reacting to your assumptions about me
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- čas přidán 26. 04. 2019
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I discuss marriage, children and cheese, all those things women get asked about on the daily.
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"I'm very easily sucked into cults" is my favorite reason I have ever heard for avoiding astrology.
As a lesbian I really appreciate you saying outright that you know yourself to be a straight person and in doing so lay claim to the privilege that comes along with that. It is NOT for me to distinguish who these people are specifically (ie for some it could be a deeply felt reality) but in general I feel like there is a phenomenon of more and more women in liberal internet circles answering this question with like ‘who knows??’ or whatever because they’d hypothetically hook up with a girl someday if they were drunk and their boyfriend was okay with it. I know it sounds flippant but as someone who still as an adult woman grapples with residual shame and stigma about being gay it weirdly means a lot for someone who does not deal with that to be clear that my experience is different from theirs and they’re here to learn about it. Thanks Leena!
YES!! I feel this so much!! I've noticed his phenomenon too and I'm glad someone else sees it!
I feel like so hard
Yes! Although I feel like it's a product of today's society where younger people are so exposed to such a massive variety of potential labels and information about sexuality (it's an improvement on previous generations obviously, but it is a lot of information to process) that they may feel they have to "choose" (for want of a better word.... For example, I identify as bi. But other people have told me I "should" identify as pan) and the message that "everybody is a bit bi" that has circled around. I guess it's confusing and making people think more about it. A lot of people maybe couldn't rule out the possibility of liking someone of the same gender as they may feel like they "haven't met the right person yet". So I understand why people stay vague about their labels, I did for years, but as you said, if it's just "yeah I'll hook up with a girl if I'm drunk" not "I could possibly fall in love with a girl someday if she was right for me" it's not OK.
i literally scrolled down to write this exact comment!
I'm glad it came across okay, this was a lovely comment to read, thank you x
I wish I had heard the phrase "show your scars not your wounds" sooner before I talked about some stuff that are still open concepts for me. Also I like this video length. :)
When it comes to what she was referring to though (feelings/attitudes about important life decisions) I prefer a metaphor from Buffy the Vampire Slayer: (paraphrased for brevity) "still cookie dough - not done baking - when I'm cookies I'll let you know". A more positive metaphor that doesn't evoke trauma (unless trauma is relevant for you when it comes to those questions).
I'd sort of like to know why though...why not show your wounds? What is the negative that can come of that?
@@thewhitewingedcat Because wounds make some people very uncomfortable, and these people more often will react by being judgemental, shun you, or write you off as an attention seeker than be compassionate or helpful to you.
Salmons instinctively know their way and are completely self motivated in their goal
Salmon are great
Be a Salmon! :D
hahah I'm going to tell people that from now on, thank you!
You’re welcome love your channel :) great video
!!!
I feel so much better about my patronus also being a salmon now, thank you
I'm pretty sure Evanna Lynch (the actress who played Luna Lovegood) also got salmon, even though she REALLY wanted a cat. So you're in good company at least!
Also they manage to swim upstream fucking waterfalls! While being hunted by bears. Salmons are badass!!
not relevant at all but I really like your hair in this video
hair is always relevant. I call it the 'travelling so didn't wash' look.
'My patronus is a salmon.'
Leena, you win the internet for the day.
I'm disappointed that the only contribution I feel I can make to this conversation is: I feel your patronus experience, mine was a mole.
hahah I just googled some good facts about moles to tell you and apparently they can dig up to 18 feet in one hour - which would suggest they are a very useful patronus, especially if you need to break in to gringotts !
okay now I feel a little bit cooler than I did before @@leenanorms
Show your scars not wounds is such a good way to think about it, and know what's healthy to share. Though I think self-expression in art can be healing, so in some cases showing wounds can be good.
Agreed!
I genuinely loled at "you think fairy lights are passe"! what a random assumption
That question on judgement. I feel you! I struggle with that ALL THE TIME!
