Poundland Special: Vampire Llama Shrek Butt | Ashens
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- čas přidán 7. 09. 2024
- We're back back BACK to the land of pounds pounds POUNDS! What joys have Poundland been putting on their shelves recently?
Well... There's weird slightly wooden figures, bum lollies, Shrek's sports car, awful signs, a horrible mug and a terrifying amount of comedy poo!
#Poundland #Tat #Ashens
Only Ashens can utter the phrase "I'm going to have to take a bite out of this arse to see if it's cola flavoured"
"thank you for this opportunity to kiss your cola-flavoured arse" - stuart ashen, 2019
when you crack out the flavoured lube
He didn't, however, spank it. A real shame.
in modern English: 'I eat ass'
Didn't that one dj say the same at burning man???
Vampire-llama-shrek butt sounds like a very bizarre version of rock-paper-scissors.
i'm guessing it goes shrek butt>vampire>llama>shrek butt
"Get out of my swamp whilst I drive my car, brethren" - Shrek
Dessa 💀
*Shrunk
Shrenk*
BREK
"Give it your some" is actually decent advice for people who too often give it their none.
Baby steps
How 'bout a nun?
I gave it my all, but I don't have any.
@Samson Themighty well then you still are doing your best. Give yourself a break 🐱
I'm going to steal this line. So appropriate for my co-workers
Whenever I read the word "Poundland" in the title of an Ashens video, my brain gets instant gratification, like one of Pavlov's dogs.
Probably sexual gratification you deviant?
Robert Sanders yeah, I too get a rock hard boner when I read poundland.
“Cheapo”
I have been waiting for a Poundland vid from BigClive I am guessing it would be vastly different =)
Unfortunately he doesn't do popstation "reviews" anymore
A few years ago my mum bought a box of baubles from poundland that said "bah humubg" on them.
We still have a laugh every year when we hang them on the tree :)
This made me laugh much harder than I expected it to. Thank you so much :')
BAH HOOMOOBOOG................
Grinch flavored hummus lol
“Quite a prominent sad onion there”
When anyone talks about me
Don't cry toots 😢😉
Same
Its okay,
I want to dunk my soldier into you.
Ashens will take you to "Pound Land" on the third date.
as long as he doesn't dip his soldier in me
@@KasranFox I would much prefer if he did
@@KasranFox And give you the some.
I understand that a pound is currency - but does it not also have other meanings in the UK like it does in the USA, (either to beat someone, or aggressively hump them?). I mean there is literally an expression "Im going to take you down to pound town" when you are about to beat someone up.
So Pound-World, and Pound-Land both just sound like illicit places to me, either for fighting or f**king, poor names, at least in the USA.
@GamerGiraffic he knows, he means that to is americans it sounds either nsfw or a fight club
“It’s gone rock hard over time.”
So...does that make it a hardass? >_>
.....I’ll let myself out.
Kelly that is good though I chuckled
That made me laugh way harder than it probably should've.
Aren't you a smartass
your 100th like
"Colour and contents may vary".... So it's just like real poo then.
You forgot the word "specifications"
TheHappyKamper
I got gifted one and accidentally broke it open, it’s just white sand with a bit of grey mixed in.
Didn't think I'd ever read the phrase "Vampire Llama Shrek Butt", but here we are I guess
Certainly got me to click on it
It's my new band name. 😁
It sounds kinda like a title you would expect to find on one of those weird children's channels that set off all of the red flags.
sounds like a really cheap porno...
"It's Cola flavoured"
*Laughs in Mexican*
"Cola" in spanish is Tail, we sometimes also use it for "Butt" hahaha -and also Queue, but that's irrelevant right now.
What an amazingly fitting username
Confirmo lo que dice mi amigo.
Bum flavored cola ftw
I laughed when I saw that on the package.
Correct
White goop from a unicorn... I'm pretty sure that's not "poo" ;)
Cum
@@IcheeCOTC oh i thought it was titty milk.
teacup ichee demongod
Thanks for explaining the joke you jackass
"I've lost my cat, Mittens." is a different sentence than what I heard: "I've lost my cat mittens", which could either be mittens with a cat print on them, or mittens for your cat.
Or the name of the cat could be named Mittens.
@@reichtangle7734 or he could be telling his mittens that he lost his cat
or the mittens are cat
Kitten mittens need to be a thing.
Just want to point out that the German translation for "pen" as shown on the pen packaging actually translates to "writing mashine".
