Rest of story So It just looked like they’d maintained. Nobody said thanks to me for cleaning .) I sound so ungrateful. I have a good life. but when I look down the road at the next 16 years of parenting my toddler, I’m not excited , I’m exhausted and dreading it. So I feel like an awful mom today and I really don’t like being a mom. And I really don’t like Mother’s Day.
It’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed. I wouldn’t stay with someone who didn’t help me out with all of the kids though…they are his responsibility too and he can help out with cleaning. She needs to ask for a break as well for her mental health.
@@blazingknight1276twice?😂 you want a cookie?😂 the house has to be cleaned everyday and you think twice is anything? He literally lives there, he can clean up after himself instead of leaving food wrappers out and dirty clothes on the closet floor and dirty plates on the table it's called being an adult bro
@@Egh0127 I don't entirely disagree. Unfortunately when you approach Family with the attitude of "you should already know better" and at the same time "fine, do whatever you want"(yes that's the attitudes I get from the post) instead of actually communicating and establishing rules, you are going to get this result. Based on the fact she's used to cleaning, she either hasn't told them to clean, or doesn't enforce it. Based on everything else she's said both are equally likely. "But the husband should know to do better" Common sense isn't common People actually need to talk to each other to know what they want and think. And based on how the relationship is shown in post: I don't think she asks him or anyone for help. He helped unprompted (maybe he thought these things being done would help her relax a bit) and was responded with apathy. So why would he help more if he can't tell if he's helping her or not. She hasn't set rules, doesn't communicate things, and does everything that doesn't get done how she wants herself. Occasional cleaning is all you're going to get with that setup.
@@blazingknight1276he is an Fing adult. (Which I assume you are not one) He’s not doing what he’s supposed to be doing. Incels like you are all about “fairness” until you are expected to be fair in return. Then it’s excuse after excuse. Her “attitude” for example. What about his crappy attitude? If she divorced him he’ll have to clean and cook and caretaker 100% of the time when he has the kids 😂
@@blazingknight1276 In less words than you said, her husband sounds like another child. A grown man needs to be told when and how to clean? Needs standing ovation that he kept the house together for 2 days like she does each one with no appreciation? How isn't that inadequate?
Of course it's her fault! Ofc she needs to do things differently🙄 She should stop doing everything! Go on strike. Provide the basics, take care of the toddler. Everyone else is old enough to figure things out.
@@abellabarbie Right?? I'm sure if she could shove them back into her uterus, she would. If only we could have the hindsight to know how marriage and children are going to work out.....prior to having them.
Yeah first off make her kids walk to places on their own if it’s a reasonable distance take stuff away if they disobey these two things alone would make the kids act better
She definitely needs to change things up. I would recommend telling the kids that if they don’t start helping with chores, then she will stop giving them rides to after school stuff. She can tell the 14 yr old to get a job and pay her for driving them. She should go a little easier on the 12 yr old but maybe get them to help take care of the toddler. As for the husband, I would recommend talking to him about the lack of balance in household duties. The mother could hire a babysitter/nanny to help with chores and taking care of the toddler.
I agree that she needs to expect her older kids to do reasonable contributions to household. But it’s literally against child labor laws in some states for a 14 year old to work, especially if they’re working to contribute to household expenses. Also, parentification is NOT a healthy solution with the 12 year old, that’s how they get trauma. She needs to have a come-to-Jesus conversation with her husband so that they’re a unified front with the kids. Divide up the household labor as evenly as possible. Also, research regulation techniques so the little one learns to do that INSTEAD of devolving to hitting.
Eww god no. Both kids could help with chores and need to fix their bad attitude but the 12 year old does NOT need to help take care of the kid the parents made. That's not the 12 year olds fault, that's the parents fault for not keeping their legs closed.
@@karinagutierrez7134 "parentification" is when the children are parenting each other bc the parents are neglectful or irresponsible. Asking the 12 yr old to watch the toddler sometimes in exchange for constant chauffeuring is simply just fair exchange. The 14 yr old can also get a job babysitting. Or mowing lawns. Or selling lemonade. Its feasible for them to earn money somehow and contribute some money to gas funds since they get driven everywhere
@@karinagutierrez7134 14 year olds can legally work at a grocery store in some places. That’s the type of job I’m talking about, and it’s one thing that could help teach the child responsibility. Additionally, I meant that the 12 year old could help with chores involving the toddler and occasionally look after them, although that isn’t the best option. I don’t understand the “come-to-Jesus” part but I agree with the rest.
It’s worth pointing out that people don’t get this way unless you let them. Victim-blaming is never good, but I really feel like she’s letting them walk all over her
If anything it sounds like the dad is barely doing anything and she still works/cleans/takes care of the kids/drives them to places ect. Like i feel like anyone would struggle with all that mostly alone.
Imagine working full time and then coming home to a stay at home wife who expects you to "step up." Yes, parenting is a 50/50 effort. But the sexes compliment each other. The mom needs to grow a backbone and the dad needs to have her back when the older kids inevitably lash out.
@wednesdayschildfullofwoe damn, change up your style. My kids would never disrespect me or their mother like that. And if they did, I'd fix them quick. Parents are not friends.
Just dont take it out on the kids. Im still relearning to ask for things I need cuz I nearly failed school and had put my own life on hold to save my moms time and energy. I love her but hearing her vent about something as small as “being everyone’s taxi” hurt a lot more than one would think. (Sounds petty but when you don’t want to burden your mom its the small things like that that hurts most)
If it hurt it's because it was true... And you should have releaved some of the work. When I was achild and my parents had has days or stressed I wouldnt blame them for being stressed I would help. Most of us didnt have our parents drive us around like taxis. Als, put your life on hold and failing school just for not being driven around? That seems extremme...
@@sofiabruiz17some people complain about anything, even the most basic of things. It’s not on the child to have to take care of their parent, it’s up to the parent and their spouse to take care of each other. My parents were the same way as the original commenters. Saying things like “tired of being everyone’s taxi” for taking my little sisters to school when no one else could take them and there was no bus. Can kids as they get older do things on their own? Yes. Once they get older, they can learn to cook and drive, but until then, it’s not their fault. While you aren’t entirely wrong, your perspective doesn’t include parents who just aren’t good parents.
@@Spooky-Artists0 Ive met plenty of bad parents in my life, since Ive worked with unfortunate kids for many years. So I do completly understand your point of view. Specially when parents have loads of kids and put the pressure of raising them to the oldest. However, it may just be how it came accross, but this didnt sound like one of those situations. I also grew up in a place full of spoiled kids who did treat their parents like taxis. Seeing how that was the example they went for, I couldnt help but think it was probably the latter example. I could ofcouse be wrong. It just felt extremme in my eyes to act so hurt because your parent feels like a taxi and says so, this comments also usually come with lack of appreciation from the kids. Just because your parent has to take care of you, doesnt mean you cant be grateful
I'm thinking the big kids need to spend a summer with their "old school" grandparents and the toddler needs to spend dad-and-me-only weekends. That will free mom to have time to clear her head.
The "old school" grandparents could easily abuse them if they're just left with the kids. It's stupid to expect grandparents to raise you kids for you, not to mention to treat them well if they have a habit of hurting the kids emotionally or physically.
@@alicedodobirb2808 OP called them "old school" and not abusive. Old-school means they'd tell you you are a spoilt brat when you are acting like one without coddling feelings. They need someone to create the boundaries and enforce the law and because OP has been a spineless parent, the grandparents can be just the right cure.
@@mr.poobear99no but society pressures women into having kids. It’s practically impossible to get your tubes tied and people will call women immoral for not wanting children
This is not a result of having kids. She is like this because she has no support from the people around her. It takes a village to raise a child and she doesn't have one.
@@mr.poobear99 In today’s society, women are expected to have kids and a husband and “don’t divorce it doesn’t look good” and “abortion is murder” Basically what I’m saying is that she was most likely pressured into having kids. For better clarification, the commenter is saying not to cave into society’s pushing - in this situation, having children
Somethin tells me they were teaching sexist stuff or the like. There’s some things that you just don’t want your kids picking up as it’ll result in them struggling to fit in and thrive in todays society.
To be fair, 1. She wpuld have to discuss having kids and if the first ones were so draining why wpuld she want more. Or consent to more 2. Children act the way they due from the environment they live in or how they were raised 3. The father needs to do more and or both need to talk about splitting the duties. 4. She REALLY needs a vacation and I hope they can talk to each other
Do you know how difficult it is for women, even women who have children, to get their tubes tied? How expensive birth control is? How it can be easy to get pregnant sometimes? How a lot of women can’t have a fetus removed legally or if it is legal will most likely be socially excluded and even divorced? What about dad, does he have no influence in the environment a kid grows up in? I know you’re on her side, but you’re still blaming her for things that might be out of her control
@@blazingknight1276 how does making sure the house stays clean after mum did all of the work beforehand mean you did something. Maybe they should’ve helped mum in the first place
@@tomanyfandoms1726 Kids do as their taught or as their shaped. Given how they're ALLOWED to object to anything but pasta, safe to say rules aren't set. Don't blame the kid for being a bad kid. The only excuses for bad kids are broken brains (mental disorders) or bad parenting. Acquiescing is bad parenting, and this post REEKS of acquiescing.
@@tomanyfandoms1726 and as for the house staying clean: unless you raise a fucking I pad kid, kids make messes. Not intentionally or maliciously, but messes nonetheless. Who's job is it to teach kids to clean up after themselves?
Talk about how you’d like to see them respond with what you’re doing. Don’t assume they’ll say thanks especially if you’ve done something without them asking, make sure you let them know if they don’t appreciate what you’re doing they can do it themselves. A child at their age can cook and clean after themselves. There seems to be a huge lack of communication, and by the seems of it they don’t deserve your respect and you don’t deserve their because both parties haven’t earned it yet.
Your children are a reflection of you. You did those things to get something in return, not out the kindness of your heart. I don't buy my son things, make days for him special, or love him so he can love me in return. I do them from pure love that needs nothing in return
Yeah, it seems like they're learning from their father. To just expect their mother to do everything. And because the mother doesn't want things to remain undone, she works herself to death. And then that gives them a higher expectation that she's going to do it. How about we don't blame mom for everything. And yes, that's exactly what you were doing.
