How to Overcome Perfectionism (and the Anxiety it Causes) - College Info Geek
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- čas přidán 26. 06. 2024
- There are at least 2 mistakes in this video. Oh well.
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"Motivation Groundwork" - building systems that FORCE you to get things done: • When You Just CAN'T Mo...
Self-Discipline Advice from a Roman Emperor: • Self-Discipline Advice...
How to avoid stupid mistakes on exams: • 10 Ways to Avoid Makin... (because overcoming perfectionism DOESN'T meaning doing things sloppily)
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~ created by Thomas Frank
I had depression because of my perfectionism.
Stay strong. You're not the only one.
+Venus Eleni Same, when I realized I had a "problem."
you're not the only one..I was procrastinating for a short while on not finishing my project because I fantasize the idea of making it better,while in fact I'm just procrastinating, stay strong we can fight this
+Venus Eleni I did and still do as well. But it's gotten easier since I've learned to give myself a break.
Really allowing myself to be less than my ridiculously high standards has also allowed me be more open and accepting of others. Taking a step back really helps.
I think I may have something like that. I don't know if I'd call it depression for me, but it does make me sad when I either can't meet my standards, or more likely, I don't believe I can meet the standards I have in head (mental thing where I compare my ideal with what I've calculated as real in my head without having done the thing in reality yet).
1. realize NO ONE is perfect. embrace imperfections. failure is part of success
2. Get started and make a mess.
3. work with a deadline. (allows you to focus on completing the job)
4. improve a tiny bit each time.
5. do not compare yourself to others
Watch this everyday
The thing is, is that I know nobody is perfect but I still want to be. I can help compare myself to others
@@elysianquinn3223 me too
@@elysianquinn3223 Perfectionism isn't your problem, m8 ............ you're simply too competitive.
@@elysianquinn3223 I know what you mean.
My thoughts on 'Nobody is perfect' are, Yes, Nobody is perfect, or can be perfect, but BUT they can be near perfect, which is better than not being perfect. It's more closer to perfect. That's the goal. To be as perfect as can be.
When perfectionism actually ruins your relationships with LITERALLY EVERYONE.
SO TRUE!!!
How tho?
@@user-jt8db8gk9b You expect too much of them, too much of yourself, and nitpick every detail of absolutely everything on the face of the earth until no one can tolerate you.
I wrote that comment almost a year ago and I am happy to say that I am fighting perfectionism! My life isn't perfect and my room might be messy, but I am happy! Jesus loves you
@@hannahmorgan7213 Oh my goodness, I relate to that so much
@@hannahmorgan7213 Also, amen to that!
I’m just now starting to realize how badly my perfectionism has affected my whole life, my anxiety, fear of public speaking, hatred for school projects and lack of progression with language learning all come from being so afraid of doing something imperfectly that I end up not doing it at all. Hopefully I’ll be able to put some of these tips into practice and change for the better in the future.
I honestly thought I was alone on this one, I’m the same way or atleast used to be.
How are you doing now?
As a illustrator and music producer, these realizations on top of seeing peers work being wayy better than mine made me cry the first time in a long time. Realizing im not alone is comforting in a way, but i still feel like im trying to catch up a ridiculous amount with not enough time to do so and it scares me.
@@K150arts Hello dear friend,
I have the same problem, but I suppose that we should take it easy on us and as the video said, we need to improve a bit over time and "trust" that it will compound to a great success "whenever its time comes". Even though success isn't a certain threshold to reach and pass, but rather it's our feeling of accomplishment, thus we can feel that way with setting up little goals that are a small divisions of our master goal (divide and conquer). We also need to know that there is no urge to rush ourselves to be masters in a strict amount of time. Hope that this can help you ease up a little bit.
I just snickered during this entire video because I'm like "yup yup, that's me, mhmm"
I know, right. Haha.
I cried tbh because I can't believe someone else has this same problem and I'm not crazy
Why doesn’t this have more likes?
Same! Same!
