Women don't want equal relationships
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- čas přidán 31. 05. 2024
- Clinical Psychologist Orion Taraban @psychacks on what men misunderstand about what an "equal" relationship means.
Make sure to check out the full interview on my other channel: @JosephEverettWIL
NAVIGATION
00:00 - What makes a man attractive?
2:50 - Why an "equal" relationship is a discount
4:57 - Why do you need to talk to women about quantum mechanics?
6:24 - Women's pride and men's cowardice
7:41 - Women don't actually want 50/50, so what do they mean?
14:05 - Women want to look up to a man
16:52 - Are men and women less attracted to each other?
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SUBSTACK: josepheverettwil.substack.com/
Full Interview with Orion here: czcams.com/video/I44d6SQ3hK0/video.html
I feel super sorry about you.....
I'm all for the topic, but this guy is off the mark with his broad generalizations. Litteraly everyone I know matched through personality and none of these power dynamics crap. The only ttue thing is nobody wants a simp pushover, wether it be a patner or a friend, thats pretty obvious...
Interview Leonard Sax
@@TokyoRights then why are women more likely to date men who have higher educational attainment or income then them?
@@billusher2265 Because your "personality" to *others* is the sum of all your traits to *others* and your personality to *yourself* is never actually seen by others and is irrelevant to relationship selection. If you are attractive, then you've matched on "personality", but only the "personality" others can see - not your internal interpretation of yourself.
"Personality" is just an aggregate for what is known about you - and that can be a very different knowledge for others looking toward you than for you looking inward.
According to data scientists women want billionaire werewolf pirates who are also doctors
And men want librarians who are also strippers.
They actuallt want the billionaire werewolves to fight the pirate doctors over them.
You forgot the vampires
@@nightingale1540 Ah yes, I knew I forgot something!
Never skip lycanthrope day
He basically said, "Don't be a simp."
that sums it up pretty much 😂 no mindblowing revelations there...
depends on how you define “simp”
My husband and I are each others’ biggest simps 😘
@@schuylergeery-zink1923 If you're both getting pretty equal benefits out of it then it's not simping where it would be one party giving a lot for little or no return.
Bro actually uploaded
Yea give us more please 😅
And more than a link to stack exchange!
The truth is that most people don't know what they want.
They go for whatever their social groups say is attractive or what is socially acceptable.
The term "what the hell do you see in him," begs to differ.
no I one hundred percent want a big titty goth mommy who isn't fat. Nobody told me to want this, but I yearn for it from the depths of my soul.
True. Most people live life in general according to what society wants. Then they wonder why they're never happy or satisfied. They were too much of a pussy to do what THEY wanted.
@@TJ-ml8tt I wonder if you're being ironic intentionally or if you're really lacking that much self awareness. Lol
Mostly women
what a spicy title
🌶
*accurate title
It's called hypergamy.
Bro got dumped for being to nice
@@ghostgate82*biased title
A partner should make one's life better/easier. It should benefit both sides. That's the main goal of a partnership, any gender.
Yeah I really like that
The main goal of a "partnership" between a man and a woman is the creation of a family.
Some people don't view marriage as a partnership.
@@masterost1994 so people over 50 should always be single and divorce then?
Very true.
Be careful taking relationship advice from people who don’t have successful long term relationships
Exactly
What do people in long standing relationships advise?
@@AgelessPhoton "just be yourself bro" because they never really thought about what they were doing and coincidentally used winning strategies
@@AgelessPhoton look up gottman and you'll know.
@@AgelessPhotonAuthenticity is essential for genuine human connection, and genuine connection is what it's all about. There is no bigger meaning, so simply be genuine.
Trickery and deception won't get you closer to true love and purpose.
Furthermore, think twice before you take claims by people using terms such as "the sexual marketplace" seriously.
I'm a psychiatrist, and I see many unhappy couples in my clinic. I'll go ahead and say that men and women (BOTH) want equal relationships, but only in terms of what value their partners can add to their lives. That's why they get together more easily in college: Both are young, poor, and naive and staying together at that time adds much value to their lives.
However, we all develop taste in people as we age, and some of the most unhappy couples I know are just a mismatch in taste. They liked the taste of each other in college but hated each other after moving in together. It becomes much more challenging to justify being together as we age because we add relatively less value to the relationship than when we were young.
All this talk about 'high value' men and women is applicable on a population level, but it doesn't matter on an individual level. Ultimately, it usually just boils down to personal tastes and preferences. Some women like men who aren't emotionally expressive, and likewise, some men like women who are emotionally reactive. It depends on what they feel they are most familiar with.
What you said about unhappy couples and developing different taste in people as we get older is very insightful, however I think your conclusion on personal taste strays off the mark. In general, if I am a man who wants to attract as much women as possible, or any for that matter (lol) I should optimize these so called "high values" simply because it's a numbers game to increase the poll of women to choose from. I will have more access to women if my income is higher or if I'm taller or if I'm successful, that doesn't mean that every woman that finds these qualities attractive will connect with me on an emotional level but at least they'd give me the time of day to actually explore the possibility.
Interesting that all the unhappy couples in your clinic want equal relationships. The happiest and most functional couples I've seen don't think about equality or inequality. The happy relationships tend to be traditional, so maybe that's why.
