Restaurants That Should Be Shut Down - Cyanide & Happiness Compilation
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- čas přidán 9. 11. 2021
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Some of the worst restaurants around!
Cyanide and Happiness delivers daily comics to your face-hole on explosm.net since 2005!
Shorts:
Breakfast Cowboy
Cooking
Royal Feast
The Milkshake
Allergic
Freds Downtown Deli
Salt
Something Scrumptious
Le Telepathe
Cookie Jar - Komedie
His ability to contort a cop with his clothes on while keeping him alive is extremely impressive
😂😂😂
420 likes, I won't break it
900TH LIKE!
The original "Le Telepathé" came out when I was a freshman in college. My friends and I used to absolutely lose our shit at the way the waiter said "dicks." I'm currently in a hotel on a business trip and the people in the room next to me banged on the wall because I laughed way louder at that scene than anyone would consider acceptable.
The last sentence being so extra for what lol
Ah yes, "diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicks".
dude i almost thew up at that skit. Comedy
The waiter's French accent and facial expressions are top notch hilarious 😂 😂🤌🤌👌👌
Reason for an F:
-Milk left out at room temperature for undisclosed period of time
-Glass placed casually on non-work surface (introducing bacteria)
-Eggs shot which would introduce two kinds of contaminants (broken shell, possible gunpowder. If the bullets are lead there's 3 contaminants)
-Pancake batter stirred by spurs in close contact with the floor
-Sausages placed on a non-work surface where outside contaminants are present (to make a violin play you need to rosin the bow. Rosin is a sap based or synthetic substance that would melt and contaminate the sausages as they cook)
-Improperly cooked sausages (cannot confirm proper internal temperature of sausages cooked on violin, likely uneven cooking given surface area of the strings)
-Orange Juice introduced to bacteria laden area while prepping (inside of boot is sweaty, juicing by foot adds more sweat and likely bacteria)
-The toaster hat might be ok
-Stovetop-belt buckle and fire aparatus in close proximity to genitals, health risk to self and bacterial risk to customers unless regularly removed and washed
-Catching everything in close proximity to the anus (regardless of how you scrub that entire cooking sequence was spent in his pants so sweat and darkness which allow fecal and other bacteria to thrive)
-Fart blowing millions of unseen bacteria over all the food and counter (this plate and anything that touches that counter are now infected with human fecal bacteria. Aka toxic waste and a MAJOR health risk).
-I noticed he didnt wash his hands at any time during this video despite having touched an outside appliance (radio) likely covered in bacteria
-No gloves/touched raw sausage then failed to wash hands (cross contamination)
-No signs saying employees must wash hands
-No properly labelled handwashing stations
-Work surfaces aren't food grade approved material
-No sign of sanitizing station or hand-mixed santizer
-no MSDS in sight
-I didnt see a single trash can so proper disposal of trash/contaminated materials is absent
oh wow thats very detailed inspection
Holly shit...
I would still go eat there thoe
If it wasnt the ass part
Nice!
You're hired
chad
The way the waiter says “Diiiiiiiiiiiiicks” always gets me
"We cannot just replace the *D E C K S* that you ordered sir"
@@denyhaguilar679 that's my favorite part, it "never" gets old..
That would be so yummy-wummy
When the guy looked over when he heard it gets me every time
I lost my shit hearing it
Poor guy poured his heart into that breakfast.
And his shart
My haters throw rocks at me and IT hurts. I hope they don't throw The Rock at me because I like him as an actor. GAGAGAGAGA!!! I am funny!!! I am the funniest CZcamsr EVAH! Please agree, dear con
No but he poured his wet fart for sure👉
@@AxxLAfriku Are you trying to make a point, or are you wasting our time?
Problem is he poured a little more than just his heart
“Look we are a classy establishment we got class comin’ out the ass”
Got me laughing for hours 😂
"We cannot just replace the _DiiiiCKksS_ you ordered because you've changed your mind" 🧐
This gets me everytime! LOL
Le telepathlé Was HILARIOUS
One of the best really
One of the best really
One of the best really
I was freaking dying at that one
Really, one of the best
The "No" for breakfast cowboy gets me everytime.
Yes all he said was just “No”.
C&H’s comedic voice acting is some of the best in the world
0:38 ok but how is no one questioning the fact he didn’t burn his hand on something that cooks raw sausage in 4 seconds
I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING TOO
He didn’t burn himself because of all the cyanide and happiness flowing through his blood
Minecraft fire resistance
@@comicallybetter He drank the fire resistance potion.
He threw three eggs and fired three shots, but only two eggs ever came back down.
