We reuploaded this video from Psych2Go Education, our second channel dedicated to the advice & solution side of psych2go. If you're interested in supporting our work, don't forget to subscribe or share it. Help us reach 25K SUBS: czcams.com/channels/Hl2NWvXxd8KcNP1lmc5OuQ.html
I have a question..so my mom supposedly calls me “broken” as joke. But it hurts. Is this something I should tell her to stop doing? Or do I just leave it and ignore it?
@@weakattheknees. please tell her to stop, if she is invalidating your feelings, that's some crappy parenting, no offense, talk to her about how you feel
@@Meleeman011 I get what you're saying but forgiving people who hurt you doesn't mean you have to trust them again. It's for you and your own happiness 🤗🤗
Recently my therapist told me that I may be holding anger on people who hurt me in the past and I can't move on from that and idk how to move on from that no matter how aware I am of these negative thoughts and feelings
@@Svenny21 very true but what if that person just gives silent treatment? And literally says i dont understand what you mean. I dont want to talk about it. I dont understand that logic.
I feel like this is exactly for me. I've been getting so mad even at little things, and it's like I've had my villain origin story after quarantine started lmao
You know what? It's normal. Deep inside of every people they had this essence of madness and anger, but because of society they disown it, hide it, bury it very deep
I do care for myself. The problem is all the individuals, groups, and systems, that go out of their way to steal resources & happiness from me, when I just want to be left alone. And somehow I'm wrong, cutting them out of my life, evading them, disfiguring, or killing them in defense of self & property. One major thing I have learned on my own, is to beware of those who are offended by, who have a problem with, you being strong, independent, and living happily-ever-after without them. This includes cops & zealots.
"Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself." It's not for the other person's mental health - it's for your own. Then you get to decide how much to trust that person going forward.
I concur. People can word-glue forgiveness and trust however they like, but there's great power from knowing forgiveness and trust as completely separate concepts. We're all entitled to forgiveness, but trust is earned.
I think this really depends on the situation. If they continue to hurt you, can't be reasoned with, cross your boundaries and don't take responsibility for their actions, and if it's someone you have to see on a regular basis because of family or work, forgiving them can lead to resentment of both them and yourself. Them, because they don't realise how many times you've had to forgive them already, how much you've had to deal with from them and how much they're STILL hurting you, and yourself because you'll feel worthless having to always put up with their crappy behaviour. Forgive yourself for feeling angry! It's alright, it's a human response! If you're angry, you're angry. Find out why you're angry and sort it out, don't label it as a negative emotion and suppress it. Emotions aren't wrong or bad, they're trying to tell you something. I've had to be the "bigger" person ever since I was a kid, because my brothers and my parents couldn't. I've distanced myself from them and they're all lashing out now, because I'm supposed to be the kind and forgiving daughter. A dysfunctional relation will have a dysfunctional system, but it WILL have a system. Don't become part of the system, don't become a martyr and accept crappy behaviour because it's the nice thing to do or because it's demanded or expected. Don't let others police your emotions or tell you how to feel.
- ive actually came a long way with my anger, i used to be so angry but ive learned to relax and try to be more understanding. yes, i was always an understanding person but i never sat and understood. now i sit and understand, regardless of how the other person sees it.
@@danieller9778 - Controlling your anger will never come easy. itll will be moments where you slip and find yourself getting angry over something small but that’s okay. understand that a lot of time, effort, and patience will come with it but i promise you, you’ll get through it. don’t be so hard on yourself, be patient.
I remember being such an angry person when I was younger. I didn't know why. I felt like I was being treated like a monster and the people who bullied me got away with it because they knew I couldn't fight back. They turned everyone against me and I wanted them to burn, to suffer and for them to die for what they did. Now I know why I was so volatile back then. My own parents left me to suffer alone. When I moved out, I wanted to not only burn the bridge with them, but to burn anything attached to that damn bridge. Though now I just live in spite of what they have done to me.
Hi, I know we don't know each other personally but I'm sorry for what you had to go through, man, that can be a very triggering experience for anyone to go through
Same i was bullied, one of the only white kids at an all mexican school so ya know. When i come home i get yelled at and insulted by my step father, beaten. And my mother just told me to listen to him thats what pissed me off. And now since i couldnt express my anger, my emotions then i carry that anger with me now and get mad at everyone and everything even if its just a normal question someones asking me i snap at them and we end up fighting.
@@HunterAllen-jb7hlme too :/ it was a lot worse before where I couldn’t even see that I was overreacting to their general question. It deeply keeps you isolated, I hope you recover and thrive
i guess it's like minecraft poison, it can deplete your health down to half a heart but you're still alive so you think you're fine but one blow and you're out.
I mean you are not wrong. But wait until you get damage potions thrown at you while poisoned. In other words wait until your anger gets fueled by a bad day.
Autism meltdowns are caused by being overwhelmed easily by keeping up speaking, speed of everyone, loud noises and a lot of times a combination of both
Hm, when they talked about harmful beliefs like that "Anger is a bad emotion," and "No one likes angry people," that really hit me hard because those are things I genuinely believe and tell myself, more or less... Once again, after telling me I'm bottling things up, the video leaves me wondering how to cope with anger in a healthy way. I've only seen this issue discussed to the extent that they do here; just as far as "Don't hold on to anger, don't bottle up emotions, etc." That's great, but what next? How does someone who struggles with this stop doing it wrong? If Psych2Go had less signs that you're doing badly and more tips on how to do well, I think that would help. < 3
There is a Buddhist proverb related to this, something like "Holding onto anger is like holding onto a burning coal." Meaning you're on guard and more likely to throw it at someone else (probably not the original person who caused the pain), and it is only burning you the longer you hold onto it!
Beautifully explains my person's in mind issues. She doesn't hold back with spreading her anger but refuses to drop that piece of coal, not realising she's firing it up while constantly being hurt by the heat. Even stranger as she's natively Buddhist.
If you know what causes your anger work on it. Use it as a positive that you know why. Don’t just leave it there as an excuse to be angry. You’ll loose friends, jobs, money over dis stuff plz
I'm actually reeeeeeaaaally good at suppressing my emotions. It's gotten really bad and I know I'm hurting my own health, physically and mentally, but it often feels like letting these emotions out will lead to something worse than the pain I go through holding it in...
