Sad Cringe

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  • čas přidán 24. 04. 2019
  • ewww that's sad
    MERCH: soothouse.bigcartel.com/
    =====THE GANG=====
    Wilbur: / wilbursoot
    Charlie: / @charliedoesstuff
    George: / sootgeorge
    David: / sootdavid
    Jack: / sootjack
    Dan: / sootdaan
    Matt: / sootmatt
    Rhianna: / sootrhianna
    =====THE MEDIA=====
    Music: incompetech.com/
    Discord: / discord
    Patreon: / soothouse
    Twitter: / housesoot
    Twitch: / soothouse
    Intro:
    / @weirdfsh
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 5K

  • @evidentlymak
    @evidentlymak Před 5 lety +4715

    2017 Soothouse: Eat Pant
    2019 Soothouse: *ToUcH fAnNy*

    • @nunkatsu
      @nunkatsu Před 5 lety +87

      SootHouse: touch fanny
      Me, an intellectual: perform physical contact with female human genitalia

    • @apollo4294
      @apollo4294 Před 5 lety +8

      See hat is next

    • @homestuckdubs
      @homestuckdubs Před 5 lety +10

      2018: 9000 crocodiles

    • @nunkatsu
      @nunkatsu Před 5 lety +1

      @@homestuckdubs it's over 9 thousands

    • @mangor8543
      @mangor8543 Před 5 lety +1

      2020 Eat Fanny

  • @chickenfettuccine9329
    @chickenfettuccine9329 Před 5 lety +3675

    Omg he's CHEATING ON ME?!
    A:Divorce
    B: Touch Fanny

  • @thetube8682
    @thetube8682 Před 3 lety +8556

    I never want to hear the phrase "Do you Reddit bro?" ever again.
    Edit: You're all such clever little comedians.

    • @metalgearzwei
      @metalgearzwei Před 3 lety +503

      do you even 4chan dude

    • @Superfalcon-rf7og
      @Superfalcon-rf7og Před 3 lety +519

      “Im a better redditor”

    • @shantiraotarble9109
      @shantiraotarble9109 Před 3 lety +361

      Redditor is an insult at this point

    • @ceoofheinz6171
      @ceoofheinz6171 Před 3 lety +106

      My soul returned into my body just to be torn out of it again after hearing that phrase

    • @JamesTheAce0
      @JamesTheAce0 Před 3 lety +44

      Now what adjective should I apply to people who use that phrase? I’ll use either “bullshit brained” or “alcohol blooded”

  • @AaronKaiMCDNLD
    @AaronKaiMCDNLD Před 4 lety +2394

    Imagine bragging about being a "Better Redditor" lol.

    • @sleepingonyourroof
      @sleepingonyourroof Před 3 lety +81

      Peak wholesome 100 big chunges

    • @AaronKaiMCDNLD
      @AaronKaiMCDNLD Před 3 lety +67

      @@sleepingonyourroof big keanu chungus fedora wholesome moment 100

    • @heheboi1206
      @heheboi1206 Před 3 lety +21

      Big chungus keanu reeves wholesome 100

    • @MrMeme2006
      @MrMeme2006 Před 3 lety +11

      @@heheboi1206 haha funni reddit moment

    • @heheboi1206
      @heheboi1206 Před 3 lety +4

      @@MrMeme2006 indeed

  • @mandyspaswick7116
    @mandyspaswick7116 Před 5 lety +12860

    David: He's dying
    Subtitles: He's fine

  • @dan_the_swag_man6937
    @dan_the_swag_man6937 Před 4 lety +13065

    "My iq is 3 points below genius"
    "knock knock"
    "come in"

    • @emeraldsky2823
      @emeraldsky2823 Před 4 lety +116

      czcams.com/video/YeEB8Kw3qAY/video.html this, just this

    • @mistermegalo
      @mistermegalo Před 4 lety +335

      INT 20, WIS 3

    • @nichii1603
      @nichii1603 Před 4 lety +93

      Come in babe...

    • @justluke59
      @justluke59 Před 4 lety +69

      Yes, 3 points... 3 hundred maybe

    • @moodymoosh
      @moodymoosh Před 4 lety +8

      AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  • @Mick_92
    @Mick_92 Před 4 lety +1180

    2:35 Imagine being this guy's child and finding this pic of your dad that was posted a little over 9 months, maybe a little less than a year before you were born, and coming to the realization that you were literally willed into existence by the sheer power of Facebook likes.

    • @ArcanineEspeon
      @ArcanineEspeon Před 3 lety +93

      Imagine asking your dad "how did you and mommy decide to have me?" and instead of a cute story you get this picture

    • @ArcanineEspeon
      @ArcanineEspeon Před 3 lety +72

      For that matter, imagine being a little kid who sees that picture and coming to the conclusion that Facebook is how babies are born

    • @TheRealBelovianna
      @TheRealBelovianna Před 3 lety +45

      I find that oddly wholesome - discovering that thousands, possibly millions of people, wanted to you to exist. 💙

    • @Mick_92
      @Mick_92 Před 3 lety +93

      @@TheRealBelovianna But not your mom.

    • @LadiesHideYourMans
      @LadiesHideYourMans Před 3 lety +14

      @@Mick_92 I would cry

  • @ihatevendingmachines2966
    @ihatevendingmachines2966 Před 3 lety +1067

    7:08 *”I’m a better redditor XD”*
    That’s like the most saddest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life...

  • @ServingOthers99
    @ServingOthers99 Před 5 lety +7585

    My daily routine:
    -Eat pant
    -Touch Fanny
    -Go up bum of me friends ma

  • @AlphaXY13
    @AlphaXY13 Před 5 lety +7774

    "Dey chips ahoy Mama." 🍪

  • @silvertheelf
    @silvertheelf Před 4 lety +515

    10:10
    At that point the person is pretending to not know what the joke is, there is no way they didn’t get it.

    • @aa-sp3xx
      @aa-sp3xx Před 3 lety +16

      @@wamwamwam we all do

    • @silvertheelf
      @silvertheelf Před 2 lety +1

      @scpwiki account but what are the chances.

