Tabletop RPG Story: The WORST Detective In the World! From Dresden Files RPG
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- čas přidán 8. 02. 2018
- This story is from when I played a detective in a Dresden Files game as a detective who didn't know what he was doing.
Music Credits:
"Fun House Trap", "Lagos", "Mirror Mirror", and "Da Funky Rapsta" from the CZcams Audio Library
Ice Demon by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (creativecommons.org/licenses/...)
Source: incompetech.com/music/royalty-...
Artist: incompetech.com/ - Hry
A detective with no points in investigation, all points in fists, guns and cars, and who constantly breaks the law? So every 80s tv detective.
Larry Berry Now all he needs is a car with an AI built in it.
I was going to argue but then I remembered rockford files was 70s.
Larry Berry THATS THE JOKE
Well, Kung Fury is pretty much every single 80s tv detective ever rolled up into one and dialed up to eleven, so... yes. He is _EVERY_ 80s tv detective.
Real life 80s detectives as well
"I'll sign off on without checking." Even before the ominous tone started, I was having flashbacks and alarms were blaring in my head.
care tho share the amazing/ridicolous flashbacks?
SuperCaleb283 it sounds like you have many a great story.
While I'm not SuperCaleb, I do have a story in a similar vein. I recently started up my first campaign, and intended for it to be a joke. I let everyone make whatever character they want, and only changed anything when they needed balanced. So, in the end, we had a witch doctor consumed by eldritch trees, the god of conquest(based on the main character from "The World God only knows"), a priest of "Starshitting"(Space magic), and a chicken cursed by the god of death so that when he dies, he comes back for an hour with more health and other buffs before reverting to his regular form. This has led to a few... interesting interactions
GM have no idea how Ben works...
That's why I'm not allowed to play Chaotic Evil anymore.
Why make the technophobic monk drive the car?
I see nothing wrong with doing that. He's with Detective Rage, San Diego P.D.
Because it's funny, obviously!
And he is on an investigation
The funny thing is that if the game goes by the books logic, the wizard may have been potentially worse for the fact that magic screws up technology at the worst possoble times.
Oof
The monk is not technophobic. He is afraid of technology, because he thinks it is sorcery... but he is not afraid of actual sorcery.
Aw, this ended too soon. I want to hear more adventures of Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage
It's like,,, when you have too many brackets and everything stops making sense
He said you could be anything, so you became a legend.
This line made me laugh hysterically and I paused the video.
I mean it does fit the dms description of the Special Investigation department
Aw hek yeh
Detective rage with the average teenage girl sidekick trixie starbright.
Featuring special guest suicidal cleric
And best friend Absurd
And the their best friend Whimsy.
Christian Pietka and job approving Wallace
let's not forget him carrying the Sword of Warning
I (un)fortunately never got this past my DM, but in a World of Warcraft D&D campaign I one tried to play a Tauren bard. The bard couldn't sing, or speak at all actually, for he put all the points he could spare into Performance(Mime). He would inspire his comrades through the power of interpretive dance, set to the tantalizing beat of the Lutehammer. He came close to kicking me out of his house after that, but I call it a success.
That's a lame dm. He should have let that work there's no mecbanic reason it shouldn't.
I laughed for 10 minutes straight from this.
I have a similar story with a poorly aged dwarven bard. I can understand where the DM's were coming from though, because my performance skill was 'flesh flute'.
That DM was a very good storyteller and worldbuilder, but tended to take things a bit too seriously, and often railroaded when I did something that might break the plot. That session ended up just being me and him, so I understand him not wanting me to play a supporting role in a one-man party.
idk, most one-men party scenarios i've played involved a lot of social challenges instead of combat ones because they're easier to balance and create for a party of one, i think a bard would've been an amazing class for that.
"Those kids with you knew in high school who wore the long trench coats."
Oh boooy...
*Tornado House* all the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you better run, better run, outrun my gun
I would have gone for SWAT team.
Hey, it was almost 19 years ago. High time for it to cease being a case of "too soon".
