed asthma, I have an impression that I just can't do anything. You brought me hope. I want to fight, even if it takes a lot of time and strenght... Thank You.
Actually, Elisabeth n, that's exactly who will benefit most from her talk, so long as you try & don't mock it & cling to the depression as a friend you need to protect. Depression is NOT your friend. It's your enemy, stealing your life & forcing you to co-operate. Give it a kick in the pants & just try one little challenge each day & see how good it will make you feel at the end of one month! Just try & don't give up
maybe,, however it's your choice to keep searching for that thing which your inner-self telling you it's the right solution, it's your own life journey.. make it to the end whatever happened/happening..
@@Rustybear59 real depression or not, best to try a positive approach, than curl up with depression & convince yourself there's nothing that can be done. Better to cling to hope than hopelessness.
@@jennymullins593 and this is why when one has depression prefers to isolate themselves. You can’t be really positive with depression. It makes everything worse, it makes you feel worse for not being able to do so when people keep telling you as if it were an easy goal to pursue; but for you is almost impossible, drowning you more. Sometimes, having someone being there willing to listen to you when you need to is way better than those positive coaches speeches
I love this thread! Feels connected and supported. I just hope after this week of finals I can drag myself to do some exercise. Wish you all have a productive week! And remember that we aren't alone
Jessica Oudbier hey, how u doing now? I can totally relate to it....even m facing similar problems..it is so difficult for me to take a bath or to cook food or to clean the house...and so many more things....I spend most of the time inside my blanket...I wish this gets over soon...m falling behind at my work too 🙁
I'm still in a depressive slump here too. Thank you for asking! Today, I put pants on and then immediately auto-piloted back to bed. It feels like a car stuck in the snow. You start, spin wheels, shut down, try again. But you know what, it does end. Eventually it has to end. Sometimes your options to make the pain stop are literally just suicide or wait. A lot of people don't like to admit that depression gets to that point, but it does. In those instances, I advise waiting. If that means saying "I can hang on for one more youtube video" and then repeating that until you can get help, go for it. I've been there. As for work, tiny chunks. Start with getting your work out. Your papers, your pens, your computer. Whatever. If you need to stop for blanket time, cool, you're operating on depression time, not mythical normal person time. Does any of this help? I just washed three dishes before crumpling into a sobbing heap. In a few, I'm going to do a few more. It sucks. But eventually, I can say "Yes! Dishes!"
Jessica Oudbier "Yes" "Pants" -- that made me smile!
Před 7 lety+1
Jessica Oudbier starting anything is hard because you have to make a decision. i rented a studio with a drumset for 4 hours and i have one left... I'm lookng for motivation so i can start practicing but i ve wasted 3 hours doing that.
This story is inspirational. During the times that I'm deeply depressed, I can barely function. I struggle to clean myself, sleep too much and eat too much. The thing that stood out to me is that you need to address your issues as soon as you see them (before it turns to full scaled depression). I think for everyone struggling it's definitely good to start with just getting up and folding the bed. At times that's a big win and can help you continue to do more good for yourself.
peace and love I agree 100% it's so hard to get stuff done and I always put things off and end up more depressed that I didn't get something done on time.
Does anyone else find this kind of demotivating even while admiring and appreciating her? Just the fact that with 5 diseases she can be so productive and polished yet with no diseases I've done nothing with my life. WTF is wrong with me? How do I stop being totally useless?
i feel the same.. i'm now 22 and i think that i can't do like how she did it.. plus, i'm struggling with my university life and much worse when i just only have a year left to finish my study. but here i am terrified to do anything
She's too young to give this talk. I was able to cope at her age just as well as she does. I'm over FIFTY. Once I hit menopause, life just started going downhill. And the meds? They don't make new meds fast enough for people like me. You end up going through ALL of them and you're SCREWED.
to be fair we don't know her whole life story. we don't know about every single one of her failures the way we know our own. comparing her to ourselves is unfair
For me, getting proactive is listening to affirmations, or reading comments of people going through the same when I feel isolated, or watching videos like these. It helps most of the time.
God bless you!! I also broke up a few years ago and I went into depression and was even suicidal. And then I thought that life has so much to offer, so many more places to travel and most importantly so many more and better people to meet (: life will test you for sure and it's not the smartest people who'll succeed but it's the ones who are the most compatible with changes and can bounce back after they fall. Good luck with life!!! We are all together.
vaccine injury? Plus food sensitivity? I have a similar story and I am vaccine injured- not realised until adulthood. lazy eyes as a small kid, stomach problems, ear and tonsil infections constantly- asthma- fatigued- over weight and had ups and downs. I was also clever and creative. A bit odd and often described as an old soul, I was very sensitive (i now have autistic kids and see similarities. We have had genetic testing- NAD which concludes loosely, that we have the same environmental sensitivities that lead to autistic symptoms) As an adult I am seemingly bipolar 2 although bipolar is often the diagnosis given to adult autistics who have not been previously diagnosed. I also have Psoriatic arthritis (auto immune problem) and I'm in my 20's. I'm a nurse, artist and entrepreneur. I sincerely hope the Jessica comes across what I have realised to be neurological injury further irritated by food intolerance that disrupt tight junction function causing leaky gut syndrome which causes neurological symptoms such as anxiety, twitches or ticks, irritation and mood swings in varying degrees( inflamed brain). If your brain is inflamed one must think about autoimmune response and how it can effect other areas of the body. In my self I have manifested Psoriatic arthritis and chronic sinusitis and Bipolar like symptoms ( possibly ASD). I know this is a mouth full but I hope it is helpful to someone
Very well said; the ending is formidable. Let`s not rely only on pills and resign ourselves for the disease to domain us. Let's keep on trying. I hope we can. :)
I find I can still complete most tasks when I'm depressed, only they take me so much longer and get drastically delayed. Also, I find I don't feel fulfilled after completing the tasks, so there's no sense of reward for my intense effort. Depression for me is like going through the motions of living like I am an actor in a movie. A movie such as Groundhog Day. There seems to be a screen that blocks my soul from my experience, I'm removed from life somehow.
Ashima Rajput my favorite books are the hardcore self help books by Robert Duff for a sort of intro into CBT and help. and then The Upward Cycle: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the course of depression one small step at a time. neither is a replacement for mental health, but are good stopgaps. also maven healthcare let's you video chat with medical professionals and has a mental health option and there is talkspace which is online therapy if you can afford either if those options
This video hasn't gotten as many likes as Justin Beaver's "Sorry", but I want Jessica and the entire TED team to know, that this was remarkably helpful and inspiring for a lot of people. Even if you help ONE person, that's already an accomplishment... You helped hundreds and probably thousands of people with this video. Thank you.
My depression began when my fiance didn't want to work things out anymore and we had a 5mth old baby too. We sold our house because I couldn't keep up with all the bills thought we could start over and rented a house but one month into it she didn't want to do it anymore. Then 2mths later my daughter from a previous relationship had her own mental issues and tried to hurt herself. And this all started when the first lockdown began. It affected my work and I had many fleeting suicidal thoughts at work and on my drive home which felt like forever. Then I became physically ill beginning of 2022 Dr said it was septic arthritis not sure how it happened either. Being in the hospital with covid restrictions added to my depression. Almost dying on my birthday because my heart reached 217 and my birthday was on Feb 17th was a terrifying coincidence and I accepted I was about to die and die alone. Being out of 2 hospitals, then finding out I have superficial thrombophlebitis, gout then covid was the last. But also being in a current relationship, with all the back and forth arguing because she worried all the time about my health and worried about her health and mental health as well. I blamed myself for being sick. I didn't know and understand what I was feeling. I denied it. Buried it. It's been 2yrs feeling worthless, useless, sad, alone, unmotivated, lost, etc. I accepted it. I accepted the depression but I didn't want to believe it and didn't want to be weak. But I did and I cried so hard. I just thought it was too late to get help but I am.
I started crying. A year ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar II (also second opinion diagnosed) and since then I've felt like nothing. And two years before that I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease, which while not as debilitating of an autoimmune disease as you have, it changed my life. I feel like getting that diagnosis really contributed to my depression. And then I just kept getting worse and worse. I also had a very similar childhood with the ups and downs, though mine started when I was about 12. It's just so hard for me to get things done when I'm depressed. I'm really thankful I found this video. Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom!
I have BP2 and Celiac. Getting those was a relief. My problems finally made sense and I actually felt BETTER. Then I hit menopause. But that's another story.
I found this really helpful. Here's a quick summary: 1. Be proactive know the symptoms of your depression and undertake the strategies that work for you ex. under/over sleeping and eating, exercise and therapy (or faith or friends or family or reading) 2. Urgency rate tasks on a to-do list: today: 4 stars, tmrw 3, this week 2, next week 1 when depressed, only do 3 or higher 3. Difficulty easy tasks, like eating or taking a shower, 1 moderate, 2 difficult, like making a work deadline, 3 when depressed, do all the easy ones first to gain momentum also, turn your hard tasks into easy ones by breaking them down
I make a “goal of the day”. I start with one, and allow it to be the only one. Something simple that I know I can do that day. Usually what happens is, after I complete that goal, I feel just a little bit better. so I make another easy goal. Completing little goals makes me feel better so that’s why I do it this way. Also, I leave the option open to be glad I completed the goal, and then rest for the remainder of the day.
In 15 minutes you have identified and presented the most critical element lacking in the mental health system. Learning and developing life-skills necessary to continue to function when the darkness comes. You recognize everybody's symptoms and strategies are different. Medical professionals can learn from you on how to allow individuals challenged with mental illness to lead fulfilling lives. Bless you for the inspiration tips!
There is a woman named Mary Ellen Copeland who created the WRAP system. (Wellness Recovery and Action Program) that you should check out. It's a way to plan in advance for a depressive or other mental health episode and has steps you can take at each level (from trigger to hospitalization), so it's quite comprehensive.
Wow she really achieved a lot of things. No wonder she has so much confidence. Unlike us average people with crippling depression and scars on our arms.