Living together is a difficult format anyway.
@@danny3640 you sounds exactly like some teenager boy. Funny.
@@offensivearch the "traditional" couples pretend to be happy bc the pretending and constant theatre is a part of tradition.
Channel is in the process of being red pilled lol
Always has been.
that’s exactly what i thought lol
Literally always has been. Or in other words, just the cold hard truth..
@@astreakaito5625 Truth for 14 year old boys and single, bitter 40 year old men.
@@UnKnownv5 You gonna go cry to your mommy about it?
Bro woke up and said I want all the smoke 🗿
In conclusion: don’t select for quantum mechanic women
I’ve always wanted a woman who can calibrate my particle accelerator for me
Also its hard to find anyone interested in quantum mechanic enough to have a conversation about it. I have only ever found one person who wanted to talk about it in depth and he was more the conspiracy theorists side than the maths side of the discussion. My boyfriend will at least try & listen to my nerd rants even if he ends up zoning out. 😂
Neutrinos always gets the chicks! "shakes fist in the air"
What is a quantum mechanic woman?
if you don't want a masculine woman who can read a map, is financially savvy, enjoy alone time (so you can have it too) and loves sex, well do not complain about not getting it :p
The ironic part of this video is by trying to not give women what you think they want, you are still focusing on what they want. What about you? What do you want? Do you just want a woman by being you or by not being you? Is being with a woman worth sacrificing your authenticity for? Is she being authentic too?
Valid questions to look out for
Yeah, I mean, it's just entertainment. CZcams community is recently capitalizing on the mating "crisis", most men are not getting laid, so it's fun to watch these kinds of videos and pontificate about it. The truth though is that each individual will need to find their own way.
@@MrMadalien Mental illness seems to go completely under the radar when discussing this red pill non-sense. Some of the ideas are kind of an immature and skewed interpretation of what reality is. It bends the truth and leaves little room for nuance. It's at best; a steeping stone towards personal growth, with many hurdles yet to overcome. Eventually, hopefully, most will achieve a relatively much more mature perspective with enough contemplation and introspection. Unfortunately, most get stuck at this and accept these statements as reality for comfort. The unconscious undertones of the red pill message holds bitterness, resentment, entitlement and a lack of empathy for oneself and others that are exposed to it.
Sorry, bro, but your authenticity has no value if it upsets people around..."authentic" people tend to be more selfish, less flexible and less agreeable, so it tends to be a pain in the @ss to deal with them.
@@drjp4212 in that case those people deserve to be hated or find someone as selfish as them. I fail to see the loss here
I’m just here for the comments
Same 😂
I support you!
Let them wash over you. Exhilarating.
Can’t negotiate attraction
This. And people are not attracted to others for "rational" reasons
I think the negotiations in attraction are implicit not explicit. Most of the time even unconscious. It is not rational. It simply happens without you even knowing and if you dont believe in it, it doesnt make any difference.
@@deadmau5remizzer346 Then what do you call political marriages, or alliances between people who seek that relationship for power and other reasons unrelated to love
@etomike_56 Are you, personally, a politician, celebrity, or otherwise a powerful figure? Then you need to look towards advice that applies to you
@@etomike_56 You can negotiate marriage but not attraction.
It is okay to say that men and women are equal but then do a 180 and get to stuff like "men should not look down to the level of women it's women that should look up to men. Sorry what? Why do supposedly intelligent people reduce relationships to a sparing match for the lead role? How about being a team? How about not making everything about your ego? Modern hyperindividualism has gone a bit too far...
Adapt or get left behind
Every team has its star player.
that's too difficult for the white cis hetero person to realize.
Something interesting about the West is that we make it seem like everything is our decision. But thats not entirely accurate. Plenty of relationships form out of coincidence, convenience, or experiencing intense life events together, which forms long-term bonds. We like to act like men and women go to some marketplace, pick their ideal looking mate, and then go date them. That isnt at all how it works in the real world. Most relationships are things of convenience and have little to do with either person picking the other out of a selection of options
Only if you live in a small town. Or are ugly. If you live in a big city chances are - you get male attention everywhere all the time. Add to the mix that dating apps exist and women have almost endless options.
I really like this answer. I really really like this answer. It makes so much sense.
Yep, true. although we're led to believe in this so called marketplace thanks to social media and dating apps. Everything that can be conceptualized, will be commodified. Nuance and 'going outside/touching grass" is the solution.
I feel like the change in relationship when the women bears children and how that affects the responsibilities in the relationship should have been covered more to create a realistic and balanced view of WHY women want this.
Totally agree. As a man who just became a dad a few months ago I was thinking exactly this: "all that sounds logical... until you have kids."
I guess it's what happens when you invite one man to talk about what "all women want". As if there aren't enough female clinical psychologists out there to add to the conversation and make a richer debate.
@@RoseNocturnae Letting a woman talk about relationships? Uhhh did you forget we're mostly dumb object to conqueer and use? Totally agree with the comments, sad
@@marketingpower A notable majority of marriage councilors are women. Society actively pushes women in academics and they overwhelmingly preform better, and it’s men whom are easier to use and sacrifice. Now conquer? Sorta, for their dollars and votes. The men are conquered physically, but businesses and politicians have a tighter grip on women mentality(which is why we ram psych meds down their throats).
