MASTER CHEEKS GETS DOWN & DIRTY! SO HOT!! - Halo: TV Series Ep8 Review
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- čas přidán 11. 05. 2022
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Master Chief does the Unthinkable on Halo: The TV Series and I think we are just done. What the heck is going on in this Show? How is this even Halo? MC is SHAGGING the Enemy?!
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Joe has kept his armor on longer than “Chief” has In the show.
He’s the real Chief.
Literally true
Ohhh, it's so true and sad.
BAHAHA for real though lol
😂😂
Master Chief: “… protect humanity no matter the cost.”
Master Cheeks:”… clap humanity’s cheeks no matter the cost.”
MASTER CHEEKS!!!!
You made me spit green tea all over my phone's screen LMFAO 🤣
@@Antares-rt5ub Asster Cheeks
@@Antares-rt5ub WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE!?!?!?!
clap humanity's cheeks no matter the texture, the size, the flavor, the color... you get the idea. When he was walking the streets for sure he was watching the appeal of society
I remember playing Halo just for the sex levels. The series was very faithful to the source material.
well we all replayed some cortana cutscenes over and over for similar purposes. these showwriters just cut out the teen porn bs. you wanna stare at purple ass? well we give you purple and white and black asses in action!
same bruh
Those jackal snipers could FUCK
🤣🤣
Best parts of the series.....I can't wait to see those covenant boobs bro.....and not spy covenant boobs, talking bout dem Sangheili breastssss
Master chief in the games: “I need a weapon!”
Master chief in tv show: “I need therapy and sex”
master cheeks: I need medication...
because these cheeks are on FIRE! (twerks for camera)
Too much nonsense in thr scenario!
Covenant super spy sex at that.
Right? Lmao
We literally all need those 😆
I love how they took Master Chief, a man who is the perfect soldier in every way, and turned him into an impulsive idiot
They are a bunch of idiot hollywood producers, they dont know how to write a man that isnt an impusive idiot.
God whoever let these hacks be in charge of this show needs to be fired and the show cancelled. This is so terrible.
So in other words, some friends of mine playing multiplayer.
Hollywood made a white boy look stupid? Never
He wasn't RElATAbLE before!
@@speedking7224 Master Chief is a super soldier capable of things that normal plebs like us can’t comprehend. Too bad paramount is too dumb to tell a story like that.
It's funny how The Mandalorian feels like a better representation of Master Chief than the Master Chief in his own show.
You know what... you're right.
at least we get to see the gaddame helmet in Mandalorian...
At least the mandalorian writers know they’re properties universe
Somehow even the Book of Boba Fett did a Halo ring better than a Halo show. What a world we live in.
That's because Jon Favreau has passion for his projects. That's why he didn't direct Iron Man 3.
As someone who's only seen the first episode and then watched your reviews, here's what I understand is happening:
-Kwan
-Helmetless Chief
-Master Cheeks
-Energy Sword Coke Nail
-More Kwan
-Stupid space trolleys
-UNSC financial arguements
-Mystic space colonist cult
-Cortana is the next evolution of Spartans
-Master Chief sex scene
What's not happening:
-Literally anything to do with Halo
The only reason I'm still watching is Kai... that's about it.
When you put it like that, its even worse because we forget a lot of the bad week to week
next is the spy getting pregnant and chief getting a child after the fall of reach. (I swear if this actually happens, I'm done)
@@AlphaWolfWreck dude, you know it is. And then the kid is gonna be the key to destroying the Halo Array.
Honestly I like the insurectionist side of the series alot more.
You know how incompetent a writer is when they can't convey emotions through a helmet/mask. Like why the fuck, every 3 meters, master cheeks keeps removing his helmet then wears it again.
Mandalorian did it right... And by god, it was glorious.
its like,they HAD the recipe right there! in a platter!! they could find even a C tier actor that was willing to play chief with the helmet on all the time and it would be better ...
That feels like a mix of the actor and director.
Pedro Pascal is an amazing actor tho, he’s also very good in Narcos. It could just be that the guy playing chief sucks at acting, but with all of the other changes they made, this probably isn’t the case.
@@Rastafarianinja it is the actor that's problematic... Pablo Schreiber kept flaunting that he won't take the role if the his face isn't shown. The guy is obviously seeking glory as an actor.
He's the biggest reason as to why he keeps removing the helmet and keeps cutting to IronMan face for no reason other than to see him scream. Why do you think he keeps making exaggerated faces most of the time?
@@Skishe thought he was a good actor damn
I don't think I've ever anticipated a video as much as this LMAO
indeed.
I'm glad I'm not watching the show, & I just feel sad for the franchise I grew up with honestly.🤦♀️
Iconic for sure.