I have been living with depression for 7 years. My family denies that depression is real. But I know that denying the existence and debilitating effect of depression won't do anything good. So I decided to stop asking them for help and started taking steps to deal with depression. I don't know how I'm still alive but I am.
Never was I depressed in my life until recently ...I started to feel the sense of emptiness and the lack of interest in everything. I m afraid of sleeping because of the bad thoughts I have when my eyes are closed. I m doing my best to overcome this by occupying every day with different tasks and have kept a checklist. I dunno if that will really cure my depression completely but I m doing all I can to overcome my suicidal tendencies and continue to be productive. the good thing is I can still eat properly - no overeating or losss of appetite. I just hope that theres something I can look forward to in my life so I dont see nothing but a dark tunnel ahead of me.
@Gem Pony: thanks for bravely sharing. Sorry to hear how hard you've had it! Have you seen a professional yet (psychiatrist)? That is a good place to start. Being busy can help but it isn't enough.
No I havent. I m not ready to share my feelings and thoughts to others. And I think going to see psychiatrist is costly and I prefer not to take meds. I have got a bit better lately by keeping a journal and to-do list so I feel like I have accomplished something each day. Your suggestions are very helpful and I will keep fighting.
+Jessica Gimeno: I have found mental health professionals to be indescribably helpful in a lifetime of mental illness! Psychiatrists? Not so much, in fact occasionally I found them harmful. But social workers with masters degrees, they were consistently very helpful most of the time. ❤️👍🌟💪👏😊
I found exercise helpful to my general mood and energy levels. And not eating junk food too often. Although to be fair, getting yourself up and ready and doing a workout is 10x harder! But even a walk is good for your brain, it doesn't have to be a big thing. If you're not ready to speak to someone, maybe get some books from the library or bookshop or online, self-help books about happiness and motivation can be really beneficial and contain lots of nuggets of wisdom. Good luck, hope you feel better soon! x
So perfectly explained.. it is the hardest thing. because you're afraid to stay alive, and even to be happy cause you know you'll experience the emptiness soon enough. people should take depression seriously, even if a medical reason can't be found. for me i've had to learn more about the physical aspects, how what you eat and lack of moving might take you down just as much as bad news. it can be out of your control but you can in fact control certain things that even have been proven to help. so take care of your body and mind. lots of love.
I am the male version of Jessica. But, I look and do feel very ill. She looks good. The problem in my case is I have a severe autoimmune illness that has no name. It makes me feel bad because of the wide-ranging symptoms. Some days, I just hurt. But it’s not fibromyalgia. I’m not chemically depressed, but I do struggle with insomnia because...I hurt. So, I’m here with all of you, humbly sharing a bit of my experience.
This helped. I can recognize my symptoms now, but I never thought of what I could do proactively to stave off the worst of it or maybe get through it better. Instead it would bring on a sense of fear and despair. But after watching this I can wrap my head around it, in the middle of a depressive episode.
Edit 11/27/2020: it's been well over a year now but uhhh things are better lads and lasses :) good luck out there “I had a happy childhood” can’t relate lmao Also, I wish that stuff like showering or eating or even just taking my meds was easy. I wish I could do things, be motivated or happy and be able to get things done. I can’t do that. Nothing is easy, nothing seems to help. I try and try and try and try and I cannot do anything and not doing things I know I have to do makes things worse
I also have trouble showering, doing regular tasks; especially in winter. I've got decent roommates. I'm in a group. I try to think less about what I "have to do" and more about "what can i do now?" People kept telling me i was too hard on myself - that was tricky! I had to correct myself withOUT being harsh LOL. Good hunting.
This is wonderful. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 13, rapid cycling bipolar disorder and adhd in high school, major anxiety about two years ago to the point of agoraphobia, and polycystic ovarian syndrome and ocd this year. She is very strong, I have a lot of respect for her. Not everyone will understand the struggles of mental illness and it's frustrating. I know anyone watching this video is most likely going through something themselves and I want to let you know that I believe in you.
Sarah Surowka Hello Im 13.. Im depressed because of family issues and many other issues can you please tell me how you got diagnosed? I really need help, I don’t know what to do. I want to see a doctor but I don’t want to mention anything to my family.
Go to see your guidance counselor at school. Because your 13, they have a right to know if your counselor thinks they need to. But it's good that you want to seek help, and no matter what, see your school counselor.
Sarah Surowka By the time I was 13 I was also diagnosed with ADHD, Dysmithia, Bipolar and an anxiety disorder that I can even pronounce. I'm 18 and I've graduated high school with honours. Do I feel pride because of that accomplishment? No not really. But I know I must fight my mind everyday, every hour and every minute of my life and I do not often win. I know I will keep losing battles but I must win the war with my mind
I have toothpaste in my hair. I can't brush it out and I don't have time to shampoo this morning. The day is going by and I have errands to run and people to see. I'm trying to take notes from your TED Talk in my Mental Hygiene Journal. I made a mistake, got up to look for the White-out, but I couldn't find it. Instead I found the butter wrapped up in wax paper, left on the table from the night before. I noticed how small of a piece of butter that it was. I put it in the refrigerator and open to the freezer for a new stick of butter. I still haven't found the White-out. I don't like scratching things out in my journal. It makes me feel less than. I want to finish listening to your Ted Talk now. I want to enter my notes in my journal before I forget. Getting out the door has more stars then the things I want to do. I also have a laundry list of health problems. We're not alone. Only your own Ted and I'm sitting here in my kitchen with toothpaste in my hair. Thanks for the advise. You're a good kid. I wish you all good things.
To hear of depression being an “episode” for most people is a level of relief, that the rest of you might not feel anything close to how I do. Live well, nothing matters but your happiness people... Just don’t try to convince me the same for myself.
mspixiedust100 I have chronic depression and I read the bible at least 10 minutes every day. It doesn't make me any less depressed, but maybe it counts for something in the long run. I am still alive, after all, however much I may hate the fact, I have no plans to change it.
+ Eleanor Tischler - I respect your beliefs. But have in mind that pathological depression is like cancer, in other words: it gets worse if not treated, so treatment is crucial. I suppose the bible brings you calm and hope, but if you are dealing with disease, professional help is required. Good luck to you.
Hi Julia, Just wanted to let you know you are not alone! My daughter and I have the same problem. My daughter also spent 6 years in art school and finally had to give up completely due to the same issues. I have suicidal Ideation as well, like there is a separate person in my brain constantly telling me to end it, even when I'm happy. Both of us have tried anti-depressants/bi-polar meds/anxiety pills, but nothing works. I think there needs to be more research on "motivation" and how it applies to depression. Watching this Dr. is a yes and no for me. I have gotten much better by "letting things go," but know that just writing things down has never worked for me. I have learned to smile when I'm sad (fake yourself happy); meditate; say mantras; stretch or do yoga; eat healthy & ask for help when I need it (and yes, this is the hardest one as NO ONE wants to help you). I have learned to accept it as if I had lost a leg or arm, but struggle every day with the fact that it will never completely go away. For everyone out there that is having problems, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!
I am 23 years old and a senior in college. I am so close to graduating but over the past two semesters I have failed a class for the first time and I am about to fail that class again due to depression and borderline personality disorder. I have recently been diagnosed with a degenerative spinal disease and that pain + my mental illness has been so debilitating. I am afraid that I am going to get kicked out of school if I don't get my stuff together. I needed this today. It was on my "recommended" and I have no idea how or why, but this is exactly what I needed. I feel like I've been sliding through life with my mental illnesses for too long. Thank you.
@pinkieskeelo: I'm glad you found my talk. I admire your perseverance; the days can be so hard I'm sure. If you sign up for my free Depression Tool Kit, it has scripts for talking to professors to ask for accommodations for mental illness. (I can't post a link to Fashionably ill here; I'm not sure if I can but you can google it.) Also I have a book coming out about getting stuff done when you are depressed; it will have a special section for students in school. You're welcome, Jessica
Depression is a war that you have to keep fighting. For many of us it is a war that cannot be won. But you can win battles. You can fight to see another day. And another. And another.
I just watched your Ted Talk with the hope of helping a friend with depression. It's wonderful and it helped me immensely also. I have a chronic autoimmune disease. I have good days and bad days and I do get down sometimes on a sick day. When I feel like this again I will think of your tips, your struggles and how you're killing it. I will say to myself if Jessica can do it, so can I! Thank you so much for sharing your personal story that I will carry with me always as a tool to help me cope with my incurable disease.
She is so inspiring! I am watching this as I am having a relapse right know, she really motivates me to take action and to make the best of it. Thank you very much. And for everyone else, keep fighting! ✊🏽
"Being depressed leads to falling behind and falling behind leads to more depression 😔" this summarises it so perfectly
Exactly!!! 😢
YES. I’ve never been able to put it so simply and perfectly
Yep, the vicious f***ing cycle
Hmm ❤️
I don't understand why people casually talks about depression, it's worse than disease!
Doing normal stuff when you are depressed takes sooooooooo much strength. No one without depression will ever be able to understand this. I don’t know how I managed living with depression for 4 years. I tried to take my life because I couldn’t bare it anymore. I didn’t want to die, I just couldn’t bare living anymore.
Hello Sues Anna,
You've managed b/c you're a smart and strong person. Those who are burdened with depression or other ailments have to overcome obstacles that others do not. This gives you an insight and an understanding that others don't have. Unfortunately, that insight only applies to the outside world. When it's turn inwards, demand it to be kind and thoughtful. Don't let that inner voice diminish or criticize you beyond reason and prevent you from enjoying moments within a day.
Sincerely,
Random stranger
You are loved
Same sis
Sorry that was a bit insensitive, but really, i know exaclty what you go through. I'm currently desperately trying to read through a mage of a book for class i sould've read 2 weeks go. It sunday, tomorrow i have to go to school, and I haven't done any homework over the Christmas break
Never give up..keep doing the best you can. Love yourself, forgive yourself and know you have every right to be here and to move towards being the best you can...faults in all! You are a beautiful piece of light. We all are! It took a lot of strength to write your comment. You are stronger than you think! Just do your best to the normal stuff....who cares if you only do one thing...celebrate that! Love and light warrior!
