The CIA’s Manual on How to be Annoying
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- čas přidán 21. 05. 2024
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Finally, government-approved trolling guidelines
Time to do a little of government approved trolling
Send ATGMs to Ukraine
Advanced Trolling Government Manuals
@@Attaxalotl no match to russian trolls
@@insertobject4002 We cannot allow a trolling gap. I suggest taking advice from younger siblings everywhere; mine in particular.
@@Attaxalotl For real. Forget the missile gap or the fighter gap, we need to step up our trolling game
To be fair, burning down a building is very annoying.
Miximum annoyance.
I would indeed be annoyed if someone burnt down my house
Lets test that theory!
More than a slight inconvenience
"Oh dang it, Kevin burned down HQ... again"
This CIA document has serious Monty Python energy. I love that some tips for being unproductive boil down to basic bureaucracy, and that each section basically seems to end with "Oh, and also arson."
"quick, the warehouse is on fire, grab the buckets!"
"I think we should refer this to the committee for supervision of the use of vessels containing extinguishing fluids, unfortunately their next meeting is the third Friday of August at 11:30am."
You just gave me an idea for the next Monty python movie... Too bad no one will make it.
Next season of American dad, they have to use this.
@@EsotericBibleSecrets It's already established that Steven is afraid of moths because they will "get their dust on him." So the advice about releasing moths in a movie theater will definitely work on him.
@@NiftyKnot -The buckets are all substandard quality, possibly leaky.
The greatest saboteur i ever heard of was a French railway worker who would swap the cards on French goods wagons so things like U boat propellers ended up at the russian front and tank ammunition ended up at a U boat base.
Sabateur need not be grand. Just be a troll.
Now that's some master level trolling right there
Amazing
+
french W
The highest compliment you can pay a spy is to say "him? He's too dumb to be a spy"
spies like us
I missed my calling.
The worst insult is "You are the most famous spy in the world"
There was a soviet spy who claimed that he was a soviet spy and no one believed him.
@@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 The names Bond, James Bond.
"Release two to three dozen large moths" keeps getting funnier every time I hear it.
The specified number is what gets me :D
It's genius. They're going to think there's a moth infestation, who would guess that someone had moths under their jacket
Prove that Moth Man is a WW2 veteran
30-50 feral hogs energy
my life goal
"Miximum" is genius lol, what a beautifully simple way to instill as much confusion as possible with a single typo
One of my elementary teachers who tried diagnosing me bipolar used to say that. I guess I understand what she was trying to do now
miximum confusion
I think this is less "how to be annoying" and more "how to sabotage a hostile authority in a way that is plausibly not deliberate".
To that hostile authority, it would be considered annoying.
Ugh Jimmy, I can't believe you committed arson again! How annoying!
yep looks like the gop playbook for the past 40 years.
Which is as a matter of fact a question of survival for oppressed people. Getting caught or even just being sufficiently suspected of active sabotage is a pretty safe way to get shot or worse. Keep in mind that opressing states do not tend to honor things like rule of law in the first place so they may end up shooting you anyway even if you are in fact unguilty.
But if you play "stupid", you bring up an interesting dilemma for the oppressor: He can
- control your every move - very inefficient and inconclusive because when under direct supervision, you will work reasonable well
- randomly shot unguilty people - causes a lot of terror and thus will embolden the resistance. This will also lead to most people only doing precisely the things that they are told which is horrible for work efficiency.
This is very hard to fight successfuly and one of the reasons why propaganda tries as hard as it can to gain at least some support of the local population.
In real life, this - notwithstanding the seemingly accidental arson in the toilet - is something you will encounter in any country's bureacracy at any time, without a CIA-operative ever being involved. Arguably, putting the natural tendencies of new employees without any CIA-training on how to be annoying into a systematic manual like this probably would make the targeted societies more efficient, since people are now strategically thinking about doing these things consciously, rather than just doing it without any thought at all.
So the most likely explanation for why that manual even existed, specially because it is sort of publicised, and that as he points out in the video, you would have all kinds of efficiency issues happening once a country is occupied all by itself somehow anyway - this is a way to bureacratically take credit in the US for these occupations going sideways in Europe.
Since this is oddly current in a sense, it bears to be mentioned that a lot of these procedures - that could just as well have been made by listening to frat-boys coming into office on any random day and typing it all down - were forwarded to the anti-communism effort in the various Soviet sattelites, and combined with a general hyping of the many Soviet bureacratic failures.
