My Biggest Problem with Living in Japan
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- čas přidán 15. 07. 2023
- today i would like to talk about loneliness in japan
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As a Half-Japanese girl who grew up in the rural US... Even my Japanese mom still lives as if the things you brought up were true here, 30 years since she came to the US. I was miserable when I was younger and almost suicidal as I had few friends (and no close friends) with a lot of hate for being different. When I finally managed to tell my parents to ask for help, my mom's response was 'What do you have to be depressed about?'
Well, I hope you're doing fine. I, myself, have felt the same way, and even this year was hard graduating from hs and dealing with trauma I haven't even dealt with as much. It is getting better for me and I hope it is for you too. It can hurt when you're trying to ask for help, but at least you've made an attempt. Just keeping going. You got this!!!🤍🖤🤍🖤
I wonder if it’s an older parent behavior of parents because my mom said the same thing to my brother and I when we asked for help for depression at different times. My parents even laughed at my brother when he asked for help
My mom said the same thing to me unfortunately, what she doesn’t know is every second I’m not getting help my eventual collapse is building..
It's as if you need a "legitimate" reason to be depressed.
I asked my parents for help multiple times. Never got it.
I've realized moving helped my anxiety. I recently moved 1200 miles away from my hometown & while my depressions still about the same my anxiety has dropped a lot. Looking at it now, it was the location. Every one of my friends had bad problems with their parents. It's like there was something in the water. My hometown was toxic.
That’s how my mom was to me when I told her I was depressed and needed help
I don't usually comment on videos of other CZcamsrs in this community (because people don't always like it), but I really want to express how I feel bad about the girl in the TikTok video. I can feel a lot of emotions through her voice and I can't help imagining what had happened to her. Life can be very stressful sometimes but I hope she's OK.
Also, if you feel lonely in Japan, you are not the only one. It's probably not your fault, and a lot of Japanese people have the same problem. Making friends as an adult isn't always easy and Japan doesn't necessarily make it easier, but it can be done. I hope you find ways that work for you.
Kinda scary reminded my of like a show of black mirror. Everyone was just standing there like there isn't a person going crazy right in front of them. A little bit dystopian vibe. Obviously they didn't know how to handle this situation because it probably never happens but still little bit freaky.
Godly Reproof
Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it.
(Psalm 141:5)
We all need a little correction sometimes. We get a little bit off the path and do something we shouldn’t do. Or, maybe we’re engaged in something that isn’t bad but appears to be bad. It can send out the wrong signal.
In times like these a Christian friend, instead of gossiping about us, may approach us and say, “You know what? I think this could be a problem. You might not want to do this. You might want to be careful and really put your guard up in this area.”
It might sting a little bit to hear that. We may even feel a little embarrassed. But at the same time, we’ll be thankful that a friend cared and told us the truth.
David wrote in one of his psalms, “Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it”
(Psalm 141:5)
He was saying, “Let those who are godly, who are righteous, correct me if necessary.”
The great British preacher C. H. Spurgeon said of this verse, “He prefers the bitters of gracious company to the dainties of the ungodly. He would rather be smitten by the righteous than be feasted by the wicked. He gives a permit to faithful admonition, he even invites it.”
The Bible says, “An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy”
(Proverbs 27:5-6)
However, sometimes we’ll bludgeon people with the truth instead of lovingly share it to prevent them from going the wrong direction. But Ephesians 4:15 reminds us, “Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church”
A true friend, a true man or woman of God, will tell you the truth and try to keep you from hurting yourself.
Being fair to Japan it's actually not that easy to make friends (real friends) as an adult period regardless of country. It's not hard to find statistics about rising loneliness in Western nations for example. It may be harder to make friends in Japan but the difference might be of degrees not in principle.
Dear Yuta-san, I watch your and other blogger's videos quite frequently. You are very kind in commenting. And I am highly critical of this video posted by "akidearest". However the issue of loneliness is always an issue connected to the individual himself. No matter where you are. I am a German, living with a 15 year interruption, in total 21 years in Japan. And in a certain sense of the meaning, I feel very lonely. The reason is ME, my only self. There are issues about Japan, agreed. Like about every society, where we happen to live. I am fluent in Japanese, I have a Japanese family, a job, I am not homeless, I have all the ingredients to be a happy man. However, I feel lonely. The reasons are, besides myself being on the rather introvert side, that with growing age the gap to social mainstream is widening. Ofcourse I could go out, mingle with people. Ofcourse I could go to parties, even "Gokon" parties, and more. Ofcourse I could have lots of fun, making my "diverting looks" identifying me without any doubt as a guy from another planet (gaijin), changing my disadvantages into a striking advantage. My "looks", me speaking Japanese. We could enter anytime into one of these highly sophisticated "Gaijin conversations". "Do you like Japan ?" Ofcourse, I do... otherwise I would have left long time ago... "Can you use chopsticks ?"... well although my clumsiness is notorious, yes, rudimentally I could survive with chopsticks... Do you speak Japanese ? Well... am just trying my best. I could fall for all the traps laid out for foreigners, designed to flatter them and for Japanese to have a friendly conversation. My issue especially in Japan is... Everything is so terribly PREDICTABLE !! No matter what you say, no matter what you do, no matter whom you are talking to, people will always be nice. Interested. Praising your Japanese (while talking in English...). And the girls will scream "kya, kya"... And if you (the gaijin) are stupid enough to fall for this, he will feel like a "King" without realizing what fool he is. Conversation will always be the same, following the same path and pattern, asking the same questions, knowing the same answers. Even, if you meet the same people twice or even three times for a drink. Conversation will never develop beyond a certain point. Yet, the key issue for me is, DO I WANT THIS ? The answer lies in the question. I am looking for a more meaningful interaction with people, no matter where they are from, who they are, if they are man or woman, or whatever, how much they earn... My way out of this dilemma, I am looking for my personal interfaces with this beautiful country. Namely the stunning nature, walking off the beaten track, entering conversation with the rural locals, enjoying the best food in the world, following my hobby and passion - Aviation - , do not care too much about what other people think. And I am at peace with myself again. Good therapy !
My heart also breaks for the girl in the video. She so obviously needs someone, anyone, to care for her. I hope she never finds out about herself being posted on the internet and that she's okay. Or, if she does find out about herself posted on the internet she see's the kind comments that let her know she isn't alone and even complete strangers care for her wellbeing.
I definitely agree that Japan is an introverted country. It seems very reserved.
Guess I’m moving to Japan.
@@just4justincaseI don't know about you. But i'm introverted and can Go weeks, month's whitout people. But i need deep Connections. Where we can Talk about our Life, Bad and good Things, Emoticons, Dreams, ect.
I too, Always thought what a dreamland japan must be. But more and more people Talk about Japan, how they are often Like Robots, Always nice, lying you straight in the face whitout Bad intentions, because they grew Up this way.
This would be hell for me ...
Ohh my kind of country
@@mlem6951that's mostly the case in large counties/cities/prefectures/states. People are two faced.
@@mlem6951this is true. No matter how introverted i am, i need meaningful conversations with people once in a while to keep me sane, and somehow i get the feeling japanese people are gonna seclude me for being foreign.
I live in western country and I'm quite introverted myself. However, even being surrounded by extroverts, I still felt pretty lonely here. I felt that my friendships were superficial and that the people I called friends didn't care about my feelings. I think the problem of loneliness needs to be addressed in western countries too, not just in Japan. A lot of people use other people and abandon them after their social needs are met.