My note taking experience:
5% Actual note taking
30% Thinking of note layout
50% Drawing unnecessary diagrams
15% "That was a bad idea, but I can't change it now without tearing out 4 hours of work"
Elapsed time: 7 hours
Pages in textbook covered: 2
same it sucks :(
Jeryll Lee DUDE YOU CONDENDED MY STUDY LIFE
SAME
Jeryll Lee OH MY GOSH YES
Same with me
I'm writing my thesis and I think I'm struggling with this.
I spend a whole day on just one paragraph, it's f*cking ridiculous.
CKCLUTCH me right now
Same right now.
CKCLUTCH OMG I THOUGHT IM THE ONLY ONE LOL
AHHH SAME. I had an essay due two days ago. Realistically most people will spend a few hours. I spent 1 and 1/2 days
Aahhh I can relate too much to this. I hate it.
"Instead of waiting for perfection, run with what you do and fix it along the way...." -- Paul Arden.
Thank you, this is so relatable to me. I've been a perfectionist since kindergarten and I have turned in late papers not because I haven't finished them but because I thought they were not good enough. I procrastinate because if feel like I can never make a project up to a standard I approve of so every time I end up doing work last minute and having anxiety and not being able to put my best work out there. I struggle with this a lot and I'm trying very hard to get through it so it is so nice to have a video like this to help.
1997hermione and how r u now? still a perfectionist?
I'm so happy to find somebody who also feels this way. Dude this is me all the time and it's really affecting my life terribly lol. I keep handing my assignaments late because I'm afraid to start them due to my high standards and then I end up rushing at the end which makes the quality of my work so much poorer then if I had started right away :/
@@FirstNameLastName-qv1tf same. It is so hard to accept the things as it is .
@@FirstNameLastName-qv1tf honestly:( although i still try my very best to pass on time, but compared to all of my classmates, im the one who turned in late the most.. due to same reasons with you guys.. im rly glad i am not alone..
Tips:
-Do it the day you got it and the time you go home (if you have time)
-Ignore typos (unless unreadable)
-Type it like it was for your friend
-Put your opinions + information you know about them first
-Do not rush it!
-Once done, fix typos, mistakes, add more information, edit it, so it sound more professional, consult with your friends (if you have them), family etc.
-Once its correct double check first at the first day right after consulting and last at school day before the lesson L starts.
-Correct any mistake if you have afterwads (only typos and mistakes that can be fixed quickly)
I hope that helps. :-)
the exact reason why i struggle with writing as much as i do.
EXACTLY . I could waste days trying to decide what to name the characters of a story I'm writing . perfectionism is really exhausting .
Youstina Nagi it really is it makes hard for me to focus on my studies amd live life without being overly stressed.
Hey, its been a year. im currently in the situation you were when you wrote this message. how are you now? did you get over the writing anxiety?
same here! i love writing but i always struggle with actually finishing anything
@@mwangole7257 Hey dude I feel terrible cus I never saw this till now lmao. I'm overall better than before but some of the classes still cause me confusion as to what to write and feel confident about my paper. I'm close to graduating though so something is going right haha.
You kind of saved my life. Thanks
wow saved your life
are you still alive?
@@mojo5093 omg she didnt answer back
she's either committed suicide or she's just ignoring me :D
Already 4 years ago R.I.P 😔
Realising I’m a perfectionist was the best thing that happened to me today, actually, in the last five years. You helped me so much :’) I will really strive to overcome this because perfectionism has been limiting me for a very long time and I never noticed that. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. ☀️
This could not have come at a better time. Thank you.
"If it took so many tries to learn how to ride a bike, why do you think you have to do other things perfect the first time". This is so simple but it's actually a huge mindset changer. I definitely think and feel differently just from hearing that alone.
I'll keep this in mind...you're right...tho it's too simple...but it's deep as well...
I'm a Maladaptive kind of person, I realized it when I entered university this year, things are still smooth and easy, but I struggle to get to work and i feel this anxiety and stress because I don't know what the limits of what i'm studying are. which leads to procrastination, long story short, what you listed in 2:07 applies to me exactly!
What if others that study with me have covered the material while I didn't due to my stupid procrastination? i can't blame anyone but myself. how can I just be soulless when i'm studying? just straight work no distractions!! that's what i'm looking for!