@@PobortzaPl Columbine might have been. In reality...saying that it's twenty years ago is pretty shockingly ignorant when literally hundreds of people have died in school shootings in the United States, largely to the spiritual successors of those sorts of isolated weirdos, since you made that post. It kinda isn't too soon when it's something that happens repeatedly every year where schools are open for more than a few months. It's a type of domestic terror attack that happens fucking constantly, to the point that training five year olds how to hide in the dark to avoid being mowed down by antisocial teenagers and Nazi Leaderless Resistances is a basic and accepted part of American Life now, and was when you made that post.
@@iusethisnameformygoogleacc1013 Trench coat part of it is old.
As for rest - you reap what you sow. Not my fault USA can't raise their teenagers properly, has problems dealing with youth mental issues AND has problems with firearm related violence (seriously, police being called for noise complaint ends up shooting a guy at his doorstep?).
Journalist: "You are without a doubt the worst detective i have ever heard of" Detective Savage Rage " But you have heard of me" *clenches buttcheeks*
Hey hey! Clenches Buttcheeks Furiously!
01101000 01101001 01101100 01100001 01110010 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011
R random techpreist
Knight Syan Is that binary or something? What does it say?
Captain Cokecan your going to need to roll a d20 for that clenching
Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage is the hero this city needs!
More likely he's the hero your city deserves, but not the one needed right now. XD
He's really just some eye-candy to distract kids and families from realizing how corrupt the local governance is.
he's the hero this city needs but doesn't really want
Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage is not the heroe the city needs but the only one the city has
LuckIsImpossible he’s not the hero the city needs, deserves, or wants.
You are a loose canon Detective Rage! You are a cop on the edge! You don't follow any rules except the rules of Savage Rage! The Cowboy Cop Detective Savage Rage!
What? You think i'm a loose canon? Is that how you guys think of me? "You just follow your own rules" ya, but i always considered myself a cop with nothing to lose
I'VE GOT THE MAYOR BREATHING DOWN MY NECK ABOUT ONE OF MY DETECTIVES HARASSING WITNESSES, FLAGRANTLY DISRESPECTING POLICE PROTOCOLS, AND CAUSING MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF PROPERTY DAMAGE! YOU ARE OFF THE CASE! IF YOU PULL ONE MORE STUNT LIKE THAT LAST ONE I WILL HAVE YOUR BADGE ON MY DESK! ARE WE CLEAR DETECTIVE?!
Bad Hair Man: Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage laughs at empty threats such as these! And if you want his badge, he will give it to you... Through your teeth... From the INSIDE!
That's Mister Cowboy Cop Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage to you!
I need to know more about Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage. I NEED to. If I don't, I'll die.
Tiger Brows I think savage rage is a reference the title of kung fury, which is kung fury: street rage
Scariest It's almost like he straight-up admits that in the story itself.
My theory involves a cursed video tape.
Are you the Tigerbrows from Proton Jon's Streams? If so, hello!
@@SodaPopBarbecue shit they found me
I laughed for a full 10 seconds at the "Whatever you make I'll sign off on without checking" line. Good lord that's a bad decision there.
ironballs16 at the moment the gm shoulda knew he fucked up.
Honestly thats just asking for ridiculous things to happen.
If ever there was a game where the GM should strictly police character choice, it's Dresden Files.
My god, If a DM said something like that to me, the game would become Call of Cthulu based on the eldrich horror of a character ild make
...and it was at that moment he knew, he fucked up.
"Detective Detective Savage 'Savage Rage' Rage"
What a great name!
San Diego is pretty. Pretty full of human trafficking.
I know right. >_
Still one of the better cities in California
RIDDLED WITH CRIME!!!
I think one of the big problems is we have no idea how big these problems are, like, my friend had to tell someone, “no, young girls get kidnapped for trafficking all the time”, or the child bride issues we’re having
And poop on the streets.
Oh god. I can't believe the gm just *trusted* you! You can never just *trust* players! I wouldn't trust myself lol
best line ever from a "trusted" character created by one of my players: Don't worry for her, her father forced me to sign her adoption papers before he offed himself, she's in my charge now *dramatic pause* okay.. ..Worry, worry a lot ._..