I thought a certain person with certain political connections in the US was making a joke - this happened in the late 90s - but the guy was actually taking credit for the abysmal state of various bureacracies in east-block countries as a sign of democracy about to take hold.
So there you go: people are not lazy, stupid and inefficient, exploiting every loophole to avoid doing their job, and taking money under the table to abuse the system in place for their own benefit and that of their close circle. Oh, no. No, no, my naive child - they are thirsting for democracy!
Wow, using the word "miximum" so they can't tell if the typo is minimum or maximum is so petty and devious! I love it.
I once did spell checker work for someone I didn't like. I replaced every "I'll see you tomorrow with I'll see your tumor raw."
And I put a space in every word that was TheRapist.
It is very pretty, yes.
If you’re doing a mailshoot, make every prefix the same in your database (eg, “Rabbi”), or change every Mr. to a Ms.
It's also good at causing problems when you mix up your miximum and miximum tolerances, voltages, etc.
What Sam didn't know, is that 90% of his audience already read the book so they can be annoying in the comment section.
SILENCE!
Bricks!
It's why I haven't purchased story blocks yet. I'm being stupid in order to facilitate the downfall of modern society
@@lordfluff2394 that's gonna take a lot of stupid considering the already overwhelming amount the world has rn
This requires further study. Let's assemble a committee to investigate further.
Another tip they give is that if you're a supervisor, you should promote the most incompetent workers. I always wondered if one saboteur ever promoted another one without either of them being sure they were on the same team.
While this lowers Moral it might actually be better to promote people who are really good at their job to management positions so the executive jobs are only done by people who are bad at that job
@@lassehoffmann625 Apparently you think skill at the basic job is inversely correlated with leadership ability, while OP thinks that skill at the basic job is positively correlated with leadership ability. I'm not sure which of you is right, but I just wanted to point out that differing assumption.
@@Tzizenorec technical skill doesn't equate to leadership skill, but idiots will forever be idiots.
@@Tzizenorec If you assume that skill at the basic job is independent of leadership ability, it would make sense to move people who are particularly good at their jobs into other jobs which they might be either good or bad at just so they aren't doing the job they are particularly good at.
@@quantumshark_5350 On the other hand, there isn't much an excellent worker can do when being led by a real imbecile.
The CIA invented DDOS'ing to annoy Nazi telecommunications. What legends.
Lmao omg yeah
And they didn't even do it properly. Dialling the number without the last digit and then putting the receiver down beside the phone would have been more effective. If multiple people do that, they can block all connections to a block of numbers without them even noticing.
@@HenryLoenwind Elaborate? How come that works?
@@HenryLoenwind Awesome, thanks for the really clear explanation. Is there any way they guarded against that though? Surely people could easily use that to prank / annoy others and not even be found out?
@@HenryLoenwind That would be more effective, but it is also very noticeable and the authorities would be quick to punish civilians for doing this.
It's weirdly comforting knowing the CIA does acknowledge these things as being annoying
I think they studied me, hi, I'm annoying!
It's because it's easy to see the CIA as a bunch of blank expression people with no personality doing things mechanically with uber efficiency , but deep down we know the organization is ran by real humans with a sense of humor as well.
@@enjakuro7048 hello annoying. I am dad
@@neothechosenone1502 That's what the lizard men want you to think!
@@lyxivia I know you're joking, but the truth is we like to see the horrors of society caused by men in black suits that are completely different from us and whom have lost their humanity. We like to believe "one day in the future, the common man will replace these cold hearted amphibians and the world will be a better place". All the suffering in the world will be gone when good people get in power
Well that day will never come. The cold hard truth is that some of the worst parts of history have been done with good intentions. It may be hard to believe, but a lot of the people at the CIA genuinely thought they were always doing the greater good.
People don't wake up in the morning and think they're evil. Everyone thinks they're heroes.
I think this book must've been mistakenly used as a management training manual at some point
So many flashbacks when it got to the “have a conference when more critical work needs to be done.”
> Managers and Supervisors: To lower morale and production, be pleasant to inefficient workers; give them undeserved promotions. Discriminate against efficient workers; complain unjustly about their work.
I hate it when my manager releases dozens of large moths into the office and then burns the building down.
The OSS “Simple Sabotage Field Manual” from WWII was declassified and I swear the section on Organizations was entirely implemented into the German company I work for and persists to this day to make everything needlessly complicated.