Psych2go is literally just like the angel that no one knew that we wanted or deserved sometimes that's how I view them as but I and I'm sure many others are always so dang grateful to have them around nonetheless.
When someone close to me insults me or hurts me, I instantly start crying, like literally, because before anger, I feel disappointment and later I feel angry. But I honestly don't like that my tear glands are always so damn active. Though I don't think crying is a sign or weakness, it somehow bothers me when I do so in front of the person who hurts me.
@Matt Ceretto though I did say so, I think in my heart I believe that it is 🙂😩 But I wear my heart on my sleeves all the time so it's almost impossible for me to not show my emotions
People can't understand our tears and sadness so how can we cry in front of them. Try hard but stopping my tears are the most difficult thing for me. I am having the same problem again and again.
Same and I hate it 😡 I have been bullied verbally for it. I hate my school system. They're always like "come to us if your bullied" but they don't actually do anything. And on the rare occasion they do something, it doesn't work because parents can't raise their child right and give punishment when needed. I know if I did something like bully someone, the least extreme punishment would be being grounded for 3 months atleast
My mother uses insults to punish me When I forget to wash the dishes she says “ I always forget to do that and I am a dirty person” I know she is with me but she with helping depression as I’m currently working on feeling good about myself and that is the 3rd day I’m doing it. I don’t wanna lose the streak.
You’re right about how holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting others to get harmed, I’ve held it in for at least 7 years at this point, it’s caused me a whole list of problems that I’ve been struggling with such as addictions, anger issues, depression, self loathing, etc, it hurt my life in many ways and now that I can see that holding onto anger is bad, I want to be able to process it in a healthy manner now instead of risking myself taking it out on someone else in a violent manner
This video hit the nail on the head, I was never allowed to be angry as a child do to my parents religious extremism. To make a long story short, I dealt with my anger through alcohol, and black magick. I'd use demons to take revenge on not only my previous family, but anyone who did me wrong. Through rituals, spells, and curses with the demonic use anger, hate, rage, envy, and jealousy. Oh yes, it works, and is far superior to anything else you could possibly do.
It’s definitely a slow moving poison. We may not realize it’s influencing your actions but it does. The way I realized I used to hold anger before was when I looked back at some posts I used to make on social media and videos from my friends. It was kind of a shock to me cause it was like seeing an alter ego. I had become bitter and resentful. When I realized that I had become someone I didn’t really like I started to look deep at why those things bothered me and why it meant so much to me and that exercise really helped. It’s good to take time to think and meditate even more so now in these stressful times. And even better to get professional help if you can. Btw, the mom animation reminded me of “La Chancla”. Old school Latina moms are known for that powerful disciplinary move Lol... Luckily my mom only used that twice on me, that I can remember, and it was totally justified hahaha
Woah never clicked this fast in my life, I'm going through this n i feel like shit. I'm scared of myself, i don't know what i can do to person when when I'm slightly angry, I've been holding it in for yrs, it's very dangerous now
Not forgiving people is like drinking poison and expecting them to die. "They haven't earned my forgiveness" Is just an excuse to be rude and have an attitude while feeling justified.
When I get angry... I really do tend to try to suppress it. Hide it behind a false smile and try to make sure others can't tell that Im upset. Everyone can tell. I've been told by many close friends. But I don't feel like I can confront the people who have upset me (usually someone close) in that moment because something is going on and I don't want to ruin: a night out with friends, an expensive dinner, a small get together, etc. For the most part it's only by people who I care about/for who have done or allowed something to happen that hurt my emotions without them realizing it. And I've come to recognize that they can't read my mind so I need to speak up but it's hard to do. I only recently figured that last part out so I'll need some practice but I'm going to try to approach someone who has hurt me in a calm manner and tell them why what they did hurt or crossed my boundary and try to communicate me feelings more effectively.
True EXCEPT when after a long life, you suddenly find yourself labeled “elderly” and get stuck in a situation -such as a nursing home- where you actually have plenty to be angry about but for the first time in your life, you are powerless to do anything about it. THEN how do you manage anger? No practice. . .
@@thecommenter2711 I see. There was a time in my life where holding on to hate helped me get through things, but now it's more of a nuisance than anything and I can't get rid of it.
Hatred is the focused application of the emotion of anger; it represents much more a decision, or direction for the anger. Also, when anger is (typically) rooted in fear, hatred is a choice to stay stuck in that negative place. Hatred is really drinking the poison!
A great tool for dealing with repressed anger is writing an unsent letter. Just open up a Microsoft word doc and pretend you’re writing a letter to the person who wronged you telling them exactly what you think, but after you’re done, don’t send it, just delete it. This way you can totally let it rip, be uncensored about it, and get it all out of your system, without having to actually hurt anyones feelings or make yourself look bad
I need to talk about my anger I still pretty young, but I'm a really REALLY stressed person. Almost anything can make me stressed, even things I like to do. I already suffered from the consequeces of my anger, and these can be bruises (I hurt myself when I get angry), sadness, unmotivation and bad thoughts. I wanted to hear (read) what you guys have say about this
Honestly I Dont Know what to say your like me I’m young stressed and getting bruises by hitting my self and I don’t have the guts to tell anyone I need a therapist that’s why I’m on CZcams and here on this video just have a good day wish you luck with your life
Let’s say you might be now distant with a friend or family member that you were very close to a while ago. The communication is broken that can lead to a bad relationship we’re you don’t talk at all. Also let’s say your fighting with one of your closest friends and you’ve gotten to the point of thinking of ending the relationship, you might need to talk to that person to fix that bond together.
Same. Thats why i dont, and always try to make jokes even when im really not happy. It comes more naturally nowadays. And now its even scarier, because even though i suck at hiding my emotions, i naturally joke around my friends as if i dont feel sad. But im not really happy when im making fun of myself, and others. Just know, there will be someone who understands you. I will understand you if no one does.
I can understand a lot within this video admittedly, as someone who has had nearly all of these negative experiences happen to them, themselves. Suppressing anger is always idolized but really we need every single one of our emotions and suppressing it can lead to so much pain and suffering. I do hope others struggling with this can battle through, this isn't an easy thing to overcome at all.