Altough to be completely fair, i was running a hunter the vigil campaign
every time someone just *trusts* me, I go from full fleshed written out character to "how can I become the final boss?"
ajs1031
the ironic part is that funnily enough a good group would most likely be the "i run up and grab the loot party" no casualties, this is my problem with Dnd's alignment system, more than half the system encourages killing if the thing is not one of the base races or doesn't agree with your point of view, and soemtimes you even get epic loot from it, conversely in WoD which is supposed to be a moral grey area game you'd be rollling morality every time you tried to play anything resembling a Dnd character, except if you were playing a changeling or a sin-eater, changelings can do really nasty things without rolling morality and sin-eaters don't roll morality for things that would make a changeling blanch .
santiagogs15
2 things about this. 1st, this really depends on how the DM manages her game. I don't feel like adding rules to enforce morality is the best solution.
2nd, DnD is a much darker world than WoD. Capital E Evil is way more common, and self defense is often necessary.
really tho, the biggest difference is the source material the two use.
DM: Tells you that story wise your character is from the worst of the police. Is then surprised when your character is bad at his job. To quote a great philosopher and business man, Micheal Bluth, “Well, I don’t know what I expected.”
This is a great point
If the DM was introducing the world to the players, she should have explained that they aren't bad cops, but cops that refuse to kiss a$$.
Yes, but he was both!
Actually the special investigations unit from the source material is more like a dead end for your carreer. Of someone doesnt want you to rise in the ranks youre getting put in this unit.
@@dogebertduck2832 exactly so why would he bother to play by the book in that sense?
Head Canon: Savage Rage wasn’t the name he was born with, it was probably something like Keith Weiner or something and he changed his name and adopted this “cool guy” attitude because as a kid he had no friends and he thinks 80s action movie cliches are how people communicate.
Until he was hit by lightning and bitten by a cobra.
At the same time.
Or his name was Richard Holder.
Get it??
František Vrána
In the exact same place.
Nah he just watched a cursed video tape.
You never tell a player they can have whatever they want, that's just asking for the player to break the game.
to be fair he didn't break the game he just screwed it.
The Viking age... huh. That explains the laser raptors.
I want a full Series about Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage please
yeah sound like a chill guy
Yes, yes, yes. A Detective detective Savage “Savage Rage” Rage series would be awesome.
WE
WANT
MORE
Much clenching of buttcheeks ensues...
Watch Kung Fury the character is heavily based off him
Considering Dresden Files already has wizards riding undead dinosaurs, vampires shooting porn and a literal Jedi with a spirit powered skateboard, detective Rage fits right in.
I have several questions and a phone number.
Honestly I bet Murphy would rather have detective rage in her department over Rudolf, the mosquito dicked weasel.
Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Reindeer
He really does, doesn't he. I mean, Fool Moon had those idjit FBI agents even... xD
whompst vampirethdves
See and this is why I get so frustrated with cookie-cutter characters and people complaining about making sure the party is "balanced." Who would want to play yet another monk trying to be Batman or an Orc so troped up even Netflix is making fun of it when you can be Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage!?
I mean listening to the fact they have a Monk that fear technology and are forcing him to be the driver I kinda doubt they have cookie-cutter characters.
Pesonally i want to be a orc barbarian but a intelligent one who loves to bake. His main goal in life is to be a good baker and have loyal customers and friends but he rages easily if you insult his cooking or ruin his food.Those who get on his bad side soon find themselves fearing..the muffin man.
Why have a respectful and reverent monk when I can have a half tiefling water genasi monk with a short temper and the mouth of a sailor despite being raised by a bunch of clerics
I think it's because a lot of players want to follow an archetype. Lots of people know the Orc tropes so that's what gets made. A lot of people know batman DBZ so people want to be those characters. It's a lot easier to come up with a well known character than to come up with a something on your own.
Plus I feel like a lot of people have ideas but not a group/GM that will accept it.