BOY OH BOY , IM WAITING ON YOURS
@@KeeperProtector Yo, same
The moniker “Master Cheeks” is the best thing to come out of this series
Master ClapCheeks now.
Don’t forget Master Beef! Epic!🤣
Master cheeks has been a thing for a long time
Kwon out of 10. It means, a waste of time.
Mackeeks
"Master Cheeks, you mind telling me what you're doing on that woman?"
"Sir. Finishing."
Ha ha he can finish on me
No shit bruh... I just can't...
Why did i read this in an orgasmic Kevin hart voice
That shit got me laughing way harder than it had any right to. Thanks for the day maker, man 😂
💀💀💀😆😆😆👌👌
This show is officially beyond saving. How no one is actually expecting this to make it past season 2 and I'm incredibly disappointed with 343 for allowing this to happen and That is not Master Chief, and nor is this Halo.
They greenlite season 2 before the premier. I'm curious to see if they commit to it.
@@gman46 that a good question cause the show it so bad and they thought everyone was going love it even not halo fans let see if they got the ball to do it
Yes, but 343 has no voice in this, maybe they can make opinions or sugestions, remember Halo is Microsoft property, so ultimately is Microsoft calls, and they aprove for this HORRENDOUS HERESY.
The show isn't canon, which is all we can really ask for. If some weirdo writers wanna take Halo and bastardize it, then don't let it affect the canon. I've heard some people say shit like this is as bad as the Disney Star Wars movies, but come on. Those movies are actually canon. This show is not.
@@danyknight9107 343 are the ones that signed off on this. They also have the power to pull the plug. Microsoft was not involved in this.
I hope Bollywood makes season 2. Imagine master chief dancing for 59 minutes a week on a halo ring. Best halo story ever.
I can already see it, with those over the top action scenes, though it might fit the story, somehow.
Same shit 90s stereotype
Definitely would be more entertaining
No one's gonna point out this idea was stolen from the Halo Bollywood video by IGN?
Give it to Rohit shetty
Remember when we all thought that Halo 5 was considered the lowest point the franchise could reach in terms of writing?
I miss those days too...
I honestly believe that the writers looked at halo 5’s story and decided to make it 100 times worse
Man I really thought it couldn’t get worse than Halo 5
halos a dead franchise
"We didn't know how good we had it with Halo 5"
Something i never thought i'd consider. But here we are.
Honestly I didn't mind Halo 5s writing in general. It was the gameplay and Co-op, and a few key moments like Lock vs Chief that we bad. It was a lot more, "Hey you tried, but you failed." This show makes me actually angry.
Guard: "Hey Chief, what are you doing with that enemy spy?"
Chief: "Hopefully getting lucky."
Guard: "Ah, carry on."
Ha ha ha ha
Sex with a POW is a literal war crime. Well done Master Cheeks.
To be fair, idk if the covenant abides by the Geneva conventions lol
funny how we’ve pretty much seen the chief naked more than how much we’ve seen him in his armour lmao
Seen him naked longer than we’ve seen him in combat
LMFAO
It’s like this show is just to spit in the eyes of halo fans
Wait. There's a masterchief in this show?
They got to please the fan girls.
I think one of the most insanely frustrating things about this show. Why it's so FUCKING frustrating... is because Halo ISN'T complicated. It is NOT a complex story. It should have been a walk in the fucking park to adapt, because it is so direct. There is alien faction, alien faction wants to wipe out the human race, humanity and aliens find giant superweapon, race to deny the aliens the chance to activate it. That's literally game one. They could have their entire first season be this super basic story, and then over the next seasons do the digging into "okay, the UNSC is actually kind of fucked up." They could give us more history of the Spartan 2 program, could have shown us the Spartan 3s, who are utterly fucked and make the UNSC look incredibly evil.. Just, there's so much that could and should have been done differently.
Remember, the producers said they didn’t even play the games
@I steal NFT's honestly would love to see more shows about games, but not handled by people who don't give a shit about the games or their audience. One of the reasons this show sucks so hard is that the writers don't care about the core franchise or their fans. They have a big name like halo to market the show then throw whatever they want into it. Also it's paramount +, they made star trek picard.
To be fair video game stories are hard to turn into films and or series. That's why they are better off not being adapted.
@@joet8862 Not a Mass Effect fan so don't hate...but isn't this series closer to Mass Effect than Halo?
I disagree with the UNSC being evil. It is more like a realistic government. They have good people trying to help, shady people also "helping" and flat out bad people messing things up cause they want power.
I remember playing through the Bungie Halo games and always thinking there wasn't enough booty and sex. That was always my biggest complaint with the games. Thanks to CBS for fixing that glaring problem.
"We need to run!"
*pulls down pants*
Master cheeks: "No, we need to clap"
I love when OJ's first words are, "called it. I called it." because he actually did in the last episode lol.