Holding on to anger is dangerous; but I have no choice. Whenever I express my feelings either to parents or peers I'm always misunderstood so I'd rather hold it in until it boils over because people don't understand
When I’m mad.. I’m mad and I take the consequences of my anger… I don’t want to be that way anymore.. but when someone makes me mad it’s for a reason..
I held onto my anger for 22 years. I'm doing better now that I have let go of it. Sometimes the niceness that you show to others comes at the expense of your own happiness and well-being. Sometimes being nice gets to the point where others start to take advantage of your kindness and use your good nature against you.
I really needed this video, I've been dealing with intense migranes following me with my ongoing frustration at my father. It's been affecting my life terrible years and I've been contemplating self-harm(it doesn't help that there are scissors everywhere in my house) I don't really know what to do nowadays but maybe I can concentrate and understand my emotions instead of repressing them and suffering the side affects.
i have the opposite problem i forget why i'm mad at them. so i constantly remind myself why i'm mad at them and never forgive and never forget, and i'm just fine, no backaches, no fatigue, no migranes. but uh im a firm believer of holding onto anger. since i err so far on the people taking advantage of me side.
When I was younger, my peers loved getting the best of me and as a result got anger issues. The slightest poke would cause me to explode. Now that I'm older, I'm learning to deal with it, though I have some suppressed anger from years ago.
@Agent Of Chaos 666 haaaaaa i just screamed and cried but it wasnt anger it wasnt even frustration for me it was just action because i felt like i could have no impact on anything else in my life
I don't know. But my symptoms say that I have severe depression. I am such a angry person. I get angry so very much easily and really don't know how to deal with it. The situation is getting worse day by day.
I needed to hear this, I’ve recently had a issue with a woman I liked who took advantage of my fear of abandonment to constantly ghost me on dates and avoid contact with me for days and act like nothing was wrong, needless to say it broke me and I couldn’t get out of my own head. Still trying to figure out why I feel this way and why I aloud myself to fall in love with such a psychopath
I absolutely love that you referred back to how a child throwing a tantrum gets dealt with. Too often, a child gets yelled at or a whoopin for a tantrum. It just shows the importance of learning how to deal with emotions but also taking the time to understand children when they feel the need to throw a tantrum so you can teach them how to deal with it in a more constructive way. The child throwing a tantrum part was deep. Thank you for that.
Sigh... This is me. I feel angry about a lot of things & 1 of 2 results always happen: Deny it to someone who notices & fake being happy/fine, or express my emotions & why, but then get laughed at for it. In addition this applies to my split with my soulmate. I try to express my feelings about how I feel about anything, & I get the same 3 bland answers. It's like talking to my Dad. Ugh... I sometimes feel I'm just better off alone in the world & wonder if that's the path I should take.
Beware of those who try to bring about anger in you for manipulative reasons. When you get angry you don't pay attention to your own needs and interests. Stop buying into triggers. Be the best person you can.
This is why parents should not punish their kids for showing negative emotions. I am never out of my room when I feel angry, sad, stressed etc. My mom always gets mad at me any time I am not acting happy. I am so incredibly bad at dealing with my emotions because of it and I feel every emotion way stronger than what is normal. I feel kind of traumatized. I was diagnosed with autism but I don't know what else would be causing this other than the way I was raised. My mom is great at literally anything else but when it comes to dealing with my emotions, she does everything wrong.
This topic may be too narrow but I was thinking I'd like medical trauma to be explored more.. I feel like its a grey area which isn't really spoken about.. (and it is something that has affected me)
I was angry at my meddling in-laws for the longest time and it affected me by raising my blood pressure dangerously. Unfortunately, they live in my home, so I can’t escape them, nor their nasty daughters who visit and take over the place, but I have decided to put my health first. I allowed them in my home, though I was duped, I still could have said no, so I take responsibility for my own actions. I have learned to stand up for myself as much as I can, and walk away when able. I had to do special exercises to lower my high blood pressure and stop myself when I felt my blood start to boil at some transgression. Let it go.
A question: I use my anger for years now as fuel when I'm depressed or powerless, and when I have the feeling I can't cope with it. For various reasons I have an infinite source of anger within me, which I let out in moments when I'm desperate. Would that also be ''poisonous''? Bc it helped me a lot through the years
I feel angry all the time, even the simplest things can get irritating. I have been taken advantage of which resulted me in hating myself and sometimes bottling up my emotions (sometimes means that I tend to talk about it with everyone 😅). I want to forgive and forget all that bad things that had happened to me, so I could be in peace. Is there any advice I can get?
Visualize a nice future, think about how short period of time the people who took advantage of you occupied in your life. Think and look ahead. You have the chance of having an advantage in most life situations about to come with these bad experiences.. So live well!
I think there are a lot of us in the same boat. We're tired of turning the other cheek and having our forgiveness turned into a weakness. I tell you, there are a LOT of people who are lucky I'm law-abiding. That used to be a point of pride for me, but now it's one of the things I hate the most about myself. I feel like a pushover.
I have a problem controlling my anger, everytime I'm angry, i will hold it because I don't want to cause trouble 🙁, but everytime i hold my anger, my throat always hurts, can anyone explain 🤕
@Matt Ceretto oh wow, maybe you're right, everytime I'm mad, my throat always hurts, taking a fresh bath is all i needed, and, do you know if this can cause any harm to our health?
@Matt Ceretto sorry for late response, i just asked my mom about it, and she said it does harm our body. I'm doing a research and this is what i found about what it can cause. A cancer of the thyroid, the butterfly-shaped gland at the base of the neck. The cause of thyroid cancer is poorly understood, but may involve a combination of genetic and environmental factors.
It’s hard to let go of anger when constantly people take advantage of you because you’re kind, or neglect you, or never even give twice the effort that you give.... how can I let go of that anger and rage when it keeps happening over and over?
Im still trying to figure that out. It gets really annoying being told to stop being angry. It just makes my emotions feel invalidated. I have not been treated kindly or well in my life and while i try not to let my anger rule me; you cant expect people to just let somethings go or forgive even if youre forgiving for your own sake. It just feels inadequate and like what ive beem through doesnt matter
Aaaah I’ve never thought other people went through this. I’m very chill and quiet, I barely ever say tnyhing when anyone has done anything to me, not expressing my emotions and making me depressed. This video was great, thanks
Ok, but the video doesn't say much about how to healthy express one's anger. Via words? How, exactly? How many alternatives are there for healthy expressing anger? Same for sadness, shame...