As a huge fan of the actual Dresden files book series...this hurts in all the right ways. Harry would approve, Murphy would cringe and molly would laugh her ass off. Well done.
So when your detective stopped following the case, was it a... "Savage Rage Quit"?
prismo1 "San Diego crime doesnt quit you, you quit the crime!
I know it makes no sense, but it's okay, San Diego PD, on an investigation!"
what a savage pun
Gonna have to ask you to go back your village sir, your savagery scares the normies.
*csi miami intro plays*
No, it's FAILURE!
I absolutely have to steal this guy for an NPC, bless you for posting this amazing character
In a one off campaign I played a posh british Goblin called Paulblart Mallcop.
Allow me to share with you MY dresden files character. When my friend asked me to join he went on about how you could make practically any kind of character you wanted with the system, so I tested that out with my character. I'll start with the back story: A stage magician down on his luck wanted to add more to his show, he purchased a book on magic from a mysterious bookstore, but he found that he could not read it, nor could he find translations online about it. In frustration he tore up the book and used it to line the cage of his show rabbit Floppsy....Floppsy happily chewed away on the pages of this book and the magician went about his practice in preparation for his next show. Then thugs working for a loan shark showed up to collect from the magician, there was a fight and the magician was struck by a hatchet one of the thugs was wielding and was killed. Witnessing this Floppsy was filled with indignant rage over this injustice...and for that matter understood the concept of justice. In an instant power filled him and he transformed into a humanoid rabbit beast destroying his cage, he knocked out the hatchet wielding thug, picked up his hatchet and killed them both. Thus Bunnyman was born. The book contained a ancient spirit of law and justice, when he consumed it he gained it's power and became a lycanthrope of sorts. He then joined up with a couple of mages and helped them on their adventures. Not only was he very strong in combat but when he was in Floppsy form he could sneak into places and spy or set up for ambushes.
Aside from transformation he also had an ability named "Out of the hat" that allowed him to teleport to any hat he has seen from any other hat. And the way he communicated was via his ability called Remembrance. This ability allowed him to ADD the memory of sensory data to peoples short term memory. So if you asked him a question he couldn't (being a rabbit) answer but a moment later you would "remember" that the little rabbit actually spoke to you.
Highlights were him keeping up with spring heeled jack, Covering the groups escape in a large crowed by making everyone remember them as wearing masks, and when demons invaded, he caused a precise chain reaction among some ruined buildings that caused them to collapse on the demons and claiming that "They ruin my city, My city ruins them...it's JUSTICE." Fun times.
Wow...just wow. That is one hell of a character.
It's beautiful... never stop making characters...
I agree. Your character's backstory is an interesting and unique one.
That was beautiful.
Best character ever
I fail to see the problem.
They let a guy afraid of tech drive. If you ask me, they got of easy with you.
Drake Darkest I mean one of his best skills is driving so they might be better off
Also depends on WHY he was afraid of tech. In the Dresden verse, anything built later than the 1950s has a bad habit of going completely kaput around anyone with more than a tiny bit of magic in them. Never played the game but, in the book-verse, letting the wrong person drive could end up being your own funeral.
Kinda odd that a magic person can still sit in the same car as long as they aren't driving. Ya think there would be an adapter to add on for those types.
Good point. It's been a few years, but I once remember Harry in the books accidentally destroying a television studio because he was sitting in it and kind of lost his cool. He was wary as hell being around all that equipment, but things were mostly fine until he actively started getting upset. So maybe if you can adequately meditate and clear/focus your mind, you can control the entropy effect that's probably behind the wonky tech? Or maybe the game system has different rules about tech than the books. Just kind of spit-balling really. It's been years since I read the books and I haven't yet had the pleasure of enjoying the game...
Also, I think the person who could invent a ring or item of clothing that prevents the insane tech issues would make you RICH in the dresdenverse :D
The problem with creating something like that is that it can't be fixed, it's just one of the random effects that happens to humans with magic because of how chaotic their essence is. As an example, in the Dresdenverse, the rules of magic are practically ever-changing. A few centuries ago, practitioners could accidentally cause milk to curdle in their vicinity, and cause flames to behave strangely.
