Movie Plots That Only Work If Everybody Is An Idiot | YBOC (Elf, Twilight)
Vložit
- čas přidán 8. 06. 2024
- Have you ever wondered about the relationship between Santa and parents in Christmas movies? Ever been curious as to why nobody has asked Edward Cullen why he’s retaken 12th grade seven times? Ever thought you could kick Arnold Schwarzenegger’s improbably sculpted ‘80s butt? Well, alleged “Doctor” Jordan Breeding certainly has, and he’s here to take a look at recurring movie plots only possible if everybody in the movie failed to graduate third grade. Which he definitely will soon.
Inspired By These Cracked.com Articles:
www.cracked.com/article_24729... www.cracked.com/article_25647...
Writer: Jordan Breeding
Director of Photography: Caleb Gritsko
Editors: Andy Sowar, Jordan Breeding, Caleb Gritsko
Special Thanks: Devin Byam
Jordan's CZcams Channel: / @drjordanbreeding
Caleb's Instagram: / calebgritsko_dp
See more www.cracked.com
LIKE us on: / cracked
FOLLOW us on: / cracked
00:00 - Intro
01:25 - Parents In Santa Movies Are Negligent
04:12 - Stop Flying Between Monsters' Legs
06:21 - We Should Take Strong Men More Seriously
09:09 - Sexy Teen Vampires Can't Keep It Up Forever
#twilight #santa #terminator - Komedie
So we gon just ignore the fact this was a dead channel for like a year?
Years*
Yes
Apparently so
Yup
So far from the comments I read. No. No we are not.
The surprising thing here isn't that Cracked is back after a year hiatus, it's the fact that we're all still subscribed to see a resurgence.
I'm not subscribed but i looked up cracked to watch after hours again yesterday. Looked it up today and couldn't believe a new video was unloaded. Takes me back to 2018
I just forgot to unsubscribe after People Watching. Good for me, I guess?
There's no real reason to unsubscribe from a dead channel. If it has no new videos, it doesn't come up on my feed, so it would take more effort than just forgetting about it.
It's not that deep y'all. 😂
Hope springs eternal.
I wonder: did Jordan just come across an old scrap of paper with the Cracked CZcams channel login written on it?
I'm very ok with that scenario
Ha ha very possible
I literally have zero access to the channel haha
@@Drjordanbreeding How much for the teleporting yellow stethoscope? 3:45
JigawattMusic it’s my wife’s haha. She needs it for work.
Fun fact: the people who run Cracked now are not the same people who fired all the funny people. Let's see if these new people can make it happen again!
Professor Farnsworth: Yes? I see.
[hangs up phone]
Professor Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! Those asinine morons who canceled us were themselves fired for incompetence.
[the crew cheers]
Professor Farnsworth: And not just fired, but beaten up, too... and pretty badly.
[the crew cheers doubtfully]
Professor Farnsworth: In fact, most of them died from their injuries.
[the crew remains silent while Bender laughs evilly]
Professor Farnsworth: And then they were ground up into a fine pink powder.
Fry: Why?
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, it's got a million and one uses.
[Takes some Torgo's Powder and sprinkles it in his pants]
Professor Farnsworth: Aw, that soothes the fire.
MCFA-make cracked funny again
Lets hope they bring back afterhours with the original group
I really hope Cracked gets good again, used to watch all the time before some jackoff fired everyone 😤
Happy to hear, I don't want to reward bad behavior with views
"The only show on cracked..."
Good enough for me.
I really enjoyed this line.
Best line 😂
Selah
Proverbs 11:12 He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace./Inspiration+It is easy to lash out at others, as with a "knee-jerk reaction," but it takes wisdom and patience to hold our tongues or "hold our peace." It is not always the right time and place to shout out accusations at others, even when others are in the wrong. And it matters also the manner in which we deal with others as to their faults. /Prayer+ Teach me, Lord, to be patient with others, kind, forgiving, tender-hearted, and meek. When it is right for me to speak out over a wrong done by someone else, help me to do it in the right way. Help me to know when to hold my peace and when to speak out,in the name above all names Jesus Christ, Amen
DOB's response on Twitter to fans defending him by attacking this video:
"The folks who let me and a lot of others go are no longer running Cracked. Don't go after New Management for Old Management decisions.
"I like the show, and I like that creative folks are still making stuff. @The_J_Breeding is funny and talented."