Quick way : Set a timer for 5minutes to yell, bitch, moan and complain. Once the timer runs out, take a deep breath and say “can’t change it!!” Let it go
Another thing that I do if it can help someone out there : write a letter to the person that made me angry so that I express my anger. I don't send it it's just to let it out. I take some time to meditate or to listen to music just thinking about something else. Then when I'm calm I analyse what I wrote. Why am I angry? What boundaries did the other cross? Am I frustrated sad or hurt and why? Try to have empathy and understand that everyone has its own story and forgive the person if you can. Talk it out with some friends and move on.
it's one of many story that happened to me with anger but once there was this girl that REALLy pissed me off. I was yelling at her to stop but she just laughed, she said 'so what are you gonna do, slap me ?'' and i slapped her. What i was saying didn't make sense, really. (she asked ''are you serious ??'' i said ''NO'' of course i'm serious, i was just furious lol) when i'm angry i generally don't hold it in at all and i'm angry everytime, so a lot of people say i'm impulsive (indeed), idk if it's a good way to cope with it but at least i fee okay after it.
I have a lot anger whenever someone offends me on purpose and Sometimes they take it too far and when I cry I wasnt actually sad I was flaming mad and when I try to calm down I just cry Or tear up now I dont have anger anymore and when I do get mad I just scream in my pillow or just listen to relaxing music or watching my favorite singer because they calm me down everytime
Tbh, i dont ever show my emotions properly (mainly sadness and anger), i didn't think much about it till now but, i think it's my mom's fault, my emotions have been invalidated by her as a child, and when i cry or when i am angry, she tells me to stop. This is also why sensitive asf and cry when i get angry. And i feel like i will explode at any time so i have to be controling myself all the time.
You are not alone here. I too cry when angry. It's mainly because when you are angry you express all your emotions and if you are very much annoyed or embrassed you end up crying. It's normal with everyone, no need to worry 😊
We reuploaded this video from Psych2Go Education, our second channel dedicated to the advice & solution side of psych2go. If you're interested in supporting our work, don't forget to subscribe or share it.
Help us reach 25K SUBS: czcams.com/channels/Hl2NWvXxd8KcNP1lmc5OuQ.html
Psych2Go should make a discord server, I would love to be a mod-
❤❤❤❤❤😓
I have a question..so my mom supposedly calls me “broken” as joke. But it hurts. Is this something I should tell her to stop doing? Or do I just leave it and ignore it?
@@weakattheknees. please tell her to stop, if she is invalidating your feelings, that's some crappy parenting, no offense, talk to her about how you feel
Early
You're not forgiving people who hurt you because they deserve forgiveness. You're forgiving them because you deserve the peace of mind.
wow things like these i do unconsciously? damn the human mind is weird
This will help
nah. thats how you get fucked over no thanks.
@@Meleeman011 I get what you're saying but forgiving people who hurt you doesn't mean you have to trust them again. It's for you and your own happiness 🤗🤗
That makes no sense to me.
Video: Holding onto Anger is like Drinking Poison
*Keep anger for 10 years*
Me: *Still alive*
Are you immune by now?
Immune
Same here.. I hate my mom since I was 3 and now I am 17 yet I am still living although I agreed keeping it in cause numbness based on my own emotion
@@Psych2go Most likely. Also great video! I love listening to all your videos.
what were u angry at for so long?
Recently my therapist told me that I may be holding anger on people who hurt me in the past and I can't move on from that and idk how to move on from that no matter how aware I am of these negative thoughts and feelings
maybe tell your therapist how do I move on from this anger
what the fjuck are uou doihg here
@Robin mozilla are you from 2016
@Robin mozilla the irony
@Robin mozilla what
Me, who gets angry at my brother every 5 minutes: *no poison shall end my mortality*
Well same
you already got immune to it lol
That's different bro. We are talking angry caused by trauma or betrayal
n o p o i s o n
pls same, i'd feel guilty after getting mad at him but then proceeds to get mad at him a few minutes later 😟
my grandpa used to always say "never let the sun set on your anger" and that one quote has helped me so much throughout my life.
I wish i had a good grandfather😶
What does that mean?
@@filmfilms9579 It means that you should never sleep when you are angry at someone. Solve the issue with the person before you are going to sleep.
@@Svenny21 very true but what if that person just gives silent treatment? And literally says i dont understand what you mean. I dont want to talk about it. I dont understand that logic.
@@whyareyouexisting7285 well then I wouldn't waste my time with them. 😕 but that's just what I'd do
Sometimes i feel anger randomly and it's making me think about it.
Ayo same
Repressed memories?
Same :")
Like I get angry at the stupidest of things I swear 🖐️😭
@@izzibizzi I literally got angry because the wifi was slow what 😭
@@ryokuu6231 HRSHGSHW I FELT THAT PLS 😭
I feel like this is exactly for me. I've been getting so mad even at little things, and it's like I've had my villain origin story after quarantine started lmao
You know what? It's normal. Deep inside of every people they had this essence of madness and anger, but because of society they disown it, hide it, bury it very deep
Same here I wish I went to the old me
Don't forgive them for them. Forgive them for you, and those you love, because they don't want you to be sad. Care for yourself and drink no poison
I do care for myself. The problem is all the individuals, groups, and systems, that go out of their way to steal resources & happiness from me, when I just want to be left alone.
And somehow I'm wrong, cutting them out of my life, evading them, disfiguring, or killing them in defense of self & property.
One major thing I have learned on my own, is to beware of those who are offended by, who have a problem with, you being strong, independent, and living happily-ever-after without them.
This includes cops & zealots.
"Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself." It's not for the other person's mental health - it's for your own. Then you get to decide how much to trust that person going forward.
I concur. People can word-glue forgiveness and trust however they like, but there's great power from knowing forgiveness and trust as completely separate concepts. We're all entitled to forgiveness, but trust is earned.