Committees for everything and no less than 5 people in them are commandments from the middle management bible.
Some more tips that weren't mentioned in the video:
1. Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
2. Write out the names of all the colors of the rainbow, but use a blue pen to write "red", a green pen to write "orange", a yellow pen to write "blue", etc.
3. Purposefully drop a wallet, pen, or some other object on the ground, then just stare at it and do nothing. When somebody else finally decides to pick it up for you, suddenly point and yell, "HEY, THAT'S MINE!"
4. Clap and cheer every time someone in one of the other stalls in the restroom makes a bodily function noise.
5. Take dumps in urinals.
I really like these except number 5 is actually a WAR CRIME or it should be. Anyway in this context it sure as hell wouldn't have been the Germans cleaning it up
#5 reminds me of that time the whole company I worked at was made redundant. Someone took a dump in the shower. Management called everyone into a meeting the next day and absolutely lost their shit. Everyone smiled.
It’s not the CIA without a few crimes against humanity
@@brandondegraaf im pretty sure they gained more shit lol
Didn’t know my middle school was following government approved trolling guidelines
As a German, I feel like a crucial piece of advice was missing from this video: at every possible moment, eat something where it is inappropriate and don't clean up after yourself. Litter as much as possible. The soldiers will be too busy compulsively cleaning detritus to be effective
Chances are, the soldiers would point a gun at you and make you clean the detritus. But at least you aren't doing anything productive for them.
Also, promise strudel but never bring the strudel
+
Chewing gum is ideal because you won't gain as much weight, you can hide in just about every horrible location and it's hell to clean up :D
😂😂😂
The overlap between a CIA document to be annoying and just normal office work is shocking
Well it is a matter of fact that all managers are secretly CIA agents in disguise, so that's why.
I know right? Like...all of the us employees are forced to read this.
That's why my office keeps burning down...!
@@Klayperson shouldn't have worked in a building.
Yes, I can confirm I release 2-3 dozen moths in office buildings
There was an American POW during the Vietnam war that feigned stupidity so well that the captors let him into all kinds of sensitive areas thinking he was too mentally inept to be of any harm. They called him "The Incredibly Stupid One". He was released later in the war and ended up testifying about the atrocities he'd seen and provided crucial intelligence.
POW: a slave but givena different name, so liberals can pretend they don't condone of slavery.
Lmao
"Shoot that man."
"Sir, he's retarded. That would be mean."
"Damn okay. Have him go clean up the top secret safe and organize everything in it by date, alphabet, and subject."
What was his name?
@@LightPink Doug Hegdahl - he pretended to be stupid and illiterate. Even when they tried to teach him how to read, he pretended to be too dumb to learn. They let him basically roam freely since he was no threat. So, he used that freedom to memorize the personal info of hundreds of other POWs, memorized the route to the prison, and disabled 5 trucks in the camp.
I knew a woman who told a story about when she was a little girl in occupied France. Every morning, they had a routine. She'd wake up and milk the cows, and split the milk into two jugs. One jug went into the house to make butter, and the other went by the front door, for the SS officers who came and got it later. She'd get finished around 5am, her brother would then wake up at 5:30, take his morning piss in the jug on the front porch, and then the Nazis would show up to pick up the milk at 6am.
Well.
Cute story, but the milk would curdle instantly and would taste awful. This doesn't make sense the SS would just not notice that.
Nice
@@nailslacquer listen dude im just relating the story here. also when was the last time you pissed in a 25 gallon jug of milk to see if it curdled
@@Ith4qua 25 gallons of milk? I'm not aware of a 25 gallon milk jug that's not commercial.
I started DYING laughing at the "there is a CIA spy hellbent on destroying your workplace and it is your responsibility to take them out" part. I just imagine a very mentaly unwell person hearing that and using it as a take off point.
As this whole video’s bound to be ones😂
well america's already had its fair share of derranged internetman related killings this year and then many much more so I hope not.
Would make a good movie plot, honestly.
All I can imagine now is a handful of CIA analysts in a conference room in Langley brainstorming these things as if they were frat guys coming up with pranks and laughing their asses off
They brought in some “local experts” from the nearest colleges and told them to get creative
"Bob, how many ways can you think of getting away with arson"
"Well Jim, my father was an arsonist, so get used to writing the word fire"
@J - Sabre clever
Given this was during the War Years, the thought should be Serious Men doing this Seriously to Change The Course Of The Entire War. Which is funnier? You decide.