Lmao they used Leonardo DiCaprio around the part of older men wanting younger women. The guy has become 'that guy'.
Any sound woman would NEVER want to get close to that kind of predator
@@BaiMengLing Your first mistake is thinking women are sound. Mood swings are common mood-related symptoms to a women's menstrual cycle. As a man who's experienced plenty woman even the nicest and smartest do questionable things or disappear suddenly then come back or don't. Clearly decisions driven by emotion.
@@BaiMengLing not that he'd ever want you in the first place
@@PainAmvs_ Or they're simply not interested in you, hence why they "dissappear" on you. Better luck next time!
@@BaiMengLing'Predator' 😂 Why'd you have to be so lame?
This is a personal philosophy and maybe informs about romantic culture in north america but I wouldn't call it a science of attraction. As someone who has been in psychology much of it is personal navel gazing, or if it's a large enough and well done enough study, then it's too nebulous to mean anything groundbreaking. If I'm going to be mean, I think you just interviewed a dude about his dating life.
Since I've learned that "attraction isn't a choice" my life has changed significantly.
Don't blame a woman for her loss of interest if you don't trigger those emotional mechanisms.
Another way of being equal is to have compatible desires. A man that wants to be in the driver’s seat and a woman that wants to be in the passenger’s seat are equal. The leading role and the supportive role. They each have their own role and they put in the same amount of effort. They are a team.
Great point!
Cause it takes ALOT of effort to sit in the passenger seat....
Just becuase both sides are getting what they want doesnt make it inherently equal
@@RockStock6 It's not a perfect analogy. Don't pretend that a woman's role takes no effort.
In my opinion, the issue here is that the assumption is that the man's role is easy (he's basically the king! He can do whatever he wants!) and the woman's is difficult (she's basically a peasant, a slave, working the land for the fat lord!).
This breeds the kind of animosity and bitterness that makes men say things like, "'Cause it takes a LOT of effort to sit in the passenger seat."
In reality, being the leader is no walk in the park, and supporting that leader-even, at times, against your own pride and immediate self-interest-is also difficult.
But you both do it anyway because that's the only way any of this works.
Get out of the car. I want navigator. No passenger required unless you are paying for the services. This isn’t uber until you pay.
Well said, Melanie!! ❤
I can safely say that most people (in terms of relationships) have no clue what they actually want, and if they are unhappy, it's largely due to their own expectations without communication or a self-inflicted misery over something about themselves.
An to double down: if something isn't right they can't or won't address it with their partner. They may even search for help anywhere but within the relationship.
Speak for yourself...
I can safely say that me and all my male friends know exactly what they want in their relationship and what goals they have in life and how that relationship can help with that. Now, for my female friends and coworkers ....
Lose weight
You're speaking about women.
Men know what they want lol
5:13 I didn't expect to hear "quantum mechanics" and "esoteric spirituality" in the same sentence.
I have multiple examples from my personal life of women contributing more than 50% including myself. More women are getting degrees now and are quite content to be the bread winner. I feel like none of this is actually based on real data. Please just talk to the women in you life, we are not a different species
Tell me you only read the title of video and didn't watch it, without telling me.
@@Chihirolee3 well I watched half which was as much as I could manage and was directly commenting on his claims about how men are expected to contribute 50-100% and women only 0-50% max.
Women ☕️☕️
@@Littlebeth5657 Yeah, watch a little more of it and it clarifies that the 50% isn't just referring to financial. Get the whole context.
Listen to the mean in the video, we aren't a different species lol.
A generation of young men have fundamentally been lied into thinking that A. Women are some sort of different species, and B. That species must be treated with kid gloves and fretted about interactions with in case you cause offence. This shouldn’t be read as being that women don’t deserve respect - just that you’re better off working yourself out and quite rightly focusing on A. What you want in a woman, and B. Being confident in what you bring to the table.
I can see a 50/50 relationship in couples who do not want children but if they do want children most of the burden is on the woman’s shoulders she is the one who sacrifices her career to get pregnant and care for the infant. Statistics also showed that woman are paid nearly as much as men before having children but then there is a sudden drop in income as they have their first child and they almost never can recover from that and the gap widens as they grow older compared to men. In this situation There is not any achievable equality and it’s fine.
Men want to take care of women by taking care of all the financial burden when it comes to family and children. And women fight men over it and in the end, they are miserable in the workforce. And for what? Just to say women are oppressed? I have never seen women fight for equal representation in sewerage occupations. It's all about women wanting to get into management positions without the hard work. Most combat roles are occupied by men, most brain surgeons are men, most deep ocean divers are men, most fishermen are men, most offshore oil rigs are manned by men. You get one in a hundred thousand who is a female. All the most grueling or dangerous jobs are overwhelmingly taken up by men. Talk about sacrifice. I am pretty sure all the men who died in World War 2 would rather be a stay at home dad and get a pay cut than fight Hitler. But no, men had to defend their homes, their wives and their children. And all women do now is to cry inequality when all they really want is attention.
It's sad that being free to look after your children is looked at as a "sacrifice" these days. (not attacking you or your thoughts. Just pointing out that it doesn't need to be looked at like a sacrifice, yet we do in the West. Just weird how we, as a society, look at it that way.