    • @silvertheelf
      @silvertheelf Před 2 lety +1

      @scpwiki account no it’s very much what chance is there that they are that kind of person? Stop liking your own comment.

    • @silvertheelf
      @silvertheelf Před 2 lety +1

      @scpwiki account I think your incorrect, what I said is very much correct. Stop liking your own comments.

    • @silvertheelf
      @silvertheelf Před 2 lety +1

      @scpwiki account I am still correct in asking what are the chances. Stop liking your own comments.

  • @BlueCatarex
    @BlueCatarex Před 3 lety +155

    The fact that David says "Give him a minute, he's dying," but the text says "he's fine" makes it so much more funny to me, and I don't know why.

  • @AaronKaiMCDNLD
    @AaronKaiMCDNLD Před 5 lety +6656

    Im pretty sure the "Knock, Knock" dude knows what the joke is going to be and is severely trying to avoid it

    • @amiami6413
      @amiami6413 Před 5 lety +918

      Diddy Kong Christ
      I wouldn’t give him that kind of credit.

    • @bruhSaintJohn
      @bruhSaintJohn Před 5 lety +1478

      CGTS 457 but his IQ is 3 points less than genius level. He knows how jokes work.

    • @amiami6413
      @amiami6413 Před 5 lety +503

      Phirenor
      Of course, I forgot.

    • @veeisntcool
      @veeisntcool Před 4 lety +48

      What was the joke supposed to be? I'd never heard that one

    • @bruhSaintJohn
      @bruhSaintJohn Před 4 lety +218

      @@veeisntcool it goes like this
      1 -knock knock
      2 -who's there?
      1 -something retarded
      2 -something retarded who?
      1 -deez nuts, gotem

  • @SirAlienGuy
    @SirAlienGuy Před 5 lety +9415

    i had a girl say "please dont do this" after i asked her out

    • @MILOEBA
      @MILOEBA Před 5 lety +1030

      Ha. Loser.
      -same though, I've asked a girl out,-
      -she said maybe later-

    • @klank1202
      @klank1202 Před 5 lety +140

      OOF

    • @gunyukwunny
      @gunyukwunny Před 5 lety +845

      You can’t be rejected if you don’t ask someone hahahahahaha
      I’m lonely

    • @Necrom6
      @Necrom6 Před 5 lety +189

      @@gunyukwunny epic

    • @tedcoombs7762
      @tedcoombs7762 Před 5 lety +78

      GunYukWunny good plan

  • @chillemdafoe5938
    @chillemdafoe5938 Před 4 lety +583

    6:00 the guys name is lucas werner and hes constantly creeping on young/underage women. His profile has plent of cringe

    • @confusedaf1112
      @confusedaf1112 Před 4 lety +33

      I think I heard about him on the Kiwi Farms once.

    • @TSkippiestOfBoys
      @TSkippiestOfBoys Před 4 lety +48

      I just checked and he belongs on the incel board

    • @mirorman477
      @mirorman477 Před 3 lety +18

      He looks like Drachenlord kinda

    • @shane9245
      @shane9245 Před 3 lety +10

      lucas weiner

    • @xenoncantread
      @xenoncantread Před 3 lety +26

      he's been posting nothing but the n word and now he's making people youtube videos for money cause ig hes poor and homeless now.

  • @anactualalpaca7016
    @anactualalpaca7016 Před 4 lety +680

    i still can't get over "touch fanny" and i watched this vid the day it came out

  • @oskar3897
    @oskar3897 Před 5 lety +5082

    1979: we are going to have giant robots in the future!
    2019: *T O U C H* *F A N N Y*

    • @juliuskingsley4434
      @juliuskingsley4434 Před 4 lety +7

      He said that right when I read this lmao

    • @cathacker13
      @cathacker13 Před 4 lety +3

      I just realised there's a character named Fanny in that old cartoon that was on YT where objects fought for an island.

    • @roselynplayz
      @roselynplayz Před 4 lety +1

      MetreX You mean BFDI/BFDIA/BFB?

    • @cathacker13
      @cathacker13 Před 4 lety

      @@roselynplayz yes

    • @alienboy4250
      @alienboy4250 Před 4 lety +4

      giant robot

  • @liamtw679
    @liamtw679 Před 5 lety +6776

    0:47 there's a response to this that got cropped out where someone says "every room is an escape room when he's in it"

    • @TheJavierMartinez88
      @TheJavierMartinez88 Před 4 lety +101

      I was going to post the same thing. What happened with that? o.O

    • @evenrik_2214
      @evenrik_2214 Před 4 lety +16

      Making fun of incels like that is not ok

    • @evenrik_2214
      @evenrik_2214 Před 4 lety +15

      @TERFs don't deserve basic rights, and why is it not ok to be an incel? It's not my own choice. You think all incels are the same. I might just be an mentacel but still celibate, i have anxiety which is likely why i have a mindset thinking nobody would ever want to have sex with me. 80% of males are incels. Not all are toxic and haters. I'm just like a normal person that nobody talks to because they have plenty of other people they already know about

    • @NotThatUser
      @NotThatUser Před 4 lety +109

      Evenrik_22
      kk

    • @blimlimlimm
      @blimlimlimm Před 4 lety +488

      Evenrik_22 being a virgin is one thing and doesn't make you and incel, crafting your identity around that fact on the other hand is where problems arise. If a core part of your identity is the fact they you cant get laid, you are trapping yourself into a loop of
      can't get laid -> obsess over it -> develop more negative feelings and attitudes toward women -> become less desirable to women because it's obvious you see them as potential candidates to lose your virginity to rather than human beings -> can't get laid -> obsess over it -> etc.

  • @briabecker
    @briabecker Před 3 lety +1835

    Ngl, Jack being so confident in the fact that he’s been rejected kinda makes me feel better about being rejected. Like, yeah. It hurts, but you’ll get better, and you’ll be able to confidently talk about it one day. Also, he’s incredibly thoughtful. Not many boys that I know understand that no means no. I know making fun of him was all good fun, but I felt like I had to say something cause he just genuinely seems so sweet.

