Timestamps because im long-winded and if you're (Possibly) ADHD these will be essential to getting through the video :) 0:00:00 Beginning 0:00:11 What we're talking about today 0:00:20 czcams.com/video/5uI3xymx4do/video.html 0:01:46 When I was diagnosed 0:02:31 What was the medication like when I was in high school 0:03:18 Why did I go off medication to begin with? 0:03:53 What were my medications then and now? 0:06:20 Sleeping While on stimulant medication 0:07:39 My dosage increase schedule 0:08:50 Developing a tolerance 0:09:06 Why having to go off the medication SUCKS 0:11:05 ======CHANGES====== 0:11:28 ----- Impulsivity 0:11:34 Self control with food 0:11:49 Context switching and "Gear changing" 0:12:38 ----- Executive Functioning 0:12:50 Better seperation from enjoyable activities or subjects of hyperfocus 0:13:40 Overcoming the starting energy hurdle 0:15:17 Less distracted by notifications when i should be focusing 0:15:28 It's not about being *Distracted* its about the search for more ~*Stimulation*~ 0:16:27 Why driving can be dangerous for me 0:17:12 ----- RSD - Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 0:18:50 ----- SLEEP 0:19:40 ======NEW THINGS I'VE LEARNED ABOUT ADHD====== 0:20:12 ADHD people can have tics 0:20:23 www.twitch.tv/sweet_anita 0:21:52 Getting in trouble at work for motor tics / fidgets 0:23:23 ADHD issues with object permanence like babies and peek-a-boo 0:24:51 publish.obsidian.md/bryan-jenks/Object+impermanence+in+ADHD+affects+preference+for+top+level+structures 0:25:48 Object permanence issues affecting relationships 0:27:18 How I work around my brain to be a better friend 0:27:18 ----- 1 Important events calendar 0:27:57 ----- 2 Socializing prompts with spaced repetition software 0:29:00 ----- 3 A wonderful partner CAN help, but SHOULDN'T be obligated to 0:29:37 RSD Makes us into people pleasers 0:31:38 Avoidant Attachments 0:33:36 I Repeat, RSD is the WORST 0:35:13 Outro
@@AndreaDawnBrewer i meant more like research paper sources in medical literature. Robert Whitaker at first glance does not appear to have any official medical credentials which does not really help his credibility in my mind
I’m 80 years old and feel like my whole life struggle has just been clarified. It has been a difficult road to travel and now, at this late date in my life, feel “authenticated” for who I am and how I’ve navigated and survived all these years. Thank you!
I love hearing other people talk about their experiences with ADHD. One of the biggest revelations that came from my diagnosis was the realization that there were other people like me and that I wasn’t alone. It was a major breakthrough for me emotionally and took a lot weight off of my shoulders.
I am glad you mentioned the ticks. When younger I would find myself having these blinking fits I feel mentally I learned how to have better control to not do as much. Now older I still occasionally find myself doing it today. If I think about or talk about it that itself can set me off doing it, I guess in that way it almost sounds more like an OCD thing. I should add along with the eye thing I would do this weird thing bring my should and chin up to touch only one side at a time. That I don't remember all that well I just remember how I would be embarrassed so I worked really hard to get control over and I started to pay attention to the urge I would feel right before it would happen so then I could learn to catch that knowing what came next and I would do it but I was able to Just Disguise what I was really doing to then controlling it all together. Took a long time to get to that point but I did. Stress makes it worse that I have noticed.
Hey I feel you. I like talking about my experiences with ADHD and the medication they put me on when I was about five or 8 or so well into my middle school years and on and off in highschool and adulthood. If you would like, I could share-to you-my experiences and how being on the meds drastically changed who I was and came to be. If you see this comment and are in the mood let me know and I will sit down and ramble off a massive book about it(likely when I should be doing something else at that time).
I just randomly burst into tears when you spoke about losing friends because of not staying in contact. Im 37 and still haven't bit the bullet and gotten a diagnosis. Im going to now tho.
Yep in the 40s here, just started on this journey but it’s helped more so far than anything else. The stigma against treatment is real, but it’s an illusion, ready to be broken through so you can be more fulfilled. 🥳
I’m 39 and just (finally after overthinking it for years) started treatment. I can’t recommend taking that plunge enough. You’ll then find yourself crying joyfully when you can actually use your brain better.
ADHD is the kind of thing that’s so hard for people without it to understand so videos like this make me very very happy. I feel more normal knowing I’m not stupid or a freak and that I’m just different in ways I can work around. Thanks so much for being so open about this cause you have no clue how valuable this is for people like me.
Oh man I feel your pain with the friendship issue. I not only forget to talk to them but then also struggle to think of the 'right' things to say when I do and also have so little energy that I can't really face seeing people. I've lost every friend I ever had that way. Hoping my recent diagnosis and medication will help.
@@BryanJenks how do you manage in large groups of people (+4 people with me) I dont have diagnosis for either but probably on spectrum with asd and definitely on adhd.
I totally relate to the "can't think of the right thing to say" issue. So then I say nothing, time passes, and I can't respond because it would weird to reply after waiting so long, right? (Or so my brain says...) Finally got a diagnosis at age 51, but so many friends lost along the way.
i loved the way you described RSD! Hyperfocusing on hurt feelings is soooooo draining and one of the main things i struggle with when it comes to ADHD. I'm not currently medicated but i've been thinking about trying it.
@@BryanJenks This is what made me seek therapy, my horrible boss from 2006-2009 lives in my head rent-free... (that crazy bitch) It never occurred to me that I was hyperfocusing on the hurt, but that feels true.
I’m a loose canon off my meds lol. One little thing can set me off. I can’t get over it like normal people. I’m actually surprised I’m still functioning, employed, and out of jail lmao.
Try looking in to taking vitaminD3 and Magnesium Glycinate first. These 2 things made a difference in changing my life. I was misdiagnosed and drugged. I became dependent and had to come off gradually. What I had was PTSD and adult ADHD . I started studying on things to do naturally. I feel like a human being now.
I'm on week three of my titration of meds after being diagnosed finally at 43. At first I thought it wasn't doing much but when you mentioned emotional regulation I audibly exclaimed, "Yeeeesssss!" It has absolutely helped there. I noticed when I had to speak to my daughter's principal about her behaviour (she's on a long waiting list for an ADHD & Autism assessment). Normally, because it's my child and I'm passionate about her receiving support, I would get loud or emotional when talking about her, but I found myself able to articulate myself in a rational way. I felt like a proper adult, hehe.
Yes!! The biggest change I have seen on my meds (newly diagnosed at 47) is my emotional disregulation. It is soooooo much better. It has had such a positive impact on my life, my marriage....it's unreal.
@@Nonya12608 I was diagnosed last week at 47...lol. I got my meds - Straterra and now I'm too worried about side effects to take it. I've been with my existing company for almost 23 years and finally figured out why I hate RTO...
@@calvintait3869 it's insane how everything just all of a sudden makes total sense. The only side effect for me so far were crazy insomnia for the first few weeks, major appetite depression (it also ridded me of my food obsession), and some nausea about an hour after I take it. All totally worth it (and some just plain awesome) in my opinion. I am also on Clonidine. Good luck, I hope it works well for you!
This video came up on my auto-play while trying to learn more about my adhd and I'm so glad it did. I think this is the most relatable video about adhd that I've come across. RSD (in terrible combination with c-ptsd) has impacted my life so deeply and negatively, that I feel like I barely know who I am through the fog of years of masking and people pleasing behaviors. It impacts every decision I make and every interaction I have with other people. I hadn't been able to fully articulate these feelings until now. I appreciate the hell out of this video.
Girl! I know how how you feel! Hugs to you ..I am sitting here nearly in tears (which I don’t cry often these days)and reading your comment is exactly how I feel after I listened to him!
I'm just learning this terminology now at the age of 31. I was never able to get a diagnosis despite many difficult attempts due to an underfunded, incompetent, and indifferent medical system. Being predisposed to please others effectively prevents a person from negotiating with their employer or escaping abusive relationships. Having to expend a mountain of energy to achieve very little makes academia / employment unsustainable at best. Invisible conditions don't garner sympathy either. I'm surprised yours is the only comment I've seen mentioning c-ptsd, because after over a decade of trying to live like this, I have consistent flashbacks and can't function socially or professionally anymore; anxiety and depression virtually define me. I had to be ready to commit suicide before being given a disability income and even then, my government (Canada), was extremely reluctant to do so. Thank you so much for your comment; it's vital that people understand how torturous these conditions can be.
@@reynoldfroese8439 "Having to expend a mountain of energy to achieve very little makes academia / employment unsustainable at best. Invisible conditions don't garner sympathy either." This really resonated with me! Exactly how I feel. I really should not be working. It took me a decade to get a Bachelor's degree, and it came at the cost of the last remaining ounce of my confidence, and actually obliterated my libido, and thus sense of worth and self. The combination of Rejection-sensitive dysphoria + office gossip and mockery (especially to those who are different/weird like me) is unsustainable...I hate it. But because it's an invisible condition, it's so hard to get sympathy. AND, just like you, medical practitioners have been ABYSMAL at diagnosing my ADHD. Many practitioners think it's still only a condition of hyper-activity and inability to focus on a given task. So frustrating how incompetent THE ACTUAL DOCTORS ARE with diagnoses when we have SO much information readily available on the Internet to learn about these conditions, with many Average Joe's who never went to medical school being more informed and educated than the practicing doctors themselves. Pathetic, really.
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, only now at 30 years old I've being diagnosed with ADHD. Being a woman - apparently it shows differently in girls - and after spending 10 years on escitalopram it was something that made really angry for a long time because of the time I lost not being able to focus, to learn, to study, to work properly, the friends thing is real too. I tried to go to therapy, my whole family saw the impulsivity, the inability to keep a schedule, a plan whatever, and so many of my relatives are therapists! It took me a really long time because I felt everybody failed me and it costed me YEARS of my life I'll never get back.
I agree with the emotional effects also, its was really a source of pain for me having to fulfill tasks that took me too long focusing on them and then not being able to. Like physically discomfort, caused me to cry. Also want to add the irritability, the mood swings, some depression. People considered I had a BPD.
Wow. I feel this. I was always just prescribed medication for depression or anxiety , every time I'd go to my doctor and describe my issues/frustrations, but always failed to explain myself ,and would end up getting misdiagnosed over and over and over again. Finally , at almost 30, my wife came to the doctor with me, resulting with me going to an actual specialist , and being diagnosed with adhd-c (thank goodness). But after looking into these videos, and reading and educating myself/medication ; I FINALLY feel like I am getting to "reality". Like I am actually myself for once; after feeling like I have wasted YEARS just "spinning my wheels for no reason".....I am still figuring things out, but just wanted to say something because of how much your comment resonated. I hope you are doing well/continue to do well. Peace
I’m 50 waiting on diagnosis I was on fluxetine fpr years anxiety depression. I was a single mum and. Although I’d tried my hardest my kids got taken off me.. they said no structure no routine messy home. Now I’ve it menopause I feel like I’m losing the plot x
This video was awesome. I was diagnosed at 7 years old and took medication until I was a year and a half into college. I just thought I didn’t need it anymore or that what some people say “grew out of adhd” I had to drop out and go back. It took me 10x the amount of effort to do my classes but I ended up graduating. I was off of Concerta for 6 years and I struggled to keep jobs and relationships. Just realized it was all from RSD. I can’t believe it was adhd the whole time. I really thought I was just mentally crazy. I started self medicating with Thc, caffeine and nicotine daily. I’m 24 now and own my own business. Adhd was really getting in the way of my business and my marriage. I’m now back on Concerta 54 mg a day and I can’t tell you how happy I am to be back on my medication I finally feel like my old normal self. My wife, family and friends have all noticed a difference. I’ll never go off my meds. It has totally changed my life.
That’s so great! I was 35 when I had the realization oh my god this is forever. I just remember thinking back how they said you would grow of it. No, it’s a thing.
That’s so great! I was 35 when I had the realization oh my god this is forever. I just remember thinking back how they said you would grow of it. No, it’s a thing.
This is among the best videos on ADHD I've seen and I relate to virtually all of the issues you have. I just got diagnosed at 36 and realised that it's basically ruined my life up to this point. The focus and other issues are bad, but the RSD is crippling to relationships, it's like there's something in you that exists to push away anyone who likes or cares about you. I just started the meds, but there's only a slight improvement so far, I hope things get better over time.
The RSD is what made me realize there has to be something wrong with me and caused me to seek help. I'm now diagnosed with ADHD and the meds help significantly when I remember to take them
Thank you for sharing my friend, I have absolute empathy for you. I have a father who is sociopathic and thinks that I made up all of that adhd and anxiety. while also toxicly keeps pointing out everything I have done wrong in the past. so living at home is rough and with my state I am still not ready for full time job. glad I can manage part-time at least :)
Kind of late to the party here and sorry if someone has already commented here on this but the “ticks” are called Stimming and every person in the world does it. In people with ADHD it’s a lot more pronounced and sometimes can be quite extreme. For me I have this muscle thing where they don’t feel comfortable and I have to stretch them out to feel ok. It can get almost unbearable when I feel excitement or something and it becomes more pronounced. It’s also something that made me feel crazy for a lot of my life and I hid it from people. Now that I know what it is I’m more comfortable with it
@@rebelshopblue it's so bad having skin picking with add. In the past I always bit my nails hut somehow stopped over time. I do bounc rmy leg often but the worst for me is head scratching.
DUDE! I trust cried through most of this video. I've been studying ADHD for like a month now and this is the most relatable and informative video I've come across so far. It's like you made a video about me and explained me to myself. Very eye opening, emotional, and soooo much needed. Thank you for this so very much 😢❤️
I haven't even watched the whole video yet and I feel compelled to comment. My daughter was Dx'ed at 12 with ADHD, Inattentive Type, and we fought against meds until she was 14. We noticed a difference right away but it wasn't a silver bullet. She was subsequently Dx'ed with 2 additional learning disabilities and FINALLY at the age of 17 on the spectrum. Rewind to her Dx, at which time I embarked on a massive research dive into ADHD and found myself alternating between laughing and crying as my lofe was being described in page after page. That all being said, at the age of 38 i started concerta and it has been LIFE CHANGING. I always thought that I was lazy and it was always implied that I was selfish. When your whole life is a series of failures that can affect others, it then becomes a moral discussion instead of what it rightly is - a legitimate "disability". I take the 36mg and no supplementary Ritalin, but being Inattentive Type, I need it to perk up, not settle down. It is also somewhat ironic that I'm writing this before the pharmacy opens and before I've taken my meds because it is a tool and not a cure and ADHD has facilitated my forgetting to go to the pharmacy on Friday before it closed for the weekend. The rules around ADHD meds are not very ADHD friendly, just thought I'd add that in there.
yeah i made a TikTok about the ADHD med BS. went to go pick up my Rx and i had to come back the next day because it wasnt the LAST day from my prior prescription... so i have to call 3 days in advance to renew and only pick up on the very last day of the script? how ADHD friendly is that BS -_-
I'm the father of a 10 year old with ADHD (and ASD), and we all hear you on the medication BS. And I know it's even worse for adults with ADHD Rxes. I get the connection with the Rx drug problem, but it really makes life so much harder for people (or parents of) those who actually need them. Our last run-in was when the doctor screwed up and sent the refill to the mail order place instead of the local pharmacy, even though I stressed that I specifically needed it at the local one because we only had about four days worth and they take forever with the mail order. They sent it to mail order, and I had to repeatedly fight with them to get it fixed. We usually use the mail order because it's the only way to get a 3 month supply, which reduces the frequency we might run into a problem. But I'm always paranoid about it not getting here in time for some reason. The previous time I had an issue was when the George Floyd riots happened. They closed a bunch of pharmacies here (I live in a suburb north of Minneapolis) and apparently our usual CVS was one of them. But they had our medication locked up in their system (this was before the mail order). They weren't answering the phone. We tried to get it transferred to another CVS, but they couldn't. Then we found out that they weren't really closed, but that their phone system had crashed, so they couldn't answer calls from the other CVS. We eventually got it transferred but it took a lot of phone calls and stress. I can't imagine dealing with these issues while ALSO having ADHD and potentially not having my tool that made it easier to function!