Not all the OJ landed in the glass
@@therealmckoy6772 I thought you were talking about someone
True
“Get the F*ck out of here, and get the f*ck in here!” - Best quote 2022 now bro
Ahh yes
Indeed, quality content right there
2 sentences that go against each other with same meaning.
@@KL53986 Oxymoron
Favorite part my guy
Lol the tons of bugs running out of the sandwich is just funny AF and he literally ate it still
he didn't eat it, he was thrown out without having taken a single bite. You can see the full bread on the ground next to him. Although, I guess he was going to eat it because he agreed with the treatment. That said, he did deserve to be thrown out for loitering, as he hadn't even touched his bread after 20 min, not even a sandwich, just bread.
@@chimyshark 5:02 yes he did bro
10:35 “We can not just replace the
*DICKS*
just because you changed your mind”
This will always be one of my favorite lines in all of Cyanide and Happiness
The waiter saying "DIEEECKSSS" lives rent free in my head
Wait wait *wait* a second. Since when do humans in that universe have full legs instead of black stilts?
And why would they not also be cooked? Or were the frog legs raw?
@@al145 maybe the temperature would also be insufficient to cook human leg
He was a biker with strong legs, like the C&H episode where the cop just has thick ass legs 🦵
@@APersonOnCZcamsX yeah but... C&H legs are usually sticks
When it's convient.
The Salt one still gets me everytime
I never got that joke
@@Meow-cr1tq what do you mean you don't get it? It's a classic
That's how cremations work in this universe
@@peepeeman8648 I think is because he are blind.
@@teminternetemmordor7178 what?!
The Télépathé is still one of the best C&H episode
Le Telepathé sounds amazing and probably expensive
Le Telepathe would be the best, best that it can never be shut down.
Only thing we can't take pictures in there because Lord.
I love how stretchable their mouths are to the point its like a normal thing in the C&H universe to just swallow up someone.
Fred's Downtown Deli has the most authentic food.Eating there would be a pleasure.
*wait x5, you were gonna skip this sh*t?*
If you don't mind pesticides
Just go down to the corner of Phuc and Yu 👍
@@lordmaur180 is that close to Eet and Shitte?
@@SporadicMayhem its close but make sure you take a left at Dy or else you'll end at the crossway between road Pis and Comm and the traffic there is unbearable.
Dude just robbed her clean with his mouth 😂
Living in the C&H universe is my idea of hell
What are you talking about? I want to go to the Cowboy Breakfast place.
🗿
🗿
Yeah but without the fart
Yeah… minus the fart.
Same
This gives me a nostalgia I can’t get from anything else
*4:05** it's funny how closed the ball after. So polite he made sure he won't make a mess* 😄
Plot twist: when eating the salt it was actually accelerating his aging process with each loaded bite therefore at the end turning him into nothing more than salted ash.
So he got cremated randomly
Well every single chemical reaction (like salt touching tongue) creates a heat, so he overheated himself "quote-unquote"
Fred's downtown deli has the most honest and authentic food.I never skip add for Fred's restaurant
4:23 OMG THE HOME IMPROVEMENT THEME!!! I'm dying, that got me good!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah
i know im gonna live it when i see a cowboy makin breakfast
Live it?
@@TreXXen Oh yeah, he's gonna live it.
Very proud to say for the first time ever, that I could accurately predict the Royal Feast skit at 1:29 before it happened
Not gonna lie, but I would actually love to go to that cowboy breakfast place in real life...
If the cowboy didn't fart on your food as a way to serve it to you.
Why that's the best part
@@Zeke__02 Yeah! Extra flavor!
To play a violin that fast to heat up food in 3 seconds is far from badass
*beyond
And to touch that hot surface without burning yourself
7:58 Now that's what I call a mashup!
But seriously, very thorough compilation and I am loving it!
If you haven't already you should definitely watch the whole "Something" Saga!
@@SomeNerd361 I have, but yes! Smell something spacey is my favorite!
9:55 DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 10:36 "THE DEEEKS"
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKS!
I dont care what anyone says, these time stamps will save the world
4:24 that home improvement reference was priceless
I never really paid attention to the jokes in Home Improvement, but did they regularly say "I won't have what he's having"?
@@chimyshark it's more I want then I won't mate
I want more breakfast cowboy, his methods may be a little unethical but that man can play a fiddle and that really makes a morning good.
It sure did make my mourning good
“The milkshake” one should have been called: “twisted love”
He is literally saying he doesn't give a rat's ass what you think.
6:48 when the food tastes awful but you don't want to be rude
Is anyone gonna talk about the fact that the dude in the start made that whole meal in 50 seconds?
"We cannot just replace the DIIIIIICKS you ordered..." hilarious
Whoever perfectly timed the ad, kudos to you, you hilarious bastard!