    • @randomaccount8020
      @randomaccount8020 Před 3 lety +72

      @@haroldbalzac6894 The idiots at the local bar

    • @marcowulliampopirers2216
      @marcowulliampopirers2216 Před 3 lety +18

      amogos

    • @toxic_shr00m
      @toxic_shr00m Před 2 lety +9

      Relationships are gross

    • @layalsaleh4103
      @layalsaleh4103 Před 2 lety +83

      ​@@toxic_shr00m bro are you 9? who tf just see's someone talking about relationships and is like "eW eAUgHh disgUSTING"
      like do all parents just get divorced after having children, tf?

    • @ambi_cc8464
      @ambi_cc8464 Před 2 lety +14

      @@toxic_shr00m and so are you, grow up

  • @SonOfTheLlama
    @SonOfTheLlama Před 3 lety +99

    that guy not understanding how knock knock jokes work literally made me want to jump off of a building. How can you get to any stage of adulthood and never hear a knock knock joke?

    • @photonicpizza1466
      @photonicpizza1466 Před 3 lety +7

      Probably not a native English speaker

    • @zoomrrmcgee
      @zoomrrmcgee Před 2 lety +1

      @@photonicpizza1466 Or, the most likely thing, just incredibly idiotic and does not have an IQ 3 points below genius level

    • @weneedaladder8384
      @weneedaladder8384 Před 2 lety +19

      He might have figured she was gonna block him, and was wasting her time to get back at her.
      His IQ is only three points from genius, after all.

    • @TheSm1thers
      @TheSm1thers Před 2 lety +12

      Pretty sure he did understand how it worked, just enjoyed her getting mad over not being able to make the joke

    • @nothingtoseehere8771
      @nothingtoseehere8771 Před 2 lety +6

      That knock knock joke's been done to death, he's probably seen it before and knew where it was going

  • @handlesarestupid154
    @handlesarestupid154 Před 4 lety +10797

    The Overwatch guy lives in the same city as me and he's such a creep. He posts about how he's at the optimal breeding age and that he needs a young but legal teenage girlfriend to create healthy offspring. He only added the "young but legal" thing after he got put on blast for making posts about trying to find a 16 year old to breed with, massive yikes.

    • @andeesmith2702
      @andeesmith2702 Před 4 lety +1312

      Was looking for this comment
      He’s so gross and I don’t even remember his name

    • @uhhuh1291
      @uhhuh1291 Před 4 lety +711

      Hopefully if he ever mated with another human, he would be so overwhelmed with the child support that he will no longer be here.
      Just hopefully. Dude is creepy and vomit inviting enough from the video.

    • @thejabberwocky5884
      @thejabberwocky5884 Před 4 lety +668

      Holy fuck stay safe

    • @zephyr1741
      @zephyr1741 Před 4 lety +603

      *_breed_*

    • @twinkletwinklelittleyuuga8206
      @twinkletwinklelittleyuuga8206 Před 4 lety +258

      Gay Bowser Why breed? Don’t you mean... mate 👊😎🤙

  • @intrudernoise
    @intrudernoise Před 4 lety +5411

    "I'm a better redditor xD"
    Never in my life have I ever wanted to find and kill someone this bad.

    • @ChknKng
      @ChknKng Před 4 lety +87

      Joe Jester not even the knock knock guy?

    • @WorldKeepsSpinnin
      @WorldKeepsSpinnin Před 4 lety +122

      Joe Jester walk into there room with a knife and whisper in there ear who’s the better redditor now “x...D”

    • @JeanMarceaux
      @JeanMarceaux Před 4 lety +52

      Just tell them they'll never reach that reddit gold and they will die on their own.

    • @nicolekiewel8228
      @nicolekiewel8228 Před 4 lety +13

      E p I c

    • @Alex-cw3rz
      @Alex-cw3rz Před 4 lety +12

      Is that because then they'd no longer be a better redditor than you?

  • @tobyandahalf
    @tobyandahalf Před 2 lety +40

    "are you gonna keep harassing someone after they said no once you ask them out?"
    I like the way Jack thinks

  • @hyperlyne8282
    @hyperlyne8282 Před 4 lety +351

    I was actually getting enraged at the knock knock part.

    • @punchy207
      @punchy207 Před 3 lety +7

      it was hilarious

    • @xxIluvyouguysxx
      @xxIluvyouguysxx Před 3 lety +18

      I was screaming “JUST BLOCK HIM” 😂

    • @MersuneLiku
      @MersuneLiku Před 3 lety +1

      @@xxIluvyouguysxx My mom told me to stop screaming cause of that

    • @akkiaddizone6889
      @akkiaddizone6889 Před rokem

      @@xxIluvyouguysxx blocking someone because they can't get a joke, wtf?

  • @theesl284
    @theesl284 Před 5 lety +2773

    Roses are red
    Kim Kardashian is my nanny
    All jack want to do is
    T O U C H F A N N Y

  • @shori8438
    @shori8438 Před 5 lety +28238

    watching soothouse is like seeing your friends are having fun, but no one talks to you.

  • @andreablack1516
    @andreablack1516 Před 3 lety +215

    Britain: America is too patriotic!
    Also Britain: my kid's name is Britton

    • @mars6855
      @mars6855 Před 3 lety +26

      i do know a girl named america, we’re out here really living in the same country we’re named after✋🙄

    • @linearmetroidvania888
      @linearmetroidvania888 Před 2 lety +7

      Now we just need United and States to summon George Washington

    • @cynicalbutterscotch6581
      @cynicalbutterscotch6581 Před 2 lety +13

      @@linearmetroidvania888 you’ve forgotten Liberty and Justice

    • @royalcrumble2384
      @royalcrumble2384 Před 2 lety +8

      Pretty sure that post is american lol

    • @haroldbalzac6336
      @haroldbalzac6336 Před 8 měsíci +2

      The cookies were called cookies in the post so i dont think they were british.

  • @CalamitasCalliope
    @CalamitasCalliope Před 3 lety +100

    They referenced Brexit here, and it took so long for it go through that this channel was done by the time it passed

    • @rilla5058
      @rilla5058 Před 2 lety

      @Oregano I am British and I have no fcking clue what went on if I'm totally honest, all I know is that we have finally left now. After the first couple of years you just start blocking it out.