I also have inattentive ADHD. I got diagnosed at age 9 but I quit my meds at age 14 for 7 years (i’m 22) and that was a mistake. Fortunately I’m doing better back on meds and I started an antidepressant as well since I have depression as well. It’s not hard for me to get my meds luckily I think maybe I’m in a good area or maybe I don’t come across a certain way. I wish they could make it easier though for everyone. Also I find that I can also function pretty well only on my antidepressant. My dad also has adhd and I’ve encouraged him to get help so hopefully he doesn’t face difficulty with getting meds.
@@happysloth3208 , it's not about the way you come across but the laws/regulations in your state/province. It is considered a controlled substance and the statement these laws are conveying is that if one gets their pills early they'll sell them. It's ridiculous.
Damn dude, I started Concerta today and you just described the last 20 years of my life perfectly. I was diagnosed young, but didn't go on medication because I was stubborn. I wish I'd started earlier. I feel so much happier and calmer. I also struggled with the RSD thing. And today I feel so much like I don't care about anyone else's opinion of me. Most productive day of my life.
I'm 37 and not diagnosed but I've discovered I'm definitely on the ADD spectrum because all the symptoms are my life. It affects my productivity and japan doesn't recognize adhd so they give zero crap if a person has condition. Never tried meds but moved to japan and all meds except Concerta are banned here. Retilij is prescribed for insomnia here, not adhd. So I'm on the fence if I should go to a clinic and get diagnosed so I could get Concerta prescribed. Does it have any bad side effects like destroying liver and such? I have an exam in a week and yesterday had all the day to study, except I cleaned my apartment, cooked food, washed the dishes, watched videos about adhd, etc. And did 0% progress for the exam...
@@HaohmaruHL I am in Japan too, undiagnosed as well, and starting to think maybe it's time to start treating it. I also have a lot of concerns but maybe I owe it to myself to at least try. I know it's not covered by the national health insurance, so I'm not even really sure yet what I'd be looking at for costs. How far along are you at looking into getting the process started?
@@HaohmaruHL You could probably find out about Concerta online; I plan to do so. Also does coffee/caffeine help you? I find that it helps me a lot. I just have to make sure I allow enough time for it to leave my system to ensure adequate sleep.
I was the same. Resisted for 20 years… I actually sobbed the first day I took it. (See my comments too). An absolute MIRACLE drug, really. Congratulations on your new life as the real you! 🙏🏻❤️🕊
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, I would like to give them a try but haven't found any legit grower to get it.
A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
Thank you for being transparent. I was just diagnosed at 40 and this video really helped me in my research. I have all the symptoms you have. All of them. My whole life I just assumed I sucked at life and now I know why. Its liberating. Thank you.
I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD. I just watched this video, having no idea what RSD is, and broke down in tears. This, after so many years and misdiagnoses, is my answer for why I am constantly struggling with emotional responses. I am SO THANKFUL to you for sharing this video, you'll never know how much this helped me.
Yeah, I've had disordered sleep my entire life. It was killing me. I was diagnosed in December, started medication in January. I sleep like a baby now. My anxiety is minimal, my depression is completely gone. There isn't a wall of awful around everything anymore. Who knew zoom-zoom pills would bring so much peace and order to my life?
Its really interesting about the sleep. I don’t sleep well (am 50) and suspect adhd. I had assumed the meds would make the sleep worse, v interesting they don’t
"I's no that I'm distracted, it's that i need more stimulation". Wow finally putting words on something that I couldn't describe for years. I went down a rabbit hole of ADHD videos and I believe I need to get myself checked. thanks a lot
From a fellow ADHDer and psychiatrist, I found this video to be very informative and well articulated . Especially your view about and experience with RSD. I recommend showing this video to your close ones if they struggle to understand your adhd
im definitely not shy about telling them how things are for me and how i best receive information and process things, always willing to help and talk with professionals who work with other ADHD folks to improve understanding of the lived exerience :)
Watching videos like this warms the heart. It’s like , wait I’m not the only one who thinks like that??! The RSD part was huge. I had also wondered why if the wife and I had some minor argument after work, motivation and mood would be just wrecked and unable to work on any side project that evening. Thanks for the video!
Dude this is incredible! I have ADHD and have been on concerta since 2014 and I was laughing the whole time because of just how relatable EVERY SINGLE THING you mentioned is. It's nice to know someone else can relate
@@gedzy I just started taking it five weeks ago and despite initial stomach issues I'm seeing the benefits. Much more able to focus on stuff I'm not interested in, able to hold meaningful conversation with my partner. It is however alarming that I've gone 49 years of life without knowing this was my problem! All the best.
I have been on medication for just over 3 weeks now. It has already entirely changed my life. I don't sit around and do nothing all day now. I am sleeping SO much better and it's no longer impossible to get out of bed in the morning (i'm also a nightowl who cannot get out of bed in the morning). My house is clean and has been clean and tidy for THREE WEEKS. I have caught up on 6 weeks of uni work. I'm less sensitive to things. I am excited to return to work (I have been off for years now with anxiety and depression). I still have to put in work but the work is so less tedious. I am looking forward to life in a way that I haven't for three years. Also 100% agree with object permenance. ESPECIALLY with relationships. Another great example is I forget to water my garden if I don't leave my backdoor open so I can actually see it.
I just got my ADHD diagnosis yesterday and I'm in my 30s. Makes so much sense of the things I've struggled with my whole life. I always just thought I was very sensitive, terrible at timekeeping and weird. I guess I still am 😂 but I can't wait to get started on medication. Unfortunately gotta wait another 4-6 months because UK waiting times but it's reassuring to know how much the medicine will help with.
@@christinecox6049 that's terrible. Get a second opinion or change GPs. They have no right to behave like that. I spoke to my GP last November and after doing a simple symptom checklist she referred me for assessment. If there are no NHS ADHD services in your area you can use a thing called Right to Choose to get a private assessment funded through the NHS. Just had my assessment with psychiatry UK.
@@christinecox6049 I know this is a month later.. but I ended up going private for my diagnoses, my GP will do a joint care thing with the private psychiatrist I went through.
So I’ve known and have been diagnosed with ADHD for 20 years. I see a psychiatrist every other week for med management and psychotherapy. I’m amazed that RSD has never come up. This video has blown me away. You’ve described in amazing detail how my mind works. I’m just glad there are other people out there like me. Thank you.
This video is such a really valuable presentation Bryan. Your ADHD videos equate to the significance of Fritz Perls' videos of the 1960's and 70's. (There are many more such videos; Fritz just happens to come to mind.) Your presentations deserve to be brought to the attention of people teaching clinical psychopathology. They are that good. I have a masters in that field and I certainly have learned more about ADHD than I did in psychopathology class where we studied the DMS in detail.
I agree. The emotional dysregulation component impacts everything else that is going on and can exacerbate other symptoms. Thank you for your testimony, and let’s all bring awareness to this in our health care system. Medicating at the right dose can save us so much time, even if all it does is give our brain a bit of a rest from RSD impact.
I second this. I found out in grad school(2003) from my psychopathology prof that I have all the markers for adult adhd. I sat down with the chair of the department to talk about whether I was going to be successful in the program with some help from medication and cbt and he told me to stop looking for excuses and work harder. Literally ten years later, I started taking vyvanse and suddenly became a whole lot more employable. I don't know if I'm ever going to get over my anger from all those years of people encouraging me to just work harder. I doubt I'll ever forgive my family, but my career is finally going somewhere, and my wife is awesome. Big props Bryan, you're doing the Lord's work here.
This is one of the best ADHD videos I’ve seen! Thanks Bryan. I was diagnosed 5 years ago at 47, so being older, I’ve spent a very large portion of my life feeling like the world’s worst friend. Your description of object permanence describes exactly what I’m like. I had no idea this was why I could still feel fondly about a friend, but fail to keep in touch. I’m feeling really relieved that I’m not just a lazy a-hole! Also, I have a tic where if I even hear the word “tic” I have to raise my right arm and push it up into the air like I’m going to shoot a basketball so it cracks my elbow 🤷🏼♀️ I wish I could crack my fingers like you do-that was impressive! 😆
Kate, I’m about your age and going down the path to get my own diagnosis. I have a son and a brother with ADHD, so the chances are high that it’s also the source of my troubles. I have felt so bad about the friend thing too. I am terrible about keeping in touch with people. I have begun to tell people that I am not good at keeping in touch, but that it’s not ever my intention. I think it’s not so much object permanence that’s the cause, but more a time issue. I have a very poor concept of time, so I fail to realise just how long it has been since I contacted friends or family. I also tend to remember that I probably should get in touch, but I do it when I’m in the middle of doing something like driving, so I can’t act on it, and then I forget about it again. I feel SO bad about it!!!!
Omg. I’m like so shocked I had to pause the video. I’m at the part about Emotional regulation and rejection sensitivity disorder and my mouth is on the floor because I’ve felt this way my entire life. I literally thought I was the only one who felt this way. If something hurts my feelings I can’t function properly for the rest of the day. Probably won’t leave my room not even to eat. I got a dog this year and honestly he helps me get up and start my day because some days I don’t think I would be able to if it weren’t for him
I tried antidepressant which actually helped tremendously! I would stew over a scenario but with meds, issues just weren't issues anymore. Side affect was that I then felt no emotion at all. I couldn't make simple decisions because I didn't feel anything. E.g. would u like to see this movie? Don't know. Off meds. There r books with exercises that helped. E.g. you know this bad train is coming...speaking to my mom triggers me...so don't get on that train, just let it pass.
me too! it will absolutely comsume me! and I just can't let it go. I thought all this time I was just sensitive. its amazing to know that people with adhd also have problems dealing with this !
This video blew my mind. I’m 50, and have been working on my depression with therapy and medication for 20 years. Recently, my son was diagnosed with ADHD. As we went through the process I realized I too had so many of the same challenges. I started pursuing a diagnosis for myself and have been curious to learn about ADHD medications. I am optimistic that this may finally address other challenges that I have long struggled with.
ADHD is genetic so your story makes sense. I was diagnosed with adhd as a child and then forgot about it as I crashed and burned through school. I was diagnosed again in my 30s, started on Adderall and it changed my life instantly. I’m in my mid50s now, still taking Adderall, still married, no depression or anxiety, no car accidents or tickets since. I do still spend money impulsively but only after thinking about it for a long time first LOL I mean who doesn’t need a new sportscar? Good luck!
I'm 50, and been on and off depression meds...something just never fitted....gave up and decided I'm just insane.....I discovered I have ADD a few months ago and methyl phenidate CHANGED my life.....I've wasted my entire life not knowing 😥😥😥 ....wasting years and money on depression meds...see sawing on and off....if I'd discovered this decades ago my life could have been so diff. The relief is luckily not as big as my dismay mourning the LOSS potential, but I do feel that loss.
@@deb9ragorton742 that sounds amazing! Could you describe some of the ways the ADD meds have changed your life? I have my diagnosis coming up soon and am hoping for a similar outcome.
@Henry's Hobbies True...adhd is often misdiagnosed as depression...is why so many are on SSRI's. But the fact is, more people have ADHD than true depression....myself included - and am just now realizing... Hey, I'm NOT depressed. But, why do I still have all these little challenges later in my life and now they're more noticeable? I never was an 'organized person'. But in my youth and even middle age, life lived me! Now that I'm older, kids grown up and out, friendships fading, some friends & relatives no longer on this plane - my dog is gone now too... I'm not depressed, or lonely- Have many interests, but damn - I'm having a huge challenge organizing my life. Life is no longer living me; now I have to plan it, organize it... and I'm at a loss 🙄 Realizing, in retrospect, I've always had these challenges & quirks...more noticeable now because the whirlwind of life has slowed way, way down....& now that I've caught my breath - yep...I'm reasonably certain it's ADHD, not depression.
I can’t thank you enough for this video! I’m 66 years old and you’ve just explained all the mysteries of my self to me. I have only recently discovered that was ADHD all my life and with a bang :-)
@@Aloha967-tree-fo-wer I. Actually really excited to find a doctor to get that diagnosis, now that I know that I'm not stupid, and not an emotional outcast!
I could not be more different from you - I'm a stay at home mom in my mid thirties. But you have struck such a cord and I feel so connected to you, a total stranger. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing such personal insights. I've just been diagnosed and I feel alone and Rsd is no joke. Thanks for such a thoughtful video. God bless :)
I started concerta 5 days ago at 30 and literally everything you talked about are my experiences as well. To think that the extreme emotional responses I have to every negative thing that happens to me aren't just things others have developed better strategies for is jarring. I also have a small tick where my eyes will vibrate really fast for just a couple of seconds, once or twice a month, and never had a possible explanation till now. This video was extremely helpful and not only makes me hopeful, but also gives me some realism that these problems that I struggle with aren't now magically gone forever with the meds. Thank you Bryan.
If you have nystagmus and you feel dizzy or vertigo sometimes and or tinnitus you might look into meniere's syndrome. It is diagnosed by an ENT and an audiologist
This is so helpful. Thanks, Bryan. I am 61 years old and have been in IT for 40 years. I am JUST NOW diagnosed with ADHD. Wow. It explains so much. I wanted to thank you for your videos and encourage you to keep going with both the tech and ADHD videos.
Thank you for this video.... I'm just now at 39 navigating these waters and it is crazy how many things iv always just dealt with because I didnt know it wasnt normal. I just though I was inadequate and couldn't handle things..... now I'm realizing I have untreated adhd that was presenting as depression and anxiety. Thank you thank you for making this!! I feel less alone :)
I’m a grown man and I got choked up watching this. I’ve not felt this understood in such a long time. In this area of my life I’ve never been this understood. Thanks for making this video. I meant a lot to me 😊
As someone who hasn't cried in 4 years now. This was the closest I came to crying. I have been researching ADHD for the past year and have always thought I might have it but it seemed such as a large task to check myself and always thought I can overcome it. But after a year and a half of work+studying it has became quite hard for me to function on a daily basis. Listening to you and relating to just about everything opened my eyes how much I need this.
As the wife of someone with ADHD that cannot seem to articulate what’s going on, I found this extremely useful and helpful. Especially the RSD part, which is an adverse effect that is hard for me to understand. My husband went off his meds for twenty years and I think we endured a lot more chaos and anger than would have been necessary. I’m super grateful he’s on them again and he is too. Thank you again. You’ve validated and explained what was happening in those years. Stormy weather indeed and now bluer skies again with occasional storms.
My partner currently asked for us to take a break because of her guilt about not being present in our relationship and her starting ADHD medication. I’m hoping to be there to weather the storm and get back together stronger, but I know that some of the work she has to put in has to be on her own. Do you have any advice on those difficult times? I’m really struggling with it right now
I learned more about ADHD, and my behavior from this single video then I have from decades of treatment and care... My mind is blown right now. Your knowledge is priceless ... I had to stop the video a couple times and resume it just to process the emotions and the sheer shock of the information before my eyes. Finally, terms and definitions to describe what's going on ! Please don't stop...
This the THE BEST talk on ADHD behaviors I have ever listened! I am blown away that you hit every major issue /behavior that my boyfriend of 6 years displays and is destroying our relationship. His is a brilliant programming engineer and has what looks like no emotional intelligence when it comes to relationships. The worst is emotional deregulation which is so damaging to trust. You even articulated that you have a partner that helps you regulate/order your life but that it is unfair to lean on them all the time and expect them to manage you. YOU need to get the tools together to do this for yourself. The sharing the details about the difference between on meds and off is so so powerful and so so helpful!!! I am going to have my boyfriend listen to this and I am at the braking point. My bond and attachment were so deep and joyful but his emotional deregulation have worn me out and all I want is peace. Hopefully this will resonate with him and will see he is not alone. This video is a huge support for me to not have to be the only one talking about his issues which of course only makes him angry. Coming from you, another male with the same issues could be a game changer for him. You nailed every issue that needs to be addressed in this video to not sabotage your relationships, job and life! I hope it gets shared by everyone suffering with these issues. Thank you for this wonderful gift to us all .
im glad you enjoyed the video and care so much about your relationship to find resources to try and bridge this gap with your partner and that you think i can help with that. I wish you the best of luck!