Cowboy Breakfast Place
Review:
Style: 10/10
Music: 10/10
Sanitation: 0/10
that cockroach bit had me dying lol
Le telepathe was classic it defined this channel
10:35 gets me every time
I love how the Health inspector just Says………no
On that 1st one: All the way up to the end, I was like, "That looks fun! I would love to eat there!" But the Butt Plate & Fart Delivery? Yeah, I agree with the Health Inspector.
the nostalgia on this one hits hard
I have major depression at times and I got to say thank you for the great laughs your awesome 🤟 keep up the amazing work
Any compilation with le telepathe is fantastic
Most of the sketches always leave me feeling, "what the hell just happened??" lol
That dude enjoyed his chickens at le telepathe
7:13 looks like that one grandma from sponge bob
I laugh so bad when he sprayed the bug, and the whole meat dissapear🤣🤣🤣🤣
you thought it was meat lol.
I haven’t watched this channel in literal years and it’s just now recommended
"your dinner sir" "diiiiiicks"
Lmao gets me everytime
It's breakfast time! Im watching this in the morning 0:06
I watched the whole compilation just for the short at 8:34 that short has lived in my head rent free since middle school
"Cooking" is one of my all time favorites.
The fart is to add the ambiance of the open range on cattle drive. It wouldn't be a real cowboy breakfast without it.
Never saw the princess one! Glad to see a compilation actually.
"Restaurants that should be shut down"
Literally half the shorts are not in a restaurant
Why watch mukbangs while you eat when you can watch this?
Better yet, do a mukbang while watching this!
(but seriously folks, don't do mukbangs, they're dangerous)
@@TheReaverOfDarkness no they're not, certain people make them dangerous
@@hotasice6475 That's blaming the victim. Sure, you can rationalize to yourself that each of the people who got hurt from it did something wrong. That's the same with any event in which someone got hurt. But the fact of the matter is that people doing mukbangs frequently get hurt and didn't know that it would happen.
Can you do them safely if you take enough precautions? Likely yes. Are they dangerous? Absolutely, and you shouldn't deny that. You can ride a motorcycle safely but that doesn't mean it isn't dangerous.
@@TheReaverOfDarkness do you even know what mukbangs are supposed to be? There's no risk doing a mukbang as it was intended. The only risk comes from your interpretation of it. Also how are they victims? In what way is it not their fault for making it dangerous.
@@hotasice6475 You're hounding me with responses that aren't relevant. That's sophistry. I've already pointed out that people commonly get hurt when doing mukbangs (this is a documented fact). That alone is cause for saying that they are dangerous. Don't try to rationalize out of it. It's a fact, they are dangerous.
You can try to explain how to be safe when doing a mukbang, but you must first acknowledge that they are dangerous.
I love the little things at the end of the clips
11:13 man looks like a Mario character.
Would had been ok with the first breakfast if he didn’t fart on it in the end.
Orange Juice+Feet Fungus/Sweat
Possibly uncooked Sausages
Eggs and Pancakes that were made on a space that has touched a dick
@@Wavgun3k they were cooked
No the fart made it better
I really love the cowboy one 😂
🤣🤣🤣 I'm dead some of your most hilarious skits ever
0:45 i wouldnt be eating that if i were you
Gotta love the attention to detail that it's in Chinatown so that's why the streets are like that
“No”
*Proceeds to fail health inspection*
The belt buckle at 0:27 Reminds me of a belt buckle story I heard on a podcast back in 2015.
I love those animations😍😂
Love your vids 😃
Finally found my child hood again but this time with a smooth animation
Best thing to watch during this pandemic
Oh boy that is delicious definitely
What? The frog leg? Lol
The D I C S
Sus
One of the top tier channels of CZcams
10:35 will never get old
Salt and Something Scrumptious are classics.
If I was the health inspector I'd definitely say yes because the way he made that was SO GOOD
Auto-binge. I like it.
Never gets old.
I love the Home Improvement reference
6:14 my two words
Perfect
ah I wish the emergency sign one was in this compilation too
Yeah it's breakfast time LoL 😂 first one is funniest LMFAO 🤣
That Fred’s one was one of the best they’ve ever done! The cook with his arm on the griddle and “get outta here you sloppy fuck I’ll see you tomorrow”!
me wen I see ads 4:42
Sir, we cannot replace the DIIIICKKKKKSSSS just because you changed your mind. Sir....
Gets me every time.
As a Texan this is how we cook food.
I knew Le Telepathe would be here
Never gets old its always have a weird humor hahahah
4:32 is the best ever
I love the “scrumptious” guy’s face
I hope everyone falls asleep quickly. Wishing everyone a happy wake up and a good rest 😍😜🍊😍