    • @rilla5058
      @rilla5058 Před 2 lety

      @Oregano Utter hell. We had votes on whether or not to leave, which the results of changed a few times because they couldn't just stick to what the decision was at the first. We had the prime minister change inbetween because the first oe didn't one to leave the EU so poeple decided we needed someone who did. Loads of people disagreed on both sides, and it got to the point where most people hardly cared what we did as long as it happened, and quickly.
      I don't mind at all, although I'd say I'm probably not the most up-to-date with all the current goings-on.
      Oil... are you referring to petrol crisis?
      A quick explanation is simply that the goverment is claiming that we are running out. There have been riots because of the shortage and the fact that the price is going up; people are worried that they won't be able to purchase it.
      I think they're saying it's all due to the economy being ruined because of Covid & the quarantine.

    • @SD_yessir
      @SD_yessir Před 8 měsíci

      ​@@rilla5058It sounds like how here in the States, our sitting president is using COVID and Ukraine as an excuse for the bullshit gas prices, and not the fact that he's been actively campaigning against domestic oil production for the sake of environmental activism, while simultaneously campaigning for an increased reliance on oil imports from OPEC states in the Middle East.
      Still, he pats himself on the back and acts like the US is in a new golden age. Meanwhile I swipe my card at the gas pump, watch the numbers keep rising, and try not to fucking kill myself.

  • @bigniggamemes8204
    @bigniggamemes8204 Před 4 lety +7443

    Dey chips ahoy mama is now one of my favourite lines ever heard

  • @GoingOffTopical
    @GoingOffTopical Před 5 lety +2974

    . Those sexual rewards are real low tier, what you need to do for cuddle time?

    • @ursamajor161
      @ursamajor161 Před 5 lety +261

      breath

    • @V8_Diva
      @V8_Diva Před 5 lety +374

      Just cook and clean the kitchen. It says "anything you want" :/

    • @killerbee4229
      @killerbee4229 Před 5 lety +212

      to unlock the god tier cuddle time, you have to do everything on the list.

    • @SpadeFuryOfficial
      @SpadeFuryOfficial Před 5 lety +29

      the ultimate godly cuddle time 😫

    • @tchitarrone
      @tchitarrone Před 5 lety +141

      @Brupcat bruh, what's bad is that the man needs to be rewarded for doing basic shit around the house

  • @archivistways
    @archivistways Před 2 lety +34

    the delivery of the knock knock jokes one just made it so much more funny, Wilbur souded so angry lmao

  • @dumbjack228
    @dumbjack228 Před 3 lety +55

    The girl: knock knock
    The guy: I am 4 parallel universes ahead of you

  • @miskriii
    @miskriii Před 5 lety +4439

    the knock knock joke convo was easily the most uncomfortable thing ive ever witnessed in my life

    • @darkshadowsx5949
      @darkshadowsx5949 Před 4 lety +81

      idk the guy coughing to death trying to read the last one was pretty bad too. it just ruined it.

    • @th3rasave
      @th3rasave Před 4 lety +183

      I can't tell if he was fucking with her or just an idiot
      (Though judging by that "My IQ is ___" comment, probably the latter)

    • @LilacTidalWave
      @LilacTidalWave Před 4 lety +56

      @@darkshadowsx5949 shut up dude

    • @crazyroundman7049
      @crazyroundman7049 Před 4 lety +75

      It seems like something I would do on purpose to annoy the person telling the joke

    • @Otgel
      @Otgel Před 4 lety +37

      @@th3rasave i mean, he might be a genius, for a vegetable

  • @yaboylemon9578
    @yaboylemon9578 Před 4 lety +4237

    The sexual rewards thing is definitely sad bro imagine how sad that man is in that relationship.

    • @spagetter
      @spagetter Před 4 lety +1185

      given how simple the tasks were, they're both miserable

    • @xx_zrx_xx
      @xx_zrx_xx Před 4 lety +357

      oHhHHhH i thought it was written by the wife... Yikes

    • @tangerinesfolga3243
      @tangerinesfolga3243 Před 4 lety +455

      No, he’s probably just can’t do home stuff without reward... so he’s an asshole :)

    • @fattesttitsincairo
      @fattesttitsincairo Před 4 lety +528

      Oh yeah that’s definitely sad how he needs to be bribed with *T O U C H F A N N Y* to uh +reads notes+ pay attention to his own children.

    • @fattesttitsincairo
      @fattesttitsincairo Před 4 lety +275

      Savage Shot Tbh it shouldn’t matter if either or both of them work, chores still need to be done in your own house and it shouldn’t be something you do to get a reward, because well, you live here. It’s for you and your partner and your kids’ comfort that you do it, so... it getting to the point where bribing and sexual favors need to be brought up is pretty bad either way.

  • @LLLadySSS
    @LLLadySSS Před 3 lety +1249

    I can't believe someone has to bribe their spouse with "sexual rewards" for doing things like cleaning your living space and taking care oF YOUR CROTCH GOBLINS

    • @aprilrolls
      @aprilrolls Před 3 lety +137

      this is a month old but... CROTCH GOBLINS-

    • @Skywreckdemon
      @Skywreckdemon Před 3 lety +237

      I also think it's sad that the wife is using intimacy as a bargaining chip. It's sad on both ends.

    • @wonderful_whiscash9534
      @wonderful_whiscash9534 Před 3 lety +6

      @@Skywreckdemon no the husband made the list I think

    • @lys1065
      @lys1065 Před 3 lety +17

      Fucking "CROTCH GOBLINS" killed me

    • @TaylorLames
      @TaylorLames Před 3 lety +1

      @@wonderful_whiscash9534 Axie :O

  • @LensenMessias
    @LensenMessias Před 3 lety +46

    I recommend always watching Soot house at 0.5 speed, it sounds like they're totally Hammered, makes the thing 10x more funnier

  • @jungfreuds
    @jungfreuds Před 5 lety +6911

    The guy who wouldn't/couldn't go along with the knock knock joke was so frustrating I almost had to get up and take a walk. The endless pet names and mentioning his IQ was also another 2 layers of cringe.