Knowing what I know about Dresden Files, I’d think your character was a bunch of tiny folk trying to pass for a detective and only having Kung Fury as a guide.
This kinda reminds me of when i did the exact opposite. My old group knew i liked to make fun, characters with diffrent skills rather than optimal builds, so when one guy wanted to run an old 2nd edition high level module in pathfinder he said to me "don't fool around, just make something focused." Well okay...
And i checked with him every step, from the class, to the gear, to the feats and stuff. and all he said was 'whatever you want as long as its in a book and you have the gold for it." hehehe
Level 19 gunslinger pistolaro specialist with a revolver from the advanced weapons list, with a holy gun and demon-bane bullets, d8+8d6 vs touch AC 5 times a round and reload as a free action
When your party is going too well so you have to derail the hell out of it with some hard bullshit
This is like in dnd when someone rolls up an evil gnome illusionist just to make the game more chaotic
The moment the GM said "I'll sign off on everything" I could see the pendulum swinging right at everyone in the table.
I've never played TRPGs before, but even I could see the horror it would bring.
Dresden files:
Supernatural crimes in supernatural times
One of my favorite characters was a gnome with a massive Napoleon Complex and desire to prove himself the manliest gnome ever.
He was Theodore "Rex" Manly of the Manly gnome family. He had a chin that took up a (figurative) quarter of his body mass, chest hair to spare, and aviator goggles and scarf on all the time.
His catchphrase and battle cry was "Time for some manly action!"
The twist was that he was a summoner type mage, and his summoned creatures were usually the ones doing the high risk action.
What a manly person indeed
Did you make the first shrek movie villian
"A hunter loaded down with more weapons than those kids you knew in high school who wore the long trench coats."
Kincaid i think
You know when the GM says "I'll sign off on anything." that it usually means you'll probably surprise them later.
I'm a simple man, I see a Puffin Forrest upload I click like before the video even starts
*sees comments section*
*clenches buttcheeks furiously*
Never tell your players to just do what they want. They gonna test out if that's true
TheTSense
Ominous music plays. Slow zoom in with color palette change.
DETECTIVE DETECTIVE SAVAGE "SAVAGE RAGE" RAGE! This is just incredible
"I didn't put any ranks in investigation."
"But you- you're a detective!"
"I'm not one of those detectives that investigates things, investigating is for people who don't know what their doing."
So you made a Konosuba character.
Honestly, konosuba is a great representation of what playing dnd is like.
I want to hear more of Detective Detective Savage “Savage Rage” Rage
I love how on my screen the next video playing is "5 Players you don't want at your D&D table" XD
Same here 😀
I love this so much. It reminds me of the saga of Old Man Henderson in Call of Cthulhu.
Ale_Fiend "ARE YE NAMBLES BE KEEPEN ME WEE MEN!?"
I never knew I needed to read that story before I found it. More people need to know of that beauty!
Except for the fact that Old Man Henderson was designed to counteract the very "Rocks Fall Everyone Dies" GM who was super railroading.
Exactly what I was thinking
all i did was google 'old man henderson.'
thank you.
no seriously, i just spent an hour and a half of my life reading the henderson saga, and my life could never, never be more complete as it is now. Now if you excuse me...
oh canada, our home and native land...
I still can't tell if I'd enjoy having you in my campaign or if it would be insta regret lololol
Both.
Once a player makes an army of exploding donkeys in your game, you hardly regret anything that happens, also, said player found a way to translate it into different systems........maybe we sohuldn't have moved from dnd to mage to prevent it, in the first place tho, man, it just takes one player thinking slightly outside the box to completely break that game....
santiagogs15 How was this accomplished and can I replicate it in the 5e game I'm playing?
After the rest of my party killed my first character for hoarding gold, I introduced my next character, Re. "Just Re?" they asked. No, Re is just the first name, I have a last name as well. "What?" It's Venge. "Your name is Re-Venge" Yep.
Did they take the foreshadowing?
Did he survive?
