my alien sex audiobook played at work (w/ Avital Ash) | Perfect Person Ep. 97
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- čas přidán 14. 05. 2024
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PERFECT PERSON
A flawless call-in advice show in which Miles Bonsignore answers your calls, solves your problems, and helps you achieve perfection.
MILES BONSIGNORE
Miles is an internet creator, comedian, and podcast producer, known for his work at The Try Guys, on The TryPod, as a commentator on Pretty Much It, and for being real cool
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I think that the caller whos getting married should fake a prenup and ask her dad if he's leaving her any money (and how much he's leaving her) to specifiy in the prenup deal. Especially if he's more of a narcissistic person, then it's not you vs him, its you and him vs husand
Everybody needs to like this comment to get it to the top. This is such good advice.
That is SUCH a good idea for real though
Then the husband will get the brunt of his narcissism. Naur, not the best idea.
"Should we give you new names that are nice?
Spineless: "No, that's ok, it works for me"
I absolutely died 😂😂
I cant believe y'all blatantly disrespected Koko the gorilla like that 💀
i looked her up and i’m obsessed with her now
literally put some respect on my girl koko
I was freaking out on my drive to work. How DARE Miles not know Koko
and worrying about people saying she's not "real" or legit when she died in 2018 :(
miles got so many details wrong about koko the gorilla that i genuinely thought he was talking about a new baboon that spoke english that he saw on tiktok or s.t
i love that Miles liked this comment. he was all "mhm absolutely 💕"
What's s.t?
@@chickenmanman shorthand for something
@@kateryan7076 Why did I think you were just saying "It's shorthand for ~something~" and not that its shorthand for the word "something" like yeah we know its shorthand for something but what does it stand for lmao
“Do you know about the Dolphin” was all Miles had to say for me to know EXACTLY what he was talking about
Yeah, I feel like he didn't need to traumatize everyone else 😂 it's one of those things I heard that I actively try to supress
Lmao the coffee pour heat transfer is exactly how my Ethiopian aunts cool off their traditional coffee until it’s EXACTLY the right temp so Miles you are following in the well treaded path of coffee experts
Miles getting the Huggies sponsor? Huge
Julian’s pulling out the big bucks
yeah did you hear him tell us how leak proof they are? 👀
them: I hope the dolphin's ok
voice from arrested development: the dolphin was not, in fact, ok
I actually cackled
I saw alien sex audiobook and I’ve never clicked play so fast.
peter the dolphin killed himself :( devastating
WHAT???
Oh
It’s cause no one was there to jork his peenus anymore
Yep, almost immediately after the woman was separated from him
Damn bro missed his hand job that much
As someone who utilizes trigger warnings, that quick casual trigger warning pause at the very end of the episode was SWAG.
Miles that was the most efficient trigger warning ever. It was RIGHT before you talked about it and for exactly in the flow and mindset of the conversation. Swagatronic 5000
everytime miles closes the show with “if you’ve got a problem” i think he’s gonna say “yo ill solve it” like vanilla ice💀💀
me at work, before i click on the perfect person episode: lonely, a shell of a human, surrounded by ppl who misunderstand me 😪
me after i click on the perfect person episode: thriving, amongst my people, remembering the purpose of existence and life
PSA: If snot grosses you out, skip the first call from 15:23 - 33:15
Thank you!
Bless your soul, I almost left the episode cause it freaks me out so bad lol
Yeah I had to skip that one 😬 even clicking thru and hearing snippets was far too much for me
BLESS TY
@@jordbanana Same 😅 but also I love Perfect Person so wanted to not miss all the rest of it 🖤
Best GetReal segment yet… I literally wrote down the quote about if you’re missing someone you’re experiencing the ghost of them ❤❤❤
Dolphin lady got in trouble bc of moral issues and animal abuse for the sexual stuff. The dolphin killed itself bc they were no longer allowed to be together and couldnt be with dolphins as it only cared for the lady
Ice Planet Barbarians is so unhinged. I am so sorry caller 3. Also there are over 20 books total. Perfect Person book club?
Please tell me that the Audiobook was Planet Ice Barbarians because the girlies are EATING that up.
Immediately added to my list
Ice Planet Barbarians is ridiculous in concept but it’s so incredibly fun to read 😂 50:34
On the Alien story, when you told her to look down the barrel of the gun I laughed out loud because I thought Miles was telling her the only option was to off herself. I was flabbergasted
Miles the try guys literally did an entire video at gentle barn lol
All I can hear in my head is Miles counting to three like a dolphin!
Highly recommend Avital's stand up if you have a chance to see it! Saw her last night in London and it was incredible
Avital was a great guest. I really enjoyed the “Get Real” conversation at the end.
