Sexuality, Relationships & Boundaries // EP 7 - Pretty Lonesome
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- čas přidán 22. 09. 2022
- in this episode I chat about sexuality, how overwhelming labels can feel, and setting boundaries in relationships
id love to hear what you guys want to chat about, I have a big mouth and a lot of free time on my hands
love you
Madeline x
This podcast is about to shift the trajectory of my life
You're not even wrong
literally
honestly
REALLL
Bruh
Never stop making podcasts I’m begging you this is the most comforting thing I’ve ever listened to
We just want to know if she is dating central cee or not 😂
are they on Spotify???
@@petrakuncova3597 they have either broken up now or never got together 🫠
@@NotVivianASMR they’re still together
i agree and ive only just found out about her podcast omg
I'm 17 and I identify as bi but I have always struggled to either feel queer enough or feel understood enough. The way you described queerness and how fluid it is has helped me so much actually. This might be the most authentic talk about sexuality and all its colours I have ever heard and it brought me so much comfort, thank u Madeline ❤️
right!
I'm in the same position, and I absolutely agree
i’ve shifted between bi and fully queer my entire life and the way she talked about how you can never really be wrong about it actually almost brought me to tears
@@renadams8144 I'm with u all the way
@@gracedorsey5849 exactly 💕
she has that emma chamberlain type of making everyone confortable and also very relatable
mainly because she is good looking :p
you should definitely have people over, it doesn’t have to be influencers or whatever, I think having your sister or even friends over would be really entertaining if they’re into that!
Omg yes her and her sister would be interesting to listen to
would love to listen to her sister talk about her leg worm
you think it's a good idea they come over?
Please let’s do this every friday for the rest of our lives
yes to everything about labels not being wrong!!!! i identified as bi for years bc i genuinely was attracted to guys but a couple years ago i realized that attraction was gone and have identified as a lesbian ever since. i wasn’t wrong before, i genuinely had that attraction, until i didn’t. it’s okay for labels to change as we do
honestly hearing her bring that up really shifted my mindset. Because upon hearing that I never thought that way about it. I thought that my past labels were wrong and that in order to feel “queer enough” i’d have to have a label and put my self in some sort of box. It rlly takes all the weight off my back knowing that i don’t have to do that yk i can just be me without having to put a label or name on it.
you're bisexual not a lesbian and that's ok. bi erasure is awful.
@@lucygreene381 Sexuality is fluid for bisexuals. If you're going to argue gay men and lesbians can be changed I'm going to stop you right there and I'm not going to waste my time with a homophobic person.
I'm not dictating peoples sexual orientation I'm just pointing out reality. If someone said their 6 ft when they're 4ft you'd tell them they're not actually 6ft because that's reality.
Ur still bi. The bi cycle often gains and loses attraction sometimes for months, sometimes for years....
the amount of people trying to tell you you’re bisexual is insane…. lesbophobes get outta here. you’re a lesbian and you’re valid!! i had the exact same experience. i had been with boys my whole teenage life and i did like them but just not the same way every other girl did with their bfs, but until i got with my first girlfriend and she made me realise that i didn’t have to fake being in love, it was so life changing when i finally realised i was a lesbian
I've never heard her speak this slowly. Very good podcast, the part about labels made so much sense I couldn't relate more. Can't wait till next friday, hope you do this eternally.
"I've never been so aware that I know nothing than in my 20's" Felt that 100%
You should definitely listen to "nothing new" ft. Pheobe bridgers
@@christinasalem7849 thanks for the recommendation, good song with a good message!
freshly 18 and navigating life at the moment and taking half an hour out to listen to you has been so fab, thank you for this madeline!! i beg you continue these
i was tearing up for a second because when i came out, i put it off for at least a year because i felt the same way, i felt like i couldn't go back. so i came out as a lesbian, turned part it into my personality, and ignored every guy i might have found attractive, since at the time, i hated men so much i couldn't even imagine myself in a relationship with a guy. now, after some personal growth and a little less man-hatred, i've realized that i actually have a crush on a guy! it's crazy to me cause i've been so convinced for so long that i could never date a guy, but the one i like is so sweet and funny. it's just crazy and now i feel like i can't tell my friends, since i made being a man hating lesbian such a part of my personality.
