I’m glad people are loving her book. It’s a prime example of just because YOUR mother was amazing, doesn’t mean MINE was. Every child deserves a parent, not every parent deserves a child. Not EVERYONE needs to be a parent.
They kept remarking that “not all parents are great”. I kept waiting for someone to actually say “parents are just people who were too selfish to use protection”!
@@freedomlife3623 exactly. That’s why my wife and I chose not to have children. Not because you are “good people”, automatically it will make you a good parent.
Im 60 and i just started crying because i still would like a mother and a father that love me. Abuse and abandonment never goes away. I still pray for confort.
I see this saying a lot: No matter how old you are, you'll always need your parents. Like not necessarily to keep a roof over your head or pay for things for you but just that connection and support. I'm really sorry you have to go through that and I hope you'll find peace eventually.
I am right there with you. Through therapy I've worked a lot on being that person for myself. When I feel I am speaking or acting from my hurt child place internally giving myself that patience, understanding, love and acceptance I wish adults in my life would have shown me. It may sound hokey at first but after lots of practice I find it really helps.
It is! I couldn't put the book down! I had to exercise all my self control to stop for a while because I didn't wanna finish it. And also so heartbreaking
“I had to be an adult to understand what had happened when I was a child” That’s is SO TRUE if you go through a trauma as a child When you’re young is so hard to fully understand all the parts that were in play and how were you involved or how bad your situation is She is 100% right as a child it’s so hard to realize you’re being abused if that’s your normal
When I was young, I was abused and I thought that was the norm. I thought every kid gets hit and abused by their parents. What did I know I was just a little 6 year old kid. 😕
Thank you Anna for reminding people not everyone had a good mother. That is often overlooked when people criticize those of us who had very abusive mother. Thank you for the grace of understanding
Coming from someone who is coming to terms with how my parents have treated me my whole life, hearing everything in this video is so reassuring. Jeanette is an angel and I'm so happy and proud that she had the strength to pull through with this book and concur her trauma.
@@alexaherndon43 she reminds me of the burka this man was whipping inside a small room with bars on the windows. Apparently over several years she learned how to run climb the walls to avoid the whip. You can even see where thousands of her track marks are in the ceiling corners all around the small room like a roller coaster ride. I bet she dead or found away to float by now.
People use the excuse “CHILDREN DO NOT COME WITH INSTRUCTION MANUALS.” But they DO! There have been books available for decades on parenting techniques, the psychology of children, parenting styles, etc. If parents wanted to be decent and make an honest effort-they would. Instead, we excuse or normalize bad parenting with the automatic built-in idea that parents are on pedestals and deserve respect regardless. This book is an important conversation starter for broken children and adults who didn’t have loving relationships with their parents.
I wish both of my parents had gotten therapy and read parenting books before choosing to have children. It took me until my twenties to realize just how bad a lot of my childhood was.
Thank you so much for saying this. Someone had to lol I’m always infuriated when people say that. I had a therapist instruct my mom on what to do and not do to help me with an eating disorder. She disregarded it all and still says this. She also says she’d change things if she could go back, but repeats the same behaviors. Like ok Ma’am, you had a professional literally write customized step by step instructions for you. It’s not even that these people don’t know help is available because clearly when they are given direct help, they still don’t do what they’re told. They don’t regret their actions, they regret not having something they want, whether that’s a relationship with their kids as adults, grandkids,capable children, or being unable to keep their kids quiet and under their control. And it’s not that they didn’t know, they just didn’t want to or even didn’t feel able to change their actions. There is no valid excuse for child abuse. Using a tired old cliché does not excuse abuse.
@@MaybeYourMom21 Regardess wether someone said it here specifically, the fact is that a lot of parents teach according to their religion, which is not always the answer.
actually, before sam and cat was produced there were thoughts on making a show about sam (jennettes character) becoming a counselor for kids, but it eventually got scrapped, i wonder how it would’ve been like
@@mosesoutofwater370Thanks for sharing. I had no idea. That probably really would have helped her heal earlier. She matured so much. With all that Is going on with teens and their mental health lately, she would really be a great inspiration.❤
Nah. She deserves to have a life. I have a narci mom too and is alive I have 29 years old and wanted to be a psychologist once. But once I start healing like her just a few years ago, you realize you lost too many years in fear and suffer, and you are not able to be in charge of other peoples traumas yet.
My mother ruined my life. She was selfish, and emotionally abusive and left my grandmother to look after me. I hate her. I have not spoken to her for almost a decade and I am a better person without her in my life. I am a better person without her.
I hope you can heal from that trauma. Some people are not good for us, regardless of who they are. Best to surround ourselves with people that make us feel loved and worthy.
I haven’t spoke to my mom either. Shes a very narcissistic person and just upped and left my alcoholic abusive father to raise us. What a freakin nightmare that was!!
Get over it her parents were probably toxic too. Just stay away from her but you could be hating someone who in their mind does love you. You’re the one one here saying u hate her. That’s horrible.
The part in the book where she describes feeling jealous of Arianna for coming from a completely different healthy family, getting the love and support she needed than she did hits soo close to home.
I remember a teacher saying, "always obey your parents," and I asked, "what if they tell you to do something wrong?" Her reaction was to say with great confidence that parents would never tell their kids to do anything wrong. In that teacher's defense, it was a Catholic school.
that teacher must of been raised in a family to where the adults was always right no matter what and i'm SO SICK AND TIRED of grown adults thinking that kids have no feelings and yet they seriously wonder why kids are so rebellious and never wanna listen to their parents smh i'm so sorry
Jennette McCurdy really is a fantastic author. Not only is she talking about things that need to be talked about, she has such a distinct narrative voice. When I finished the book I felt like I'd lost a friend.