He always was a sweetheart.
He always was a sweetheart.
Sweet and talented. Pop Culture Obsession Disorder was so damn good
But was he always a sweetheart?
thanks for relaying that info
I mean, he's not Jack, DOB or Swaim, but new guy has potential 😂😂
I loved that "only show on cracked" joke
I was all about DOB and Cody Johnston myself.
Cody went solo with his news show and I think DOB is writing for John Oliver now isn't he?
Some More News is one of my favorite CZcams channels. Love my Cody
It seems like he's trying to be a weird mix of all 3
Small beans is making a new after hours?
Swain went and made his own Channel too
he's got one thing going for him, he's not Jack.
aw man, this makes me really miss "Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder" and "After Hours"...
and, y'know... this channel in general.
They're back, in theory!
I just realized this is Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder without D.O.B. 🙁
czcams.com/channels/2lAN0bPx28ju0V2i4BBHvA.html
For sure, D.O.B. will never be outdone so they must use his formats.
i think, maybe, they fired him and they stopped for so long to figure it out
He doesn’t need OPCD anymore, he won an Emmy
@@hrishiv27 Ya Terre you need to use his proper title "Emmy Award winning writer Daniel "Big D" O'Brien"
Who else was shook by cracked uploading again?
Me
I literally couldn't believe it
I didnt know what to expect
I still don't believe it
On my birthday, no less.
"The only show on cracked... "
That sad self aware hilariosity that brings families together.
Who else is shook they are still subscribed to cracked after they disappeared from the platform 2 years ago?
I’m more shook that I had actually looked through the channel no more than a week ago. Almost unsubbed, now I need to wait.
i subbed about the time it ended lol, so i had stuff to watch
I unsubbed Because Science the day Kyle left, and if was subbed to them in the first place, id unsub Screen Rant when Ryan George goes, but thankfully CZcams recommends pitch meetings to me without me having to subscribe.
But yeah for some reason I'm still subbed to Cracked, not sure if I'll keep it or not, will just wait and see, unfortunately Small Beans isn't quite the same and OPCD and after hours and I just can't get into it.
I was actually watching OPCD when this came on. I had to do a triple take when I saw it
It was one of my favourite channels, I just couldn't unsubscribe from it, I always kept hope...
I can't wait to support this guy on patreon after another round of lay-offs
Even More Podcasts?
Holy shit dude lol
DAMN! True.
Different company. Cracked was bought by Literally Media in September. Those layoffs happened back in 2017.
Mether I laugh with a tear running down my face. Fucking brutally true.
I severely misinterpreted the statement “sexy teen vampires can’t keep it up forever”
No you didn't.
Oh, great. I'm not the only one. Not sure if it's good xD
Okay but like... they wouldn’t be able to. They don’t have any blood and without blood flow they can’t... you know... keeping it up
Not enough blood in their veins to keep it up
It’s called a double entendre.
If Daniel trusts you, so do I. Good luck, I'm staying tuned.
CollegeHumor: Loses funding
Cracked: *Anthony Adams rubbing his hands together*
Cool Cracked’s back, now bring back After Hours
Soren works as a writer for American Dad! now and Daniel O'Brien works as a writer for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and is supposed to have said that he's glad not to be on camera anymore.
Edit: Spehlin'.
And opcd
Michael now works for IGN
Only with the original cast
Swaim basically brought it back a while ago on his personal channel Small Beans :)
"Dolphins are returning to Italy, the planet is healing!"
Meanwhile on cracked:
"and the only show on cracked..."*grimace*
Ok. I like you.
Hey, I like you too.
I never really heard why cracked stopped uploading. After watching this, reading comments, and searching the internet, I’m sad for the OG’s, but this could be a new beginning....
Here's to hoping.
Me: is After Hours ever coming back
Cracked: uploads after a year
Me: So you’re telling me there’s a chance
Justin Lawrence go to small beans. Michael brought it back. With old cracked ppl
@@smittycoolmusik Micheal left the show cuz he moved for a new job. So Small Beans is still around but Micheal isn't with them anymore.
@@supersizesenpai Micheal IS still part of Small Beans, but in a smaller (*currently* mostly off-camera) roll.
All or most of them no longer work for cracked
@@michaelswaim817 are there any more plans to do off hours at all?
This is unexpected, now hire the cast back and we'll forget this happened, wondering if we could get Super Deluxe back while were at it.