Lesbian turned straight
lesbophobia. you view lesbians as man haters instead of women that are exclusively attracted to women. thanks for perpetuating the idea lesbians can be converted...you can walk away from perpetuating lesbophobia while lesbians have to deal with it
@Glurp puffloid yeah I'm not going to talk to someone that is preaching conversion therapy and bestiality. bye.
If you could see yourself being gay in certain situations...you need to do some soul searching my friend.
Why did you hate men so much
I feel bad for the guy you have a crush on. Nightmare.
she makes me feel so safeee
ong
I love how she makes me feel in peace like her content and HER is just so comforting
This podcast is absolutely what I needed please continue doing it, especially what you touched on, sexuality and boundaries, is something I have been recently thinking about constantly and it's really nice relating so much to someone you don't even know. Thanks!
I don't think anyone has ever described more perfectly how I feel about my sexuality the way you have
The sexuality convo was just explaining exactly what goes on in my head lmao
madeline you are literally my comfort person, i love how you reflect on things and i find it very inspiring listening to you. please never stop doing podcasts and btw i'm in love with your voice it's so soothing
what you mentioned about being introduced as the “lesbian friend” resonated with me deeply. i’m not out yet so i personally haven’t had to deal with that but i know almost every single one of my friends (that are queer and out) have. It’s not only patronizing but extremely dehumanizing and it’s almsot always said by straight people!! I perceive it, honestly, as a form of homophobia weather the intention was good or not.
but truly i enjoyed this video sm, i deleted tiktok a while ago so seeing your video pop up in my feed was such a pleasent suprise.
im 17 and it’s taken me so long to realize it, and i still haven’t come to terms with it but i know, internally, that im queer. As you eluded to, there’s this almsot residual comfort or definitiveness that comes along with having a label. However , i have a lot of internalized homophobia i need to sort through and an intense fear of coming out even though i pretty much know im a lesbian or at the very least queer. It’s really just a matter of what that means for me specifically. i just really wish straight wasn’t viewed as the default.
Im sorry to rant but your thoughts are very profound and have sparked a lot internal reflection in me-also dating doesn’t interest me at all either!
all in all-truly, thank you so much
You’re so articulate and easy to listen to , please make more of these they’re so comforting ❤️
i feel like, as someone who did have an entire toxic on and off relationship with a girl for almost all of high school, i can say without a doubt that sapphic teen relationships are so hard to navigate through, almost to the point that it's almost a right of passage that everyone comes out of it with trauma. a lot of my other friends who are women and dated other women in high school have had similar experiences, whether they were in actual relationships or situationships. i think because we know we're heading into a relationship with a woman, our defenses are let down way too much (in comparison to dating men, who we've always been warned about whether it be from media, friends, or family) that we forget that we have to establish boundaries, just like any other relationship.
anyways, great first podcast! love the talking points and although i do heavily identify with my label as a lesbian, a lot of the points you made about labels and being young were incredibly relatable experiences!
No because... why is this me
yes, exactly
Holy shit dude you put it into words… because I’ve always trusted women more in relationships than men, and with women I’ve always been incredibly codependent. That literally explains why I have so much trauma regarding my queer relationships. Also I think people don’t talk about the fact that power dynamics can definitely exist in a queer relationship
So you are saying men are screwed from the jump because women are brainwashed into fearing them by the media?
First episode and yet she already talked about so many relevant and important relatable topics with such eloquence with her words. I’m really so gonna be tuning in on this all the way. Keep up the good work!
i'm so glad i found this podcast honestly, I've been feeling a lot of pressure lately trying to label myself and felt how my preferences shifted over time, it truly is overwhelming glad you talked about it and i love how genuine you are
the older i get, the younger i feel! i totally get that, i feel like when i was a teen, i was always very unsure of my sexuality and had to act a certain way to fit the label i thought i was. now that i'm 21, i feel more sure of what i want out of a relationship, even if i'm less sure now of what i want out of life. but maturing is helping me become a more go-with-the-flow, and i really think it's really refreshing hearing you come to terms with your own sexuality.
you literally lit up a light bulb in my brain with the whole sexuality thing please keep doing this omg
mummy i needed you to sit in a car and talk to us for 30 mins. i genuinely needed this. love you.
Listening to this was like listening to someone else speak the thoughts that live in my head that I've never verbalised I feel so comforted and valid
this is genuinely the best repesentation of my thoughts on sexuality ive ever heard...
this is epic!!! congrats maddy
Wait what
wait are you back
yo what, caspar??
since when was this a friendship ??? did i miss something
omg??
