Dating Others While Living With Your Ex | {THE AND} Lisette & Tommi
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- čas přidán 22. 07. 2024
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As exes who still live together, Tommi (she/her) finds the courage to admit she has begun dating someone else after Lisette (she/her) drops the surprise that she's moving out. While struggling with some unexpected feelings that arise from the news, the exes face up to the realization that they are growing further apart.
We'd like to thank Tommy and Lisette for participating openly and vulnerably in our project. We appreciate what they've shared with us and hope you do as well.
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Created by The Skin Deep | www.theskindeep.com
Creators of {THE AND} | www.theand.us
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Executive Director | Topaz Adizes
Director | Nick D’Agostino
Producer | Mériem Dehbi-Talbot
Associate Producer | Sydney Laws
Cameras | Nick D’Agostino, Jaydin Lopez & Ashika Kuruvilla
Editor | Dane Benko
With the Participation of | Tommi and Lisette
Dating Others While Living With Your Ex | {THE AND} Tommi & LIsette
#TheSkinDeep #BlackLove #LGBTQ - Zábava
damn they both have such nice looking TEETH
Lol. I NOTICED that immediately. Like really beautiful teeth.
Really mature and such poise and understanding between them.
I said the same thing lol
Definitely had me thinking about getting mine whitened.
Yes!!!!
There is an obvious soul tie between them. They need separation in order to heal properly.
That is what I thought too.
@@ramonanaya6236 it’s heartbreaking cause you can clearly see the lady in yellow is still emotionally attached and doesn’t want to let go. And the fact that they live together is making it harder. I personally wouldn’t and couldn’t do it.
Soul ties are REAL.
What is a soul tie. How do you know if you have one with someone?
I agree after I split with my ex I moved away took time to heal from the split was we were so close. It hasn't been easy as both have a deep for love each he is very important to me, he pushes buttons often yet I love him very much, not easy for someone who grew up in the care system in the UK
This was deep and makes me realize my husband and I are FAKE AF........
LMAO
Underrated comment 😂😂😂
Hahaa...😅😅
🤣🤣
😂😂
This is why when I see straight girls talking about "girl I'm over dating men, I wish I were a lesbian" yooooo it's NOT EASY OVER HEEEERE. Trust me. Loving a woman will rip your soul right out 😩
😂😂😂😂it’s worst because women have deeper connections but men just wanna fuck.
Ive been with lots of men. One woman... shes the only one ive ever been IN LOVE with. Omg!
@@Noise_floorxx oh sis... are you ok? Lol
Ughhh all the feels.
Faaaaaaaaacts!! 😂
Go back to LA girl. You will thank yourself later. New air, new surroundings and a better chance of healing.
And dont contact blue shirt she seems selfish
Very selfish and uncaring.
Now you know the air in LA is anything but healthy lol
@@loladior1 😂😂😂
And a bunch of attractive ppl to mess w your head lol
This is why you can't be friends immediately following a breakup, especially if you're the one being left!
100%
Facts
preach
😥
True
Right. I never do it.
The pain in both of their eyes the moment she told her she cares for someone else.
My heart broke for the lady in the yellow.
I felt her pain...I've been there.
@@danacooper6723 yeah I felt that!
Yes heart wrenching
Buy these cards!!!
When she said she deeply cares about someone else you can tell her heart sunk
Straight talk for straight understanding.
I felt it in my own chest🥴
The girl in the yellow has such a blank stare. Its a lot of pain in her eyes.The girl in the blue is moved on with her life and seeing someone. Move to LA ASAP. She is just putting herself through more pain.
Agreed!! But sometimes u just got to sit and feel the pain for your healing to come!!! It’s a pain that tears at your soul
I don’t think so because they are living with each other and I think there’s a pain of what happen in their relationship. Like she said “we’re here because of me” so it’s a difference of perspective and how they feel but love you can’t move on from but you can have another relationship. I think woman in the yellow has a pain filled stare because of how she contributed to the ending and needs to forgive herself
Both of these women are STUNNING.
Absolutely!!
Yup
Staying together after break up can be so toxic.