@@umrengnr He grew up with horrific emotional and physical abuse from a very young child by his father, so he has complex ptsd. Add can be a result of ptsd and well as many other issues that spin off from relentless inescapable abuse. So it’s complicated. He’s in denial of course that he has issues. We live separately and I am completely economically independent so I can put healthy distance when needed. His own sons now 30 and 33 can’t count of him so I have now learned so I am emotionally become more independent of our relationship.
Just got diagnosed and I feel you on the RSD. I don’t think people understand how much it affects your entire life. I’m 22, lived my entire childhood without knowing and definitely affected friendships and my relationship with myself. Was diagnosed with depression at 20, I think RSD had a huge part in it now that I know. Thank you for this video!
You literally described every single little thing I've been struggling with my whole life, including leg bouncing, nail biting and always feeling the need to please people 'cause you're note sufficiently capable of dealing with negativity. I'm having my ADHD assessment in 3 days and this was really helpful
@@CH4NNELZERO I've been diagnosed with Severe ADHD, as I've obtained maximum points both as a child and as an adult, my psychiatrist prescribed me Concerta XL. Edit: I also wanna mention that I'm on medication for over a week now and I can see major improvements already, it's like something switched in my brain and now I see things 10x more clear and brighter.
This resonates far too well. I’m taking a narcolepsy sleep study in a little under two weeks. I don’t “want” to have it, but if it’s negative I’ll be left not knowing what’s wrong with me. You’ve just given me me an avenue to explore. You’ve described my life so well it’s pretty much blowing my mind.
I think the going to sleep late thing is partly caused by a sense of wanting to get something done in the day while you still can. Staying up late also adds a time pressure of needing to get to sleep so I can wake up in the morning. It's that feeling of 'I'll just quickly get this thing done and once you feel like your making progress you don't want to stop.
Wow, the context-switching pain you described was so spot on. It happens especially when I'm coding. I feel like I have to load all this stuff into my working memory and when someone comes along and talks to me about something else, it's almost painful having to unload it and switch to what they want me to do. I actually end getting hit with this anger I have to kinda bite down on until it goes away. 23.26 Object Permanence This was a complete revelation to me. It all makes so much sense no. I mentioned coding before and it's most apparent to me there. I *NEED* multiple monitors. I have to have everything I'm referencing open in front of me, documentation, other code, everything! The moment it's hidden by another window, it's gone and I'm screwed. Part of it may be the limited working memory thing we get, but this kinda ties into it. I can look at the name of a field somewhere and go, ok, I need to put that somewhere else, but if that window disappears, I will forget how it was spelled, whether it was capitalized, snake case, uppercase, underscored or even what the name even was.
This is why I could never study regularly at school or college. Study one subject for an hour, then the next subject for another hour, every day, that was unthinkable for me. But study one subject for ten hours the day before the exam? No problem. I can live with a small interruption, but switching to a whole different project, or working on two projects at the same time? Even if one is coding, and the other maybe drawing, I still can't do both. They also constantly run in the back of my mind, even when I'm not working (sometimes you the point of obsession), and I can't actively think about two things at once. That's exactly how I've always seen it, as if I have to load everything into working memory, and now you're asking me to unload it and load something else? No way. Or, like, close all the tabs and apps I have opened, and open a whole different set of tabs and apps, and then switch again to the first set... That's asking too much. This might also be why I rarely shut down my PC unless Windows forces me. I have all my apps and tabs open, and if I restart and forget to open an app, that's gone. I'm never getting that task finished. I used to have all the apps set up to run at startup, because I'd forget a simple thing as checking my emails if Outlook wasn't started.
HAHAHA. thought I was.just a crazy person. (Diagnosed adhd-c in late 20s) but Ive been trying to efficiency "crack this code" for years now. Lol,.still haven't, and it usually costs me a lot of extra time in the long run, but it's getting better. I always make the joke that I could be INCREDIBLY efficient if I had unlimited money , and the ability to have literally EVERYTHING set up to function "for me" . One step at a time ,I guess. Anyway..... Wish you well. Peace
@@BryanJenks OMG I feel called out on the monitor setup! Interestingly, the context switching thing is something that I have trouble with as well, but I've been reading about it in the context of something called "autistic inertia" - essentially it's really difficult to transition from doing "thing X" (which could also be doing nothing at all) to doing "thing Y", even when that's something we really want to do.
I'm 47 and recently diagnosed. Your bit about friendships and ways in which we mess them up really kicked me in the guts. I'm trying to be open with people and make efforts but it's hard. Thank you.
Wow! I can relate to this so much. My daughter was just diagnosed as severe adhd and for the last few months its finally dawned on me why I might be the way I am. I thought I was alone but recently talking to people with adhd and listening to people like you hasade me realise I'm not. It runs in my family on my dad's side so makes a lot of sense. Thanks so much for this video. For those of you who think this disorder only exists in the US, I am from the UK so theres no need for twatty little comments like that. Thanks Bryan. X
Same. I started researching ADHD for a family member, too. I'm diagnosed OCD? I seriously feel like I could fall under many different "labels", and so could other's, at least at one time in their life or another, but when it effects your life to the point he describes here, it's a problem! All these mental illnesses need to be diagnosed and treated, and the treatment should include care and compassion as well. Mental health has been so stigmatized over the years! I think it's why so many people self-medicate. Best wishes and positive thoughts to you and your daughter!
@@BryanJenks Right!? It's unbelievable how the puzzle pieces of my life started to make sense, at least to me, when I cleaned up from drugs and alcohol (20 years ago, now, lol), got some help, then went back to school for my LADC. I thought I knew so much more than I actually did about mental illness and addiction. I mean, they are co-occurring disorders, but, yeah, was I wrong. One professor was particularly hard on us and kept saying if we didn't keep an open mind, we wouldn't pass his course, which really helped me in all them. The 'Family Therapy' courses were one of my favs and really intrigued me. But, yeah, genetics play a vital role. Proper diagnosis, treatment and Education are key, imo. Thank you so much for making this video, such great information, and very helpful info!! You rock!
I'm a mental health Clinician in the UK and have only just realised I likely have ADD / ADHD because my son has been dx. Its hard to see symptoms in yourself. X
Dude, you mentioning people pleasing and RSD really hit home. I even went to therapy to try to cope with those types of emotions and reactions but I never made the association with ADHD and it totally makes sense.
The book boundaries by dr. Henry cloud is excellent for helping with that he also has a Facebook group called Boundaries.me Studying about self-care and codependency will also help. God bless🙏
This video was so helpful, thank you! I literally took notes from it because my partner has ADHD and I am trying to figure out how to work around his habits or behavior and how to set things up to help him make life easier. I watched numerous videos where they list the symptoms but no one talks really deep into why are the symptomps like that and how does the person feel, what he thinks etc. You go really deep on this so finally, a person without ADHD can understand and relate to why he f.e. forget about me after I left for weekend etc. It sounds like a small thing but is really helpful for me. Many neurotypical people have problems with ADHD people because they can not understand the deep feelings and thoughts inside only see the symptomps outside which go on their nerves. Thanks again!
Holy crap, thank you for posting this. I do have an ADHD diagnosis but I always have this imposter syndrome experience around it, partially because my diagnosis came as an adult and partially because I don’t want there to be anything “wrong” with me. Hearing you talk about the emotional dysphoria really hit home for me. I’ve been titrating up on my concerta slowly and it’s been helpful but I get scared about being on medication. Also the physical ticks is something I have noticed I’ve done since I was a kid, I’ll clench my toes over and over and over, or flex that little tendon behind my knee.
Imposter syndrome is basically the idea that you're "faking it". The person suffering it usually knows they're not faking it, and there's no real reason for having these doubts, yet they can't help but feel like maybe they're just making it up. Somebody else can probably explain it better.@@Neemi030
OMG… you just described my life. I’m now 70 and was diagnosed ADD more than 30 years ago. My psychiatrist then had prescribed that same level of Concerta (54mg daily) and Ritalin (10mg PRN) which I followed for nearly 10 years. Unfortunately my psychiatrist passed away unexpectedly and new psychiatrist that I began seeing decided to change my regimen completely… took me off Concerta and Ritalin and put me on Oxcarbazatine (which I titrated up to the max dose). I continued on that regimen up until I moved from Seattle to LA Calif about 8 years ago and until I ran out of my supply. Circumstances after my move were such that I didn’t find a new psychiatrist for several years and when I did see one my most immediate needs were related to depression. I had never really understood the pervasive impact that ADHD had on me and the difficulties were more easily (though inaccurately) described as depressive. Financial concerns combined with the lack of success with the anti-depressant regimen caused me to give up on that psychiatrist after less than a year. Finally, after finding a new GP and going through his rigorous new patient protocol just 9 months ago, he RE-initiated a preliminary diagnosis of ADHD and prescribed Adderal… which I’m finding some success with. I’m now doing a lot of research on ADHD… research and information I wish I would have had all my life. Your video told my life story!
I just wanted to say thank you, Bryan! About a year ago, I finally accepted something wasn’t right and stopped trying to constantly “fix” myself and think I was just a person plagued with a life of being abnormal or not good enough. I sought help from a therapist and eventually a psychiatrist as well. I am now diagnosed and on a medication and my life is completely changed. You do such a good job of explaining symptoms that aren’t commonly known. You have helped me truly understand myself and the WHY of why I do things. Lol Your videos are extremely helpful!
Hi Bryan, I wanted to say ‚thank you’ for this video, for being vulnerable and so open about your struggles. I cried listening to you as I found myself in almost everything you described. I’ve not been diagnosed and I don’t think this idea would even cross anyone’s mind. I don’t even know how I came about thinking I might have ADHD. I’m 38, by the way, and for the past decades I felt like the biggest loser where I just couldn’t get my **it together. I knew I was smart yet my life is in total mess, it’s pure chaos! So, I just thought I’m incapable and stupid. I was never fidgetty or active as a kid and that’s not changed. If anything, I am seen as lazy as often I am too exhausted to do anything after a busy day at work as my job’s very demanding. So I put all my energy into surviving a day and then I’m like a zombie for the rest of the day. What blew my mind was the part about the ticks. Ever since I was 3 or 4, I’ve been picking my lips to the point they bled and now they are almost white. Nothing could stop me as I’d even pick them in my sleep. It’s the hardest habit to ditch as I don’t even know I’m doing it. I also pop my knuckles constantly. This has been an eye opener and it encouraged me to get diagnosed. I am feeling hopeful for once as noone could ever understand that my struggle was real. Thank you ❤️❤️❤️ Wishing you all the best for the future
I was also not one to bounce off the walls in school. Pretty chill personality and lifestyle, always busied myself with something that had my interest, but generally got the required things of life done... my coping mechanism was basically never taking on anything that had a requirement. Under-performing at work, avoiding raises and responsibility where possible, but working hard enough to be indispensable, because I feared that if I was in charge it would either consume me until I burned out, or I would fail at it. And after work there was no life, it was collapse and try not to derail the next day. Might do something on a weekend, but those too might be recovery. At any rate, got diagnosed at 38 with a pretty moderate case of ADHD, and 1 year in, and the results have been dramatic. 20 years of half-finished projects, and about half of them finished in a single year, while also taking care of other life necessities much easier. On the work front, just much more organized, and not totally burning out with a brain full of mush by 2pm, and often able to be more helpful in the evening on the home front after work instead of collapsing every night. And it isn't like I am superman, and life is easy now... because things are absolutely not easy. Just a lot easier. I still have some epicly rough brain days where my head is in an absolute fog even with meds... but that is just a couple days every month or two, where before I would have a clear head a couple days every month or two. Taking on new undefined tasks is still really hard, or learning new tasks when being interrupted can be a large hurtle still... but a lot less hard, and I can get back to focused much easier. Really it is a mixed bag - on the one hand, life has been a bit of a mess building for 20 years, so it is a realistic expectation that it would take 2-3 years to make up for that lost time, and I feel like I am making great head-way on things that have bothered me for a very long time. But on the other hand, I have 20 years of trained learning that when you feel good you spend every once of energy you have knocking things out because you just dont know when that opportunity will arise again... as a result I feel like over the past year I have perhaps put a little too much effort on knocking out projects rather than paying attention to my kids. And to be fair, a lot of the projects I am doing are projects that benefit them... but they are not of an age where they care about that, they just see me as unavailable unless they want to help me, and I need to spend a little more time focused on what they want to do. The hard part is that the meds really make some things scream at you to be done, and it is hard to fight that while playing some made-up game with no real rules that your kids want to do for a while. I would say that the meds have made me a more effective person... but probably a worse dad. When I was fried after work I wasn't the best dad either... but I was at least more fun.
I'm 80 and have had strong realizations regarding ADHD (no medication) I have every symptom that you refer to, but wasn't fully identified with start-up problems. I understand what you are saying about making the task small but in my case, that task can feel impossible. My start-up, unfortunately, is when I am under pressure the bigger the pressure the better the performance. My realization poem. ADHD The one-legged man saw no path ahead. Clutching at chances he caught in the air. Only the moment, no tomorrow was there? He was blind to the debris behind in his wake. He was caught in a trap, locked in a cage. The cassette explained a hopping bipedal here in the zoo. Some saw him high; some saw him low; all saw him with two. A spectacular show, those stories he told while rolling downhill. No one had noticed he only had one, the tales he told were as if he had two. The cassette was right, and the cassette was wrong. That one-legged man was very confused, he also saw two. It never occurred that he only had one. The one-legged man, now incredibly old, his energy spent from hopping around. Grew tired of running against others with two. Something was wrong, patterns emerged. He suddenly woke from this dream so very disturbed. All the debris he saw in his wake overwhelmed. His tears streamed for him; his tears streamed for them. He finally realized he was a two-legged man who only had one. That one-legged man is me.
This is my first time hearing about Rejection Sensitive Disphoria. As soon I heard and understood the symptoms it was like a light in my dark world finally flipped on and I got a clear visual of the emotional problems that been plaguing me my whole life. Knowing I already have knowledge and tools to put that aspect of myself in its proper place was a huge euphoria hit. Thank you soo much for sharing this video, I have so many more things to look forward to now. 😂
I've been off my meds for 16 years. I have a medication evaluation in 2 days as of this comment. I just got to the part where you explain that you were considering becoming a marine. This video popping up out of the blue, and you taking yourself off for the same reason I did (I ended up serving my 4 years), at this time in life, makes me think that I'm on the right path. Thanks for this, my guy.
Omg so relatable, having ADHD unmedicated is so hard. I was only diagnosed at 24, a month ago! I'm begining my medication today, super hopeful! Thank you for your video
I periodically re watch your regardless of the fact that you uploaded this video almost two years ago because it reminds me I am not alone in this world. thank you my dude, I hope you are doing well.
The ticks thing is interesting. I've noticed recently I've picked up a weird thing where Ill raise my eyebrows briefly for no reason and almost involuntarily and I'm not sure why. Wonder if its related or something else. And the object permanence thing. Just as a recent example, I'm currently on a work trip, and while packing I had to spread all of my clothes and other belongings I was taking onto my counter and go through a checklist a second time just to be sure I had it all before putting it all in a bag. If I pack my bags the night before, even though I know I put my wallet in my bag (for example) for some reason in the back of my head I start thinking "but did I reallllly pack my wallet?" and start losing my mind until I actually put my eyes on it again and verify the wallet is indeed in my bag.