It’s a sacrifice because she is impacted negatively… Change the economy to help childcare to not be a sacrifice and it suddenly won’t be.
@@jessemiller3108 there's nothing weird about it, you can't have kids and a high powered careeer if you actually care about the kids. giving up on higher career aspirations to make sure your children get the attention and love that they need is LITERALLY a sacrifice. you sacrifice your career aspirations for your children. there's also an additional sacrifice to personal health since pregnancy can come with complications.
@@raskolnikov8644 kids doesnt need attention if the kid has finiancially successful family.
Watching this would make you think money and business power are the the only ways to have value as a person. Was hoping for a science based video
Because he’s onto something
@@Somethingiswrong2035some of the stuff is logical and some of it is decent, but the majority of this is the same whinging that every relationship door knob on the internet regurgitates
In 30 seconds I've learned that you use terms like "sexual marketplace" and "female psychology". Now I'm surprised you didn't said "FEMOID psychology"
It's so important to focus on your needs being met and finding those that are compatible. The guys that start off out of desperation, trying to change themselves to do anything for the women he's pursuing, it often feels fake and can cause issues when someone's needs aren't being met at the end of the day
if you go out looking for relationship with a mindset borrowed from other peoples experience and choose to not be your authentic self you're setting yourself up for failure already.
the car analogy/movie poster bit is wild bc, yea of course don't centre ur life around your partner and don't try and make yourself appealing for someone to else , but that goes both ways? a man should drive his own life of course but why shouldn't a woman too? you're both living your life side by side, why should one party overtake the life of the other, or why should one have to fit into the other's life forgetting or giving up their own?
exactly. the blatant assumption that the opposite of that statement is true; as in women should be a complimentary accessory to the man's life and curate their own lives to fit his is just wild.
right bc like, in the analogy the 'car' represents ur life right? it can't represent the relationship, because the guy can't build that on his own and have someone hop in and out. so surely a woman would drive her own car too...
The video assumes that men have leading roles in relationships. The assumption is that there's no equality in a relationship, men are leaders and women are supporters, they are equal legally, but they are not equal in a relationship, where they have different roles. It's not about curating your own life, it's about identifying a specific role in a relationship - there's a driver, and there's a co-pilot.
@@Neverwas relationships are when 2 people come together. if one person takes complete control, that's not a relationship, that's just absorbing the other into your life. if one person is the one to decide everything, that's a dictatorship. (idk if u were defending the video's point or explaining it without agreeing.)
the video starts off saying equality doesn't mean 'sameness', explaining you shouldn't try to be the same in order to be equal. and then it completely forgets the initial premise and says 'since you shouldn't try and be the same, you won't be equal'. what happened to equal ≠ same??
partners will complement each other, and find their roles in a relationship, but they can be equal nonetheless. the roles can be fluid, depending on the situation one or the other can assume more responsibility, and i don't see why it should be tied to gender roles.
@@joy7367 I completely agree with you. I find the video interesting assuming a generalization of “standard” roles, but when it comes to reality, there are no standard roles anymore, and so today equality is all about finding a fit in those fluid roles. It’s very hard to be honest, it’s easier to play a role that stems from culture and society rather than building 2 entirely different roles from scratch. It’s a long process that takes years, and in a fast paced environment dominated by dating apps and “I can’t waste time on this, there are more urgent matters atm” situations…hell, being together is hella hard. Fighting biases should be at the core of any relationship, yet both men and women have a really hard time letting them go, especially when those biases are bound to emotional feelings. We have to learn to value and love different things, and we have to understand that relationships are built together, it’s not a game of expectations (eg “since I’m an independent woman, I expect you to treat me like this/since I’m the man of the house, I expect you to behave like that”
on the topic of communication, i feel like it's just another "skill" that is important to learn. you're going to fumble around a lot with it, especially when you are nervous around someone new, but it is something you can improve with practice.
funny enough, i've been going to therapy for a few years now for a few personal reasons, and it has very much helped me become a better conversationalist just by talking things through with the therapist. i'm sure other methods of conversation with other people that aren't therapists can help but it has been nice to kinda talk through various aspects of my life and the world around me with someone just so i can get more comfortable speaking as a whole.
His statement about the one paying gets more say doesn't resonate with my family or the traditional way a lot of families were organised. My dad always earned more (apart from maybe a few years when my parents earned the same), but my mum was always in charge of the finances. It was also traditional in the past for men to pass over their pay to their wives who would manage the money and then get some pocket money to go down the pub 😂
yeah true. I don't like the idea that just because one person has a higher status job or has built their life more than the other, that the more powerful person therefore gets to be more in charge. Each relationship is it's own thing, but it would make me uncomfortable to be with someone who took control of where we drive to because they own a nicer car for road trips... like come on. That being said I am in a pretty much 40/60 relationship where I have a little less power in descision making like trips.
@glens18account He is also missing the point of a partnership. The idea is you are supposed to build a life together. His statements are very individualistic and not looking at the whole picture. Okay, the man earns more money in X relationship. Who is bearing abd breastfeeding the children? Who does most of the childcare? Who does more housework or puts more time into planning? Normally, it is whoever is spending less time working and earning less. It's a division of labour that provides mutual support. The less economically active member enables the breadwinner to do what they do and makes their life better. It's about supporting and uplifting each other, not dominance and "I earning more so I have the final say!"...