Avital’s Logan Roy shirt goes so hard
The animal cold open is a fever dream for sure
I feel like Glorbin needs to be validated 😂 I too listen to smut at work - now granted, mine is human, but regardless. I listen to smut and am frequently scared out of my skin when someone comes to ask me a question. I would lean in, I would laugh so hard if someone heard the wild stuff I listen to 😂
this might be my friend bc it sounds EXACTLY like her & this is most definitely something that would happen to her. i thought it was her before she mentioned where she worked. 😂
Note to self: do not eat lunch during perfect person. 😂
i saw this title and i KNEW it was ice planet barbarians 😂 good for her!
I need more Sarah Bonsignore on this show 🤔
Seconded!
I can't wait for the 100th episode, congrats dude we love you
As soon as I saw alien sex audiobook I KNEW it was Ice Planet Barbarians 😂
The secondhand embarrassment I have for Glorbin is out of this world…pun intended 😅
the sign language gorilla's name was Koko!!
Amazing episode, Avital was an awesome guest! Hope to see her again on the show
For anyone else who cannot listen to the first story due to the subject 🤢 it ends at 33:17
re: the get real segment too- i absolutely think there's an afterlife! I had dreams that my grandfather came to say goodbye on his way out (he passed away that night and I had attempted a visit, but i was too young/not knowing what was going on and it ended up traumatic). It gave me the peace I needed and that last visit with grandpa who was cohesive. I've also had other passed on relatives come to visit me. It's at the point where when I dream a bout a relative, I always need to have my mom low-key check on whether or not that relative is OK.
This episode is giving me an existential crisis! My dad is also an airline pilot! I got detention in high school because we had someone from an insurance company come and talk to our class, they started talking about health insurance and life insurance. I started asking a line of questions trying to see essentially how much I would get in life insurance if my dad died, and my teacher got pissed and gave me detention! 🫣😂😂😂 Solidarity girl! We need a support group for daughters of airline pilots!! I ended up working at private airports as a concierge, of course my dad pushed me to do this, and boy do I fucking hate pilots! 😂😂😂
Pilots are literally just the truck/big rig drivers of the dang sky!!!! Same exact type of men 👀👀👀
My dad's little brother is a gas tanker driver!!!!!!! STOP ITTTTTT!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 @@xCAEGx
You got detention because you were being to curious?
ive been watching like two year old episodes in between episodes to entertain myself because this is my primary source of entertainment and this morning I played four whole episodes while packing before this one even came out!!!
Loved this episode!! Especially the talk at the end!
5:56 hi yeah that gorilla actually doesn’t know sign language. sorry to take this little bit of joy away from you, but there’s a podcast (not to promote another show) called “you’re wrong about” and they have an episode on spotify called “koko the gorilla” that debunks this
read the title passively and didn’t click, read the title aggressively, epic big click moment
11:10 is when the dolphin part is over.
Knew it was gonna be Ice Planet Barbarians the second I saw the title
why does every caller sound the same lmao
i feel like the majority of the audience is white college girls loll
avital was such a great guest! and loved the variety of calls in this ep too. fun ep
We neeedd judge miles
I remember when the original avatar came out and I watched it in theaters and my mind was absolutely blown.
"the dolphin" his NAME WAS PETER. may he rest in peace
Once again we have three calls from the exact same person. 🤣
Blambo the baboon was actually a gorilla named Koko who was "taught" sign language. She couldn't actually speak sign language, all she did was make the movements she knew would make the scientists give her grapes
you conspiracy nutbags are everywhere these days 😂 shaddup
Best day of the week!
I’m going to need to know where your sweater is from, Miles. It’s simply too good
Pleeeeeeeease do judge Judy id watch that every day
this post notification just as I got freakin' zooted is proof god is real
omg the poet laureate herself
I totally understand what Avital was saying about confusing dream with life. I had such a vivid dream years ago about house and pet-sitting for a neighbor, that was so normal and familiar and real that to this day it feels like an actual memory, when it never happened, I was living in another town completely and the neighbor had been dead for years. Dreams and what the brain does with them will always be wild to me.
i would absolutely love that judge judy type show miles 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I forgot it was Wednesday I love you Miles!
Woooo a huggies sponsor?! Way to goooo
I cannot believe that Ice Planet Barbarians is being discussed on Perfect Person! 😂😂😂
I shall say, however, that this is not the worst thing that she could have played to her coworker 😏
I am such a baby but I cannot handle snot I had to skip the first caller, I was gagging
Miles you should go to a busy park or something and just set up a table with a sign offering free advice
I like Miles’s ensemble in this episode.