Sunny said about some parents that “they don’t know how to do it” but I don’t think that’s the issue. The problem is when some parents either never wanted or perhaps no longer want to do it. There are plenty of people who adore their parents who did their best but failed often. The real hurt comes from those that decided it wasn’t worth their time or energy
I caught that too. I wish someone had said there's a difference between 'I tried and I messed up' vs. 'It was my goal to break your spirit.' There's a difference.
Exactly. No baby comes with a manual. I think that, even if you don’t know but you want to be a good parent, you just learn daily. I had great parents(basically I know) but parenting isn’t in me. So my wife and I chose not to have kids. Don’t bring children in this world if you aren’t willing to take the full journey. I hate this excuse of, it was a mistake.😒😒😒😒
I legitimately feel pain when I hear this poor woman speak about how she was treated. I wish for her happiness, healthy relationships and true happiness..
Too many times I have met people who were victimized by their parents or guardians and it breaks my heart. Like Anna, I had the luxury of growing up with great parents and I think she said it best, "Not every parent deserves to be put on a pedestal." In my opinion, that is something that must be earned! FYI: I love the book title.
Jennette McCurdy is the only person I could stomach watching The View for, because I relate & empathize with her & her story so much. That being said, I absolutely adore her & have so much respect for her & everything she has been through - especially deciding to write about it & tell the world.
I am 66 years old and still healing from my dysfunctional family. One of my life lesson is to love myself and to love others as I love myself. Money and things were always more important than people.
The audiobook is breathtaking; the moment she's narrating the conversation where her first therapist said that her mom was abusive, Jennette gets emotional and chokes up-something that's very unusual, as she is extremely articulate. I'm SO glad they left it in the audiobook. It's so raw, emotional, and absolutely beautiful.
I was 31 before I realized I was abused. I was visiting my sister after not seeing her for years, and it came up in conversation. I had been internalizing so much responsibility for my parents mental health.
God, the part where she didn't realize for a long time that her mom was abusive hit close to home. My mom is doing a lot better as a person and our relationship is getting better but she could be soooooo emotionally abusive at times. I'm 29 years old and I didn't realize what she put us through was abuse until two years ago. When I told an old friend that I think my mom might be abusive, she gave me a 🤨 face and goes "you're just now figuring this out?"
She really made me feel so seen, didn't have good parents myself. Experienced so much of what she did. Thank you so much Jennette I'm feeling stronger knowing I'm not alone here I cried reading the book
For everyone who’s thinking about reading or buying this book DO IT. And bring your tissues. I would 100% recommended the audio version where she reads it to you. There are parts where she breaks down and cries and it breaks your heart even more.💔
it is so nice to hear people who have had good parents to still hear her out and validate her. so many people don’t understand or don’t believe u when u gain the courage to speak up about ur parents abusive consistent and intentional behavior
As a Mom, this book was super hard to read.. Whoppi is right there were light moments to cut the tension.. but I kept wanting to be the character that ran into the story and got her and her brothers out of that sistuation.
I couldn't even get past the first chapter. Her thinking that her dropping to 89 lbs would be the one thing that would wake her mother from her coma because it was SO IMPORTANT just wrenched my heart. I'm glad she's better.
When I read the book I couldnt fathom that this intelligent well-spoken bubbly individual I see on these interviews was the same person in the pages experiencing such extreme abuse. The amount of recovery and self improvement she's made is so wonderful and I'm so happy for her! I genuinely hope she's doing well now. I loved the chapter about the chocolate chip cookie, was such an Ernest moment that made me very emotional.
A lot of abused children create a split within themselves: the public face, the private face and the face they show their abuser. Going to therapy went a long way for abuse victims to stop trying to hide who they are, and become a solid, whole, genuine people.
I typically don’t read biographies or memoirs, but since I’m in therapy seeking to come to terms with my own childhood PTSD, I’m going to listen to this book in Audible. I like the way I see Janette carrying herself and how she speaks humbly, I think I can learn from her.
I read this book in 4 days and god the impact and the way you see her in a really different version it’s like a new person the growth and mature she has been through to get to it is so sad yet amazing to see a person do all of that + I adore her and her writing style and I will be reading her future books
Im a 26 year old guy, grew up in the age range her show was aimed at. I lost my dad at age 12 from a 9/11 related cancer officially recognized by the state of new york as a 9/11 related illness. He was a police officer in nassau county at a precinct on the border of queens NY. My father was loving but I don't think I ever loved him back because his discipline was abusive. He would get very angry very fast over regular kid stuff. The title of her book really resonates with me. I was 12 and I knew if my father was alive he was going to make my high school years a nightmare trying to control me. I felt glad he was no longer suffering but I was also glad he was gone and couldn't tell me what to do anymore. It sparked a lot of guilt that I deal with to this day.
From what I have read from her book, she looks like she could be a really good comedic writer. I know she has said she is done with acting but wants to work behind the scenes so this good be a good avenue for her.
I’m so glad she shared. My mom had the best intentions but I completely relate to her story. It’s so hard to admit the bad. Great job healing and helping heal others.
I just got her book...and literally have read 13 chapters in a couple hours....extremely well written, sad, and funny....highly recommend the book.. Not every parent deserves to be on a pedestal...very accurate
The title is brilliant. Because of that, ppl will be curious, become nosy and will buy the book. Congrats for coming thru that yoyo abusive relationship.
I wish someone would ask her what her next book is going to be. She’s a very successful author and perhaps her career as a writer should be encouraged.