    • @werisekk3
      @werisekk3 Před 5 lety +562

      I am still fuming. I hope he was a douchebag troll or something or God help me

    • @lionhartjohn1000
      @lionhartjohn1000 Před 5 lety +959

      For the sake of my sanity i like to think he already heard that joke before so he was just fucking with her.

    • @Beatumpop
      @Beatumpop Před 5 lety +141

      it was lovely

    • @KairuHakubi
      @KairuHakubi Před 5 lety +498

      Not a tenth as cringe as trying to play a clever joke on shutting someone down. I laughed my ass off at that, it was total justice.

    • @1ard103
      @1ard103 Před 5 lety +398

      im fairly sure he had already heard this before and was just messing with her.

  • @kendallsonfire7924
    @kendallsonfire7924 Před 4 lety +3090

    the one with the "Knock Knock" "Who's there" "You can't" and then he'd just go "Wdym sweetheart" had me banging my desk with rage

    • @Mii.2.0
      @Mii.2.0 Před 4 lety +175

      _What's wrong, sweetheart?_

    • @masterofadapting
      @masterofadapting Před 4 lety +343

      I bet he was doing it on purpose. He probably has heard the joke before and was intentionally getting under her skin.

    • @xiphactinusaudax1045
      @xiphactinusaudax1045 Před 3 lety +106

      @@masterofadapting He was doing it to avoid being blocked

    • @masterofadapting
      @masterofadapting Před 3 lety +23

      Xiphactinus Official I know. That’s kind of what I meant I think.

    • @xiphactinusaudax1045
      @xiphactinusaudax1045 Před 3 lety +19

      @@masterofadapting Oh. Your reply made it seem like he was just doing it to annoy him, which may be true as well

  • @shinowantstodie1907
    @shinowantstodie1907 Před 4 lety +59

    I had a friend that got rejected . He said I " I have feelings for you she says "I'm sorry for your loss"

  • @greygoose8803
    @greygoose8803 Před 3 lety +22

    the britton rose doll thing takes me back holy shit. i was in a facebook group dedicated to observing and studying the batshit doll roleplay community.

    • @ori8107
      @ori8107 Před 2 lety +10

      Wtf you're telling me that this never was a real kid?

    • @Omnibushido-
      @Omnibushido- Před rokem +2

      I’ve been trying to figure out for years why that was sad cringe. It’s a fucking doll? And they roleplay with it? Is it just pretending to be his parent or something? Was it all satire or were they for real? I have so many questions.

    • @jorgito93700
      @jorgito93700 Před 29 dny

      ​@@Omnibushido-basically yeah, these are very realistic baby dolls, some people that have these have them because they're grieving the loss of an actual child, and some roleplay as if the doll was an actual baby. I think I read this specific person just did these pics for fun and wasn't like that irl but some of them genuinely are.

  • @JeanMarceaux
    @JeanMarceaux Před 4 lety +2561

    Truly a man with iq 3 points short of a genius.
    He didn't fall for the "you can't who" shtick.

    • @JeanMarceaux
      @JeanMarceaux Před 4 lety +13

      @Vapor 3 Points Short of Genius man: *exists*
      W*men: *Terry Crews Odor Blocker commercial*

    • @theguythatasked6400
      @theguythatasked6400 Před 4 lety +49

      Nah, he has to be at least a genius

    • @UrPPhard
      @UrPPhard Před 3 lety +55

      @Minwon Jang or he knows that? It's pretty popular and unfunny "joke"

    • @Dnznxbebwushdn
      @Dnznxbebwushdn Před 3 lety +31

      @@xcmledder3420 in fairness, he was basically calling himself a genius, thats a sign you arent very smart. So I wouldn't put it above him to be genuinely that stupid. It's little signs like that that show he wasn't just doing his best to frustrate her.

    • @SashedPotato
      @SashedPotato Před 3 lety +6

      More like iq 3 points.

  • @annablue8429
    @annablue8429 Před 5 lety +744

    11:20 “Give him a minute, he’s dying.” but the subtitles read “Give him a minute, He’s fine.” Lmao

    • @tyler89557
      @tyler89557 Před 4 lety +31

      Confuse the deaf ones.

    • @wolverineftw
      @wolverineftw Před 4 lety +16

      I’m 14 and this is deep

    • @EliF-kk2in
      @EliF-kk2in Před 4 lety

      It kinda makes sense, y'know? Like, "he'll get over it. He's fine."

  • @GeorgeTsiros
    @GeorgeTsiros Před rokem +12

    5:43 every time, without fail, that wors*eeee* , sends me

  • @CsSniper23
    @CsSniper23 Před 3 lety +75

    That Soldier 76 cosplay looks like he’s about to say: “OwO it appears you have entered my vision M’lady

  • @fletaun
    @fletaun Před 5 lety +1667

    the bloke who cant make knock knock joke properly make me absolutely livid

    • @krimverse5903
      @krimverse5903 Před 5 lety +46

      @Dominick Poole Let's make it more British then, we'll send him to Australia with the rest of the convicts on a death sentence.

    • @erniegang8127
      @erniegang8127 Před 5 lety +40

      Fle Taun I’m fairly certain the man was trolling

    • @henryjohnston6452
      @henryjohnston6452 Před 5 lety +5

      Krimverse
      We don’t want him

    • @fletaun
      @fletaun Před 5 lety +18

      @@erniegang8127 i know and that make it worse. he probably a good fellow with a proper job but god hes sound like arsehole

    • @depotagents
      @depotagents Před 5 lety +3

      @@erniegang8127 No, horny men just talk like that lol

  • @FollowerofDuck
    @FollowerofDuck Před 5 lety +738

    The G in LGBTQ stands for gamers

  • @AaronKaiMCDNLD
    @AaronKaiMCDNLD Před 3 lety +269

    George: *coughs really badly*
    David: "Give him a minute, he's dying."
    Jack: "He's just allergic to virgin."
    Charlie: "Give him a Peppermint."
    Charlie is the only one concerned lmfao.

  • @Jack-pe4we
    @Jack-pe4we Před 3 lety +29

    One of my friends' mums is named Fanny and she's so sweet so everytime I hear "touch Fanny" I go NOO

  • @racoonattackof
    @racoonattackof Před 4 lety +1957

    The knock knock joke guy made ME angry, I can't imagine how frustrated that person must've been.