So what did Re-Venge do as Revenge
"Detective detective Savage "Savage rage" rage, GO TO YOUR ROOM!"
"BUT MOM!"
BUT MAAAAAAAAAAAR---
No his name is detective savage "savage rage" rage. That first detective was just the title :D
I love detective Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage's tiny stickman arms.
3:08 “San Diego is America’s finest city”
Good Joke
I was looking for this, I laughed at the thought. I'm sure it's a beautiful area, but crime is absolutely more prolific. As someone who lives in an area with about 2/3 the people, I can't imagine how shitty it must actually be to live there.
@@Undedproduction I'd disagree with you, but then I remember that I live in north county; a good 25 miles from the actual city.
Today I had my first experience on D&D. You were an inspiration for us to begin playing, so I feel like writing this even if it's not seen.
I arrived late, so I joined after a quest my friends began, they spent hours trying to slay four goblins because being noobs we had a hard time understanding the basics of almost everything. They slay 3 goblins, they decide to torture the last one for information, bind him and try to force him join our quest. Of course GM states it will betray us sooner or later, but they load him to our carriage and force feed him a few days. After starting another quest, we arrive at a cave, I constantly argue that we should kill the goblin (who they named Gimbo as they grew attached despite it having more than enough reasons to kill us in our sleep). In the cave, we come across a huge monster that talks telepathically, one of my friends offends him, but we strike a deal: 3 live bandits as food for our lives and passage to the quest objective. As we leave, I offer Gimbo as a sacrifice in exchange for knowledge of any ruin/relic in the cave (trying to roleplay my character, a wizard-scholar willing to do anything for knowledge) but I am ignored by everyone (arguing about how combat works) and heard by the GM, who is also ignored as the creature takes Gimbo as food. Going a few rooms into a ruin we find, they want Gimbo to climb a wall and open a door, when GM reminds them the monster has it and why I did it. Everyonr gets mad at me for role-playing and selling their slave-humiliated pet with enough reasons to murder us all, and charge into battle to save Gimbo. We arrive just before the monster eats Gimbo, the farmer-hero shoots an arrow to distract the monster, I roll and land a very weak Magic Missile (3 points on the system we work out) but instead target Gimbo, I had hoped to slay him in a single attack and end this "he will turn" debate, with my friends getting more annoyed about my intentions to save them, believing they can turn "this wild creature of evil into a good NPC companion". It was fun, hoping to see what happens next week on our quest.
That sounds interesting. You seem like one who lacks in morality but makes up with rationality.
Flynn Tom It was fun, I was just trying to play as what the pre-determined character was described, can't wait for next week to play more
Revolver "Revolver Ocelot" Ocelot (Revolver Ocelot), meet Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage
This has quickly become one of my favorite CZcams series
Hell ya Kung Fury
Wow. You just... admitted it to us.
That probably took a lot of courage, Ben. Thank you for sharing it.
Know, that no matter what we think - we won't judge you.
The second you referenced Kung Fury was the exact moment that I pushed the like button furiously.
We need to see a Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage vs. Dick Tracey crossover
YES!
OH GOD YES
That would make an amazing buddy cop movie!
Cameos by Justin Case, and his cousin Justin Time.
I wanna hear more about savage rage
I want to hear more stories about this, because this can NOT be the only funny thing in this.
Wow, Savage Rage has actually managed to de-throne Mad Dog "the Strangler" McGraw As king ridiculous names
i kinda wanna hear more from detective rage
Please, more Savage Rage. That character deserves his own miniseries.
I think more than one of us would PAY MONEY to join you in one of your RPG sessions. That was just hilarious.
This is the greatest character ever made.
Dont worry miss detective detective savage "savage rage" rage is on the case
*clenches butt cheeks furiously*
fixed
God these videos give me life
KUNG FURY! HE'S A MAN OF THE LAW!
RIDDLED WITH CRIMMMMMMMMMMMME!
I'm laughing so hard at this omg.
This video made me laugh so much it almost hurt.