I love your videos, it's like a deep conversation with your friend where you talk to figure out shit and you go on a complete journey of self discovery. I'm a few years younger than you but in recent years I have started to become a lot more reflective person and analyse myself and explore who I am, why I feel or do things. I feel like this channel helps to me ask the questions and to think about things I've never thought of , or just punch my fist in the air and shout yessss!!!
can you please start your own podcast about life/millennial problems? you are so intelligent and i love listening to you speak:) so many of the millennial podcasts feel so uneducated to me, and i feel like starting my morning listening to you talk about things actually would make my brain flourish! that's probably a weird comment, but take it as a compliment. ty for your videos leena xx
the intro is G R E A T i almost choked to death with my tea. fortunately, i did manage to survive it, which meant that i could enjoy the next 24 minutes of the vid. i really liked the take on marriage and how it can actually be good to hold back on expressing opinions on things you haven't really worked through - i feel like i've somehow become a person that has strong views on literally everything and sometimes i don't pay enough attention to where they come from
you're one of the rare ppl on youtube who i'd gladly listen to talk for 20+ minutes (and longer ofc). I feel like I always learn something or think about a topic I haven't yet thought about
I have the same feeling about writing as you. When I write I never think I should be anywhere else. So well put Lena!
I really love the way you articulate your thoughts, keeps me coming back to your vids. I do get a a strong vibe tho that you think you’re right about everything. It would be cool to see you have a convo/debate with someone who you disagree with on climate/feminism/socialism
The breaking routine to help you brain, comment, hit on something I've realised really helps me but couldn't work out how to express. That's it :) I've left the house in the morning sometimes, and decided I'm going to have a hot chocolate in town instead of going to the library, more extreme, I've moved to another country and got my shit together. Now I just need to do it deliberately and consciously and work out ways I can do it which still allow me to work towards whatever goal I'm aiming for.
Don’t mind me, binge watching your content as far back as two years ago. *sings in Rihanna* where have you been all my laaa - haaa - haaa - ife
When you call it a "patronus diagnosis", you make it sound much more medical than it actually is :D Sorry to hear you have chronic salmon, I hear they can treat that though!
This has been interesting to watch. I've always thought of myself as a person who'd get along in one to one convos, but never in groups. Glad to know of that in you as well.
I think there's a lot of TV shows that champion group friendships over 1 to 1s, made me feel bad for a long time that I didn't have a set group of 6 friends who I would know for 10 years + ! ;) x
I found your comment about scars not wounds very interesting and insightful and i feel like i have pracitced it most of my life but have started trying to be a bit more vulnerable.
how do you go about opening up and talking about your thought processes and struggles whilst still tending to and protecting your wounds.
i'd love to hear your thoughts.
a very interesing and personable video with way more depth than to be expected, well done leena!
i loved this video! and to be honest... you really made me rethink my idea of marriage. I'm not a religious person and I never questioned the religious aspects of it that much. Thank you for the food for thought :)
the whole city public primary school thing is so interesting! I had a very similar experience with some friends from a private school in Oxford (for non English folk Oxford is incredibly expensive to live in anyway so the private schools usually have very rich people go to them) who couldn't believe my public school did trips to North America and various countries in Africa. So many of my teachers are incredibly passionate and yeah, I've just never heard someone else from a public school have that experience. Super super interesting video!! xx
Yeah, I think it's the agenda of fee paying schools to spread the lie that all state-funded edication is inadequate - call me conspiracy theory carol, but just saying it would keep them in business ;) Glad I'm not alone in getting that vibe from people x
damn, you are sooo nice to listen to! those 25 minutes went so fast, you're great!
now to binge-watch all of your videos x
Aw I'm glad it wasn't too long. There's plenty more chatter where that came from, hopefully you won't be short of my wittering on material! x
Great video. Also yess please, a future video on accents and class in Britain
I believe that it is not about "not judging" because we can't escape that. But it's more about knowing when your judging someone and then being careful about what come out of your mouth and what your actions show. Also understanding when your personal preference, stereotypes and that kind of stuff comes in.
Holy fuck if that isn’t me when you said “I say things out loud to see if they’re true.” (Paraphrasing) I needed that verbalized. Thanks! Super fun video
Oh, I love thinking about and talking about accents and identity. Since I moved south, being from the north has become tied to my identity in a new way. My friends find it funny that as soon as I start talking about my childhood or hometown or things that I associate with that, my accent gets more prominent. I actually love my accent and wish it would always be that obvious!