As someone who went to Japan, I can definitely relate to the stark difference in social dynamics compared to Western countries. The overall culture in Japan is indeed more introverted, and it's true that people tend to speak quieter, public spaces like trains and restaurants are usually quieter as well. This cultural aspect often contributes to a different sense of community and social interactions.
I feel this way. Sometimes more than others. I try really hard not to allow other people's ability to talk to me as a measure of their love for me. I try to believe it so hard. I try to work on my perception, and attitude so i don't push people away and so I can be more accepting of others and myself. Accepting others in my life & their decisions to not talk to if they don't want to. Sometimes people don't want to talk to you because they are busy with their own life, or just aren't doing it on purpose, sometimes it slips people's minds. Everyone has their own stressors and desires in life, sometimes we need more communication than other people. Sometimes it's healthy, sometimes it's not.
Godly Reproof
Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it.
(Psalm 141:5)
We all need a little correction sometimes. We get a little bit off the path and do something we shouldn’t do. Or, maybe we’re engaged in something that isn’t bad but appears to be bad. It can send out the wrong signal.
In times like these a Christian friend, instead of gossiping about us, may approach us and say, “You know what? I think this could be a problem. You might not want to do this. You might want to be careful and really put your guard up in this area.”
It might sting a little bit to hear that. We may even feel a little embarrassed. But at the same time, we’ll be thankful that a friend cared and told us the truth.
David wrote in one of his psalms, “Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it”
(Psalm 141:5)
He was saying, “Let those who are godly, who are righteous, correct me if necessary.”
The great British preacher C. H. Spurgeon said of this verse, “He prefers the bitters of gracious company to the dainties of the ungodly. He would rather be smitten by the righteous than be feasted by the wicked. He gives a permit to faithful admonition, he even invites it.”
The Bible says, “An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy”
(Proverbs 27:5-6)
However, sometimes we’ll bludgeon people with the truth instead of lovingly share it to prevent them from going the wrong direction. But Ephesians 4:15 reminds us, “Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church”
A true friend, a true man or woman of God, will tell you the truth and try to keep you from hurting yourself.
Well, most of the people you considered your 'friends' more than likely DIDN'T care about your feelings. The thing about most people is that they really don't pay attention to others, and they definitely tend not to really pay attention to your feelings. An overwhelming majority of people are self absorbed phonies, and the interesting thing is, none of it is done out of any particular malice. It's just how a lot of people are. Japan for instance, has carefully built a culture around being phony, and cultivated it to an art form, under the guise of maintaining harmony.
The problem is that extroverts are their for multiple people and introverts don't realize if you don't engage or have reciprocal relationships even extroverts pull backend just prioritize other things
I’m Japanese. I used to live in US. At the time I felt true loneliness. Human being are easy to feel lonely when they are away from their original place. Even traveling to the other country I felt loneliness some time. Even though I want to visit and stay other countries.
@jpaw8389
I am a Japanese and had exactly same experience in the US.
Every society needs to care about mental health and its both America and Japan that needs to change. We need to undo the stygmatisms & hangups of depression & isolation.
It's not just the stigmatism though. Treatment needs to improve. There is far too much overmedicating in place of counselling and therapy.
I don't know about Japan. But people are very very open about mental health here in the US. It's literally everywhere.
@@baronvonjo1929 Even then we still have a lot more ways to improve. Especially as a country no less. I'm glad that the topic of mental health is a lot more relevant now than it was 10 years ago. But even we still have a long way to go. 😓
Bring back institutions and keep the Defectives from mixing with non-Defectives!
Defectives should also be sterilized so they don’t pass this on to children. Of course, a large swath of Defectives is already doing that, so good job there.
@@dereksbooks as well as a culture of almost glorifying and encouraging wallowing in mental illness labels. The West is the very epitome of "raising awareness" of mental illness and for all that the West is more and more a total mess in regards to tackling it.
I think one pretty obvious advice Aki didn’t mention (I’ve lived in Japan for 3.5 years) is forming a circle of foreigners around you. Yes it sound weird to live in Japan and hangout with other foreigners rather than Japanese people, but we all feel the same way about this loneliness. And there’s no expectation to know all the social rules when you’re with other expats. I used to feel bad for not having Japanese friends after living here for so long. I have acquaintances and people I go out with, but as far as friends go all of them are foreigners (except one Japanese girl who studied in the us so she has a very open mind).
+ to add on the mental health part. Therapy is also not covered be the insurance so online therapists from your own country will most likely be cheaper. On the flip side getting the medicine for depression was super easy to get. I got prescribed Zoloft after one appointment when I wasn’t even sure I wanted it lmao But when it comes to something stronger or different kind of medicine (like for ADHD) it seems like it’s way harder to get (judging from my friends stories).
As a foreigner myself; that's what I (indirectly) ended up doing. Most of my friends were not from the country I'm living in now. And you know what the irony is?
When the same locals, that push foreigners away, then complain about foreigners not integrating and creating their own communities.
I feel like if I do eventually move to Japan myself someday, this will also be my reality. I 100 percent want to mix with the local population, but I feel in the end, if I can find the right group wherever I live, the majority of my friends will be still other foreigners or expats. Considering the social norms there, that don’t seem like they will be changing any time soon, unless you really are lucky to find the right group of people, this will be the reality. I’m from the UK, and even though a lot of us are more reserved, or honestly more healthily balanced in terms of our social interactions than on average in the US, I don’t think I would be able to deal with the more common Japanese social norms in the long term without other foreign friends.
I have lived here more than two decades. You are right on in your observations. Japan can't provide adequate mental health support as it contradicts their cultural expectations. Self sufficiency, viewing intimacy or interdependence as weakness, the desire to maintain a status quo, tatamae rather than honest expression. It is not the individual who is sick, but the society. If you don't have loneliness or mental health issues here, I feel sorry for you. The low marriage and birthrate here illustrates how people don't value the most basic of relationships. Good luck to the government as it tries to solve problems of the human spirit with policies.
@@mikevanhoecke3516Actually, I don’t get the sense that Japanese people don’t value the most basic of relationships, from what I’ve gathered about the low marriage rate is that they realise that fiancially, marriage and kids are expensive and so a lot of people don’t marry due to their feeling they can’t handle the financial burden. Many Japanese people want to marry but they feel the wage needs to go up and more childcare needs to be provided. Also, many Japanese people are opting out of marriage because Japan places heavily value on caring for their elders, so, with parents living for so long in Japan, young people can’t afford to care for their aging parents and have families, so, they are opting out of marriage in favour of caring for their elders. I think if Japan created elderly communities, this would relieve the burden on the younger generation. I just think we need to be care how judge groups, it’s easy to say people must not value relationships because we see them not doing something we think is important, but when you ask them where they are coming from, you notice they have valid reasons for avoiding “conventional” ways.
Loneliness has become an epidemic everywhere in the world, and in a society like Japan it can get so much worse because people are already distant. I’d love to try living in Japan but it seems like you have to put huge effort into maintaining friendships for the sake of your own sanity lol
Godly Reproof
Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it.
(Psalm 141:5)
We all need a little correction sometimes. We get a little bit off the path and do something we shouldn’t do. Or, maybe we’re engaged in something that isn’t bad but appears to be bad. It can send out the wrong signal.