Guess i'll just keep working problem sets and see where i go from there..
You did a great job on the making of the video! really well made! thank you!
how u r doing now , really wanna know
Thomas! I just want to say I'm so grateful about this video, I'm just starting in CZcams and I was having the controversy of stopping or keeping with my channel cause I don't think I am like the self-help and motivation CZcams Masters right now. But it's so true that we usually lack of information on how hard others worked and how much they had suffered to get there. I love the idea of focusing on getting a bit better each time and that "Skill and knowledge come through countless iterations, not through executing perfectly on the first iteration" and this came like GOLD in this moment. So that's it, I just wanted to say THANK YOU! 😊
Thank you!! Perfectionism is my biggest problem. When you were describing the four big problems with perfectionism, you were basically describing my life. The bike metaphor seems like it will be helpful for me to keep in mind.
Problem?!? Perfectionism is my blessing!!
Can you do a part 2 on this???? If you have more, I'd love to hear it!
things like.... how to become an adaptive perfectionist!
I was always such a lazy kid that I never realized I had turn a perfectionist - a maladaptive one.
thanks for the self-knowledge
I just love how your videos aren't just applicable for students, but also for content creators of all kinds. Thank you so much!
This is the video I come back to more often then any other video out there!! I can't thank you enough. It gives me confidence to let my work be imperfect and to just write (even writing this post I wanted to edit a number of times, but I gave myself a deadline to get it out in a minute).
hope to make more videos about concentration and how to avoid day dreaming and procrastination
I honestly think of you as batman of studies, + you come across as a great bro. These videos have helped me so much, so thanks for that :)
OMG thank you!!! You don't understand how much this helped me. I kept trying to reduce my stress and anxiety. I didn't realize it was my perfectionism (until 2 weeks ago). Thank you so much! Your videos are the best and have changed my life!
I struggle with perfectionism thinking about my past, and feeling depressed because things weren't as good as I would have liked them to be, even when they could be considered good enough. Perfectionism is not only about the future, or projects, but I can certainly get a tip or two from this video. Good work! Thank you!
wow i've always thought i was more on the adaptive side, turns out i lied to myself because i'm obviously more maladaptive.
oh and the bike reference didn't apply to me. i was already a perfectionist as a kid. i only drove my bike when i was sure i wouldn't fall off. so i did it a few weeks later than the rest but never fell. yep it was that bad at already age 4 or something haha
i always struggle with getting started but this motivates me to do better! :)
overall the video was very helpful, thank you!
+panicatdx I learned to ride my bike without stabilisers when I was 11. Was too scared to try :)
haah, same, people tried to pull the "oh i won't let go ;) " BS on me, but i would just leave the bike in the middle of the road and walk home so they had ro push it home themself... i've been a supremely stubborn perfectionist since before i was a toddler. similar thing with learning to read
I relate to what you said so much. When I was a baby, the first time I got on my two feet was when I knew for sure I knew how to walk. Even at 2 I couldn't bare failure.
Are you me? I was gonna comment the same about the bike - that's not how I worked as a kid. As a 2 year old I was already scared of doing things wrong and making mistakes. 20 years later and it's turned out to be a personality disorder and it's holding me back big time. I'm finally going into therapy for this. It feels really ironic now, all those times I avoided saying it on job interviews because you shouldn't, and now it really turned out to be my biggest weakness :P
panicatdx gimme five
Amazing. This is exactly what I needed to learn about this week. I'm literally in a tough spot this semester with trying to manage medical issues, financial problems, and academic worlkloads. In trying to understand myself and how I approach problems, this granted a bit more insight into what kind of perfectionist I am and gave me some advice about what to work towards improving.
Thank you for that. Perfectionism can be so tricky, beautiful and motivating when positive, so frustrating and violent when not so positive. And i definitely rely to what you say about how it causes procrastination!! I really hope you'll do more videos on this topic, as I feel many people can rely. I sure can!!