@@BucckeyTemple No, I don't feel the need to blame abuse victims because they were abused. Victims are never responsible for their abuse. That's just excuse enablers use. Edit because yes abusing your partner emotionally by making them think you're completely incompetent and can't do basic chores around the house and guilting them into doing them for you is a form of emotional abuse.
@@LLandS18then you made up an entire scenario about the husband. The last part of the story, how does she want to be praised but doesn't praise. To say "what is there to love about motherhood" is a bold ass line. She seems like a self absorbed mother.
You so think about it like this too she’s angry and upset right now so she might not actually be noticing what her husband is doing so she doesn’t speak on it either that or the husband is off providing for the household. in which case I saw a comment that said the older kids should spend time with their old school grandparents. That way mom will just have to look after one kid and have a whole Lotta time freed up at least for a little while.
@@mindcraftfulNo that's not it at all. But uh way to make excuses for a lazy man. And blame the woman all in comment. Congratulations. That must be some kind of record. No, I'm going to tell you what's going on and it's the same that's going on in millions of marriages across the Western world. Is Mom is expected to work a full-time job, which by the way, in this story she does. She contributes as much financially to the household as her husband does. But it's still expected to do 92% of the housework. 98% of all the child care. Well the husband what does 8% of the house work and 2% of the child care works the full-time job but expect a pat on the back when he does the bare minimum. No this is weaponized and competence. This is years of wearing his partner down to expect he's going to do nothing but wanting to be celebrated when he does the bare minimum. What this is is emotional abuse. And the kids are smart. They see how their father treats their mother and they think well if Dad treats mom like she's a slave and expected to do everything. I guess I should behaved the same way. It's lurk behavior from their father. But of course, and you're twisted logic where you make an excuse for somebody who's emotionally abusing their wife and gaslighting them really what to point boils down to is your blaming in abuse victim for the fact that they were abused. And yes, Karen, that's exactly what you said. There's no other way to interpret what you said. So only what you said and don't come back at me with. That's not what I said because that's exactly what you said. You're just so indoctrinated by society to think women should just shut up and do everything that you don't even realize when you're doing it yourself.
@@LLandS18 yeah, I’m not reading all that I will say this men go out there and work to earn money for the household. If the wife is really this burnt out of her children, she should give the older ones to the grandparents for a bit and then she’ll just have the baby to focus on they’ll take a load off of her.
@@mindcraftful and I found the story on Reddit so does she? What's your point. If you want to blame someone blame the absentee parent, not the one who's actually involved.
It's touch when kids are those ages. I'm 19 now and my brother's 16. I wasn't as bad as he was but I wasn't good to either of my parents. Granted there are other reasons but all in all I was a regular teenager who wanted to be alone but also wanted to be cared for and it turned into being ungrateful. I see it in my brother now that I've grown out of it and been on my own for college. It's awful and to be frank it may be the worst part of raising kids. The exact same thing with the cleaning the house happened to my family when I was younger and it was probably the most heartbreaking thing as a middle schooler because I wanted that nod of approval from my mom by doing things she didn't ask of me but I still got shit for not doing it correctly. I feel awful for the mom but I also feel awful for the kids bc I relate to the kids more and can compare my experiences with them. They aren't ungrateful but they are learning and trying to grow up.
Bro these sound like normal kids to me 😭 like I get it's hard to be a parent but it really doesn't sound like she was ready at all for the challenges of parenthood
As much as it sucks to hear, your kids dont really appreciate you until they become adults. Thats when the real payoffs come along. Hang in there and continue raising those kids with love and patience. Parenthood is the longest work shift youll ever clock into. But it is the most rewarding ❤
@@orangejuice775appreciate is different from respect you can respect someone because you fear the consequences if u don’t but appreciating is genuine and it is true what he said a lot of the times it takes becoming adult to start appreciating a lot more when u fully start understanding everything while yes you can appreciate even before then it’s not till you grow that you understand it better
Or at least teenagers. Tbh you really start appreciating parents when you understand how much they do for you and you don't see that until you are old enough to understand. I know 14 years is old enough but at that age kids are more self absorbed and focus more on themselves and their friends rather than their parents. Now if some kid appreciates their mother at that age, that's nice but it doesn't really happen unless either you are super close to them or they are 16 or older. Kids mainly love you till 8,9 or 10 and then after 17,18 or older. Between that is just a super annoying and rebellious phase you can say.
Your kids feel entitled because you let them be. They turn their nose up at what you cook because you let them. All I’m hearing is “I sucked as a parent and now I’m suffering for it since they got older”. If I didn’t like what was served I didn’t eat. If I felt and acted entitled to something I got my soul smacked outta me. I was taught manners. No manners? Grounded. Throwing a tantrum? Demanding a toy in the store? Booty smack and grounded. Toys taken away for wanting more than what I had when I didn’t need it. Now as an adult I live within my means. I’m happy. And I spend money wisely and will teach my kids as I’ve been taught. I feel no sympathy for someone crying over their own lack of parenting. I know being a mom doesn’t come with a manual but shit. It’s not hard to teach right from wrong and use common sense with situations. Kids demanding shit. You give in now they demand more later. So no shit now. Seriously. Common sense.
It’s stuff like this why I always tell my mom that I love her and appreciate all that she does. She has been a mother for the past 24 years with 4 of us kids and has bent over backwards to do all that she does for us and I know it has been exhausting for her, it’s better now as I’m the only one left under her roof but she’s both working as a nurse and in nursing school so it’s still exhausting for her. I get that and want to at least show that she is appreciated for all she does. I tell her I love you allot, say thank you for everything she gets for me, because honestly that woman deserves it. I love you mom, thank you, you haven’t been perfect but of all mothers you were a pretty good one ❤
@@Lol-ti3nwif she agreed to let them do after school activities, she agreed to pick them up after too. What the fuck are they supposed to do if she said no? Walk home and get kidnapped?
@@franz.franciscoor ran over, there's more than just kidnapping. They could also get lost! Two young teens walking around lost because their parents didn't want to pick them up for an extracurricular THEY allowed? Cps would be called so fast (and for good reason)
this is the reality for a lot of mothers. you literally lose your sense of identity to become a mom just for your kids to grow up and basically leave you behind once they form a life of their own, the kids aren’t wrong for doing that but it evidently makes motherhood a thankless and tiring job that leaves you feeling lonely and drained in the end, people try to sell you a dream but this is the reality and i won’t be partaking in it
Op really needs to have a sit down with her husband and Kids and talk to them about this. Maybe even see a family counselor/therapist, if that’s a financial possibility.
I’m an only child and a young adult now, but sometimes I wonder if I ever made my Mum or Dad feel this way about me as a teenager. I don’t think I was ungrateful looking back, but I also don’t think I was very good at voicing my thanks. I don’t think I really do enough now either tbh. A good reminder to tell the ones you love ‘thank you’ and ‘I appreciate you’ a bit more often.
Been there. Time to start saying no to many of those after school activities. Your mental health matters more than soccer practice. Shlepping kids up and down is exhausting. Also toddlers grow and they get more independent, but she has to learn to walk away when she’s being hit and stick up for herself.
Husband definitely needs to help out way more. Rn it’s a an easy 80-20 and that needs to go to a 30-70 at a bare minimum and then let it even out. L husband
Context clues. Husbands Parenting Style would probably be similar to his parents, but she doesn't like his parents Parenting Style. She has most likely taken on all the parenting and coddled and Acquiesced to her children thus leading to the entitlement. Dad probably is the breadwinner bc of traditional upbringing as when he does step in, he seems helpful and in control enough to get the "entitled, picky" children to clean up the whole house. In other words, Dad can get the kids to clean but mom can't. Whose actually able to parent the children?
@@blazingknight1276 the why doesn’t change the what. The reality is that the wife is still overworked and under appreciated. A big reason that the kids would listen to the father more is either because he’s not as exhausted and more patient than the wife. He also may be “scarier” than his wife, and the kids wouldn’t want to upset him, and whatever the context is, the reality is still that the wife needs more help around the house
@@faultybones190 Why most certainly changes what. Why something happens most certainly changes what should be done. And the more I listen, the more I realize why her children are unappreciative: SHE'S unappreciative. Her response to help from people showing they care enough to help isn't "thank you, let's keep this up" it was "I didn't notice, cuz I do it anyways". Her response to husband helping was basically "what do you want, a cookie?" I wouldn't be appreciative, respectfully, or want to help either. "L husband" the only thing she said about her husband painted him in a positive light cuz it showed a willingness to help. And if he was a lazy father we would know because she would have said so as shown by of how thoroughly she picked apart everyone else. "He should put more effort in" he did on two occasions and she painted him as a puppy seeking treats both times. The extracurricular car rides. She forgot she's the parent and has say on if they participate or not. X needs to be done for Y reward is clearly not a concept she's established in the family as shown by both the food situation and the extracurriculars situation. But I will say more support might help her relax, but who's going to support her? The kids who she doesn't appreciate their help? The husband who's help she doesn't appreciate? The Paternal Grandparents who's help she outright undoes?
my mom does all the mom stuff but we appreciate her and understand ghat the stuff she does actually takes effort and she has feelings and we acknowledge all that, not in some new special way either, we do it just buy saying thank you, and being considerate and appreciative and helpful when we can. it's probably on all of them to a degree that they're like that, and my family isn't perfect or anything but we definitely dont have this problem
That screams burnout! Im experiencing that rn. I didn't even get a chance to truly enjoy my child and being a mother because I was always super stressed and overworked having to deal with everything else on my own as well. I love my child with every fiber of my being and I'd die for her no hesitation but I need a break and I haven't had a proper one since I had her. No help whatsoever 😢😔. Sad thing is, this has been going on for years and I wasn't single until recently. My ex did NOTHING
It’s really crazy that parents think that their kids aren’t completely malleable sponges that absorb your mannerisms, tendencies, etc. and are genetically the same as both parents. Meaning, almost everything about your kids are either predictable or by example. Apart from severe mental disabilities, you are always to blame for your children.