My mum was so violent towards us. Took her anger out on us. Caused me so much deep shame and trauma that I'm having to work very hard to overcome it. Healing takes up most of my energy but I won't stop
Thank you Jennette McCurdy for showing the world that some of us have some really crappy parents. I really think because of religion, we do have to worship our parents and never question what they are doing. That is fine for kids who aren't being abused sexually, physically, and mentally. Thanks for 'normalizing' having bad parents and for giving those of us who do have them, some legitimacy. You are an angel to those of us who have felt deep pain because other people couldn't empathize. You are helping the world to grow their empathy. Many blessings to you for being such a voice of honesty and strength!
Jeanette is telling her story in a way she had chosen to and I think that is important. She is brave and seems like such a genuine soul so I am beyond happy she is getting this recognition. Hope her book helps people heal or at least start conversations.
My living conditions were nowhere near as bad as hers. But I know exactly what it feels to be at the mercy of a mom who's moods are unpredictable and scary. My heart would start pounding when my mom got home from work and by the way she would drive and enter the home flinging her stuff around we knew if it was safe to approach. At that time we were living in a small 2 bedroom apartment and I shared a room with my mom so there was literally nowhere to hide. So survival instinct taught me to just please her any way I can and stay out of her way. I blocked these memories out for so long and in my mid 20's I started remembering them and my god, I struggled. I was an emotional wreck trying to deal with the effects. For the first time I had to heal the scars I never knew were there, and at the same time grapple with how this was my mom who hurt me so badly. I'm sending so much love to anyone at the beginning stages of the healing process. Just know it does get better and you are not selfish for prioritizing yourself.
i can totally relate to what you are writing here...also i had the issue that when i got older that i often told myself..well my dad wasnt that bad..he only used to beat me up until i was around 12 years old..some kids get beaten up their whole life...or well after that it was only emotional trauma...like i used to downplay everything he did to me cause some kids have it way worse..and it took a very long time to just accept the kind of abuse he put me through and to draw conclusions for my own life and for my own mental health.
I took a Postgraduate Certificate in Emotional Education (PGCEE) to understand my traumatic childhood with my mother because I couldn't afford therapy. I figured I would do it myself. Now I'm writing my own book psychology based interlaced with my personal experiences to help others understand how to get out of that dark prison of fear, anxiety, depression and powerlessness. I am thrilled to hear of this book and am going to order it right now. My mother is almost 80 and still hasn't 'croaked' yet!
There are thousands of people that have horrible parents. This young lady was one of the lucky ones from that group. She survive it, and now is share her story. I always say that if we needed a licenses for parenting, many would not qualify. It is, one of the hardest jobs in the world after all.
Só proud of her growth and strength. She is an incredible women It truly so sad the thousands of parents out there that should never be parents and have traumatized their children Good for her for shedding a light on it. So proud of all she has accomplished
it's extremely sad how we keep hearing these kinds of stories from our favorite childhood stars but this is the way to fully explain your whole experience i'm so happy that she finally had the courage to speak up and explain what happened i'm more happy at the fact that the BLACK COMMUNITY is speaking up on child abuse i grew up with a toxic mother myself so i know EXACTLY where she's coming from with the title this book is a true wake up call to all of the toxic families i grew up with a family thinking that anything that i do just HAD to be about the adults and NOT for me wherever my mom went i had to go with her and represent her she made me dress a certain way i never had a birthday or graduation party where it was just me and my friends my mom's friends just HAD to be there and my mom took advantage of me and if i did say how i felt that everyone would of thought that i was the crazy one and she turned everyone against me but now i'm 31 years old and i couldn't be anymore happier to finally stand up for myself and i will NEVER EVER let anyone control my life THANK YOU JENNETTE
I am so sorry for what you have endured. In our community we CROWN Mothers with being strong and sacrificing when there are abusive Mothers and NOBODY is checking their abuse. Verbal or physical. It's wrong. Peach McIntyre just uploaded a video about her abusive Mom. So many people have the NERVE to call her a liar. If you notice , the women at the View seemed to have a hard time EMPATHIZING with her. Talking about how GREAT their Mom's are. I want to hug her through the screen. She is HELPING us by sharing her story. I hope you are well. I understand your story.
Its probably cause in order to be a child star you almost have to have had parents who are very pushy and controlling cause most small kids dont go out of there way to say cant wait to spend hours and hours on set and then travel to meetings and learn lines etc. Most kids would choose to just play so it almost always the parent who is responsible for the kid’s ”dream”.
The abuse that continues to happen in the black community is a story that needs to be told. I was & kinda still estranged from many in my family because of the realization of what happen to me with the beatings that are still normalize today. Kudos for speaking up.
It should have us more aware of child abuse. If your child is following their dreams that's fine but parents using their children is disgusting. Hollywood will always have people who do not care but parents are suppose to protect their children.
That’s very sweet for Anna to open up her heart and share something so personal. Both Anna and Jeannette mccurdy are helping allot of people heal literally good karma for them both 🙏🏼♥️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
As a child one of the biggest lessons I had to learn was forgiving. Everyone's journey might not be same nevertheless I appreciate reading transparency in storytelling
That uncomfortable chuckle when they brought up iCarly said so much.I just read Jennette's book and hearing what she went through while making that show is rough to say the least.
When I listen to stories like this is when I thank god for the mom I have, I have a great mother and I love her with all my heart she literally is my best friend and who I go to for my moments of happiness as well as the moment of fear and sadness and I know she would always be there for me, perhaps even when she won’t be here physically I know she’ll still be here ❤🙌🏻
WOW 4 weeks at no.1, I've been keeping up with Jenette's story for a while now and I am glad to see her bring it to light with the public's full attention in addition to this serving as a bit of a revival to her career.
She’s a hero of mine now. I’m 48 and much older but I shut my mother out in my 20’s. Will not regret it and hate how others don’t relate to me situation.
