3 words we use that point at residual resistance |
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- čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
- Sometimes the answer is in the question. Seeing which words point at hidden obstacles and looking into that can help us get unstuck.
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Your videos are so, so good and helpful. I already see a difference in my sleep (which has been bad for over 40 years) after one week of ‘practicing’. And you also have a soothing voice which turns out to be very helpful as well in this specific matter 😉.
Thank you for you kind feedback
Great video! I definitely recognize these words in myself, and understanding the meaning or significance behind them is really helpful.
Thank you for your comment Sarah! So glad the video was helpful!
This makes a lot of sense. Thank you Alina.
Thank you
Are you still offering coaching? The page on your website isn’t loading. Thank you!
Hi Coach,
I feel like all these teachings and understanding leads to a wall. A wall which only breaks with acceptance however I know that acceptance is the only thing that will make things easier but at the same time I can’t seem to change my intention with acceptance. It’s not true acceptance rather conditional. Do you think true acceptance comes after we’ve struggled for a long time? I mean it’s the fact that you just want to give up, but giving up is equally hard.
How do I approach this
I follow !
Hai coach i am alin your bedtyme client and didnt subscribed new snd its very helpful worked with you and feelings very sad now but days and nigts are better but not good most nights are good and days all are very good but nights little bit bumby not feared but my brain looks faster what i cant do tomorrow if will not sleep faster when i awake
Hey Alin! This sounds like you are going through a bump on the journey which is so normal and expected. And of course, it can be very frustrating. Sometimes the brain gets extra cautious, and we may find ourselves feeling more vulnerable and anxious than before. But bumpy periods do end, just like they did before. When we allow ourselves to experience both ups and downs, things can get smoother and easier. I made a few vids before on the speedbump topic that might be helpful
@@FearlessSleep yes Alina it's bumbs due to some exam stress also their I am very fine during days but exam feels stress on and give attention on sleep 😂
Hi Coach,
So generally when I’m about to fall asleep, I try to tell my brain that I don’t need sleep to have a paradoxical effect. Is it a good way to go about it?
I think we can't fool the brain by trying to tell it a lie. Because in reality - we all want to sleep well, it is a perfectly normal desire. The problem arises when we try to ignore the reality and pretend like we don't have desires. It is a much more ecological and kinder way to accept that we might have certain desires and instead of fighting with ourselves, we allow the night to unfold however it pleases, as well as allowing ourselves any emotions to arise, including the ones where we don't like wakefulness. That can remove a lot of pressure which can lead to some truly paradoxical outcomes. But using paradoxical intention with the intent to control sleep might end up being an effort. Hope this makes sense!
Hey @SleepTalksAlina, I had a thought about this topic kind of merged with a few others:
"Residual Resistance" + SpeedBumps + Sleep Truce's which @thesleepcoachschool8192 It's been many months now and I've felt like for most nights sleep has done it's job. It's not always smooth and sometimes there are wakeups but typically it's not hard.
But the last few weeks it felt like a slow degradation and last night It felt like it peaked so here are a few things i've noticed that perhaps you can comment on.
* I've eliminated most of the obvious efforts( but at night I was still sort of going through a ritual of setting up my phone and headphones and pillows, just in case it was gonna be rough), and each night i'd read a little in some buddism book or sleep book, and then switch to fantasy novel and then just close the book and lay there just trying not to try and usually i'd just wake up at 6:30 and great. But I had the ritual but i'd sleep. This felt a bit like the Truce example where it was "working" but also there was residual resistance.
I had the thought that perhaps to move forward I need to stop creating this little saftey blanket that I had created of being prepared just in case I didn't sleep. So left the headphones in the drawer.. All in effort to say, I'm not going to let it control me.
* Also I noticed that i'd find my mind still in the morning doing sleep math, and then i'd quickly tell myself don't do that, you don't need to (#Insight: i'm wondering as you said in your speedbumps videos if the efforts get smaller or harder to see, perhaps this is one). Or sometimes I "still" find myself being posed with making plans for the future and then my thoughts do a quick fear thought about my sleep and then i remind myself that whatever. And yet... it's still there.
* At night before bed, the fears/thoughts about "will I sleep, what will happen, and reminding myself to just let it happen" pop into my head. they flutter about while i'm watching TV with the wife before bed, maybe while i'm brushing my teeth and then fade. (#Insight: There seems to be residual resistance here)
So it feels like perhaps i'm at this place where there is this truce + residual fear that has me in speedbump that as you said your plumbing analogy, perhaps there are tiny little bits of sand still in there. I'd love to hear you disect this residual resistance / truces and the speed bumps.
Finally last night when I found myself not falling asleep I saw your video about the speedbumps and at the end you spoke about getting cocky and how you thinking that you could just get through it but actually that approach just made it worse. I just told my self well i'm in a speedbump and so yay, i'm going to learn something new, but lets just be calm and move through it but I also don't want approach this speedbump wrong. (#Insights - perhaps you have more insights here).
Thanks again!
Hey Mark! Thanks you for your detailed comment! I will include it in my next Q&A video and will share my thoughts on this!