It was 3 am when I saw this video, everyone in home woke up because I was laughing really really hard
I love your depiction of the GM on a cloud btw
ya its kindof a bad idea to give RPG vets 100% unchecked free reign on character creation. you'll either get something game breaking or inept and hilarious.
TinyTyranitar hey just set one limit on the inept and ridiculous: as long as it works but not hinders.
Sometimes both '>.>
I need to hear more, please! Also, anything regarding Dresden Files from you would be so appreciated!
N.Might Slapallama I want to see a point in the story where he is actually Useful
For my very first RPG session, I was playing with a group of friends. They were starting a new D&D campaign and I joined, but since I lived out of state at the time and this was before Skype, it was only going to be a one-off session for me. Because of this, I decided not to worry too much about stats and make sure my top priority was memorability rather than competency.
I made a chaotic neutral female dwarf barbarian named Gertrude Dungwrangler, of the clan Dungwrangler, the finest dung wranglers this side of the Silver Mountains. The Dungwranglers were renowned for the high quality manure their cattle made, which was used as fertilizer by farmers across the empire. Because of this, the Dungwranglers were wealthy, respected, and highly influential in the politics of the empire. Gertrude, however, brought immense shame on the family because of her severe alcoholism and was disowned by her family. She wandered the frontier with a battle axe in one hand and a keg of ale on her shoulder (she never went anywhere without it) until one day she wandered into a tavern and met the adventuring party. Gertrude and the bard were instantly smitten with each other, despite the fact that she reeked of cow dung and cheap beer, and she agreed to join in their quest to get a treasure map and plunder an ancient tomb, provided the team pay for all her booze.
In order to find the tomb the team needed to steal a treasure map which was hidden on an ancient parchment in a local museum. Because Gertrude was constantly chugging ale she also constantly had a full bladder, and she used that to her advantage, sitting down and peeing into an urn containing the ashes of a beloved former king. As the guards tried to catch her, but kept slipping on the puddles of urine Gertrude made as she continued peeing while running, the rogue deftly snatched the parchment and snuck away. The party was kicked out of the town and ordered to never return on pain of death for desecrating the remains of a beloved ruler.
After an encounter with a pack of wolves (Gertrude tried to establish dominance by "marking" the alpha wolf, which went about as well as you'd expect) and a run-in with a bandit gang (Gertrude chopped off the leader's head and peed down his neck), the party reached the tomb, or so they thought. It turns out that the building was not a tomb, but an ancient temple connected to the Underdark, and a Drow scouting party was preparing a staging camp for a massive raiding party to follow. The adventurers decided to attack the scouts, and one of the adventuring party suggested that they make Gertrude's ale keg into a makeshift bomb. As it was about time for me to leave, I decided to send Gertrude out in a blaze of glory. She agreed and lit her keg on fire, then charged at the Drow. As the bard started screaming "JUST ROLL THE BARREL!" she shouted back "The barrel is all I have left! If it goes, I go!" She ran into the middle of the Drow party and said, "Hey, boys, the drinks are on me," just as the keg exploded, killing Gertrude, a half-dozen Drow, and lighting the rest on fire.
It's been well over a decade, and my friends still say it was one of their favorite sessions ever.
You are a genius! I havent laughed this hard the whole week and Ive seen a lot of funny things :D
Thanks for going through the effort of writing all that down to share with us!
Oh myGOF
"I'll sign off without checking" famous last words
And the GM learned a valuable lesson that day.
Never tell someone, "Whatever" as they may take you up on it.
more weapons than those kids you knew in school who wore those long trench coats... I'm Dead
I need to know more about this character. I am willing to pay money.
I feel like this character got killed off quickly
This has to be the best RPG story yet!!! Fracking awesome dude!!!
0:14 pump up kick intensifies
Steven Skaggs Thought I was the only one who got that 😂
And this is why GM's need session zeros
weird. I clicked on this video and I heard ominous music all around me as my room began to zoom in for a second.
Ben, I was literally rewatching this video, because of the obvious humor reason while walking home from the gym. Literally, right as you described the tires squeal to a stop, a car peels out right next to me making the auditory all the more real. Keep up the great work.