@@BryanJenks I have tics and adhd but only motor ones. Sometimes it is my breathing but will move to me moving my shoulders, twitching me nose, popping my jaw. To the point of at the end of the day my jaw hurts. It’s like my joints need to pop but a lot of it is sub conscious. At one point I really thought my meds caused permanent tics but it may just be my adhd
Thanks so much for posting this. I just started ADHD treatment recently and the research Im doing is so validating. Hearing you talk about RSD, or things like a tendency to fall asleep while driving really resonate with me.
I'm 71 & have a few close friends, but they are not expecting me to be in constant contact. But as soon as we do communicate it's comfortable, we're glad to touch base again. I'm that way with my sisters too. I do give myself reminders to give someone a call or send a note. Old fashioned, I know, but who doesn't love to get something personal in the mail?
@@BryanJenks I did too. I have a close cousin who still sends birthday cards, Christmas cards, mother's day, etc. I send her an occasional card just because I know it means so much to her. My family who used to send me mail have all passed away. & The practice with it.
Dude this really helped, it's like you're my clone. Some of those symptoms were so obscure, you never really hear about them. Like the tics - that blew my mind, the feet tapping and phone case fidgeting - I do the exact same. ADHD symptoms are often listed very vaguely. I never even thought about the RSD, I assumed that was just me. I've suspected I have ADHD for a long time now but this just convinced me that it's time to get it checked. Thank you so much.
Thank you for sharing your insight on ADHD. I’ve been on medication for ADHD for the past 11 years and I have many ups and downs with my Adderall. Finding that balance has been challenging. I appreciate you sharing your experience and discussing emotional dis-regulation and object permanence. I call object permanence “out of sight, out of mind”. The struggle to be a good friend and partner is real and I appreciate your tips. Many don’t understand that you truly don’t intend to forget them and do really care. I’ve done so much research and watched countless videos and you are the first person who has really explained object permanence in a clear direction way. Thank you for that. I truly feel you should continue sharing what you learn and discover. You have a gift on translating that information in a way we all can resignation with it. Thank you!
This was so unbelievably helpful. Just diagnosed as combined adhd at severe level for symptom impact. I can’t say how deeply the rejection sensitivity dysphoria bit hit home. Sat with my wife and we’ve just had a heated episode today and it was amazing to hear you describe it. Got an appointment to discuss meds for the first time on Friday. This has helped hugely as I general avoid any and all meds. Thanks so much for posting this 👍🏼🙌🏼
This video just got recommended to me and I’m so glad it did. I was diagnosed at 7, took meds until I was about 13 and now at 26 I’m looking into getting on meds again. There’s a lot I could say but you mentioning the tics and the rsd really resinated with me. And it was really nice. Also the people pleasing and the stuff about not getting attention as a child and how that can affect us really hit me hard. Thank you for this video. Sorry rsd is hitting me hard lately and I don’t really know how to talk when I’m in a rut like this. Have an amazing day❤️
Wow this is tremendous stuff. I’m 69 and was diagnosed 3 days ago. I’m reading all I can get my hand on but you’ve just explained so much. I was laughing and crying at the same time. The section on RSD explains my entire emotional life. I get regular bouts of depression which I’m now beginning to think could be a result of a life of adhd rsd . A huge Thankyou. I shall watch for further observations with great interest. Regards Pete (uk)
This was fantastic. Being a fellow ADHD adult who also struggles with RSD but only recently learned it was part of my ADHD, I'm so impressed that you were comfortable being so beautifully humble. Thank you for putting yourself out there like this. This was great! You shared a lot that I look forward to sharing with my high school daughter who's struggling immensely with RSD right now. I'm here looking for ways to help her. Thank you again! I will now be checking your channel for similar content... Hope to learn more. Suggestion: Do a video about the super power of ADHD when you can harness it as a gift.
Thank you for this video ! I’ve had adhd since I was a young child but back in the late 70’s you didn’t hear about this at . I just thought I wasn’t smart . After I had my daughter and she had a lot of focus issues , got her checked and she was diagnosed. Then the light turned on for me too . I absolutely hate having this so always looking for more info to help my daughter and myself . Thanks !
Really appreciate you putting out such a personal video to help others. I have suffered for 50 years now and my life is a complete mess because of my lack of ability to focus and follow through. My personal relationships have suffered greatly, my business has suffered and all because I never took the time to try to figure out what is going on in my head. I have learned I have pretty severe ADHD and that is why mind is constantly running on high speed and switching from task to play to ideas to oh I need to get this done. It is so bad that for example if I need a tape measure but know I need to go upstairs to find one on the way up I get distracted and wind up doing something else and completely forgetting why I was headed up stairs. It’s terrible and my entire life has been this way. Having this problem has not stopped me from starting a successful business, I have man aged to maintain a 27 yr marriage, raise 4 beautiful kids with my wife but during all of this I’ve personally struggled so badly. Listening to you describe what you have dealt with made me really feel like I’m not alone and it lifted my spirits, I mean man when you talked personal relationships or simply remembering birthdays and how you were very sensitive I thought wow listening to myself. You further encouraged me to not be ashamed or embarrassed to speak with my doctor and tell him exactly what has been going on. You’re awesome for sharing your story. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing your experiences with RSD. Of all my symptoms, this one has caused the most shame and catastrophic problems for me. Rage quitting jobs, being nasty during disagreements, and losing frieds has caused more damage in my life than any of my impulsivity or lack of motivation. Thanks again!
i'm right there with you and the 'rage quitting'. Maybe not rage sometimes, more like "im done here and a ghosting. or impulsive "I quit" email complete with a laundry list of reason working there sucks so there is very little chance of recovery. Burn baby burn!
@@vooo1314 My rage quits are quiet, but absolute. The last one saw me simply unplug my laptop, wipe my company cell phone, and hand them to my boss (along with my keys) with a "Nope," before I walked out the door for good.
@@shannond2707 OMG! I so totally get that and have done similar things too many times. But you know what? Too many companies hide behind that 'at will' clause but that clause also states the employee can quit without notice, too. But yeah... I get it. It hits some point where you can't stand another minute no matter how good the paycheck.
You literally spoke my life (minus the tics lol) thank you so much for sharing. I forget things all the time and things I don’t see. Friendships are hard. I have to set a reminder or always be reminded to reach out. I used to set reminders for my fiancé bc I’d forget him until the day is over.
Yes I forget people a lot, too, people I really care about. It's frustrating how most people don't understand the condition and think it's just an inability to concentrate. The transitions from one mindset to another can be just as difficult.
Hi Bryan! I had a MAJOR breakthrough today thanks to you and your video. Thank you so much! I'm slightly below 40 and have struggled with RSD my entire life. I had no idea what it was until now!! Ahhh! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
This was the best video on ADHD I have ever seen ❤️🔥🙏🏻 thanks. It’s like you were describing all the things I noticed. I was going to say that the zombie thing was DEFINITELY too high a dose. I got the same thing when I tried it. The obsessive rumination on social events… single words. Ruining your whole day. The first day I took Adderall it was like someone flipped a switch and I got my mind back. All those just shut off and I could understand social relationships so much better. I actually sobbed with joy the first day I took the medication. I knew that I could finally have a life. A real life and use my gifts. Stop people-pleasing and being what others wanted. I have an IQ of 155, but I nearly flunked so many times. In high school I was class rank 335 out of 365 or something. I discovered caffeine in my junior year and I was actually able to play soccer and get my grades up enough to graduate at the bottom of my class. I did so well on the ACT, that I got into college on probation and it was an EPIC struggle-I didn’t even know what to listen for or how to take notes. I discovered neurotransmitter precursors, and began taking phenylalanine and tyrosine and I started to get good grades in college. I did all kinds of behavioral intervention too-snapping myself with wide rubber bands when my attention wandered, using Reese’s Pieces every time I turned a page studying, pumped good students for note-taking strategies, etc. Lol. Eventually with caffeine pills and neurotransmitter precursors I graduated with honors. Then I went to graduate school and surpassed all my professors, but the effects began to not work as well. Later I was able to get on Adderall and I resisted for a long time because I went to graduate school in behavioral neuroscience and I didn’t want to be addicted. Plus I had friends who died from drug abuse. My research area was drug abuse. Finally I caved in and went on Adderall after my brother told me how it helped him and I figured I was old enough that long-term effects wouldn’t matter so much. So now I am in the process of revolutionizing the world. I am a writer and theorist. I have done so many things since I started on medication and become who I was really meant to be. Thanks so much for this again. So helpful. I totally have the problems with relationships and the need to have things spread out in front of me YES. That’s why I need my own library and office because it might be messy, but I know where everything is!!! 😂🥰👍🏻 This video opened my eyes and was more helpful than all the videos from doctors I ever watched! I think it is because doctors generally do not have ADHD, or maybe mild ADHD in a rare case, so they don’t understand and they think it’s just a matter of “willpower” or “organizing a system”. But I literally cannot do any of that or maintain it without “normal” neurotransmitters. Doctors generally cannot imagine what it is like. I didn’t even know I was interrupting people in conversations or why or anything. People thought I was stupid but I knew things they never dreamed of because their definition of intelligent included being organized and social (via dopamine). 🤷♀️
this comment is AWESOME. I'm glad you've found success in life even if through struggle, these disorders are on a spectrum so if something im doing works for you that is both luck and fortunate. im happy for you :)
Thank you very much for this video. Its always so weird when you are not diagnosed yet to see strangers talking about their adhd and im like you are describing my life in detail right now. And its true i can relate to every single detail. It gives me hope that my life is going to be better in the near future.
I am a 44 year old woman who jus started a career as an insurance agent. After a full blown breakdown I’ve had to evaluate where my failure was coming from. I’ve been learning that I have always struggled with ADHD but when I was a kid there wasn’t really a formal diagnosis for it. I know I My break down came from not being able to have the needed executive function for the complex tasks I was trying to do. Im just now in the process of diagnosis and your video popped up. This was very helpful for me to hear this. I recognize much of what you experienced in myself. Thanks for sharing
You are so great at explaining adhd in ways I struggled to but most definitely felt! Thank you for making these videos, so I can better explain myself to others. I feel less alone also, to know there are other brains like mine. ❤️
I’m 19 and was finally able to get diagnosed without my mother telling me I don’t need meds! (She works in the pharmaceutical industry and things all meds are bad) I’m about to go pick up my first ever script and couldn’t be more excited!!
Glad you’re getting the help you need! It’s also frightening that someone working in the pharmaceutical industry thinks what they do is bad. that could negatively impact patients and their care
Maybe if she watched one of Russell Barkley's talks, she would have a better understanding. Not everyone who takes ADHD meds needs them, but it can absolutely be a game-changer for those who do! The funny thing is, once you take medicine for ADHD and see what you're capable of, it seems like it's easier to come up with coping mechanisms that work for you even if you decide not to take the medicine, or miss it. You know, bc you have ADHD lol. I had gotten so discouraged and overwhelmed, but after taking medicine for a few months now, I'm getting my feet back under me and I can see what is possible again! It's a learning process that changes over time. You'll do wonderfully, I'm sure! Just use the meds as a stepping stone, not a crutch! Good luck to you 😉✌️
I know it's 3 ;years late and thank you so much, I have had the RSD symptoms my entire life and never knew what it was called or that other people experienced it until I watched your video. Thank you!
Thank you for this awesome video! Very interesting and educational. Almost everything you mentioned I fully empathise with. It was only last week when someone (with ADHD) pointed out to me that the way I work is “hyperfocusing”, because when I’m really into something, the entire world outside my work disappears. I had never heard this term before then, and had no idea it was an ADHD ‘thing’. Gosh, and it’s been one revelation after the next ever since. The object permanence thing is fascinating. I’d observed this in my own behaviour, knew it was OCD, but didn’t know it was associated with ADHD. Objectively, one knows that it’s enough to check something once or twice, and that repeated checking is patently absurd. But clearly there’s a reason our brains are making us think: *the task was not completed, check again.* I recall reading that the feeling of task completion is related to dopamine too. I’ll have to read more about it. And thank you for being so open about your struggles, especially the emotional ones - I think it’s incredibly brave of you and will help others reveal themselves too.💯
Thank you so much for introducing me to the concept of RSD. Everything you described about it and the from what I read about it, my mood fluctuations, and people avoidance made so much sense. I have always suspected I have ADHD since a long time, unfortunately I never had the money to get treated properly, I am finally close to fixing the mess I have made of my life, but despite how much damage ADHD does to my grades and work performance, the damage that RSD has done to my personal relationships is my biggest regret, hopefully I will be able to sort these things out in the future with some help. Also Obsidian has been a huge help for my forgetful mind.
RSD is the worst. my relationships ad social skills were trash before re-starting my medication and learning more about myself and the disorder. It's such a challenge. Glad something i've done has been helpful :)
I didn't even know that RSD was a thing until very recently. I have been struggling with it all my life, Never even been able to put words to it, except, why is life so damned painful. It is really comforting to know others also share it.
Definitely would like to see more of this. So informative, really well explained, helps to understand since I don’t have it but my son does. Please do more. Your account of living with this disorder reminds me to always be mindful of what my son is going through.
This video actually just made me feel better about almost all of the topics you pointed out. 6 months ago I finally decided to go to a psychiatrist around my 34th birthday and was diagnosed with ADHD. I started seeing a therapist every week and discussed many of the things you talked about but I was not aware that a lot of these behaviors are typical with ADHD. Especially the emotional detachment/not displaying emotions, letting friendships drift away, forgetting everyone's birthday, forgetting to even say hello to people you see everyday.
How did you find the psychiatrist and therapist? I have ADHD like symptoms (not being able to put things in drawers or I'll forget they exist is one ridiculous example, unable to do tasks at work - and the social problems. All spot on. Right now parents are bugging me to talk to me because I never do but I'm constantly overwhelmed and can't deal with that... )... I've tried getting help multiple times and don't know where to go, when I try, I can't find anyone taking new patients, etc. . . Argh
@@ModMINI I Googled psychiatrist that were accepting patients. I found a company by the name of Lifestance that had a close location. The number was a general number to a call center, found out they are in almost every state, and the person helped me find an available provider. I was doing in person visits by choice for both the Psych and Therapist but then switched to Telehealth services instead(just seeing the doctor online instead of in person). Just try to focus on the major issues you have when you go for your first Psych visit. It's easy to get lost on a tangent talking about little things and forget to cover all of the key topics. That's were the Therapist will come into play. If the Psych believes you to have ADHD they will more than likely order a QB Test that you will have to take. It basically measure your attention and how much you fidget while concentrating. Only when the doctor has determined you have ADHD will they offer to prescribe a stimulant/other medication and/or have you try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Hope this helps!
After watching this video it became very clear to me that I had a huge avoidant attachment problem. It became a problem when I was about 3 (I'm 17 now) where I completely closed off who I was as I was too afraid of being hurt for just being myself and became extremely lonely. I began to really notice just how much these unresolved problems were screwing up my life so I'm currently in the process of being diagnosed for ADHD after finding out my sister had it. I just wanted to let you know how this video put things into perspective for me. Wish I could of found this sooner but keep doing what you're doing!
Great video! I think a lot of people who have ADHD, be it diagnosed or non-diagnosed, resonate a lot with what you're saying and maybe it will help people who haven't been diagnosed yet to bring up the courage to see a doctor about it. I think it's really great to hear about the medication, how it affects you, how it helped you and what the drawbacks or limitations are. Like the kinda "cyclic" problem of building tolerance to the Ritalin and having to put it off for a little while in order to get the proper effectiveness back. Regarding the stuff you said about ticks - I think all that fidgeting, popping joints and all that is most likely covered by the "hyperactivity" part of ADHD. I've just watched another video by a British Psychiatrist who also went into detail about the three types of ADHD: 1.) people who only or mostly just suffer from the attention deficit 2.) people who only or mostly just suffer from the hyperactivity 3.) people who generally suffer from both a lot The hyperactivity part often doesn't manifest AS MUCH in adulthood anymore because we've learned to "behave" and basically force ourselves to "fit in" more in order to avoid trouble or quite frankly... being perceived as a jerk (e.g. when constantly interrupting people in conversations, general impulsivity, etc.) So I do think that such ticks can be part of ADHD, I don't really think that they're in the same ballpark as the stuff from Tourette's Syndrom - even though both are involuntary. I also like Anita's stream a lot - she's super wholesome and really smart. She's super good at expressing herself with words, it's incredible how accurate her verbal elaboration's are.