    • @ScotchTapeMafia
      @ScotchTapeMafia Před 4 lety +138

      AL Agreed. If the guy is really that bad then just block him. But she put herself through all of it just so she can screenshot the results for internet points.

    • @bajula4444
      @bajula4444 Před 4 lety +268

      The joke got stale over the entire conversation, but the guy cleverly evaded it with some of the best trolling I've seen. Kudos to him

    • @jgroth3906
      @jgroth3906 Před 4 lety +56

      Good she deserves it for her lame joke.

    • @dawidek4267
      @dawidek4267 Před 3 lety +36

      I couldn't agree more @@jgroth3906. That joke isn't even a joke, it is just knocking and then when someone asks who's there you block them

    • @arrowsinsilk
      @arrowsinsilk Před 3 lety +34

      Jgroth i mean the guy was being creepy and gross he deserved it

  • @somebodyNobody5112
    @somebodyNobody5112 Před 4 lety +2307

    When are we gonna get “touch fanny” merch?

  • @R4ttlehead666
    @R4ttlehead666 Před 4 lety +36

    We Need “Dey Chips Ahoy Mama” Merch If Soothouse Comes Back

  • @mckinley6960
    @mckinley6960 Před 2 lety +4

    *Femails* is one of the funniest things I've ever seen someone say on the internet.
    It's sounds like a Nice guy's fever dream where someone keeps delivering females to him.
    hence, *Femails*

  • @YoutubePizzer
    @YoutubePizzer Před 4 lety +935

    8:15 plot twist: red knew what was happening and was intentionally avoiding getting blocked

  • @acdenton5726
    @acdenton5726 Před 5 lety +806

    YOu missed t he best part about the escape room post.
    The comment saying "every room is an escape room with this guy"

    • @incog0956
      @incog0956 Před 4 lety +20

      He couldn't have been real. I can't believe people like that exist

    • @brianna7705
      @brianna7705 Před 4 lety +39

      Oh-ho, dear Coco. Not so long ago, there was an entire community of… interesting characters on Reddit. You can still find them on a mockery sub, r/inceltears. If you have too much faith in humanity, I recommend stopping there. It’ll drain all hope for the human race right out of your soul.

    • @incog0956
      @incog0956 Před 4 lety +12

      @@brianna7705 but how do they exist? How can you be normal(pretend to be) and have a normal job but at the same time be creepy like that. It's just mind blowing

    • @brianna7705
      @brianna7705 Před 4 lety +31

      Most of them don’t pretend. They’re the types you see on r/NiceGuys as well, the kinds of people who have so much repressed anger and hatred and lust that they just lash out at anyone and everyone. They complain and whine and are generally pathetic.
      …People suck in general, really. We all have an incel inside us (metaphorically). We just keep it way more controlled.

    • @benney9908
      @benney9908 Před 4 lety +15

      That guy was just Kira

  • @MagyarGaben
    @MagyarGaben Před 3 lety +45

    George: **dies coughing**
    Narrator of 2020: *"But what George didn't know..."*

  • @DrPumpkinz
    @DrPumpkinz Před 3 lety +8

    10:51 Right after the second "do you care about him" I got a TikTok ad that started with "I don't care".

  • @rowbodies
    @rowbodies Před 5 lety +764

    touch fanny needs to be another wave of merch

  • @gunby9322
    @gunby9322 Před 4 lety +796

    knock knock
    who’s there?
    you can’t
    you can’t who?
    you can’t get a goddamn joke can you?

  • @bobgunjoe2577
    @bobgunjoe2577 Před 3 lety +18

    Nobody:
    Soothouse: leaves 5 years of someone coughing unedited

  • @Connection_Error-px7bn
    @Connection_Error-px7bn Před 3 lety +11

    1:29 "Britain, what are you doing?" *"just filling my museums with artifacts that aren't mine"*

  • @Simon-bx9py
    @Simon-bx9py Před 5 lety +387

    11:20
    „Give him a minute he‘s dying“
    „Give him a minute he‘s fine“

    • @alexeysaranchev6118
      @alexeysaranchev6118 Před 5 lety +2

      I honestly don't see any contradiction.
      _Linkin Park playing in the background_

  • @kropotkinnie
    @kropotkinnie Před 5 lety +296

    hey there youtube, i love how you can show me a 30 second long ad without any buffer on my nice, fast internet, but you proceed to buffer every few seconds on the actual video and lower its resolution as much as possible, and when i try to reload you show me the perfectly fine ad again
    because that's definitely not suspiciously biased

    • @Shademastermcc
      @Shademastermcc Před 5 lety +22

      I want to like this, but I've never had ads or buffering issues so it might be you mate.

    • @beembamb
      @beembamb Před 4 lety +5

      @@Shademastermccnah I've had it too, I just assumed it was CZcams's normal bullshit

    • @killerkitten7534
      @killerkitten7534 Před 4 lety +3

      I have the opposite, for some reason my ads constantly buffer, and it’s always on the ones where you have to watch a certain amount to skip.
      The actual video works fine!

    • @MasterPodi
      @MasterPodi Před 2 lety

      Let me tell you fine gents about this wonderful resource called “ad block”

    • @mevicky100
      @mevicky100 Před 2 lety

      @@MasterPodi adblock doesn’t work on the CZcams app

  • @jadenbates7561
    @jadenbates7561 Před 4 lety +19

    It took me a whole year to realise Britton was a doll

  • @coolfool6924
    @coolfool6924 Před 2 lety +17

    3:52 Italian man goes to see doctor about his erectile dysfunction

  • @JeevesAnthrozaurUS
    @JeevesAnthrozaurUS Před 5 lety +1245

    "We brought a baby into the world because we thought we would be good parents and raise a good child."
    *"Yeah, we had a baby because I got 1 million likes on Facebook"*

    • @chadschmaltz9790
      @chadschmaltz9790 Před 5 lety +66

      Everything about that guy's post is really weird. He is trying to use social media as leverage to get his wife to even discuss the idea of children, which is something a couple should address privately and decide together.