That's incredible
Cutlery is food weapons
Of course it does. Never change German, never change.
i love german's literal translations... i'll never forget the time i once translated a german phrase to english in google translate and it came back as 'i'm going to suck dust'... safe to say i was very confused, until i realised it was meaning, 'im going to hoover' :'D couldn't stop laughing!
@@bestgrimbarianever Try that in french. It will do something funny for sure. You can't use google translate for french either for german.
“Get out of my swamp, whilst I drive my car, brethren!” - Shrek’s most famous line
glad to see Poundland still going strong, glory to the kingdom, lads.
Zoe spotted lol
@@JackTheDeergal furry spotted
Wish I could hang that “Less drama, more llama” sign in my Minecraft house
So happy to see that's a recent comment.
We all want that Dio
Make a texture pack with that as one of the paintings
I think Stuart should make either a documentary or film called "Poundlander" based around how only one pound shop survived
It's A Kind Of Tragic.
There can be only one
"Lost cat, Mittens...and then never think of it again until you throw the note away after finding it 5 years later" This whole line was oddly specific.
I heard it as "lost cat mittens" without the comma. Poor cat's feet are getting cold.
The ranks may be thinned, but the soldiers left are true veterans
hail, brother.
👍
Wait, what. Did I miss something?
@@hexyko4850 did I miss something?
What?
"Two people in poundland" sounds like an interesting movie.
Bum on a stick (It's demonetization flavoured)
Clearly poundland has taken the phrase "It's 2019 grandpa we eat ass now" much too literally.
I actually collect those shop logo trucks. My life has hit an all-time low.
thumbs up man
Hell yeah
i like too having a vehicle on my shelf
They're so cool!
Keep on, you're gonna have a wall of advertisement toy trucks, I'm sure
“Today I’m going be to be as useful as the n in magificent”
"Today I'm gonna be as useful as the s and island"
You missed an opportunity to call that Bart character Shart Sempson or something like that...
Genius! 👌
Fart Simpson would have worked perfectly 😅
Good humour really did miss you lot.
Bort Sompsin
Shart Shitson
Oh God, I remember when 99p store and Poundland had the 'Penny off' dunno if it was nationwide but in Torquay they legit kept going 1p cheaper than the other til it got to 90p 😂😂😂
"I'm gonna have to take a bite out of this ass to see if it really is cola flavored" I did not expect that when I clicked onto this video.
Did you not see the thumbnail?
Yeah, just give it the bum's rush!
'I laughed. I cried. It became a part of me.'-The Couch
I know it's the currency, but shrek's butt in pound land is something I never wish to imagine...
Username checks out
@@kevinm5940 Horror would be more accurate, I think.
That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.....
“You’re supposed to lick it and not chew it?”
I feel sorry for your girlfriend
oooo......k?
He has a boyfriend
Gay Stuart (Ashens)
Mastergrey Skull what?
@@mastergreyskull523 I mean, even if that were true the comment you replied to would still apply
Sentences you could not predict to hear once in our life:
"I have to take a bite out of this ass, to see if it is cola flavoured."
Sounds like a cannibal's excuse...
I'm gonna be that guy, it's arse not ass. Ass just means donkey to our friends over the pond. Sorry if I came across as a donkeyhole
*arse
That "farting fire Shrek" looks like a sprite from a game on Game Boy - Shrek: Fairy Tale Freakdown.
The Shrek car is a must have gift for any modern child 😃
i can only imagine ashens buying all this crap
cashier: ummm any kids?
ashens: no thankfully
cashier: ok...uhhh-
ashens: don't ask
sadly he uses the auto ones so only the computer judges him
I'm pretty sure the whole staff of poundland knows him by now
It's not really that hard to imagine. He walks in buy some random stuff and tell the cashier that he does youtube videos.
Ge gives the cashier the same shpeel from ashens and the polybius heist: "I am a collect of of increadably rare and useless items"
@@sirmugman I wish I bloody had those things in the poundland nearest to me, I buy loads of random old crap or weird combinations of things, and I always wonder what they're thinking. Then it hits me, the people that work in the poundland near me are so jaded at this point, my purchases are probably fairly normal.
Poundland. Providing the best ass lollies since 1990.
kazan fax!
Let’s rephrase this.
Happy soon to be 30th anniversary.
@@supersaiyancommenter no.
Be thankful they're not providing loli asses.
that white gooey stuff really in no way resembles poo...
"hey kids! how would you like to play with this white goop that came out of a unicorn?!"
Anyone else notice the end of the stretchy poo thing looked rather... phallic?