He’s a god
He’s the real prophet of truth
@@ethanbrooks1490 even better !
“It was only one fanfic”
@@antho753 he’s just a man, not a god. Cmon comrades
No, last episode would be a 10/10 if in the greatest twist ever, we find out "John" is actually a flash clone, used to test the Mk. 6 and the Real Master Chief drops in with odsts, lands ontop of Kwan, kills "John" and assumes control of Silver Team, gets Cortona in his head, and saves the day.
That would be worth second season... Otherwise hopefully they dont bother.
I imagined this in my head and the fact that it’d actually work is so fucked up
Please do this...
Lets call this "John" Jimmy Rings.
You've managed to make a better series than the showrunners who have hundreds of millions of dollars of a budget.
"This timeline is Stupid" needs to be a shirt. Applicable in sooooo many situations. lol
Can we talk about how they just let Makee into the same room as the artefact. Is this not meant to be a secure military base?
It’s supposed to be the UNSC’s most important and powerful planet it’s a literally a planet that acts like a military base it’s a whole ass military planet
Details 😒
Master Cheeks is b*** covie spy, that's the plot 😅
The Halo series's writing makes Halo 5 look like a masterpiece
The bar keeps getting lower
Im gonna call it, some years after this series Halo 4 and 5 are gonna be certified masterpieces
A Star Wars prequels situation after Disney came in
@@Spillow-C look so I actually really like halo four lol
This right here xD facts
@@a_waff1es_0pinion76 4 is a great game. It's just the art style changes on the covenant, chief and UNSC that was a little jarring.
Probably my favourite Halo Mp and Campaign thought. Halo 2 is obviously the GOAT still but 4 Isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be.
Master Cheif: Sir, Permission to leave the station
Admiral hood: For what purpose.
Master Chief: To give the Covenant girl some of this dong.
Admiral Hood: Permission granted
Admiral "Clit" Hood?
😂😂
permission denied
@@jackgrove4621 what if we miss........i wont
Talk about penetrating enemy defences.
This is the era of fanfictions infesting the entertainment industry and attempting to become canon. Seriously, stuff like this reminded me of how terrible many fanfictions were. Shit gets changed for the sake of being different and plots become unbearable. I used to think "ah man, it least it was just a shitty fanfiction", but we're seeing more "alternate realities" in big budget shows now.
In fanfictions defence....they actually enjoy the source material and KNOW it as theyre writing it. And some stuff is on par or better than the OG material, but I agree there are a lot that's on this shows level. And for some reason, only the shitty stuff gets through while great concepts and ideas get tossed.
11:25 I love how Alex's head just goes "wtf did I just hear?!" It had me laughing a lot more than I think is normal
Masterchief has always had a love interest.
Her names Cortana.
The entire point is that he develops deep feelings for her through how she teaches him to be more human, to not just be a weapon.
The best possible romance, a machine teaching a human how to love and accept who he is not what he was made.
The fact Cortana isn't a physical being also makes the love he shows her more genuine because it isn't built on sleezy sex scenes like this dumb ass fucking show
On point!
It’s also cleverly tragic because Chief basically says nothing to anybody except Cortana because he’s entirely mission oriented and she’s the means by which most of his missions are delivered.
He’s so ruthless and dedicated she’s literally the only person he CAN develop a connection with except for a handful of fighting comrades like Blue Team and Johnson.
@@thomasprice7893 yeeep for sure
Also from a storytelling standpoint, Chief's romance with Cortona is infinitely more interesting.
The Spartan II’s literally have no sexdrive. Master Chief loves Cortana but he doesn’t want to bone her haha the whole point of the story is them finding their humanity together.
This review beats the entire actual show. Absolutely laughed my ass off with this review.
My exact thoughts! Have absolutely no desire to watch the show but have been excited for the AJ reviews cause I know i'll be laughing
dude same!! XDDDDDDDD
All I can conclude is that the freedom to give writers the room to 'tell their own story' has somehow come to eclipse the core fanbase's long earned obligation to get consistent payoff and respect.
How did, it come, to this? I could imagine this, at a huge stretch, maybe for the fourth season, third maybe - but this early?
This is the real halo show
My mom friggin loves the show. That told me everything I needed to know.
Uh yeah
Is daddy still with your family?
Why do you hate your mom ?
Maybe they have completely opposite tastes. Doesn't have to do anything with hate
@@LunaVictoria9 If anyone subjects their family to this show they hate them. This show was made for anyone EXCEPT Halo fans, you know the CORE FUCKING FANBASE OF THIS MASSIVE FRANCHISE?!
I about died when I heard, "don't be afraid, take my cheeks" 🤣🤣🤣
I'm still in shock. Instead of bringing Halo to life, they beat it to death.
