Trump Unveils a Missile Defense Plan, New Hampshire Holds First Presidential Primary | Tonight Show
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- čas přidán 20. 08. 2024
- Jimmy addresses the latest news, like New Hampshire holding the first presidential primary of 2024, Trump introducing a missile defense system and Apple rolling out a new security update.
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Trump Unveils a Missile Defense Plan, New Hampshire Holds First Presidential Primary | Tonight Show
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#FallonTonight
#JimmyFallon - Komedie
Out of jail on bail. If your cousin was rolling up your driveway with a rape conviction and 91 felony charges in four different courts you would lock your doors, shut off your lights and hide your women and girls.
🤔 *Damn good point.*
#TrumpFacts 🤡
*3 Wives* & _Multiple Porn Stars_
Trump University *Fraudulent & Shutdown.*
Trump Foundation *Fraudulent & Shutdown.*
*Personal Lawyer* FELON.
*Campaign Manager* FELON.
*Campaign Co-Manager* FELON.
*Campaign Strategist* Convicted!
*Trump INC C.o.o **_is currently in FUQ'N PRISON._*
But let's make Donald Trump the -president again- DickTater forever. 🇺🇸🙃
#FeloniousCult45GQP 🤡
🤔 Damn good point. More Trump Facts: 🤡
*3 Wives* & _Multiple Porn Stars_
Trump University *Fraudulent & Shutdown.*
Trump Foundation *Fraudulent & Shutdown.*
*Personal Lawyer* FELON.
*Campaign Manager* FELON.
*Campaign Co-Manager* FELON.
*Campaign Strategist* Convicted!
*Trump INC C.o.o **_is currently in FUQ'N PRISON._*
But let's make Donald Trump the -president again- DickTater forever. 🇺🇸🙃
#FeloniousCult45GQP 🤡
Damn good point. More Trump Facts:
*3 Wives* & _Multiple Porn Stars_
Trump University *Fraudulent & Shutdown.*
Trump Foundation *Fraudulent & Shutdown.*
*Personal Lawyer* FELON.
*Campaign Manager* FELON.
*Campaign Co-Manager* FELON.
*Campaign Strategist* Convicted!
*Trump INC C.o.o **_is currently in FUQ'N PRISON._*
But let's make Donald Trump the -president again- DickTaterToT forever. 🇺🇸🙃
#FeloniousCult45GQP 🤡
Damn good point. More Trump Facts:
*3 Wives* & _Multiple Porn Stars_
Trump University *Fraudulent & Shutdown.*
Trump Foundation *Fraudulent & Shutdown.*
*Personal Lawyer* FELON.
*Campaign Manager* FELON.
*Campaign Co-Manager* FELON.
*Campaign Strategist* Convicted!
*Trump INC C.o.o **_is currently in FUQ'N PRISON._** But let's make Donald Trump the **-president again-** DickTaterToT forever.*
#Felonious45 🤡
Damn good point. More Trump Facts:
*3 Wives* & _Multiple Porn Stars_
Trump University *Fraudulent & Shutdown.*
Trump Foundation *Fraudulent & Shutdown.*
*Personal Lawyer* FELON.
*Campaign Manager* FELON.
*Campaign Co-Manager* FELON.
*Campaign Strategist* Convicted!
*Trump INC C.o.o **_is currently in FUQ'N PRISON._** But let's make Donald Trump the **-president again-** DickTaterToT forever.*
Felonious45 🤡
Jimmy & Tarique are EXCELLENT together.
V🎉🎉🎉😅😅😅
"Get out of the tanning bed" 😂
Haley should take up sharpie's challenge and raise it to an actual IQ test.
That endorsement bit was funny as hell!😂
I set my notification ring tone as a trump clip with his bing bing bong phrase. Everyone laughs and say what is that. I say "its yo favorite president" and then it gets quiet. I'm from Oklahoma lol
Right!😂😂😂😅😅
As someone who doesn’t live in the USA, does any of this mean that trump has any chance of actually being elected as president again….seriously are things kinda crazy?
You have to ask?!😮
There are a lot of dumb, hateful, and willfully ignorant people here unfortunately. They like that Trump is as dumb as they are
Is the sky blue?? He's more popular than ever !! Don't try to understand it it makes no sense it's actually quite terrifying at the number of complete morons that believe whatever comes out of there great orange gods mouth!
There is a slight outside chance. IF he does not get convicted of any of the many felonies he is currently charged with. & if he keeps feeding the kool-aid to his supporters & they don't wake up before election day & realize they've been conned.
There's a process in place that leads to any party nominating a candidate to challenge other nominees from other parties for the office of POTUS. Then there's the issue of whether or not he/she can get on the ballot in every state. If not then can they theoretically win enough popular/electoral votes to win?