So it’s most likely the dad’s fault as to why the kids take their mother for granted and just assume she’s going to do everything for them. How about you stop blaming mum and start blaming a lazy man who doesn’t appreciate his partner so much it most likely rubbed off onto his children
@@tomanyfandoms1726 almost like I said “parents” not “moms”. Then I doubled down and said “both parents” (the implication is that both moms and dads can be offenders of what I was talking about).
@@tomanyfandoms1726Sorry but it becomes no ones fault but your own if your kids don't at least respect you..... The dad can be an unappreciative son of a jackas* but if she lets her kids be like that to her... Well she's to blame for being a doormat....
Well no. Kids are a completely seperste human being with a totally different brain, different experiences, different values and unique personalities. But they are smart enough to pick up on everything about their parents and then use it against them. Even a cat is capable of screaming at the door until the owner has to let it in.
@@ZebraLuv A lot of your kids mannerisms, temperament, and things like emotional intelligence are heavily predicted by the parents genetics more and more research is finding. Between that and how you socialize them and teach them by the age of 4 is (ballpark) around 80% of who they will be. Are there statistical outliers? Sure. Is it likely that this op has multiple children that are outliers? No. When people complain about one of their 2-4 kids being unbearable a lot of the times it’s a genetic or a mental irregularity. However, because statistically the odds you have multiple kids like that it is way more likely that you’re the one doing wrong. We should not and cannot keep letting this narrative that kids are their own things that can think on their own. It just makes parents hold less responsibility and makes children worse off. It doesn’t help kids and it doesn’t help society at large to tell people “do your best, and HOPE your kid turns out fine” it should be “your kid has a lot of predeterminative things that you can either control or account for when parenting” if you’re going to have kids I strongly urge you to read on behavioral psychology and how to socialize your kids properly before the age of 4 as it is probably the best things you can do for your kid because parents owe it to their kids. I’ve done a lot of research on this because I was a kid who was antisocial asf and couldn’t cope with the fact that I was just like my parents in a lot of manners so it manifested in almost the same negative ways just like they did with their parents. No you’re not a clone of your parents, but your genetics and the way you’re tough early has a massive hand in who you are. That’s an okay fact, people just need to adjust to it. It’s not some “parents are blah blah blah” type thing it’s really coming from a place of it sucks to see kids that have these issues and parents loathing these issues in social or in familial settings.
You raised your kids to be this way. Look at how easily she tries to dodge accountability, truly a fascinating creature. So in the words of an ancient civilization….. Womp Womp…
Did she, or did dad behave in a way that lead to them taking their mother for granted? Kids love to copy their parents, and it’s clear they’re not taking after her
@@tomanyfandoms1726Yeah and if the mom had set her foot down the first time it happened this post wouldn't even be happening.... Many women can't discipline their kids and have husbands who don't participate in parenting yet they want the husband to do something? LoL.... Like fix your own problems... You already see that no ones gonna help you fix them so why whine?
@@whyareyouhere3698 wdym "yet"? r u saying fathers are less of a parent? Why do u keep referring the father as "mother's husband"? So u agree mothers are basically doing double the parenting?
@@orangejuice775 Ok so I probably didn't explain myself in my first comment..... First of all the yet part was a question.... I said many women can't discipline their kids and have husbands who don't participate in parenting, meaning that they have husbands who don't want to act like parents.... Yet they want the husbands to do something about the kids.... So in short women marry these men who don't want to parent and those same women want their husbands to parent..... It's ridiculous to want something you know you WON'T have..... Hence my comment saying that they should stop whining and deal with the problem themselves and not expect their husband to deal with it.... This woman has to learn to stand up for herself and stop waiting for her husband to do something..... Take in account that this is all based on the assumption that she has talked to her husband about all of this and the husband has ignored anything she brings up....
Husband sucks omg, wanting a gold star for doing the bare minimum of bathing your child when she does everything with not even an acknowledgment is crazy
@@MageDawnStarOr her husband can be a dad and give her a break. Abusing your kids doesn’t fix the problem, it only makes it worse and teaches your kids that it’s okay to hit anything and everything when they’re angry.
@@alexnoctum2951undisciplined discipline does that. But let's look at one small thing that you overlooked. Dad was able to get them to clean up after themselves. Either mom can't or doesn't give them the chance to
@@MageDawnStarto be fair, maybe their father should help her do that. Maybe she's so exhausted at the end of the day. Doing everything for everybody. Because there's things that need to get done in a house in order for a house to run. Maybe she'd have time to teach them some manners. Or better yet, what isn't their father do that.
1. Don’t have three kids, you’re asking for anxiety 2. You’re spoiling them so they act spoiled 3. Assuming your husband is the sole breadwinner, it is fair for him to expect to not have to do chores 4. Go on vacation
My dad always used to tell me when I got home from school “let’s make your mom happy and clean the kitchen/livingroom/bathroom etc. to suprise her when she gets home” and then we’d clean together. Everyday. He always puts in effort to help with cooking, or gardening and always wants my mom to be happy and relieved after a day of work, or taking the youngest children on trips. And he never asked grattitude for any of it. Just a reminder that if he wanted to, he would. And my mom is equally helpful and caring. I remember the only arguments I’ve seen them have was when both wanted to do a chore for the other. Be careful, and be picky when choosing someone to share your life with, because not everyone out there will make you do the extra work.
It’s all about how you raise them if you are gentle with them and only talk to them and not scold them for doing bad stuff. They’ll grow up spoiled and entitled, but if you go to hard on them they’ll end up hating you so you have to find like a middle ground where you scold them but are gentle enough not to make them despise you
As a child myself (I know im not allowed to be on youtube), I can say that while your kids sounds very spoiled generally, I do similar things, of course I’m respectful to my parents but my mom feeds me, cleans the house and does almost all the chores but the main difference is that I always say thank you. I don’t be disrespectful and I help her if she asks right away and also we have a lot of things that we do to lessen the workload so I have three suggestions: 1. Talk to your kids. From how you were saying in this post, I don’t think you’ve talked to your kids or husband yet. Please do so, because without communication they will be confused if you get angry. 2. Get your kids to do things for themselves. Make your 16 year old get a job and pay for their own things and if they’re still under your roof when they’re 18 make them pay rent and either teach them or let your husband teach them how to make and save money. And make your 12-year-old do chores like cleaning and taking care of their little brother or sister (the toddler) 3. Talk to your husband and make sure he understands your point of view. Now if he doesn’t understand maybe he’s not the best partner Ok I hope this helps😊
That's exactly what my mother would say and she was an awful person and a horrendous mother that never acknowledged all I did for her. That being said, she still deserves a break, and needs to drop her husband if he isn't helping her around the house.
Wow! That's incredibly stupid thing to say. Of course we're going to blame the parent that's active and just totally ignore the one that doesn't. Maybe mom has to do everything because if she doesn't it doesn't get done. And these are things that need to get done because a house needs to run. And Dad's just too lazy and entitled and thinks well. I work 8 hours a day so I shouldn't have to do anything when I get home and. I gave the kid a bath. I deserve a reward. Like grow up. It's your kid. But no no. You're right. It's always 100% the woman's fault.
And yes, that's exactly what you meant. So you can GTFO out of here with that's not what I said. Yes you did. I'm an adult enough to read between the lines.
@@LLandS18 I said what I said and I'm sticking to it. If this woman can't handle the responsibility of handling her children then it is her responsibility to get more help. If she is the active parent(because we don't know like the conclusions you jumped to) then how her children were raised is on her. No I'm not gonna support the grown adult throwing a pity party because they don't like how they handled the situation and having the audacity to blame it on the kids YOU shaped. My mother went to school full time, worked full time, took care of me and my three cousins who were abounded and raised us all to be good humans and never had the audacity to blame us for her parenting. I get that some people can't handle it but that's not an excuse. There are children dying in waves from school shootings because of terrible parenting. I'm done making excuses for people. Get help or accept you're not actually trying to succeed.
@@kota_bear7174 or men should be functioning adults and help their wife. She works full-time and expect to do the majority of housework. The majority of child care. And her husband thinks he deserves an award for doing the bare minimum of bathing his child. And keeping the house clean. Well congratulations. My 12-year-old godson does that. He keeps himself clean and he cleans up after himself. So if a 12-year-old can do it a goddamn adult man should understand he needs to do it too.
@@LLandS18Okay well you clearly have some unresolved issues that have nothing to do with me. Nor did you even try to respond to me so have fun figuring that out
my thing with parents is that they dont realize THEY raised their children and their actions and behaviors are part of the reason their children behave the way they do
I am sorry mom .. when i went to college, thats the time i realised my moms hardwork ... Otherwise i would never have appreciated how much good she made me and the thought process that i got made me make right choice ...she is still there for me and whenever i go back home .. i try to help her as much as i can but omg she works a lot ... Full time being mom is the hardest thing ...kids think thats is their job and are not appreciated enough
First off picky eaters exist, secondly I'm not suprised that they expect you to pick them up from fucking school. Push for better communication with your husband, get him to do more household chores and shit, and maybe get your kids to cook their own food they're old enough. I also feel like you shouldn't of had another kid if you were having issues with your older children.
Sounds like she raised her kids poorly and now is suffering the consequences. Motherhood is a wonderful thing if you actually do it properly and appreciate the little moments. She messed it up.
@@NotVincentCharbonneau And??? Don't tell me mommy still hanf feeds you your food... Also if they don't know how to cook, they can now. Like... think about it. In 4 years, that 14 year old will be out of high school and possibly either working and or in college. They need to know how to fend for themselves. Don't baby them and then at 18 expect them to know how to feed, cook, clean, and take care of themselves if they were never taught how to.
@@scarlet16moons5 You western people are weird as hell. Turning 18 doesn't magically make you an adult. She expects a 12 and 14 year old to drive, cook, clean etc. She's crazy
Kids do owe their parents. Especially kids that had parents that provided a home activities. Food shelter Love. Then you do know your parents stuff. And it's not just simply for existing. It's for all those other things. She's doing way more than the bare minimum.
@@NotVincentCharbonneau Oh yes, assuming that my children shouldn't be my internal slave because I grace them with my choice to bring them into this world. How about don't be such an an entitled Karen.