Bro I love this girl I swear. So humble and so FUCKING relatable
Humble? Girl be fr
@@sabrinamonroe1063 how is she not humble? She drives like a 1995 Citroen, tells relatable stories about struggling with money through uni etc. and has never bragged or showed off. Not sure what else you’d want tbh lol
@@emilymcginness123 yeah that’s the point. She is not famous, she has nothing to brag about. Ofc she’s humble she has no other option, that’s my point
@@sabrinamonroe1063 idk why I find this so funny . You don't have to have fame and flashy things to be humble . I know so many poor people that are NOT humble . Humility is considered a great quality, NO MATTER what you have . That's the point .....
@@sabrinamonroe1063 "she has nothing to brag about" so many insecure people would want to be her , and feel she has things to brag out . YOU don't find her to have things to brag about , doesn't mean she isn't humble ........
what you said about sexuality i feel it so deeply and it describes so much ab the pressure we have to label ourselves and the struggles of queer women and the feeling of not wanting to conform to a label, you slay so much and i just understand everything you say lol 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
rewatching this because i can’t help but be obsessed with your podcasts. i love you and your content so much madeline
this podcast has been the best thing to happen to me literally this year, forever grateful for u madeliene💞
From first tiktoks in the car with a cardboard roof to a well produced podcast. I love the journey
this has fr shifted my mentality and it is so comforting to know other people share similar experiences as me.
This is literally exactly down the the details how I think. Thank you so much for this Madelyn you have no idea how much you’ve helped me heal
she’s about to hit 500k y’all this is so crazy
look how far we’ve came with our bestie
the whole neutral colours, crisp mic and rain is a vibe!! i recently started makinhg podcasts too and its so fun. i'm excited for your journey and i wish you good luck x
Love this. I’ll be joining you every Friday. Related to you on so many level. I say I’m pansexual because I don’t really care about gender when dating, but this is also not entirely true and there are nuances. I am okay with that. You should make a whole video about setting boundaries/keeping them in place with friends/family/romantic partners. Or, life lessons you would tell yourself at 19. Can’t wait to see more :)
off topic but the rain in the window is such a vibe and this video is so so calming. also, i love how articulate you are
I can’t lie, it was jarring to hear someone really put into words your thoughts and emotions but it’s the only podcast I’ve ever sat through without getting bored 2 mins in. Maybe your next one could with a really good friend that you don’t really understand (idk how to describe it)
I think your boundaries are things that the other person, who’s hypothetically very interested in you, should be finding out by themselves too. I think that’s part of falling in love, you notice you’re with someone who understands/sees you, someone who’s paying attention to the little details. You’re both setting your boundaries together, mutual helping.
Yk what I’m a straight male- single and who is also not yet in their 20s, so technically have not much to relate to in this but man that was just so interesting to listen to and learn about different people’s worlds and experiences. Some people I think just have a talent to talk about anything whilst naturally being able format it in an interesting way through taking out unnecessary bits, but keeping enough of them in that it feels like a personal conversation. Think that’s why I enjoyed it- it does just feel like a conversation.
The part where you suggested to just sit back and observe at least until you know the person you’re dating is so true. I had to learn it the hard way but I hope someone takes this tip and applies it because it’s gold
i am so glad this came up in my recommended, i literally was so stunned by her beauty that i gasped and hid my face like an idiot. then, boom, hit with her accent, gasped again. then, just her vocabulary in general, the way she expresses herself. . . UGH everything about her is so breathtaking
also, this is so relatable 😭
This is what we all need
This was really fun to watch, absolutely feel free to get yourself a friend to talk to! Could you talk about what it’s like being queer and having really deep friendships with other women and how platonic and romantic feelings can crossover?