Yes please!!
Much as I would love that, they are doing bigger and better things where they are at. Cameos would be nice tho
@@wetCHEESE_OG oh ok, I actually dont know what they are doing now.. are they somewhere else on CZcams?
@@mainadahlia2292 kinda? They post audio on youtube but have moved onto podcasts. DOB writes for Last Week Tonight, Soren writes for American Dad, SWAIM is over at IGN & has a podcast network called Small Beans, where a lot of cracked alumni are doing stuff. Tom Reiman and David Crostopher Bell have Gamefully Unemployed, another podcast network.
Also shout out to Robert Evans' podcasts Behind the Bastards and It Could Happen Here. Also DOB and Soren have a podcast together called Quick Question.
This has the FEEL of Cracked, and that's hard to capture. I'll re-sub and stick around if it means the funny new guy gets to keep making his show.
2020 has done a lot wrong, but HALLELUJAH CRACKED IS BACK
Where is that older guy that gave me a tip not to sexually harass talking birds? Nobody knows what will be useful in future... Thanks!
*_NEVER_* unsubscribe from a channel you really liked just because there haven't been any uploads in a long time and because you've heard that there will in all likelihood not be any uploads on the channel at any point in the future.
And they fire all the personalities you came to enjoy...
@@ozmarichardson6524 Yes, this will be the problem with this channel: It could be back in name only. I nevertheless stick to my principle here since there have been a couple of cases of "Wow, an upload on *this* channel?!? How great is *that* ?"
Is everyone else seeing this or is it a pandemic induced hallucination?
Sarah A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
Sarah hallucination for sure! But let’s enjoy it while it last👍
"He's not Santa."
"He is too, *censored*!" 😂😂😂
Lol that part got me!! 😂😂
LO AND BEHOLD, THE SECOND COMING, FORETOLD BY PROPHECY OF STRIFE AND PLAGUE!
Oh my god, Cracked remembered they have CZcams Channel! Place your bets on how long it will take for this group of writers to get screwed over.
3 months?
Fourteen minutes.
The moment they decided to upload a video on their dead ass channel
They didn't forget, they just fired their entire video staff.
This is their last video.
Oh cool they realized how big of a mistake cutting their entire video department was
Does cracked have something other than video?
Well anything that matters?
@@LeonardGreenpaw I mean . . . Seanbaby still shows up when he needs a paycheck. . . .
Actually cracked was sold again recently
So this is like a remake of obsessive pop culture disorder....
OPCD was a knock off of a show that was made by Michael so cracked has a history of ripping off their own shows and I like it.
Only if this guy wins an emmy in the future
Cracked: Hey CZcams it's Cracked, can you hear me? On your left.
cracked is back on the menu boys!
It isn't sadly. There's nothing left of the Cracked that used to be.
@@ze_rubenator doesn't mean new things can't grow on us.
Here's some gooder news cracked is back
No it's not.
Camilo Ramos Paiva I think there would be issues around having to pay any of the old writers/cast that the skits have in them. If you had someone upload your face to make money off of it and they chose not to pay you, you’d probably get particularly pissed.
2020 bringing cracked back:
*"maybe I don't wanna be the bad guy anymore...."*
Legit question: am I supposed to cringe at your profile pic? Like is that intentional? 😂 also, top notch comment.
"Like a really tough guy?...."
@@cg1906 you may cringe at my mask but it defines me, I was born into it, moulded by it
@@AI-tc8fv oh dip! The perfect response! Sick sick have a wicked day friendo
@@cg1906 💯❤️
"Only show on cracked-"
Ooof, for a sec I thought cracked would be back.
But I'm still thankful for this, reminds me of better times...
“And the only show on Cracked....”
🤣
Wow an entire quarantine is what it took for cracked to come back.
So this is OPCD without the charm of Dan O’brien
kinda
My first thought.
Literally thinking the exact same, even his outro is the same, with some of the same mannerisms that Deenie O’Beanie swooned us with in the OG cracked days.
It doesn't have the manic energy that makes the name OCPD make sense.
I found myself getting a little bored while watching, which literally never happened with opcd.... it feels a little like a knock off.
I missed these Cracked videos, thanks for bringing them back. Now if only Daniel would come back and do one~
I would freaking love that!
When Jordan started with "if there's anything we know about King Kong" my first thought was "he ain't got shit on me".
Cracked.......posted.....