This entire video is so relevant to my life these past few days. I've been trying to finish a research paper, and after researching for 4 days, I haven't found the quality of research I wanted. Once I decided to write the paper with whatever info I did find, it's really hard to condense it all into an 1800 word limit. I've written way too much but don't think I've done a high quality analysis. fml
all my life I thought being a perfectionist is a really good thing but the more I grow, the more I learn that not everything needs to be perfect. I’m kind of really stressed out and anxious whenever things don’t go as perfectly as I planned. I literally ruined every relationship I have with anyone 😞😞😞 thanks for the enlightenment!!!!
wow once again, you got me. I'm a huge perfectionist but the maladaptive kind and you opened my eyes. I've gotten to the
point where stress and anxiety have taken over me and you helped me understand and work on this issue I have. I'm always grateful for your videos. you are awesome and an inspiration. thank you.
Wow, so amazing. Thank you so much!
Yes! This video is such a yes. I really like at the end how you said "The Audience never knows what you didn't say" I find that everyone has perfectionism to some point and it can definitely cause anxiety and procrastination. I know my perfectionism causes me to overthink my topics and it makes me want to try to so hard to make sure I say everything, to the point where it just holds me back. Thank You!
You have no idea how much I appreciate this. Thank you so much! In the past I used perfectionism as a way to cope in life and as an imaginary way to be happy, but in the end it made me totally miserable. Letting go of perfectionism has made my work far better and made me enjoy life so much more, so thank you for the reminder and for spreading the word.
this type of video is exactly what i've been searching for - and i'm sad i'm only just now finding it - but i'm so glad it exists at all
The ending of this video was such a revelation for me!!! I struggle with this often-all of the details that could/should be included. Thank you for sharing!
It's not just that the content of your videos is always valuable and helpful, you're one of the few inspirational people that I came across. It's rare to find someone who's that passionate to help others. Thank you!
it's the video that made me realize a lot of things. almost an year now of watching self-improvement videos and felt like I couldn't do what they said with all the effort in the world (because I wanted to do all of it perfect), but now I realized the problem and I feel like superman, like all the tips and tricks finally work . Thank you!
I'm doing revisions of my first completed rough draft of a novel and having massive panic attacks every day after it, and this video was really helpful to me. thank you
I love you man I have seen many CZcams channels but the densed content you create really resonates with me. Thank you for being there .
Thank you for this. I have Dysthymia and recently learned that my (moderately disruptive) perfectionism is how I’ve learned to cope with it. Thank you for describing this as what it actually is, and not as the ‘popular’ version everyone thinks they have.
Thank you so much for making this video! You saved my life. I had been having a hard time with my work, especially recently, when I am writing my personal statement and doing my college application. I spent nights and days sitting in front of the word document but couldn't even produce a few paragraphs. Thanks for the advice and please keep making the videos!
This was so incredibly eye opening. I have tweaked my comic story a hundred times obsessing over little things and never settling on anything. I'm so happy I found this video, really opened my eyes to my deep rooted problem and likely the reason I no longer create anywhere near the amount of content I used to when I was a teenager.
Beautiful! Thank you. Thank you for this video and all other videos of yours. I've been watching your videos every morning for a week now. And life has gotten better.
"Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor"
Perfectionism isn't all bad!
The juxtaposition of these two lines was extremely good
You're a fantastic orator - I've learned so much from you over the past few months. Your intelligence and work-ethic will certainly take you far Thomas.
Not being able to make mistakes is a huge problem. Successful people know you've got to fail hard and fail fast, learn, and then just keep getting better incrementally. I spoke about this in one of my videos recently. Great reminder, thanks Thomas!
As a perfectionist I have to say this video is perfect to me and helps me a lot to overcome my perfectionism, thank you so much.
"The audience never knows what you didn't say"
I'll make sure to remember that one..
Just came across this youtube channel. It helps me out a lot. This video was awesome too. I usually don't comment because i try to make the best comment and ended up leaving it but you motivated me to do this time.
Your channel is super cool and helpful. Keep up the good work👍
What a display of honesty, competence and relevance--much appreciated!!
I just did a midterm exam and I needed this. I'm happy you made this video
Maladaptive perfectionism is something I struggle with CONSTANTLY - the amount of projects I've abandoned or have done 'do-over's for is frankly astonishing; nothing I start ever seems to get done because of constant tweaking and second guessing. Setting deadlines seems like a really good idea... I'm gonna try to do that more. Thanks for the tip!