So she's complaining about no one helping around the house but when they do help she complains about not wanting to praise them even though praising would help instill those good habits? This woman sounds like a nightmare to be around. Of course you have to pick up your children from school they're all under 16. She's acting like her children owe for the food and clothes they get. They don't they didn't ask to be born.
@@orangejuice775 Yeah no. She's one of those people who think they're doing their children a favour by feeding and sheltering them. She expects her 14 and 12 year old to get themselves to school and after school activities. She's crazy
@@NotVincentCharbonneau when you sacrifice all your personal time for them, cant get a thank you but they themselves expect otherwise doing their own chores is just hypocritical. No surprise she's experiencing a burn out. Children who don't show respect to their parents are called brats plain and simple. Parents, especially mothers aren't actually some holy heroes who will just do shyt for you, u give back too
They were just spoiled. "Repair the damage that they did", maybe thats your problem right there. Being 100%strict isnt good but being 0% isnt either. When thwir grandparents are teaching them something you dont have the gut to do, dont undo the work untop of that
Honestly sounds like shes not a great mom. This whole idea of “every mom is a good mom” is how emotionally abusive or distant moms go their whole life thinking they’re doing it right. Her children are entitled because she never had boundaries or discipline. The kids do and say whatever they like and mom does nothing. This is just what comes of having a series of children that you keep alive but never actually bother to parent.
It takes two girl. You can’t expect people to change without 1. Mentioning they need to change 2. Tell them the behaviors that need to be fixed and 3. Realize it’s not all their fault. And I also don’t get the point of “they don’t even ask anymore, they just expect me to pick them up” you just stated they’re 12 to 14 what else are they supposed to do.
Mom is pissed her behavior of being a martyr is not being recognized. Teaching children (& husband) that zero effort gets everything is a form of trauma & abuse.
This all seems like a her problem she should’ve taught her young and impressionable kids not to be assholes or you know maybe after she realized she didn’t enjoy having kids stop having kids don’t make new ones if the old ones are annoying set firm boundaries
Her kids obviously her problem. Whose else would it be? Seems like she is taken for granted in her house by the kids' father and they're only picking up on that
While I aggree they probably wouldn't act this way a lot of other things would show up. Such as racism, sexism, and a bunch of things that were common back in the day
Or maybe if the father stepped in and didn't expect his wife to do everything and make her do everything because he just won't do it and then it doesn't get done. So she has to do it because these things need to be done in order for household to run. Maybe the kids wouldn't be so entitled.
My wife used to get so upset that the kids would listen to me and not her. When I told them to do something there would be consequences and I’d follow through. She would threaten them with not having Christmas or something stupid like that and they would ignore her. The kids knew where they stood with me, she would just yell and scream at them. Set clear boundaries and expectations and your kids will try to meet them. Scream and throw temper tantrums and your kids won’t do what they’re supposed to, they probably won’t even know what they’re supposed to be doing!
@@zugmeister314 Why don’t you tell your wife to do what you did. Did you enjoy seeing her suffer? This is the reason why I don’t kids. They can an asshole
Duuuude she needs a few days to herself with some supportive friends. My mom sometimes has "me time" when she can get it by going camping with friends & i fully understand she just wants to get away sometimes & wish her relaxation
Or here's another take. The father. The husband does nothing. Expect his wife to do everything . Weaponized and competence and forces her to do things because if she doesn't do them they don't get done. And there's some things that have to get done because if they don't get done a household doesn't run. And the kids see their father behaving like that and they're like well. If Dad doesn't do have to do anything, why do I. But you're right, let's blame the only parent that's actually willing to parent their child. Not the other parent that behaveds like a child. No, they're just sweetened innocent little men that don't know what they're doing. You know how patronizing that attitude is to men.
There is so much here that is left unsaid. I know a lot of people would disagree and I don’t really want to know more because that would delve into really personal stuff, but… when it comes to family issues. There’s so much that we don’t know. We don’t know the husband is like except what OP has said. We don’t know if the kids are spoiled brats or if there’s underlying issues. Growing up is tough, being a responsible parent is tough and life with a group of people is going to have its ups and downs because everyone has different opinions and experiences. So the most important thing a family can do is communicate. Communication is key for any relationship. Especially for the younger generation. Talk to your kids about your feelings and talk to your partner. Telling your kids you’re exhausted and need a break isn’t a bad thing. 🧐
Sounds like she needs to leave for a while. I don't mean permanently but a good while. Let them figure it out while she rests. Maybe it'll teach them to appreciate her more too.
The way relationships work is that both sides give effort 50/50, they way parenting works is that the child is fully dependent on the parent so it’s the parent’s responsibility to be dependable and also independent. Your children don’t owe you anything the relationship is 10/90 you have to teach and love the child until they’re independent enough to have the relationship efforts go up at max 40/60. I’m not saying the lady is fully in the wrong, but society needs to be more honest on how parenting works, it’s not rainbows and sunshine.
Honestly, I felt this. And I'm only 16. My parents were neglectful and abusive assholes. My father physically and sexually (probably also mentally) abused me up until I was 11 (started at around 4 or 5) and my mother has been neglectful my whole life, I've always been the parent figure for myself and my little sister. And she doesn't appreciate everything I've given for her. I have saved up enough to get the fuck out of this house, yet I stay just to keep her safe from my mother's abusive tendencies and neglectful behaviour. I've been recommended to join countless advanced placement and advanced honors classes as well as teacher-recommendations-only after school activities, but I turn everything down for the sake of picking up my sister after school and looking after her. Back when my father still lived with us, I would regularly take hits for her and I sacrificed my own innocence to keep her safe. And yet she's not even a little grateful. She expects me to pick her up all the time and look after her every single day and cook for her and essentially be the parental figure I myself never had. Never a thank you or a please for me, but whenever my mother does anything as simple as turn the light in her room off during bedtime, she'll be all "thank you so much mom". It's honestly so fucking tiring.
Tell them to sit in your living room (or any room with seats) and talk to them about every issue, don’t feel bad if they feel uncomfortable because this is what has to be done to make everyone comfortable.
I clean the whole house on a daily basis and my dad doesn’t do housework, so when he does every few months, he’ll just load the dishes. He tells me to come he here and look at how good he did even though I either had to help him arrange them or he just didn’t do it right. It sucks bc he always says that he doesn’t hang out around the house and just stays in his room so the mess is our fault. It’s half true bc he never leaves his room but when he does it’s to get another beer, eat, leave a beer can on the counter, or leave a dirty plate on the counter
Rest of story
So It just looked like they’d maintained. Nobody said thanks to me for cleaning .) I sound so ungrateful. I have a good life. but when I look down the road at the next 16 years of parenting my toddler, I’m not excited , I’m exhausted and dreading it. So I feel like an awful mom today and I really don’t like being a mom. And I really don’t like Mother’s Day.
When was this post posted?
It rough when your a bad parent
@@royce9018what the fuck dude?
@@royce9018bro they ain5 bad 5hey try the best they can wtf
@@marsh_bo1 wdym
Wow. That woman needs a vacation. Like a private one. For a month.
Fr
Fr
Just means she is a bad mother
@@fuzztsimmers3415thats your takeaway??
@@fuzztsimmers3415u sound beyond spoiled 😂
It’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed. I wouldn’t stay with someone who didn’t help me out with all of the kids though…they are his responsibility too and he can help out with cleaning. She needs to ask for a break as well for her mental health.
He helped with cleaning at least twice as she put it, and she was unappreciative.
@@blazingknight1276twice?😂 you want a cookie?😂 the house has to be cleaned everyday and you think twice is anything? He literally lives there, he can clean up after himself instead of leaving food wrappers out and dirty clothes on the closet floor and dirty plates on the table it's called being an adult bro
@@Egh0127 I don't entirely disagree. Unfortunately when you approach Family with the attitude of "you should already know better" and at the same time "fine, do whatever you want"(yes that's the attitudes I get from the post) instead of actually communicating and establishing rules, you are going to get this result.
Based on the fact she's used to cleaning, she either hasn't told them to clean, or doesn't enforce it. Based on everything else she's said both are equally likely. "But the husband should know to do better" Common sense isn't common People actually need to talk to each other to know what they want and think. And based on how the relationship is shown in post: I don't think she asks him or anyone for help. He helped unprompted (maybe he thought these things being done would help her relax a bit) and was responded with apathy. So why would he help more if he can't tell if he's helping her or not.
She hasn't set rules, doesn't communicate things, and does everything that doesn't get done how she wants herself. Occasional cleaning is all you're going to get with that setup.
@@blazingknight1276he is an Fing adult. (Which I assume you are not one) He’s not doing what he’s supposed to be doing. Incels like you are all about “fairness” until you are expected to be fair in return. Then it’s excuse after excuse. Her “attitude” for example. What about his crappy attitude? If she divorced him he’ll have to clean and cook and caretaker 100% of the time when he has the kids 😂
@@blazingknight1276 In less words than you said, her husband sounds like another child. A grown man needs to be told when and how to clean? Needs standing ovation that he kept the house together for 2 days like she does each one with no appreciation? How isn't that inadequate?
Yeah, she definitely needs to change her parenting style and push for better communication with her kids and husband.
Of course it's her fault! Ofc she needs to do things differently🙄 She should stop doing everything! Go on strike. Provide the basics, take care of the toddler. Everyone else is old enough to figure things out.
Yeah @@wednesdayschildfullofwoe
@wednesdayschildfullofwoe it is her fault. And her husband's. She chose to marry him and have 3 kids....
@@abellabarbie Right?? I'm sure if she could shove them back into her uterus, she would. If only we could have the hindsight to know how marriage and children are going to work out.....prior to having them.
Yeah first off make her kids walk to places on their own if it’s a reasonable distance take stuff away if they disobey these two things alone would make the kids act better
She definitely needs to change things up. I would recommend telling the kids that if they don’t start helping with chores, then she will stop giving them rides to after school stuff. She can tell the 14 yr old to get a job and pay her for driving them. She should go a little easier on the 12 yr old but maybe get them to help take care of the toddler. As for the husband, I would recommend talking to him about the lack of balance in household duties. The mother could hire a babysitter/nanny to help with chores and taking care of the toddler.