Her book really is just amazing, I also listened to the audiobook and it's absolutely insane and she really knows how to find the dark comedy in everything that happened. It's such a powerful story and she's such a great writer, absolutely amazing and heartbreaking.
I’ve been listening to her audiobook with her narrating it and it’s been really good her life that she went through is so sad I can understand why her mother forced her to do acting her song in her album stronger makes sense now even if she retired from acting I still watch her iCarly and Sam and cat and I am thankful she did the right thing
I can't help but be a bit sad for her when interviewers bring up I Carly and that's how she became as famous as she is, When I've seen during other interviews she's expressed how much she hated the show and being this Sam character.
I have so much love for her writing this. I grew up with an nmom and it really messed with my growth in society. Not like career wise but socially. It took a while to get over the damage that was done when i was a kid
I watched I carley with my daughter she was 5 we got into watching it. She kept me and my daughter laughing love you j. I hope you are healed from what you have been through xoxo
I listened to her reading of her book on Spotify and just felt so proud of her for fighting through all of the manipulation everyone threw at her. Her family, those in her career, her romantic partners… I have SO much love for this woman I’ve never even met.
Her story lays threadbare the sick underbelly of the entertainment industry as well. In some way, it joins forces with the same narrative as Rose McGowan but in an of course different direction-parental neglect, stage parenting, and emotionally abusive creators and producers. I was weaned on Nickelodeon in the 90s as a kid. But as an adult those live shows make me feel super weirded out. I never watched iCarly as I was too old already but seeing clips on CZcams makes one wonder what those poor kids went through.
Proud of her for being brave. She was dealing with an eating disorder while her character ate all the time. I agree that it's important to realize that not everyone has great parents. And she's right. When growing up in an abusive home as child, you don't see that it's not normal.
What a beautifully done interview. Amazingly refreshing to watch this panel of well spoken, brilliant, and sincere humans discuss some incredibly challenging issues. Thank you and keep it up! 🙏🏽👏🏽🫶🏽
Can’t wait to get her book, love Jeanette! Such a inspiration for sharing her story, so much insanity, dysfunctional abuse. So glad she is still here. Love her laugh, candid sweet kind talented personality and humour. What a cute retro vintage chic looking beauty and so articulate/ intelligent. Love what she’s wearing and her ponytail. 🤍 😍🥰😘🤩 🌟 ✨ 📚 ✍🏻 🫶🏻👏🏻💪🏻👑💎⚜️
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I’m glad people are loving her book. It’s a prime example of just because YOUR mother was amazing, doesn’t mean MINE was. Every child deserves a parent, not every parent deserves a child. Not EVERYONE needs to be a parent.
Exactly!
They kept remarking that “not all parents are great”. I kept waiting for someone to actually say “parents are just people who were too selfish to use protection”!
Wish some people had the self awareness not to be parents. Specially for those selfish people, including my parents.
Well said..
@@freedomlife3623 exactly. That’s why my wife and I chose not to have children. Not because you are “good people”, automatically it will make you a good parent.
Im 60 and i just started crying because i still would like a mother and a father that love me. Abuse and abandonment never goes away. I still pray for confort.
Me too. I'm 58. I want to rent a dad, a real dad.
I see this saying a lot: No matter how old you are, you'll always need your parents. Like not necessarily to keep a roof over your head or pay for things for you but just that connection and support. I'm really sorry you have to go through that and I hope you'll find peace eventually.
Have you tried therapy? Janette credits therapy with helping her heal and overcome her eating disorder.
I pray for you too
I am right there with you. Through therapy I've worked a lot on being that person for myself. When I feel I am speaking or acting from my hurt child place internally giving myself that patience, understanding, love and acceptance I wish adults in my life would have shown me. It may sound hokey at first but after lots of practice I find it really helps.
She's excellent at articulating her thoughts. This is an excellent example of turning one's mess into one's message. This book looks worth the read.
yes she's incredibly articulate!
I listen due to audible
@@justgeephillyburbs I just found it on Spotify
The book Is incredibe and broadens your perspective
It is! I couldn't put the book down! I had to exercise all my self control to stop for a while because I didn't wanna finish it. And also so heartbreaking
“I had to be an adult to understand what had happened when I was a child”
That’s is SO TRUE if you go through a trauma as a child
When you’re young is so hard to fully understand all the parts that were in play and how were you involved or how bad your situation is
She is 100% right as a child it’s so hard to realize you’re being abused if that’s your normal
Well duh 🙄
Yes! And it’s absolutely so important to have that “aha moment.” Not only to process your own trauma, but go beyond it and break the cycle. 👏❤️
@@missld6856 shutup hater go under a rock
When I was young, I was abused and I thought that was the norm. I thought every kid gets hit and abused by their parents. What did I know I was just a little 6 year old kid. 😕
And that’s where the adults should come in to protect them.. but that doesn’t always happen.
“They don’t make Mother’s Day cards for abusive parents” 😂😂💀💀 So true!!!!
Thank you Anna for reminding people not everyone had a good mother. That is often overlooked when people criticize those of us who had very abusive mother. Thank you for the grace of understanding
You are right about that I have seen vicious comments about how terrible Jeannette is for writing about how evil her mother was
They aldeady get called out and franed.. patriarchy forces bad fathers on us. He is the pro lem but false shown as a solution
"She's done so much for you" "Look at all of the sacrifices she's made" "A mother would never ____" and the list goes on, and on, and on, and on.
Yeah, people are naive and stupid.
@@hannahwalmer1124 Yeah they say all that without being raised by that person themselves.
Coming from someone who is coming to terms with how my parents have treated me my whole life, hearing everything in this video is so reassuring. Jeanette is an angel and I'm so happy and proud that she had the strength to pull through with this book and concur her trauma.