@@anonperson3972 couldn't agree more. Ive been with my girl for 11 years, its not about getting even, its about working together, laughing together, not accounting. The only place I would say you might want to account for is finances where yeah, I am not giving my GF $100 and not expecting it back at some point. But each to their own, many people share bank accounts. At the end of the day you cannot put a price on the fact someone is willing to spend their life with you, that is priceless beyond anything else.
Yeah but this red pill guys want all the power and no responsibility torwards anyone. Plus their egos couldn't handle it.
Yup my parents did this too tho my mom worked after my sister was old enough to go to school. She’s in charge of the finances and taught me financial literacy. My husband currently makes more tho at times I’ve made more it doesn’t matter - it’s all pooled together and I am the nerd and manage our budget, track expenses. Everything is transparent between partners and we work together in our financial goals.
They got the right to work for equal pay but found out they still had to do all the jobs at home
would never have expected this channel to go in this direction
Bro waited 5 months to release a video just to risk getting canceled 😂😂
Lmao
Canceled by who?
I mean, "cancelling" is dumb unless people are criminals or something.
But damn this video is hot garbage.
He's too big to fall now...😅
Rofl, glorious
Oh I thought 50/50 was a relationship with equal effort, not necessarily wealth or status.
Effort is by extension also, but no one would date someone who is leagues below them.
Wealth and status primarily come from effort
@@geesehoward7261 Statistically primarily from where and how you were born
@@vrnvorona take your excuses to the dating market and see what it buys you. If you're happy, more power to you.
Luck, Privilege and Nepotism are a part of that to
just two dudes talking about women, I'm sure this is going to be very informative and insightful
All my subscribed channels are converging.
I know right! It's weird.
Well truth brings people together
@@GEO_________________________24 the human desire for comfort, in the face of fear and uncertainty, leads us to seek outlets that can soothe our anxieties...cult leaders meet this need by making promises that are virtually unattainable - and not typically found anywhere else in society. This, according to Pedersen, could include complete financial security, constant peace of mind, and perfect health
People like to turn this into some kind of odd science. Women want a man they can build a life with that makes them feel safe and valued with genetic traits they find desirable. Men want a breeding partner to carry on their bloodline that feels worth investing in with desirable genetic and behavioral traits. The economic environment has changed substantially so that women no longer need be primarily focused on a male's ability to acquire resources as they have the capacity to acquire skills that allow them to have a sufficient resource pool to pursue other traits when choosing breeding partners. This reconfiguration is fairly recent and is taking time to sort itself out. Women are cognizant that men and women are not the same, but they also want to have the power how they will participate in this new resource paradigm. The biggest problems occur when men and women are taught to pursue relationships using the old resource paradigm and expectations, when a new paradigm has been created due to economic and technological advancement. So this must be sorted through until men and women create a new cultural standard for relationships that becomes more standardized with new mating rituals. In general, women have the power in this relationship by virtue of their ability to create people. If a woman can create her own resource base to work from, she can easily acquire the necessary materials to create new humans. This places her in a power position and always has because the human male has always had to work for the female for breeding to sustain the existence of the human race. You see this even in the animal kingdom where males work harder to obtain a breeding partner. This situation is often based on the ability of the male to accumulate resources and make themselves an attractive breeding partner for the female. There's just no getting around it as it's very difficult to force women into breeding situations for the long-term. They have to choose to do it, even if they choose badly. That magic power is always going to make the female very valuable in the sexual marketplace allowing them a great deal of control over their situation as the male option is simply to die off if they can't find a female breeding partner. As Orion stated, they are not often looking for equality. Why would they when they have almost all the power? And they don't even want the power men value like knowledge of quantum mechanics or what not. They want control of male purse and capacity to supply them with the necessary nest and resources to make breeding feel worthwhile and them to feel safe and valued. This is how men should think of females if they want a breeding partner. You are engaged in a negotiation and the mating rituals are the means by which you negotiate and show each other you are a valued partner with something to exchange. Don't watch too many romance movies or you'll get an insanely skewed view of your reality. Also don't be too clinical about it either or you'll be a big turnoff. Create the illusion of love, make sure you have at least friendship and loyalty, then create the family you want if you want one. If you don't, well, then don't worry about it...there are 8 billion people. No one cares if you breed or not anymore.
I really want to copy this but I can't bcs accessing this from phone
Thank you for describing my thoughts so accurately :)
there is nothing sexier than a smart person (and this is not about quantum physics at all, but about an adequate understanding of how the world works)
Jesus Christ of Nazareth...
[insert meme of Morpheus holding red and blue pill here]
both of them are trash the only truth is black
Yes
He's Back !
my long lost brother cx !
@@cx777o :)
@@cx777o Ah.. an ancient model
There is a lot one could say about how disappointing this video is. However considering the channel, the lack of data and studies presented or cited is the biggest offender here.
WIL is a channel that relies on the track record of data. This video doesn't seem to be interested in that.
Instead we get vague generalizations that ultimately fall flat and add more confusion and false biases to the whole subject matter.
I understand this is an interview, however it makes me sad to see the WIL mike being handed over to someone so casually. Imo this only hurts the channel's credibility.