Glide Heart yes
Glide Heart harvested in the congo
Oh my god, that lollipop is genius, the world “cola” means ass in Spanish, so it’s “ass flavor” as well!
Suddenly it isn't that weird of a concept to me anymore. Still weird, but makes a lot more sense
thought it was culo
@@bt6g718 Cola is more tame, it can mean butt, bum, tail, derriere, whatever lol, culo is seen as a bad word at least in México, it's used as an insult (like you are an asshole but it means coward) or a vulgar way to say butt
@@gorgeluis in spain we do not say cola but culo, the word cola is used in latin america only
Evening Ashens? Definitely, even if you have been reduced to just the one shop.
I died when he said it's been a long time coming for Shrek...Shrek my man it's time to die
Nice hair
@@Maesterful The thirst is real.
Maesterful creep
@@BaByyFaceDBaBByyBoooy666 Prat
@@Maesterful thanks!
Poundland: casually sells items for a quid
Other pound shops: start selling items for a quid
Poundland (as a blood-sucking, wooly ogre): *WHAT are you doing IN MY SWAMP?!!*
Poundworld was actually founded 20 years earlier. PoundLAND however seemed to attract more attention.
Oxford Street in London had Mr Pound (catchphrase "Have a look round, it's Mr Pound"). Now that was REAL tat!
@@kaaiuta That makes sense! The one near me was quite recent. Was a nicer shop itself
@@ericpode6095 We used to have 'Value World' that evolved into a 99p store, and now another Poundland. That shop will always be some sort of tat establishment!
@@kaaiuta The thing about Poundland though is that the stuff they sell is of a better quality than what the others were selling. In particular their technology products. Poundworld was subject to a number of recalls of dangerous items such as usb power banks and phone chargers, whereas the equivalent products from Poundland are actually very decent quality (Just ask Big Clive)
Get Out Of My Swamp, And Into My Carrrrr
I'm sorry. "make your own poo kits are doing the rounds." isn't that just a sandwich or somthing. Hahaha
Literally any food lol
Very true
Clever girl
Maybe it'll lead us to cursed Aztec gold.
ikr? all the grocery stores are just full of them these days. >.>
Ah yes, good ol' Burt Samson, from the tv show, The Samson's.
"I'm going to put that over to one side very carefully so it doesn't leak all over the sofa."
*carelessly lobs the Llama Poo*
“Eat glitter for breakfast so you don’t have to buy this unicorn poo for a pound “
Best idea ever 🤗😂
"Cola" is Mexican Spanish slang for ass. So, I think making it cola-flavored was intentional.
Its culo not cola
I’m pretty sure it was a poop joke. They’re not that clever
Lol cola
@@buba4267 Cola means tail in spanish, wich is also used for butt in some cases and it's hilarious lol
so all my life ive been drinking ass? great!
Bort Sampson: Consume My Undergarments, Fellow.
"Kids, if you're at the zoo
Don't go and find some llama poo."
- Stuart Ashens, 2019
"Jeff have you been turning the llamas into genetic abominations"
-The zoo
lmao he said this exactly while i was reading this comment
"I'm Doctor Cheeks. I'm doing my rounds, and I'm a little behind."
Is that a genuine Dreamworks product that Shrek car?! Hahahaha Holy crap. Crying.
Recently I went to a local dollar store and saw an announcement saying "the product UNICORN POOP has been deemed unsafe and will no longer be sold"
When I was a kid I had a Safeway truck and I was quite fond of it for some reason.
It was a Fujifilm blimp for me.
I don't know why, but the way you said 'Shrek shitting his guts out' had me in stitches!
Ashens calls the Shrek car plastic even though on the front of the packaging in big letters it says it's metal.
rekt
"Specifications, colours and contents may vary"
just like with real poo!
_Shrek!_ _Shrek, I tell you!_
That and the explosive diarrhea sticker caused a degenerative laughter cascade and I was unable to continue.
My mother had gotten some antique glitter from her great-grandmother that was nothing but glass shavings.
Make of that what you will.
"Eeh, we didn't bother with health and safety in them days. If you swallowed some glitter and died an agonising death, it taught you to think on, and be more careful next time"
Sounds tasty
Stuart Ashen - keeping pound stores in business since time began
Him and @bigclivedotcom
"I'll put it right over the windscreen, so he'll crash and die" this is comedic genius
Hey ashens, I have been watching you for years. Keep doing what you are doing because they are really fun to watch
That Bum lolly lol. Having flashback to when I was probed by the greys.