It's like they want to kill this franchise's audience and bring ghosts, i bet there's no one else interested in Halo as much as the audience thst's been here for 20+ years.
It's not even like the current halo games are any good for us to fall back on as the story of bkth halo 5 and infinite are crap
Well the game is almost dead anyway so its consistent
nobody playing it anymore since its so bare bones
@@justincarlozmaxino1100 the game isn't the only thing bare
Not just death, but the South Park humiliation death where the corpse 💩 itself.
8 episodes of this, watching these reviews instead of the show... and for every single one, Alex has perfectly mirrored my expressions. I love it.
These reviews are more entertaining and they don’t require a paid subscription
Same
@@cutthroat795 the brightsight is that we get whole new entertainment from garbage shows
watching someone suffer and telling how bad the it is are way more entertaining than the actual show
I even popped an edible yesterday to try and make the episode better. Did not fucking work
Ye Alex is the man. good counter for Joe who need to be more diplomatic for missing a better word.
And that's when master chief picked up the art of teabagging .
Every time I see Alex look like he could absolutely destroy something but hold himself back, I know It's instantly 1 of the best episodes. I want an Alex angry rant on anything just calling out everything wrong no matter how minor the detail.
yah let him talk the whole time
Hearing joe explain what is happening in the show is better than the show itself, change my mind
No one is gonna argue with the truth
I've never even seen the show but I give it like a 9 just because of angry joes content.
I can’t believe they actually made a show this bad
Never watched the show but love the reactions lol
I will Most certainly NOT.
"We need a redemption arc for Makee, any ideas?"
"She gets banged by Master Chief!"
"Genius!"
Master Cheeks
As usual in American Media, dick is the only solution to a womans problems, LOL.
Master Cheeks gets me everytime
This episode: Human-Covenant Spy betrayed Covenant after slept with Master Chief; Dr. Halsey betrayed UNSC with Spartan Silver Team; Cortana betrayed Dr. Halsey; Kai betrayed Silver Team and Dr. Halsey; Covenant spy betrayed Master Chief again in the end of the episode. Great story!👏👏👏 Only loyal guy is the tech assistant who want to sleep with Dr. Halsey always......
When a huge part of the original Halo series is a subtle reciprocated love between a hologram and a institutionalised soldier, a love that is so subtly played it isn't clear whether it's romantic or plantonic, and so tastefully done where it doesn't even matter, this shit is truly laughable. No one should be watching this, even morbidly 😂
Watching it just to know what they're going to make fun of next on this channel. And to see just how badly they can fuck up a beloved franchise. But then I always have to go play MCC to get the bad taste out of my mouth.
Expertly said.
@I steal NFT's “we'll bang, ok“
- Massa Chef
How about watching it morbiously?
@@deweylewey7820 Morbiously is a fine way to watch it seeing as that film is perhaps the greatest movie masterpiece of the 21st century
The original "love" interest was Cortana, because as an AI she was ironically teaching Chief to be more human, whereas Chief being the Human started off more machine-like.
Fellow lord of the rings fans, prepare yourselves for the same treatment and disrespect in the Amazon series. Don’t waste your time watching that trash when it comes out
Omg were fucked they gonna destroy everything
Off topic: did joe actually make that sound effect out of his mouth 11:24? That was pretty impressive. It sounded like an actual electric weapon!
I remember in a Halo 2 featurette one of the developers talked about how one of the reasons Chief is so badass is that he doesn't want or need the girl, he just wants and needs to do his job, this whole series just makes me want to go back and play halo 2
Halo 2 anniversary cut scenes are better than the show tbh
Well Said
Bungie died thinking they saved the whole franchise, we should all be so lucky.
Chief ain't no simp
He has the girl... Cortana!
Let's not forget that she was also a prisoner of war, so Master Chief entered a prisoner's cell, and had intercourse with them. That's a war crime. The power dynamic is so seriously different that she couldn't possibly consent. If you are a prisoner and a guard enters your cell with the intention to have intercourse with you, yeeeeaaaaaah, they will get what they want no matter what you do.
Bruh I don't think the same laws apply in a different universe and time period
@@V_2077 yea you're right cause sleeping with enemy prisoner of wars should absolutely be decriminalized 🙄
Rofl.
@@xXSquankyXx she didn't consent??
Master chief rapes and commits war crime? That is based.
🤦♂️
Master Cherry: "Don't be afraid...TAKE MY CHEEKS! HUGH! HUNH! HUGH!!!"
Lord hood- “Chief you mind telling me what you’re doing in the prophet’s room” Chief- “ sir finishing the fight 😈😈”
>Knows what sex is
>Never wears his armor and reveals his face to everyone
>Doesn't shill his holographic waifu
Not my Halo
nice 4chan arrows bro
Facts
Of course not. It is not HALO the game. It is a film series. It is not supposed to be like the game. DAAAAAAAAA!