Have anxiety, depression while being a perfectionist. Really bad combination
Edit: back here after over 2 years. reading all of the stories in the comments makes my heart hurt for all of you and i hope you are getting better. sending love and courage
I'm with you, but add in asthma and random debilitating sciatica and homeschooling a child. Ever want to feel completely worthless? Skip schooling your kid because you can't get up then let the hate compound.
I didn't mean that to be so negative.
I don't care for this woman. I'm bipolar too, but I don't have normal times. I have very brief, (much rarer than when I was younger,) bursts of manic energy, but usually my mania manifests in short, frequent bursts of rage and the rest of the time, I'm depressed. There is no preparing.
Being a perfectionist is the main cause
Yes it really is!! I couldn't agree more about that. 😟😟😟😝😝😝
@@ArcasDevlin hugs to you!!! (((Arcas)))) tgc!! I will say prayers for you!! GBU! 😥😥😥😥
The worst. Why do anything?..."it's not good enough". 🥴🥺😦
If you have severe depression finding the motivation to “make a plan” can be nearly impossible.
Make a plan on your "good" days
@@afakespace people with severe depression very rarely have good days...
It's not motivation. It's habit. And it's not really a plan. It's like a list of the tasks you really have to do whether you want to or not. Showering and eating aren't easy, but it's the easiest on the list.
I can't do it either. That is why I clicked on the video.
@@user-bp4qq7tt1u That's why *they* get help from a therapist. Most people can do it on good days or even good moments in a day. Saying that they can't or that they don't get 'good days'. Is really enabling cause you're taking all the responsibility off the person to better themselves and that they're 'allowed' to fall apart.
I don't know if I 'qualify' as severely depressed, but I have an psychiatrist assessment appointment this week because I'm not letting myself fall apart.
@@newbooksmell4163 yeah you've clearly never been severely depressed or suicidal lmao
Taking a shower is such a hard thing to do when it's at it's worse
💙💜💙💜 😵😵
Showering is easy, deciding to do it now rather than a little later is the hard part. (A little means a day or two or three.)
I have to plan out my showers and I still procrastinate doing it
Oh yeah... I either didn’t shower or sat in the floor crying while the water poured over me.
I didn’t know what my worst was until one day I couldn’t even lift my head. I couldn’t check my phone, eat, shower, talk- I was literally immobile. I couldn’t even cry because it took too much energy. I’ve never felt anything so awful and I couldn’t even end it because it was so bad. It only happened once, but if it ever happens again- no way I’ll live with that reoccurring
when I'm depressed I have trouble identifying my needs or feeling worthy of anything I love.
Same
Same.
Same goes with me
Yeah me too
same here. when we were babies we did not have to earn people's love because we ourselves were love. and we still ARE love. may we hear our inner child's voice saying his or her needs and know that we are still equally worthy of love , warmth and nourishment now because we humans really just need love beneath the veneer of adulthood :)
For me.....
* sleeping way too much
* laziness
* low self-esteem
* lack of self-care
* memory loss
* hard time concentrating
* over-thinking/racing thoughts
* anxiety attacks
* self-destruct
That's it for now, I'll come back and edit if I remember more later on 👋
We could have a conversation
psst
Check out ADHD
I'm definitely not lazy. I fight my depression. I do as much as I can in a day. I may feel like everything is completely pointless or I may get derailed b/c of a sudden change in plans and I sometimes come to a screeching halt, but you have to be doing something in the first place to come to a halt. I am a hard worker. I don't lack self-esteem. I just get so TIRED of trying to do things when everything is so complicated and difficult and I have almost no support system (no family or local friends or faith community). I *wish* I could sleep. I got somewhere between 1-2 hours of sleep last night.
Hey Averiala. I fully understand what you saying...would you like to text me?..07940967502
@@DonnaBrooks I am exactly the opposite of what you are. And thats why I can say I am proud of you. Depression takes away your will to work and get up in the morning. But you still manage to fight it as much as possible and that's an actual inspiration to me. Just one thing, please try to sleep for at least 5-6 hours for starters. It is just going to help you get energy to do more in lesser time. And also help rest your body after a hectic day. It is only a medicine thats going to help. Please try improving your sleeping habits. Everything else is commendable 🥺❤️
For me "ticking things of my list" just take energy. If I go grocery shopping that day or make a meal, I dont gain confidence. I get tired.
100% agree
same but sometimes you have to get out of your comfort zone, healing is not supposed to feel nice and easy sometimes it hurts but i know you can do it! try to start by doing small things like showering or going to grocery to bigger things. i myself am struggling but i can feel myself getting better and its so ncie, i feel good not wanting to die 24/7 lol
@Goth Vaush - Jedi Master Engineer Since no one else is asking...How do you know?
@Goth Vaush - Jedi Master Engineer Can you please enlighten us about the Banana conspiracy? Who are they working for? Are they some sort of double agent?
@@shahzad1853 But it's not about a comfort zone at all, depression isn't like anxiety in a sense. Taking a shower and doing a skincare routine is completely within my comfort zone and I live for it. If I'm severely depressed, it's just physically exhausting. That's the bottom line. Showering and going to the grocery store feel like enormous things.
I never thought I'd live past 18. I felt hopeless and empty. Well, I'm 33. Still fighting the battle. Some days are good, some days suck.
mogote coyote I wish you well!
It's a rollercoaster ride. Bad days suck, but you always have the hope that better days will come. Keep fighting! You inspire me to get better
Same here! It wasn't that I thought I'd do anything to myself, I just remember feeling like I would never make it past 19. I had a early midlife crisis after reaching 19, all of a sudden I had to think about what I wanted to keep doing with my life. I'm glad you stuck it out; we don't struggle alone.
mogote coyote me too. ♡♡♡
Same here. Actually planned to kill myself at 21, like one of my friends, but almost 10 yrs later still going..
What I do is lie to myself saying “All I have to do right now is shower.” And after I’m eventually done with that, I say “All I have to do right now is eat anything, just try to be somewhat healthy.”
I tell myself over and over that that’s all I have to do right now so I’m not distracted by my other thoughts and get sidetracked.
I still struggle, (I’m trying to learn how to take breaks that last 5-25 minutes rather than 15 hour breaks)
r vlli thank you that’s very very helpful for me.
Same here! I just erase my opinion about the shower & the mile walk & cleaning out the sink. "Just do this." No room for rumination, then suddenly it's done.
so true! I feel the same!!
thank you that's really good advice
nice advise
The fact that she said 2020 will be the greatest year for depression... when it's 6 years before covid is honestly scary and so true. Depression has become so heavy with covid
My thoughts exactly. I wondered if anyone caught that. Covid along with Veterans killing themselves on the daily, climate change and War in Ukraine...... isolation, division of our country, corruption.....
*sorry, brain fart. Anyway, yes this was interesting 🤔
Depression is becoming the pandemic
@@serenasavage9842 I agree with you. I found this Ted Talk inspiring and do-able. Hope you find something inspiring in it too.
Everything feels heavier. Shrouded in fog aslo
Maybe she knew Covid was coming, which is a bit creepy
I thought she was gonna give me a tip on how to get myself to take a shower
you are not alone. I have been where you are. Have you ever heard of something called the five second rule?
@@jasonvichinsky1458 what's the 5 second rule?
LyricsVillage Essentially it goes like this. Choose the very smallest thing that you could do to move you toward that shower. It could be as simple as just standing up next to your bed. You do not consider anything after that step. In fact your mind May start telling you that nothing is going to happen after that small step. Don’t argue with that voice. that voice may be completely correct but you do not care for this moment. you count to five, and immediately just take that small step. You will find that often there is a part of you that will push you to keep moving to the next step, and the next step after that. This has been helpful to me. If you like, I would be very happy to do a voice chat with you over messenger or something for additional examples. I have been where you are. I know how it feels. so if I can help you even a little bit that would be great. Let me know.
@@jasonvichinsky1458 thank you, I'll give it a try hope it helps
thought I was the only one
"Being in depression leads to falling behind. Falling behind leads to more depression." Sister, you know my current state in life.
Are you okay now? Did you get any better, out of that state?
@@shahnazsony3940 omg thankyou for this reply. Yes I am so much better now. Did hit an all time low at one point but these days I feel quite okay.
@@Dr.Vinnie I'm glad you're okay now!
haha same
The worst case scenario that i am in 🌼🙂 god save me . I am a bit lazy but i can't help it. Or i am coming 🌼🙂🌹🌹🌹
I just love how she explains how depression is disabling. Lots of people don't understand why I can't finish school or even keep my apartment clean. They are empathic to the way I feel but don't understand why I can't do these physical tasks.
Worst is when you so stuck and dying that you can’t even muster up strength to do simple tasks, watching your life fall apart and feel like you deserve it.
I have Cancer and I feel this way every day.
Life is Worth Living.
I haved LOVED my Life.
I just want more.
And to feel better.
Depression sounds like Cancer.
Her: "by the year 2020 depression will be the second greatest disability in the world"
Me and everyone else during the pandemic: "are you sure it aint number one of that list? check again"
Agree huhu
COVID bro no. 1. Very disabling, lol
On the bright side, the stigma of therapy is fading real freaking fast. People who never considered it or mocked it are heading to therapists faster than you can say, "universal healthcare"
@@chainsherlock6268 actually depression is the #1 disability well of course caused by Covid and all...
lolol omgg true
The tips begin at 7:54
Nailah Thanks. :)
Nailah depressed people be efficient
Thx. Why do so many sites make us go thru all the fluff???
Because she is telling her story, which is inspiring and it also lends a lot of credence to her advice, considering everything she has accomplished in the face of so many obstacles.
Nailah this brought tears to my eyes. thank you!!!