I'm getting a mod for Euro Truck Sim 2 that lets me drive a Poundland branded truck.
Are you going to haul holy hand grenades?
Someone's got to tell Limmy about this
I love how, since 2006, you still make videos on the couch lol.
13 years, and I still watch these lovely videos.
Poundland: Proud sponsor of Ashens' trash can.
That is the nicest stretchy poo I’ve ever seen. They’re usually destroyed😂
We are building a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude.
We forge our spirits in the tradition of our ancestors.
You have our gratitude.
“Throw it away when you find it five years later” wait, the cat or the piece of paper with mittens on it?
Yes.
I’ve seen my fair share of llama poop on my life, and it most certainly does not look like that.
They poop pellets, if you were curious
Stormy Bunny I don’t think it’s POO at all...
Rabbits make pellets, too. Their digestion is so bad, they eat it again...🤮
"I think we should end on something I think is truly wonderful" but we're already watching you, Stuart.
Cola beside being a flavor its an euphemism for butt in almost all speaking Spanish speaking cultures
I was just going to say that! It’s from the same Latin word as “cul” in French.
@@5roundsrapid263 that's more like culo
Ignacio Romero Yes, the masculine noun.
Poundland trying to singlehandedly start a scat fetish revolution!
'its other characters from kun fu panda' man, that fourth kung fu panda movie where he fights aliens really jumped the shark
It's been so long, I missed these.
I visited a poundland in Elephant and Whitecastle like a tourist destination last year because of these
"I'm going to have to take a bite out of this arse to see if it really is cola flavored."
Ashens, 2019
Had a 5 month expired Diet Coke today, would’ve thought it was a la croix if I didn’t see the coke logo. Faint hint of carbonation and no actual flavor
A Shrek car, or shar.
Also the one car you couldn't place is the alien from home
I think the "specifications, contents and colour may vary" is about poo in general lol
B&M Bargains and The Works also have a lot of Poundland-worthy tat
The Works in particular has a MASSIVE range of poo and unicorn related tat. I can remember the time when they were a proper bookshop
@@countzero1136 they still are but the book section has been reduced
A unicorn with wings is called an alicorn.
Bart Sempson. He's an original character like Ricky Rouse or Monald Muck.
Or indeed his Cousin with Tourettes.......Ronald F**k!!
Bags Banny and Doffy Dock are also some good characters, along with Parky Pag, Olmer, the Tuzmonian Angel, Yellowstone Pam, Twooty, Sole-vester and Spadey.
Personally though, I like Jack E. Jackal and the Raidrunner.
Cherry Bobbins
I love how you talk about the safety lion like he's an influenser
Is that last word meant to be influenza or influencer?
You're supposed to just kiss the bum. It says so on the package!
Lol "mum can I have a poo, no!! It's horrible"
Looking at the bottom end of that poo, I think it's a dual-use product design.
Pete Brown that was probably the initial product but then someone said “turn it around, stick some eyes on it and call it a poo instead”.
This made me sad...
"Bum on a stick"
I'm surprised I didn't see this in a moral panic story in the Daily Express.
Words I didn't expect Ashens to say. It's a cola flavoured bum.
I work in Smyths (for those that know, Smyths is a major toy store in the UK & Ireland) and anything poo related is very popular. One time I nearly got my eye taken out by a kid that launched the stretchy poo across the store. Oh, and not only is there unicorn and llama poo, but theres also the flamingo and dinosaur variety! How lovely!
I hate to admit how many I sell on the daily basis but its absurd, almost as absurd as the whole concept of poo toys.
When ever I hear the word poundland my heart goes faster than the speed of sound with all the tat that I will see😂😂😂😂
Im afraid you need to see a doctor
Those wooden dolls r kinda cool. Reminds me of stuff my uncle used to bring back from treken around Africa.
"Gee Stuart, what are we going to do today?"
5:06
i cannot convey in words how much i need that sharting shrek sticker
Yes! I love pound land specials! Also, I'm going as your couch for holloween.
Love how they just give shrek a random ass cheap hotwheels instead of the carriages they actually ride in the film
Why would he need his own car in a swamp?
Two People in Poundland can be taken very differently Ashen be very careful.
That's pound town
Does anyone else love the way Ashens says "bum"?
Poundland won the Pound Store Wars, and then put their prices up...
Probably because they were losing money
But at least their quality is consistent, unlike Ikea who hiked their prices by over 50% in some cases but whose quality has gone right down the toilet
"Well I'm going to have to take a bite out of this ass to really see if it's cola flavored"
Best quote ever