In times like these a Christian friend, instead of gossiping about us, may approach us and say, “You know what? I think this could be a problem. You might not want to do this. You might want to be careful and really put your guard up in this area.”
It might sting a little bit to hear that. We may even feel a little embarrassed. But at the same time, we’ll be thankful that a friend cared and told us the truth.
David wrote in one of his psalms, “Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it”
(Psalm 141:5)
He was saying, “Let those who are godly, who are righteous, correct me if necessary.”
The great British preacher C. H. Spurgeon said of this verse, “He prefers the bitters of gracious company to the dainties of the ungodly. He would rather be smitten by the righteous than be feasted by the wicked. He gives a permit to faithful admonition, he even invites it.”
The Bible says, “An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy”
(Proverbs 27:5-6)
However, sometimes we’ll bludgeon people with the truth instead of lovingly share it to prevent them from going the wrong direction. But Ephesians 4:15 reminds us, “Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church”
A true friend, a true man or woman of God, will tell you the truth and try to keep you from hurting yourself.
Lonelines is a choice, depression is not.
@@noexcuses5524 Why do you think loneliness is a choice? Humans are social creatures, so I think the majority of people may struggle to socialise or feel unable to make deep connections with people, which is hardly a choice
@@SpinningTurtle66 You've never lived in Japan, but you think you already know the people. Westerners can seem cold and distant, too, to others.
@alexandrebenois7962 You're right, I shouldn't assume to know the experience of an entire nation that I've only briefly visited.
Except I'm not basing this off of my own experience but from what people who DO live in Japan are saying. You're literally commenting on Aki's video, where she is talking about the loneliness issue in Japan. That's why I said 'It seems like,' I've never experienced coldness from Japanese people but lots of the videos I've seen about Japan, from foreigners living there to natives who've never left the country, a lot of them share the sentiment that Japan can be a lonely place.
I love how openly you speak about your experience, it‘s useful for people making big decisions in their lifes. Thank you Aki ❤
How did you watched the video in 1 min 💀💀
@@tedxteddy they watched it 10x speed
@@nufley7436 nah I just have superpowers
it's crazy how we convince ourselves that just because of our position we're in, we feel like we're not allowed to feel sad or empty. I think it's important that you need to take into consideration your feelings and make sure your not damaging yourself. Take care Aki, and I really hope your friend finds themselves feeling better. ❤
minor spelling mistake *not damaging 🤓
@@liquidmagma0 lmaooo thanks for the correction
Godly Reproof
Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it.
(Psalm 141:5)
We all need a little correction sometimes. We get a little bit off the path and do something we shouldn’t do. Or, maybe we’re engaged in something that isn’t bad but appears to be bad. It can send out the wrong signal.
In times like these a Christian friend, instead of gossiping about us, may approach us and say, “You know what? I think this could be a problem. You might not want to do this. You might want to be careful and really put your guard up in this area.”
It might sting a little bit to hear that. We may even feel a little embarrassed. But at the same time, we’ll be thankful that a friend cared and told us the truth.
David wrote in one of his psalms, “Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it”
(Psalm 141:5)
He was saying, “Let those who are godly, who are righteous, correct me if necessary.”
The great British preacher C. H. Spurgeon said of this verse, “He prefers the bitters of gracious company to the dainties of the ungodly. He would rather be smitten by the righteous than be feasted by the wicked. He gives a permit to faithful admonition, he even invites it.”
The Bible says, “An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy”
(Proverbs 27:5-6)
However, sometimes we’ll bludgeon people with the truth instead of lovingly share it to prevent them from going the wrong direction. But Ephesians 4:15 reminds us, “Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church”
A true friend, a true man or woman of God, will tell you the truth and try to keep you from hurting yourself.
Personally, I feel much less lonely in Japan than I did in America. I think either Japan clicks with you or it doesn’t at all. And it has nothing to do with how much you like things from Japan.
samee
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
America really sucks. 😅
I feel like this is something that needs to be brought up more. Even though, I too live in an introverted country, I didn't know Japan or other introverted countries could have these issues. Thank you for sharing.
Same here, I was also unaware of this
“Introverted country.”
Such an odd term for, “a country of adults.”
Deal with your problems instead of wallowing.
@@peoplethesedaysberetardedOh please. The only way you think peoe should deal with it is by wallowing. Cuz you view talking about it as weak. Can't even make up your own mind lol
Usa has many more depression and mental issues. Alcohol and drug abuses r common even in older men. America is far worse than Asian countries and Europe 🇪🇺.
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
No matter the country, if you don't have friends who are locals or permanent expats in that country then things are going to be tough. More often than not, expat friendships are also superficial or not long-lasting because they know they will leave and don't commit too deeply, so it could feel like you have to start building a new social circle from scratch every few years.
I literally don't need local friends. Im like 40 male tho. But I socialize like 2-4 hours a day online or whatever. Suits me well.
I’m from Japan and living in California for four years and I do feel lonely and separated from others. I don’t think the reason is just because I’m Japanese or either the US is bad. This just happens when you are at country that’s not home.
That's called "Home Sickness".
I think it's good to find some people you don't know and just chat with them even if ur English is not fluent.
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
@@Mecks089You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
Moving abroad really made me realize just how long it actually takes to make deep, meaningful connections with others, which I honestly hadn't thought much about before. I guess I've always had close friends, so I had never really considered that building those kinds of relationships take a long time and require bonding experiences. It also made me realize just how many friends, family and acquaintances most people actually have, and how lonely you can feel when you don't have them physically close to you.
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
10:05 There's a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Loneliness is a feeling unlike being alone which can overcome you even when you're surrounded by people. It's something everyone will experience at least once in their lifetimes and there is not much to enjoy about the feeling of loneliness. Being alone on the other hand can be really relaxing and you can actually enjoy having that time for yourself. Just felt like clearing that up. Great video tho overall 🖤
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
I’ve always thought of happiness as a talent, not a destination. I love this.
Nah. It's contentment. Doesn't require talent
@@cooliipie it does though. Happiness and contentment are two different things. Happiness is not a commodity one acquires, it’s not place or a situation, although these things can bring it. Happiness is a disposition. It’s a talent like music. If you have the disposition to it, you still have to practice the perspective all the time if you want to maintain it, exactly like a talent.
That's literally brilliant
❤
@@KantoCafe715 Thank you for the lovely comment! I just hope it helps people figure out how to be happy. It can become one’s disposition with practice.
@@s3vash if one is happy all the time, happiness will become valueless. But, it is still a talent.
The mental health aspect hits hard not only as a person who has issues but as a fan of Hana Kimura who watched Japanese people bully her into suicide. I felt powerless not being able to help.
It is alright to be concern or not know about what happens after this life. Fortunately there's a way to not suffer, not be in danger, not be poor, not get hurt, not have to work in vain, not have to feel any kind of negative vibe, and not to get tired anymore.
Imagine you will be invincible, immortal, and holy with a new, upgraded body to the core! Imagine everyone around you will be the same as you. Isn't that a delightful thought? It's true you or anyone can have eternal life.
All you got to do is to accept Jesus Christ 🙏 as your Savior! Once you do, He will let you into heaven during your day when you finally see Him!
Thank you for having some compassion for that woman. Too often online people’s worst moments are filmed and made fun of with no context and it makes my skin crawl because it’s frequently people who are disabled, neurodivergent or mentally unwell. I hope she’s doing ok and has some kind of support. I just feel sad seeing these videos.