1) Spartans in the actual timeline have NO emotional inhibitor. They have every single emotion that a normal person has. The only thing they have is supreme control over them and the fact that they've been indoctrinated since childhood to be soldiers has mentally shaped them to be overall less prone to emotional outbursts. But do not get confused they do get emotional. Spartans have been shown to cry in the actual lore.
2) Halsey in the actual lore is also a civilian but because of her involvement in the Spartan program and her high standing within the Office of Naval Intelligence she still exerts a great deal of control over the Spartan 2s.
3) Spartans, due to their augmentations also have a repressed sex drive. Now while that doesn't mean it's impossible for them to have sex it is pretty much unthinkable, especially in this stupid manner.
4) Spartans fighting each other? Really?
Yeah imagine canon master Chief having sex and crying / moping about his childhood, try to kill Halsey/ ignore Cortana while Thel Vadam glasses billions of humans. Makes absolutely no sense. Blue team would neverrrr fight each other. Canon Halsey is much smarter in the books as well
Number 3 isn’t entirely true, a repressed sex drive was a possible side effect of the thyroid implant but wasn’t a guaranteed thing, it’s entirely possible Chief had a reduced sex drive, but we wouldn’t know for sure unless explicitly stated.
~edit~
There’s also one case of a Spartan-II having a child in canon, Randall-037/Randall Aiken had a daughter with a colonist on the world of Vodin after being isolated from and presumed dead by the UNSC.
@Giltspark if you are referring to Spartans fighting each other, as much as people dislike Locke he was just following orders of his higher ups. UNSC wanted Locke to Armor lock Chief and bring him in for questioning, not kill him since they knew how valuable he is. Vannak in the show basically told the other spartan to shoot Pablo cheeks in the head and kill him which is too far and Outlandish. Trying to push the narrative that Spartans are mindless killing robots. Plus spartan 4s are different than 2s. Fireteam Osiris don’t nearly have the chemistry or time spent together that Blue team has
Also the sheer size of a spartan would tear her apart even trying this
Randall and Soren in canon actually fought, along with Black Team getting the shit beaten out of them by Red Team for daring to date
Spartan Maria also says she is going to start a family and Randall has a kid, with Fred and Veta being a thing
This is Rey&Kylo all over again.
On the All-time podium of character murder, what Disney did to Luke is Gold, and this is Silver
You guys didnt mention that when Halsey called the spartans they showed a scene when they are getting their armour on in the machine... it was lucky that 117 had a portable version of that machine on the pirate planet because he was taking his suit off like it was going out of fasion!!! 🤦🏻🤦🏻
When I said I wanted a scene of Master Chief delivering a bomb to the Covenant hanger (like in halo 2) this isn't exactly what I meant
Haha nice
Dont forget this is the cheeks timeline.
Bravo
Take your like good sir. You deserve it.
I love how Joe takes this stuff so personal, we need more like him.
If I had as large of a following as him, I feel like we'd have teamed up to do these reviews. My girlfreind just watched the video with me, telling me "That's you!" the whole time.
@@austingilles6263 I somehow doubt that XD
@@RDR911 Doubt what?
thats kinda unhealthy to do.
His reactions have helped me though this show. I laugh every time I watch his reviews.
As someone who has never played halo, but I've watched some playthroughs, theory videos, and cutscenes. As soon as I saw this I literally said "wtf?? Why?" Out loud.
I stopped watching the show 3 episodes ago, but am hooked to these recaps. These are waaaay more entertaining than the show itself. You have drama (CBS blocks), action (the actual reactions), and comedy.
They went through over 250 scripts and drafts and this shit is the best they could come up with.....
Most of us called it even if it was just as a joke, and it happened.
That's when you realize how incredibly worthless these writters are, when you can predict something like this.
If this is what they went with, what in god's name did the other 250 scripts look like?
They literally had a book they could have just adapted. They even take cues and lines from the book. Honestly it really does seem like the creators wanted to make their own story but just took smidges of things from halo and injected it in there so that it could be considered “halo”.
@@MinersLoveGames I'd bet big money that more than a handful of those scripts were more faithful to the games and expanded universe but it just wasn't what their distributors wanted. They wanted some CW/GoT/generic sci-fi nightmare chimera that actively mocks long time fans.
@@corybrown2197 That's exactly what they wanted. This is an act of narcissism by thinking they can do better, they take a property they didn't build and try to do something they like.
Or even worse, they know people will hate it, and decide to go for it all the way, either to catter a casual, optimistic audience or...just for the sake of rage bait the fans. Sadly that's not new nowadays.
1:03 Alex's facial expressions sum everything up on how I view this series 😂
Lmao he is so over it lol
He's probably thinking of his grocery list.