Am I the only one that’s confused
I also have the confusion
that they attempted to resurrect an old bit with the guy who goes to get the lunch orders. yep, and it was sad. I didnt realize how much I missed the old cast until this popped up. Whats next, they try this with "After Hours"?
Why is he so good? This is like if poochie was an legit awesome itchy and scratchy character.
Heya Jordan! Thanks for adding to the Cracked legacy by giving us a little something to help us through the pandemic! Make this new era great my dude! Make your predecessors proud!
A youtube channel that everyone thought was extinct still had over 2.5 million subscribers.
People don't usually clean out their sub box I know I haven't like ever.
I'd sometimes use it for rewatching playlists
We all remember how good it was and hope for revival
Yajsema personally, I never unsubscribe from a channel unless I just don’t like the person anymore because you still get recommendations in your feed on the channel after a while.
The only show on cracked....
Thank you for helping rejuvenate Cracked. The impact that Cracked has had on my life is huge. It means a lot to see a new video uploaded.
Absolutely! I'm hoping it brings attention to the classic stuff and opens up the door for better content in the future.
"The only show on Cracked..." since they fired everyone who actually made their shows.
I mean, do the powers at be at Cracked think we all forgot?! That day, it was like a dozen of my favorite shows got canceled, and, while I know it's a business, seeing this just reminded me of that feeling. Maybe that's just me, and maybe I'm just feeling extra emotional because of the pandemic. But, while Jordan did a good job, it really feels like this show is standing on the shoulders of OPCD and a bunch of other great Cracked shows that were cut short.
Different people run the channel now
It's not run by the assholes who sacked all the lovely people
Guess they thought we'd forget by now that they fired all their great talent.
I don't think so.
I feel like the line "the only show on Cracked" is pretty self aware.
No, they probably just hope we're mature enough not to take it out on the replacement talent.
I'm willing to give this show a chance. If the quality is there, I'll definitely continue to tune in.
I dont think the people who fired all the stuff run it anymore
@@perhaps1094 If that's true, they REALLY need to say so if they want the channel to succeed again. For good faith and will.
There's a lot of salty people here (myself included) with really high standards, but we'll be much more forgiving if we know that the same assholes aren't still in charge.
As much as I love this style of video, I really hope they let these new people's own personality shine through and not just try to make them knock-offs of the original cast
New people? Jordan has been writing for cracked for like, six years. He presumably wrote some of the scripts for those old videos.
I am using the phrase “gigantic taint” at least once a day, every day, until the next video is released. This was absolutely hilarious!
I'm beyond thrilled to see new content from Cracked. Keep it up, Doc Breeding!
I literally want to start crying right now. I miss these guys way too much.
I hope this isn't just some fever dream.
I hope it's not one of my anti-histamines dreams. Those meds give me weird dreams at best and nightmares at worst.
It is a dream
Who
I'm glad that you did this for Cracked. It was really nice to see something after all this time. Thank you.
Glad to see when Cracked finally came back they brought their A game. I hope this continues!
So there is a chance we can see Roger again
(Lloyd Christmas:) So you're telling me there's a chance.........
YEAH! - I read ya
cody is still doing some more news
Roger is great
What the hell is going on? Did I have a stroke? Why doesn't this guy look like Tom Reimman?
Stroke. Odds are way in favor of stroke.
Reimann*
I’m sad I have never came across this channel before it’s purely amazing! 🤣
that was absolutely HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope you can keep this level of awesomeness up for a long LONG LOOONNNGGGG TIME!!!!!
GREAT JOB!!!
Ah! After David Wong left I lost all hope. I shall light the candle and place it on the breezy windowsill
Wait-- this is new?! I was just rewatching all the After Hours
That is exactly how I ran into this
That what happened to me, I fell in love by accident.
I'm really glad that this /felt/ like a Cracked video [:
For a second I thought they were reposting an old video, like they do with articles on Facebook. So happy to see original content again.
Yeah... the only show on Cracked, lol. THANK YOU for starting shows up again! But, where’s the old crew?????
They all got new jobs after being fired, lol. It's pretty shitty of this channel to suddenly decide it does actually want the revenue from these videos after screwing over the people who originally created them.
Dob writes for Last week tonight
Swaim is at IGN
Soren write a for American Dad.