Maybe that's on other Social Media platforms? CZcams is a much more tight-knit community if it comes to individual CZcamsrs... until there's overspill from Twitter, TikTok, etc.
It is alright to be concern or not know about what happens after this life. Fortunately there's a way to not suffer, not be in danger, not be poor, not get hurt, not have to work in vain, not have to feel any kind of negative vibe, and not to get tired anymore.
Imagine you will be invincible, immortal, and holy with a new, upgraded body to the core! Imagine everyone around you will be the same as you. Isn't that a delightful thought? It's true you or anyone can have eternal life.
All you got to do is to accept Jesus Christ 🙏 as your Savior! Once you do, He will let you into heaven during your day when you finally see Him!
As an introvert, and half japanese, I really understand how and why japanese society became more and more introvert if I could say that. Internet has really emphasized the introvert side of Japan. It's sooooo easy for an introvert to completely lose oneself on internet.
I've grown a lot with internet but after years of some kind of isolation, I really feel that I need real good interactions with people IRL. I was educated with this idea of "gaman", and still now I struggle to really open my emotions to people as if I didn't wanted to burden someone else life with my own problems. The tiktok video of this woman is so sad. It's like her emotions had to get out of her body. 😔😢
I also agree with the fact that you separate the internet and everyday life as two different worlds. I find it the healthiest way. Thanks for this video 🙏
As an introvert, COVID made me realized that I need more IRL social interactions. I started to hate just staying home by myself all weekend!
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
That video of the woman having a meltdown in public is very relatable. I live in Finland but I'm not a Finn and I am plagued with loneliness. It's an awful state to be in and I feel stuck.
How's your Finnish? If you know enough to make small talk with random people that should help. I dealt with loneliness in Japan by saying good morning to people or compliment them. Also just asking questions to retail workers. Just any kind of human interaction helps especially if it's positive. You'll feel more part of the community and like you exist.
@@clinton4161 My Finnish is intermediate. I speak enough I would say, not fluent yet but I'll get there. The feeling of loneliness reduces a bit when I''m at work, but it returns when I get home.
I hope your life will get much better.
@@k.e.1760 thank you 🙏🏼 for your kind words.
Try getting a hobby. Try talking to locals at the places you frequent. I swear, it's like most people WANT to live in loneliness and isolation. If you don't want to live that way, then don't. Break out of your egg and change.
I'm an introvert and really shy and have anxiety and I hate troubling others, so I always felt like if I ever moved to Japan it wouldn't be that hard for me to adjust. I've never been to Japan yet but hope to someday, but it's nice to know these things ahead of time. Thanks for the video Aki =) and even though I'm an introvert and mostly like to be alone, I do also like to socialize sometimes and I actually kinda feel better being around extroverts because it's kind of hard to talk to other introverts since we rely on others for conversation
Same
Nothing would change for me lmao
The question is whether you listen to other people's problems and help them? Because this isn't just about you not needing to share/trouble others, but also about being unable to help/support anybody else, because they don't share. That is the other side of that. So nothing would change for you if you hate troubling others and also hate it if anybody shares problems with you - it's a 2-way street
@@ThomasBachler01 oh yeah ofc it's important to listen to others and their problems. I wasn't meaning that at all. I always try to listen to people even if I don't have much to say. I hate seeing people sad and suffer. And I always heard that people in Japan keep to themselves and don't bother others, but I never really heard anyone say that it can be really lonely and depressing. So that's something I would consider if I ever went there, cause even though I'm an introvert and like to be alone a lot, I do still like to be around others too and get lonely. So basically I like the idea of not being bothered a lot if I was there, but not to the point of people never paying attention to you and having depression because of it. Especially if someone moves there it would be nice to know people and have friends
@@purinblossom oh no, I wasn't implying that you dismissed that part, but rather wanted to emphasized that not being able to help others can still be really hard for a person that likes to keep to themselves mostly - but I think you got that part 🙂
@@ThomasBachler01 Ohh ok ~ I understand now =) yeah it can be hard to help others but it's good to still try. So hopefully someday it will be better for everyone
We all feel lonely sometimes. Just remember we all ❤ you, your content and whenever I watch your material, I don't feel lonely at all. Your channel is so welcoming 😊
Thank you for bringing up this important subject/social issue. Meltdowns are not exclusive to Japan - this is a problem in many countries, especially among city folk. It also depends on the individual and how they handle the trials and tribulations of life. Some people can handle failure, setbacks, social/work pressure, & loneliness well while others can't. As for the lady in the TikTok video we don't have enough information to know the cause of her distress - perhaps she suffers from some psychological condition, or perhaps she finally reached her tipping point and just needed to vent her pent up emotions. We all need an outlet for the stress and pressures we experience or have accumulated, e.g. some people hit the gym after a long days work, others read a book or meditate, and yet others set up a meeting with their friends or go to a pub or bar and try to connect with people there. The problem is some of us are introverts or are socially challenged and find it terribly hard to make friends and connect with people even if we really want to which could eventually lead to self destructive habits or even suicide. It's up to the individual to try to correct their course and save themselves from crashing and having a catastrophic meltdown or a nervous breakdown.
You're right. Many people won't even try to make friends or socialize. Lots of my men neighbors between the ages 50-75 year olds would rather be antisocial and not go out. 🙄 What r their issues?
But you don't necessarily have to make friends when you don't feel lonely.
Just enjoy lonely life.
For me spending time with others stresses me out.
We are social creatures created by God.
You don’t seem to understand the difference between being alone and being lonely.
I personally have seen a few ‘public meltdowns’ in japan, it’s scary when it happens and even scarier that I’ve literally never once seen anyone stop to talk to these people…
When I was in Japan (before Aki and Jtubing), I never saw meltdowns, but I did see more "burn-outs" than I should have. Maybe it's a step in the right direction that the Japanese now feel they're free to melt down in public. The quiet burnouts clearly not all there were frankly more unsettling.
Why should they stop to talk to her she might attack them.
Is it really that hard to ask someone "Hey let's go sit on that bench and talk."?
Don't be too worried. People aren't blind, they just know there's nothing they can do and it could be dangerous. It's very, very likely someone contacted the police to help them.
@@Frozen_BubblesYeah, you just don’t do that in Tokyo… maybe you call the police to help, but just walking up to a stranger is totally frowned upon here… and it would most likely compound the lady’s mental state.
I’ve learned the hard way… I’ve been pulled to a koban plenty of times for just trying to help people…
I like how straight to the point this is
I like to visit Japan one day, but I don't think I can live in Japan. But no matter where I'm the world you go, they struggle mentally like we do. This is very insightful, Aki. Self reflection and self love is the key do deal with loneliness in general.
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
I’m going through some mentally hard times right now and have felt lonely along the way. It was rlly comforting hearing your words.
Maybe go exercise at some park or school and find strangers to chat with. I do that sometimes when I'm jogging, walking, or eating out in public. 😅
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you..