Damn.... my main issue with my depression is that I'm EXTREMELY unmotivated.... to do basic living skills and when I do a "normal" day.. I get extremely overwhelmed and have racing thoughts of how shit my life is... because I can never get things done. I went to school for 6 years and couldn't graduate.. I kept trying different classes and when I went to art school it got worse. I ended up on academic probation and then had to drop out :( I loved art and I want desperately want to graduate :( but my problem was never being able to finish any of my work on time or just not having the motivation to do any of it... then hating myself for not doing it in the first place and wanting to die because I just could never motivate myself no matter how much therapy I had or how many meds I took. The people there were so inconsiderate of mental health issues... bc if you missed one day you would be fucked... your grade would rely heavily on assignments and then there I was slacking and watching Netflix bc of my crippling anxiety and depression
It sucks ass. It sucks so much because I know I'm talented and I know I'm smart. Even others and my professional advisors say so and that they all think I'm extremely intelligent... yet I can't get a degree because my project wasn't finished on time :/
Dear god. You just described my life in every aspect. I find it hard to do anything productive. I waste my time watching movies and playing games while simultaneously hating myself for doing so. Went to school a few times, a straight A student, I just cant motivate myself to get out of bed some mornings to go to school. So I dropped out, here I am, a intelligent person that can easily get a degree and find a great job but I have no motivation to do so.
I know exactly how you feel. For me, it was music - I'd spent years in voice lessons and assorted other lessons to prepare and I was going to be the next big thing in opera, but I dropped out of music school after one year. I spent most of my time in my dorm room watching TV. Came home, community college, many extended vacations and academic probations later and I may finally be graduating this semester. If I passed everything. I'm 34.
Anyway, something I've never looked into is the Americans with Disabilities Act. If you qualify as an "A" with a "D", your school would have to make accommodations for you (like later due dates). It's just a thought. It would be extra nice if you had an advocate who could figure that out for you and make any calls like a parent or sibling.
Julia Chernov pllllz be fine ....I wish u all the best u are beautiful 😍u deserve the bessst 👑👑 God bless u 💙💜
oh my goodness. you have described how I feel to a T
ive wanted to study nutrition for so long but dropped out becasue of my depression. i work in a shitty job which was only meant to be temporary and has lasted nearly 10 years. i lack confidence and motivation and even brushing me teeth seems overwhelming hard some days. i over think everuthing from my past where i think people hate me which makes me even worse. people say im smart and have potential but fear and depression hold me back. i feel i cant pick myself up to where i want to be. i hate myself for it.
oh my goodness. you have described how I feel to a T
ive wanted to study nutrition for so long but dropped out becasue of my depression. i work in a shitty job which was only meant to be temporary and has lasted nearly 10 years. i lack confidence and motivation and even brushing me teeth seems overwhelming hard some days. i over think everuthing from my past where i think people hate me which makes me even worse. people say im smart and have potential but fear and depression hold me back. i feel i cant pick myself up to where i want to be. i hate myself for it.
When I'm depressed I shut down and just lay on the couch watching TV. Then I get overwhelmed by all I need to get done. Borderline hoarder. Then I'll get anxious and leave the house to avoid it more. Feel disappointed w/myself and isolated. That's a lot. Prayers please
Omg .same but im just stay at home
Me too.
Me three 😩
I try to get out once a day to the local market but usually go the TV or CZcams route to escape.
She's trying to help as best SHE can, and she's sharing HER experience, y'all. She's definitely not going to reach everyone and tackle all personal struggles.. I appreciate this video soo much❣️
If one person is able to hear what she is saying. Then 1 person is help . I have depression depending on my state of mind Just the little thing that comes through for me gets me moving (slow pace) and the more I do move regardless the Pace I reach a point of being able to care for myself and take on other task I am in a good place right now I will take advantage of it the best I’m able At least I do function and feel ok sometimes
Yes I’m working on strategies now
she’s describing the best way to live with dysthymia. most people don’t understand the difference.
Yeah because she's just bullshitting
Okay... She talks about how it's difficult to finish work deadlines while depressed, I'm not really at that level. Taking a shower usually takes 45-60 minutes. If I go to the store and buy groceries, the big deed of the day is done. Taking a walk, that's bonus. Cooking something other than noodles or porridge is big bonus. And seeing friends ect is super bonus! Well, it simply doesn't happen...
Also so envy at people who say "prevent depression when you feel it coming" - I'm down there all the time! I shift in a few days, sometimes hours, and I'm in different level of depression 80% of the time. And very often at the "I really need to take a showe, haven't done it for three days, I stink" and it takes 2 hour to undress, get in and get out.
I'm trying new medications these last 6 months, still no luck. Just extreme anxiety and self harm after 7 years of being clean. It SUCKS to be bipolar. And I've never met anyone with so little "normal" state, I'm either depressed or sometimes mixed.
I'm 29 years old, got my first depression at the age of 9. Got super ill between 16-22 with years of hospitalizations, often against my will, and now I live in a dessert. Never worked, maybe will be able to 10-25% in the future. I moved to my own place at 26. I've never had a proper relationship. I don't know... Everything just sucks. And who know - tomorrow I might have some good hours and think all I wrote is exaggerating. And when I get depressed again after that I feel so fake for having been positive.
Sorry super depressing story... Just feels like this is a very good place to get some steam of. I feel like the people here might understand.
Aww... I can somehow relate but not fully.. my only advice is.. stop taking the medicines. And just... carry on. I don't know you, but I will always be there for you.
I wish I could talk like this to everyone...
Linn Samir I understand what you mean. taking a shower is something that is truly difficult for me as well. I feel extremely accomplished when I can make myself do it, which then makes me feel pathetic. I'm lucky I met my husband during a period of my life where my depression/anxiety wasn't so bad, otherwise I would be single too. going to the grocery store requires a lot of mental preparation beforehand, sometimes all day. even though I hate going to work, when I have a steady job I feel like it forces me to have somewhat of a routine, and people to whom I am accountable. that "helps" in the sense that at least I don't become a full-time hermit. I understand you, but I think her suggestions are still relevant. they just need to be tailored to you. I also have a hard time thinking about how these things aren't hard for other people, or listening to people who say that you just need to toughen up or whatever. people who don't have these struggles can't possibly understand. I'm trying to learn to be gentle with myself and not so judgemental. I also think shame or guilt makes the depression much worse.
sorry for such a long response with no real "solution" to your question, but hopefully it helps you to know you're not the only person on the planet who struggles with depression to this degree. it can be absolutely debilitating, I know.
I do think cutting things down to "can I make myself do this for even 10 minutes?" helps, as well as knowing what is specifically difficult to you and WHY it is so hard. I think for the shower it is a big time-suck and I also don't like getting all wet sometimes. or being alone with my thoughts that long on bad days. so sometimes I'll just wash my hair over the side of the tub, or sometimes I will play music and sing while I'm in the shower to make it seem more doable. I think trying to figure out why it's hard for you might help you in creating solutions.
anyway, sorry again for such a long response, and I hope you are having a good day :)
I can't manage to do anything you've mentioned. I'm 24/7 in bed. Sometime not even the sense to wear my PJs. My life is just hopeless and meaningless. And the worst thing about that is that it's not only a feeling, not only the depression that forces me to feel like that. It IS my life. My situation is that awful that there's no escape from it anymore. ANd I can't handle this.
luticia please find someone to talk to. you shouldn't have to go through life feeling this way. no situation lasts forever, even though it can feel like it will always be this bad. I grew up with an abusive mother and a father who didn't care enough to save me from her. I started counting down the days when I would turn 18 starting when I was 10. I made elaborate plans of running away at 6th grade camp. on the worst days I thought of taking a bottle of sleeping pills so I could go to sleep and not have to deal with life anymore. I tried to escape by calling cps on my mother, but they just interviewed her and took her word for it. my life was hell, and because I was a kid there was literally no way out of my situation. so I understand that feeling. but even though it took years, it did end.
I don't know your personal situation, but I just mean to say no situation is permanent and there is always hope for change. if you can't change the crappy circumstance, at least find someone you can talk to (a school counselor, a doctor, a teacher, a friend, a relative, a friend's parent, even a stranger). I hope you find some peace. you are not alone.
Jennifer Frisk Hi well-disposed Jennifer :-)
thank you so very much for your caring, your time, your effort and your thoughts you've put into this message. Also thank you for being open and honest about your own situation. As I read your home situation and als the things you did, and tried and thought I felt like you had talked about me. It's only 2 weeks ago as I called the police on my mother! 4 came but my mother is so manipulative and a fucking liar (not because she want to be mean but because of her own coping mechanism; she's emotional very weak, can't face the realtiy and her own feelings), instead of talking to her they to me into the award. I was SO angry. But fortunately after 1 hr stay they literally opened the door and I could go because as the docs talked to me they realized that everything is fine w me and It's about my mother. I guess, you were also never respected or even accepted by your mother and always craved for her appreciation, her attention and her love? That's me. For 37 years I've begged my mother to see me and appreciate and love me for who I am. Never happened. Never will happen. Since the police thing I've realized it and don't have the urge to try again. But still I've got to struggle A LOT w all the emotional abuse my mother did to me. I've got also a father like you who can't manage to stand up and speak for me also when he realized what my mother does to me.
Yes, I think your idea with talking is great and healthy and this is also my desire and I am a very open and honest person BUT I'm searching and searching and nobody wants to get involved in such problems. People want to have fun and not getting involved to deep into soul stuffs, feelings and problems. They ignore or run away and those who stay, stay only for 5 minutes and are going later.
I've got a therapist but not getting along with this person currently. I need her too much and she can't give satisfy my needs.
I don't have a functioning family who support me. I have literally nobody. Also no friends. I've lost all as I've become anorexic. People are afraid if you don't eat and get thiner.
Thank you again for your message. It was really hearty of you. You've sent some positive vibes into the universe. You'll see it will come back to you!! I'm a strong believer when it comes to universe, vibrations etc.
Tight hugs xxxxx
"if you can't say no, then your yeses mean nothing" - that is indeed a great insight.