Please keep doing these podcasts! I absolutely love your TikToks and the second I saw this video pop up I was so excited. This feels so chill and definitely the kind of chat/thought-spewing conversation I wish more ppl had :)
This video randomly came up on my youtube recommendation and i’m so glad I clicked it. I went through the same exact experience. I used to identify as a lesbian but up until a few months ago I started developing feelings for men again so I decided to go unlabeled. I now have a boyfriend but sometimes this weird feeling creeps into my head it’s almost like a guilt or disappointment that I am no longer who I thought I was. You get so comfortable with your first queer label that it’s almost heartbreaking to let go of. So many people in this community help you figure out your labels but forget to talk about the importance of change and how you can come to a different realization about your sexuality at any point in time and it feels like no one is there to help you if that happens. I still like women but I just like whoever I like in general, even though I’m currently with a man that doesn’t erase my lesbian experiences from the past. I used to also be called the lesbian friend. Right before I started liking men again, the word lesbian started to become very uncomfortable for me. I felt like I was lesbian first and human second. It was a very isolating experience and now that i’m not a lesbian my sexuality is not treated the same at all, nobody is as rude to me as they used to be with that label.
So even tho me or others are not identifying as something anymore, it
does not take away the experiences you had under that label, and that’s the most important lesson of all.
omfg you literally talked ab what was obsessively going through my mind these past weeks THANK YOU
Please keep doing this as much as u can its lovely to just hear someone talk about their own experiences in the world
love hearing about your lessons that you’ve learnt throughout your life, it’s very relatable and you speak wonderfully
I’m 49. I came out 10 years ago as bi but I was from high school. I can tell you it wasn’t easy to go that many years married and in denial. I’m open to whoever asks, but it’s not easy
IVE BEEN HOPING FOR THIS FOR SO LONG YOU JUST MADE MY WEEK
You could talk about literally anything and you have my interest I can’t lie. Please make more
the subjects for this first podcast were so interesting and you managed to get the whole thing to flow and i think that’s just so good for a first timer bc i’ve heard so many podcasts and subjects change so abrupt and yeah it’s quick and it’s no big deal but it’s nice when the subjects correlate and flow well !! felt comforting hearing you talk about your thoughts and experiences !!!!!
I would love to hear more of your thoughts about sexuality! From what I’ve heard so far you have a really relatable (for me at least) perspective, but it would be really interesting to hear about how you realized you’re queer and kind of your whole journey of dealing with other peoples opinions about your sexuality. Love the pod!❤
I think a whole podcast on identity would be so good because I know me and a lot of young people online are dealing with these identity crises because of things like tiktok, aesthetics, tropes telling us who we should and shouldn't be
im only five minutes in and its been extremely validating and comforting to listen to your thoughts and feelings oh wow.
Please please please continue this!!! This video was like a warm hug that my mental health needed! Thank you for this genuinely
ewww
i've had the worts week ever, and realizing you did a podcast, and listening to it...i'm so comforted and happy. i love hearing you ramble on anything
This video cured my soul, hydrated my body and calmed me more than a 50 minutes meditation
Oh my god I have never felt more comforted by a podcast. I've recently been SO astronomically confused over what labels I think 'fit' me, I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian right now, I haven't had a crush on a man in a very long time but i'm so scared of the backlash I could potentially receive, from strangers and friends and family, if I find out that I'm not a lesbian and I actually like men and i'm just unaware of it right now. It's terrifying the way some people react to changing labels, but like, we grow everyday and it's so unhealthy to pretend ever single person is going to stay in a specific sexuality and 'box' and ugh it's so so confusing and I wish labels could just be abolished and everyone could embrace change. Like people shouldn't be literally scared by the idea of labels and everything and it's just ugh horrible idk ://
Why are women this schizophrenic? Like, you don't know what you're attracted too? Lmao
this is literally the first time i've ever successfully listened to a full podcast. thank u madeline
As a guy who's recently had a mutual breakup and didn't feel very strongly about their needs in a relationship until very recently, this podcast is incredibly refreshing. Learning a lot, will definitely watch more.
this was so comforting to watch
This is the most relatable thing to me ever I could actually cry
Your voice genuinely the most relaxing thing in the world holy heavens
girl i don’t even relate to this, but i love the insight on your life & how you’ve come to where you are!! i love this so much. keep doing them!!!
I’m so happy your video came across my recommendations. It was an absolute blast to listen to you speak, I can’t wait for the next episode!
definitely have given up on the whole label sh!t i just screw and date who i want and when ppl ask what my sexuality is i just tell them i like ppl i find attractive and that’s the end of it the whole culture around labels on social media can b so toxic i just want no part of it
I really needed this podcast in my life ohmygod
Thank you for this you have no idea how safe I felt and how less alone I feel now. My sexuality and discovering who I was took so long and it went in a very similar direction as you. For so long I felt, and still sometimes feel this way, like I was faking it or that I had to define exactly who I was otherwise I was messing up the hard work the community had done to be accepted. It's tiring and hard. Listening to you say exactly what I needed was amazing. So thank you
❤
It's so nice to know I am not the only one who feels this way, everything you said, I have felt, I feel, WILL feel... thank you for sharing! This has been very helpful to me.