No clue where Katie and Alex are but if only they came back I would settle. Will still miss DOB and Michael though.
yougosquishnow I’m pretty sure Katie is doing podcasts now
@@yougosquishnow Shmitty's probably still rolling in that sweet _Jeopardy!_ dough.
Schmitty the Champ is still running the show over on the Cracked Podcast.
Katie and Cody are doing Even More News, plus they're teamed up with Robert Evans on Worst Year Ever.
ATB has the dopest podcast network in the land.
Google your favorite ex-Cracked staff and they're almost definitely still in the creative industry.
OMG, OMG, OMG. THEY'RE BACK
I'm so suggestible that if someone says they're a sexy genius my first instinct is to take them at their word.
Love that Cracked has new Owners and is trying to bring back the video production side. I've been pushing hard to make Cracked-esque videos on my channel for the past two years to fill the void, but can't capture the audience. Still, we push on with "A Note of Brilliance"
Great stuff man. You'l get more comfortable and the videos will keep rolling out, I'll continue to watch, share, and support.
Am i high or did cracked post a video? is this real life or...
"The only show on Cracked..." oof..
Great to see Cracked active again! Dope first episode. Looking forward to the next one
This is the best thing Cracked has done in a long while. It totally reminds me of the old days. I really hope this show does well, because I'm looking forward to more content!
Wtf?!!? No videos for a year then randomly during quarantine you post a video?!!! Omg
"Monster's University Actual Legit Doctorate of Medicine"?
Ok.
I am SSSSSOOOOO Happy to have you guys back. Even if it's just once in a while I can never get enough of your content and have missed u all so much. Welcome back and heres hopeing to a nice long stay
That was surprisingly good. Welcome back!
Wow I never thought Cracked would post another video
Me:It only took a pandemic to bring Cracked back.
Also me: I'd didn't know I was still subcribed.
I watched this around when it first came out. I wasn't a fan for awhile, but after watching a few videos suddenly there was one I really liked and I enjoyed them all after that. I'm so glad I continued watching. I'm glad this came up in my recommended again so I could watch it again and appreciate it. Just because it's not the original Cracked staff doesn't mean it's bad or unfunny. Keep up the good work!
That's really great to hear. Thanks so much for giving me a chance!
Omg! I can't believe you guys are back. Love to see more videos
The quality sure isnt what it used to be before yall fired everybody.
Yup, video sucked, but glad cracked is back
Yeah, I don't get all the comments parroting 'cracks back derrrrppp'
Truth is the quality had tanked before cracked pulled the plug the other year, it was only After Hours and Honest Ads that were still funny, and even After Hours got replaced by the B-team near the end
This did not reverse that trend.
You know that cracked was bought yet again right like like the people that fired everybody no longer actually run it
Damn those brownies were rlly something i just got this notification that cracked has been revived from the yt graveyard
Wow. found this by complete accident just now as i was checking the website. Great to see you guys are back.
Who here re-watching after crying over the finale?
Me
I binge watch after hours...
i did too. i watched all the episodes and got caught up...then they never posted again.
It's been so long omg. Seeing the notification brought the biggest smile to my face
This was a really entertaining video! Keep up the good work Jordan. I look forward to seeing more of your work on this once glorious channel.
Uhm, that degree was from Monster's University
It also says "actual legit doctorate of medicine" which I think is very convincing.
Wow a Cracked video. I thought you guys were not allowed to make these anymore
Wow didn't think cracked did videos anymore.
So glad you guys are back!!
"King Kong is basically a monkey and therefore cannot fly...legally."😂😂😂
Cracked video? What's going on? Are we back in 2016?
Bring back after hours!!!!
In Kong Scull Island, I still can’t get over the idea that these guys make it through the “impenetrable” weather surrounding the island that has been cutoff from everything else in the world, and instead of landing and setting up a safe camp , get some baseline data measurements, and IDK maybe looking around a bit to see if there may be any *people* in the island, they start dropping bombs! It’s ridiculous.
I liked this. Keep it up, Jordan. I really hope this is the start of something more.
Um, okay. Just outta nowhere you guys post a video after an entire year. Cool.
Like I know this dude isn't a line breaking scab but it sure feels like he's a line breaking scab.
DOB likes his show and if DOB likes him then he good.
@@lucifaerislifeandstuff5181 this guy did a fine job. This video felt much like old Cracked. I was just making jokes.
Glad you’re back. Better than most content on CZcams anyway. Keep up the good work! 👍🏼