In a nutshell, is there a chance? Yes.
Is it likely? No.
The Tariq bits are always great.
The tariq bit is always good time.
I don't want to think about Trump within 5 miles of the launch codes for any missile.
Yet 4 years he had control of those launch codes yet no wars!
While under your child trafficking government, there are 2 wars and far more divide and corruption!!
You uneducated insect.
Too bad it's always Republicans fighting in the wars your communist government funds for to make a profit!!!
How is Nancy Pelosi over 200 million dollars when her salary is under 500k a yeae?! Wars!!!! I laugh at how stupid democrats are.
plus not to mention he tells the world it takes 17 seconds to launch.
@theREALsum He's trolling them! It doesn't take 17 seconds to launch, hahahahah. You morons beleive everything. Like when he was sarcastic and said, "Maybe we should inject bleach to kill covid."
hahaha. You thought he was being honest. How stupid.
Don't worry. He would probably accidentally dial Stormy Daniels.😂
Realy Donnie Tiny Hands.
If my memory serves me right Donnie was outwitted by a inanimate object like a umbrella. 😊😅
Biden shakes hands with ghosts and trips over inflation
Why would anybody vote for a candidate who insults the intellect of his voters all the time?
Why? Racism 😂😂😂
Because his voters are ignorant
@@kenscarbrough5930 Because his voters are TRASH.
Why would people vote for someone who can’t articulate his own thoughts,
Because they're a reflection of him and vice versa.
One of the people I know who voted for him twice has the same mannerisms and is close in age. That person I know should also be on the sex registry, but is not...should have been jailed many times for all the drunken accidents he got in, but was not...They are Trump and Trump is them.
Trump speaks to their ills, ego, bigotry, blinding selfishness, privilege (or felt privilege--their ego can play a role here, too), and, yes, pure, but self-inflicted ignorance.
Trumps most believable defense at this point, honestly. Is to plead insanity. BIGGLY
Trump will never be able to hold a debate against Joe Biden before or after his Dementia!
Why do you think he didn't go to the Republican Debate's?
Why do you think Trump has been trying to get rid of Biden all these years?
...because Trump has no retention of facts or of basic history!
Ding ding dong bomb on Trumps mind? He is delusional!
Not as delusional as you are thinking he’s not gonna win!!! Because Trump is BACK 💯💯💯💯
That's not the first time he's made *_ridiculous, childish_* sound effects instead of "using his words" (like a mother encourages her toddler to, mid-meltdown). Trump has "TanTrumps," along with his sound F/X and malapropisms galore.
@@wholeshebang1So what is your guy trying to say here? He's an Imbecile!
czcams.com/users/shortsr80FUyHk3pQ?si=-s6BgQW33d3F5ZGg
And we need Ozzy Osbourne to translate whatever biden says
Donald trumb the baddass president😂😂😂😂😂😂
I was a babysitter, including infants. I've changed hundreds of diapers. As a model, I met Trump many times: he frequently had the smell of poopy pants.
trump 4ever 🤣😂
He will forever be my favorite stinky orange Judas
@@tuyenle8107Trump never again.
viet bot 🤣😂 @@tuyenle8107
In hell FDT @@tuyenle8107
I’m glad Mr Fallon has started to address a few of trump’s dangerous behaviors.
So - Biden’s behavior is…what? 😂
@@Changeiscoming47not treason. Trump is the GOAT of cult leaders and treason
Im sad that he, along with every other Democrat, has cognitive bias when it comes to Biden
Bidens behaviour is.... not as bad as trumps... good luck.. be well
@@29aaronjones like I said: cognitive bias. Go stick your head back in the snow. Don't eat the yellow kind!
The pair was outrageous salvo Jimmy & Tariq lollllllllllll
Smokin' tonight, Jimmy!!!
Putin is so grateful that he sent Trump a jar of hummus for Christmas:
it's made of Russian chick pea.
Baaahahaha!! Too funny 🤣😂🤣
I'm not kidding, Trump's face really reminds me of my baseball glove from when I was a kid. Same color.
Your rap breakout was so badass!
Nickey Haley should arrange a press conference and invite trump to sit down and do an I. Q test live with her.
Love to see how his space explains why he chickend out of that.
A lot of Poles in Chicago.
I am from the Arctic in Canada when will the wise people of USA say to Trump your not worthy
Stay warm 💙💙💙
Hopefuly on november 4 bc the other half are brain dead or something,blind,deaf or just sheep's 🐑 followers.😂😂😂😂 GOD help us all!!
In November. There aren't enough wise people left in the Republican party for it to happen before then.
right!😂😂😂😂
Actually he said aptitude test. I want them to take the ARMY vocational test.