I hope u will feel better soon and meet some new 💓 friends. 🎉
I have always wanted to travel, and Japan is one of the many places that I want to see one day. So I am very happy you brought this topic up. Thank you for sharing your own experiences, Aki, because it lets all of us know ahead of time what to expect. Loneliness and depression or any kind of mental illness are tough subjects to go through, let alone talk about. I hope that girl got the help she needed and that anybody who is suffering with a mental illness knows they are not alone even though it feels like it. I love watching your videos, and no matter what path you take, just know we will always be here to support you! ❤️
True. Hope the young lady got someone to chat with. ❤
I wanted to just give the girl in that video a hug 😢 poor thing! I really hope that since her face isn't really shown people don't find out who she is and make fun of her more, especially with the suicide rate there. It really breaks my heart
Dude you can experience this in America. If you live in the country and move to the city. The same thing happens. And they even speak the same language. It's just a different dialect. Or vice versa. I know a person who moved to The state I live in because of their parents. They got sad as hell. To the point where they were on antidepressants. They don't even live here anymore I don't think. I think they moved back.
Your acquaintance sounds weak.
People forget how large and varied the USA actually is.
@@peoplethesedaysberetardedOnly weak one here is you being an itter shitstain because you don't get enough attention irl and negative attention online is the obly way you get people to acknowledge your existence
Mate, I think you missed the point of the video. Aki literally said that other countries have this too, but loneliness is dialed up to 11 in Japan.
Difference between Japan and America is that the US is incredibly multicultural, so even foreigners would have an easier time finding potential friends from a similar background. The US is "louder" and more "open" as Aki described it. Also, the states have a ton of resources regarding mental health. Obviously, people can still feel lonely in America, but as Aki said, you are much more likely to feel this way in Japan.
Loneliness is real and it isnt just about "make more friends" its about having a place where you feel safe and welcomed. Joining a community like a church can help with that feeling. I personally am not a religious person, so I joined a dance school that has annual classes. Not the 10 week classes. The benefit of the annual class is that you actually become close with the people in your class naturally over time. And the school has just become a place were I know no matter how shitty my day was, I will leave school feeling better.
Agree.
I spent 7 years there. Teaching English was rewarding, but reading the Japan Times daily and some English TV and books were my only points of keeping my own language alive. Friends were still students, and nothing outside of media were my mainstays. I miss it and I don't at the same time.
It's good u were humble enough to socialize with your students. Japanese kids r far less vulgar and obnoxious compared to American kids. I'm glad u have some good memories in jap.
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
😊
I'll admit, everyone feels lonely at some point in their lives, but what is important is to not dwell on such things. Reach out to friends and family when you need some company. Despite my social anxiety, I've found sometimes getting out of the house and going out somewhere will help.
Unfortunately most men from their 40s to 80s won't. I got plenty of old men neighbors who would rather be alone. What kind of mental illnesses are they going through?
I visited. I always felt watched in the sense of a) people being helpful and looking out for me and b) people silently regarding me as an ill mannered toddler and it did make me more self conscious
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
🎉
Asians r very self conscious especially in Japan, China, and Korea. These countries will always be slaves to how da public view them.
Loneliness lingers in us all. Much like how one can be the most happy, seem have everything set, and the works. But deep down, they're in te most pain out of all of this. That stuff is real, and I hope we can all get help and support we need.
Yes thats true. 💯
Same in America. I think lots of the younger and older people (50, 60, 70s) need mental therapies. There's so much crime here. People of all age rage frequently in public. America is getting far worse now than 5 years ago.
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
😊
Funny thing. Here in switzerland it feels strange to eat alone in a restaurant. But in japan it was not a problem. It didn't feel strange. It was just normal and a lot of others did the same. I really enjoyed it.
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you..
Switzerland 🇨🇭 has less money expectations, and people enjoy life and being physically active.
In America 🇺🇸, there r so many mental issues everywhere among poor and rich people. Americans don't wanna exercise especially the traditional American men. They rather stay home and do their own diy projects while they don't take care of their families. And then they have no desire to socialize outside. It's pretty bad here.
that 'public meltdown' you highlighted occurs literally every single day in some form on NYC, Chicago, San Fran, or Baltimore public transpo ...
Even in my smaller town i see it all the time but im pretty sure its 99 percent homeless people with a lot of stress and substance problems
As a Filipino-American, I definitely felt a lonely when living in Japan. It was hard to connect on a personal level with Japanese people and I never could tell if they genuinely liked me or not. I’m super introverted but I was really craving human connection when I was there, and the pandemic made that even worse
I feel exactly the same. I’m Canadian living in Japan for over 12 years now. By far the social isolation in Japan is the most difficult. I can’t wait to get out of this country. I’m actually considering moving to the Philippines 🇵🇭.
@@ShikokuFoodForest How were you able to move over there when you did?!
Godly Reproof
Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it.
(Psalm 141:5)
We all need a little correction sometimes. We get a little bit off the path and do something we shouldn’t do. Or, maybe we’re engaged in something that isn’t bad but appears to be bad. It can send out the wrong signal.
In times like these a Christian friend, instead of gossiping about us, may approach us and say, “You know what? I think this could be a problem. You might not want to do this. You might want to be careful and really put your guard up in this area.”
It might sting a little bit to hear that. We may even feel a little embarrassed. But at the same time, we’ll be thankful that a friend cared and told us the truth.
David wrote in one of his psalms, “Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it”
(Psalm 141:5)
He was saying, “Let those who are godly, who are righteous, correct me if necessary.”
The great British preacher C. H. Spurgeon said of this verse, “He prefers the bitters of gracious company to the dainties of the ungodly. He would rather be smitten by the righteous than be feasted by the wicked. He gives a permit to faithful admonition, he even invites it.”
The Bible says, “An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy”
(Proverbs 27:5-6)
However, sometimes we’ll bludgeon people with the truth instead of lovingly share it to prevent them from going the wrong direction. But Ephesians 4:15 reminds us, “Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church”
A true friend, a true man or woman of God, will tell you the truth and try to keep you from hurting yourself.
@@threeeyedtribe Hello, your comment is very interesting. Can you please explain what motivated your comment? I’m attempting to connect the relevance. ThAnk you.
@@faith9505 Could you please explain the relevance of this very interesting comment? What motivated you to write this? Thank you.
Usually, in Australia and the U.S., people who cannot speak English properly cannot make close friends.
Even Japanese people cannot make close friends with foreigners even if they want to, because communication is difficult unless they can at least have daily conversations in Japanese.
If you are a foreigner and want to make Japanese friends, the shortcut is to study Japanese conversation step by step and join Japanese people who are interested in the same things (whether athletic or cultural).
I swear people this video was one minute in and people are saying "wow so informative" lol but Aki for whatever im about to watch, nice video
Your words are so true and encouraging. Struggling with anxiety myself is difficult at times. Prioritizing our mental health is so important❤
You did a really great job covering things that can lead to loneliness living in Japan, like honne and tatemae, especially for people from the States. I lived there for a year, already had a good grasp on the language, and even though I had a great time for the most part, there were times I really struggled. I think you proposed a lot of great solutions, regardless of whether you’re in a new country or the one you were born and raised in. I think having a strong social network (good friends and such) and just not putting as much pressure and stress on yourself can also make a huge difference. Thanks for the great video and for your honesty.
Here japanese isn't really good....
I felt this way while I lived in Japan :( It was very difficult for me to make friends cause I have a hard time talking to new people (I'm autistic) and being alone unfortunately created more negative scenarios in my head. I've thankfully have gotten better at dealing with my loneliness and have started engaging with more people through hobbies. Thanks for the great advice, Aki.