Sonny climbs walls like a goat. You would to if your radical islamic is hubby beat you like one. She likes it
Honor killing is a helluva hobby😂🤣😂
@@changingoftheguard7256
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Q Azusa
@@alexaherndon43 she reminds me of the burka this man was whipping inside a small room with bars on the windows. Apparently over several years she learned how to run climb the walls to avoid the whip. You can even see where thousands of her track marks are in the ceiling corners all around the small room like a roller coaster ride. I bet she dead or found away to float by now.
Same with my folks. They treat me like garbage my whole life, too.😞
People use the excuse “CHILDREN DO NOT COME WITH INSTRUCTION MANUALS.” But they DO! There have been books available for decades on parenting techniques, the psychology of children, parenting styles, etc. If parents wanted to be decent and make an honest effort-they would. Instead, we excuse or normalize bad parenting with the automatic built-in idea that parents are on pedestals and deserve respect regardless. This book is an important conversation starter for broken children and adults who didn’t have loving relationships with their parents.
I wish both of my parents had gotten therapy and read parenting books before choosing to have children. It took me until my twenties to realize just how bad a lot of my childhood was.
@@kiabellie4987 they didnt even say a word abt religion girl
Thank you so much for saying this. Someone had to lol
I’m always infuriated when people say that. I had a therapist instruct my mom on what to do and not do to help me with an eating disorder. She disregarded it all and still says this.
She also says she’d change things if she could go back, but repeats the same behaviors.
Like ok Ma’am, you had a professional literally write customized step by step instructions for you. It’s not even that these people don’t know help is available because clearly when they are given direct help, they still don’t do what they’re told. They don’t regret their actions, they regret not having something they want, whether that’s a relationship with their kids as adults, grandkids,capable children, or being unable to keep their kids quiet and under their control. And it’s not that they didn’t know, they just didn’t want to or even didn’t feel able to change their actions.
There is no valid excuse for child abuse. Using a tired old cliché does not excuse abuse.
@@kiabellie4987 I was not referring to the Bible - at all.
@@MaybeYourMom21 Regardess wether someone said it here specifically, the fact is that a lot of parents teach according to their religion, which is not always the answer.
She is so sweet. She should be a counselor/therapist for children in Hollywood.
actually, before sam and cat was produced there were thoughts on making a show about sam (jennettes character) becoming a counselor for kids, but it eventually got scrapped, i wonder how it would’ve been like
@@mosesoutofwater370Thanks for sharing. I had no idea. That probably really would have helped her heal earlier. She matured so much. With all that Is going on with teens and their mental health lately, she would really be a great inspiration.❤
@@mosesoutofwater370 no way! Is this real? If so they need to put this idea back on in a modern way.
I can definitely see that.
Nah. She deserves to have a life. I have a narci mom too and is alive I have 29 years old and wanted to be a psychologist once. But once I start healing like her just a few years ago, you realize you lost too many years in fear and suffer, and you are not able to be in charge of other peoples traumas yet.
My mother ruined my life. She was selfish, and emotionally abusive and left my grandmother to look after me. I hate her. I have not spoken to her for almost a decade and I am a better person without her in my life. I am a better person without her.
I hope you can heal from that trauma. Some people are not good for us, regardless of who they are. Best to surround ourselves with people that make us feel loved and worthy.
Sorry you had to experience that
Thank God for grandmothers
I haven’t spoke to my mom either. Shes a very narcissistic person and just upped and left my alcoholic abusive father to raise us. What a freakin nightmare that was!!
Get over it her parents were probably toxic too. Just stay away from her but you could be hating someone who in their mind does love you. You’re the one one here saying u hate her. That’s horrible.
The part in the book where she describes feeling jealous of Arianna for coming from a completely different healthy family, getting the love and support she needed than she did hits soo close to home.
Jeanette is very brave to share her struggles.
Sonny climbs walls like a goat 🤣😂honor killing is a helluva hobby🤣
How self absorbed do you have to be to dislike the title of the book because you had a good relationship with your mother?? Are you serious???
I remember a teacher saying, "always obey your parents," and I asked, "what if they tell you to do something wrong?" Her reaction was to say with great confidence that parents would never tell their kids to do anything wrong. In that teacher's defense, it was a Catholic school.
So horrible! Sorry you had to go through that.
that teacher must of been raised in a family to where the adults was always right no matter what and i'm SO SICK AND TIRED of grown adults thinking that kids have no feelings and yet they seriously wonder why kids are so rebellious and never wanna listen to their parents smh i'm so sorry
Just like Priests never will tell you to do something wrong? 😳
I think I would have further challenged her to be honest
I've been obsessed with her story. I cannot wait to get a copy of her physical book. Her story is so important. It'll change lives.
You are right this book is so important
I recommend an audio version
@@Mel0nMel I am listening to the Audio version but definitely want a physical copy when I can get one 😊
I also recommend you check out "Glass Castle" & "Mommie Dearest"
Jennette McCurdy really is a fantastic author. Not only is she talking about things that need to be talked about, she has such a distinct narrative voice. When I finished the book I felt like I'd lost a friend.
the worst part about this is she was such an amazing actress and i wish that experience wasn't ruined for her
She said recently that she may consider acting again if she had the right role.
Sunny said about some parents that “they don’t know how to do it” but I don’t think that’s the issue. The problem is when some parents either never wanted or perhaps no longer want to do it. There are plenty of people who adore their parents who did their best but failed often. The real hurt comes from those that decided it wasn’t worth their time or energy
I caught that too. I wish someone had said there's a difference between 'I tried and I messed up' vs. 'It was my goal to break your spirit.' There's a difference.
@@courtneyz4015 This! Spot on 🎯💯👏🏽👏🏽
Exactly. No baby comes with a manual.