Procrastinating my Drama thesis. This has made me giggle immensely
It's funny that you mention a lot in your video about wanting to be a better communicator yet you are a gemini, Geminis are the sign for communication and you definitely come across as very articulate and a good communicator😀 have faith ❤️
I knew when I was fourteen that I didn't want kids. Forty years later and I stand by that decision.
i really appreciate the way you answered the sexuality assumption/question! that's being a true ally x
Fellow Gemini here! My favourite colour is also orange, with the spirit colour of purple. As an artist, I have a theory that people who love orange are also drawn to purple, because of how well they contrast. You have such interesting views on life, and I appreciate how you speak reflectively. I really look forward to your videos.
I loved what you said about marriage and kids.
I love your shirt!!
Loving the Cov accent! I'm from Rugby and constantly confuse people by my inability to pronounce U and O differently
This is interesting, especially with marriage and kids. I got engaged in February and haven’t booked anything yet because I want to unpack every single stage of the tradition as there a lot that has reasoning we strongly don’t believe in. We don’t have children but we’re hoping to start trying later this year and so marriage is to help us prepare a better life for our future children. Also, to celebrate our life together sort of thing
I love salmon! Like I have a weird obsession with them lol. Their life cycle is beautiful! You swim up stream Leena!
my patronus is a vulture, thats right: a Vulture. I had never felt more hurt by the wizarding world when that diagnosis came though lol
I love the way you articulate your words, and that you think really hard about what you want to say :)
xxx
That was a delightful video!
I was just wondering what your sign was at the beginning of the video! I'm so glad that question was answered. It sounds crazy, but I "vibe" with certain youtubers when watching them. It is usually because our signs are compatible. I'm also a gemini and I love listening to your ramblings.
I think the same thoughts about marriage! It's crazy I've never heard someone else voice them
I'm an atheist who wants to get married. Idk, marriage to me just seems like a union of two people who love eachother and who want to spend the rest of their lives together so they enter a legal pact with consequences to reinforce that. I have known people who never get married to their partners and I get that. I just personally like the idea that I love someone so much I am willing to declare it before the law and my friends and family to prove it. For me it isn't a God thing. It's a social thing. Not to mention, there are cultures around the world with marriage where it has nothing to do with God like in Japan where they are effectively secular.
Elizabeth Gilbert wrote a book called " Committed", and its about the origins of marriage, and it posits that marriage having anything to do with religion is a misconception, thankfully.
Yay! My assumption was answered 😂 also, I KNEW I was right. Thanks Lena for answering it!
Holy shit that author question...how did you put words to that feeling so succinctly??? I feel 100% the same way
You should totally do the video about accents and class!
You should do a video about your birth chart! You’re such gemini but it’d be interesting to know what your moon sign is too
i make everyday life exciting by finding free or cheap cultural events near me and going as much as possible. i live in the biggest capital in latin america so it's very easy to find something to do. i rarely crave buying things, i crave going to concerts, plays and museums. way better places than stores. since you live in a capital as well i think it'd be relatively easy to implement in your life
god i love that top
I love your content so much. Thank you for making this video.
“Easily sucked into cults” 😂 what a thing to have realised about yourself (although better to know than not!)
I assume you have totally fallen in love with Iceland 😉 and therefore I guess you prefer colder travels to beach holidays!
I didn't realise there was another me out there 😂 literally most things you say are in my brain. Even the ear thing. I totally have that too!
hahaha i asked the gryffindor/ravenclaw question thank you for feeding my must-know-what-house-people-are-in disease
'not in an EDL kind of way' made me lol
I would like that on a t-shirt for St. George's Day
There's an Irish myth about the Salmon of Knowledge so maybe you're just super smart.
Video about accents and the politics of class!!!!
I would read your book!
I agree with everything you said about marriage. The only reason I would consider it is because of legal reasons, easier taxes etc
Marriage actually existed before religion - the history of marriage is fascinating and is interesting to read up on :) I would be more objectionable to it for the traditional gender roles associated with marriage which are ancient and go way back to the Mesopotamians and Babylonians. But like everything it evolves with time and changes in society, which is how it got so entangled in religion.
I'm a Hufflepuff and my patronus is a Badger, does that make me a some kind of super Hufflepuff... Hufflepuff Ultra 🤷🏽♀️😂😂
hahah amazing, that's definitely a Hufflepuff Squared!
Akelia Moxam-Black I’m a ravenclaw and mine is a bird!
@@evemhooper amazing! Ravenclaw squared! 😂😂
solidarity in the wild patronuses! I got a mole!