🎉 good job!
There's a big difference between being lonely and just being alone.
God created us to be social creatures. 🙏
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
Loved this video so much!
It means so much to hear you speak openly about loneliness and share your personal experiences with it. Your channel is amazing and I love the content but hearing you express that even you, too, feel lonely and anxious at times makes me feel much less alone. Thanks you 💙
Please make more content like this!
Japan isn't a place for everyone who needs friends. Japan is definitely my destination to live as someone who looks forward to live by myself since I don't like being bothered by people too much. I hope lonely people in Japan will eventually get help as well.
This is so true.
I'm Japanese and I'm lonely in Japan, but I can enjoy hanging out by myself in this country.
If the Japanese people would go outside that would help. They can't stay introvert and indoor or spent 60 hrs at work.
That's the problem in Asia like in Korea and China too.
@@salade99hope u find few people to chat with. We r social creatures created by God. We can't be alone often. I look at my male neighbors from 50s, 60s, and 70s and they just rather be alone. Meanwhile their wives go out and enjoy lives. 😊
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
@@salade99You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
This really hits hard. I guess I'm going through one of those "phases". I used to be very introverted in school, I basically had 0 friends, but I really wanted to not be like that when I went to college and I genuinely crave for extroverted people, hanging out and stuff. Problem is, literally everyone I befriended are introverted to some extent and it feels so frustrating to organize a hangout with them and I just recently stopped feeling depressed about myself. Only took 2 part-time jobs and full-time college. Anyways, I'm planning on moving out and I have my fingers crossed that people in the new place will be kind to me else I really have to throw myself at them lol. Lots of love Aki!
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
❤
If you want to know how Japanese people feel without "tatemae", I recommend adding Japanese subtitles.
By doing so, you can learn more about Japan and Japanese people from the comments.
And you should be able to know many realities.
I don't think that understanding is deepened only by providing and sharing information in English.
This is such a great video! I feel like I've heard the things you said it in a million times, but its easy to forget sometimes, and you explained it all so well ♥
I've been living in Japan for 5 years. Now I'm in Tokyo, but most of my friends are in Nagoya (2 hours by bullet train away). There are often times I'm lonely and get in a negative headspace but, going off of enjoying being lonely, I think self-dates are important. I really like KPop, so I might go to a cafe or restaurant that my favorite member went to or even just get a fresh haircut and Starbucks after. I haven't been able to go back to America for a while, but I was thankful to go back last summer. I'm also an introvert and I feel Japan makes me even more introverted sometimes, going home to America is always my reset.
Honestly a lot of the developed world including here in the U.S can become pretty lonely if you don’t have friends you grew up with. It’s probably best to go to country like Japan with your spouse or partner, that way you can enjoy it with someone. Your speech at the end about the end about negative thinking & having a negative mindset was so spot on. It’s just thoughts at the end of the day
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you.
I really like this, because even though it's very sad, it's good to know all these issues. But not only does it show the negative but it shows the positive or how to overcome everything. Thank you aki! :)
My fave video of yours, Aki!! Thank you!! So perfectly done!!
been living that way my life. it has been hard to find and talk to a therapist. I now moved to another state. I now have to start all over again with finding a therapist (the one I had does not have license to treat me in another state.) i can empathize with the topic you cover. Thank you for talking.
May God bless you in finding an understanding and caring therapist!
Love your content always very informative ❤
TWO great pieces of advice, Aki.
Alone derives from the phrase 'all one'. We will always be alone, get acquainted with yourself and that fact and you will not feel alone anymore. CHANGING THE MINDSET Generally, you feel more 'loneliness' the more you surround yourself with people (friends, partner/spouse, online contact. ADDICTION TO SOCIAL MEDIA: I do not have social media and feel free and content. I spend a maximum of an hour on CZcams per day. I mostly study alone, read alone, write alone, and feel 'all one', whole, complete, and content. I am not a recluse, I go outside and interact with people daily. Volunteer time to help out with the community and have a full-time job as well as university where I find myself forced to be around others and interact with them. In England, it is similar to Japan's "put on a face" Why? To be polite, and considerate and to make others feel seen/heard. Other people can be too self-absorbed in their own issues, and project that onto their friends, partners, internet, etc but this is not the polite thing to do. Counseling is the place in which personal issues are best dealt with. Reflecting on other people's troubles in comparison to your own life is not healthy either which circles me back to the world of social media. Change your mindset on a private and personal journey, detox from social media and taking pictures of yourself, detox from ALL of this - with the support of professionals, and when people see your true peace and joy, they will without a doubt want to know and imitate your way of living.
You've really helped me reflect on several things about my life and myself and how to help going forward, in just the very short end part of this video. Thank you so much. I have lots to think about and unpack. Thanks again. This has helped me a great deal.
This video really hit close to home for me, thank you Aki for shedding light on this topic and sharing your thoughts. It really made me think about my own situation.
Stopped feeling lonely after about 10 years of feeling loneliness in Sweden, now I'm just alone but no longer longely. I don't suffer from social anxiety either, I have a full-time job but mostly work remotely from home.
Same. I don’t feel I’m miserable at all but other people tend to think like “you have to be more social or your life sucks”. Personally, I believe being used to lonely is being mature. Once you realize you don’t need to hangout friends everyday and focus on what you really want to do in your life instead, you’ll be happier just a little bit more.
@@ncp9095 I't say it's somewhat double-edged, having no family and not being able to see any friends more than a couple of times a year does kind of suck even if you're really introverted
So?
You live your life and don’t have to be around people?
Is this your point?
@@Sohiresnot really. There are some studies saying that people with more IQ tends to be more alone & its not hurting them in any way. Its not rule but not everyone need some fake ass humans around.
I've watched you ever since I was 8 years old, I'm 16 now and may I just say, you've been an inspiration for me for such a long time🤧
Very good video! I love that you talk about this topic as it is something that some people might actually suffer with.
Keep up your great work.
And remember, always see the positive side of things, and remember that there’s always people who feel the same as you 💙
Just found your channel and it’s funny because I’m half Filipino and lived in Japan back in 98/2000. Been wishing to get back desperately! I love the culture, beauty, food, and peace. I really regret not doing more while I was there but am extremely grateful to have had the experience. Btw Sub’d!
Japan is pretty introverted, but also the feeling of loneliness is also a common by moving to a new place.
I mean, I literally lonely for Probably 3 years when moving to Paraguay, but over time, you do adapt with it or get used to it.
But maybe it’s just my experience, for me I always wanted to see Japan again, since it was the country of my childhood.
But I am very much aware of it’s flaws and darker sides
Even though I am seldom lonely, you have lots of thoughtful advice here for those who are, Aki. The most important thing you advised is to change your mindset. It works. When I was in forced isolation due to covid, after painting my kitchen and catching up on the long-avoided items on my To Do List, I decided to embrace the situation--in the Buddhist way. I deliberately adopted a monastic-style life, doing all the necessary routine domestic tasks mindfully, as well as spending time in meditation, contemplation and mindful self care.
One of the mistakes non-Japanese people can make when living in Japan is seeking out "Japanese friends" to the exclusion of ex-pats. As if friendships with ex-pats doesn't count as highly as friendships with Japanese people (which can be hard to make when language skills aren't equal). There's also the reluctance to connect with ex-pats as the fact that they will leave looms over the relationship. I think it's helpful to embrace that--in a Buddhist way--as well. Everything is transient. Don't let that stop you from embracing the now--along with whoever might be with you in that now.