Thank you, this helps a lot. My perfectionism has gotten out of hand to the point of anxiety and even depression at some point because I was too afraid to pick up anything. 💪 I'm going to start by setting some deadlines. I'm looking forward healing from this.
You have no idea how much i appreciate these videos. This one in particular helped me a lot! Thankyou so much for doing these.
You changed the way I look at things with this video. You inspire me. Thank you.
Thank you for posting the video. I'm quite the perfectionist which really prevents me from getting started or learning because it's so dreadful to fail even the tiniest bit. It's particularly detrimental when learning a new language because the best way to learn is to speak it.
I got emotional of how Dead on the nose all these points were. You have made me realize that I shouldn't be comparing myself to someone who have an unfair advantage and no one's perfect. You deserve my sub
I just wanted to say thank you for this video. I didn't realize that all the things that give me anxiety are so characteristic of a perfectionist, and hearing that really brought things into perspective. I do feel like tasks are monumental and I do compare myself to others with even the tiniest mistakes somehow seeming so big. I now atleast know it's a real problem and how I can work on it. Thank you:)
This is amazing. It’s like you made this video for me.
I just watched a video about ADHD and perfectionism and it really opened my eyes. But then, I really thought I’d like a video similar that applied to content creation, because that’s something I’m very interested in at the moment.
I’m a streamer and struggle with ADHD, perfectionism, and anxiety. These things stop me and hold me back all the time, and I don’t want them to. I needed this kind of video. Thank you :)
Thomas, you have no idea how helpful and on time this was. Thank you so much ♡
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am definitely maladaptive, and I can't explain how happy I am that I found this video (and channel). Thanks for the honesty ..this was definitely a kick in the ass.
Wow, probably the best 5 minute talk I’ve ever heard on this subject. 🙏 so much!
This was SUPER useful. You've devoted yourself to doing really great work in life, and it shows.
I've been waiting for this! Right on time! Thank you love!
I struggle with perfectionism too. What you said was pretty well-said, you just have to do what you do with confidence and learn from mistakes. There will always be something to improve on with anything: a project, any skill, and any school assignment.
I am a perfectionist and I understand how this affects my life in a negative way, however, even though I want to change it, I don't want to strive for mediocrity. I still want to excel, but how do you excel without being a perfectionist? Or do the two go hand and hand?
This really resonates with me. I’ve been an entrepreneur for the past several years, so finding the balance is always on my mind. Have you tried meditation? Meditating on how you define excellence may help you define what the right balance is for your own goals.
It depends on how far you are from excelling before being a perfectionist is necessary.
Instead of "perfectionism" make "improvisation" your standard. Observe and learn. Do it yourself. If you do it wrong. Try again. Have the zeal to try again. You begin to do it amateur. Do it again. Enjoy doing it at at whatever level you are. Enjoy and keep doing it again and again. You will keep improving it. I have to remind myself of the "bicycle learning" experience to stick to the process in learning anything new. I have to remind myself it will come gradually.
I really appreciate the silhouette btw
What a great video! I stumbled upon it last night when I was at the bottom of a ddl depression working on a project due 2 hrs later... I have always prized myself as a perfectionist, but I never realize there's such a huge difference between me and those whom I often idolize/imitate (the adaptive perfectionists whose failures I don't see). Clearly I'm a maladaptive case, as proved by the state I mentioned last night lol ... after doing some research today about perfectionism, I decided to try sth new (sth I ignored or even avoided before..), here it is:
When I do something, like doing an assignment/spending a Friday night/a workout session, I'm gonna think about the last time I did it, and try to improve a little bit upon that. That's just enough. If I'm lucky, which is to say my new attempt works, I will go far this time; if it's just a little step, then so be it; if it fails, then next time I'm gonna try sth different and appreciate the lesson I learned.
Don't know if it'll work, but it's already liberating to just think about. Thanks so much for the video Thomas!