Handling depression with a highly stressful job. I’m starting to pay attention when I’m starting to enter into a episode of depression: falling asleep in my work clothes, loss of energy, not wanting to brush my teeth. It’s really difficult, but I’m starting to develop a plan for when it hits so I can get back on track
:) ❤
I literally loved the last line which says "yes, depression is real,but hope is real, courage is real, resilience is real"❤️✨
when she classifies taking a shower and eating as an easy task when you're depressed.. i laughed
I know. I didn't laughed, but my eyes bugged out and my jaw dropped. I was like, "Easy?" No, that's the point. Nothing is easy. Whenever I think about taking a shower, I think, "Why bother?" Making decisions like what to eat or what to wear are exhausting. I do take my meds and keep all my medical appointments. And I do stop myself when I start having thoughts I know are going to make things worse. I will say, "No! No, you're getting up. We aren't going down that road." And I'll get up and start doing something constructive,- no matter how minor, like putting one thing away. Something that can just be temporary or something that has a definite place I keep it. The point is that it either requires no decision or I allow myself to put something away "for now", even if it's not in the best place or the final place, just so it's out of my way and I feel less overwhelmed by having to constantly move around stuff. (I rent a room and I often don't even have a flat surface on which to eat that isn't covered w/ stuff, and I don't have a chair, so I use my bed as a table and chair.) Decisions are crazy difficult for me. It will take me a couple of hours to buy food at the grocery store when a normal person could do it in 20 minutes. I am just exhausted afterward.
Other tasks that she mentioned are more difficult.
They are the easier than all the other ones you have to do. I know what you're saying tho 😔
Those are "normally easy" tasks that became very hard to do during an episode. That's why they are labeled "easy" to remind an ill person that their disorders are just telling lies. And what do we do when we know something's a lie? NOT GIVE IN AND BELIEVE IT.
:-D
I have both depression and anxiety. Sometimes, the only thing I want to do is get up to use the bathroom, and even then, I wait until I absolutely can't hold it anymore because my bathroom is in an upstairs area. My family, and people who are like my family, don't understand how hard it is for me, and people like me, to even get up in the morning. Taking a shower, eating, putting on clothes to even get through the day... these are all things that are challenges to me.
I work at a pizza place in my town, where it's busy all afternoon; the line is to the door all the time. Since waking up proves to be a huge challenge, going to work, in comparison, seems like the biggest challenge of my life. I break down and cry, and go into a panic attack every day before going into work. I go in, work, and come home exhausted, contemplating how I'm going to survive the next work day.
Getting out of bed, when I absolutely need to, takes about an hour. Showering takes about an hour, maybe an hour and a half. Getting dressed takes another 30 minutes. Getting ready the rest of the way takes about 20 minutes, which isn't bad compared to the rest. This process also involves a lot of crying, self hatred, and panic attacks, so eventually, the time just increases more and more.
I don't have a bad life. My father yelled at me a lot when I was younger, and didn't really hang around me when I was over at his house (shared parenting) because he would've rather slept. I didn't understand this as a kid, but being grown up... I understand that he was in pain too, and I think that's where I get it from. My dad now is nothing like he was when I was younger. He's a lot nicer now, and actually stays motivated, but I digress. My mother is nice to me, even if she does call me lazy, and yell at me when I struggle to do something, or get upset when I barely get to work on time. She's nice to me most of the time, and my family tries to be supportive of me whenever they can be.
There's no reason I should feel the way I do, but I do anyways. I contemplate dying on a daily basis, and realize that I don't necessarily want to die, but I don't want to live anymore either. I'm constantly in pain, and I can't seem to make this sinking feeling in my chest go away. I've been this way since 5th grade, and it has never been any different.
I feel bad for my girlfriend because she is probably the most supportive, and most genuine, human being I've ever known, and yet I'm still this way, and it's only gotten worse.
I'm 18 years old now, just graduated, and am now going to college for accounting, which is about to change to marketing instead. I still live at home, and I'm hoping to find a place to rent within the next year. I'm ashamed of who I've become, and how many people I disappoint on a daily basis, and I just want to feel happy again, but I don't think I ever will again.
I know this is all kinda scattered and depressing, so I'm sorry for all of that. I just needed to get things off my chest.
Monster Swamp Studios I totally get it. Hope you're doing better.
I hear you. I understand. I hope you can keep going.
I have found meds and therapy to be somewhat helpful.
I found electroshock to be quite helpful, but it's obviously harder to get.😕
Best wishes.
I’m just reading your post 2 years on and hope you’re doing okay. Can I just share that I don’t think your childhood and upbringing were okay at all? Your parents may have done the best they could, but their best was still incredibly damaging. I would encourage you to look into developmental trauma, also known as Complex PTSD. A lot of depression comes from this - most people in the comments section here probably have it, honestly - and without getting to the root of it, all other treatments and medications will only be a band-aid. I hope this reaches you and is helpful.
I feel the same way, not that I feel a lot of anything anymore. You may never read this, but if you do is there any way you can tell me how you got through it? I'm 16, but I don't know how many more years I can live feeling like this.
@Samantha Payne Thank you for replying and I know that I should get help, but I have a hard time doing so when I feel guilty for feeling this way in the first place. I was never traumatized or anything, nothing bad really happened to me. I guess I feel I'll be judged because there is no real reason I feel like this.
It’s like depression is quicksand, & the more I try to actively fight it, the deeper I go. Yet somehow the moment I stop resisting it, I stop sinking so fast; but I’m still sinking nonetheless.
Great description Kame. I hope you're feeling better thesis days. I really thought this video was going to help me but came away feeling a bit worse for all her energy and sorting thru and categorizing all her chores and grading them on difficulty. I was exhausted by her accomplishments.
Yes, I compare it to a car moving with the handbrake active, yes you can press the throttle harder, but it consumes that much more fuel and the car takes damage on the process
The solution it to release the handbrake
I love how she is talking about getting to know YOUR symptoms of depression and getting to know the signs early on. For me, it is waking up and getting out of bed. If I stay in too long, it will get me. :)
Wow so true!
I just now realised it’s the same for me, I’m watching this in bed at noon and realising that maybe it’s going to get me today… nice insight, I must get out now hahaha
This is extremely important. "We need to move beyond a diagnosis and start giving people coping mechanisms."
Late but still... Hard to believe that she didn´t get that with all that therapy she underwent. Coping is one if the basic topics.
all i wanna do all day is lay in bed and do nothing
Amanda Grace Fine to do now and then I think :) Recharges ones batteries.
You so me😭😭
Amanda Grace, just don't give into that lazy spirit! You were designed to be more than a conqueror! I hope things have improved for you 2 years on. If not, ask God for His help. One little decision at a time with His help, you will be amazed!
Me too
don't give in to that voice. Talk yourself into being productive...even if only in a small way.
One step at a time.
It sounds insulting when Jessica says: 'Depression takes practise', but don't allow yourself to feel offended. Instead think, 'productivity or positivity also takes practise'...& force yourself to make the right choice. One will drag you down, the other WILL lift you up.
Choose wisely & you'll feel so pleased with yourself.
That's something those of us battling depression lack: feeling pleased with ourselves!
Let's give ourselves something to be proud of.
It's not what others say or think about us that counts. It's what we think, do & say about ourselves that counts.
Bragging about ourselves when we've done nothing to be proud of, doesnt make us feel better about ourselves. It's making an effort that counts!
Remember: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!! :)
I watched this 4 years ago when I was going through a bad agoraphobia and depressed time. I had 20 seconds of inspiration one morning from I don't know where, and I emailed a nonprofit asking to volunteer. They emailed me back the same day with a very friendly email and asked to meet me. 6 months later, they offered me a fulltime job and my whole life has changed. Nutrition was also extremely important to my recovery. My vitamin D was very low, that causes depression. And my faith in Jesus of course also helped. I hope this helps someone else. If you have even 20 seconds of some energy, take a chance like I did.
Happy for you , but is low vitamin D a reason of depression
Thank you for sharing how Jesus helped you.
Happy for you sending blessings 💖☺️💖☺️💖
@@bengbeng2005 it helps improve mood and can also enhance the effectiveness of SSRIs
❤❤ so happy to read your comment. Reminds me of all the times i could have done the same but got stuck by fear and anxiety. Hope u good
“As students stepped over my limp body in a rush to get to class. So...” *Uh, hold up...What?!* She collapsed, fell down the stairs & people just stepped over her? How could everyone not be concerned & try to help her? Who does that!?! 😳
I thought the same thing! I don't know any situation except a panic (getting to class is not a panic), like getting out of a burning building, in which people would behave like that. Even in emergencies there are people who are kind & courageous & level-headed enough to help others! So for people to just step over someone who obviously needs help is incredible.
The selfish young people of society today!!! It says in the Bible in the end days people will be lovers of themselves! There it is!
@@123litera4 in the beginning of time, we did not have mass communication and social media to read or see this played out to form a visual imprint in our heads of how selfish and narcissistic people are. Today it's in our face every day. I'm an artist, and it's even very hard to turn off those images to immerse ourselves into being in a state of creativity. I think you can relate to that. The younger you are, the more you don't get it because you don't really know life without that that behavior played out daily.
eating breakfast or taking a shower..? i can't even get out of bed..!
I hope you find a place to get help!!! Or something that helps you. Thanks for saying this here. GBU girl! 💚💚💚😸😸😸
I know right😂😂😂
I know... I consider getting out of bed an accomplishment of the day, when it takes me hours to get up after I've woken up.
Sometimes I'll get shower, get dressed, put on make up but then can't bring myself to actually leave the house. Sometimes I'll sit down to write or accomplish something, get everything I need in one place, make a plan and then can't seem to do it. It's so strange. Most of the time I try to power through and I always feel better once I've actually accomplished something. But even logically knowing that, it's hard to do. I think my depression triggers when I lose direction and purpose. When I have a job and I'm working toward something, I do great. But once that job ends I'm in the wind again and it's hard to get it together to get another job.
i think your spot on. its all about direction and purpose for me too.
Same like me😭 I really don't know what to do now..
This is exactly what I'm going through now! I can't function without work and it becomes so hard to pick myself up in between jobs.