Just diagnosed with ADHD yesterday and started taking medication right away. What's mind-blowing is that the Venn diagram between your experience and mine is almost a circle. I've always thought that it was my fault that I struggled with attention, impulsivity, prolonged focus on things that are not interesting and/or not urgent, not being organized, etc. I slowly spiraled into depression for not having self discipline and generally not being successful as my friends. This video shed light on why I'm the way that I am and helped me to stop self criticizing and self loathing. Thank you so much. That whole bit about object permanence was truly eye-opening. It explained everything why I like to organize and plan stuffs/tasks/projects/schedules in certain ways. I cannot thank you enough.
This is the most remarkable video and articulate explanation of what it is like to have ADHD and the experience of the impact of medication on it. I am 72 with a late diagnosis at age 54. Going on medication was a miracle experience for me. Prior to my diagnosis I created a world view and coping strategies and habits to function in the world I experienced. After my diagnosis and with the support of medication I have spent the last 18 years learning about my ADHD so I can then unlearn a lifetime of strategies and habits that either did not serve me as I thought they did or no longer serve as I understand this neuro-diversity that is me. Of course, you letting go of what does not serve means and then learning about and experiment with new things to replace it with ADHD which impedes new learning takes time and the effort often feels exhausting until enough small pieces and successes build up into a supportive habit. One thing about your video is that for the things we have in common and I resonated with I knew you share my inner life. I am just coming away heart-broken at the end of a 7 year relationship with a woman who has been my friend for 42 years. Some of the relationship dynamics that cause problems were new to me which can now see played themselves out, yet again. For these such things you mentioned that I did/do not recognize in myself, yet, or have words for, you opened up new possibilities in terms of self-awareness and approaches to learn (after much unlearning of the old). Hopefully some of these new possibilities when applied could leading to a better, more fulfilled life for me, and your other viewers. I have many others to share this with. Thank you.
I recently learned that I have ADHD, and things are suddenly so clear to me about why it has been so difficult to function as a “normal” adult. Thank you for sharing your story and what you have learned. I resonate with almost everything you said and found your video very helpful and comforting in a way.
Thanks for sharing! This is actually one of the very best videos I’ve seen on ADHD. It’s all so relatable. I’d really love to see more videos on ADHD from you. Some things I’d be interesting to hear more about are: 1. your medication’s effect on your emotions. You say you would avoid and repress and not be able to process without meds. Do you actually feel your emotions more? Like get in touch with them? Know your feelings better? There’s always talk about the roller coaster of feeling and intensity of feelings, but research also shows that ppl with adhd often can’t get in touch with their feelings and know what they are feeling. If you also avoid and repress from avoidant attachment f.ex. then feelings will be very unknown. I wonder if medication effects that. I have heard people who started feeling feelings they never had felt before, like happiness, affective empathy, even love and also anger. It’s so interesting. I’d love to hear your thoughts/experiences on this. 2. They say ppl with adhd have trouble understanding not only their own, but other people’s feelings. And thus lacking ability for mentaliziation. This can lead to not being able to take other people’s perspectives. And when there’s also a lack of feeling affective empathy, this can lead to social difficulties of course, and be damaging to relationships and to partners, and children (for parents). So, apart from the inability to focus, and thus not focusing on partner/friends in conversations, and the lack of object constancy, there can also be the empathy issues, both emotional and cognitive empathy. Do you have any thoughts on this? 3. I have read a lot about adhd, but the object constancy was a bit of a new term to me. It perfectly explains all those practical issues you talked about, but I also think it might explain why some ppl with adhd can be very black or white in their thinking and feelings. A lack of object constancy will make you see a person as all good or all bad. You won’t be able to keep more aspects of a person in your mind at the same time. So if a person makes you feel negative feelings they will be coloured all black. And you cannot see how everyone have a bit of all kinds of traits and they are just a whole, human person. It’s just either black or white. And when they are painted black, your memory will paint all memories of them black as well, affected by the negative feelings of now. (Also an aspect of episodic memory). I think this can also partly explain some of the stories you tell of earlier relationships. When it all goes black there’s nothing to love, and it feels like you never even loved them, and never even was infatuated and put them on a pedestal painting them all white. This will all be gone. 4. The avoidant attachment will also make you repress all those confusing feelings, and you will mostly just feel a constant low-grade irritation, annoyance and even low-grade depression. I wonder how medication can affect this? Just me thinking out loud. 5. I love the way you explain RSD. Never heard it explained to well. It’s very interesting that it can actually lead us to push partners and others away, instead of relating and attaching, out of fear of rejection, or even from not being able to process feelings of rejection, and thus just go silent and withdraw causing more damage to the relationship, and self sabotage so in the end there’s nothing but those negative feelings again. 6. Did you have this constant feeling of restlessness? Or unease? And did it calm down on medication? How did you deal with it before? I have seen ppl having a constant need to either do things like extreme sports, or work a lot, or play an instrument or whatnot, and just never being able to be calm and present with the ppl in their lives. This can also be a relationship-killer. I wonder if medication will affect those feelings so you can be calm and present, and just not have the constant need to escape because of restlessness/boredom. 7. Did medication affect the way you relate to time. Sorry for so many questions and a rant. I was very inspired by your amazing video, and so my adhd took over there for a bit. Thanks again!
great thing to send me in my FAQ report: github.com/BryanJenksCommunity/FAQ/discussions instead of the youtube comment, the format here makes me run from long form comments lol but at least for #1, therapy helped the most with that
Thank you for this. It definitely speaks to me. I have an assessment coming up and I’m worried about how I can articulate myself about what I go through everyday... this video has certainly helped! Big thank you Bryan
I'm curious, how did your assessment go? I just had mine and the person I talked to was really good about fishing the right information out of the "brain soup" that is my mind.
Me too my First Zoom appointment with Psychiatrist is in like an hour!? I stayed up all night….. ugggggg But I can do this! Lol I really hope. My ass is all 45 years old 🤭😁 I’m ready as I’m gonna be, I’ve got like a month of solid notes. To help me communicate all this out ….🤞🏻 Take Care!
Bryan, thanks so much for your transparency in making this video. My 9 year old son was just diagnosed with ADHD Combined Type. Your ability, as an adult, to articulate what may also be going on inside my son is so helpful. Putting him on medication is a concern for us, but hearing testimonies like yours give insight into what can be the benefits. It's also a blessing to see you thriving at life. Thanks again.
i wish my parents had put me on medication earlier, the medication helping to reinforce good habits and behaviors while having the neuralplasticity of youth would have greatly benefitted me as an adult and helped with medication reliance. caveat im not a medical professional
Hi, I'm 45 and absolutely convinced at this point that I have ADHD as well as being autistic (still on the waiting list for diagnosis of either condition). I also experience that rejection sensitivity and, after watching another video that addressed the topic, I believe that it comes from having been so used to rejection or not being accepted for who I am and having to "mask" from childhood onwards. As a result, I feel rejection even when it's not intended. The example you gave of having an argument with your SO - same thing with me. Then the feeling of rejection results in me going into emotional shutdown, at which point I can't feel anything except an empty pit in my chest, and that can last for 24 - 36 hours.
Interestingly enough, I first tried to watch this video when I was suspecting that I might have ADHD and I was desperate, and just needing change; medication or whatever! 3 weeks later I still haven’t been diagnosed but I’m 1000% positive that being ND has been why I’ve been “stuck “ my whole life. Anyways, when I first started watching the video I couldn’t just sit and watch him sit in one spot just talking. So I tried to listen. Started falling asleep. I started taking nootropics and using mushroom supplements. It helped so much. First of all, I didn’t even know I HAD brain fog! After 39 years, I’ve just accepted that I think differently from everyone else (boy was I right). This time, i was not inky able to watch the video, I actually enjoyed quite a bit. It’s cool to know that we are not alone in this because people can be very very harsh concerning ADHD.
![How I Live With Adult ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) [Time Stamped]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/5uI3xymx4do/mqdefault.jpg)
![How I Live With Adult ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) [Time Stamped]](/img/tr.png)
Timestamps because im long-winded and if you're (Possibly) ADHD these will be essential to getting through the video :)
0:00:00 Beginning
0:00:11 What we're talking about today
0:00:20 czcams.com/video/5uI3xymx4do/video.html
0:01:46 When I was diagnosed
0:02:31 What was the medication like when I was in high school
0:03:18 Why did I go off medication to begin with?
0:03:53 What were my medications then and now?
0:06:20 Sleeping While on stimulant medication
0:07:39 My dosage increase schedule
0:08:50 Developing a tolerance
0:09:06 Why having to go off the medication SUCKS
0:11:05 ======CHANGES======
0:11:28 ----- Impulsivity
0:11:34 Self control with food
0:11:49 Context switching and "Gear changing"
0:12:38 ----- Executive Functioning
0:12:50 Better seperation from enjoyable activities or subjects of hyperfocus
0:13:40 Overcoming the starting energy hurdle
0:15:17 Less distracted by notifications when i should be focusing
0:15:28 It's not about being *Distracted* its about the search for more ~*Stimulation*~
0:16:27 Why driving can be dangerous for me
0:17:12 ----- RSD - Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
0:18:50 ----- SLEEP
0:19:40 ======NEW THINGS I'VE LEARNED ABOUT ADHD======
0:20:12 ADHD people can have tics
0:20:23 www.twitch.tv/sweet_anita
0:21:52 Getting in trouble at work for motor tics / fidgets
0:23:23 ADHD issues with object permanence like babies and peek-a-boo
0:24:51 publish.obsidian.md/bryan-jenks/Object+impermanence+in+ADHD+affects+preference+for+top+level+structures
0:25:48 Object permanence issues affecting relationships
0:27:18 How I work around my brain to be a better friend
0:27:18 ----- 1 Important events calendar
0:27:57 ----- 2 Socializing prompts with spaced repetition software
0:29:00 ----- 3 A wonderful partner CAN help, but SHOULDN'T be obligated to
0:29:37 RSD Makes us into people pleasers
0:31:38 Avoidant Attachments
0:33:36 I Repeat, RSD is the WORST
0:35:13 Outro
@@AndreaDawnBrewer sounds like bullshit given the mountain of medical and psychological literature that abounds about the disorder
@@AndreaDawnBrewer sources?
@@AndreaDawnBrewer i meant more like research paper sources in medical literature. Robert Whitaker at first glance does not appear to have any official medical credentials which does not really help his credibility in my mind
Does ADHD gets worse during year long quarantine ? Instrusive thoughts etc
Thank you, that was quite informative. I have some of those same issues.
I’m 80 years old and feel like my whole life struggle has just been clarified. It has been a difficult road to travel and now, at this late date in my life, feel “authenticated” for who I am and how I’ve navigated and survived all these years. Thank you!
glad you got that from this video :)
You are wonderful
❤
❤
74 yo man here with the same reaction. So many things are clearer: how I worked, why I react the ways I do. Thank you for comments.
I love hearing other people talk about their experiences with ADHD. One of the biggest revelations that came from my diagnosis was the realization that there were other people like me and that I wasn’t alone. It was a major breakthrough for me emotionally and took a lot weight off of my shoulders.
❤️
Ditto
I am glad you mentioned the ticks. When younger I would find myself having these blinking fits I feel mentally I learned how to have better control to not do as much. Now older I still occasionally find myself doing it today. If I think about or talk about it that itself can set me off doing it, I guess in that way it almost sounds more like an OCD thing. I should add along with the eye thing I would do this weird thing bring my should and chin up to touch only one side at a time. That I don't remember all that well I just remember how I would be embarrassed so I worked really hard to get control over and I started to pay attention to the urge I would feel right before it would happen so then I could learn to catch that knowing what came next and I would do it but I was able to Just Disguise what I was really doing to then controlling it all together. Took a long time to get to that point but I did. Stress makes it worse that I have noticed.
Hey I feel you. I like talking about my experiences with ADHD and the medication they put me on when I was about five or 8 or so well into my middle school years and on and off in highschool and adulthood. If you would like, I could share-to you-my experiences and how being on the meds drastically changed who I was and came to be. If you see this comment and are in the mood let me know and I will sit down and ramble off a massive book about it(likely when I should be doing something else at that time).
Love the name, also same. 🐻🫂❤️
I just randomly burst into tears when you spoke about losing friends because of not staying in contact. Im 37 and still haven't bit the bullet and gotten a diagnosis. Im going to now tho.
🥺♥️
I’m 35 and feel exactly the same way! Don’t over think it, go get the diagnosis, I promise things will get better ❤️
Yep in the 40s here, just started on this journey but it’s helped more so far than anything else. The stigma against treatment is real, but it’s an illusion, ready to be broken through so you can be more fulfilled. 🥳
21 and i resonate with RSD, wanna get tested.
I’m 39 and just (finally after overthinking it for years) started treatment. I can’t recommend taking that plunge enough. You’ll then find yourself crying joyfully when you can actually use your brain better.
ADHD is the kind of thing that’s so hard for people without it to understand so videos like this make me very very happy. I feel more normal knowing I’m not stupid or a freak and that I’m just different in ways I can work around. Thanks so much for being so open about this cause you have no clue how valuable this is for people like me.
❤️❤️❤️
Well said
Oh man I feel your pain with the friendship issue. I not only forget to talk to them but then also struggle to think of the 'right' things to say when I do and also have so little energy that I can't really face seeing people. I've lost every friend I ever had that way. Hoping my recent diagnosis and medication will help.
social interactions are still hard especially as i might also apparently be ASD as well
You're not alone in your solitude.
@@BryanJenks how do you manage in large groups of people (+4 people with me) I dont have diagnosis for either but probably on spectrum with asd and definitely on adhd.
Me too!!!😔
Lost friends when they were needed most
I totally relate to the "can't think of the right thing to say" issue. So then I say nothing, time passes, and I can't respond because it would weird to reply after waiting so long, right? (Or so my brain says...) Finally got a diagnosis at age 51, but so many friends lost along the way.
i loved the way you described RSD! Hyperfocusing on hurt feelings is soooooo draining and one of the main things i struggle with when it comes to ADHD. I'm not currently medicated but i've been thinking about trying it.
its literally the worst part of the disorder.
Thank you for making this video 🌺
@@BryanJenks This is what made me seek therapy, my horrible boss from 2006-2009 lives in my head rent-free... (that crazy bitch) It never occurred to me that I was hyperfocusing on the hurt, but that feels true.
I’m a loose canon off my meds lol. One little thing can set me off. I can’t get over it like normal people. I’m actually surprised I’m still functioning, employed, and out of jail lmao.
Try looking in to taking vitaminD3 and Magnesium Glycinate first. These 2 things made a difference in changing my life. I was misdiagnosed and drugged. I became dependent and had to come off gradually. What I had was PTSD and adult ADHD . I started studying on things to do naturally. I feel like a human being now.
I'm on week three of my titration of meds after being diagnosed finally at 43. At first I thought it wasn't doing much but when you mentioned emotional regulation I audibly exclaimed, "Yeeeesssss!" It has absolutely helped there. I noticed when I had to speak to my daughter's principal about her behaviour (she's on a long waiting list for an ADHD & Autism assessment). Normally, because it's my child and I'm passionate about her receiving support, I would get loud or emotional when talking about her, but I found myself able to articulate myself in a rational way. I felt like a proper adult, hehe.
congratulations!
Yes!! The biggest change I have seen on my meds (newly diagnosed at 47) is my emotional disregulation. It is soooooo much better. It has had such a positive impact on my life, my marriage....it's unreal.