Me? It's the second. "Everyone must do everything they can! Gather moths to hurt the Nazi Threat!"
More like they were talking about the few office douchebags they hated in the CIA. Basically "be like Bob from accounting - if the enemy had more like him, they'd self-destruct."
Imagine having the CIA be the reason why your salmon dish tastes like shit
That old CIA's no match for the king!
There's a lot of guys in the kitchen who's only experience is the CIA. They'll tell you all about it, too. CIA this, CIA that. Like, look: we're all very glad you got into the Culinary Institute of America, but this is the real world, and we have Nazis to irritate, okay? Order up!
@@scintillam_dei i like the reference lol
███████╗
██╔════╝
█████╗░░
██╔══╝░░
███████╗
╚══════╝
At least you finally know what's for dinner.
Funny, in Poland we learn at a young age about the "Small Sabotage". When Poland was under Nazi occupation Polish Underground State and regular civilians did what they could to disrupt German operations. Anti-nazi graffiti's and posters were put on the walls, tear gas was thrown in the restaurants and cinemas used by Germans, workers would purposely break their tools, and so on. My favourite gotta be placing the German sign, "Nur für Deutsche" meaning "Only for Germans", in selected sites such as cemeteries or on lampposts.
And remember that in occupied Poland people were killed en masse for the smallest of transgressions, or even just to subdue the population with terror.
I highly recommend reading Stones for the Rampart by Aleksander Kamiński.
Tear gas doesn't sound like "small sabotage"...
@@malcomchase9777 well, the alternative was shooting some VIP Nazi .
@@malcomchase9777 well. It even backfired that people just went to cinema to experience being tear gased :v
@@malcomchase9777 I imagine "big sabotage" involved more ambuitious stuff like destruction of infrastructure. Dams, canals, railways, power stations, ports, that kind of thing. There was World War 2 on at the time, y'know.
@@RAFMnBgaming What I'm trying to say is that broken tools are "small", easy to conceal, sabotage. Even graffiti is still normal, isn't it? An all-out tear gas attack doesn't have the low profile nor deniability that the other examples of "small" sabotage have.
"Release two to three dozen large moths"
Honestly, one dozen just wouldn't be the same.
In Nazi-occupied France the Citroen factory sabotaged the trucks they were forced to build for the Wehrmacht by putting the fill line on the dipstick lower than it should be, so the engines would always be low on oil.
America in 2022: Pathetic
@@cllncl
"Schindler and I are like peas in a pod! We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, damn it!"
They still do that today don't they
@@shadowfan982 Someone forgot to reset the fill line.
@@cllncl Huh?
It’s quite the leap from “steal all the toilet paper” to “burn the building down.” Although, you do have all that toilet paper… good kindling 🔥
Well, what else are you supposed to do when they take your stapler?
@@CubicApocalypse128 and the ratio of people to cake is too high.
Professional spy saboteurs: take all the toilet paper, win the war
Everyone in 2020: take all the toilet paper, have no toilet paper
Every prisoner Ever knows this, and many have implemented it.
I love how arson is simply considered an annoyance, and is implied to be a common one.
"handling luggage as nosily as possible in the night" had me absolutely rolling
I've never laughed so much at a CIA document
Barely sociable has one about CIA cafeteria complaints. Shit is gold.
Same
Just read the manual of "how to overthrow a perfectly functional government, elected democratically that just so happens to not be so in line with the current US global plans"
This book was only released in poor or developing countries tho
@@alexgiangreco3754 Lmao thx for the recommendation
How many CIA documents do u know of lol
I never knew my little brother was a CIA agent
Is thy profile picture the XB-70?
@@dannypipewrench533 indeed
@@xb70valkyriech Very nice. I became aware of the XB-70 after I purchased the "Nuclear War" card game from the gift shop of the Titan II museum south of Tucson, Arizona. I did some research, and I have found that it is a very interesting aircraft.
@@dannypipewrench533 if you ever get a chance, go see the real thing at the Air Force museum in Dayton Ohio, very epic
@@xb70valkyriech I might just have to, if I ever end up in Ohio. Which is fairly likely, as my family goes to Wisconsin and Illinois every few years, and I want to explore the surrounding areas. The Great Lakes region is wonderful.