I agree that she needs to expect her older kids to do reasonable contributions to household. But it’s literally against child labor laws in some states for a 14 year old to work, especially if they’re working to contribute to household expenses. Also, parentification is NOT a healthy solution with the 12 year old, that’s how they get trauma.
She needs to have a come-to-Jesus conversation with her husband so that they’re a unified front with the kids. Divide up the household labor as evenly as possible. Also, research regulation techniques so the little one learns to do that INSTEAD of devolving to hitting.
Eww god no. Both kids could help with chores and need to fix their bad attitude but the 12 year old does NOT need to help take care of the kid the parents made. That's not the 12 year olds fault, that's the parents fault for not keeping their legs closed.
@@karinagutierrez7134 "parentification" is when the children are parenting each other bc the parents are neglectful or irresponsible. Asking the 12 yr old to watch the toddler sometimes in exchange for constant chauffeuring is simply just fair exchange. The 14 yr old can also get a job babysitting. Or mowing lawns. Or selling lemonade. Its feasible for them to earn money somehow and contribute some money to gas funds since they get driven everywhere
@@karinagutierrez7134 14 year olds can legally work at a grocery store in some places. That’s the type of job I’m talking about, and it’s one thing that could help teach the child responsibility. Additionally, I meant that the 12 year old could help with chores involving the toddler and occasionally look after them, although that isn’t the best option.
I don’t understand the “come-to-Jesus” part but I agree with the rest.
@@l.a.8258 you’re right, I just mean that’s one chore the kid could help with.
It’s worth pointing out that people don’t get this way unless you let them. Victim-blaming is never good, but I really feel like she’s letting them walk all over her
If anything it sounds like the dad is barely doing anything and she still works/cleans/takes care of the kids/drives them to places ect. Like i feel like anyone would struggle with all that mostly alone.
@@berserkagain7976That’s unfair to the father because in this story she sounds like a stay at home mother.
@@w3aponex870 stay at home mother's still need support from their spouse.
@@w3aponex870 even if she is a stay at home, the husband is still expected to help raise the kids that he helped produce.
Imagine working full time and then coming home to a stay at home wife who expects you to "step up." Yes, parenting is a 50/50 effort. But the sexes compliment each other. The mom needs to grow a backbone and the dad needs to have her back when the older kids inevitably lash out.
This is a good reminder to love your mama.
Treu
Imagine getting bullied by your own kids.
Bro what? 💀
It's not that hard to imagine unfortunately
@wednesdayschildfullofwoe damn, change up your style. My kids would never disrespect me or their mother like that. And if they did, I'd fix them quick. Parents are not friends.
@@AnimeMoonsanit’s pretty.common bro
@Jiminlogy well I just can't imagine someone's kids doing that to their own mother.
Just dont take it out on the kids. Im still relearning to ask for things I need cuz I nearly failed school and had put my own life on hold to save my moms time and energy. I love her but hearing her vent about something as small as “being everyone’s taxi” hurt a lot more than one would think.
(Sounds petty but when you don’t want to burden your mom its the small things like that that hurts most)
If it hurt it's because it was true... And you should have releaved some of the work.
When I was achild and my parents had has days or stressed I wouldnt blame them for being stressed I would help.
Most of us didnt have our parents drive us around like taxis.
Als, put your life on hold and failing school just for not being driven around? That seems extremme...
@@sofiabruiz17some people complain about anything, even the most basic of things. It’s not on the child to have to take care of their parent, it’s up to the parent and their spouse to take care of each other. My parents were the same way as the original commenters. Saying things like “tired of being everyone’s taxi” for taking my little sisters to school when no one else could take them and there was no bus.
Can kids as they get older do things on their own? Yes. Once they get older, they can learn to cook and drive, but until then, it’s not their fault.
While you aren’t entirely wrong, your perspective doesn’t include parents who just aren’t good parents.
I totally understand, my parents are the exact same. My mom was literally blaming my 9 y/o sister for her and my dad not having a s3x life
@@Spooky-Artists0 Ive met plenty of bad parents in my life, since Ive worked with unfortunate kids for many years. So I do completly understand your point of view. Specially when parents have loads of kids and put the pressure of raising them to the oldest. However, it may just be how it came accross, but this didnt sound like one of those situations. I also grew up in a place full of spoiled kids who did treat their parents like taxis. Seeing how that was the example they went for, I couldnt help but think it was probably the latter example. I could ofcouse be wrong. It just felt extremme in my eyes to act so hurt because your parent feels like a taxi and says so, this comments also usually come with lack of appreciation from the kids. Just because your parent has to take care of you, doesnt mean you cant be grateful
Remember, a mother needs help too. Whether that be for learning new parental tatics, or to get away for a few hours. Mother's need their own time too.
I'm thinking the big kids need to spend a summer with their "old school" grandparents and the toddler needs to spend dad-and-me-only weekends. That will free mom to have time to clear her head.
The "old school" grandparents could easily abuse them if they're just left with the kids.
It's stupid to expect grandparents to raise you kids for you, not to mention to treat them well if they have a habit of hurting the kids emotionally or physically.
@@alicedodobirb2808 OP called them "old school" and not abusive. Old-school means they'd tell you you are a spoilt brat when you are acting like one without coddling feelings. They need someone to create the boundaries and enforce the law and because OP has been a spineless parent, the grandparents can be just the right cure.
She created /raised the children she can only thank herself
Yes she raised the children all by herself. But created? They have their father
Remember folks, having kids is an option that you don't have to take, no matter what society tells you
More people need to stop having kids and keep their legs closed.
Nobody forces people to have sex😂 tf you talm bout. She chose to have kids. Unless it’s a 1/100 situation
@@mr.poobear99no but society pressures women into having kids. It’s practically impossible to get your tubes tied and people will call women immoral for not wanting children
This is not a result of having kids. She is like this because she has no support from the people around her. It takes a village to raise a child and she doesn't have one.
@@mr.poobear99 In today’s society, women are expected to have kids and a husband and “don’t divorce it doesn’t look good” and “abortion is murder”
Basically what I’m saying is that she was most likely pressured into having kids. For better clarification, the commenter is saying not to cave into society’s pushing - in this situation, having children
Just say NO. Set some boundaries and stand firm. It's not everything but it does help a lot.
“My way isn’t working but I don’t like someone else’s way so I undo their way so my way can keep not working”
Old-school parenting raises right
Yeah this mother is an idiot
Somethin tells me they were teaching sexist stuff or the like. There’s some things that you just don’t want your kids picking up as it’ll result in them struggling to fit in and thrive in todays society.
@@uwuCaleism that would be a lot more fair and understandable, without context though I assumed the main difference is leniency rather than bad habits
@@Keiser1 you idiots raised school shooters and serial killers SIT DOWN
To be fair, 1. She wpuld have to discuss having kids and if the first ones were so draining why wpuld she want more. Or consent to more
2. Children act the way they due from the environment they live in or how they were raised
3. The father needs to do more and or both need to talk about splitting the duties.
4. She REALLY needs a vacation and I hope they can talk to each other
Do you know how difficult it is for women, even women who have children, to get their tubes tied?
How expensive birth control is?
How it can be easy to get pregnant sometimes?
How a lot of women can’t have a fetus removed legally or if it is legal will most likely be socially excluded and even divorced?
What about dad, does he have no influence in the environment a kid grows up in?
I know you’re on her side, but you’re still blaming her for things that might be out of her control
@@tomanyfandoms1726 Dad has enough influence that he can get them to clean the entire house. She was unappreciative of that.
@@blazingknight1276 how does making sure the house stays clean after mum did all of the work beforehand mean you did something. Maybe they should’ve helped mum in the first place
@@tomanyfandoms1726 Kids do as their taught or as their shaped. Given how they're ALLOWED to object to anything but pasta, safe to say rules aren't set. Don't blame the kid for being a bad kid. The only excuses for bad kids are broken brains (mental disorders) or bad parenting. Acquiescing is bad parenting, and this post REEKS of acquiescing.
@@tomanyfandoms1726 and as for the house staying clean: unless you raise a fucking I pad kid, kids make messes. Not intentionally or maliciously, but messes nonetheless. Who's job is it to teach kids to clean up after themselves?
Talk about how you’d like to see them respond with what you’re doing. Don’t assume they’ll say thanks especially if you’ve done something without them asking, make sure you let them know if they don’t appreciate what you’re doing they can do it themselves. A child at their age can cook and clean after themselves. There seems to be a huge lack of communication, and by the seems of it they don’t deserve your respect and you don’t deserve their because both parties haven’t earned it yet.
Your children are a reflection of you. You did those things to get something in return, not out the kindness of your heart. I don't buy my son things, make days for him special, or love him so he can love me in return. I do them from pure love that needs nothing in return
Yeah, it seems like they're learning from their father. To just expect their mother to do everything. And because the mother doesn't want things to remain undone, she works herself to death. And then that gives them a higher expectation that she's going to do it. How about we don't blame mom for everything. And yes, that's exactly what you were doing.
@@LLandS18 when do we realize that our actions cause some of our problems.
@@BucckeyTemple No, I don't feel the need to blame abuse victims because they were abused. Victims are never responsible for their abuse. That's just excuse enablers use.
Edit because yes abusing your partner emotionally by making them think you're completely incompetent and can't do basic chores around the house and guilting them into doing them for you is a form of emotional abuse.
@@LLandS18 her children are abusing her? I think we should agree to disagree.
@@LLandS18then you made up an entire scenario about the husband. The last part of the story, how does she want to be praised but doesn't praise. To say "what is there to love about motherhood" is a bold ass line. She seems like a self absorbed mother.
Who are these people? My mom would annihilate me if I talk smack to her. We had to make our own lunch boxes ever since we turned teens.
Same. These kids are plain old brats yet I've read comments saying "poor kids" LMAO
BOUNDARIES are such a magical thing.
If you hated motherhood
Why have a second and then THIRD CHILD.
Her husband gotta be better parenthood is a team sport
You so think about it like this too she’s angry and upset right now so she might not actually be noticing what her husband is doing so she doesn’t speak on it either that or the husband is off providing for the household. in which case I saw a comment that said the older kids should spend time with their old school grandparents. That way mom will just have to look after one kid and have a whole Lotta time freed up at least for a little while.