@@Nonya12608 I was diagnosed last week at 47...lol. I got my meds - Straterra and now I'm too worried about side effects to take it. I've been with my existing company for almost 23 years and finally figured out why I hate RTO...
@@calvintait3869 it's insane how everything just all of a sudden makes total sense. The only side effect for me so far were crazy insomnia for the first few weeks, major appetite depression (it also ridded me of my food obsession), and some nausea about an hour after I take it. All totally worth it (and some just plain awesome) in my opinion. I am also on Clonidine. Good luck, I hope it works well for you!
@@calvintait3869 how are you doing now?
This video came up on my auto-play while trying to learn more about my adhd and I'm so glad it did. I think this is the most relatable video about adhd that I've come across. RSD (in terrible combination with c-ptsd) has impacted my life so deeply and negatively, that I feel like I barely know who I am through the fog of years of masking and people pleasing behaviors. It impacts every decision I make and every interaction I have with other people. I hadn't been able to fully articulate these feelings until now. I appreciate the hell out of this video.
Girl! I know how how you feel! Hugs to you ..I am sitting here nearly in tears (which I don’t cry often these days)and reading your comment is exactly how I feel after I listened to him!
I'm just learning this terminology now at the age of 31. I was never able to get a diagnosis despite many difficult attempts due to an underfunded, incompetent, and indifferent medical system. Being predisposed to please others effectively prevents a person from negotiating with their employer or escaping abusive relationships. Having to expend a mountain of energy to achieve very little makes academia / employment unsustainable at best. Invisible conditions don't garner sympathy either. I'm surprised yours is the only comment I've seen mentioning c-ptsd, because after over a decade of trying to live like this, I have consistent flashbacks and can't function socially or professionally anymore; anxiety and depression virtually define me. I had to be ready to commit suicide before being given a disability income and even then, my government (Canada), was extremely reluctant to do so. Thank you so much for your comment; it's vital that people understand how torturous these conditions can be.
@@reynoldfroese8439 "Having to expend a mountain of energy to achieve very little makes academia / employment unsustainable at best. Invisible conditions don't garner sympathy either."
This really resonated with me! Exactly how I feel. I really should not be working. It took me a decade to get a Bachelor's degree, and it came at the cost of the last remaining ounce of my confidence, and actually obliterated my libido, and thus sense of worth and self. The combination of Rejection-sensitive dysphoria + office gossip and mockery (especially to those who are different/weird like me) is unsustainable...I hate it. But because it's an invisible condition, it's so hard to get sympathy. AND, just like you, medical practitioners have been ABYSMAL at diagnosing my ADHD. Many practitioners think it's still only a condition of hyper-activity and inability to focus on a given task. So frustrating how incompetent THE ACTUAL DOCTORS ARE with diagnoses when we have SO much information readily available on the Internet to learn about these conditions, with many Average Joe's who never went to medical school being more informed and educated than the practicing doctors themselves. Pathetic, really.
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, only now at 30 years old I've being diagnosed with ADHD. Being a woman - apparently it shows differently in girls - and after spending 10 years on escitalopram it was something that made really angry for a long time because of the time I lost not being able to focus, to learn, to study, to work properly, the friends thing is real too. I tried to go to therapy, my whole family saw the impulsivity, the inability to keep a schedule, a plan whatever, and so many of my relatives are therapists! It took me a really long time because I felt everybody failed me and it costed me YEARS of my life I'll never get back.
I agree with the emotional effects also, its was really a source of pain for me having to fulfill tasks that took me too long focusing on them and then not being able to. Like physically discomfort, caused me to cry. Also want to add the irritability, the mood swings, some depression. People considered I had a BPD.
im sorry for your struggles :(
Wow. I feel this. I was always just prescribed medication for depression or anxiety , every time I'd go to my doctor and describe my issues/frustrations, but always failed to explain myself ,and would end up getting misdiagnosed over and over and over again. Finally , at almost 30, my wife came to the doctor with me, resulting with me going to an actual specialist , and being diagnosed with adhd-c (thank goodness). But after looking into these videos, and reading and educating myself/medication ; I FINALLY feel like I am getting to "reality". Like I am actually myself for once; after feeling like I have wasted YEARS just "spinning my wheels for no reason".....I am still figuring things out, but just wanted to say something because of how much your comment resonated. I hope you are doing well/continue to do well. Peace
I’m 50 waiting on diagnosis I was on fluxetine fpr years anxiety depression. I was a single mum and. Although I’d tried my hardest my kids got taken off me.. they said no structure no routine messy home. Now I’ve it menopause I feel like I’m losing the plot x
If you keep taking meds you will age faster... Up to you what you do next
This video was awesome. I was diagnosed at 7 years old and took medication until I was a year and a half into college. I just thought I didn’t need it anymore or that what some people say “grew out of adhd” I had to drop out and go back. It took me 10x the amount of effort to do my classes but I ended up graduating. I was off of Concerta for 6 years and I struggled to keep jobs and relationships. Just realized it was all from RSD. I can’t believe it was adhd the whole time. I really thought I was just mentally crazy. I started self medicating with Thc, caffeine and nicotine daily. I’m 24 now and own my own business. Adhd was really getting in the way of my business and my marriage. I’m now back on Concerta 54 mg a day and I can’t tell you how happy I am to be back on my medication I finally feel like my old normal self. My wife, family and friends have all noticed a difference. I’ll never go off my meds. It has totally changed my life.
❤️ pretty much the same realization and ultimate return to treatment as you ❤️
I'm so happy for you! ❤️
That’s so great! I was 35 when I had the realization oh my god this is forever. I just remember thinking back how they said you would grow of it. No, it’s a thing.
That’s so great! I was 35 when I had the realization oh my god this is forever. I just remember thinking back how they said you would grow of it. No, it’s a thing.
This is among the best videos on ADHD I've seen and I relate to virtually all of the issues you have. I just got diagnosed at 36 and realised that it's basically ruined my life up to this point. The focus and other issues are bad, but the RSD is crippling to relationships, it's like there's something in you that exists to push away anyone who likes or cares about you. I just started the meds, but there's only a slight improvement so far, I hope things get better over time.
i wish you the best of luck, living with ADHD is an unbelievably difficult challenge
The RSD is what made me realize there has to be something wrong with me and caused me to seek help. I'm now diagnosed with ADHD and the meds help significantly when I remember to take them
Thank you for sharing my friend, I have absolute empathy for you. I have a father who is sociopathic and thinks that I made up all of that adhd and anxiety. while also toxicly keeps pointing out everything I have done wrong in the past. so living at home is rough and with my state I am still not ready for full time job. glad I can manage part-time at least :)
Kind of late to the party here and sorry if someone has already commented here on this but the “ticks” are called Stimming and every person in the world does it. In people with ADHD it’s a lot more pronounced and sometimes can be quite extreme. For me I have this muscle thing where they don’t feel comfortable and I have to stretch them out to feel ok. It can get almost unbearable when I feel excitement or something and it becomes more pronounced. It’s also something that made me feel crazy for a lot of my life and I hid it from people. Now that I know what it is I’m more comfortable with it
@@rebelshopblue it's so bad having skin picking with add. In the past I always bit my nails hut somehow stopped over time. I do bounc rmy leg often but the worst for me is head scratching.
DUDE! I trust cried through most of this video. I've been studying ADHD for like a month now and this is the most relatable and informative video I've come across so far. It's like you made a video about me and explained me to myself. Very eye opening, emotional, and soooo much needed. Thank you for this so very much 😢❤️
I’m in that mood too, took a walk during launch break on work to listen and cry freely
Same here. I'm going to doctor right now to get prescription for stimulants. I'm 38, and I never heard about these medications before. Thank you.
@@asddfg9689 never heard of Amphetamines?
Same here. I look forward to starting treatment.
I haven't even watched the whole video yet and I feel compelled to comment. My daughter was Dx'ed at 12 with ADHD, Inattentive Type, and we fought against meds until she was 14. We noticed a difference right away but it wasn't a silver bullet. She was subsequently Dx'ed with 2 additional learning disabilities and FINALLY at the age of 17 on the spectrum.
Rewind to her Dx, at which time I embarked on a massive research dive into ADHD and found myself alternating between laughing and crying as my lofe was being described in page after page.
That all being said, at the age of 38 i started concerta and it has been LIFE CHANGING. I always thought that I was lazy and it was always implied that I was selfish. When your whole life is a series of failures that can affect others, it then becomes a moral discussion instead of what it rightly is - a legitimate "disability".
I take the 36mg and no supplementary Ritalin, but being Inattentive Type, I need it to perk up, not settle down.
It is also somewhat ironic that I'm writing this before the pharmacy opens and before I've taken my meds because it is a tool and not a cure and ADHD has facilitated my forgetting to go to the pharmacy on Friday before it closed for the weekend.
The rules around ADHD meds are not very ADHD friendly, just thought I'd add that in there.
yeah i made a TikTok about the ADHD med BS. went to go pick up my Rx and i had to come back the next day because it wasnt the LAST day from my prior prescription... so i have to call 3 days in advance to renew and only pick up on the very last day of the script? how ADHD friendly is that BS -_-
I'm the father of a 10 year old with ADHD (and ASD), and we all hear you on the medication BS. And I know it's even worse for adults with ADHD Rxes. I get the connection with the Rx drug problem, but it really makes life so much harder for people (or parents of) those who actually need them.
Our last run-in was when the doctor screwed up and sent the refill to the mail order place instead of the local pharmacy, even though I stressed that I specifically needed it at the local one because we only had about four days worth and they take forever with the mail order. They sent it to mail order, and I had to repeatedly fight with them to get it fixed. We usually use the mail order because it's the only way to get a 3 month supply, which reduces the frequency we might run into a problem. But I'm always paranoid about it not getting here in time for some reason.
The previous time I had an issue was when the George Floyd riots happened. They closed a bunch of pharmacies here (I live in a suburb north of Minneapolis) and apparently our usual CVS was one of them. But they had our medication locked up in their system (this was before the mail order). They weren't answering the phone. We tried to get it transferred to another CVS, but they couldn't. Then we found out that they weren't really closed, but that their phone system had crashed, so they couldn't answer calls from the other CVS. We eventually got it transferred but it took a lot of phone calls and stress.
I can't imagine dealing with these issues while ALSO having ADHD and potentially not having my tool that made it easier to function!
I also have inattentive ADHD. I got diagnosed at age 9 but I quit my meds at age 14 for 7 years (i’m 22) and that was a mistake. Fortunately I’m doing better back on meds and I started an antidepressant as well since I have depression as well. It’s not hard for me to get my meds luckily I think maybe I’m in a good area or maybe I don’t come across a certain way. I wish they could make it easier though for everyone. Also I find that I can also function pretty well only on my antidepressant. My dad also has adhd and I’ve encouraged him to get help so hopefully he doesn’t face difficulty with getting meds.
Oh hey thanks for the reminder, I need to go tomorrow. 🤣
@@happysloth3208 , it's not about the way you come across but the laws/regulations in your state/province. It is considered a controlled substance and the statement these laws are conveying is that if one gets their pills early they'll sell them. It's ridiculous.
Damn dude, I started Concerta today and you just described the last 20 years of my life perfectly. I was diagnosed young, but didn't go on medication because I was stubborn. I wish I'd started earlier. I feel so much happier and calmer. I also struggled with the RSD thing. And today I feel so much like I don't care about anyone else's opinion of me. Most productive day of my life.
right there with ya mate. Like video says, 10 year gap, I regret not getting back on sooner!
I'm 37 and not diagnosed but I've discovered I'm definitely on the ADD spectrum because all the symptoms are my life. It affects my productivity and japan doesn't recognize adhd so they give zero crap if a person has condition. Never tried meds but moved to japan and all meds except Concerta are banned here. Retilij is prescribed for insomnia here, not adhd. So I'm on the fence if I should go to a clinic and get diagnosed so I could get Concerta prescribed. Does it have any bad side effects like destroying liver and such?
I have an exam in a week and yesterday had all the day to study, except I cleaned my apartment, cooked food, washed the dishes, watched videos about adhd, etc. And did 0% progress for the exam...
@@HaohmaruHL I am in Japan too, undiagnosed as well, and starting to think maybe it's time to start treating it. I also have a lot of concerns but maybe I owe it to myself to at least try. I know it's not covered by the national health insurance, so I'm not even really sure yet what I'd be looking at for costs. How far along are you at looking into getting the process started?
@@HaohmaruHL You could probably find out about Concerta online; I plan to do so. Also does coffee/caffeine help you? I find that it helps me a lot. I just have to make sure I allow enough time for it to leave my system to ensure adequate sleep.
I was the same. Resisted for 20 years… I actually sobbed the first day I took it. (See my comments too). An absolute MIRACLE drug, really. Congratulations on your new life as the real you! 🙏🏻❤️🕊
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, I would like to give them a try but haven't found any legit grower to get it.
@@elizabethwilliams6651Yes, dr.sporesss
A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels
@@Jennifer-bw7kuIs he on instagram?
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
Thank you for being transparent. I was just diagnosed at 40 and this video really helped me in my research. I have all the symptoms you have. All of them. My whole life I just assumed I sucked at life and now I know why. Its liberating. Thank you.
im glad you enjoyed the video :)
It's incredible once you're on the other side of diagnosis and treatment.
I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD. I just watched this video, having no idea what RSD is, and broke down in tears. This, after so many years and misdiagnoses, is my answer for why I am constantly struggling with emotional responses. I am SO THANKFUL to you for sharing this video, you'll never know how much this helped me.
♥️♥️♥️
Yeah, I've had disordered sleep my entire life. It was killing me. I was diagnosed in December, started medication in January. I sleep like a baby now. My anxiety is minimal, my depression is completely gone. There isn't a wall of awful around everything anymore. Who knew zoom-zoom pills would bring so much peace and order to my life?
Its really interesting about the sleep. I don’t sleep well (am 50) and suspect adhd. I had assumed the meds would make the sleep worse, v interesting they don’t
amazing what happens when you suddenly get back all those neurotransmitters you've been chronically starved of all your life ❤️
Were you on an antidepressant previously? If so, did adhd medication make your antidepressant unnecessary?
@@jessmtnz this is a good question
Zoom zoom pills 😂😂😂
"I's no that I'm distracted, it's that i need more stimulation". Wow finally putting words on something that I couldn't describe for years. I went down a rabbit hole of ADHD videos and I believe I need to get myself checked. thanks a lot
Glad the video resonated with you :)
And CZcams and Videogames are stimulating. I wonder how much dopamine withdrawal contributes to a lack of focus.
From a fellow ADHDer and psychiatrist, I found this video to be very informative and well articulated . Especially your view about and experience with RSD. I recommend showing this video to your close ones if they struggle to understand your adhd
im definitely not shy about telling them how things are for me and how i best receive information and process things, always willing to help and talk with professionals who work with other ADHD folks to improve understanding of the lived exerience :)
Watching videos like this warms the heart. It’s like , wait I’m not the only one who thinks like that??! The RSD part was huge. I had also wondered why if the wife and I had some minor argument after work, motivation and mood would be just wrecked and unable to work on any side project that evening. Thanks for the video!
The RSD effects are like suddenly deflating a balloon, except the balloon is all the energy and willpower i have to do anything and stay conscious
Dude this is incredible! I have ADHD and have been on concerta since 2014 and I was laughing the whole time because of just how relatable EVERY SINGLE THING you mentioned is. It's nice to know someone else can relate
♥️
👏👏
@@BryanJenks connect me text me
Victor, how do you find the concerta?
@@gedzy I just started taking it five weeks ago and despite initial stomach issues I'm seeing the benefits. Much more able to focus on stuff I'm not interested in, able to hold meaningful conversation with my partner. It is however alarming that I've gone 49 years of life without knowing this was my problem! All the best.