Been there, hate that. The woman who is considering moving back to LA should go. Quickly. And heal her broken heart. Then she should sit with whether they can be friends. Too many times, women sacrifice their wholeness in pursuit of someone else’s happiness. She kept telling the other “you deserve love” or “you deserve” a great partner while the other woman nodded because she believes she deserves all the good things. And she does. It’s not til the very end that yellow dress said “I do too”. AND SHE DOES. She needs to forgive herself for not being self aware and/or entering into a relationship too prematurely so she can heal this. I hope she watches this and realizes that her ex has moved on. She continues to want the benefit of their closeness/friendship but is clear that she wants to be romantically involved with the new person who “fell from the sky” 🙄. Braids doesn’t need to share that, doesn’t need to cause herself harm by trying to be close and intimate friends when she simply isn’t ready. I wish them both the best. I’ve been in both seats and the seat on the right is torture. CHOOSE YOURSELF.
Thanks for leaving this comment here. It's the clarity I needed. "Choose yourself."
Not you calling her braids 😂😂
Beautiful and well articulated comment.
Exactky
This was great advice. Torture is definitely the right word as well. But, the rolling eye emoji and the description of "braids," had me cackle. Haaa I love how we describe people! Lol Love it! 😄😄
Something tells me a "huge" weight will be lifted if Lisette moves to L.A. And something tells me she won't be alone for long. At. All. AT....ALL.
* books a flight LA during a pandemic hoping to have the same luck *
I would shoot my shot at lisette!!!lol
Whew chile that was intense.
Okay
Seriously I felt the woman in the yellows pain
The looks & long pauses...😳
Omgggg you feel it too. Im having to take deep breaths
I stop breathing... waiting for her ( purple shirt) response .
I don’t know if you ever fully get over a healthy love with and ex. You just gradually accept the reality, that it just didn’t work out. Incorporate it into your story and move on.
When the relationship was healthy, i'm sure they'd still be togehter. Love itself can only be healthy, everything else isn't love
I am close to a few exes. We celebrate each other's happiness. I am also not close to a few exes, and wish them to be far away, like Mars. It all depends on how the relationship and the people in it were.
THIS!!!💯
Victor Blake is cute
I love how the woman on the right is so... see through. She doesn’t hide anything. She’s pure honest and vulnerable, but so strong at the same time in her calmness
Yessss this comment !!
This was very intense to watch honestly
I almost was not able to breathe sometimes.
Right
This is way too soon. They have a lot of healing to do before they introduce friendship into the equation.
Claim it or let it go. Being in between is painful. I wish them the best.
Right. I honestly would’ve deemed this torture and left. I feel horrible for exes who are caught in these situations.
I could do better things like minding my own business but here I'm....
😂😂😂😂 Righttttt
🤣🤣😭😭 guilty
Me🤣🤣😭😭
You know what 😭😆🤦
And now I’m pissed smh
The woman with the short hair is insanely beautiful. They are both beautiful but damn 🔥🔥🔥
I sweeear omg 😍😍
Yeah as a straight woman I could see why it may be hard for a curious woman to pass her up lol.
Idk a lil but her eyebrows throwing me off just a lil🤷🏾♀️
She looks even better in person
She has a strong masculine energy, she’s like handsome in my opinion.
Girl in the blue has healing vibes and moved on vibes. Love her energy
I have loved a woman and it’s the deepest thing I have ever felt. I ache for her still and we have not spoken in almost a year. I could not imagine watching her love another-it’s a no for me.
I know exactly how you feel. It's been seven years for me and it still feels like the first day I knew I loved her.
Adding my name and heart to this list. Currently working with my ex, the only woman I’ve ever been with. And it’s horrible.
@@daisydulo1082 LOh no, don´t say that. I am waiting for this togo away (1 1/2 years later).
@@moniqueuu8777 just hope you'll love the next even more.
sometimes you have to let go😭
I couldn't do it with any of my exes. Once I'm in, I'm 100% fully committed and once I'm done its a wrap. Out of respect for myself and my exes as well as their respective partners I let them go so they could love on the one that is meant for them. Both parties need time to heal away from the other. Distance makes the heart grow fonder they say and I believe distance allows soul ties to be unwoven and the heart to heal and mend itself.
THANK YOU FOR THIS.
Yes 100% living with ex is toxic
I did it and it doesn’t work I can’t ever
That’s a fact time heals wounds
YES
When she was able to say directly to her " I figured that, THAT'S WHY my energy was off." I started crying..... It sucks being the one who has to "take the hint." Smh her tears were real af, I felt that deeply.