It is amazing how many mid level managers are OSS agents.
Labor Unions should start using these tactics instead of outright striking. Owners would lose thousands by the time they caught on.
What a terrible idea lol
Already a tried and proven union tactic. The term for it is a "work slowdown."
Except aren't half these tactics just things corporations already do?
But there r fire codes now
In 1943-4, my father was an apprentice toolmaker for Meeaf, a subsidiay of Werkspoor in Zuilen (now a suburb of Utrecht). He learnt sbotage techniques which could not be proved to be such; for example, when a die was needed to press and form a run of 250 unique instrument needles in 1,6mm aluminium, he made a massive die, with 40mm thick dieplate, sprung stripper, and a punch machined from a huge block of tool steel....for a shot-run, one-off line of parts! The Germans never even suspected the huge waste of materials or the excessive energy needed for hardening and tempering, or noticed that the die was designed to create as much scrap aluminium as possible.. Sabotage by incremental wastage.
So that's what other engineers are doing, I just thought they had no idea what they were doing and we're just over building everything for fun
What a waste...
As a machinist and fabricator, I solute your dad. Malicious compliance done deviously right. May his chip load be fair, feed rates constant, pilot holes square, and taps unbroken.
The funny part is that someone who didn't know much about machining might commend him for building it so well.
The CIA are amateurs! They could learn a thing or two from me. See my friends tell me I’m the most annoying thing on earth beating out pinworms as well as the hampster dance and I haven’t ever even read a manual on it.
I bet you eat your Swedish meatball with a knife just to be more annoying
…
Weird thing to _brag_ about.
Same
@share23Jc nah if your annoying Ur just annoying nobody else is gonna like them
*hamster
3:41 I’m gonna refer to this manual when explaining to people that clapping at the end of the movie is not only stupid but annoying. Even the CIA said so!
The idea of using a dot of wax to cover a hole a fuel line that rests over an exhaust is absolutely... absolutely devious.
2:10 Just under the highlighted paragraph it reads "(1) Whenever possible, arrange to have the fire start after you have gone away."
Such helpful advice xD
"Whenever possible" i.e. "try not to be there during the fire, but if you are, that's fine too"
The crucial piece of advice is that the fire should start, or be first observed, after you have left. It was a manual how to disrupt huge companies with worktime clocks and punch cards, and a huge office/factory park, so it makes sense to include advice for the less able saboteurs who could think that returning directly to their station right after starting a non-fused fire is not going to be noticed.
Cool guys don't look at explosions.
I love the idea of punching row after row of holes in every card, just for the hell of it.
Make sure every employee time travels to and from work. Lol
The DMV also has a manual on being annoying. It is mandatory reading for all employees.
The DMV doesnt have a manual, I think they naturally just attract annoying people to work there lmao
Is the American DMV really that bad, as is portrayed everywhere?
@@Darwinek It used to be pretty bad, the stereotypes and jokes were quite accurate. I don't know much about how other states are doing but here in Florida they've gotten pretty good in the past 5-10 years
@@Darwinek If you have been to any country's equivalent of the DMV - its always bad. Its usually the backlogs and the complicated and tedious procedures to get anything done in related to the DMV that damages its reputation.
Still its fun to poke fun at ineffective bureaucracy and the DMV epitomizes that.
@@mosesracal6758 "DMV" in my country used to be pretty bad. Now it's quite okay actually. Last time I've been there I was done in 5-10 minutes.
The whole “miximum”/“manimum” actually had me in stitches lol
According to the foreward of this book, it's been translated into dozens of other languages and has been used against British and American forces on many occasions.
E pluribus unum.
This video gave me a miximum amount of knowledge and enjoyment.
This comment annoys me
I’m all mixed up now! Did you mean maximum or minimum?
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! my nazi agenda! it's in tatters! time to lose ww2!
Definitely mean maximum giving the context. YOU HAVE BEEN EXPOSED!
@@johnnylego807 You have a miximal brain possible.
Most annoying thing: constantly ask Nazi overlords stupid question to keep them from doing their jobs. Making sure to say "I just want to do everything correctly!!"
Like those annoying people who keep stopping by my cubical to ask stupid questions or just to be annoying.
Did you just imply you were a nazi?
This sounds like the idea of "malicious compliance"
I hate to admit it, but this sounds like me.
And then make sure to go to every other employee and crosscheck every answer, being sure to get a component or two wrong so you have to backtrack a few times.