My mind is blown!!!! This has been my problem this whole time................ I'm a maladaptive perfectionist..... Even now in this moment I want to say that I'm an adaptive because it seems less intrusive but honestly..... I'm not..... I'm just thinking that because it is better than my current state of mind.... I got some work to do. Thanks for relaying this message Thomas
Thank you so much for this video, Thomas! Much appreciated!
I am glad i watched this as a 15 year old.
Idk why i feel like you're talking directly to me.
I have this problem since alot of years and you diagnosed it without even me letting you know.
Mr.Frank you're my favorite CZcamsr and i would love to meet you in my future.
I watch your videos everyday.
I hope my future will be like yours and present role model.
YOU ARE MY GOD
My future has been analysed
I'm a maladaptive perfectionist, have been my whole life. This is one of your best and most useful videos ever. Thank you very much for the tips.
I was diagnosed with OCD in high school and have come a long way form where I was then. However, I still struggle with perfectionism. This video really helps... you gave a lot of great tid-bits of information that I will try to remind myself. I know that messy is beautiful but sometimes the OCD tries to get in the way of that (I must finish so many ______). Thanks again!
I desperately needed this advice Thomas, thank you so much. Currently writing a research paper and learning to create android apps, whilst being a perfectionist - not a great combination. I will take this advice to heart!
Gosh!! Watching this felt like a life saver.
Thanks! I've been struggling with maladaptive perfectionism ever since the first lockdown started and I started taking birth control which had me spiraling into a panic disorder of sorts. It made my formerly adaptive perfectionism barrel down the spectrometer to maladaptive. It's caused fear of failure, anxiety, work paralysis, controlling tics and a perfectionist urge to be right, perfect and all functioning all the time. It's bloody stressful.
Well done for putting it out mate - very interesting video!
Thank you for putting this out, I'm an artist and I had no idea my high stress and anxiety level was primarily caused by my obsession with wanting to be perfect at everything! Very informative.
I should have watched this a year ago! Please don't stop posting video. I am looking to improve myself, and I am always watching videos like yours. Thank you. This is very good! I hope I could have discussions with you about some issues one day. :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for making this video! I’m a maladaptive perfectionist (carrying Autism) myself and I’ve struggled with my maladaptive perfectionism my entire life. These tips are super helpful! God bless you, sir.
Hey Thomas ! Just watching the quality of this video and compared to today, you really proved a point of doing small efforts into big changes over time , it's really inspiring , thanks for the info !!!
this has been one of the most helpful videos ever! thank you for making it, keep making videos✌🏽
Thanks Thomas. I needed this right now!
Amazing video, I am guilty of trying to perfect everything in my life especially in my work. Just had a minor set back in my career but to me it felt like an avalanche. It felt like it through me completely off course and "im not where im suppose to be at". Im really focusing and trying to not compare myself to others. Great video, really good perspective.
Very clear and concise, and helpful material. Thanks man!
I cried watching this ;) thank you for the video, I really needed it
thanks man !!! you just make me realize what was holding me back for a long long time...
I love this video. I struggle a lot with maladaptive perfectionism and I procrastinate so much because of it. I'm about to write an exam paper right now and I really needed to remind myself that I'm allowed to make a mess. Thanks!
Your videos and advice are excellent. Best in the genre.
love your videos! I have found them to be so helpful.
I love your videos so much, this especially was a big help.
This video is just beautiful. I'm grateful that you made this "imperfect video." Thank you. ^^
This was my suggestion!! Thanks for the video :)
Thank you for making this video!
This really helps! I'm a growing musician. I'm a Violinist and I've been playing 6 years and I seriously struggle with trying to be perfect and so nitpicky! I just got back from a lesson and my teacher touched on many spots in my playing with love and support of course and wanted to remind me how far I've come! It's something I don't think about much. I don't give myself enough credit for my accomplishments in life. So...yeah day by day I want to be a better friend to myself!
This video was what I truly needed to hear. Thank you so much.
I appreciate your placement of the light on the little ship!
man for me YOUR videos are the perfect ones i wanna do myself but i never start because i´m afraid my vid could be shitty and there would be mean comments or sth
One of my favorites, congrats!