What?? Your favorite color is orange too?! I thought I was the only one 😊. Purple is great too.
Yeah I had this weird thing a few years ago where I realised that I was visualising my wedding in a church, even though I am not religious at all. Just cause of how it is always depicted etc...And now I am not sure how I feel. I definitely want to get married but I'm not sure how I feel about having a wedding. Currently thinking either elope or just have a registery ceremony followed by a party...But yeah, it's weird
Video on accent and class pls
ooooh have you tried ear candles? v soothing and if you have got stuff in your ears they'll draw it out!
Hahha yes I’ve watched my dad do them but he didn’t feel like it helped and I’ve heard mixed reviews?! Have you tried them? I’m scared of setting my head on fire
I defo feel like they help, my ears feel clearer after but it’s not like an insane difference. My mum reckons that if she’s been on a boat they’re the only things that stop her swaying for ages after - something about your ears and balance idk 😂 but yeah I’ve had them done in a salon and then my mum has done them on me which worked well but was a bit of a messy experience bc the flakes of burnt paper bits went everywhere😂
Loooooooved this. Those ear wax videos sound disgusting but utterly fascinating. Cheese over chocolate here too. I might have to do this if I can be brave enough. Lol.
YES, I want to see you do one! x
We’ll welcome you in Ireland 🇮🇪
Show your scars not your wounds! I love that.
Hey Leena! You said you found a contraception that doesn't make you emotionally unstable, would you mind telling me what that is and what your experiences with it are? I'm really struggling with this topic rn as I soon have to choose my method of contraception and I fear that hormones will increase my anxiety disorder. Maybe a topic for a video? Btw I love all of your videos and your ideas are always so insightful. :D
Yes of course ! Obvs everyone is different but I had BAD experience with various pills including dionette and the copper coil too, and have found that the implant has worked really well for me. But I have PCOS so it might be that my body reacts differently to others ! Hope you find something that works for you cus it’s a ball ache xxx
I’m a salmon too! - thank you J.K 😅😥🐟
a really great video :) and about the bit where the assumption was that men are intimidated by you? i kinda understand this, because you do have a BIG personality. ANd it's something that i really like about you now, how energetic you are when you talk, and how freely and directly you give your opinion. But when I first found your channel, 2-3 years ago, I felt that you were TOO direct, and like you were pushing your opinions on me? I 100% don't feel that way now, but I was a lot more shy a few years ago, and I found the thought of someone talking about their thoughts so freely a bit arrogant? Like you assumed you were right all the time, and that was why you talked so openly. I don't think of it like that now, and you're actually someone I'd like to be more like, but maybe that's why other people, men especially, sometimes have this opinion about you. But I'm a girl, so maybe the men's perspective is totally different. Anyway, loved the video, and i really like your shirt :)
sheep_on_a_motorbike aw thank you x
Ok so this was two years ago but if you haven't already you need to go to an ear cleaning specialist, my grandma made me go to one when i was 21yrs old and they go in deep and suck all the ear wax out. It's a bit weird but less invasive than it sounds and it's very worth it, highly recommend!
I believe that the value of marriage is on its legal power for me. For example, to get visas, tax benefits, that kind of things. Some people might think is sad, but i guess i am just pragmatic...
My patronus is a whale. Which basically means that by the time the whole thing is cast, all the fights are over. (I just can't help but think it would take a really long time for a whale patronus to take it's final form).
love
I love the way you think. I wish I were you instead of me
my patronus is a salmon, too!
I struggle with being a non-perfectionist perfectionist too
Fellow hufflepuff Gemini here who’s patronas is also not some super cool mythical magical creature, it’s a mole 👍
My patronus is also a salmon! There are others!!!
As a non-religious person I wonder if the laws are different in the UK regarding rights related to marriage. I will probably marry my boyfriend of 6 years to secure both of us. Some laws in our country only apply to married couples
Yeah its interesting that you can have serious issues with how your country functions systemically/culturally/whatever-y and yet have no desire to live anywhere else :P I feel the same way about Aus
My patronus is a salmon too!!!!
I feel like we need to say "are you planning on having kids" instead of "do you want kids" for so many reasons. (1) not everyone who wants kids gets the choice of having kids (2) some people haven't thought about it and don't have a defined answer (3) having kids is usually an active choice these days and there's no reason to assume most people will end up with some bumpkins. this is said as someone who has literally always wanted and planned on having kids.