I felt it as well... it hurt her 💔 that she knew she lost her .
you started crying🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The eye contact WOW !! Never seen something that intense. EVER.
never ever?🤣🤣🤣🤣
I dont want this ever
I couldn't do this. Not with the woman, I've been with for 8 years. Most stable, most reciprocal, most significant relationship of my life. It would be like having my heart ripped out of my chest a million times.
I don’t know how they do it. This is torture
damn i feel immature , I wouldn’t even want my ex as my neighbor 😅😬 #stayfaraway
I wouldn't haha he would probably be bothering me telling me how sorry he was for all the dumb shit lol
😩💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣💯
Lol!😂😂
Hahahaha feel you boo
Real talk
💔Wow, seeing this after a break up hits home and makes me realise that wanting to have a friendship with my ex at this time is probably very unrealistic. I could see the pain all over face when her ex mentioned she was talking to someone else and her energy had changed...I think she should move out to heal and grow and maybe they could have a friendship in the future.
Thank you for sharing ❤️
I agree I tried the friends with an ex thing and it doesnt work idc how healthy your relationship is or was especially if there was genuine love between the two its hard to watch them find love with some one else just the same in reverse even if theres no plans of reconciliation there will always be a part within that loves them
It is definitely hard to have a relationship with your ex , during this COVID me and my wife divorced because of my mistakes and she looked to God because she had no one to talk to about us. Even tho we live in different states, We are trying to be friends but it's hard because we still have love for each other .
I just want my ex with me now😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
no no move on lol
Damn the hurt in her eyes when she said she care for someone else deeply damn
They both have beautiful smiles!
The moments of silence made me so anxious
This is so triggering for me. @TheSkinDeep, where do I send my invoice for therapy?
Because this right here...whew.
Same!
Awwwww hugs
Clearly still loves her. She needs to leave. I doubt if they’ll be friends if and when she does.
Not ignoring at all the magic going one here but... their stunningly white teeth and those smiles, oh God.
Blue shirt really had to say idk, it’s clear she loves her but she can’t be insulted again. She can’t be with someone who’s still figuring out
Living together for the woman in yellow though is a burden and barrier because she clearly hasn’t gotten over with what they had for each other, which isn’t bad, but she’s never going to truly heal if they are still living together.
Whyyyy...do several individuals try to force a friendship after a relationship? These two individuals do not need to be friends right now. You can't grow as an individual if you stay in the same situation but expect a different outcome.
They need to stop trying to cushion their hurts from their past relationship. Go your separate ways and grow individually.
Give time to built a genuine friendship later after growing and have more experiences in their own lives from each other.
SO... TENSE???? How does it look like they are both hiding something the entire interview??? so much pain?
This is so unbarable. Friends with exes is so hard and can be very unhealthy. They both deserve to move on, part ways, be happy with someone else that will really make you happy. ❤️🙏🏼
The person who starts dating first should pack and go.
It’s so hard to walk away when you genuinely like and respect someone. They need real space. It’s the only way for them to grow into that next level of friends where they can move on or for them to realize they do want to figure it out and to be together.
Does anyone else want to know why they broke up? 👀👀👀
Braids was constantly unsure of how she felt being in a relationship, especially it being her first relationship with a woman. Is what I got out of it. Bc she clearly still likes her, but is the one who called it off bc of "clarity" issues
🙌🏾
Not really.
Right?! I got a few cards I want to read to them lmao I have a few questions cause my heart is broken
Braids needs space and distance to heal her heart.
The smiles on these two - like the sun 🤭
This felt sacred to watch. I felt like I was intruding. Wow. My heart and my thanks goes out to these women
Geesh... this seems like a matter of two deeply connected friends who tried to go from platonic to romantic and one just wasnt sure what she wanted in a life partner but wanted to explore. before getting into romantic realtionships make sure you are self aware, bcs in the long run you’ll end up in deep feels on SKIN DEEP and have me writing an opinion abt your championship or lack thereof. Try to refrain from getting into relations to pass the time, knowing deep down it wont work.
Right.... and I enough judgment in my life 🤣
That was one of the best, most intense and honest portrayals of a relationship post-romance. My heart is heavy for these two.
thank you so so much
The deepest love I’ve ever experienced was with a woman and I almost ended up like the girl with the braids. Praying everything continues to unfold in a healthy and prosperous way. Clear communication is everything. I’m smitten.