Agreed
I mean, after WIL interviewed Jordan Peterson, I'm not surprised at all.
If psychology based itself merely on data it wouldnt exist
Okay feel free to use data in your comment instead of posting a crybaby comment about your sadness.
Agree, pretty weird. There are plenty of studies around love, relationships, marriage and with varying outcomes across cultures. So much to dive into.
great one! thank you!
A spicier topic would be Marriage/divorce in the US.
do you americans are allowed to talk at all these days?
@@GreatRetro It's the land of the free as long as you're okay with us brainwashing you.
Marriage and divorce in all christian/secular countries.
Same issue.
When men try to run a multiple regression analysis on seduction...
I think all the strategies found work really well. While what women and mainstream media tells just don't work now
Oh Rikki Tikki...🦦🐍
Are you saying scientific thinking isn't effective? lol
Putting leo dicaprio when talking about older men wanting younger women ahahah😂
Women, do want to look up to men...
But only if their 6ft and above.
This was an interesting watch. Wouldn’t say I agree with it all, but hearing it from a man’s perspective does have me reflecting on how I see relationship.
Personally, I don’t want to look up to a man. Or at least, I’d want said man to equally look up at me in the same way if that were the case.
But the quote that feels most right to me isn’t either sex looking up at the other but Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s quote, “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
To me, it’s not about one person being similar or greater or less, but if you have the same goals and want to go in the same direction that’s were communication, growth, adoration, and fortitude lies.
Agreed. I was thinking the same, and that quote ties it together well.
Ok, now tell me, is your man taller than you? Does he make more money than you? Does he have more education than you?
It's possible for both to look up to each other, if they're excelling in different things.
Hypergamy doesn't agree with you.
This guy actually says what the woman wants doesnt matter at all, so you know, get in line lady 🙄
Last thing I wasn’t is a high powered, opinionated, less feminine woman as a partner.
my girl loves quantum mechanics lmao
I am starting to get a bit of an interest in it myself. But it doesn't matter because the average person isn't into quantum mechanics, woman or man.
I bet he gets the women 😂😂😂😂 So glad he knows what women want
It how much of our cultural expectations are programmed by the media via repetition?
It wasn’t long ago that piousness was a preferential trait, not so much today.
That is because religiousness has declined. The decline in religiousness is more complex than just a change in cultural programming.
In the 80s I thought that I was very unique to declare myself an atheist. I didn’t realize that I was just part of an entire cultural shift away from religiosity. It didn’t appear that way to me in my suburban home town, because the last gasps of evangelical Christianity were so vocal and so in your face. I didn’t realize at the time that evangelical Christianity was behaving just like every single other dominant force when there’s a paradigm shift away - panicking at the end and being overzealous, which results in pushing even more people away.
The media messaging didn’t change. There were tons of church shows on TV at that time. The entire culture shifted away from religion in reaction. If anything, the satanic panic and evangelicalism pushed people away more.
Take your bullsh1t religious meandering back to whatever church indoctrinates you. Religion worked out disastrously for me
Thats becausen religious programming is going away. They can't control humans with religion anymore
"If you earn 60k and your wife makes 30k, you dont make 90k, you make 60k"
it's closer to 30k on your part
Tiny things here make sense but then you summed them up into a really broad statement. Broad statements are generally worthless.
Great video, thank you sir.
Great Points!
Questionable advice from this guy.
It's a transactional relationship for him, not a fulfilling one.
Interesting point of view, but questionable.
Lol I feel like if you want to know what women find attractive you shouldn’t be watching a CZcams video with 2 dudes just talking with to evidence of their arguments
Great interview!
I’ve been watching your CZcams videos on Health and Nutrition for years now. I’ve also been watching PsychHacks videos for at least the past 6 months. And now seeing a crossover interview I’m like 🤩🤩.
What she wants doesn't matter... don't even look at her fellas... stay on track and in your lane. Sounds like you should just not be in a relationship at all. What both people want does matter, and figuring out how to navigate these needs and desires (and the turbulence of life) together is the kind of equitable relationship mature adults are looking for. This is pretty patronizing and disappointing for you.
In another news, it rains sometimes
2:50 50/50 relationships 7:55
10:00 What women want is irrelevant
14:40 Men and women are equal
16:55 Intersex understanding
In general I agree with this but imo, if someone follows these archetypes nearly to a T, they aren't interesting enough to be with.
If you find people who aren't a copy paste, these generalities are thrown out the window and it's all useless information. Approach people with an open mind and no expectations, learning about them is the best part.
i'm glad someone else said it. i don't generally engage with that type of content and only watched this to be able to have my own opinion on the direction this channel is taking, i subscribed ages ago bc i found his video about language learning interesting. and man these discussions frustrate me so much bc.. why are we treating meeting people as this impersonal game? people would have an easier (and way less miserable!) time getting to know others and forming relationships with them if they were approaching them with curiosity about getting to know someone new, rather than trying to extract a gameplan of how to be who you think who you think you want wants.
@@joy7367 EXACTLY I totally agree
Since I saw this in my recommendations feed I just thought "oh no". And yeah, the content was just as crappy as the clickbait title and thumbnail.