Relate hard to the Patronus disappointment. I got a dragonfly. Wtf? Yes they’re cool, but TINY. What are you gonna protect me from when even a mosquito will give you a reasonably tough fight?
8:34 Yes.
You'd love 4 year old me, who asked for "Purple and Orange" for Christmas.
that's adorable
A SALMON I CHOKED
6 hours sleep? I’d like some of that energy please
are you an ISFP? (Myers-Briggs personality type) I feel like you are a wiser, more articulate me :o
Hi! Long time follower who has a lot of thoughts about something you said (not angry thoughts, just picking up on an issue I’ve thought a lot about). So you say “I do think that it’s a little bit weird that people who are atheist detach marriage from religion or copy and paste a lot of the beliefs without unpacking them”.
I agree with some of this but I have some responses, as an atheist who spent her adolescence in the evangelical church.
1) Marriage in some form has been part of many cultures and many religions. This means that what marriage means can be very variable. For example, in multi-god religions, the religion is not nearly as big a part of the marriage as it is in an Abrahamic religion. Marriage can mean very different things in very different cultures, but it has existed in lots of cultures, showing it’s not tied to a specific relationship or worship of a god. I think that thought can pretty easily extend to non-religious cultures or practices without an atheist being weird or lazy etc.
2) I am from Scotland. Scotland is one of the few countries where humanist ceremonies are legally recognised, rather than tacked onto a civil ceremony. Even small legal shifts like that change the framing or understanding of marriage to be not specific to religion.
3) The legalisation if same-sex marriages is something many religious bodies do not agree with or meaningfully recognise and does not fit in with many religious organisations’ understanding of marriages. Yet they happen and are wonderful. That leads me to think that marriage meaningfully exists outside of religion without having to unpack its relationship with religion. It’s related, but in the way that birth and death have religious links, but happen regardless.
As an ex-Christian I totally understand why you would decide marriage isn’t for you. I remember getting that definition of marriage drilled into me as well. But now I’ve left I don’t think atheists are wrong for getting married, even if they don’t think about the links or implications. Marriage is so wide and varied in how it has been practised and understood that I think it’s relationship to religion is more reflective of it’s relationship to culture (which has often historically been tied to religion) than anything else. However, how you do marriage and what traditions you decide to engage with should be thought through and unpacked carefully, regardless of religion.
Sorry for the essay lol, I just spent a lot of time thinking through this stuff, but came to a different conclusion and feel a bit sorry for atheists who just wanna say “I love you for long time” and have a big party around it
The cheese thing. I’m desperately trying to be vegan but cheese.
RonnaaFoogle Then just be vegan in other aspects, but keep eating cheese 🤷🏻♀️ Perfection is overrated. An otherwise vegan diet is gonna make such a difference if we only leave cheese in. 👌
Your tastebuds will change and adapt, and then you won't crave cheese at all, or only on very rare occasions. Also, if you live in London, brands like kinda co. and I'm nut ok do lovely tasting vegan cheeses for when the craving gets too strong :)
I couldn't be vegan without Violife cheeses - available in a lot of supermarkets :)
Leena love your comment about cheese but you have to remember even if you did have your own cow, it would have to have a baby for it to produce the milk for your cheese... And if you’re using the milk for cheese, what’s the little baby cow going to eat? x
JK Rowling did me over with the patronus deal as well... apparently mine is a grass snake. Not even a cool snake.
THE SAFEST OF ALL THE SNAKES AND THEREFORE EVERYONE'sFAVOURITE !
Would love you to explain why you think listening to audiobooks as cheating in another video. x
I said I DIDN'T think it was cheating :) Audiobooks are a totally valid way to read a book, as long as you're listening!
leena norms sorry!! xx
If anything audiobooks are so much harder to go through. I just recently started with audio book. It was so hard. I learned that listening demand much more focus then reading and takes much more time. Reading is so easy for me compared to listening. So l really respect ppl who can listen books. It means they are probably much better listeners in life too. Also there was a time where storytelling was only audio. So 👍 respect!
If your Patronus is a salmon, excellent! Please refer to the Salmon of Knowledge eaten by Fionn mac Cumhaill, and claim your wisdom!
My patronus is a vole. Welcome to the crappie Patronus club hahah
A SALMON!!!!
Big sister vibes? Check.