    • @chadschmaltz9790
      @chadschmaltz9790 Před 5 lety +7

      @@alexeysaranchev6118 I can see that as a possibility and if that's the case then his answer to the challenge was very poor.

    • @maggiee639
      @maggiee639 Před 5 lety +1

      I need a follow up to that dude. It’s one of the cringest things I’ve ever seen

  • @dekelyosifon
    @dekelyosifon Před 4 lety +466

    ‘Did an escape room with all of my *femail* coworkers’
    Keep us *posted.*

  • @Bifocalproductions
    @Bifocalproductions Před 4 lety +10

    5:19 no the apology isnt the worst one someone said yes and then cheated on me becaise "they never really liked me" she just said "i didnt want to hurt your feelings"

  • @rockingbeat
    @rockingbeat Před 3 lety +9

    The person refusing to say "you can't who" knew what they were doing

  • @GermaphobeMusic
    @GermaphobeMusic Před 5 lety +306

    when you hittin' it from behind and she tells you to hoover the house

  • @testsubject8903
    @testsubject8903 Před 5 lety +793

    "My I.Q is 3 points less than genius level"
    More like 3 standard deviations below the mean.

    • @winterbliss4459
      @winterbliss4459 Před 5 lety +59

      Testsubject *3 orders of magnitude below the mean

    • @howdypardner6278
      @howdypardner6278 Před 5 lety +25

      *3 below zero

    • @mrbobtehbuildah
      @mrbobtehbuildah Před 5 lety +5

      Assuming a normal distrubution of IQ scores, that means he's in the lower 0.5% iirc

    • @alexthibodeau979
      @alexthibodeau979 Před 5 lety +24

      Just took my statistics final today and I appreciate that joke

    • @testsubject8903
      @testsubject8903 Před 5 lety +5

      @@alexthibodeau979 Ah man, hope it went well.

  • @fairy5668
    @fairy5668 Před 4 lety +27

    6:02 I think I've seen this dude in a YT comments section and his pfp is him wearing a fedora

    • @confusedaf1112
      @confusedaf1112 Před 3 lety +3

      That dude is a meme to anyone who follows weirdos like him
      It probably wasn't him but someone making fun of him

  • @samuelsimi
    @samuelsimi Před 3 lety +54

    “Don’t worry , he’s dying...”
    Subs: Don’t worry , he’s fine.

    • @samuelsimi
      @samuelsimi Před 3 lety

      I mean subs as subtitles not subscribers

  • @camatzuma
    @camatzuma Před 5 lety +589

    Just wanted to point out *NEW MARBLE TEXTURE* YEEEAAAHHHH!!!

    • @barryallencoffee
      @barryallencoffee Před 5 lety +41

      Yeah and this one doesnt have a penis shape I have to look at

    • @apexalex7240
      @apexalex7240 Před 5 lety +9

      Noob Gamer I thought I was the only one who noticed lol

    • @willow5437
      @willow5437 Před 5 lety

      YESSSS

    • @bjark2943
      @bjark2943 Před 5 lety +1

      i miss the one with the shocked frog

    • @4ghzgaming664
      @4ghzgaming664 Před 5 lety +1

      I realy hope that some day they upgrade to an pbr

  • @NellieCollier
    @NellieCollier Před 5 lety +445

    David: Give im a minute he’s dyin’
    Text: _he’s fine_

    • @peppermink2200
      @peppermink2200 Před 5 lety +3

      Nellie Collier damn, I'm hard of hearing, did he say dying? That makes it better

    • @vivienne1349
      @vivienne1349 Před 5 lety +2

      Priality Yeah, he said "dying" xD

  • @rilla5058
    @rilla5058 Před 2 lety +3

    I think that guy didn't get the joke at first and then just decided to run with it and troll the person instead of admitting it. No one can not get a knock knock joke after that many times.

  • @tcg1_qc
    @tcg1_qc Před 3 lety +15

    3:06 this dude is a mad lad

  • @SteveEchelonanon
    @SteveEchelonanon Před 5 lety +2452

    The guy who "didn't get" the knock knock joke totally knows how they work. He just wasn't giving her the satisfaction of blocking him. Outstanding.

    • @scarletstarlet773
      @scarletstarlet773 Před 5 lety +282

      and also creepy

    • @scarletstarlet773
      @scarletstarlet773 Před 5 lety +57

      And also creepy

    • @SteveEchelonanon
      @SteveEchelonanon Před 5 lety +527

      @@scarletstarlet773 I'm sure it happened in the end. He just knew if he said "You can't who" he'd be staring at the "You can't send messages to this user." He knew it was coming. He's hardly going to walk straight into it. Instead he trolled her to the point of rage. Well played.

    • @alexeysaranchev6118
      @alexeysaranchev6118 Před 5 lety +294

      @@SteveEchelonanon He should have blocked her preemptively after she first said "JUST SAY YOU CAN'T WHO". Would be funnier IMO.

    • @noahfenech8196
      @noahfenech8196 Před 5 lety +18

      @@alexeysaranchev6118 Fair

  • @TurbopropPuppy
    @TurbopropPuppy Před 5 lety +694

    "Sad Cringe"
    back in my day we called it pity

  • @-inFinity05-
    @-inFinity05- Před 8 měsíci +3

    5:40 This one isn’t sad as much as painful. I can imagine looking back on this year later…

  • @omnimonium
    @omnimonium Před rokem +3

    i can't get "dey chips ahoy, mama" out of my head. today i went shopping for oreos and saw the chips ahoy and said "dey chips ahoy, mama" out loud, in front of other people

  • @beachballssideaccount
    @beachballssideaccount Před 5 lety +433

    Matt is ascending beyond the sooty chimneys of SootHouse.

    • @nunkatsu
      @nunkatsu Před 5 lety +8

      RT game can win over him though

  • @lukebegbie8811
    @lukebegbie8811 Před 5 lety +450

    that knock knock joke one actually made me furious.