Pretty disappointing, considering his previous works had actual experts and tons papers, and this is just yet another "alpha-male red-pilled sigma chad podcast": two random dudes presenting cliché "counter-trend" opinions (which ironically always end up being trendy and copied ad nauseam by other influencers) as scientific or professionally assessed "truth".
Isn't it possible that people have relationships... I don't know, for love and companionship? *gasp*
Hypergamy does not depend on a woman's perdonality.
what is bro yapping about
Two dudes talking about what women want but seem to miss the mark by a mile and the conversation is hilariously pretty awful. Agreed with a few things but mostly kind of cringe. Lots of discussion, no talk of data and studies, just opinions passed off as fact with anecdotal experience. Careful not to let your limited experiences paint a broad picture. Disappointed in the content here
This video was interesting and I agree with many of the take aways (by the way, as a guy, I want a girl with an hour glass figure and millions of dollars regardless of if I do).
But your content seems to be more and more actively courting a further right crowd, and makes me trust you less and less because it creates the appearance marketability is more important than honesty.
All im saying is if you want me to trust you, everything you say can't be what I want to hear, because if it is im perfect and have no reason to care about what you say
As a woman this video is honestly just self obsessed nonsense. It reduces women *and men* to stereotypical gender roles and equates that to a reality that can be studied and analyzed on an individual level. Like how they just dismiss more feminine men and masculine women as being as attractive in general. All that is is subsections of culture splitting off as we all become more connected. Like sure, a very serious middle aged women with no interests or exposure to any non serious media like video games or kink might not find a cutesy femboy attractive, but every femboy I’ve ever seen literally has women salivating over them all the time. It’s not actually hard to find partners if you’re just willing to be vulnerable and compassionate. Men who feel like they need to like, gamify or strategize over how to find a partner usually haven’t found a relationship where both people mutually want to stay in that relationship specifically because of the strategizing about it. The whole manosphere industry is designed to keep desperate men desperate whilst feeding their egos so that they can keep gradually obsessing more and more over content like this so they can make money off of you. Kind of like the makeup industry pressures women to look flawless whilst their products causes acne and makes our skin worse. We can feel pretty when wearing it and we need it more and more to cover up the blemishes that the makeup causes in the first place.
If you need a little proof of how unsuccessful this strategy is, I’ll just say that i find both of these men pathetic and if i ever found out my partner was thinking like this I’d be disgusted. And if you intend to get married, ideally you should be able to communicate and connect with your partner. And if you’re not trying to play and deceive her until you die, eventually whatever made you think this way will come out one way or another. And when a woman sees that, it’s probably going to be over unless you trapped her tbh. I think that’s probably what happens and why it’s rare to see influencers like the married, and why there are so many people who follow this content. And that makes many men disillusioned and jaded. Seriously try to undo the things you agree with in this video, it’s poison
3:30 When a character in the movie says the title.
Great video!
Anyone giving relationship advice should always preface by stating how many years they have been in a happy marriage. As a rule, I don't take relationship advice from anyone who hasn't been happily married for longer than I have, for the same reason I don't take financial advice from homeless people.
Nor should anyone ever take advince on how to be a man from a woman.
Would you only get cancer treatment from a cancer survivor?
every indian man is happily married knowing nothing about relationship. married ppl just cope rather than get what they want
@@hotarubinariko I dunno. I mean the people who mostly are romantically or sexually successful with women are...well men.
It's not either or. Most women have no idea what it's like to pursue or date women. Most men don't have an idea of a woman's I need experience, and visa versa. Both sides are important to understand.
@@sudarshanjs7988
No, I would get cancer treatment from an oncologist. And if I had a choice, I would choose a doctor with a long track record of successfully curing cancer over a doctor fresh out of med school. The only reason I am responding to you is because your comment is so ridiculous it made me laugh.
If women are contributing less than 50% on the way in, they should get less than 50% on the way out.
not every contribuition involves money
@@LILY-ic8pe There are multiple layers of irony and exposure of hypocrisy in my statement. You are alluding to one of them.
THANK YOU ORION🫵🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️
Hells yeah
New upload finally
A cross over i would've never expected
hahaha
Ikr
About damn time, Joseph! 😄
The insecurities have gone through the roof. The cheesy old “be yourself” is still valid by the way. That’s how you find who’s the one for you. If you approach dating with warfare tactics and manipulation, don’t be surprised when you end up with a full blown war on your hands. The foundation of whatever relationship you managed to attract was shaky to begin with. 8 billion people on this planet, God’s timing being a thing and all, and people really can’t handle a simple rejection.
always great to see when two of your favourite youtubers meet ❤
So basically they want someone rich with a great job who is attractive with a six pack, loyal and has a great sense of humour while’s she lay on the sofa eating Cheetos
as if men would refuse a more successful and rich partner 😂
this is such stupidity that it’s not even funny - everyone wants to get the maximum with a minimum of effort, incredible
I _do_ find more successful women attractive. I just have no reason to assume they'd find _me_ attractive, so I wouldn't dare to ask one out, but would accept if asked out by one. Age still plays a role of course, and it's not so much past success I care about as intelligence and future potential.
You will end up alone, dude.
Just ask. Some women like taking care of men.
😂
Anyone else surprised when this nonsense pops up in their feed?
Give and take is the core principle. Equality isn't.