“maybe my resistance against this was just logic” LITERALLY BC U GET SOMEWHAT EMOTIONALLY MATURE MEN THATS SO SLAY
this entire video was SOOOOO VALIDATING!!!!! oh my god. thank you youtube algorithm & thank you for putting out this video. i appreciate it so deeply.
thank u so much for sharing this. it's so comforting to hear someone else speak about a lot of stuff i am also going through
Your voice is genuinely one of the most relaxing things ever ily 🫶
What you said about feeling young in your 20s, I think about that all the time! I feel so much younger now at 23 than I did at 17. I think it happens once you really start to realize what it means to take care of yourself. Also I love you, looking forward to more of these :)
this makes me feel better as a 17 year old who feels “old”
it think it’s because of the difference of being a big fish in a small pond vs a small fish in a big pond. You are old in the world of childhood, but then you are young in the world of adulthood
Her starting a podcast makes life so freakin better!!!!!!
cant describe how much this podcast made me feel safe please make this every fridayyy xxx
please continue doing this, can’t even express how much these help
Everything in this has been worded so perfectly, thank you
hi, I am a 16 year old girl from the uk and I just wanted to thank you for this video. I've been called gay countless of times and felt a weird pressure to to pick a label to belong to. None of them seem to fit me or be fitting to commit/identify too whereas going by unlabelled/queer is so much more freeing to me.
Its amazing to hearing the story of an older girl go went through something similar
“it might not have been accurate, but it was true” this is such a good viewpoint when looking at sexuality, but also lots of other stuff.
this is exaclty how ive been thinking over this year, im glad you explained it so well cause its been wracking my brain trying to say exactly what you said
what you said about feeling like as you age you feel younger reminds me of the taylor swift lyric “How can a person know everything at 18 but nothing at 22?”
would listen to literally anything for the whole day without interruption
madeline you definitely need to continue these EVERY FRIDAY!! i have never related to anyone more
no words can explain how i love this woman
You took the words out of my mouth! i felt similar to you when “changing my label” and announcing it to people I was so scared that they would call me a “fraud”…
Queer is such a safe and authentic word to me about my sexuality, my gender and whole identity and I also feel really peaceful with that term when showing people “on paper” who you are
Also keep up the podcast if you like them because i thought this was super interesting and entertaining :)
Ngl at this point in my life this video was very pivotal to me definitely have the same view points on the fluidity of sexuality and not liking specific labels and being put in a box like I’ve come away from this knowing I need to think more deeply especially about the boundaries aspect looking forward to more podcasts
i loved this so much!!! it was so helpful for me and i really liked how you were in the car the whole time. i think bringing other people on sometimes and other times doing them by yourself like this would be wonderful! great job!
i spent an hour last week talking to my therapist about being scared to change the label of my sexuality. this is such good timing
This is so relatable and comforting thank you so much
I recently came out of bisexual after being out as lesbian for 3 years and i cant explain how much my feelings resonate with this podcast, its help put my feelings into perspective and made everything feel less crazy, thank you
that was smooth, it just calmed me, you literally unpacked my mind and im grateful
"Things can go wrong and I can still get up in this morning" once you embody this mindset it's a real game changer!
this was so nice it was actually the first time i heard someone describe their sexuality the same exact way i feel about my mine 🤝💗 this was very validating and cool
Yay 🥹 I’m literally about to start my podcast too. I’m taking this as a sign. This is giving me extra extra motivation to finally release my first episode ☺️☺️☺️🙈
Thank you for talking about labels and sexuality. I've always struggled with it as a queer woman because I didn't like the stereotypes placed on me, or because I didn't feel represented by them. And sexuality is always changing so I never wanted to put a label on myself in the first place. I was just a human and didn't want to face more hatred. I was already going through it at home. Growing up I feel like we as queer people don't owe each other anything and it should be by choice. I feel more of a responsibility to myself, to find love and heal my trauma, than I do to fit into a box to make a fraction of an impact.
listening to ur problems and just thoughts is fixing all my problems and answering all my thoughts ilysm