I feel you... I dont feel like I can control it
Marissa B oh my God, Marissa. I thought I was alone in this. I’m a songwriter and everything you described is exactly what I’ve been going through for the past few years. I don’t know what to do. I’m miserable because I find it so hard to write. I’m just so unmotivated. I hope you find your inspiration and motivation. Much love.
Lack of love and support kills
I wanted to say that this video has really practical advice. While, YES, in the midst of depression this advice isn't going to cure you, but if you suffer from episodic forms of depression then this is thoughtful advice that could help alleviate your next spiral to the bottom of despair. I appreciate this video.
I'm 25 now and dealing with a major depressive episode. Just recently I realised that it was depression and that I've been living with it all my life. The one thing I struggle with so much is the inertia. Just getting up or taking a shower, or putting yoghurt in my breakfast bowl somehow seem impossible.
I understand!!! Hang in there girl!! GBU!! Thanks for saying this here and sharing! I will pray for you. 👍
I procrastinate a lot it's horrible. I didn't study for any exam this semester and barely got passing marks. I don't want to be like this I feel useless
That’s how I got through high school.
i procrastinate so much, i have to do homework right now and im procrastinating.
@@iNSAN1TYCS procrasurbate
I’m so behind on schoolwork. Right now I’m procrastinating an essay due a week ago. The teacher even changed the deadline for me. Yet I am still sitting here on youtube when it’s due by the end of today. I don’t know what to do :(
@@Anna-ug8cq Same :( Sending hugs :(
You know things are getting worse when brushing your teeth takes so much energy to do
I’ve Been depressed for over 20 years of my life. I’ve lost jobs dropped out of school etc. Working out was my outlet and now I can’t even bring myself to do that anymore😢
God bless you! ✨✨ I totally understand! I currently have to pack up my entire apartment and I promise you I am considering leaving everything behind, honestly.
I asked last night that I'd die. I don't want to die, I just don't feel like living. That's how I feel. Guess I got some work to do...
breathe! we're here with you :) Feel your body alive. fuck all these rules we humans made and focus on what makes you apprechiate it all... this precious life! For example it is nature for me! Even just looking at damn good documentaries and the way the wild works, makes me feel so precious and so alive. Like we humans are part of this rustic nature and always will be. I truly hope everyone who reads this finds his or her true reminder of this magical life
berrybluee Thank you. It's time for something different. I got up, fed myself and I am going to walk my dog. I'm already feeling better. I have a plan and I'm going to get my old job back, just for socializing and connecting. I'm going to finish the chores I should have done yesterday.
Sam Banfield
That's great man :)
Things are changing, hugly. I can't even explain, but I will say that when you go to rock bottom, you can only go back up.
Sam Banfield Don't let that feeling lead your actions, it's not real and it's not you. I wish you strength and resiliance to overcome this. Please seek help.
This all sounds horrifically exhausting. Who has time to keep a planner? Between the crippling apathy, the crying spells, and taking care of my cat, I'm simply all booked up.
clairesalittleoff Terrible mentality:/
that's the nature of my mental illness unfortunately. I don't have BPD though, I have MDD.
clairesalittleoff seems like you just don’t want to get better. then there really is no point.
@@roselimonta please don't tell someone with MDD that it seems like they don't want to get better. There is always a point, the point is that's the mental illness talking.
lovez159 im just saying 🤷🏽♀️ if you just change your mindset dealing w depression could be easier. I mean thats how i got better, thats the only way it works. Unless you want to be miserable forever. & I know its easier said than done. I know its an its a real illness trust me. But the first step to treating it is to actually try.
It's just so hard to find hope when you're depressed. I can't even get out of my bed. 😔
I try to visualise myself happy, and doing the things I want to do.
The other thing is. Don’t let “feel” dictate what you do. Not always easy. But just cause you don’t feel like doing something, doesn’t always mean don’t do it. Just do it anyway, and you’ll feel better about yourself after and for sticking to you discipline and winning.
oh my goodness, it's kind of comforting to read some comments and know you are not alone with your problems. We must keep fighting, sisters and brothers🙌
👍👍👍👍👍❤❤ yes!!! GBU!
So comforting
I knew I was depressed in 3rd grade, never thought I'd live for my graduation. barely did but i did it.
Lawren Lovely Keep fighting :)
Lawren Lovely good for you!
i'm so proud of you for fighting your way through. you're so incredibly strong; remember you're not alone
That's amazing. Keep being strong
Lawren Lovely 💙you're not alone .🙏🏽💙🙏🏽💙
What she says is helpful if you are in a mild or medium level depression, but not for a severe depression.
I 💯 agree with you. She said that she exercises “more than normal” when she starts to feel depressed, yet she has this chronic muscle disease? The myasthenia gravis episodes must not overlap with the depression. I find this story hard to believe.
@JJT 07 True, also when your stomach is grumbling and you know you're hungry and you have food literally 5 steps away from you, it's hard to actually get up, take those few steps and eat. Happens to me so often. When it's that severe, the only thing that helps me is planning the next 1 min activity like I'll write 1315 - inhale 1316 - smile 1317 - sit upright in bed, 1318 - open youtube 1319 - stand up 1320 - plan again and so on. This has immensely helped me with eating food and drinking water. Showering is a level 2 activity for me and by now I have accepted it - dry shampoo and perfume to the rescue when I still have to go out. Ugh it's hard.
@JJT 07 I know right... and on top of that I'm in denial most of the times thinking I'm fine or I'll finish something super quick when I can, now and then it works but most of the times it doesn't and it sucks. I took medication last year and it felt really good, but i didn't want to take it for the rest of my life so I went off of it and every now and then it's like the depression comes back....
@JJT 07 Aww Thank you, I really hope and wish that it gets easier for you too 😊 I sometimes think of a bigger picture and how many things I enjoy and love about life in general and that helps in the long term too. I had my meal, I hope you eat something as well!
For anyone who wants to know, the 8:00 minute mark is where she starts giving tips!
This woman is very inspiring, even if her tips are much harder in execution. I've struggled with depression all my life. It's so hard to be positive - it's simply not natural with this kind of mental illness. A huge part of it is the lack of recognition from others. It's 10x harder to motivate yourself and get things done when the rest of the world trivialises or negates your suffering.
"Yes, depression is real, but hope is real." Goosebumps. :'(
The most important thing to realize is this.... She is so unique and special that she is only like 1 in 50million. That's very special.
Yeah this video just made me feel more depressed because of all her accomplishes versus mine and then the fact that she saying she’s depressed but can achieve all these things yeah my depression doesn’t work like that
same
preparing for future depression episodes would also take not being depressed. You can prepare all you want by rating tasks, etc, but when you are depressed what would make you follow your self-prepared steps for stopping the depression? How can you make yourself do the things that will help you make yourself do things? I feel like I learned nothing from this, except that this woman fought her depression. Good for her.
I don't think she really knows what a bad " or serious depression is like. IMHO, Anyway. I don't get that impression from her really . Everyone feels blue or down at times, but a real depression affects you allot! You can even tell by many of the comments on this thread!! Well, whatever, I guess. 🤕😓😣
I too respect her achiements but thats about it. All her socalled pep talk seems useless.
I think you just saved my college career.
wow - I am so happy to hear that, @Lindsay Brunson. I have a book coming out that goes into more depth than my TEDx Talk. It has a special section on school. Keep fighting!
Jessica Gimeno My last two years I was always depressed, anxious, my stress developed asthma, I have an impression that I just can't do anything. You brought me hope. I want to fight, even if it takes a lot of time and strenght... Thank You.
@@Alnilam47 hang in there.
I have ocd and depression, so my half of me need me to stay in bed, and half of me needs me to get up and close the bathroom Doors and check things.🖤
Keep fighting, both are no joke. Sending love your way
I am EXACTLY the same!! It's bloody exhausting!
What she's talking about is not reality for severely depressed people experiencing it.
Actually, Elisabeth n, that's exactly who will benefit most from her talk, so long as you try & don't mock it & cling to the depression as a friend you need to protect. Depression is NOT your friend. It's your enemy, stealing your life & forcing you to co-operate. Give it a kick in the pants & just try one little challenge each day & see how good it will make you feel at the end of one month! Just try & don't give up
maybe,,
however it's your choice to keep searching for that thing which your inner-self telling you it's the right solution, it's your own life journey.. make it to the end whatever happened/happening..
@@jennymullins593, You have obviously never experienced real depression.
@@Rustybear59 real depression or not, best to try a positive approach, than curl up with depression & convince yourself there's nothing that can be done. Better to cling to hope than hopelessness.
@@jennymullins593 and this is why when one has depression prefers to isolate themselves. You can’t be really positive with depression. It makes everything worse, it makes you feel worse for not being able to do so when people keep telling you as if it were an easy goal to pursue; but for you is almost impossible, drowning you more. Sometimes, having someone being there willing to listen to you when you need to is way better than those positive coaches speeches
today I'm going to drag myself to the gym for ten minutes
Good on you, your goal is a really good thing!
Adzie Hlupic took a week but finally did something today 😄
Good stuff, I planked a few times today! I'm proud.
d r e a m w a v e i
I love this thread! Feels connected and supported. I just hope after this week of finals I can drag myself to do some exercise. Wish you all have a productive week! And remember that we aren't alone
Sometimes, putting on pants is the only thing I can accomplish. I make sure to throw my arms up and think "Yes! Pants!" because I'm out of bed.
Feel you, and I'm not even depressed, just highly anxious.
Jessica Oudbier hey, how u doing now? I can totally relate to it....even m facing similar problems..it is so difficult for me to take a bath or to cook food or to clean the house...and so many more things....I spend most of the time inside my blanket...I wish this gets over soon...m falling behind at my work too 🙁
I'm still in a depressive slump here too. Thank you for asking! Today, I put pants on and then immediately auto-piloted back to bed.
It feels like a car stuck in the snow. You start, spin wheels, shut down, try again. But you know what, it does end. Eventually it has to end. Sometimes your options to make the pain stop are literally just suicide or wait. A lot of people don't like to admit that depression gets to that point, but it does. In those instances, I advise waiting. If that means saying "I can hang on for one more youtube video" and then repeating that until you can get help, go for it. I've been there.