If ive explained something to you in detail multiple times and you still ask me how to do it. i will brain you
"ugh, Steve burned down the office again. He is so annoying. 🙄" 😂
I will take that "replacing all maximums and minimums with miximums" to heart. It's glorious.
I learnt from a Methodist minister who had been a chaplain in the Middle East during the second world war, that the driver of a troop train in Syria ensured that the soldiers would arrive tired, bad-tempered and generally out of sorts by sounding the whistle every few minutes throughout the journey.
haha, making those who want to liberate their country work much harder. very funny
@@ChangedNames
You assume he viewed them as liberators and not as multiple sets of occupiers bickering over who would control his country. If he had even half a brain he'd know they're the latter and not the former.
Just because it makes good sense for you and I to sympathize with the allies it doesn't make them the unquestionably good guys. They were at best the lesser evil and in many parts of the colonized world the difference between the two was much less substantial than in the European theatre.
@@ChangedNames "making those who want to liberate their country work much harder"
* continue to occupy their country decades later *
@@someguy4512 The French left in 1946, so not decades. Colonialism should be resisted, but Nazis are worse.
@@questionmaker5666 "Colonialism should be resisted, but Nazis are worse."
yeah sure Nazis are way worst for killing Europeans! not as if the British were responsible for famines and countless deaths of Indians and Bangladeshies during the war and thats by importing food and resources from their own colonies, and thats not even counting what India east company did in the past.
also the Belgians in Congo especially under Leopold II, the French in Algeria after WW2 and in IndoChina among other colonies.
and also I find it weird how there is pro Axis troops and got non white soldiers among the Wehrmacht, u got Iraqis and other arabs, Tartars, Cossacks, Azerbaijanis, Armenians, Indians, Turkestani, Uzbek and so on which is ironic.
1:51 when the stock footage breaks the book its actually in 11 pieces, good job whoever did it
why were you paying attention to that
@@trippie9312 to be annoying
That's probably not a stock footage
Half As Interesting -not to be confused with Wendover Productions- explicitly stated that Americans mastered the art of being annoying before the CIA did. If you are not American then you have ascended beyond the CIA and will be thoroughly welcomed in states such as Florida.
@@dex6316 *Minnesota
Europe: Omfg how do we be annoying????
America: Allow us to introduce ourselves
The best way to be annoying is to sing the chorus of a song in an office and then act like you forget the rest and just keep singing the chorus.
2:57 way at the bottom under b2 it says "Exchange the colored (sic) lenses on red and green lights" and i just absolutely love that and also am *deathly* afraid of the results of that idea too
What would that do?
@@darkithnamgedrf9495 It's probably for traffic lights for trains to make them go when they shouldn't and stop when they should go.
@@darkithnamgedrf9495 Red lights look green
Green lights look red
Enough said
@@musicexams5258 But don't do it to every traffic light, otherwise you'd simply reverse who goes first and last.
@@questionmaker5666 Half of all traffic lights should work, then everyone has green at the same time, right?
I feel like this is only accelerating a natural process. The "laying flat" and "let it rot" movements in mainland China seem strikingly similar, though less organized.
laying flat is more of a counter movement to increased competition resulting in harder work for less pay. Not wanting to work 20 hours a day to barely survive does not make you a CIA asset wishing to destabilize the leadership. I'd say that fighting against unfair things actually makes you more patriotic than someone who doesn't.
@@real_dddf You seem to have misunderstood. I'm saying the CIA is emulating a natural phenomena that happens when people give up on their society.
In china the buildings are already built as bad as possible. There is little room for sabotage when everything is already bad.
@@EsotericBibleSecrets Those construction policies are the result of a government which does not care for its people. There is no need for active sabotage in China because the CCP sabotages itself.
@@EsotericBibleSecrets and maybe people following these suggestions is the reason for that...
It's refreshing to learn that most of the disrupting activities for office work are often present in the modern corporate world, at least we know where management coaches are getting their references from
This is hilarious, but makes total sense. They have guides and breakdowns for everything you can imagine. This is all vital information when your trying to control, infiltrate, or get out of situations. These people are highly trained on specifics as such. Very interesting. This allows them to control the situation they are in.
Does it include “so the thing about my NFT is that its different because-“
"this is the best time to invest in crypto!" XD
🤣🤣🤣 Excellent comment!