Joining classes and or shared-interest groups is also a way of connecting with others--whether that's around food, hobbies, cultural activities, sports and the like. I don't think we necessarily need deep intimacy in all of our connections, but the pleasure of sharing time and common interests with others does alleviate loneliness for those who feel it intensely.
I’m a long time viewer who hardly comments on any videos, but I really want to commend you for addressing this so sincerely. I appreciate how you not only talked about the topic, but how you also presented viewers with advice that could actually be helpful and that this wasn’t just another video about mental health sponsored by Better Health. I wish more content creators living abroad would do the same in the concise and thoughtful way you did.
When you spoke about the concern about attracting attention and people staring at you, that really resonated with me. This is also a thing in my country, and it made me very anxious throughout my childhood and my teenage years. To be constantly wary of every little thing you do in public is very exhausting. Now, I live in a country where people don't really care and I feel very liberated.
I know it's hard to be social in Japan as it's difficult to make friends. Especially when you're a foreigner in the country. But seeing the clip of the mental breakdown and no one helping is so shocking. I can somewhat understand holding it in so you don't inconvenience others, but it's best not to bottle it up. It just makes it worse. I feel so bad for that woman... No one deserves to go through something like that.
Thank you for the video, Aki. It was a tough subject but it was also very informative.
I've been here for a year and I really thought that I will be doing great since I was always able to easily change myself to fit in. Man I was so wrong. I live in a smaller city which already limits places where you can hang out and meet other people and I still wasn't able to make ANY Japanese friends. I have 2 Japanese aquaintances but it's kinda impossible to get closer with them. And it's in the university where it's relatively easy to meet new people. I've made some foreign friends but most of them only come here for a semester and then they leave. It's so sad when you have to always travel alone, celebrate new year with random strangers in the bar, go out alone. I can honestly see how easy it is to become a hikikomori here
This video has helped me a lot. As some one who just moved to a different state and is currently un employed I find myself getting into really dark spirals because all I do is sit with my thoughts and over think things moving to a new place in general is so stressful this has helped open my eyes a lot.
Even though I live in the US I find myself dealing with those exact thoughts and going through that mental process. Seeing your video kinda in a way reminded me of what options, and sometimes opportunities there are to help break the vicious cycle. thanks aki
I think it’s mostly in Asian Countries like Japan and China or Korea where most people are bystanders and don’t want to associate with others even when it comes to respect and honor.
as someone who is half asian , half Romanian. but lives in America (for now) , Romania is probably the worst of the three, as putting on a face or showing weakness of any sort may get u ostracized from your community. Japan may sometimes feel automaton like, but most of the young pp i know personally from japan think tatamae is equivalent to boomer bs, japan is changing its just doing it slower then even the poltically stricken USA
@@dariyanvalentine3564 I agree, I am fully Asian and I agree with that of putting on a face and feeling isolated because of that self honor.
@@BloomssomX so how do asian people deal with that? for me as a western guy...i pretty much cant wrap my head around how people can survive and live their lives under so much pressure to conform all the time.
i consider myself a western hikikomori. i have no friends, no gf, no contact with my relatives anymore. i have a few workcolleagues i talk to but i never say what i really think because everyone who thinks different of the mainstream is getting outcasted anyway.
i feel like the west nowadays is on the way to becoming more in the style of asian countries. where you never talk open about politics if you dont have the same views, the majority of people have etc.
but i know that what i experience, is nothing compared to what asians experience. i think i would break down living with all these expectations or become hikikomori.
because i am a lone wolf. i am very introverted and i dont like having to conform to anyone. i do it at work but in my freetime i do what i want. i wouldnt be able to deal with the pressure of the family and all this other stuff asians have to deal with.
how do you let go of all the bottled up emotions? isnt it extremly damaging to yourself to bottle up your emotions all the time.
i feel like i am so bad at the concept of face. i would never be able to do it. i am not very good at acting, so i just cant do it.
i wouldnt be able to control my facial expressions from expressing emotions and stuff.
It's getting pretty bad here in the US too
you're amazing, all your content is truly peak yt
I love this kind of content, being realistic to whats happening to us and adapting to change or anything has its ups and downs. Its up to us to either deal with it or do something to it.
Thank you Aki. I love watching your videos I feel like I am having a deep conversation with my friend. Especially appreciate your advice about having lots of hobbies 🎀
I’ve been living in Japan as a half-Japanese half-American for the past 5.5 years, and the pandemic was the toughest thing - losing my job and all my friends (who went back to their countries). On top of that, I got married and continued working remotely from home in Japan, so it literally feels like a never ending quarantine. I’ve tried hanging out with other foreign friends but because the pool is small it’s difficult to find people to really connect with (and it takes time). I joined a hula performance group which was 100% older Japanese women and after six months I could say I still hadn’t made a single friend! I quit because it was way too expensive and I didn’t find the community I was looking for… Though one thing that always calms me down is watching ナミのくらし, a vlog about living single life in Tokyo ❤ It makes me feel like I can romanticize my lonely life here just a little.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Aki. When I moved to the US (I grew up in Japan), I was impressed by the phrase "How are you?". Even if it doesn't mean anything, like at a cash register, I was like "Wow, human interaction here!".
Please take care. You don't need to blame yourself. Your feeling is important.
Gosh, this was so felt. I lived in LA for a period alone and totally went through the same (mainly isolated/didn’t know anyone, etc). However, I just did come back from Japan two days ago, and the entire time my anxiety was at its highest just from stares I would get on the JR/trains. Granted, I am a foreigner with severe anxiety, so it makes sense and I chose to ignore it, but it’s so important to talk about how mentally wise it is insane with the negativity. I totally loved the part where you talked about the 50000 thoughts a day, I didn’t even realize that and glad to hear I’m not the only one who experiences this.
I needed to hear some of this today , ive been lonely and depressed so this was a good mindful conversation to have
My parents tell me I should live abroad and I said "Hell nah, cause I will be so lonely mentally"
I had the opportunity to live in Japan and teach English, where presumably all my expenses would be paid for, but realizing I’d know NO ONE was what kept me state-side.
実は、英語の先生は日本では尊敬されてません。なぜなら日本に住みたいだけのレベルの低い外国人が多いからです。
Aki, thank you for so much for this video. I have been living in Japan for about 3.5 years and I agree with everything you said. I live in Sendai and I still can’t speak Japanese past a beginner’s level. So I struggle with the loneliness too. However as you said, there are a lot of great things about living here too. I am still trying to decide if this is the place for me, but I also try to focus on the blessings I have rather than just the negatives. Have a blessed day!
Thank you for sharing your experience Aki ❤ I lived in Japan when I was studying abroad there and whilst the UK isn’t perfect and needs to change too so does Japan. The whole attitude of がまん and keeping things to yourself really does affect you to the point where I now suffer from panic attacks from bottling up all my anxiety because I felt I couldn’t speak to anyone as I always got the feeling none of the staff at my Japanese university or friends wanted to know about it.
also from what Japanese vlogs I saw online ironically otakus are somewhat the least lonely bunch because they are seen gathering together as a group sharing their hobbies with each other.