I think that, even if you don’t know but you want to be a good parent, you just learn daily.
I had great parents(basically I know) but parenting isn’t in me. So my wife and I chose not to have kids.
Don’t bring children in this world if you aren’t willing to take the full journey. I hate this excuse of, it was a mistake.😒😒😒😒
Some aren't patents but only birthgivers.
People who dont know what to do also don't take advice from people who do know.
Every child deserves a parent, but not EVERY parent deserves a child.
Well done Jennette on your book!!! 💙
I legitimately feel pain when I hear this poor woman speak about how she was treated. I wish for her happiness, healthy relationships and true happiness..
Too many times I have met people who were victimized by their parents or guardians and it breaks my heart. Like Anna, I had the luxury of growing up with great parents and I think she said it best, "Not every parent deserves to be put on a pedestal." In my opinion, that is something that must be earned! FYI: I love the book title.
Jennette McCurdy is the only person I could stomach watching The View for, because I relate & empathize with her & her story so much.
That being said, I absolutely adore her & have so much respect for her & everything she has been through - especially deciding to write about it & tell the world.
her book is incredible. so happy for her success. so happy to see her on the view! thank you Jennette for sharing your story with all of us!
I am 66 years old and still healing from my dysfunctional family. One of my life lesson is to love myself and to love others as I love myself. Money and things were always more important than people.
I'm 65 and right there with ya.😔
Much love to both of you, you deserve to be healed and feel loved :(
@@dummydootsie6186 Thank you! 🥰
I’m 58 and it was both of my parents that were HORRIBLE!
Her book is the new version of “mommie dearest”. Glad to hear that she’s healing that and that she’s being open about her traumatic childhood
I agree. I recommend everyone check out "Mommie Dearest" as well. Also the "Glass Castle"
She’s finally getting her flowers and praise and didn’t have to sell her soul. She told her truth. Jeanette won in the end!!!!
Catch it! @arianagrande
The audiobook is breathtaking; the moment she's narrating the conversation where her first therapist said that her mom was abusive, Jennette gets emotional and chokes up-something that's very unusual, as she is extremely articulate. I'm SO glad they left it in the audiobook. It's so raw, emotional, and absolutely beautiful.
She's extremely smart and articulate
I was 31 before I realized I was abused. I was visiting my sister after not seeing her for years, and it came up in conversation. I had been internalizing so much responsibility for my parents mental health.
God, the part where she didn't realize for a long time that her mom was abusive hit close to home. My mom is doing a lot better as a person and our relationship is getting better but she could be soooooo emotionally abusive at times. I'm 29 years old and I didn't realize what she put us through was abuse until two years ago. When I told an old friend that I think my mom might be abusive, she gave me a 🤨 face and goes "you're just now figuring this out?"
She speaks with such elegance
My mother was a monster too. I love this young Ladies bravery.
Growing up with self-centered parents doesn't feel like as much of a lone experience now that Jennette has shared her story.
She really made me feel so seen, didn't have good parents myself. Experienced so much of what she did. Thank you so much Jennette I'm feeling stronger knowing I'm not alone here I cried reading the book
Exactly, she validated what me and many goes through.
For everyone who’s thinking about reading or buying this book DO IT. And bring your tissues. I would 100% recommended the audio version where she reads it to you. There are parts where she breaks down and cries and it breaks your heart even more.💔
it is so nice to hear people who have had good parents to still hear her out and validate her. so many people don’t understand or don’t believe u when u gain the courage to speak up about ur parents abusive consistent and intentional behavior
I love her smile when they tell her how successful her book is. Just pure joy, and she surely deserves it.
As a Mom, this book was super hard to read.. Whoppi is right there were light moments to cut the tension.. but I kept wanting to be the character that ran into the story and got her and her brothers out of that sistuation.
I couldn't even get past the first chapter. Her thinking that her dropping to 89 lbs would be the one thing that would wake her mother from her coma because it was SO IMPORTANT just wrenched my heart. I'm glad she's better.
When I read the book I couldnt fathom that this intelligent well-spoken bubbly individual I see on these interviews was the same person in the pages experiencing such extreme abuse. The amount of recovery and self improvement she's made is so wonderful and I'm so happy for her! I genuinely hope she's doing well now. I loved the chapter about the chocolate chip cookie, was such an Ernest moment that made me very emotional.
A lot of abused children create a split within themselves: the public face, the private face and the face they show their abuser. Going to therapy went a long way for abuse victims to stop trying to hide who they are, and become a solid, whole, genuine people.
Can’t wait to see into what she evolves. After shedding so much…there must be something greater under there. ❤️
I hope she finds peace. God bless her
Ehh she won't. She's on her way to get forced fkd. Like the rest of the hosts
Honor killing is a helluva hobby 😂🤣
I typically don’t read biographies or memoirs, but since I’m in therapy seeking to come to terms with my own childhood PTSD, I’m going to listen to this book in Audible. I like the way I see Janette carrying herself and how she speaks humbly, I think I can learn from her.
I will say! Reading memoirs has helped me on my own journey alongside therapy. I’ve found memoirs to be great connectors with people.
I read this book in 4 days and god the impact and the way you see her in a really different version it’s like a new person the growth and mature she has been through to get to it is so sad yet amazing to see a person do all of that + I adore her and her writing style and I will be reading her future books
Im a 26 year old guy, grew up in the age range her show was aimed at. I lost my dad at age 12 from a 9/11 related cancer officially recognized by the state of new york as a 9/11 related illness. He was a police officer in nassau county at a precinct on the border of queens NY. My father was loving but I don't think I ever loved him back because his discipline was abusive. He would get very angry very fast over regular kid stuff. The title of her book really resonates with me. I was 12 and I knew if my father was alive he was going to make my high school years a nightmare trying to control me. I felt glad he was no longer suffering but I was also glad he was gone and couldn't tell me what to do anymore. It sparked a lot of guilt that I deal with to this day.