I’d say working to afford their home, healthcare, car, heat, hot water, AC, and food is helping a lot
@@mindcraftfulNo that's not it at all. But uh way to make excuses for a lazy man. And blame the woman all in comment. Congratulations. That must be some kind of record. No, I'm going to tell you what's going on and it's the same that's going on in millions of marriages across the Western world. Is Mom is expected to work a full-time job, which by the way, in this story she does. She contributes as much financially to the household as her husband does. But it's still expected to do 92% of the housework. 98% of all the child care. Well the husband what does 8% of the house work and 2% of the child care works the full-time job but expect a pat on the back when he does the bare minimum. No this is weaponized and competence. This is years of wearing his partner down to expect he's going to do nothing but wanting to be celebrated when he does the bare minimum. What this is is emotional abuse. And the kids are smart. They see how their father treats their mother and they think well if Dad treats mom like she's a slave and expected to do everything. I guess I should behaved the same way. It's lurk behavior from their father. But of course, and you're twisted logic where you make an excuse for somebody who's emotionally abusing their wife and gaslighting them really what to point boils down to is your blaming in abuse victim for the fact that they were abused. And yes, Karen, that's exactly what you said. There's no other way to interpret what you said. So only what you said and don't come back at me with. That's not what I said because that's exactly what you said. You're just so indoctrinated by society to think women should just shut up and do everything that you don't even realize when you're doing it yourself.
@@LLandS18 yeah, I’m not reading all that I will say this men go out there and work to earn money for the household. If the wife is really this burnt out of her children, she should give the older ones to the grandparents for a bit and then she’ll just have the baby to focus on they’ll take a load off of her.
@@mindcraftful and I found the story on Reddit so does she? What's your point. If you want to blame someone blame the absentee parent, not the one who's actually involved.
It's touch when kids are those ages. I'm 19 now and my brother's 16. I wasn't as bad as he was but I wasn't good to either of my parents. Granted there are other reasons but all in all I was a regular teenager who wanted to be alone but also wanted to be cared for and it turned into being ungrateful. I see it in my brother now that I've grown out of it and been on my own for college. It's awful and to be frank it may be the worst part of raising kids. The exact same thing with the cleaning the house happened to my family when I was younger and it was probably the most heartbreaking thing as a middle schooler because I wanted that nod of approval from my mom by doing things she didn't ask of me but I still got shit for not doing it correctly.
I feel awful for the mom but I also feel awful for the kids bc I relate to the kids more and can compare my experiences with them. They aren't ungrateful but they are learning and trying to grow up.
Bro these sound like normal kids to me 😭 like I get it's hard to be a parent but it really doesn't sound like she was ready at all for the challenges of parenthood
As much as it sucks to hear, your kids dont really appreciate you until they become adults. Thats when the real payoffs come along. Hang in there and continue raising those kids with love and patience. Parenthood is the longest work shift youll ever clock into. But it is the most rewarding ❤
So...u guys basically wait YEARS for basic respect? If i acted like that I would EXPECT to be grounded or even smacked
@@orangejuice775appreciate is different from respect you can respect someone because you fear the consequences if u don’t but appreciating is genuine and it is true what he said a lot of the times it takes becoming adult to start appreciating a lot more when u fully start understanding everything while yes you can appreciate even before then it’s not till you grow that you understand it better
Or at least teenagers. Tbh you really start appreciating parents when you understand how much they do for you and you don't see that until you are old enough to understand. I know 14 years is old enough but at that age kids are more self absorbed and focus more on themselves and their friends rather than their parents. Now if some kid appreciates their mother at that age, that's nice but it doesn't really happen unless either you are super close to them or they are 16 or older. Kids mainly love you till 8,9 or 10 and then after 17,18 or older.
Between that is just a super annoying and rebellious phase you can say.
@@orangejuice775please don't have children if you are already fantasizing about slapping them.
Your kids feel entitled because you let them be. They turn their nose up at what you cook because you let them. All I’m hearing is “I sucked as a parent and now I’m suffering for it since they got older”. If I didn’t like what was served I didn’t eat. If I felt and acted entitled to something I got my soul smacked outta me. I was taught manners. No manners? Grounded. Throwing a tantrum? Demanding a toy in the store? Booty smack and grounded. Toys taken away for wanting more than what I had when I didn’t need it. Now as an adult I live within my means. I’m happy. And I spend money wisely and will teach my kids as I’ve been taught. I feel no sympathy for someone crying over their own lack of parenting. I know being a mom doesn’t come with a manual but shit. It’s not hard to teach right from wrong and use common sense with situations. Kids demanding shit. You give in now they demand more later. So no shit now. Seriously. Common sense.
It’s stuff like this why I always tell my mom that I love her and appreciate all that she does. She has been a mother for the past 24 years with 4 of us kids and has bent over backwards to do all that she does for us and I know it has been exhausting for her, it’s better now as I’m the only one left under her roof but she’s both working as a nurse and in nursing school so it’s still exhausting for her. I get that and want to at least show that she is appreciated for all she does. I tell her I love you allot, say thank you for everything she gets for me, because honestly that woman deserves it.
I love you mom, thank you, you haven’t been perfect but of all mothers you were a pretty good one ❤
Imagine being traumatized after your kids reject your cooking
Someone who has never cooked for anyone
entitlement is the default in children when you raise them as if the world revolves around them. gratitude is learned.
“My fourteen year old child expects me, her parent, to pick her up” NO SHIT?!
"and my 12 year old!! Woe is me!!"
The problem is that they don't even ask to make sure it's okay or say thank you
@@Lol-ti3nwif she agreed to let them do after school activities, she agreed to pick them up after too. What the fuck are they supposed to do if she said no? Walk home and get kidnapped?
@@franz.franciscoor ran over, there's more than just kidnapping. They could also get lost!
Two young teens walking around lost because their parents didn't want to pick them up for an extracurricular THEY allowed? Cps would be called so fast (and for good reason)
“And my 2 year old hasn’t been taught to regulate their emotions all the time! Oh my God!😩😩”
this is the reality for a lot of mothers. you literally lose your sense of identity to become a mom just for your kids to grow up and basically leave you behind once they form a life of their own, the kids aren’t wrong for doing that but it evidently makes motherhood a thankless and tiring job that leaves you feeling lonely and drained in the end, people try to sell you a dream but this is the reality and i won’t be partaking in it
Op really needs to have a sit down with her husband and Kids and talk to them about this. Maybe even see a family counselor/therapist, if that’s a financial possibility.
“They just turn their noses up at whatever I make” kids do that
I’m an only child and a young adult now, but sometimes I wonder if I ever made my Mum or Dad feel this way about me as a teenager. I don’t think I was ungrateful looking back, but I also don’t think I was very good at voicing my thanks. I don’t think I really do enough now either tbh. A good reminder to tell the ones you love ‘thank you’ and ‘I appreciate you’ a bit more often.
Rule 5 “Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.”
Been there. Time to start saying no to many of those after school activities. Your mental health matters more than soccer practice. Shlepping kids up and down is exhausting. Also toddlers grow and they get more independent, but she has to learn to walk away when she’s being hit and stick up for herself.
Husband definitely needs to help out way more. Rn it’s a an easy 80-20 and that needs to go to a 30-70 at a bare minimum and then let it even out. L husband
Context clues. Husbands Parenting Style would probably be similar to his parents, but she doesn't like his parents Parenting Style. She has most likely taken on all the parenting and coddled and Acquiesced to her children thus leading to the entitlement. Dad probably is the breadwinner bc of traditional upbringing as when he does step in, he seems helpful and in control enough to get the "entitled, picky" children to clean up the whole house.
In other words, Dad can get the kids to clean but mom can't. Whose actually able to parent the children?
@@blazingknight1276 the why doesn’t change the what. The reality is that the wife is still overworked and under appreciated. A big reason that the kids would listen to the father more is either because he’s not as exhausted and more patient than the wife. He also may be “scarier” than his wife, and the kids wouldn’t want to upset him, and whatever the context is, the reality is still that the wife needs more help around the house
@@faultybones190 Why most certainly changes what. Why something happens most certainly changes what should be done. And the more I listen, the more I realize why her children are unappreciative: SHE'S unappreciative. Her response to help from people showing they care enough to help isn't "thank you, let's keep this up" it was "I didn't notice, cuz I do it anyways". Her response to husband helping was basically "what do you want, a cookie?" I wouldn't be appreciative, respectfully, or want to help either.
"L husband" the only thing she said about her husband painted him in a positive light cuz it showed a willingness to help. And if he was a lazy father we would know because she would have said so as shown by of how thoroughly she picked apart everyone else.
"He should put more effort in" he did on two occasions and she painted him as a puppy seeking treats both times.
The extracurricular car rides. She forgot she's the parent and has say on if they participate or not. X needs to be done for Y reward is clearly not a concept she's established in the family as shown by both the food situation and the extracurriculars situation.
But I will say more support might help her relax, but who's going to support her? The kids who she doesn't appreciate their help? The husband who's help she doesn't appreciate? The Paternal Grandparents who's help she outright undoes?
my mom does all the mom stuff but we appreciate her and understand ghat the stuff she does actually takes effort and she has feelings and we acknowledge all that, not in some new special way either, we do it just buy saying thank you, and being considerate and appreciative and helpful when we can. it's probably on all of them to a degree that they're like that, and my family isn't perfect or anything but we definitely dont have this problem
That screams burnout! Im experiencing that rn. I didn't even get a chance to truly enjoy my child and being a mother because I was always super stressed and overworked having to deal with everything else on my own as well. I love my child with every fiber of my being and I'd die for her no hesitation but I need a break and I haven't had a proper one since I had her. No help whatsoever 😢😔. Sad thing is, this has been going on for years and I wasn't single until recently. My ex did NOTHING
Have him take custody on the weekends and use those days to relax also get ur child support
It’s really crazy that parents think that their kids aren’t completely malleable sponges that absorb your mannerisms, tendencies, etc. and are genetically the same as both parents. Meaning, almost everything about your kids are either predictable or by example. Apart from severe mental disabilities, you are always to blame for your children.