37:50
When Joe says don’t worry they rushed to tell us there will be a season two... Alex just truly despaired, then OJ says maybe they listen to us and fix the problems and Alex whipped his head towards him with the fury of God!!!
I damn near fell out of my chair LMAO!!
I thought the exact same as soon as the review started
*Hello darkness my old friend....I come to talk to you again...about lovely Halo baby....you'll love these scenes sweety*
The fact they have been green lit for a second season has me worried. This garbage needs to end.
I agree with Alex, even in Silver timeline, the Spartans don't have Clone Trooper programming where they do everything asked unquestioningly even against logic... that's why chief has cortana put in to take control if he gets any ideas... IN THE SILVER TIMELINE. She can't just order them to kill someone and they'll do it no matter what. If she said to kill the president of earth, or the admiral of the fleet, they wouldn't just do it no questions. Alex is right, but the show acts as if Silver team would just happily merc Chief without thinking at all. It's so stupid. The entire fucking show is so stupid. I feel bad for the production staff and art team and stuff because they're doing a good job but the fucking writers and showrunners and producers are complete morons.
My favourite part of the Halo Games has always been when Masterchief gets it on... 😮💨
Yeah, when he goes tearing everyone a new one.
While Cortana watching 😎
@@markusbisma5015 Cucktana* HEEEEEEYOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
@@throwacnt7603 that was a good one
MasterCheeks the Chad.
Never has chief shown his face this often or removed his armour, and had a scene like this in any halo lore. He's stoic, quiet, doesn't say a whole lot and he was close with cortana, she was the only person he really bonded with. Highly doubt he was interested in dipping his wick... Cringe TV.
Also Spartans can't just climb out of their armour ffs a machine has to fully remove it I believe
Yea they have sockets inserted in there bones the armor plugs into
Chief has bonds with all kinds of people. Every Spartan he trained with during his childhood, especially Fred, Kelly and Linda. Halsey, Johnson, Lasky. He's not some kind of robot, which is why the show's desperate attempts to "humanize" him are so misguided.
@@darkphoenix2 don’t forget Sam 034
The armor can be removed without machines. It's just a bitch to put on yourself in canon. Plus...typically when Spartans are deployed; they'll probably want to keep armor on for duration of the op
Yeah but we need to make it like game of Thrones so sex scenes and politics are in
Something that i couldn't help but notice. Makee was wearing clothes when she took out her finger nail but the next morning when she's in bed she's naked again. So either she chose to sleep in the nude, perhaps a cultural holdover from the covenant or after ripping her fingernail out of her hand she went back to chief for round 2.
I had the same exact thought
Holy shit, Master Chief just committed a fucking war crime
I can’t believe Noble Team, and Noble Six, are all about to sacrifice their lives for Reach.
Just because Master Chief wanted his pee pee frolicked. This show is absolute heresy.
I'm sure silver timeline noble team will just say no and eff off from reach back to earth.
No really, in this timeline its makee, the keystone and Kwan that will lead humanity to halo. Not noble team. So they get to live I guess. Yay?
Also jorge would be so different in this timeline since hed have the chip even though originally hes the most empathetic and kindest spartan ever.
Which makes zero sense, because 2nd generations Spartans have no sex drive. It's one of the reasons chief falling in love with an AI like Cortana is so interesting. An AI (Cortana) teaches a human (chief) to love and show compassion. That hes more than just a spartan, made to kill.
My wife doesn't know the Halo games, but agreed to watch the show with me. Even her, with no prior knowledge whatsoever, turned to me during that scene and said "WTF is that?" She said to me that this felt completely wrong in the context of the series. I replied: "The internet will explode over this..." ;)
I appreciate the perspective of an outsider. Thank you
You have an awesome wife and you were right!
You subjected your wife to this? Just play Halo with her.
My wife also said something similar to this. She knew nothing about Halo before we started watching the series. She literally said "I think he's better with his helmet on". We haven't watched this episode nor the Kwan episode yet.
My dad has only played Halo 1, 2, and 3. So he doesn’t have the larger picture in mind. After episode 5. My dad sent me the text. “Halo sucks.” Even he doesn’t think the show is good alone.
Congrats Joe! Went almost an entire week without getting a Halo review taken down. Full blown expect this to be double downed on the finale review!!
Cortana watching Master Cheeks and Malfoy was weird!
I’m with Alex the only thing that can save this show at this point is if the Covenant comes in and kills every single person.
I want to see the covenant win. While all of this BS has been happening on Modrigal and Reach, the Covenant should've found Halo, obtained the activation index, and ignited the ring because nobody has been there to stop them. I just want this timeline to die lmaoooo
That meme with the cheeks armor mod had me wheezing.
The thumbnail alone already translates a lot of rage. I LOVE it.