From what I have read from her book, she looks like she could be a really good comedic writer. I know she has said she is done with acting but wants to work behind the scenes so this good be a good avenue for her.
I’m so glad she shared. My mom had the best intentions but I completely relate to her story. It’s so hard to admit the bad. Great job healing and helping heal others.
Not all mothers are kind and nurturing. I appreciate her for being open and honest about what happened to her as a child. This book is so powerful.
I just got her book...and literally have read 13 chapters in a couple hours....extremely well written, sad, and funny....highly recommend the book..
Not every parent deserves to be on a pedestal...very accurate
The title is brilliant. Because of that, ppl will be curious, become nosy and will buy the book. Congrats for coming thru that yoyo abusive relationship.
I wish someone would ask her what her next book is going to be. She’s a very successful author and perhaps her career as a writer should be encouraged.
My mum was so violent towards us. Took her anger out on us. Caused me so much deep shame and trauma that I'm having to work very hard to overcome it. Healing takes up most of my energy but I won't stop
I really hope she’s gotten over the eating disorders her mother inflicted on her 😞
Thank you Jennette McCurdy for showing the world that some of us have some really crappy parents. I really think because of religion, we do have to worship our parents and never question what they are doing. That is fine for kids who aren't being abused sexually, physically, and mentally. Thanks for 'normalizing' having bad parents and for giving those of us who do have them, some legitimacy. You are an angel to those of us who have felt deep pain because other people couldn't empathize. You are helping the world to grow their empathy. Many blessings to you for being such a voice of honesty and strength!
Just reading her book atm. It’s great. I had no idea who she was but picked it up anyway. I’m glad I did. She seems like a lovely woman.
This is just one example of why we should not judge others at all; keep an open mind at all times
I have had this realization myself... Always keep your mind open... ♥️☺️
Jeanette is telling her story in a way she had chosen to and I think that is important. She is brave and seems like such a genuine soul so I am beyond happy she is getting this recognition. Hope her book helps people heal or at least start conversations.
Reminds me of Mommie Dearest written by Joan Crawford's daugter.
Yessss
My living conditions were nowhere near as bad as hers. But I know exactly what it feels to be at the mercy of a mom who's moods are unpredictable and scary. My heart would start pounding when my mom got home from work and by the way she would drive and enter the home flinging her stuff around we knew if it was safe to approach. At that time we were living in a small 2 bedroom apartment and I shared a room with my mom so there was literally nowhere to hide. So survival instinct taught me to just please her any way I can and stay out of her way. I blocked these memories out for so long and in my mid 20's I started remembering them and my god, I struggled. I was an emotional wreck trying to deal with the effects. For the first time I had to heal the scars I never knew were there, and at the same time grapple with how this was my mom who hurt me so badly. I'm sending so much love to anyone at the beginning stages of the healing process. Just know it does get better and you are not selfish for prioritizing yourself.
i can totally relate to what you are writing here...also i had the issue that when i got older that i often told myself..well my dad wasnt that bad..he only used to beat me up until i was around 12 years old..some kids get beaten up their whole life...or well after that it was only emotional trauma...like i used to downplay everything he did to me cause some kids have it way worse..and it took a very long time to just accept the kind of abuse he put me through and to draw conclusions for my own life and for my own mental health.
Thank you, Jennette for sharing your story. You are so strong and brave!!
I think so many of us had abusive or neglectful parents as well so a book like this makes us feel seen.
I love how you can easily tell how deeply she listens to the interviewers points of view
I took a Postgraduate Certificate in Emotional Education (PGCEE) to understand my traumatic childhood with my mother because I couldn't afford therapy. I figured I would do it myself. Now I'm writing my own book psychology based interlaced with my personal experiences to help others understand how to get out of that dark prison of fear, anxiety, depression and powerlessness.
I am thrilled to hear of this book and am going to order it right now. My mother is almost 80 and still hasn't 'croaked' yet!
There are thousands of people that have horrible parents. This young lady was one of the lucky ones from that group. She survive it, and now is share her story.
I always say that if we needed a licenses for parenting, many would not qualify. It is, one of the hardest jobs in the world after all.
Só proud of her growth and strength. She is an incredible women
It truly so sad the thousands of parents out there that should never be parents and have traumatized their children
Good for her for shedding a light on it. So proud of all she has accomplished
So much love for this amazing woman! So proud of you!
I have to say, her writing skills are masterful. The book is incredible.
it's extremely sad how we keep hearing these kinds of stories from our favorite childhood stars but this is the way to fully explain your whole experience i'm so happy that she finally had the courage to speak up and explain what happened i'm more happy at the fact that the BLACK COMMUNITY is speaking up on child abuse i grew up with a toxic mother myself so i know EXACTLY where she's coming from with the title this book is a true wake up call to all of the toxic families i grew up with a family thinking that anything that i do just HAD to be about the adults and NOT for me wherever my mom went i had to go with her and represent her she made me dress a certain way i never had a birthday or graduation party where it was just me and my friends my mom's friends just HAD to be there and my mom took advantage of me and if i did say how i felt that everyone would of thought that i was the crazy one and she turned everyone against me but now i'm 31 years old and i couldn't be anymore happier to finally stand up for myself and i will NEVER EVER let anyone control my life THANK YOU JENNETTE
I am so sorry for what you have endured. In our community we CROWN Mothers with being strong and sacrificing when there are abusive Mothers and NOBODY is checking their abuse.
Verbal or physical. It's wrong. Peach McIntyre just uploaded a video about her abusive Mom.