I think this really depends on the situation. If they continue to hurt you, can't be reasoned with, cross your boundaries and don't take responsibility for their actions, and if it's someone you have to see on a regular basis because of family or work, forgiving them can lead to resentment of both them and yourself. Them, because they don't realise how many times you've had to forgive them already, how much you've had to deal with from them and how much they're STILL hurting you, and yourself because you'll feel worthless having to always put up with their crappy behaviour. Forgive yourself for feeling angry! It's alright, it's a human response! If you're angry, you're angry. Find out why you're angry and sort it out, don't label it as a negative emotion and suppress it. Emotions aren't wrong or bad, they're trying to tell you something. I've had to be the "bigger" person ever since I was a kid, because my brothers and my parents couldn't. I've distanced myself from them and they're all lashing out now, because I'm supposed to be the kind and forgiving daughter. A dysfunctional relation will have a dysfunctional system, but it WILL have a system. Don't become part of the system, don't become a martyr and accept crappy behaviour because it's the nice thing to do or because it's demanded or expected. Don't let others police your emotions or tell you how to feel.
I always compress all my feelings, such as anger, and i’m really tired of everything at this point.
- ive actually came a long way with my anger, i used to be so angry but ive learned to relax and try to be more understanding. yes, i was always an understanding person but i never sat and understood. now i sit and understand, regardless of how the other person sees it.
Yes I also do the same!!!!
I understood that Mental peace is much more important than anybody's shitty behaviour
Please tell me more. Would love to learn that😅
@@stewiegriffin7581 - absolutely!
@@danieller9778 - Controlling your anger will never come easy. itll will be moments where you slip and find yourself getting angry over something small but that’s okay. understand that a lot of time, effort, and patience will come with it but i promise you, you’ll get through it. don’t be so hard on yourself, be patient.
@@tokyoslu.r thank you Valentina 🙌
The art is so cute 👌😩
Do you like Vanessa's art? :)
And the voice over is so calming.
@@Psych2go Yess it's amazing! Thanks for the video as well 💞
@@Psych2go ye I like it too it’s amazing
I remember being such an angry person when I was younger. I didn't know why. I felt like I was being treated like a monster and the people who bullied me got away with it because they knew I couldn't fight back. They turned everyone against me and I wanted them to burn, to suffer and for them to die for what they did. Now I know why I was so volatile back then. My own parents left me to suffer alone. When I moved out, I wanted to not only burn the bridge with them, but to burn anything attached to that damn bridge. Though now I just live in spite of what they have done to me.
Hi, I know we don't know each other personally but I'm sorry for what you had to go through, man, that can be a very triggering experience for anyone to go through
Same i was bullied, one of the only white kids at an all mexican school so ya know. When i come home i get yelled at and insulted by my step father, beaten. And my mother just told me to listen to him thats what pissed me off. And now since i couldnt express my anger, my emotions then i carry that anger with me now and get mad at everyone and everything even if its just a normal question someones asking me i snap at them and we end up fighting.
I went through the exact same thing and I’m looking for a forgiveness journey to start, not for them but for me. I hope you’re doing much better now
@@HunterAllen-jb7hlme too :/ it was a lot worse before where I couldn’t even see that I was overreacting to their general question. It deeply keeps you isolated, I hope you recover and thrive
Honestly wasn't even paying attention to the stuff on screen, man is your voice so soft and relaxing
i guess it's like minecraft poison, it can deplete your health down to half a heart but you're still alive so you think you're fine but one blow and you're out.
I mean you are not wrong. But wait until you get damage potions thrown at you while poisoned. In other words wait until your anger gets fueled by a bad day.
Heh.. Exploding creepers are just other players that drank the poison and some nitroglycerin... 😀
Y'all speaking the language of gods
@@tablett4747 this is why i hate minecraft witches and i also hate bad days ahaha
This is a fucking great analogy take my like
Autism meltdowns are caused by being overwhelmed easily by keeping up speaking, speed of everyone, loud noises and a lot of times a combination of both
It’s so hard to cope- whoever is right now- 🥰😞 i wish you calm
Hm, when they talked about harmful beliefs like that "Anger is a bad emotion," and "No one likes angry people," that really hit me hard because those are things I genuinely believe and tell myself, more or less... Once again, after telling me I'm bottling things up, the video leaves me wondering how to cope with anger in a healthy way. I've only seen this issue discussed to the extent that they do here; just as far as "Don't hold on to anger, don't bottle up emotions, etc." That's great, but what next? How does someone who struggles with this stop doing it wrong? If Psych2Go had less signs that you're doing badly and more tips on how to do well, I think that would help. < 3
There is a Buddhist proverb related to this, something like "Holding onto anger is like holding onto a burning coal." Meaning you're on guard and more likely to throw it at someone else (probably not the original person who caused the pain), and it is only burning you the longer you hold onto it!
Beautifully explains my person's in mind issues. She doesn't hold back with spreading her anger but refuses to drop that piece of coal, not realising she's firing it up while constantly being hurt by the heat.
Even stranger as she's natively Buddhist.
Nice analogy.....
What causes my anger are three main things: Depression, learning disorder, and existential loneliness.
Me with teenage depression and severe anxiety - Yes these causes my anger
If you know what causes your anger work on it. Use it as a positive that you know why. Don’t just leave it there as an excuse to be angry. You’ll loose friends, jobs, money over dis stuff plz
I'm actually reeeeeeaaaally good at suppressing my emotions. It's gotten really bad and I know I'm hurting my own health, physically and mentally, but it often feels like letting these emotions out will lead to something worse than the pain I go through holding it in...
Psych2go is literally just like the angel that no one knew that we wanted or deserved sometimes that's how I view them as but I and I'm sure many others are always so dang grateful to have them around nonetheless.
When someone close to me insults me or hurts me, I instantly start crying, like literally, because before anger, I feel disappointment and later I feel angry. But I honestly don't like that my tear glands are always so damn active. Though I don't think crying is a sign or weakness, it somehow bothers me when I do so in front of the person who hurts me.
@Matt Ceretto though I did say so, I think in my heart I believe that it is 🙂😩 But I wear my heart on my sleeves all the time so it's almost impossible for me to not show my emotions
People can't understand our tears and sadness so how can we cry in front of them. Try hard but stopping my tears are the most difficult thing for me. I am having the same problem again and again.