"The disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined"
Me at every ep of halo so far, can't wait for the new lotr show to put me closer to the edge of insanity, happy to share this fun ride with others
New lotr show? You don't mean amazons show right? Sorry dude but that show is trash.
@@dreadxlegionx058 thats what hes saying lol
Oh fuck don't remind me of LOTR right now.. fucking woke trash.
You already know they're going to smut it up.
@@dreadxlegionx058 yea the Amazon one, i have the lowest of expectations for it, at this point I'm just waiting to be surprised by something that's actually good for a change
Rather give my money to you guys than a show dragging a franchise through the dirt 😂
You’re god damn right 🤘🏼
I watch this show for free so I don't get to pay them and I get to watch their crap. Sometimes there's a good one.
@@wheresbarry1434 Same. WHYY PAY FOR THIS TRASH!!
Signed up for the free trial, stayed for a month thinking I could get some March Madness to watch (nope, not really), and then as soon as Paramount started giving AJ shit, I postponed and then cancelled my subscription. It's pretty much shit content anyways.
I was thinking about subbing to their patreon
More excited for the AngryJoe Halo TV series finale review vs the finale itself
The one line this episode needed: "I need a weapon"
Master Cheeks broke the number one rule: 'Don't stick your plasma cannon in crazy'.
Just when you thought the “Halo” show couldn’t get any worse and more cliche, Master Cheeks “interrogates” the prisoner lol
"Don't mind me, I'm just searching for evidence."
The Halo TV series is just Hollywood's @$$ dropping 💩 on our faces.
This day, we all watched "the wrong Halo" without wanting it.
Ahem, his name is John Halo
She mastered his cheif wink wink
Remember that epic scene in "Soldier" where the main character has a mental freakout because somebody gave him a hug?
This ain't it, chief.
I've made peace with this show now. First I was angry and now I just feel sorry for the people who worked on it (aside from the writers obviously). It's hilarious how bad it is. CBS does love destroying the franchises we know and love.
This shit right here is why even other writers call Hollywood writers hacks. This is lazy, pathetic, and just bad. The writers that wrote this script _and_ the producers and director that approved have never played a single minute of any Halo game and only skimmed the plot and character summaries 343 gave them. This isn't just a bad Halo adaptation, it's a bad story period. This level of writing would have never seen the light of day if it wasn't attached to the Halo IP.
What really pisses me off is that if you strip away the Halo IP, it's just another generic Hollywood "humans are bad and awful" sci-fi series that they've been shitting out for the last 20 years. Just heaps and heaps of negativity without a single sign that humanity can be better. Maybe the writers need to go outside and touch grass and lay off the self-medicating they look to be doing.
EDIT: Anyone else checking on this video repeatedly, just waiting for when CBS takes it down?
same XD, I just want to see his reaction for this one blocked cuz it will obviously will
@@user-fb9sm7nn2x It's still up, much to my shock.
The moment they started getting close to each other I was like I CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR THE REACTIONS TO THIS WEEK’S EPISODE.
Lmao SAME! I couldn't wait
i was yelling no, then i turned to youtube looking for reviews.... i skipped that part....
yep! I like when they were kickin chief's ass, but man, I wish they didn't have chief and her with romance doo doo! we knew it would happen, man! 😆😅
You guys better be pirating this
me too lol i was watching the episode with the pretense of this one
Master Chief getting Funky is proof that this show is another timeline. A twisted, Funky, Satanic, Nightmarish Timeline made from a combination of Evil, Stupidity, and The Color Blue.
The best ending: The covenant launches an all out attack, Chief comes out butt naked, aims his cheeks at the sky and farts the covenant into oblivion with echoing thunder. One of the destroyed ships falls on Kwan killing her instantly.
Master Chief wakes up on an abandoned planet, realizing the events of the show were nothing but a horrible dream.
Cortana: "I warned you not to eat that weird looking plant. Come on big guy, still a long hike to that crashed distress beacon."
Oh I would want to see that
"What in oblivion is that?!"
"Dova cheeks" fu da toot!
Writers of the show: Master Cheeks needs a love interest.
The one person who played the games: Waaait, isnt Cortana like his love interest cause of how he felt and missed her in Halo 4?
Writers: NO, FORGET THAT, HUMAN FEMALE COVENANT MEMBER
Fuck Halo 4 too, the relationship felt far more interesting and less cliche before 4.
Producer: *snorts line* YES!!! Also make her the most generic looking white woman so the female audience can relate to her.
@@CloneLoli fucking exactly, this shit is so bad people are looking at the 343 shit as if its Shakespeare now
No; Chief has not an love interest, he considers Cortana (and now the Weapon) as a close partner, friend, and a mother figure (as Halsey)
You can feel closeness with a female AND NOT feel romantic love for that female friend
@@MrAvakstone92 bro just say women
And here we go.