I enjoyed listening to this discussion. It felt raw and real. They genuinely seem like two nice people who just respect each other no matter what....I like watching how this seems to guide their discussion.
Thank you for watching :)
The teeth that woman has on the left...perfection. Both of them are absolutely beautiful.
F-ing hell that was intense, honest, and such a privilege to watch. Thank you ladies for sharing because I was able to learn from how calm and yet deeply emotional y’all’s conversation was. May you both find the love you deserve! 💗
I can physically feel the pain from this JEEEEZZ WHAT THE HECK 💔💔
I love how intense this is and how they are slightly unreadable.
I love the raw honesty behind their conversation. Even when some topics weren't so easy to discuss, they powered through with honesty. This is such a beautiful thing!
I can't help but ask myself "where did you two lost each other down the road" because you just look like you're meant for one another. You both have million of little things built up like the calmness on the surface when both are almost boiling inside.. it feels like you're here to say your goodbye when none of you really want to, and it hurts till where I live, in Italy.. you're gonna find each other back cuz love does that, sometimes it takes a long turn and goes back to where it starts..
Amen to that. I feel that they really deeply care for each other
It's seem like they needed to loose each other to find each other again.
seems like she said she entered the relationship before she was ready because she didn't want to miss the opportunity and probably lost herself in the process and her partner felt the uncertainty. she also probably thought because she ended things she would either a. move on first b. have the option to reconcile.
@@CODrama42 that's what I picked up on too
This sounds like pure dee torture and like 2 ppl still deeply in love with one another.
Nope. Went through a similar thing last year where I had the option of living with an ex or moving back to my hometown. I moved back. I could’ve been in quarantine with her. Hell nah.
“Hell nah.” Took me out😂😭🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂damn, she is that bad.
Lmao!🤣🤣🤣
Kudos for them! I believe I am not at their maturity level to keep my past exes around while they date a new person. It would really be difficult to endure.
I can see the anxiety and pain in “yellow’s” face; my heart aches for her. “Blue” seems like she’s moved on and just wants “Yellow” to be okay so she can be okay, and that makes me cringe. Even if it’s your own fault, it sucks being the only one hanging on and the only one hurting.
The woman in the yellow face is telling a story. The woman in the blue trying to play it off because she seen it before.
She’s a heartbreaker 😩 it’s written all over her face
Spot on
id love to see The And with people who are 100% open with the camera and could give a backstory beforehand... or fill in the blanks for us viewers who know nothing about them. i know people love their privacy but im sure theres at least a few people who would!
This is me and my partner, living together while not in a relationship. The woman in yellow is so relatable, when she said she didn’t want to miss out I understood her. Wouldn’t change the experience of loving, definitely a learning chapter on my journey
Been there. The ambiguity is self beneficial. You get to avoid commitment while having someone that loves you. Absolute ideal set up for you, but do you really love your partner if you’re willing to keep them in limbo knowing they’d be happiest in a different set up? 🤷🏽♀️
I am not dating anyone who is still "close friend " with their ex let alone living with them ✌🏃♀️
Wow, these were two grounded, mature, honest strong women. I love how real they each felt during this conversation. And both their smiles dazzling! 😁
I hope my sis in yellow eventually left that home. Both of them say the right things, but there was no honesty. There is no harm in admitting that being friends with someone you love dearly hurts you despite wanting the best for them
This was theeee looooongest heaviiiiiiiest 16 minutes of 👏🏽 my 👏🏽 liiiiiife 👏🏽. 😳. SHEESH. Two of the most beautiful people I’ve encountered thus far on my journey. I wish them both deep love, clarity and light as they move forward ✨
I just want to hug the one in the yellow. She’s clearly very much still in love which is more than okay. It’s good that they are able to talk it out and i hope they take the time to heal and rekindle that flame if that’s what they both want. They’re clearly soul ties. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ They’re both so beautiful.
Tommi is one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever seen.
Two very eloquent beautiful women.
One thing lesbians are gonna do is live with their ex after a breakup.