It was so hard watching the girl just have that breakdown. The fact that someone brought out their phone and recorded instead of helping her or trying to calm her is just sickening. I hope she is ok and gets the help she needs ♥️
It is sad, but I'm kinda glad they recorded it because people need to see that bottling up your emotions can do. It's so easy to bottle up your emotions if you feel lonely. That fallacy of *no* *one* wants to talk/hear my problems again only exasperates the loneliness & other emotions we're experiencing (desperation, (self) frustration, etc.
Godly Reproof
Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it.
(Psalm 141:5)
We all need a little correction sometimes. We get a little bit off the path and do something we shouldn’t do. Or, maybe we’re engaged in something that isn’t bad but appears to be bad. It can send out the wrong signal.
In times like these a Christian friend, instead of gossiping about us, may approach us and say, “You know what? I think this could be a problem. You might not want to do this. You might want to be careful and really put your guard up in this area.”
It might sting a little bit to hear that. We may even feel a little embarrassed. But at the same time, we’ll be thankful that a friend cared and told us the truth.
David wrote in one of his psalms, “Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it”
(Psalm 141:5)
He was saying, “Let those who are godly, who are righteous, correct me if necessary.”
The great British preacher C. H. Spurgeon said of this verse, “He prefers the bitters of gracious company to the dainties of the ungodly. He would rather be smitten by the righteous than be feasted by the wicked. He gives a permit to faithful admonition, he even invites it.”
The Bible says, “An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy”
(Proverbs 27:5-6)
However, sometimes we’ll bludgeon people with the truth instead of lovingly share it to prevent them from going the wrong direction. But Ephesians 4:15 reminds us, “Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church”
A true friend, a true man or woman of God, will tell you the truth and try to keep you from hurting yourself.
Same here in the usa. They take out they collies but no help.
You are a special and unique person. Your life & soul matter. Your life is very short compared to eternity.
Therefore if you want to spend eternity on heaven after your life here on earth 🌎, you should believe in your heart ❤️ that Jesus Christ is your Savior. If you don't, you will miss going to heaven and end up in the lake of fire. It is terrible so I beg you to make the only correct decision for God to allow you to go to heaven. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life. 🙏 Have a nice day. God does love ❤️ you..
Great vid.. one of your best ones yet.
Hope the young lady who was distressed was ok in the end.
Keep up the good work. X
I felt this way too! I’m an American born Chinese/Taiwanese, and moved to China in 2016 away from my family and friends. There were definitely some tough times for me, and staying busy and reaching out/networking really helped improve my experience here. There are still some tough days, but the good definitely outweighs the bad!
The horrid part is that conversation about such problems help those suffering to process these emotions, but onlookers are often too scared to involve themselves, regardless of country.
Thank you for the thoughtful approach to this video Akidearest.
It really feels like loneliness reaches new boss levels in adulthood--but i agree that knowing youre not the only one is comforting
Thanks for speaking up and out about this. Feelings are valid and sometimes they linger and seem to be out of our control. I feel it's difficult for so many people to talk about their mental health and to truly understand how to control it or even how to deal with it. Whether it be friends, family or cultural. You mentioned distracting yourself or calling someone when you feel lonely and I wanted to add that it can be very comforting and even therapeutic to create things, get outside, and speak with people in a safe space. Also meditating, calm breathing breaks and general Social Emotional Learning are becoming prevalent in education nowadays with kids, but you said the exact age group Aki. So many 18-30ish years old and those above as well did not have any supports, education, and access to the general knowledge of mental health. Seeking these things are reasonably overdue and if anyone makes you feel bad or ashamed for how you feel, you may want to seek a different outlet
Honestly, I don’t live in Japan but I related to this video so much and it actually really did help me with the mindset I had for the longest time. Thank you aki you’re so strong 💕🌸🍓
I'm actually in Japan and will be until summer of 2024. I got here about a little over a month ago. My mom is Japanese, so I have a bit of background in Japan, but that being said sometimes I just don't feel happy. Whether its anxiety, fear of disappointing or loneliness, I just haven't been feeling the best (even though its only been a month). Meeting up with relatives and family friends still feel like it doesnt really have any meaning, and going out to do stuff just doesnt feel fun at times. Everything feels off, and it especially since im 17 I really have to think about college plans/post highschool plans when I get back.
It feels like im disconnected from my responsibilities, yet have more than ever
As you mentioned, since I have an American mindset, I don't mind if people look at me or anything, but sometimes it feels like im isolated here and it just sucks. I don't know how else to put it but this video explains it perfectly. Im really glad (and feel bad) that there others who are experiencing similar feelings, and talking to my dad and mom about didn't really help since they don't really feel the same way.
Thank you for making this video.
It's ok bro stay strong, it's a deeply unhappy and rigorous society. That's why there are so many ghosts in japan
Sounds a lot like depression to me. I know, because i have been diagnosed with it recently and I am having very similar symptoms. I advise you to seek help from a professional if possible. Otherwise it could get worse. Trust me, I waited almost too long before looking for help.
I feel lonely here in Fukuoka - but more at peace. If that makes sense. But I knew what I was signing up for and I'm here for it.
This is all really great advice. I’ve personally used option 1 and 2 and it’s helped immensely. Keep yourself busy
I just turned 50 and live in the US. I’m bipolar and have severe anxiety. I’m on meds, see a therapist, but it doesn’t help. I’ve have few friends, a lousy support network and the only friend who bothered with me is an energy vampire. For years, I never realized how draining she was, how much time I spent listening to her woes (she called at least a half dozen times a day). Even if I didn’t pick up, I was still stressed that she was even calling AGAIN. And she would always put me down, make my troubles and my major health issues seem invalid… No one could be worse off or sicker than her. It felt as if I was never able to speak, just listen to her complain. One day, I had a meltdown of nuclear proportions. It was so bad… Then I did the smart thing. I turned on the focus thing in my phone and she wasn’t on it. I felt so much better when I could focus on myself. I needed that. It’s been weeks. I’m still not okay and need more time, but I’m doing better. Sometimes sharing can be overdone.
Remember: Your feelings are always valid, no matter what. Do the things you like to do. Do you have a certain hobby? Perform it! Have you tried to meditate? You can try it! And not to forget: Never lose hope and always believe in yourself. Your valid like anyone else. 😊
My economics textbook said that people experience losses much greater than gains, and I think that can be applied to loneliness, at least for me personally. It's easy to dwell on the smallest negative experiences and forget the things/people that bring you joy. I hope everyone that feels this way knows they aren't alone
I’m half-Japanese living in japan for almost 10 years now. I don’t see myself staying here forever. The work and social culture here are the most challenging for me.
Thank you for this aki, we love you!!❤
An excellent subject and well presented! I’ve been victim to such thoughts on numerous trips to Japan, usually when I’m left alone due to my friends going to work etc. I kept having to remind myself that I was on holiday, they were not.
In preparation for a new podcast, I’ve been learning a lot about Culture Shock, and I’m wondering if your friend you spoke about early on - the one who wants to move home - isn’t suffering through one of the stages of culture shock.
Thanks also for not presenting the poor girl on the street corner as something to be ridiculed or laughed at…mental health (and treatments) is a serious issue in Japan that they’re only just really coming to grips with. I’ve personally witnessed two folks (on separate occasions) with fairly severe mental issues being ignored but those around them, and feeling utterly helpless because I wouldn’t begin to know what to do, or who to call for help.
Well done Aki!