@@doIhaveto-xx4ju same I can feel you
Same and I hate it 😡
I have been bullied verbally for it. I hate my school system. They're always like "come to us if your bullied" but they don't actually do anything. And on the rare occasion they do something, it doesn't work because parents can't raise their child right and give punishment when needed. I know if I did something like bully someone, the least extreme punishment would be being grounded for 3 months atleast
@@foughtflea1961 I am so sorry for u hope those bullies get their punishments
this is very true tbh
My mother uses insults to punish me
When I forget to wash the dishes she says “ I always forget to do that and I am a dirty person”
I know she is with me but she with helping depression as I’m currently working on feeling good about myself and that is the 3rd day I’m doing it.
I don’t wanna lose the streak.
You’re right about how holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting others to get harmed, I’ve held it in for at least 7 years at this point, it’s caused me a whole list of problems that I’ve been struggling with such as addictions, anger issues, depression, self loathing, etc, it hurt my life in many ways and now that I can see that holding onto anger is bad, I want to be able to process it in a healthy manner now instead of risking myself taking it out on someone else in a violent manner
Had this feeling a lot ,I just ignored those you angered me
This video hit the nail on the head, I was never allowed to be angry as a child do to my parents religious extremism. To make a long story short, I dealt with my anger through alcohol, and black magick. I'd use demons to take revenge on not only my previous family, but anyone who did me wrong. Through rituals, spells, and curses with the demonic use anger, hate, rage, envy, and jealousy. Oh yes, it works, and is far superior to anything else you could possibly do.
Always forgive but never forget, learn from mistakes but never regret periodt
Well for us who have been hurt by every person we trust holding onto anger is the only thing we know
It’s definitely a slow moving poison. We may not realize it’s influencing your actions but it does. The way I realized I used to hold anger before was when I looked back at some posts I used to make on social media and videos from my friends. It was kind of a shock to me cause it was like seeing an alter ego. I had become bitter and resentful. When I realized that I had become someone I didn’t really like I started to look deep at why those things bothered me and why it meant so much to me and that exercise really helped. It’s good to take time to think and meditate even more so now in these stressful times. And even better to get professional help if you can.
Btw, the mom animation reminded me of “La Chancla”. Old school Latina moms are known for that powerful disciplinary move Lol... Luckily my mom only used that twice on me, that I can remember, and it was totally justified hahaha
Woah never clicked this fast in my life, I'm going through this n i feel like shit. I'm scared of myself, i don't know what i can do to person when when I'm slightly angry, I've been holding it in for yrs, it's very dangerous now
Not forgiving people is like drinking poison and expecting them to die.
"They haven't earned my forgiveness" Is just an excuse to be rude and have an attitude while feeling justified.
When I get angry... I really do tend to try to suppress it. Hide it behind a false smile and try to make sure others can't tell that Im upset. Everyone can tell. I've been told by many close friends. But I don't feel like I can confront the people who have upset me (usually someone close) in that moment because something is going on and I don't want to ruin: a night out with friends, an expensive dinner, a small get together, etc. For the most part it's only by people who I care about/for who have done or allowed something to happen that hurt my emotions without them realizing it. And I've come to recognize that they can't read my mind so I need to speak up but it's hard to do. I only recently figured that last part out so I'll need some practice but I'm going to try to approach someone who has hurt me in a calm manner and tell them why what they did hurt or crossed my boundary and try to communicate me feelings more effectively.
Thank you for this video! I was rlly mad ang sad at the same time today and your voice and the animation rlly calmed me down. Thank you!
You're so welcome! Did you find this video helpful?
@@Psych2go yes! I found this video really helpful! I tend to get angry easily and this really helped!
True EXCEPT when after a long life, you suddenly find yourself labeled “elderly” and get stuck in a situation -such as a nursing home- where you actually have plenty to be angry about but for the first time in your life, you are powerless to do anything about it. THEN how do you manage anger? No practice. . .
If I get to that point, it is time for me die. Already picked out a method.
My grandma simply prays like she is really religios, but in a good non bigot way. She does gardening and I help the garden is her happy place
So, there's quite a difference between anger and hate yes ? I feel like those two emotions make us do very different things.
@@thecommenter2711 I see. There was a time in my life where holding on to hate helped me get through things, but now it's more of a nuisance than anything and I can't get rid of it.
@@thecommenter2711 or also when you can find nothing to be grateful of because you have nothing you enjoy because of depression
Hatred is the focused application of the emotion of anger; it represents much more a decision, or direction for the anger. Also, when anger is (typically) rooted in fear, hatred is a choice to stay stuck in that negative place. Hatred is really drinking the poison!
A great tool for dealing with repressed anger is writing an unsent letter. Just open up a Microsoft word doc and pretend you’re writing a letter to the person who wronged you telling them exactly what you think, but after you’re done, don’t send it, just delete it. This way you can totally let it rip, be uncensored about it, and get it all out of your system, without having to actually hurt anyones feelings or make yourself look bad
I need to talk about my anger
I still pretty young, but I'm a really REALLY stressed person.
Almost anything can make me stressed, even things I like to do.
I already suffered from the consequeces of my anger, and these can be bruises (I hurt myself when I get angry), sadness, unmotivation and bad thoughts.
I wanted to hear (read) what you guys have say about this
Honestly I Dont Know what to say your like me I’m young stressed and getting bruises by hitting my self and I don’t have the guts to tell anyone I need a therapist that’s why I’m on CZcams and here on this video just have a good day wish you luck with your life
@@Ssm12212 Thank you very much Sultan, I wish the same for you
this is perfect timing because I was really pissed off today
Can you maybe do, “Reasons you might need to fix your relationship with someone.”
Sure! That's a good topic. What sort of things are you thinking needs fixing in the aspect of relationship?
Let’s say you might be now distant with a friend or family member that you were very close to a while ago. The communication is broken that can lead to a bad relationship we’re you don’t talk at all. Also let’s say your fighting with one of your closest friends and you’ve gotten to the point of thinking of ending the relationship, you might need to talk to that person to fix that bond together.
Also if they say toxic things to you and you believe they are good on the inside and you want to fix the situation
I don't like getting angry at people... It makes em sad!
aww
And what if they made you sad?
Same 😭🥺💜
@@infiresman4975 your yt channel was made on my birthday!!
@@whyareyouexisting7285 what a coincidence 😁🥰😘😘💜
I've been betrayed so many times that I'm now tired of even reacting like crying or getting angry.