*Trump Quote:* _"We are an institute and a powerful death penalty."_ --- That's the last time I'm holidaying in America! --- _"Welcome to Shutter Island."_ 🥵🇬🇧😂🤣🍺♥
Only way to get news updates😂hilariously satisfying. Unlike real news.👏🏽🎬
Right
Don’t vote if this is your source of news, Jesus Christ
Jimmy Falon is contracted by NBC, along with CNBC and MSNBC are owned by Comcast.
Comcast's biggest investors are Blackrock and Vanguard, who are involved heavily in weapon manufacturing, pharmaceuticals and shady real estate practices.
Jimmy Falon's politics and opinions perfectly align with that of Comcast and their investors.
He is a porpagandist, not a comedian.
Don’t vote ffs if this is your news source, it’s about as one sided as the news
Trevor Noah has a comedic vibe with intellect and eloquence
3:37 that is most definitely not what donnie dump would draw for “box”. It would look more like a child’s rendition of a Georgia O’Keefe.
A hole in one, you might say.
Like Trump could draw a Happy Meal that well lol
Okay, we need that Dixville Notch reality tv show!
That last clip with that sad progression, and his mono tonal speech, could be perceived as a try at mass hypnosis hmmm 🧐
You know, I am shaking my head in disbelief.
My favorite Jimmy
The other Jimmy isn't even funny and I can't believe they still allow him to have a small Mexican co-host that is the butt of all his jokes. It's downright racist
Register voter bit was hilarious great commentary as always jimmy 😂.
Yes, brainwash me some more Jimmy
His rivals have now found the most opportune time to step away from any responsibility. Would they do this if anything nice was planned for him? We’ve seen the authorities in Colorado block a former president, way ahead in the polls make something of himself/even make a living without providing any alternative - now increasingly washing their hands of all accountability.
We’ve seen the thousands of courts in the NY region, whom could have reached a resolution in days if they wanted to and yet it is dragging on for many years. We’ve seen the evidence for their bias blatantly with our own eyes, through the media and sporting events etc. We’ve heard recollections from minorities supporting this. Yet they feel now is the best time to point the finger at DJT and relinquish all blame from themselves.
And now would be the best time, given he is about to become destitute through these excessive court cases, end up in jail or worse (we’ve seen how it ended with with other iconic presidents and they want this for him as he is an outsider to the establishment).
FYI Trump said aptitude test in the clip, which is not the same as a cognitive test. If he took an aptitude test it would definitely determine that he should not be president.
You've heard of the "Walking Dead", we're dealing with the Walking Brain Dead in the USA Ever listened to interviews of Lil Shitlers followers you'd understand 😊
Why is Dump sweating so much?
That was so gross...it didn't look like sweat eitjer more like grease. That and the orange tanner...like wth
he is on drugs!
@@goettling Biden definitely is 😂
Ding Dong BOOM 💥😄
VOTE BLUE FOR DEMOCRACY 🇺🇲❤🤍💙love that tag team RAP SESSION 😂😅👍💫
Ding ding ding from the man that found a new use for motor oil on his face.Drill drill drill.Americas dream president.Sad.
Amen my friend.
Trump almost launched nuclear missiles but accidentally dialed Stormy Daniels.
🤫 _Psssst...That was no accident._ 🤭
Hahahahahahhahahaah go vote for biden. I hope you are proud to say it out loud idiot
He didn't even say cognitive test. He said aptitude test!
Crazy or stupid, both apply!😮
Fun episode!!!!
Trump describing anything is hard to believe.
All you tds idiots talk about is Trump!
This is why Trump will win. You make fun of the wrong people!
@@AmericanMuscle69 Like he won in 2020? 😃
@calisto2735 Biden 2 wars!
Trump 0 wars!
Let that sink in! This ain't 2020, you illegal invading swine!
@calisto2735 Americans aren't voting the same as they did in 2020! This is the 2024 election, not 2020! We won 2016! So does that mean I'm right in my first comment? I'm talking about this 2024 election! You child chasing drug addicts are losing this election, and I can guarantee it! Maybe don't vote for awar mongering communist?!
Trump can't tell the difference between computer language and the Korean language.
Tariq is hilarious😂
Most Americans think primaries are in the Constitution. We used to have political conventions. It was a simpler time.
Trevor Noah has a comedic vibe with intellect and eloquence🎉
The Registered Voters bit was HILARIOUS 😂!
Ding ding ding bomm when did trump become a toddler?
Please, be fair and compare he's speech with the one off the actual president.
Biden talks slowly and has a stutter. He still makes a lot more sense than Trump
Why is Trump's face 2 colors?
Bronze make up to look good on TV, because he is a naturally pale, pink white male...