Im so disappointed in myself that i knew EXACTLY which book yall were refering to the minute i read the episode title
i definitely relate to the nightmares being tiring and waking up feeling like you didn’t sleep at all. I rarely dream but i have an occasional reoccurring one that isnt very scary but it persists of me walking through my old hometown endlessly; i think im trying to get to where i used to live but i never arrive and the neighborhoods dont connect right. It’s by no means a proper Scary Tee Em nightmare but every time it happens i wake up feeling like i actually walked all night
It was comforting hear about you too having weird vivid dreams cuz same
second caller sounds so sweet, i hope it all works out for her!!
And now I need to re-read Ice Planet Barbarians 😂
Also Miles that idea around the sophomore is kind of similar to a book called Pure Colour in which the concept is basically we’re living in the first draft of the world, which is fascinating. The book itself is very weird but very thought provoking.
this is now the second time audio erotica has been discussed on this podcast
Thank you for the trigger warnings Miles. That was very nice and kind of you. ❤
I was waiting for you to call the first caller Snot Me the whole time
....so they also gave the dolphin acid or lsd. And the researchers also took the same thing...and then when the research was over Peter the dolphin was distraught that he couldn't see the scientist anymore that he drowned himself
There's a drunk history episode about the dolphin experiment and it's f*cking hilarious😂
omg I fuckin knew it was gonna be ice planet when I saw the title lmaoooo
as a geographer who also worked at a good zoo this is probably my favourite episode ever
I’ve had premonitions regarding the death of several people and animals in my life, and it has become pretty anxiety inducing at this point.
In high-school, I had a dream that I was in my backyard with my deceased grandfather and childhood dog and I kept wondering where my other living dog was because I couldn’t see him. I didn’t really think anything of it at the time but the next night, my other dog had passed away in the backyard unexpectedly (he was old but it was still shocking). It still devastated me and ate at me but when I remembered that dream it sort of felt like my grandfather and dog were telling me that it was my other dog’s time. It didn’t erase my heartbreak but sort of made me feel like it was out of my control which can be unnerving to some and easing to others! I’d rather side on the thought of easing.
34:04 Rainie as the bailiff plzthx.
I have more dreams about pets who've passed than people, one being I could see our dog but the rest of my family couldn't, so I was telling them "she's licking you hand," or "she's sitting on your right~"
The one I had about my dad was more, like, my subconscious finding a nicer way to explain why he was "gone," which seems dumb since it happened when I was 15 lol? (I dreamt I let him out of jail.) Either way, his personality in my dream was so different than how I knew him alive, so maybe in a way it WAS him, telling me he is genuinely happier wherever he is. ❤
What a title… 😂
Miles, write your dreams by hand so that you dont have to look, you should be staying barely awake. As you do this, it will make you start falling back to sleep
Hahahaha! I wonder what they would think about Ruby Dixon’s Fire series…
God I just wanted him to say jelly. Why did he say ham?! 😩
Oh hell yeah
When is the right time to call into the pod?
Get that Huggies BAG
47:00 I have a sort of similar story lol, sometime last year I was listening to a podcast that gives like (romantic) relationship advice, and kink positivity/exploration advice. I had my phone connected to a speaker inside cause I was playing music on CZcams, and I had stepped outside to take a phone call. So when the call ended, for some reason it switched to Spotify and the podcast started playing on its own. I think they were interviewing someone who was ABDL cause I walked back inside and I distinctly remember hearing the words “hypnotherapy” and “diapers” and i was like holy shit and paused it 😳 but my coworker was inside and idk how much he heard. He never mentioned it though so neither did I 😅
31:32 Anyone else reminded of the Steven Lim story in which he took his roommates' clothes out of the washer and pissed on them in anger? (First ep. of the Here's What You Do podcast) I still think about that a lot... 🤔
Whaaa? Did he really do that? That's messed up if real 😅
@@TM.BECK14 Yup! Voluntarily told the story himself on their old Here's What You Do podcast. It's quite something...!
The people criticizing that researcher....have they ever been to Texas A&M University? They might want to take a peek at the practices of the dairy and beef industry if they think the dolphin was violated.
Is the wedding person calling in about MY dad? Girl…We need to talk.
GREASE COURT.
Mediator Miles. Trademark it
couldn't she just give the dolphin a treat!?!
I love ghost talk!
Had a dream of my uncle he passed when I was ten years old. Left 3 kids ages from 5-11.
So pretty much him and his wife passed away together.. the mother’s family kept us away from my cousins. So they grew up hearing trash about my uncle. Which upset me when I was older because the uncle I remember wasn’t that guy. Which I had a dream about him saying. “Forgive them. They don’t know.”
I met koko the gorilla and she is very much real and she told me she liked my hair
You got Ash??? HUGE get
Miles, I have a dream journal that is over 40 pages long. You wanna talk about dreams? Lmao