As for work, tiny chunks. Start with getting your work out. Your papers, your pens, your computer. Whatever. If you need to stop for blanket time, cool, you're operating on depression time, not mythical normal person time.
Does any of this help? I just washed three dishes before crumpling into a sobbing heap. In a few, I'm going to do a few more. It sucks. But eventually, I can say "Yes! Dishes!"
Jessica Oudbier "Yes" "Pants" -- that made me smile!
Jessica Oudbier
starting anything is hard because you have to make a decision.
i rented a studio with a drumset for 4 hours and i have one left... I'm lookng for motivation so i can start practicing but i ve wasted 3 hours doing that.
Exercise makes a big difference . I found that out when my car broke down. I had to exercise and never felt so happy.
This story is inspirational. During the times that I'm deeply depressed, I can barely function. I struggle to clean myself, sleep too much and eat too much. The thing that stood out to me is that you need to address your issues as soon as you see them (before it turns to full scaled depression). I think for everyone struggling it's definitely good to start with just getting up and folding the bed. At times that's a big win and can help you continue to do more good for yourself.
Vicious cycle= depression causes procrastination that causes more depression. Stop the cycle.
Baby steps.
+peace and love Inspire yourself
peace and love I agree 100% it's so hard to get stuff done and I always put things off and end up more depressed that I didn't get something done on time.
🤌👏 Just like that! Sheer genius
Does anyone else find this kind of demotivating even while admiring and appreciating her? Just the fact that with 5 diseases she can be so productive and polished yet with no diseases I've done nothing with my life. WTF is wrong with me? How do I stop being totally useless?
R.D. Dragon I thought so too!
I couldn't help but feel envy at how productive and aware she is on how to tackle the problems.
i feel the same.. i'm now 22 and i think that i can't do like how she did it.. plus, i'm struggling with my university life and much worse when i just only have a year left to finish my study. but here i am terrified to do anything
She's too young to give this talk. I was able to cope at her age just as well as she does. I'm over FIFTY. Once I hit menopause, life just started going downhill. And the meds? They don't make new meds fast enough for people like me. You end up going through ALL of them and you're SCREWED.
to be fair we don't know her whole life story. we don't know about every single one of her failures the way we know our own. comparing her to ourselves is unfair
very true and encouraging what she said at the end, that depression is real, but hope and resilience are just as real
For me, getting proactive is listening to affirmations, or reading comments of people going through the same when I feel isolated, or watching videos like these. It helps most of the time.
Wow, that woman was an EXCELLENT speaker! I'm depressed right now that my boyfriend broke up with me, but thankfully I am very healthy.
Dudes are desserts--your health is EVERYTHING.
keldra alpine excellent response
God bless you!! I also broke up a few years ago and I went into depression and was even suicidal. And then I thought that life has so much to offer, so many more places to travel and most importantly so many more and better people to meet (: life will test you for sure and it's not the smartest people who'll succeed but it's the ones who are the most compatible with changes and can bounce back after they fall. Good luck with life!!! We are all together.
Sakura Christine Ito wow that's a good way to look at it. I will remember that when I feel like not going on.
This just gave me so much life right now. Thank you so much Jessica.
You're welcome @Orlando Morales!
vaccine injury? Plus food sensitivity? I have a similar story and I am vaccine injured- not realised until adulthood. lazy eyes as a small kid, stomach problems, ear and tonsil infections constantly- asthma- fatigued- over weight and had ups and downs. I was also clever and creative. A bit odd and often described as an old soul, I was very sensitive (i now have autistic kids and see similarities. We have had genetic testing- NAD which concludes loosely, that we have the same environmental sensitivities that lead to autistic symptoms) As an adult I am seemingly bipolar 2 although bipolar is often the diagnosis given to adult autistics who have not been previously diagnosed. I also have Psoriatic arthritis (auto immune problem) and I'm in my 20's. I'm a nurse, artist and entrepreneur. I sincerely hope the Jessica comes across what I have realised to be neurological injury further irritated by food intolerance that disrupt tight junction function causing leaky gut syndrome which causes neurological symptoms such as anxiety, twitches or ticks, irritation and mood swings in varying degrees( inflamed brain). If your brain is inflamed one must think about autoimmune response and how it can effect other areas of the body. In my self I have manifested Psoriatic arthritis and chronic sinusitis and Bipolar like symptoms ( possibly ASD). I know this is a mouth full but I hope it is helpful to someone
Very well said; the ending is formidable. Let`s not rely only on pills and resign ourselves for the disease to domain us. Let's keep on trying. I hope we can. :)
Orlando Morales
😢 all I can say is that she is stronger than most humans .... thank you for sharing your story 🙏
I find I can still complete most tasks when I'm depressed, only they take me so much longer and get drastically delayed. Also, I find I don't feel fulfilled after completing the tasks, so there's no sense of reward for my intense effort. Depression for me is like going through the motions of living like I am an actor in a movie. A movie such as Groundhog Day. There seems to be a screen that blocks my soul from my experience, I'm removed from life somehow.
i have the wonderful double whammy of depression and anxiety with no way of get help/medication and this helps a lot thank you
why not?
+ashima rajput if you need a friend,email me malhotra.maria@yahoo.in
This is totally unrelated to your comment, but I just noticed you look really beautiful. I hope you'll experience more of what helps you in life!
I am not a big fan of self-help books, but "Feeling Good" by Burns helped me a lot.
Ashima Rajput my favorite books are the hardcore self help books by Robert Duff for a sort of intro into CBT and help. and then The Upward Cycle: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the course of depression one small step at a time. neither is a replacement for mental health, but are good stopgaps. also maven healthcare let's you video chat with medical professionals and has a mental health option and there is talkspace which is online therapy if you can afford either if those options
This video hasn't gotten as many likes as Justin Beaver's "Sorry", but I want Jessica and the entire TED team to know, that this was remarkably helpful and inspiring for a lot of people. Even if you help ONE person, that's already an accomplishment... You helped hundreds and probably thousands of people with this video. Thank you.
She’s so inspiring. But we must remember to not compare ourselves to others.
Love this gal and her ideas.
Stay strong 💪🏽 we deserve it.
🥄🦋🙏🏽
My depression began when my fiance didn't want to work things out anymore and we had a 5mth old baby too. We sold our house because I couldn't keep up with all the bills thought we could start over and rented a house but one month into it she didn't want to do it anymore. Then 2mths later my daughter from a previous relationship had her own mental issues and tried to hurt herself. And this all started when the first lockdown began. It affected my work and I had many fleeting suicidal thoughts at work and on my drive home which felt like forever.
Then I became physically ill beginning of 2022 Dr said it was septic arthritis not sure how it happened either. Being in the hospital with covid restrictions added to my depression. Almost dying on my birthday because my heart reached 217 and my birthday was on Feb 17th was a terrifying coincidence and I accepted I was about to die and die alone. Being out of 2 hospitals, then finding out I have superficial thrombophlebitis, gout then covid was the last. But also being in a current relationship, with all the back and forth arguing because she worried all the time about my health and worried about her health and mental health as well. I blamed myself for being sick. I didn't know and understand what I was feeling. I denied it. Buried it. It's been 2yrs feeling worthless, useless, sad, alone, unmotivated, lost, etc. I accepted it. I accepted the depression but I didn't want to believe it and didn't want to be weak. But I did and I cried so hard. I just thought it was too late to get help but I am.
I've never heard anyone speak this way about depression. It's extremely powerful. Life changing.
I started crying. A year ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar II (also second opinion diagnosed) and since then I've felt like nothing. And two years before that I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease, which while not as debilitating of an autoimmune disease as you have, it changed my life. I feel like getting that diagnosis really contributed to my depression. And then I just kept getting worse and worse. I also had a very similar childhood with the ups and downs, though mine started when I was about 12. It's just so hard for me to get things done when I'm depressed. I'm really thankful I found this video. Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom!
@Kendra S: You're welcome :) and thanks for sharing part of your story
May God Bless your life.
Quasimodo Chick I am bipolar and borderline so I know how u feel!
oblong Heh, I have celiac and BPD too.
I have BP2 and Celiac. Getting those was a relief. My problems finally made sense and I actually felt BETTER. Then I hit menopause. But that's another story.
I found this really helpful. Here's a quick summary:
1. Be proactive
know the symptoms of your depression and undertake the strategies that work for you
ex. under/over sleeping and eating, exercise and therapy (or faith or friends or family or reading)
2. Urgency
rate tasks on a to-do list: today: 4 stars, tmrw 3, this week 2, next week 1
when depressed, only do 3 or higher
3. Difficulty
easy tasks, like eating or taking a shower, 1
moderate, 2
difficult, like making a work deadline, 3
when depressed, do all the easy ones first to gain momentum
also, turn your hard tasks into easy ones by breaking them down
I make a “goal of the day”. I start with one, and allow it to be the only one. Something simple that I know I can do that day.
Usually what happens is, after I complete that goal, I feel just a little bit better. so I make another easy goal.
Completing little goals makes me feel better so that’s why I do it this way.
Also, I leave the option open to be glad I completed the goal, and then rest for the remainder of the day.
In 15 minutes you have identified and presented the most critical element lacking in the mental health system. Learning and developing life-skills necessary to continue to function when the darkness comes. You recognize everybody's symptoms and strategies are different. Medical professionals can learn from you on how to allow individuals challenged with mental illness to lead fulfilling lives. Bless you for the inspiration tips!
There is a woman named Mary Ellen Copeland who created the WRAP system. (Wellness Recovery and Action Program) that you should check out. It's a way to plan in advance for a depressive or other mental health episode and has steps you can take at each level (from trigger to hospitalization), so it's quite comprehensive.
I love this video. Here’s a timestamp outline to make it easier for everyone:
Proactivity: 8:00
Urgency: 10:36
Difficulty: 13:06
Thnk u!!!
Thank you!