Interesting, but I don't agree with his analogy that he "built the car, therefore he is driving and the woman is just a passenger who can leave if things don't work out" (I am paraphrasing).
I would modify his analogy in the following manner:
"He builds a canoe, and the woman builds the 4 oars: they both sit in the canoe and paddle together":
- there might be more work involved in building the canoe but without oars, the canoe goes nowhere
- both people have to agree on a common destination and work towards it, otherwise they'll go round in circles and/or get stranded.
- the woman's measurable output might be lesser than the man's, but she provides things that he can't, and furthermore she is taking a big risk going in the canoe with him as he could decide to throw her overboard (whilst keeping the oars for himself)and it would be unlikely that she could defend herself.
The 50/50 should not be considered in terms of measurable output: in the best partnerships (romantic or professional) each person brings something different to the table.
Quantum mechanics, esoteric theory and Shakesperean literature? Just find another man...
Most of the problems in the dating scene is as a society we have collectively stopped curbing our expectations due to modern media and social media. We are all different in our own ways, some men want stay at home wives, some women want a man who looks like Brad Pitt and also be VERY financially stable. It's a circus of having unrealistic expectations of our "ideal" partner and we end up fueling our own unhappines and as a result both parties end up blaming eachother when the truth is some where inbetween. For you men struggling, you have to put yourself out there and be confident in who you are and want you truly want in a women, for you women out there please understand that most men just want a partner they can love and support while expecting to at least get some of that back in return, it's really that simple. But for both parties please understand that a long term relationship is like a second job that requires work from both sides to stay afloat correctly and no one is perfect. It's up to you to figure out if it's worth fighting for.
This channel’s content transformes into Jordan Peterson content
How silly it is we live in a time where large groups of people think men and women are or can be the same.
I agree. Women are compassionate and empathetic. Meanwhile the only thing men are capable of is rage. So idk if you could say they're people. More towards animals tbh
As silly as thinking you can turn yourself into a woman.
Lots of blue pills out there.
Does that mean women doing the same crimes that men do are different?
I don't think they understand what romantic love means or the implications of it. I suggest to read the book „the history of romantic love“.
Romantic love is a recent invention (last couple of hundred years). Men love idealistically, women love pragmatically. Men are in love, women are in business.
Well damn
Be a powerful individual and make your own destiny! The rest will fall into place.
When a man says that to other men, he's a misogynist.
When a woman says that to other women, you go girly!
Anyone else get the feeling this guy (WIL) has had his heart broken by a lefty gal?
Bro straight up on track to a Daily Wire internship.
hahaha that's exactly what I thought too. Cheers mate
Yep. I mean why all this anti-feminism interest? That's usually why. I wish he'd keep his views on that topic to himself or exclusively post it on another channel. I loved when he primarily stuck to fasting and health. It's because of him why I don't want to use seed oils anymore, and why I got more enthusiastic about exercise and understanding diabetes. THAT'S the content I miss, not this crap.
However, it is his channel, so if he wants to change up his content, no matter how controversial or distasteful, he can. It's like I was watching my favorite make up influencer on CZcams for years about tips and tricks to apply different make up, just for her to all of a sudden spout anti-vaccine crap and how the government is trying to turn us (United States of America) into a communist country.
Actually, this did happen years ago. I used to crochet, so I was subbed to a lot of crochet channels. This one crochet person who was my favorite, Crochet Geek, did wonderful crochet videos until she just snapped on day and started posting conspiracy theory videos. She lost over 95% of her subscribers. She went from having thousands of views per video to just having a couple hundred. But that was her own making. When you have a niche channel, people watch your videos specifically for that.
If you're going to switch up your content, at least let your audience know before hand.
There’s what women want and then there’s what women really get into. Majority of relationships where there’s cohabitation or marriage, there’s financial contribution on both sides. Majority of these relationship conversations are coming from people with some form mental health issue. Egocentric thought and egotistical behavior due to fear and anxiety over failure or getting used. People need to stop looking to pop culture for healing and get into therapy with a licensed professional.
Consciously allowing the man to lead is a massive responsibility
"Infected with wokism" BASED GUEST
Shocking : women are looking for qualities in men similar to the way men are looking for qualities in women.
When talking about financial ressources providing more power in decision making, do you take into consideration stay at home mothers/fathers who don't have an income but still "work" because taking care of kids is still labour ?
Andrew Tate for people who think they’re smart?
11:25 _"i'm very much in the driver seat in my relationships...so as long as this works for you, let's drive together"_ This is not how romantic relationships work at all.
Are you in love with your partner or what? If both of you are in love with each other, no one would be putting their foot down and would be eager to find common ground and make concessions.
It is overlooked by everyone that is making statements about relationship dynamics: *The most important part about choices is that is has to be the right one, not that it is made by the woman or man.*
Being rational, men do the right choices more often. So you're in agreement.
Agreed. Redpillers do not want to compromise, have faith or have sentimentality with thier partner.
304's do the same thing and it really doesn't let any of them pair bond.
What I wish redpillers talk about is how to know a women is worth your trust. They automatically assume all women are untrustwothy and that no women should be trusted with your heart. Real shame to all the genuine women out there.
that opening track is amazing, what's it called??
This channel sucks now. What happened to LPT advice?
I already have a GF so I could care less about "the sexual marketplace" 🤮