Shouting is not talking

Proverbs 14:29 KJV
He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.
Assumption is the greatest enemy of relationship. In most cases, assumptions are lies planted in our heads by the enemy. Assumptions are usually negative and force one to create a wall of defence around himself. This wall of defence will keep him from attaining knowledge. These negative thoughts are designed to kindle wrath (uncontrolled anger). The things you say or do under the influence of wrath are things you will live to regret.
Wrath will make you look like you are mentally impaired and unable to make wise choices. You need grace to be able to control your emotions. It's not every feeling you have that is legitimate or valid. Because you feel like your spouse is cheating on you it doesn't mean they are. Because you feel like your partner doesn't love you doesn't mean it's true. Because you feel like nobody likes you, it doesn't mean that nobody likes you. The enemy of your soul comes to steal, kill and destroy. This he does by magnifying negative emotions in your life.
Uncontrolled anger will make you to be a person of poor understanding. You find yourself shouting and becoming abusive in your speech may be because you think if you shout the next person will hear you. The sad news is no they won't. Shouting is not talking, being abusive is not COMMUNICATING. How do you feel when someone shouts at you? Is it a pleasant feeling? Do you call your friends and family in excitement? Saying guys, you will never believe what happened to me today it was so beautiful. I love it when YOU shout at me.
No! Nobody loves to be shouted at. As a matter of fact it feels like you are not loved and appreciated. It's a traumatic feeling causing one to be ineffective in his or her dealings. Avoid shouting at all cost as it's not a pleasant experience for the one you are shouting at. You are pushing the person away, and yet you love them. Look for something pleasant and magnify it, find a reason to praise and bless your partner.
We are from different cultures and traditions. We have from different backgrounds. This means that as we have different backgrounds therefore the way we view life is different. I might do something that is culturally disrespectful in your culture but could be the highest display of respect in my culture. Doing that particular thing could be a very big sacrifice to me, but because you don't understand my culture, you will not appreciate my gesture of love. It will come to you as offensive and very disrespectful, but that wasn't my intention. Hurting you was not something deliberate. Shouting at me is not going to solve our problem.
Let's consult with the next person to get a clear picture of what's going on before running to our conclusion. Let's be slow to wrath and pursue understanding. Verbal communication involves talking and like I said earlier, shouting is not talking. Take control of your emotion. Don't allow the enemy of your soul to have a field trip in your head. Love believes all things. Choose to believe what your loved ones tell you as truth and not your feelings. Seek clarity from the next person, and tell yourself that you are not always right.
Don't be the one to win an argument. What's the point of winning an argument BUT losing a relationship. It is better to lose an argument but still have your friends and relatives. If you are on the phone and the network is bad, shouting is not going to solve the problem. If you are talking to a person who speaks and understands a different language from the one you are speaking, shouting is not going to make them understand. Uncontrolled anger expressed in shouting will not solve your problem rather it aggravates or worsens it making it harder to resolve the actual challenge. Shouting on its own is a barrier. So it will divert focus.
Pray
- that you might be slow to wrath and be a person of understanding.
- that you may seek clarity and understanding.
- that you will not run with what you think is true.
- that your life will not be governed by emotions but that you will know the truth.
- that you will not be focused on trying to win an argument but save a relationship.