Its still okay.....i mean .....there are people who still luv and trust you💜💜
We'll get better 💜
Same. Thats why i dont, and always try to make jokes even when im really not happy. It comes more naturally nowadays. And now its even scarier, because even though i suck at hiding my emotions, i naturally joke around my friends as if i dont feel sad. But im not really happy when im making fun of myself, and others.
Just know, there will be someone who understands you. I will understand you if no one does.
I've just lost my trust in humanity. Wherever I go, people judge and hate on me before getting to know me
@@p.v7098 I am so sorry for u I hope u don't get betrayed and find someone who cares for u . You have my support 😁
But the anger I get from hating someone is counterbalanced by the joy I get imagining my revenge.
Revenge I never act upon, but still.
This is reaallyy mee😵
I deal with my anger by crying out alone in room or punching a pillow. Crying helps me pour out all my sad emotions n anger.
I hope I can express it out & sometime hard to let go of anger & sadness feeling
Yo what a good timing cuz im rlly mad now.
I can understand a lot within this video admittedly, as someone who has had nearly all of these negative experiences happen to them, themselves. Suppressing anger is always idolized but really we need every single one of our emotions and suppressing it can lead to so much pain and suffering. I do hope others struggling with this can battle through, this isn't an easy thing to overcome at all.
Holding on to anger is dangerous; but I have no choice. Whenever I express my feelings either to parents or peers I'm always misunderstood so I'd rather hold it in until it boils over because people don't understand
When I’m mad.. I’m mad and I take the consequences of my anger… I don’t want to be that way anymore.. but when someone makes me mad it’s for a reason..
Yeah, I have a very bad temper and i'm moody too 🥺 🙄
I held onto my anger for 22 years. I'm doing better now that I have let go of it. Sometimes the niceness that you show to others comes at the expense of your own happiness and well-being. Sometimes being nice gets to the point where others start to take advantage of your kindness and use your good nature against you.
I’ve been holding anger for 6 years 😀
I had hold it for 15 years...
Me too...
I really needed this video, I've been dealing with intense migranes following me with my ongoing frustration at my father. It's been affecting my life terrible years and I've been contemplating self-harm(it doesn't help that there are scissors everywhere in my house) I don't really know what to do nowadays but maybe I can concentrate and understand my emotions instead of repressing them and suffering the side affects.
A friendly reminder, sleep is important...
i have the opposite problem i forget why i'm mad at them. so i constantly remind myself why i'm mad at them and never forgive and never forget, and i'm just fine, no backaches, no fatigue, no migranes. but uh im a firm believer of holding onto anger. since i err so far on the people taking advantage of me side.
I hate getting angry it doesn’t happen as much anymore but I always got really mad when lost at sports games and even bad grades
When I was younger, my peers loved getting the best of me and as a result got anger issues. The slightest poke would cause me to explode. Now that I'm older, I'm learning to deal with it, though I have some suppressed anger from years ago.
I have actually killed my anger using stoicism
I try to understand where this actually comes from and understand why
It really helps
@Agent Of Chaos 666 im indian we invented 0 :p
@Agent Of Chaos 666 haaaaaa i just screamed and cried but it wasnt anger it wasnt even frustration for me it was just action because i felt like i could have no impact on anything else in my life
@Agent Of Chaos 666 your mind is the only thing you can control. I hope you and i both can one day come to control it! TT
@Agent Of Chaos 666 ?? 0 was discovered in india way before british were even civilised ☺
I always control my anger by taking a deep breath 👍
I don't know. But my symptoms say that I have severe depression.
I am such a angry person. I get angry so very much easily and really don't know how to deal with it. The situation is getting worse day by day.
I love the way the emotions were portrayed they were so cute
I needed to hear this, I’ve recently had a issue with a woman I liked who took advantage of my fear of abandonment to constantly ghost me on dates and avoid contact with me for days and act like nothing was wrong, needless to say it broke me and I couldn’t get out of my own head. Still trying to figure out why I feel this way and why I aloud myself to fall in love with such a psychopath
I absolutely love that you referred back to how a child throwing a tantrum gets dealt with. Too often, a child gets yelled at or a whoopin for a tantrum. It just shows the importance of learning how to deal with emotions but also taking the time to understand children when they feel the need to throw a tantrum so you can teach them how to deal with it in a more constructive way. The child throwing a tantrum part was deep. Thank you for that.
Love you channel ❤️❤️❤️🥰
Sigh... This is me. I feel angry about a lot of things & 1 of 2 results always happen: Deny it to someone who notices & fake being happy/fine, or express my emotions & why, but then get laughed at for it.
In addition this applies to my split with my soulmate. I try to express my feelings about how I feel about anything, & I get the same 3 bland answers. It's like talking to my Dad. Ugh...
I sometimes feel I'm just better off alone in the world & wonder if that's the path I should take.
Perfect video
2:17 YO THEY JUST YEETED THAT FLIPFLOP
Beware of those who try to bring about anger in you for manipulative reasons. When you get angry you don't pay attention to your own needs and interests. Stop buying into triggers. Be the best person you can.
This is why parents should not punish their kids for showing negative emotions. I am never out of my room when I feel angry, sad, stressed etc. My mom always gets mad at me any time I am not acting happy. I am so incredibly bad at dealing with my emotions because of it and I feel every emotion way stronger than what is normal. I feel kind of traumatized. I was diagnosed with autism but I don't know what else would be causing this other than the way I was raised. My mom is great at literally anything else but when it comes to dealing with my emotions, she does everything wrong.
This topic may be too narrow but I was thinking I'd like medical trauma to be explored more.. I feel like its a grey area which isn't really spoken about.. (and it is something that has affected me)
I was angry at my meddling in-laws for the longest time and it affected me by raising my blood pressure dangerously. Unfortunately, they live in my home, so I can’t escape them, nor their nasty daughters who visit and take over the place, but I have decided to put my health first. I allowed them in my home, though I was duped, I still could have said no, so I take responsibility for my own actions. I have learned to stand up for myself as much as I can, and walk away when able. I had to do special exercises to lower my high blood pressure and stop myself when I felt my blood start to boil at some transgression. Let it go.
A question: I use my anger for years now as fuel when I'm depressed or powerless, and when I have the feeling I can't cope with it. For various reasons I have an infinite source of anger within me, which I let out in moments when I'm desperate. Would that also be ''poisonous''? Bc it helped me a lot through the years
It’s not poison at all just everyone thinks it’s poison but truly it’s power
Facts stated in the video is true to it's best.