So many people have the NERVE to call her a liar. If you notice , the women at the View seemed to have a hard time EMPATHIZING with her. Talking about how GREAT their Mom's are.
I want to hug her through the screen. She is HELPING us by sharing her story. I hope you are well. I understand your story.
Its probably cause in order to be a child star you almost have to have had parents who are very pushy and controlling cause most small kids dont go out of there way to say cant wait to spend hours and hours on set and then travel to meetings and learn lines etc. Most kids would choose to just play so it almost always the parent who is responsible for the kid’s ”dream”.
The abuse that continues to happen in the black community is a story that needs to be told. I was & kinda still estranged from many in my family because of the realization of what happen to me with the beatings that are still normalize today. Kudos for speaking up.
I'm so glad for the younger generations making this ok.
I'll BE glad, when my mum dies, I can say that now.
It should have us more aware of child abuse. If your child is following their dreams that's fine but parents using their children is disgusting. Hollywood will always have people who do not care but parents are suppose to protect their children.
That’s very sweet for Anna to open up her heart and share something so personal. Both Anna and Jeannette mccurdy are helping allot of people heal literally good karma for them both 🙏🏼♥️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Wow, the elegance and grace in which she spoke was wonderful.
You can literally feel that she’s in the process of healing now. The careful care Jeanette is giving herself… she would make an incredible mom…!
She’s so beautiful and candid! We appreciate your transparency 💜
As a child one of the biggest lessons I had to learn was forgiving. Everyone's journey might not be same nevertheless I appreciate reading transparency in storytelling
That uncomfortable chuckle when they brought up iCarly said so much.I just read Jennette's book and hearing what she went through while making that show is rough to say the least.
“They don’t make Mother’s Day cards for abusive moms” UGUH had to pause and marinate in that
i understand her so much, it makes me so sad that i'm in a similar situation.. having an abusive family is the worst
When I listen to stories like this is when I thank god for the mom I have, I have a great mother and I love her with all my heart she literally is my best friend and who I go to for my moments of happiness as well as the moment of fear and sadness and I know she would always be there for me, perhaps even when she won’t be here physically I know she’ll still be here ❤🙌🏻
I don’t have similar stories, but I have a tragic drama in my life as well, and I’m ready to write my book
I’m so happy that people who have been through experiences similar to this now have the spotlight and a flare has been shot out. ❤
When she said "I picked it out myself" 😌 her mom controlled everything and I'm glad she feels confident in her own choices!
WOW 4 weeks at no.1, I've been keeping up with Jenette's story for a while now and I am glad to see her bring it to light with the public's full attention in addition to this serving as a bit of a revival to her career.
She’s a hero of mine now. I’m 48 and much older but I shut my mother out in my 20’s. Will not regret it and hate how others don’t relate to me situation.
I loved her for a long time! I love that she wrote this book.
Would have been nice to hear what McCurdy had to say. These women kept talking about themselves
Her book really is just amazing, I also listened to the audiobook and it's absolutely insane and she really knows how to find the dark comedy in everything that happened. It's such a powerful story and she's such a great writer, absolutely amazing and heartbreaking.
She’s incredibly well spoken and I’m looking forward to her future work!
It's really annoying how they keep speaking over her and interrupting her 🙄
I’ve been listening to her audiobook with her narrating it and it’s been really good her life that she went through is so sad I can understand why her mother forced her to do acting her song in her album stronger makes sense now even if she retired from acting I still watch her iCarly and Sam and cat and I am thankful she did the right thing
I can't help but be a bit sad for her when interviewers bring up I Carly and that's how she became as famous as she is, When I've seen during other interviews she's expressed how much she hated the show and being this Sam character.
I have so much love for her writing this. I grew up with an nmom and it really messed with my growth in society. Not like career wise but socially. It took a while to get over the damage that was done when i was a kid
I watched I carley with my daughter she was 5 we got into watching it. She kept me and my daughter laughing love you j. I hope you are healed from what you have been through xoxo
I listened to her reading of her book on Spotify and just felt so proud of her for fighting through all of the manipulation everyone threw at her. Her family, those in her career, her romantic partners…
I have SO much love for this woman I’ve never even met.
Her story lays threadbare the sick underbelly of the entertainment industry as well. In some way, it joins forces with the same narrative as Rose McGowan but in an of course different direction-parental neglect, stage parenting, and emotionally abusive creators and producers. I was weaned on Nickelodeon in the 90s as a kid. But as an adult those live shows make me feel super weirded out. I never watched iCarly as I was too old already but seeing clips on CZcams makes one wonder what those poor kids went through.
Proud of her for being brave. She was dealing with an eating disorder while her character ate all the time. I agree that it's important to realize that not everyone has great parents. And she's right. When growing up in an abusive home as child, you don't see that it's not normal.
I have nothing but respect to this woman, long live Jennette
What a beautifully done interview. Amazingly refreshing to watch this panel of well spoken, brilliant, and sincere humans discuss some incredibly challenging issues. Thank you and keep it up! 🙏🏽👏🏽🫶🏽
This book was fantastic! Just finished it today. Highly recommend.
It’s sad how long it can take to break out of this💔💜
Can’t wait to get her book, love Jeanette! Such a inspiration for sharing her story, so much insanity, dysfunctional abuse. So glad she is still here. Love her laugh, candid sweet kind talented personality and humour. What a cute retro vintage chic looking beauty and so articulate/ intelligent. Love what she’s wearing and her ponytail. 🤍 😍🥰😘🤩 🌟 ✨ 📚 ✍🏻 🫶🏻👏🏻💪🏻👑💎⚜️
The View is a place I go to for quality memes and jokes.
She deserves a better platform for her story.