Blockchain don't lie bro
The only ones making money off of NFTs are the ones making them.
I am going to try this.
@@dannypipewrench533 its a piramid scheme, truly
Book publishers should get the cover of “how to win friends and influence people” and just fill the rest with this cia document. Would be an annoying yet funny prank
having read "how to win friends and influence people", I'm not sure what difference it'd make. You're gaslighting people eitherway.
Nah, see-- it'd actually work towards that end.
For those looking for the whole text, it’s called the Simple Sabotage Field Manual
Pretty certain there's updated versions
Also the OSS was extremely American, but used French and french speaking operatives and shortened the war by years.
didn't realize my work place was under sabotage by the CIA
Also, I swear 90% of the comments here missed the point that these are supposed to be subtle, malice being disguised as incompetence
Yeah, the goal is to act dumb so nobody thinks you're sabotaging them.
@genericname2747 Yes then no one will kno you are actually dumb
i can only imagine how much fun the writers had, being paid to come up with the most annoying shit they can think of
3:54 Some people are so genetically predisposed to middle management, they don't even have to read this manual
This is the most Half as Interesting video you have created thus far, thank you.
I would go so far as to say at least Three Quarters as Iinteresting.
"Finally, A Guide to be annoying"
- Many People
The rest of us americans had to learn this stuff through experience.
*Nobody wants to be annoying or enjoys or dedicates their life to being annoying. That shit is stupid.*
This book is amazing in that a lot of what it suggests would have gotten you shot or arrested for inconveniencing the wrong person.
Having read the thing, you had to apply some degree of common sense and knowledge of your 'audience.' Of course, doing some of those things to, say, Rommel, or Paulus would not be such a good idea, but others would be perfectly justifiable and plausible even to top ranking officials. Screwing with a random collaborationist or some minor official or occupier national would probably maximum net you a slap on the wrist and a 'don't do this again.'
I mean yea, don't get caught with the fire stuff. But most of the book is genuinely stuff that isn't uncommon for normal people to do. Nazis were brutal, but even they needed normal people to make society work. Can't kill everyone that's bad at their job.
If you aren't considered an "inferior race" to the Nazi regime you could get away with pretty much everything besides arson.
Yes, I was indeed thinking you've described my job at 4:15 in the video. Turns out that even the CIA would describe it as being annoying enough to cause a societal disruption
That miximum thing was absolutely genius though
We Europeans are so sociable that we needed the Americans to write a manual on how to be annoying for us. /s
You're welcome :P
Or maybe don't let yourselves be invaded again.
We all know you asked the French but they refused to talk to you
Well, ye are all welcome, and we will gladly update it for you when World War III starts.
Lol, when I was in Europe, all it took to annoy you people was to speak English.
This quickly evolved into a guide on how to commit insurance fraud.
how much do you wanna bet they actually made this report because of an intern they thought was being really annoying
When Putin read that CIA manual, he commented: "Товарищи, подержите мое пиво."
4:53 Ah yes, "Woman drowning in fries", my favorite stock footage
Fun fact: it also has a guide on how to tip in every country.
I tipped once, and it offended someone from France because they don't tip.. apparently.
@@scintillam_dei The French in general are pretty hostile to outside influences on their culture. The French government back in the 80's even invested in France-based video game companies just so head off America and Japan exerting too much influence over youth entertainment.
That makes sense because that varies wildly. In civilized countries waiters get paid at least minimum wage so it isn't expected that you tip like in America, and in some countries it's even insulting to tip at all. And we can recognize American tourists from the way they tip, which may not be very helpful for doing spy stuff.
After covid definitely more than minimum here.
@@scintillam_dei it’s seen as looking down on someone or treating them as “peasants” implying they need your spare change to make a living, which kinda makes the fact that tipping is considered essential in the us even worse
"Cry and sob hysterically at every possible opportunity"
I knew every woman that has ever been in a horror movie was a CIA asset hellbent on ruining the movie for everyone else.
To be fair, a building made completely of bricks is hard to burn down.
Ahh, so this is the reason that airliners double book the seats on every flight...
I have been on a plane at least 10 times on 3 airlines in the poorest section. I have never had this issue.
How to make a better society: Just take that book and do the exact opposite of everything it says.
I'm pretty sure a few workplaces would be improved from settings the place on fire
What is the exact opposite of bringing moths to a cinema tho?
The true question to cure the human condition.