Thank you
You forgot: Blathering on and on about herself: 0:00
thank you this should be pinned
Wow she really achieved a lot of things. No wonder she has so much confidence. Unlike us average people with crippling depression and scars on our arms.
The strategies she talked about are really applicable
I have been living with depression for 7 years. My family denies that depression is real. But I know that denying the existence and debilitating effect of depression won't do anything good. So I decided to stop asking them for help and started taking steps to deal with depression. I don't know how I'm still alive but I am.
Never was I depressed in my life until recently ...I started to feel the sense of emptiness and the lack of interest in everything. I m afraid of sleeping because of the bad thoughts I have when my eyes are closed. I m doing my best to overcome this by occupying every day with different tasks and have kept a checklist. I dunno if that will really cure my depression completely but I m doing all I can to overcome my suicidal tendencies and continue to be productive. the good thing is I can still eat properly - no overeating or losss of appetite. I just hope that theres something I can look forward to in my life so I dont see nothing but a dark tunnel ahead of me.
@Gem Pony: thanks for bravely sharing. Sorry to hear how hard you've had it! Have you seen a professional yet (psychiatrist)? That is a good place to start. Being busy can help but it isn't enough.
No I havent. I m not ready to share my feelings and thoughts to others. And I think going to see psychiatrist is costly and I prefer not to take meds. I have got a bit better lately by keeping a journal and to-do list so I feel like I have accomplished something each day. Your suggestions are very helpful and I will keep fighting.
+Jessica Gimeno: I have found mental health professionals to be indescribably helpful in a lifetime of mental illness! Psychiatrists? Not so much, in fact occasionally I found them harmful. But social workers with masters degrees, they were consistently very helpful most of the time. ❤️👍🌟💪👏😊
I found exercise helpful to my general mood and energy levels. And not eating junk food too often. Although to be fair, getting yourself up and ready and doing a workout is 10x harder! But even a walk is good for your brain, it doesn't have to be a big thing. If you're not ready to speak to someone, maybe get some books from the library or bookshop or online, self-help books about happiness and motivation can be really beneficial and contain lots of nuggets of wisdom. Good luck, hope you feel better soon! x
So perfectly explained.. it is the hardest thing. because you're afraid to stay alive, and even to be happy cause you know you'll experience the emptiness soon enough.
people should take depression seriously, even if a medical reason can't be found. for me i've had to learn more about the physical aspects, how what you eat and lack of moving might take you down just as much as bad news. it can be out of your control but you can in fact control certain things that even have been proven to help. so take care of your body and mind. lots of love.
Amazing human being, loved her encouraging speech.
I am the male version of Jessica. But, I look and do feel very ill. She looks good.
The problem in my case is I have a severe autoimmune illness that has no name. It makes me feel bad because of the wide-ranging symptoms. Some days, I just hurt. But it’s not fibromyalgia.
I’m not chemically depressed, but I do struggle with insomnia because...I hurt.
So, I’m here with all of you, humbly sharing a bit of my experience.
8:08 "Do you have a plan for the next time you get depressed?" ... Okay but I'm always depressed ? So. ?
I love how she is so positive despite all the challenges she’s had with her life. Just seeing her with the cane and smiling empowers me even more.
This helped. I can recognize my symptoms now, but I never thought of what I could do proactively to stave off the worst of it or maybe get through it better. Instead it would bring on a sense of fear and despair. But after watching this I can wrap my head around it, in the middle of a depressive episode.
Edit 11/27/2020: it's been well over a year now but uhhh things are better lads and lasses :) good luck out there
“I had a happy childhood”
can’t relate lmao
Also, I wish that stuff like showering or eating or even just taking my meds was easy. I wish I could do things, be motivated or happy and be able to get things done. I can’t do that. Nothing is easy, nothing seems to help. I try and try and try and try and I cannot do anything and not doing things I know I have to do makes things worse
I also have trouble showering, doing regular tasks; especially in winter.
I've got decent roommates. I'm in a group. I try to think less about what I "have to do" and more about "what can i do now?" People kept telling me i was too hard on myself - that was tricky! I had to correct myself withOUT being harsh LOL.
Good hunting.
lmao on the can't relate,
Well, great to see things have improved for you :)
This is wonderful. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 13, rapid cycling bipolar disorder and adhd in high school, major anxiety about two years ago to the point of agoraphobia, and polycystic ovarian syndrome and ocd this year. She is very strong, I have a lot of respect for her. Not everyone will understand the struggles of mental illness and it's frustrating. I know anyone watching this video is most likely going through something themselves and I want to let you know that I believe in you.
Sarah Surowka Hello Im 13.. Im depressed because of family issues and many other issues can you please tell me how you got diagnosed? I really need help, I don’t know what to do. I want to see a doctor but I don’t want to mention anything to my family.
Go to see your guidance counselor at school. Because your 13, they have a right to know if your counselor thinks they need to. But it's good that you want to seek help, and no matter what, see your school counselor.
Sarah Surowka :)
Sarah Surowka By the time I was 13 I was also diagnosed with ADHD, Dysmithia, Bipolar and an anxiety disorder that I can even pronounce. I'm 18 and I've graduated high school with honours. Do I feel pride because of that accomplishment? No not really. But I know I must fight my mind everyday, every hour and every minute of my life and I do not often win. I know I will keep losing battles but I must win the war with my mind
Monique101 Hang in there, i know it doesn't seem like it but it does get better
I have toothpaste in my hair. I can't brush it out and I don't have time to shampoo this morning. The day is going by and I have errands to run and people to see. I'm trying to take notes from your TED Talk in my Mental Hygiene Journal. I made a mistake, got up to look for the White-out, but I couldn't find it. Instead I found the butter wrapped up in wax paper, left on the table from the night before. I noticed how small of a piece of butter that it was. I put it in the refrigerator and open to the freezer for a new stick of butter. I still haven't found the White-out. I don't like scratching things out in my journal. It makes me feel less than. I want to finish listening to your Ted Talk now. I want to enter my notes in my journal before I forget. Getting out the door has more stars then the things I want to do. I also have a laundry list of health problems. We're not alone. Only your own Ted and I'm sitting here in my kitchen with toothpaste in my hair. Thanks for the advise. You're a good kid. I wish you all good things.
caterpillarnana 💓💓
you could write short stories very well, you know.
I can relate to you! Please, continue giving, you have a gift with words and conveying feelings in a quick way.
To hear of depression being an “episode” for most people is a level of relief, that the rest of you might not feel anything close to how I do. Live well, nothing matters but your happiness people... Just don’t try to convince me the same for myself.
Yes !! Depression is real
Hope is real
Courage is real
Resilence is real..
Thank you Jessica. I've been looking for a light for so long. You're inspirational.
You're welcome :)
I have also been suffering from depression and anxiety will u help me
I have extreme depression. Sometimes I can have positive thoughts and the I switch to bad thoughts. Depression is a extreme challenge.
please don't get mad but, maybe go get a bible, and just to humor, read it in your spare time
mspixiedust100 I have chronic depression and I read the bible at least 10 minutes every day. It doesn't make me any less depressed, but maybe it counts for something in the long run. I am still alive, after all, however much I may hate the fact, I have no plans to change it.
Nothing makes me more depressed than reading a bible
Hope you've asked for professional help. It is extremely important since pathological depression becomes worse with time, if not treated.
+ Eleanor Tischler - I respect your beliefs. But have in mind that pathological depression is like cancer, in other words: it gets worse if not treated, so treatment is crucial. I suppose the bible brings you calm and hope, but if you are dealing with disease, professional help is required. Good luck to you.
Woah it’s 2020 and that fact about depression being very high is surprisingly true.
Hi Julia, Just wanted to let you know you are not alone! My daughter and I have the same problem. My daughter also spent 6 years in art school and finally had to give up completely due to the same issues. I have suicidal Ideation as well, like there is a separate person in my brain constantly telling me to end it, even when I'm happy. Both of us have tried anti-depressants/bi-polar meds/anxiety pills, but nothing works. I think there needs to be more research on "motivation" and how it applies to depression. Watching this Dr. is a yes and no for me. I have gotten much better by "letting things go," but know that just writing things down has never worked for me. I have learned to smile when I'm sad (fake yourself happy); meditate; say mantras; stretch or do yoga; eat healthy & ask for help when I need it (and yes, this is the hardest one as NO ONE wants to help you). I have learned to accept it as if I had lost a leg or arm, but struggle every day with the fact that it will never completely go away. For everyone out there that is having problems, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!
I am 23 years old and a senior in college. I am so close to graduating but over the past two semesters I have failed a class for the first time and I am about to fail that class again due to depression and borderline personality disorder. I have recently been diagnosed with a degenerative spinal disease and that pain + my mental illness has been so debilitating. I am afraid that I am going to get kicked out of school if I don't get my stuff together. I needed this today. It was on my "recommended" and I have no idea how or why, but this is exactly what I needed. I feel like I've been sliding through life with my mental illnesses for too long. Thank you.
@pinkieskeelo: I'm glad you found my talk. I admire your perseverance; the days can be so hard I'm sure. If you sign up for my free Depression Tool Kit, it has scripts for talking to professors to ask for accommodations for mental illness. (I can't post a link to Fashionably ill here; I'm not sure if I can but you can google it.) Also I have a book coming out about getting stuff done when you are depressed; it will have a special section for students in school. You're welcome, Jessica
Depression is a war that you have to keep fighting. For many of us it is a war that cannot be won. But you can win battles. You can fight to see another day. And another. And another.
I just watched your Ted Talk with the hope of helping a friend with depression. It's wonderful and it helped me immensely also. I have a chronic autoimmune disease. I have good days and bad days and I do get down sometimes on a sick day. When I feel like this again I will think of your tips, your struggles and how you're killing it. I will say to myself if Jessica can do it, so can I!
Thank you so much for sharing your personal story that I will carry with me always as a tool to help me cope with my incurable disease.
She is so inspiring! I am watching this as I am having a relapse right know, she really motivates me to take action and to make the best of it. Thank you very much. And for everyone else, keep fighting! ✊🏽