I have been on medication for just over 3 weeks now. It has already entirely changed my life. I don't sit around and do nothing all day now. I am sleeping SO much better and it's no longer impossible to get out of bed in the morning (i'm also a nightowl who cannot get out of bed in the morning). My house is clean and has been clean and tidy for THREE WEEKS. I have caught up on 6 weeks of uni work. I'm less sensitive to things. I am excited to return to work (I have been off for years now with anxiety and depression). I still have to put in work but the work is so less tedious. I am looking forward to life in a way that I haven't for three years. Also 100% agree with object permenance. ESPECIALLY with relationships. Another great example is I forget to water my garden if I don't leave my backdoor open so I can actually see it.
@@TPpizzle go away. imagine posting this degenerate stupidity on this video.
So happy for you :) its a blessing such helpful things exist for us
Glad to hear it! 🎉
Which medication?
I just got my ADHD diagnosis yesterday and I'm in my 30s. Makes so much sense of the things I've struggled with my whole life. I always just thought I was very sensitive, terrible at timekeeping and weird. I guess I still am 😂 but I can't wait to get started on medication. Unfortunately gotta wait another 4-6 months because UK waiting times but it's reassuring to know how much the medicine will help with.
How did you get diagnosed? Im in UK and my GP is not interested in anything, so who do I contact please
congratulations! :)
@@christinecox6049 that's terrible. Get a second opinion or change GPs. They have no right to behave like that.
I spoke to my GP last November and after doing a simple symptom checklist she referred me for assessment. If there are no NHS ADHD services in your area you can use a thing called Right to Choose to get a private assessment funded through the NHS. Just had my assessment with psychiatry UK.
@@christinecox6049 I know this is a month later.. but I ended up going private for my diagnoses, my GP will do a joint care thing with the private psychiatrist I went through.
33 and just got diagnosed today- start meds tomorrow!! Scared but excited.
So I’ve known and have been diagnosed with ADHD for 20 years. I see a psychiatrist every other week for med management and psychotherapy. I’m amazed that RSD has never come up. This video has blown me away. You’ve described in amazing detail how my mind works. I’m just glad there are other people out there like me. Thank you.
and there's even more to it lol it's crazy how pervasive the disorder is in ones life. Glad you enjoyed the video :)
This video is such a really valuable presentation Bryan. Your ADHD videos equate to the significance of Fritz Perls' videos of the 1960's and 70's. (There are many more such videos; Fritz just happens to come to mind.) Your presentations deserve to be brought to the attention of people teaching clinical psychopathology. They are that good. I have a masters in that field and I certainly have learned more about ADHD than I did in psychopathology class where we studied the DMS in detail.
That is high praise Robert, thank you very much, I appreciate your take on it with you expertise :)
I agree. The emotional dysregulation component impacts everything else that is going on and can exacerbate other symptoms. Thank you for your testimony, and let’s all bring awareness to this in our health care system. Medicating at the right dose can save us so much time, even if all it does is give our brain a bit of a rest from RSD impact.
I second this. I found out in grad school(2003) from my psychopathology prof that I have all the markers for adult adhd. I sat down with the chair of the department to talk about whether I was going to be successful in the program with some help from medication and cbt and he told me to stop looking for excuses and work harder.
Literally ten years later, I started taking vyvanse and suddenly became a whole lot more employable. I don't know if I'm ever going to get over my anger from all those years of people encouraging me to just work harder. I doubt I'll ever forgive my family, but my career is finally going somewhere, and my wife is awesome.
Big props Bryan, you're doing the Lord's work here.
This is one of the best ADHD videos I’ve seen! Thanks Bryan. I was diagnosed 5 years ago at 47, so being older, I’ve spent a very large portion of my life feeling like the world’s worst friend. Your description of object permanence describes exactly what I’m like. I had no idea this was why I could still feel fondly about a friend, but fail to keep in touch. I’m feeling really relieved that I’m not just a lazy a-hole! Also, I have a tic where if I even hear the word “tic” I have to raise my right arm and push it up into the air like I’m going to shoot a basketball so it cracks my elbow 🤷🏼♀️
I wish I could crack my fingers like you do-that was impressive! 😆
Kate, I’m about your age and going down the path to get my own diagnosis. I have a son and a brother with ADHD, so the chances are high that it’s also the source of my troubles. I have felt so bad about the friend thing too. I am terrible about keeping in touch with people. I have begun to tell people that I am not good at keeping in touch, but that it’s not ever my intention. I think it’s not so much object permanence that’s the cause, but more a time issue. I have a very poor concept of time, so I fail to realise just how long it has been since I contacted friends or family. I also tend to remember that I probably should get in touch, but I do it when I’m in the middle of doing something like driving, so I can’t act on it, and then I forget about it again. I feel SO bad about it!!!!
I'm so very glad you enjoyed the video :)
Omg. I’m like so shocked I had to pause the video. I’m at the part about Emotional regulation and rejection sensitivity disorder and my mouth is on the floor because I’ve felt this way my entire life. I literally thought I was the only one who felt this way. If something hurts my feelings I can’t function properly for the rest of the day. Probably won’t leave my room not even to eat. I got a dog this year and honestly he helps me get up and start my day because some days I don’t think I would be able to if it weren’t for him
My cats are my comfort creatures
I tried antidepressant which actually helped tremendously! I would stew over a scenario but with meds, issues just weren't issues anymore. Side affect was that I then felt no emotion at all. I couldn't make simple decisions because I didn't feel anything. E.g. would u like to see this movie? Don't know. Off meds. There r books with exercises that helped. E.g. you know this bad train is coming...speaking to my mom triggers me...so don't get on that train, just let it pass.
Me too i am do focused that i start analyzing every single moment even though most of the time i forgot smallest things
Ditto about the dog and cats. They are pretty much the only thing that keeps me going
me too! it will absolutely comsume me! and I just can't let it go. I thought all this time I was just sensitive. its amazing to know that people with adhd also have problems dealing with this !
This video blew my mind. I’m 50, and have been working on my depression with therapy and medication for 20 years. Recently, my son was diagnosed with ADHD. As we went through the process I realized I too had so many of the same challenges. I started pursuing a diagnosis for myself and have been curious to learn about ADHD medications. I am optimistic that this may finally address other challenges that I have long struggled with.
best of luck! i hope it all works out :)
ADHD is genetic so your story makes sense. I was diagnosed with adhd as a child and then forgot about it as I crashed and burned through school. I was diagnosed again in my 30s, started on Adderall and it changed my life instantly. I’m in my mid50s now, still taking Adderall, still married, no depression or anxiety, no car accidents or tickets since. I do still spend money impulsively but only after thinking about it for a long time first LOL I mean who doesn’t need a new sportscar? Good luck!
I'm 50, and been on and off depression meds...something just never fitted....gave up and decided I'm just insane.....I discovered I have ADD a few months ago and methyl phenidate CHANGED my life.....I've wasted my entire life not knowing 😥😥😥 ....wasting years and money on depression meds...see sawing on and off....if I'd discovered this decades ago my life could have been so diff. The relief is luckily not as big as my dismay mourning the LOSS potential, but I do feel that loss.
@@deb9ragorton742 that sounds amazing! Could you describe some of the ways the ADD meds have changed your life? I have my diagnosis coming up soon and am hoping for a similar outcome.
@Henry's Hobbies True...adhd is often misdiagnosed as depression...is why so many are on SSRI's.
But the fact is, more people have ADHD than true depression....myself included - and am just now realizing...
Hey, I'm NOT depressed. But, why do I still have all these little challenges later in my life and now they're more noticeable?
I never was an 'organized person'.
But in my youth and even middle age, life lived me!
Now that I'm older, kids grown up and out, friendships fading, some friends & relatives no longer on this plane - my dog is gone now too... I'm not depressed, or lonely- Have many interests, but damn - I'm having a huge challenge organizing my life. Life is no longer living me; now I have to plan it, organize it... and I'm at a loss 🙄
Realizing, in retrospect, I've always had these challenges & quirks...more noticeable now because the whirlwind of life has slowed way, way down....& now that I've caught my breath - yep...I'm reasonably certain it's ADHD, not depression.
I can’t thank you enough for this video! I’m 66 years old and you’ve just explained all the mysteries of my self to me. I have only recently discovered that was ADHD all my life and with a bang :-)
thats awesome!
Meeeee tooooo 😊
The revelation is an amazing feeling.
@@Aloha967-tree-fo-wer I. Actually really excited to find a doctor to get that diagnosis, now that I know that I'm not stupid, and not an emotional outcast!
Better late than never - for me to 😆
I could not be more different from you - I'm a stay at home mom in my mid thirties. But you have struck such a cord and I feel so connected to you, a total stranger. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing such personal insights. I've just been diagnosed and I feel alone and Rsd is no joke. Thanks for such a thoughtful video. God bless :)
glad it resonated :) ❤️
I'm 53 I just found out that I have been diagnosed with ADHD I have recently lost a 27 year marig because I didn't get a hold on it
I started concerta 5 days ago at 30 and literally everything you talked about are my experiences as well. To think that the extreme emotional responses I have to every negative thing that happens to me aren't just things others have developed better strategies for is jarring. I also have a small tick where my eyes will vibrate really fast for just a couple of seconds, once or twice a month, and never had a possible explanation till now. This video was extremely helpful and not only makes me hopeful, but also gives me some realism that these problems that I struggle with aren't now magically gone forever with the meds. Thank you Bryan.
my pleasure
The eye thing i think is a flutter .. it's from stress and lack of some minerals.. try supplementing with magnesium and see if it solves i lt
I have a tic too under my right eye every month or so to.
If you have nystagmus and you feel dizzy or vertigo sometimes and or tinnitus you might look into meniere's syndrome. It is diagnosed by an ENT and an audiologist
This is so helpful. Thanks, Bryan. I am 61 years old and have been in IT for 40 years. I am JUST NOW diagnosed with ADHD. Wow. It explains so much. I wanted to thank you for your videos and encourage you to keep going with both the tech and ADHD videos.
Glad to help another techie ❤️❤️
Thank you for this video.... I'm just now at 39 navigating these waters and it is crazy how many things iv always just dealt with because I didnt know it wasnt normal. I just though I was inadequate and couldn't handle things..... now I'm realizing I have untreated adhd that was presenting as depression and anxiety. Thank you thank you for making this!! I feel less alone :)
❤️
I’m a grown man and I got choked up watching this. I’ve not felt this understood in such a long time. In this area of my life I’ve never been this understood. Thanks for making this video. I meant a lot to me 😊
glad it resonated ❤️
As someone who hasn't cried in 4 years now. This was the closest I came to crying. I have been researching ADHD for the past year and have always thought I might have it but it seemed such as a large task to check myself and always thought I can overcome it. But after a year and a half of work+studying it has became quite hard for me to function on a daily basis. Listening to you and relating to just about everything opened my eyes how much I need this.
❤️
@@BryanJenkswho do I go to for diagnosis ? I am suffering so much with the symptoms.
As the wife of someone with ADHD that cannot seem to articulate what’s going on, I found this extremely useful and helpful. Especially the RSD part, which is an adverse effect that is hard for me to understand. My husband went off his meds for twenty years and I think we endured a lot more chaos and anger than would have been necessary. I’m super grateful he’s on them again and he is too. Thank you again. You’ve validated and explained what was happening in those years. Stormy weather indeed and now bluer skies again with occasional storms.
the fact that you pushed through the turbulent times and even now seek to understand his experience is such a wonderful thing, love to hear it!
My partner currently asked for us to take a break because of her guilt about not being present in our relationship and her starting ADHD medication. I’m hoping to be there to weather the storm and get back together stronger, but I know that some of the work she has to put in has to be on her own. Do you have any advice on those difficult times? I’m really struggling with it right now
I learned more about ADHD, and my behavior from this single video then I have from decades of treatment and care... My mind is blown right now. Your knowledge is priceless ... I had to stop the video a couple times and resume it just to process the emotions and the sheer shock of the information before my eyes. Finally, terms and definitions to describe what's going on ! Please don't stop...
This the THE BEST talk on ADHD behaviors I have ever listened! I am blown away that you hit every major issue /behavior that my boyfriend of 6 years displays and is destroying our relationship. His is a brilliant programming engineer and has what looks like no emotional intelligence when it comes to relationships. The worst is emotional deregulation which is so damaging to trust. You even articulated that you have a partner that helps you regulate/order your life but that it is unfair to lean on them all the time and expect them to manage you. YOU need to get the tools together to do this for yourself. The sharing the details about the difference between on meds and off is so so powerful and so so helpful!!! I am going to have my boyfriend listen to this and I am at the braking point. My bond and attachment were so deep and joyful but his emotional deregulation have worn me out and all I want is peace. Hopefully this will resonate with him and will see he is not alone. This video is a huge support for me to not have to be the only one talking about his issues which of course only makes him angry. Coming from you, another male with the same issues could be a game changer for him. You nailed every issue that needs to be addressed in this video to not sabotage your relationships, job and life! I hope it gets shared by everyone suffering with these issues. Thank you for this wonderful gift to us all .
How did it go?
im glad you enjoyed the video and care so much about your relationship to find resources to try and bridge this gap with your partner and that you think i can help with that. I wish you the best of luck!
Engineers are not known for their emotional intelligence. Did asking him to watch a video implying he needs to get medicated help?
@@umrengnr He grew up with horrific emotional and physical abuse from a very young child by his father, so he has complex ptsd. Add can be a result of ptsd and well as many other issues that spin off from relentless inescapable abuse. So it’s complicated. He’s in denial of course that he has issues. We live separately and I am completely economically independent so I can put healthy distance when needed. His own sons now 30 and 33 can’t count of him so I have now learned so I am emotionally become more independent of our relationship.
@@umrengnr and btw funny your comment about engineers. So correct LOL.
Just got diagnosed and I feel you on the RSD. I don’t think people understand how much it affects your entire life. I’m 22, lived my entire childhood without knowing and definitely affected friendships and my relationship with myself. Was diagnosed with depression at 20, I think RSD had a huge part in it now that I know. Thank you for this video!
yeah i had a lot of things people "thought" i had that were really just behaviors stemming from my neurodivergence >.>
Will you let me help you and mentor your academic and carrer suggestions and supports?
Thank you from the heart. At 49 I have decided to seek medication and therapy, and your words have given me courage and determination.
glad to hear! good luck on your journey!
You literally described every single little thing I've been struggling with my whole life, including leg bouncing, nail biting and always feeling the need to please people 'cause you're note sufficiently capable of dealing with negativity.
I'm having my ADHD assessment in 3 days and this was really helpful
What happened in your assessment ?
@@CH4NNELZERO I've been diagnosed with Severe ADHD, as I've obtained maximum points both as a child and as an adult, my psychiatrist prescribed me Concerta XL.
Edit: I also wanna mention that I'm on medication for over a week now and I can see major improvements already, it's like something switched in my brain and now I see things 10x more clear and brighter.
I have heard of a lot of people with ADHD that have chewed their fingernails down until they bleed
@@petrumariantundra4645 the slow release I have heard is much more effective
@Petru Marian, are you in Romania? If positive, could you recommend the specialist who diagnosed you?
This resonates far too well. I’m taking a narcolepsy sleep study in a little under two weeks. I don’t “want” to have it, but if it’s negative I’ll be left not knowing what’s wrong with me. You’ve just given me me an avenue to explore. You’ve described my life so well it’s pretty much blowing my mind.
I'm glad!
I think the going to sleep late thing is partly caused by a sense of wanting to get something done in the day while you still can.
Staying up late also adds a time pressure of needing to get to sleep so I can wake up in the morning.
It's that feeling of 'I'll just quickly get this thing done and once you feel like your making progress you don't want to stop.
revenge sleep procrastination is the term i believe :) coupled with hyper fixation xD
In my case it would feel like ceding my day. Giving up my last bit of me time, and I'd claw onto every last second of it.
Wow, the context-switching pain you described was so spot on. It happens especially when I'm coding. I feel like I have to load all this stuff into my working memory and when someone comes along and talks to me about something else, it's almost painful having to unload it and switch to what they want me to do. I actually end getting hit with this anger I have to kinda bite down on until it goes away.