The entire "management" section of this is just a mediocre "guide to be a better boss", but with a NOT added in every paragraph :D
@@Karl_der_Genosse taking months out of a Cinema.
Moths autocorrected to months lol.
3:20 That's actually truly evil.
the OSS was fucking nuts (like even more so than the CIA), highly recommend any history of their WW2 schemes
I was hoping things like - slow walking / walking in groups of slow walkers, driving slow on the passing lane, blocking the whole aisle with shopping cart, coughing right onto someone's face etc would be somethings which would have been recommended by OSS.
Try to come up with the weirdest combination of items when shopping. Match speed with a driver in lane next to you and keep on driving like that for miles. Talk as loudly as possible about any embarrassing or awkward topic you can think of in public, or loudly swear mid-sentence every few sentences.
Catching a few dozen moths??? That does sound absurdly annoying. although, I have had a cat break and LCD screen because she absolutely had to attack the moth fluttering up against it. and that was when LCD's were still pretty expensive. Defiantly annoying.
On moths and other such flutterers, My Dad knew a guy once. Big, hairy, heavily tatted bloke, "looked like he should be breaking kneecaps or selling meth". that's a quote. you know what he did for a living? he farmed butterflies. why? to release at weddings and christenings and the like. was trying to get a permit to import some particularly pretty exotic species. apparently had 3 rooms in his house all set up, different zones at different temperatures and humidity's etc for different species and stages in life. takes all sorts to make the world go round I guess. butterfly farming, its a thing.
"Defiantly annoying"
Your misuse of the word "defiantly" is also annoying.
@@nathangamble125 He defiantly created the miximum amount of annoyance with that comment.
Are you sure it wasn’t Hagrid?
Aw I'm disappointed that you didn't put a PDF of the book in the video description. This sounds like a really fun read. Also to see how many things happen at random.
you mean the CIA document, right? it is called "Simple sabotage field manual"
Compiling this manual must have been a really fun job :)
I really appreciate the fact that when you smashed the thing and said it was broken into 11 sections it was actually 11 pieces
1:51 The book broke up into 11 actual pieces in the animation lol. Hope the animator gets credit for that
3:30 is how you get yourself investigated and possibly shot by the secret police
i loved this video!
I was laughing so loud, thank you Half as Interesting definitly not wendover productions.
Absolutely Brilliant!
I desperately want a copy of this manual.
Its declassified and thus easily available for download from the government.
You can find it online as a PDF, I have a copy of it on my computer
That transportation section is actually taken from the NJ Transit operations manual. Please fix this mistake.
HAI (as always) providing the absolute miximum of entertainment!
Your best vid so far, and I watched them all.
"There's no one better at making cars that don't work than us." Ouch. It's true. We can't even remember to put the gas tank on the driver's side, like every other car manufacturer on earth.
How else are Murkans gonna get their exercise?
I didn’t realize the CIA was spying on me
Self-burn
They’re not.
They have the NSA for that.
@@beatfromjetsetradio8239 Nope, not even the NSA. It's your phone that does the spying. Think about hard hard it was 40 years ago for an organization to have eyes and ears on you 24 hours a day. Now they just use your phone. Easy.
They aren't. They're just annoying you.
In my experience most women use the cry hysterically technique and most men use the act stupid technique 🤦🏼♀️
As for section eleven, that sounds exactly how my local council behaves 🤦🏼♀️
I've read that manual before. It's funny as hell when you compare some of the methods described within and current management techniques.
I myself find it amusing how it lists dozens of different ways to start fires
You've overserved me. This is four fifths as interesting to me. Great job 😂 you can now slack off, since you have three 10ths of interest in your favor
Yes, math.
@@dannypipewrench533 and math.
@@tonechild5929 Indeed, and also math.
My middle school students definitely have read this book!
Two to three dozen large moths.
Office work:
- I literally left my work place for these very reasons.
"we have to go back to how things were !" --> 2 weeks later, after we backtracked to "how things were": "we have to go back to how things were!"
*** facepalm ***
I like that prank they pulled where they made the president’s head disappear. Master level trolls.
This was actually a great video. Highly enjoyable!
I agree wholeheartedly. This is a great nugget for party trivia!
It was miximally enjoyable!
Dang I must've met a bunch of CIA agents before
This channel got sum dam good meme edits yo!
Always watch your stuff before bed, puts me right to sleep