So it’s most likely the dad’s fault as to why the kids take their mother for granted and just assume she’s going to do everything for them.
How about you stop blaming mum and start blaming a lazy man who doesn’t appreciate his partner so much it most likely rubbed off onto his children
@@tomanyfandoms1726 almost like I said “parents” not “moms”. Then I doubled down and said “both parents” (the implication is that both moms and dads can be offenders of what I was talking about).
@@tomanyfandoms1726Sorry but it becomes no ones fault but your own if your kids don't at least respect you..... The dad can be an unappreciative son of a jackas* but if she lets her kids be like that to her... Well she's to blame for being a doormat....
Well no. Kids are a completely seperste human being with a totally different brain, different experiences, different values and unique personalities. But they are smart enough to pick up on everything about their parents and then use it against them. Even a cat is capable of screaming at the door until the owner has to let it in.
@@ZebraLuv A lot of your kids mannerisms, temperament, and things like emotional intelligence are heavily predicted by the parents genetics more and more research is finding. Between that and how you socialize them and teach them by the age of 4 is (ballpark) around 80% of who they will be. Are there statistical outliers? Sure. Is it likely that this op has multiple children that are outliers? No. When people complain about one of their 2-4 kids being unbearable a lot of the times it’s a genetic or a mental irregularity. However, because statistically the odds you have multiple kids like that it is way more likely that you’re the one doing wrong. We should not and cannot keep letting this narrative that kids are their own things that can think on their own. It just makes parents hold less responsibility and makes children worse off. It doesn’t help kids and it doesn’t help society at large to tell people “do your best, and HOPE your kid turns out fine” it should be “your kid has a lot of predeterminative things that you can either control or account for when parenting” if you’re going to have kids I strongly urge you to read on behavioral psychology and how to socialize your kids properly before the age of 4 as it is probably the best things you can do for your kid because parents owe it to their kids. I’ve done a lot of research on this because I was a kid who was antisocial asf and couldn’t cope with the fact that I was just like my parents in a lot of manners so it manifested in almost the same negative ways just like they did with their parents. No you’re not a clone of your parents, but your genetics and the way you’re tough early has a massive hand in who you are. That’s an okay fact, people just need to adjust to it. It’s not some “parents are blah blah blah” type thing it’s really coming from a place of it sucks to see kids that have these issues and parents loathing these issues in social or in familial settings.
Communication 👏 and find time to take breaks or vacations 👏
You raised your kids to be this way. Look at how easily she tries to dodge accountability, truly a fascinating creature. So in the words of an ancient civilization….. Womp Womp…
Did she, or did dad behave in a way that lead to them taking their mother for granted?
Kids love to copy their parents, and it’s clear they’re not taking after her
@@tomanyfandoms1726Yeah and if the mom had set her foot down the first time it happened this post wouldn't even be happening.... Many women can't discipline their kids and have husbands who don't participate in parenting yet they want the husband to do something? LoL.... Like fix your own problems... You already see that no ones gonna help you fix them so why whine?
Never have kids.
@@whyareyouhere3698 wdym "yet"? r u saying fathers are less of a parent? Why do u keep referring the father as "mother's husband"? So u agree mothers are basically doing double the parenting?
@@orangejuice775 Ok so I probably didn't explain myself in my first comment..... First of all the yet part was a question.... I said many women can't discipline their kids and have husbands who don't participate in parenting, meaning that they have husbands who don't want to act like parents.... Yet they want the husbands to do something about the kids.... So in short women marry these men who don't want to parent and those same women want their husbands to parent..... It's ridiculous to want something you know you WON'T have.....
Hence my comment saying that they should stop whining and deal with the problem themselves and not expect their husband to deal with it....
This woman has to learn to stand up for herself and stop waiting for her husband to do something.....
Take in account that this is all based on the assumption that she has talked to her husband about all of this and the husband has ignored anything she brings up....
That poor woman,i really hope the people around her will do better❤
It sounds like the result of not setting boundaries/expectations my poor parenting.
Husband sucks omg, wanting a gold star for doing the bare minimum of bathing your child when she does everything with not even an acknowledgment is crazy
To be fair, it wouldn't been easier if she actually raised them with manners and even a hint of discipline.
@@MageDawnStarOr her husband can be a dad and give her a break. Abusing your kids doesn’t fix the problem, it only makes it worse and teaches your kids that it’s okay to hit anything and everything when they’re angry.
@@alexnoctum2951undisciplined discipline does that. But let's look at one small thing that you overlooked. Dad was able to get them to clean up after themselves.
Either mom can't or doesn't give them the chance to
"Just wait until your father gets home."
Once upon a time those words meant something.
@@MageDawnStarto be fair, maybe their father should help her do that. Maybe she's so exhausted at the end of the day. Doing everything for everybody. Because there's things that need to get done in a house in order for a house to run. Maybe she'd have time to teach them some manners. Or better yet, what isn't their father do that.
1. Don’t have three kids, you’re asking for anxiety
2. You’re spoiling them so they act spoiled
3. Assuming your husband is the sole breadwinner, it is fair for him to expect to not have to do chores
4. Go on vacation
This is why there is a thing called discipline
LMAOOOO if it isn't the consequences of her own actions
All I hear is, my husband doesn’t support me, and my kids are influenced by his unappreciative behavior towards me-😑
My dad always used to tell me when I got home from school “let’s make your mom happy and clean the kitchen/livingroom/bathroom etc. to suprise her when she gets home” and then we’d clean together. Everyday. He always puts in effort to help with cooking, or gardening and always wants my mom to be happy and relieved after a day of work, or taking the youngest children on trips. And he never asked grattitude for any of it. Just a reminder that if he wanted to, he would. And my mom is equally helpful and caring. I remember the only arguments I’ve seen them have was when both wanted to do a chore for the other. Be careful, and be picky when choosing someone to share your life with, because not everyone out there will make you do the extra work.
It’s all about how you raise them if you are gentle with them and only talk to them and not scold them for doing bad stuff. They’ll grow up spoiled and entitled, but if you go to hard on them they’ll end up hating you so you have to find like a middle ground where you scold them but are gentle enough not to make them despise you
As a child myself (I know im not allowed to be on youtube), I can say that while your kids sounds very spoiled generally, I do similar things, of course I’m respectful to my parents but my mom feeds me, cleans the house and does almost all the chores but the main difference is that I always say thank you. I don’t be disrespectful and I help her if she asks right away and also we have a lot of things that we do to lessen the workload so I have three suggestions:
1. Talk to your kids. From how you were saying in this post, I don’t think you’ve talked to your kids or husband yet. Please do so, because without communication they will be confused if you get angry.
2. Get your kids to do things for themselves. Make your 16 year old get a job and pay for their own things and if they’re still under your roof when they’re 18 make them pay rent and either teach them or let your husband teach them how to make and save money. And make your 12-year-old do chores like cleaning and taking care of their little brother or sister (the toddler)
3. Talk to your husband and make sure he understands your point of view. Now if he doesn’t understand maybe he’s not the best partner
Ok I hope this helps😊
I am happy that i am not those kids, theyre so ungrateful. I can see it in my sister though.
That's exactly what my mother would say and she was an awful person and a horrendous mother that never acknowledged all I did for her.
That being said, she still deserves a break, and needs to drop her husband if he isn't helping her around the house.
adoption center expecting a visit from her
You have to teach children to be appreciative and not entitled brats. You created your own nightmare
Wow! That's incredibly stupid thing to say. Of course we're going to blame the parent that's active and just totally ignore the one that doesn't. Maybe mom has to do everything because if she doesn't it doesn't get done. And these are things that need to get done because a house needs to run. And Dad's just too lazy and entitled and thinks well. I work 8 hours a day so I shouldn't have to do anything when I get home and. I gave the kid a bath. I deserve a reward. Like grow up. It's your kid. But no no. You're right. It's always 100% the woman's fault.
And yes, that's exactly what you meant. So you can GTFO out of here with that's not what I said. Yes you did. I'm an adult enough to read between the lines.
@@LLandS18 I said what I said and I'm sticking to it. If this woman can't handle the responsibility of handling her children then it is her responsibility to get more help. If she is the active parent(because we don't know like the conclusions you jumped to) then how her children were raised is on her. No I'm not gonna support the grown adult throwing a pity party because they don't like how they handled the situation and having the audacity to blame it on the kids YOU shaped. My mother went to school full time, worked full time, took care of me and my three cousins who were abounded and raised us all to be good humans and never had the audacity to blame us for her parenting. I get that some people can't handle it but that's not an excuse. There are children dying in waves from school shootings because of terrible parenting. I'm done making excuses for people. Get help or accept you're not actually trying to succeed.
@@kota_bear7174 or men should be functioning adults and help their wife. She works full-time and expect to do the majority of housework. The majority of child care. And her husband thinks he deserves an award for doing the bare minimum of bathing his child. And keeping the house clean. Well congratulations. My 12-year-old godson does that. He keeps himself clean and he cleans up after himself. So if a 12-year-old can do it a goddamn adult man should understand he needs to do it too.
@@LLandS18Okay well you clearly have some unresolved issues that have nothing to do with me. Nor did you even try to respond to me so have fun figuring that out
seems like she needs to learn to discipline and teach her kids and a better husband
What about her HUSBAND disciplining the kids and teaching them too?!
@@KatieDeGo that’s why i said a better husband
The husband doesn't even sound like a father or a family member. Just watching from the sidelines
my thing with parents is that they dont realize THEY raised their children and their actions and behaviors are part of the reason their children behave the way they do
I am sorry mom .. when i went to college, thats the time i realised my moms hardwork ... Otherwise i would never have appreciated how much good she made me and the thought process that i got made me make right choice ...she is still there for me and whenever i go back home .. i try to help her as much as i can but omg she works a lot ... Full time being mom is the hardest thing ...kids think thats is their job and are not appreciated enough
First off picky eaters exist, secondly I'm not suprised that they expect you to pick them up from fucking school. Push for better communication with your husband, get him to do more household chores and shit, and maybe get your kids to cook their own food they're old enough. I also feel like you shouldn't of had another kid if you were having issues with your older children.