Lol
cmon preach
This broke my heart 💔This is what happens when you have a new lesbian and an established lesbian. They are both in different places. One is growing into her sexuality and the other is comfortable in her skin. It can be challenging and it takes patience. I would advise for the lady with the braids to try and move on. Friendship may come later. 😔
Man, this hits different when it’s so relatable to your current circumstances and reality.
I appreciate them coming on this platform and sharing.
I give them props, such a difficult conversation navigated beautifully and honestly xx
Me at 22
“ so this is what adult relationship looks like ?” 👀
This one is deep and emotional. I had to pause this one a few times AND rewind a few times. They are beautiful humans on so many levels. Very good episode.
It’s hard to understand why they deny how deep they feel about each other.
Girl with yellow shirt doesn't fully accept herself as being gay. She loves everything about the other one but the fact she isn't a man.
Glad I watched this one. So many things hit home and helped me process feelings with my own ex of 9 years who I've remained friends with. Especially when they spoke about handling the other person dating. You know in your heart they arent for you but it still bothers when they start loving on someone else.
Listen, honesty is such a huge turn on to me. Imagine being able to give and receive brutal honest feelings.
What I love about this series is that the cameras in this setting seem to give the couples courage that they wouldn't have had under one-on-one private circumstances. This set up allows them to ask the questions they need. Answers to tough questions help you get closure = heal.
The eye contact between these two is glorious. I find it so respectful. And those smiles....beautiful humans.
I live with my ex (male/female relationship) and it has actually been really beneficial in establishing that we will never go down that relationship path again and that we are moving on with our independent lives and being supportive of each other in doing so.
Powerful, so pure, so honest, so mature and healthy. I feel pain but I also feel the love wow! I hope I can grow to that maturity. God bless you guys and thank you for sharing/teaching I felt something different in my heart🙏🏾🇨🇦
Hunni, it's time to sell the house. Do a 50/50 split and move forward. Realize it's good to have loved than not. This is a wonderful closure that many of us don't get to experience in a mature fashion. Time heals. Peace and Love to the both. You both deserve it.
that was such a beautiful conversation. i’d love to work for The Skin Deep man😭
Ok first of all their teeth are perfect. Now that that’s out the way it seems like they broke up because the woman with the braids was probably confused on her sexuality and kept going back and forth
Having peace/no regrets about the ending of a relationship is very freeing. You learn what you need to learn and just move on. More beautiful "just for you" experiences await.
Whoa that was super intense! It is tough dating someone when you are not really sure if you are what the other person wants. It brings doubt and begins to cause tension and possibly insecurity with your partner.
That was very very intense! You could slice the tension 😨
That deep sigh and uncomfortable silence when she was trying to answer if shes date her again. That was thick
Short hair knows what she is doing... she likes the fact that braids is hurting for her
Yes, u can see it in her eyes. She has manipulative (masculine)toxic energy. Wrapped in fake care.
I actually don’t think you’re wrong, but I think that’s because braids was the cause of the breakup, so maybe short hair has overcome the feeling braids is currently basking in
@@CeeShelli I agree... braids should leave that home as soon as possible.
I love how y’all r having a Convo by the hair type lol it’s giving me life HaHa!!!!
Not yall calling these women by their hairstyles 😂😂😂
In all the years Ive watched these....omg THIS WAS INTENSE. I KEEP BREATHING DEEP
Such beautiful ladies. This was so real and raw. Been there before lesbians always want to hold onto the friendship but you definitely have to move out and move on.
Such emotional sophistication. Wow. Powerful content.
My heart is hurting for them both esp the way Lisettes eye fluctuate between looking alive and looking kind of absent 😫
These two are soooo beautiful! Their smiles are radiating!
this resonates with me so much, especially everything the girl in yellow is exuding and saying (i forget her name but i’ll edit later 🥺). i’m personally going through my first significant breakup with someone who was also my bestest friend and i would even consider a platonic soulmate? and the whole process is just AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, to keep it short. i hope and pray she heals. this conversation was so necessary and intimate and i’m grateful to get a glimpse of it :,) thank you x1000 🥺🤝
Ms.Lisette it’s time to move out. It’s all in your face. Praying for your journey 💕
True raw emotion on display….one of the best I’ve viewed.
These videos are incredible and I always learn something about my own relationships and conversations I have myself.
I think it was a difficult conversation they would’ve never had, but got through it learning more about each other’s feelings and thoughts!! Beautiful women but they need space.