The Fall of Reach was all because Chief clapped some cheeks.
*Hakeem Nicks laugh*
LMFAO
Remember when halo was a giant war drama showing the sacrifice of humanity against a covenant of alien religious fanatics that seek the extermination of the entire human population... well this show doesn't.
I have thrown away the movies so now it is just the games CE to Reach.
The whole show is fucked. “Government bad” seems to be the theme, but the “bad government” doesn’t fucking matter when your species is literally being genocided by aliens lol. It’s kinda like Gears of War, yeah the government sucks but they are the only thing holding humanity together.
I painfully force myself to watch these brutal 47 min episodes just so I can feel included while you guys rip it apart. So this is all your fault Joes and Alex!
33:40 LMFAOOOOOO BRO I WAS NOT EXPECTING A FULL SEATED RE-ENACTMENT XDD
The CHEEKS SAGA CONTINUES DOUBLE CHEEKED UP ON THIS THURSDAY EVENING
Suns still up
Teddy ray reference lol
This series is just @$$ that keeps giving us 💩
Cheeks status: CLAPPED
🤣🤣🤣
Paramount blundered this series so hard, they had an entire fandom gifted to them on a silver platter, and instead they made a show NOBODY likes
Paramount actually one upping netflix in how terrible they make shows
@@jak151d I dont know man, Amazon still has a card up its sleeve with the LOTR disaster coming down the tube.
@@jak151d seriously. Although Netflix is still close behind with cowboy bebop and the Witcher, those were AWFUL too
@@deadlyydude5522 I would rather watch the Witcher than this shit
This review was just the therapy I needed for that heresy. Thank you Joe.
If they wanted to do the whole dive into how the UNSC and ONI are morally questionable, they should have done it similarly to how the Hunt the Truth audiologs did. A slow build like that alongside some actual story about the war against the Covenant would have been so good.
Lord Hood: " Master Chief, would you mind telling me what you're doing with that Alien Spy"
MasterChief: "Sir, finishing the cheeks"
"Finishing ON the cheeks"
@@mickwoodard7931 *in
Everyone: It can’t get THAT much worse can it?
OJ: Oh it can… and I called it.
He wasn't the only one.
he actually did,and i think from one of way earlier episodes like 3-4
Keep up the fight Joe, don't falter, don't back down. They know your reviews are a well-deserved thorn in their side.
Turns out Chief getting laid was the real catalyst for the Fall of Reach.
YAY :D
I love how some people defended the show at the start and they said that you will have to wait a couple episodes and it would start getting better. Well that aged like milk
Another L for Xbox fanboys, seems there is y'know 1 or 2 per week these days
I dunno I'm really enjoying the show.
@@charltonblake9967 blasphemous lol
@@patrickthewolf840 Did you really need to bring the fucking console wars up?
@@hunterskrbec6168 no and I'm an Xbox fan but let's be real it's alot of bad news in a short amount of time. Chillax lol
Friendly reminder that Chief disobeyed orders even with the chip still in his body. (Refused to kill Kwan in episode 1)
Kai showed to be questionning orders even with the chip still in her body. (Questioned Chief about going alone with Kwan in episode 1, which made Chief repeat the order.)
Riz and Vannak have no excuses, they're not Star Wars clone troopers.
Soren had the chip inside his body when he defected, he removed it after fleeing. Didn't stop him from actually defecting.
Yeah the chip isnt supposed to be a mind control device. It just suppresses emotions.
Clone Troopers: Hey hey hey, don’t include us in this :P
That's why she didn't take the shot. They still have humanity even through all that indoctrination. That was the point.
In lore as well they definitely above all else followed the chain of command too. None of this order 66 bullshit. They would arrest Halsey in a heartbeat if it meant completing the mission. Halsey may have recruited them but they were trained by officers since they were 6. Thats the part that annoyed me.
@@revolverocelot1380
It's just a pointless plot point if the chip doesn't actually hinder what the characters can do or feel. It's sooo much better for them to just naturally develop their humanity.
The thumbnail alone for this video had me cracking up!
I haven't watched any episodes because I know Joe will definitely break it down for me 😂
Just imagine what this show couldve been. We could have gotten a boots on the ground war arch with the Spartans and the covenant. Could only imagine
Let's hope the morons In Microsoft and 343i finally understand.
Imagine Band of Brothers but Halo. Instead, we get this.
Yeah but 343 has this 'spit on their grave' regard for Bungie (good Halo)
Right? it could have been so much better. Could have been a gritty military show. with chief and his spartans going after the insurrectionists then the covenant
Maybe if 343 manages to pull their shit together and start making the games feel like the good old bungie days we can get a decent halo show in like 20 more years.