I feel angry all the time, even the simplest things can get irritating. I have been taken advantage of which resulted me in hating myself and sometimes bottling up my emotions (sometimes means that I tend to talk about it with everyone 😅). I want to forgive and forget all that bad things that had happened to me, so I could be in peace. Is there any advice I can get?
Thanks
Visualize a nice future, think about how short period of time the people who took advantage of you occupied in your life. Think and look ahead. You have the chance of having an advantage in most life situations about to come with these bad experiences.. So live well!
Thank you so much both of you
I have never let anything go i forget about it i think of it again and that rage comes back
👌👌👌
I expressed my emotions by writing
I feel like if I punch the person that has caused all my mental health issues, in the face. I will suddenly feel a sense of relief 😅
I think there are a lot of us in the same boat. We're tired of turning the other cheek and having our forgiveness turned into a weakness.
I tell you, there are a LOT of people who are lucky I'm law-abiding. That used to be a point of pride for me, but now it's one of the things I hate the most about myself. I feel like a pushover.
Anger punishes, really punishes the persons who react to others with anger !! it's up to them to avoid suffering!!
I have a problem controlling my anger, everytime I'm angry, i will hold it because I don't want to cause trouble 🙁, but everytime i hold my anger, my throat always hurts, can anyone explain 🤕
@Matt Ceretto oh wow, maybe you're right, everytime I'm mad, my throat always hurts, taking a fresh bath is all i needed, and, do you know if this can cause any harm to our health?
@Matt Ceretto sorry for late response, i just asked my mom about it, and she said it does harm our body.
I'm doing a research and this is what i found about what it can cause.
A cancer of the thyroid, the butterfly-shaped gland at the base of the neck.
The cause of thyroid cancer is poorly understood, but may involve a combination of genetic and environmental factors.
me too, I also hold my anger inside my heart & everyday I drinking a poison
It’s hard to let go of anger when constantly people take advantage of you because you’re kind, or neglect you, or never even give twice the effort that you give.... how can I let go of that anger and rage when it keeps happening over and over?
What should I do when the child asks for something and i am unable to give it to him and he starts yelling for it?
I suggest to try to calm him down but if he doesn't stop, just let him cry for a while and he will stop eventually and learn :)
If he doesn't understands ignore him 😒 if you don't have anything to give him it's not your fault 🤷♀️
Don't give a child whatever always when he expect it. Otherwise he will to learn and believe he can get whatever he want when he want and become rude.
I hate when things goes bad ,when i forget something before leaving the house m,when i messed up I get pissed off at myself
How am i supposed not to get angry or losing trust or hate humanity when everyone treated me unfairly and not nice to me at work and school?
Im still trying to figure that out. It gets really annoying being told to stop being angry. It just makes my emotions feel invalidated. I have not been treated kindly or well in my life and while i try not to let my anger rule me; you cant expect people to just let somethings go or forgive even if youre forgiving for your own sake. It just feels inadequate and like what ive beem through doesnt matter
Aaaah I’ve never thought other people went through this. I’m very chill and quiet, I barely ever say tnyhing when anyone has done anything to me, not expressing my emotions and making me depressed. This video was great, thanks
Ok, but the video doesn't say much about how to healthy express one's anger. Via words? How, exactly? How many alternatives are there for healthy expressing anger?
Same for sadness, shame...
Quick way : Set a timer for 5minutes to yell, bitch, moan and complain. Once the timer runs out, take a deep breath and say “can’t change it!!” Let it go
Another thing that I do if it can help someone out there : write a letter to the person that made me angry so that I express my anger. I don't send it it's just to let it out. I take some time to meditate or to listen to music just thinking about something else. Then when I'm calm I analyse what I wrote. Why am I angry? What boundaries did the other cross? Am I frustrated sad or hurt and why? Try to have empathy and understand that everyone has its own story and forgive the person if you can. Talk it out with some friends and move on.
it's one of many story that happened to me with anger but once there was this girl that REALLy pissed me off. I was yelling at her to stop but she just laughed, she said 'so what are you gonna do, slap me ?'' and i slapped her. What i was saying didn't make sense, really. (she asked ''are you serious ??'' i said ''NO'' of course i'm serious, i was just furious lol) when i'm angry i generally don't hold it in at all and i'm angry everytime, so a lot of people say i'm impulsive (indeed), idk if it's a good way to cope with it but at least i fee okay after it.
It's okay to be angry, but then after you feel it, just let it go.. Dont hold on to anger or attach to this emotion. Just feel then let go.
People have always taken advantage of me, I'm NOT going to let them do that to me anymore !!!!
😞😞❤
I have a lot anger whenever someone offends me on purpose and Sometimes they take it too far and when I cry I wasnt actually sad I was flaming mad and when I try to calm down I just cry Or tear up now I dont have anger anymore and when I do get mad I just scream in my pillow or just listen to relaxing music or watching my favorite singer because they calm me down everytime
First from Ghana
you're the 4th comment :D
No I was first!
@@saramakert nah buddy you're not
Hahahaha...
Ooo Ghana I am not from Ghana 😅
Tbh, i dont ever show my emotions properly (mainly sadness and anger), i didn't think much about it till now but, i think it's my mom's fault, my emotions have been invalidated by her as a child, and when i cry or when i am angry, she tells me to stop.
This is also why sensitive asf and cry when i get angry.
And i feel like i will explode at any time so i have to be controling myself all the time.
"nobody likes angry people"?
me over here simping for bakugo, an angry pomeranian
@Jet Lall How dare you!!! Bruh thats literally so mean
@Jet Lall HUMANS ARE MEH!! HAIL DOGGOS
@Jet Lall Its okay, i understand! ^_^
Its really important to speak and stand for yourself if you don't ...people always take advantage of you and you lose your positive energy..
I always cry when im angry , is it normal?
You are not alone here. I too cry when angry. It's mainly because when you are angry you express all your emotions and if you are very much annoyed or embrassed you end up crying. It's normal with everyone, no need to worry 😊
@@mitaandtrishabhowmik1894 thank you so much
Thank you ❤🌹🙏 so so so so much, I have severe anger issues. Direly need more and more information and solutions for my anger problem's