A lesson to all DM's. DON'T GIVE A CARTE BLANCHE!
I really need to give MORE carte-blanche, actually - Savage Rage seems like he added a whole new dimension of memorable fun to the game. Most of my players have been so conservative and cautious with their characters, I think I'd enjoy seeing more "Savage Rage" or "Abserd" style silliness....
And don't even get me started on those optimized Frankenstein monsters cobbled together from all the "best" mathematics to be found in a library of dozens or hundreds of core books, splatbooks, setting books, magazines, and shady back-alley fourth-party productions full of wildly broken content, built specifically to milk that last fraction of a point possible out of the game system, and given names with barely more personality than "Optimized Half-Human-Half-Elf-Half-Dragon-Half-Drow-Half-Vampire-Cyborg Ninja/Fighter/Dragon-Tickler #37", and a description that looks something like "He looks like all the other Optimized Half-Human-Half-Elf-Half-Dragon-Half-Drow-Half-Vampire-Cyborg Ninja/Fighter/Dragon-Ticklers, except he's a stoic lone wolf with no family or friends, he has a scar, a black trenchcoat, and quadruple-wielded katanas, and he's badass." Savage Rage sounds like he has more personality and fun than all the optimized characters I've ever heard of combined....
Investigations are a waste of time. Every investigator knows that if you want to make any progress, you need to pretend to get your shoes shined and slip a 20 to Johnny the Snitch.
God damn, more detective savage rage please
3:06 DM: "San Diego is America's finest city!"
Cope and seethe, DM!
As a GM I too have heard that ominous music when I let players do whatever at chargen.
Creepy stuff.
care to share at least one of those stories?
The true test of any person is what they do when given unlimited power. You... passed? Maybe?
This is the best channel in existence. Never have I ever laughed so much of stories like this XD Keep them coming!!
3:54 - "You are the worst detective." - "And you keep driving despite being the worst driver."
>San Diego
>America's finest city
Your GM has never been to San Diego, has he?
Probably not
what are America's finest cities?
magnusorion0 Montreal Canada
It was an alternative universe. Detroit could have been the capital of civilization for all we know.
Its a crime ridden hellhole underpinned by magical darkness throughout the Dresden chronicles, not sure what the dm was reading
I once made a character from Hong Kong Action Theatre who was basically Casey Jones from TMNT. His one powerful skill was "Hockey Punch" and he would pill people's shirts over their heads and mercilously beat them.
I just love these consistent uploads :D keep up the great work!!!
Always always always check your players' characters. Always. For two reasons:
1) If you don't trust your players, they will use it to get away with shit.
2) If you do trust your players, it's disrespectful to ask them to write a character and not take the time to look it over.
To be fair if I had seen the character sheet for a player like this I would not have stopped them. Though I tend to not be bothered by characters who don't fit the usual mold. I once had a ranger in a D&D game who could not use a bow and had a house cat as his companion.
Sure, the character he made actually doesn't sound that bad. The issue wasn't the character he made, it's that I think it's an irresponsible and/or disrespectful thing to do if you're a DM to not even read a character's bio.
I'm a pretty new DM, and I love checking character sheets for backstory info so I can see how I'll work it in the campaign.
My Barb had a potentially angsty backstory (slayed a group in rage) but I made it so they were secretly an overthrown tyrant and his loyalist, and now a reward awaits him, if only he had proof. . .
meaninglessprose I do the same thing, it's a great feeling when you reference an event from a player's backstory and they get excited.
my full name is danny daniel danielson
Is your dad's name Daniel?
no, it's dave davy danielson
When you ever get a Son, name him David Dave Davy Danny Daniel Darlek Danielson, in honor of your father.
way ahead of you
Oh Danny boy the pipes, the pipes are calling.
The DM should know better than to give someone that much power
San Diego is actually having a huge problem with bums pooping on sidewalks and it's causing a rise in hepatitis A. So good monologue.
Dude, I love your videos and animations. You have an awesome sense of humour, it's always a good time.