    • @bruhSaintJohn
      @bruhSaintJohn Před 5 lety +91

      luke begbie wow, not only he managed to trigger the person chatting with him he also triggered some viewers too! If this was intentional - it's a textbook example of an excellent trolling

    • @TheLittleRussian2
      @TheLittleRussian2 Před 4 lety +74

      I thought it was pathetic how hard she was trying to get him to play along. Took all the bite out of the joke.

    • @astrowiz3544
      @astrowiz3544 Před 4 lety +55

      He was clearly trolling lol

    • @KennyLastname
      @KennyLastname Před 4 lety +3

      Same

    • @lciav
      @lciav Před 4 lety +13

      I thought his “obliviousness” was hilarious. But it made me cringe was how hard she tried to pull off the joke

  • @brittonsings3243
    @brittonsings3243 Před 3 lety +10

    0:56 bruh that’s my frickin name. I wasn’t paying attention and I just heard that and it scared the shit out of me.

  • @LivingAsAGhost
    @LivingAsAGhost Před 4 lety +3

    THE PART WITH THAT PERSON JUST TRYONG TO EXPLAIN TO THE OTHER PERSON HOW A KNOCK KNOCK JOKE WORKS FUCKKKKKK
    Wilbur did such a good job reading out the lines. Like I FELT the frustration man.
    Conspiracy thsory: the dude (assuming it was a dude) on the other end knew the joke would end with him getting blocked so he just kept going around it so the joke would never end

    • @fromage77
      @fromage77 Před 4 lety

      The guy definitely knew he was being setup for rejection and trolled the shit out of the girl. Pretty masterfully to be honest

  • @nicholasmckie1435
    @nicholasmckie1435 Před 5 lety +934

    *Petition for “Touch Fanny” merch who’s with me?*

  • @TailsIsDisappointed
    @TailsIsDisappointed Před 5 lety +1173

    If my life doesn't exist then how can we talk about it?

  • @chezcake256
    @chezcake256 Před 4 lety +13

    0:05 ok it’s just the intro
    wait
    *wait*
    *_matt_*
    *_MATT WHERE ARE YOU GOING_*

  • @BenDover-it3qt
    @BenDover-it3qt Před rokem +2

    ‘Dey chips ahoy mama’ may be my favourite SootHouse line of all time.

  • @callingthevoid
    @callingthevoid Před 5 lety +271

    I used to have a handmade sign over my bed that said, "Noobs have luck; pros have skill." This video triggered some memories of that...

    • @meshifuari4882
      @meshifuari4882 Před 5 lety +14

      Big oof chief but I used to follow deep quote pages on FB now that's the epidemy of being an incel

    • @brody2k
      @brody2k Před 5 lety +7

      But did you ever own decorative swords? Because I do. I mean did.
      Btw good luck checking my browser history, I regularly BLAST my cache.

    • @callingthevoid
      @callingthevoid Před 5 lety +3

      @@brody2k n a n i ?

    • @siukong
      @siukong Před 5 lety +3

      @@meshifuari4882 epitome

    • @cynister7384
      @cynister7384 Před 5 lety +1

      Is that Chloe?

  • @cadebowman4582
    @cadebowman4582 Před 5 lety +148

    *_Dey chips ahoy mummy_*
    You cant deny him the *chips ahoy*

  • @Mad_West
    @Mad_West Před 3 lety +11

    5:14
    "I'm so sorry, I'm dry"

  • @Heretic_Jones
    @Heretic_Jones Před 3 lety +4

    I’ve literally seen that post of the ‘escape room’ guy before, and there’s a comment on that post that just goes:
    “Any room becomes an escape room with him”

  • @immigrant4556
    @immigrant4556 Před 5 lety +768

    When you fall into lava with a stack of diamonds
    *_real sad boi hours_*

  • @vintryx
    @vintryx Před 4 lety +1404

    Is nobody gonna talk about how *SHE DIED*

  • @_Foxal_
    @_Foxal_ Před 5 měsíci +3

    I just randomly remembered the "Hand Job and put away", and now I'm binging this entire Channel, help

  • @Pear_chan
    @Pear_chan Před 5 lety +2832

    "my iq is 3 points below genius level".
    Right, so a normal iq then?
    Edit: who knew a joke about iq would lead to so much R/iamverysmart content in the replies

    • @antimatter4733
      @antimatter4733 Před 5 lety +112

      I think that falls into above average intelligence or something?

    • @Pear_chan
      @Pear_chan Před 5 lety +219

      @@antimatter4733 I can't help but feel if you're not either a genius or an absolute idiot, you're just part of a broad average. Whether that be smarter than average, or below average, it's still the middle ground of it all.

    • @dismasthepenitent569
      @dismasthepenitent569 Před 5 lety +173

      3 points below genius is still way above average, you'd know that if your iq was as high as mine you smooth brained trog
      joke

    • @-__
      @-__ Před 5 lety +107

      @@dismasthepenitent569 sorry what is a joke? I don't believe in jokes and I always get some idiot who says r/woooooosh everytime I do a simple task such as breathe plz help

    • @TheArnoldification
      @TheArnoldification Před 5 lety +92

      @@-__ step 1: become an ultra normie
      step 2: browse reddit. I don't mean any of the actually good subreddits but you unironically laugh at r/funny kind of redditor
      step 3: r/woooosh lel XD my girlfriend beats me mercilessly

  • @GreyPetro
    @GreyPetro Před 4 lety +414

    "We don't normally give Charlie long ones (to read)"
    NO, NO MATTER HOW MUCH CONTEXT YOU GIVE ME I AM TAKING THAT OUT OF CONTEXT

  • @chrisimnotreallyhere3491
    @chrisimnotreallyhere3491 Před 8 měsíci +2

    2:02 its a sad relationship when you have to work to get the simplest form of love from your significant other...

  • @Jeneration.x
    @Jeneration.x Před 4 lety +12

    6:13 looks like Lucas Werner. "Ask me about my amazing cosplays on Cute Older Daddy FAQ. If you don't, you're a bigot. Also pay $5"

  • @dirkstrider657
    @dirkstrider657 Před 4 lety +577

    6:52 Say what you will about tumblr...but
    "hey I like your shoelaces"
    "thanks I stole them from the president"
    is less painful than
    "When does the Narhwal Bacon XD"