Good program tonight.
We need, no REQUIRE more Burt
Jimmy! "I want people to stop DYING." Remember that bit from the town hall meeting? Do that one!
This monologue is a masterpiece in funny!!!
And that "plan" is, and I quote here, "Bing bing pssshew!"
Great math!!!
Also, we meed more Tariq!!
1:15 Isn’t a “town” that small actually a “hamlet”? Or do they have too much money to tolerate reality of any sort? Is it even big enough, to be a hamlet?
"We are an institute of a powerful death penalty." The dictator has spoken. We all have to pretend Trump is a genius now.
Just like he pretends he is not *bald*
If I didn't know any better, I think he is secrectly leaking launch codes. But then again, he's more incompetent than a dropped child.
"45" would insist he "choose" a test -- the one he'd taken fifty times before.
I really thought trump was doing crazy frog! Lol
That endorsement bit was gold!!!
“Simplest problem can’t be solved” Nope easily solved, Vote BLUE!
Indeed
Finally, no one who claims to be progressive has been easier on Trump, than Fallon.
This monologue sounds like it was written by a different team of writers, or like the comedy team was in a different mood. Still love it though.
I watch Colbert, Kimmel, and Fallon's monologues and bits every weekday. I enjoy them all, but I've got to say, Fallon and his team clearly like to keep things more on the positive side and it's an absolute joy watching and hearing his comedy 5 days a week : ) It's something to look forward to each day, and I feel like it's a blessing that they all post their monologues to CZcams.
I'm suddenly getting flashbacks of how brilliant and funny Fallon's character was when he kept pretending to sort of be the 'dumb guy' on Strike Force Five. He is so good at setting up potential jokes, knowing that the other guys on the team will knock it out of the park with on the spot punch lines.
Trump said that he would beat Nikki on an aptitude test not a cognitive test. He doesn't seem to know the difference and it would be a thrilling challenge to watch.
What the heck was that last part of his speech...did latyer his face in orange oil...that was extremely gross...he made no sense
Thank you. He could speak Chinese and his supporters would still cheer. Sad
"Ding, ding, ding boom!" Must be the best meme of the upcomming elections :D
Trumps tan is off the rhine.Blowie uppie on that clock time 69. Pop maths wtf I cracked up this entire segment. Bing ding bing da ding ding. Gong! He did end up getting lost at the end.😂Frostys are good for the dippens & slippin’s😂😂👍❤️
I’m in a state of disbelief.
Y'all are not wrong about Daines.
Well.. I’m sure the second hand smoke irritated and disgusted the other runners while they were pooping and peeling themselves.
Trump always winds up at the bottom when it comes to poles.
7:00 😂😂
That was a nice set up with Tariq
Nikki Haley calling Mar-a-Lago "Hi Trump, if you give up the endorsement and let me win the seat, I'll give you a full pardon, pal !"
...you know that conversation is going to happen...
Trump's plan didn't involve alcohol so sloshy had to make fun of him...... 🤪🇺🇲
Sad... I remember when Dixville Notch had 21 voters. Either the population is shrinking or the rest got apathetic...
Quick, explain the 11 with the 7
Lmao don't you have a list to worry about skippy
Taco Hell. Where bad tacos go because they haven’t accepted cheeses as their personal savor.
Please America -don’t let him in 😢
We need donnal trump back ❤
IS this the best America has to offer to the world,embarrassing. I used to look to America has the best country,but I am beginning to have second thoughts.😱🤮😜
LOL bing bang boom! If only I could use that jargon in my job. But apparently you just have to be a leader of a country
I didn’t realize Fallon hated trump
Have you always been stupid?
Anybody else think that Rand Paul and Ru Paul sound like names for twins? Hmmm...I wonder....
Nope.
We can’t solve the problem of putting him in jail forever where he belongs!
That was fine!
dat Lloyd Smucker is real? 7:30
His cognitive mind forgot he was once President for 4 years ….. and some of the problems of today is because of him
It's getting pretty easy to be able to tell an American from a democrat.
Was it rigged? Or did he win?
it was rigged!!!🤣🤣
Godzilla minus one should have been nominated for best picture/sound!!! FY Hollywood 🤬🤬🤬🤬
SO FUNNY I'M SHARIN' IT
Donald Trump said he would beat Nikki Haley on a cognitive test. I think a cognitive test would beat Donald Trump.
Enjoy jail pizzafile 😂 jimmy is that the same test they gave you on the island 🏝?
That's new!!!!!!
You conspicuously left out Obama.
Make fun of trump all you want , but he is coming back.
Hell no and why would anybody want him to?
@@goettling ask Iowa and New Hampshire, and the polls
@@goettling The facts are that the majority of America wants him back