If your kids are untitled brats that’s your own fault. You raised them that way, whether you meant to or not.
You can do all the right things but kids sometimes will still go astray, or not reflect parenting. It happens...
Suddenly, I have the urge to go hug my mother and tell her just how grateful I am. Even though it’s not her birthday or Mother’s Day ❤😢
This is why I treat my mother with respect. I’ve noticed my older brother doesn’t treat her the best, so I do
I was listening to the song "whip your kids" by YFM right before seeing this video-
But You Ain't My Daffy?
But I'm Doin' Ya MOM
Sounds like she raised her kids poorly and now is suffering the consequences. Motherhood is a wonderful thing if you actually do it properly and appreciate the little moments. She messed it up.
"Make you're own food if you don't like what I make. You're old enough"
The kids are 12 and 14
@@NotVincentCharbonneau And??? Don't tell me mommy still hanf feeds you your food...
Also if they don't know how to cook, they can now. Like... think about it. In 4 years, that 14 year old will be out of high school and possibly either working and or in college. They need to know how to fend for themselves. Don't baby them and then at 18 expect them to know how to feed, cook, clean, and take care of themselves if they were never taught how to.
@@scarlet16moons5 You western people are weird as hell. Turning 18 doesn't magically make you an adult. She expects a 12 and 14 year old to drive, cook, clean etc. She's crazy
@@NotVincentCharbonneauWell at that age u should at least know how to cook a plate of pasta,also u can look up recipes,it’s not that hard.
Ladies, learn your lesson. There is no need to have children, be free and happy without responsibilities.
Imagine thinking your kids owe you just for existing
Kids owe their parents respect.
Kids do owe their parents. Especially kids that had parents that provided a home activities. Food shelter Love. Then you do know your parents stuff. And it's not just simply for existing. It's for all those other things. She's doing way more than the bare minimum.
@@LLandS18 Never have kids
@@NotVincentCharbonneau Oh yes, assuming that my children shouldn't be my internal slave because I grace them with my choice to bring them into this world. How about don't be such an an entitled Karen.
@@LLandS18 *eternal
So she's complaining about no one helping around the house but when they do help she complains about not wanting to praise them even though praising would help instill those good habits? This woman sounds like a nightmare to be around. Of course you have to pick up your children from school they're all under 16. She's acting like her children owe for the food and clothes they get. They don't they didn't ask to be born.
When you pick up after everyone and still don't get basic respect or acknowledgement, this is what happens
@@orangejuice775 Yeah no. She's one of those people who think they're doing their children a favour by feeding and sheltering them. She expects her 14 and 12 year old to get themselves to school and after school activities. She's crazy
@@NotVincentCharbonneau when you sacrifice all your personal time for them, cant get a thank you but they themselves expect otherwise doing their own chores is just hypocritical. No surprise she's experiencing a burn out. Children who don't show respect to their parents are called brats plain and simple. Parents, especially mothers aren't actually some holy heroes who will just do shyt for you, u give back too
@@orangejuice775 When you decide to have kids you need to understand that you'll have to make sacrifices and never have a peaceful moment
@@NotVincentCharbonneau oh so according to u parenting is hell. Alright, if u started with that there would be no conversation
They were just spoiled.
"Repair the damage that they did", maybe thats your problem right there. Being 100%strict isnt good but being 0% isnt either. When thwir grandparents are teaching them something you dont have the gut to do, dont undo the work untop of that
man this makes me wanna go give my mom a hug and say thank you. I really hope im not doing this to her
Honestly sounds like shes not a great mom. This whole idea of “every mom is a good mom” is how emotionally abusive or distant moms go their whole life thinking they’re doing it right. Her children are entitled because she never had boundaries or discipline. The kids do and say whatever they like and mom does nothing. This is just what comes of having a series of children that you keep alive but never actually bother to parent.
It takes two girl. You can’t expect people to change without 1. Mentioning they need to change 2. Tell them the behaviors that need to be fixed and 3. Realize it’s not all their fault.
And I also don’t get the point of “they don’t even ask anymore, they just expect me to pick them up” you just stated they’re 12 to 14 what else are they supposed to do.
She needs a supportive husband and a serious conversation with the children setting boundaries and serious punishments if they disobey
Mom is pissed her behavior of being a martyr is not being recognized. Teaching children (& husband) that zero effort gets everything is a form of trauma & abuse.
This all seems like a her problem she should’ve taught her young and impressionable kids not to be assholes or you know maybe after she realized she didn’t enjoy having kids stop having kids don’t make new ones if the old ones are annoying set firm boundaries
Her kids obviously her problem. Whose else would it be? Seems like she is taken for granted in her house by the kids' father and they're only picking up on that
I’d be willing to wager that if you raised them like their grandparents do they’d respect you a little more
While I aggree they probably wouldn't act this way a lot of other things would show up. Such as racism, sexism, and a bunch of things that were common back in the day
Or maybe if the father stepped in and didn't expect his wife to do everything and make her do everything because he just won't do it and then it doesn't get done. So she has to do it because these things need to be done in order for household to run. Maybe the kids wouldn't be so entitled.
My wife used to get so upset that the kids would listen to me and not her. When I told them to do something there would be consequences and I’d follow through. She would threaten them with not having Christmas or something stupid like that and they would ignore her. The kids knew where they stood with me, she would just yell and scream at them. Set clear boundaries and expectations and your kids will try to meet them. Scream and throw temper tantrums and your kids won’t do what they’re supposed to, they probably won’t even know what they’re supposed to be doing!
@@zugmeister314 Why don’t you tell your wife to do what you did. Did you enjoy seeing her suffer? This is the reason why I don’t kids. They can an asshole
Duuuude she needs a few days to herself with some supportive friends. My mom sometimes has "me time" when she can get it by going camping with friends & i fully understand she just wants to get away sometimes & wish her relaxation
Raise your kids right and they won't end up like this 😂
Sounds like she's just a terrible parent.
fr i was about to to say lol like she’s doing the bare minimum
technically, it’s the mother‘s fault because she had to do something to her children to make them believe that they can get away with anything
Or here's another take. The father. The husband does nothing. Expect his wife to do everything . Weaponized and competence and forces her to do things because if she doesn't do them they don't get done. And there's some things that have to get done because if they don't get done a household doesn't run. And the kids see their father behaving like that and they're like well. If Dad doesn't do have to do anything, why do I. But you're right, let's blame the only parent that's actually willing to parent their child. Not the other parent that behaveds like a child. No, they're just sweetened innocent little men that don't know what they're doing. You know how patronizing that attitude is to men.
@@LLandS18 also true
There is so much here that is left unsaid. I know a lot of people would disagree and I don’t really want to know more because that would delve into really personal stuff, but… when it comes to family issues. There’s so much that we don’t know. We don’t know the husband is like except what OP has said. We don’t know if the kids are spoiled brats or if there’s underlying issues. Growing up is tough, being a responsible parent is tough and life with a group of people is going to have its ups and downs because everyone has different opinions and experiences. So the most important thing a family can do is communicate. Communication is key for any relationship. Especially for the younger generation. Talk to your kids about your feelings and talk to your partner. Telling your kids you’re exhausted and need a break isn’t a bad thing. 🧐
where's super nanny when you need her..
Maybe you shouldn't have had another one then, genius.
That's what happens when you're a bad parent, lmao
Takes two to make a baby.
As a older sibling those older children are horrible.
Sounds like she needs to leave for a while. I don't mean permanently but a good while. Let them figure it out while she rests. Maybe it'll teach them to appreciate her more too.
The way relationships work is that both sides give effort 50/50, they way parenting works is that the child is fully dependent on the parent so it’s the parent’s responsibility to be dependable and also independent. Your children don’t owe you anything the relationship is 10/90 you have to teach and love the child until they’re independent enough to have the relationship efforts go up at max 40/60.
I’m not saying the lady is fully in the wrong, but society needs to be more honest on how parenting works, it’s not rainbows and sunshine.
I'm so sorry. However, this is the result of your raising, not just the result of their character.
"All kids should have parents but not all parents should have kids"
You can solve like all your problems with one word... No. Dont be a doormat
Honestly, I felt this. And I'm only 16.
My parents were neglectful and abusive assholes. My father physically and sexually (probably also mentally) abused me up until I was 11 (started at around 4 or 5) and my mother has been neglectful my whole life, I've always been the parent figure for myself and my little sister. And she doesn't appreciate everything I've given for her. I have saved up enough to get the fuck out of this house, yet I stay just to keep her safe from my mother's abusive tendencies and neglectful behaviour. I've been recommended to join countless advanced placement and advanced honors classes as well as teacher-recommendations-only after school activities, but I turn everything down for the sake of picking up my sister after school and looking after her. Back when my father still lived with us, I would regularly take hits for her and I sacrificed my own innocence to keep her safe. And yet she's not even a little grateful. She expects me to pick her up all the time and look after her every single day and cook for her and essentially be the parental figure I myself never had. Never a thank you or a please for me, but whenever my mother does anything as simple as turn the light in her room off during bedtime, she'll be all "thank you so much mom". It's honestly so fucking tiring.
be a better mother
Tell them to sit in your living room (or any room with seats) and talk to them about every issue, don’t feel bad if they feel uncomfortable because this is what has to be done to make everyone comfortable.
Bro if I were those kids dad they are gonnna get one hell of a reality check
Let the old school parents deal with the kids, it might seem bad short term but will really switch up the way the kids act after they get punished
Have one day where you don’t do anything to have your kids see how grateful they should be.
This is how my little brother treats my mom it makes me so upset I hate that this happens to you as well
I clean the whole house on a daily basis and my dad doesn’t do housework, so when he does every few months, he’ll just load the dishes. He tells me to come he here and look at how good he did even though I either had to help him arrange them or he just didn’t do it right. It sucks bc he always says that he doesn’t hang out around the house and just stays in his room so the mess is our fault. It’s half true bc he never leaves his room but when he does it’s to get another beer, eat, leave a beer can on the counter, or leave a dirty plate on the counter
Imagine spoiling your kids then playing the victim, you raised them it’s your fault