23.26 Object Permanence
This was a complete revelation to me. It all makes so much sense no. I mentioned coding before and it's most apparent to me there. I *NEED* multiple monitors. I have to have everything I'm referencing open in front of me, documentation, other code, everything! The moment it's hidden by another window, it's gone and I'm screwed. Part of it may be the limited working memory thing we get, but this kinda ties into it. I can look at the name of a field somewhere and go, ok, I need to put that somewhere else, but if that window disappears, I will forget how it was spelled, whether it was capitalized, snake case, uppercase, underscored or even what the name even was.
This is why I could never study regularly at school or college. Study one subject for an hour, then the next subject for another hour, every day, that was unthinkable for me. But study one subject for ten hours the day before the exam? No problem.
I can live with a small interruption, but switching to a whole different project, or working on two projects at the same time? Even if one is coding, and the other maybe drawing, I still can't do both. They also constantly run in the back of my mind, even when I'm not working (sometimes you the point of obsession), and I can't actively think about two things at once. That's exactly how I've always seen it, as if I have to load everything into working memory, and now you're asking me to unload it and load something else? No way. Or, like, close all the tabs and apps I have opened, and open a whole different set of tabs and apps, and then switch again to the first set... That's asking too much.
This might also be why I rarely shut down my PC unless Windows forces me. I have all my apps and tabs open, and if I restart and forget to open an app, that's gone. I'm never getting that task finished. I used to have all the apps set up to run at startup, because I'd forget a simple thing as checking my emails if Outlook wasn't started.
THISSSSSSSSSS i have a triple monitor setup for this very reason
HAHAHA. thought I was.just a crazy person. (Diagnosed adhd-c in late 20s) but Ive been trying to efficiency "crack this code" for years now. Lol,.still haven't, and it usually costs me a lot of extra time in the long run, but it's getting better. I always make the joke that I could be INCREDIBLY efficient if I had unlimited money , and the ability to have literally EVERYTHING set up to function "for me" . One step at a time ,I guess. Anyway..... Wish you well. Peace
@@BryanJenks OMG I feel called out on the monitor setup! Interestingly, the context switching thing is something that I have trouble with as well, but I've been reading about it in the context of something called "autistic inertia" - essentially it's really difficult to transition from doing "thing X" (which could also be doing nothing at all) to doing "thing Y", even when that's something we really want to do.
I'm 47 and recently diagnosed. Your bit about friendships and ways in which we mess them up really kicked me in the guts. I'm trying to be open with people and make efforts but it's hard. Thank you.
you're not alone, its a constant struggle for me too 🫂️
Wow! I can relate to this so much. My daughter was just diagnosed as severe adhd and for the last few months its finally dawned on me why I might be the way I am. I thought I was alone but recently talking to people with adhd and listening to people like you hasade me realise I'm not. It runs in my family on my dad's side so makes a lot of sense. Thanks so much for this video.
For those of you who think this disorder only exists in the US, I am from the UK so theres no need for twatty little comments like that.
Thanks Bryan. X
Same. I started researching ADHD for a family member, too. I'm diagnosed OCD? I seriously feel like I could fall under many different "labels", and so could other's, at least at one time in their life or another, but when it effects your life to the point he describes here, it's a problem! All these mental illnesses need to be diagnosed and treated, and the treatment should include care and compassion as well. Mental health has been so stigmatized over the years! I think it's why so many people self-medicate. Best wishes and positive thoughts to you and your daughter!
its heavily tied to genetics, ADHD/ASD in a child usually leads to a large swathe of the family getting diagnosed too
@@BryanJenks Right!? It's unbelievable how the puzzle pieces of my life started to make sense, at least to me, when I cleaned up from drugs and alcohol (20 years ago, now, lol), got some help, then went back to school for my LADC. I thought I knew so much more than I actually did about mental illness and addiction. I mean, they are co-occurring disorders, but, yeah, was I wrong. One professor was particularly hard on us and kept saying if we didn't keep an open mind, we wouldn't pass his course, which really helped me in all them. The 'Family Therapy' courses were one of my favs and really intrigued me. But, yeah, genetics play a vital role. Proper diagnosis, treatment and Education are key, imo. Thank you so much for making this video, such great information, and very helpful info!! You rock!
I'm a mental health Clinician in the UK and have only just realised I likely have ADD / ADHD because my son has been dx. Its hard to see symptoms in yourself. X
It’s also why family’s tend to get diagnosed together, one has it and everyone finds out afterwards lol
Dude, you mentioning people pleasing and RSD really hit home.
I even went to therapy to try to cope with those types of emotions and reactions but I never made the association with ADHD and it totally makes sense.
Therapy has been helping me a lot with this knowledge and a hefty dose of meta cognition there's a lot of process that can be achieved :)
The book boundaries by dr. Henry cloud is excellent for helping with that he also has a Facebook group called Boundaries.me
Studying about self-care and codependency will also help. God bless🙏
I was socially phobic and barely spoke for my first 3 years in high school.
This video was so helpful, thank you! I literally took notes from it because my partner has ADHD and I am trying to figure out how to work around his habits or behavior and how to set things up to help him make life easier. I watched numerous videos where they list the symptoms but no one talks really deep into why are the symptomps like that and how does the person feel, what he thinks etc. You go really deep on this so finally, a person without ADHD can understand and relate to why he f.e. forget about me after I left for weekend etc. It sounds like a small thing but is really helpful for me. Many neurotypical people have problems with ADHD people because they can not understand the deep feelings and thoughts inside only see the symptomps outside which go on their nerves. Thanks again!
rich inner lives. “people are like oceans you cannot know them by their surfaces”
I relate to every word. Thank you for sharing and for being vulnerable. I suddenly feel less alone🙏
🥺♥️
Holy crap, thank you for posting this. I do have an ADHD diagnosis but I always have this imposter syndrome experience around it, partially because my diagnosis came as an adult and partially because I don’t want there to be anything “wrong” with me. Hearing you talk about the emotional dysphoria really hit home for me. I’ve been titrating up on my concerta slowly and it’s been helpful but I get scared about being on medication. Also the physical ticks is something I have noticed I’ve done since I was a kid, I’ll clench my toes over and over and over, or flex that little tendon behind my knee.
There isn’t anything wrong with you, that’s a good point to drill in
What is imposter syndrome ?
Imposter syndrome is basically the idea that you're "faking it". The person suffering it usually knows they're not faking it, and there's no real reason for having these doubts, yet they can't help but feel like maybe they're just making it up. Somebody else can probably explain it better.@@Neemi030
This might have been the most helpful video I've seen on CZcams this year, thank you so so much for talking about RSD which I never heard about!
♥️
Ditto - never knew it had a name but boy does it need one, right?
OMG… you just described my life. I’m now 70 and was diagnosed ADD more than 30 years ago. My psychiatrist then had prescribed that same level of Concerta (54mg daily) and Ritalin (10mg PRN) which I followed for nearly 10 years. Unfortunately my psychiatrist passed away unexpectedly and new psychiatrist that I began seeing decided to change my regimen completely… took me off Concerta and Ritalin and put me on Oxcarbazatine (which I titrated up to the max dose). I continued on that regimen up until I moved from Seattle to LA Calif about 8 years ago and until I ran out of my supply. Circumstances after my move were such that I didn’t find a new psychiatrist for several years and when I did see one my most immediate needs were related to depression. I had never really understood the pervasive impact that ADHD had on me and the difficulties were more easily (though inaccurately) described as depressive. Financial concerns combined with the lack of success with the anti-depressant regimen caused me to give up on that psychiatrist after less than a year. Finally, after finding a new GP and going through his rigorous new patient protocol just 9 months ago, he RE-initiated a preliminary diagnosis of ADHD and prescribed Adderal… which I’m finding some success with. I’m now doing a lot of research on ADHD… research and information I wish I would have had all my life. Your video told my life story!
there's no reason a medication treatment should lapse like this, the medical field in the united states is abominable
I just wanted to say thank you, Bryan! About a year ago, I finally accepted something wasn’t right and stopped trying to constantly “fix” myself and think I was just a person plagued with a life of being abnormal or not good enough. I sought help from a therapist and eventually a psychiatrist as well. I am now diagnosed and on a medication and my life is completely changed. You do such a good job of explaining symptoms that aren’t commonly known. You have helped me truly understand myself and the WHY of why I do things. Lol Your videos are extremely helpful!
this is so lovely to hear
Hi Bryan, I wanted to say ‚thank you’ for this video, for being vulnerable and so open about your struggles. I cried listening to you as I found myself in almost everything you described. I’ve not been diagnosed and I don’t think this idea would even cross anyone’s mind. I don’t even know how I came about thinking I might have ADHD. I’m 38, by the way, and for the past decades I felt like the biggest loser where I just couldn’t get my **it together. I knew I was smart yet my life is in total mess, it’s pure chaos! So, I just thought I’m incapable and stupid. I was never fidgetty or active as a kid and that’s not changed. If anything, I am seen as lazy as often I am too exhausted to do anything after a busy day at work as my job’s very demanding. So I put all my energy into surviving a day and then I’m like a zombie for the rest of the day.
What blew my mind was the part about the ticks. Ever since I was 3 or 4, I’ve been picking my lips to the point they bled and now they are almost white. Nothing could stop me as I’d even pick them in my sleep. It’s the hardest habit to ditch as I don’t even know I’m doing it. I also pop my knuckles constantly.
This has been an eye opener and it encouraged me to get diagnosed. I am feeling hopeful for once as noone could ever understand that my struggle was real.
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️ Wishing you all the best for the future
I was also not one to bounce off the walls in school. Pretty chill personality and lifestyle, always busied myself with something that had my interest, but generally got the required things of life done... my coping mechanism was basically never taking on anything that had a requirement. Under-performing at work, avoiding raises and responsibility where possible, but working hard enough to be indispensable, because I feared that if I was in charge it would either consume me until I burned out, or I would fail at it. And after work there was no life, it was collapse and try not to derail the next day. Might do something on a weekend, but those too might be recovery.
At any rate, got diagnosed at 38 with a pretty moderate case of ADHD, and 1 year in, and the results have been dramatic. 20 years of half-finished projects, and about half of them finished in a single year, while also taking care of other life necessities much easier. On the work front, just much more organized, and not totally burning out with a brain full of mush by 2pm, and often able to be more helpful in the evening on the home front after work instead of collapsing every night.
And it isn't like I am superman, and life is easy now... because things are absolutely not easy. Just a lot easier. I still have some epicly rough brain days where my head is in an absolute fog even with meds... but that is just a couple days every month or two, where before I would have a clear head a couple days every month or two. Taking on new undefined tasks is still really hard, or learning new tasks when being interrupted can be a large hurtle still... but a lot less hard, and I can get back to focused much easier.
Really it is a mixed bag - on the one hand, life has been a bit of a mess building for 20 years, so it is a realistic expectation that it would take 2-3 years to make up for that lost time, and I feel like I am making great head-way on things that have bothered me for a very long time. But on the other hand, I have 20 years of trained learning that when you feel good you spend every once of energy you have knocking things out because you just dont know when that opportunity will arise again... as a result I feel like over the past year I have perhaps put a little too much effort on knocking out projects rather than paying attention to my kids. And to be fair, a lot of the projects I am doing are projects that benefit them... but they are not of an age where they care about that, they just see me as unavailable unless they want to help me, and I need to spend a little more time focused on what they want to do. The hard part is that the meds really make some things scream at you to be done, and it is hard to fight that while playing some made-up game with no real rules that your kids want to do for a while. I would say that the meds have made me a more effective person... but probably a worse dad. When I was fried after work I wasn't the best dad either... but I was at least more fun.
I'm 80 and have had strong realizations regarding ADHD (no medication) I have every symptom that you refer to, but wasn't fully identified with start-up problems. I understand what you are saying about making the task small but in my case, that task can feel impossible. My start-up, unfortunately, is when I am under pressure the bigger the pressure the better the performance. My realization poem. ADHD
The one-legged man saw no path ahead.
Clutching at chances he caught in the air.
Only the moment, no tomorrow was there?
He was blind to the debris behind in his wake.
He was caught in a trap, locked in a cage.
The cassette explained a hopping bipedal here in the zoo.
Some saw him high; some saw him low; all saw him with two.
A spectacular show, those stories he told while rolling downhill.
No one had noticed he only had one, the tales he told were as if he had two.
The cassette was right, and the cassette was wrong.
That one-legged man was very confused, he also saw two.
It never occurred that he only had one.
The one-legged man, now incredibly old, his energy spent from hopping around.
Grew tired of running against others with two.
Something was wrong, patterns emerged.
He suddenly woke from this dream so very disturbed.
All the debris he saw in his wake overwhelmed.
His tears streamed for him; his tears streamed for them.
He finally realized he was a two-legged man who only had one.
That one-legged man is me.
❤️
This is my first time hearing about Rejection Sensitive Disphoria. As soon I heard and understood the symptoms it was like a light in my dark world finally flipped on and I got a clear visual of the emotional problems that been plaguing me my whole life. Knowing I already have knowledge and tools to put that aspect of myself in its proper place was a huge euphoria hit. Thank you soo much for sharing this video, I have so many more things to look forward to now. 😂
I’m glad it resonated!
I've been off my meds for 16 years. I have a medication evaluation in 2 days as of this comment. I just got to the part where you explain that you were considering becoming a marine. This video popping up out of the blue, and you taking yourself off for the same reason I did (I ended up serving my 4 years), at this time in life, makes me think that I'm on the right path. Thanks for this, my guy.
Good luck with the meds! :)
Omg so relatable, having ADHD unmedicated is so hard. I was only diagnosed at 24, a month ago! I'm begining my medication today, super hopeful! Thank you for your video
my pleasure!
I periodically re watch your regardless of the fact that you uploaded this video almost two years ago because it reminds me I am not alone in this world. thank you my dude, I hope you are doing well.
Awww thank you :)
I’m doing better than ever! Thank you for the kind words :)
The ticks thing is interesting. I've noticed recently I've picked up a weird thing where Ill raise my eyebrows briefly for no reason and almost involuntarily and I'm not sure why. Wonder if its related or something else.
And the object permanence thing. Just as a recent example, I'm currently on a work trip, and while packing I had to spread all of my clothes and other belongings I was taking onto my counter and go through a checklist a second time just to be sure I had it all before putting it all in a bag. If I pack my bags the night before, even though I know I put my wallet in my bag (for example) for some reason in the back of my head I start thinking "but did I reallllly pack my wallet?" and start losing my mind until I actually put my eyes on it again and verify the wallet is indeed in my bag.
i just did the SAME thing for my latest trip, lay it out and pack in in the morning, prep, spread, check, pack, go :)
@@BryanJenks I have tics and adhd but only motor ones. Sometimes it is my breathing but will move to me moving my shoulders, twitching me nose, popping my jaw. To the point of at the end of the day my jaw hurts. It’s like my joints need to pop but a lot of it is sub conscious. At one point I really thought my meds caused permanent tics but it may just be my adhd
I’m like this too. Sometimes I’m triple, quadruple checking even though I know I did the thing
@@madelineplesh2613 THIS
I had so many tics from Adderall
Thanks so much for posting this. I just started ADHD treatment recently and the research Im doing is so validating. Hearing you talk about RSD, or things like a tendency to fall asleep while driving really resonate with me.
it's not an easy thing to live with
I'm 71 & have a few close friends, but they are not expecting me to be in constant contact. But as soon as we do communicate it's comfortable, we're glad to touch base again. I'm that way with my sisters too. I do give myself reminders to give someone a call or send a note. Old fashioned, I know, but who doesn't love to get something personal in the mail?
i do the same :) used to write hand written letters and seal them with wax
@@BryanJenks I did too. I have a close cousin who still sends birthday cards, Christmas cards, mother's day, etc. I send her an occasional card just because I know it means so much to her. My family who used to send me mail have all passed away. & The practice with it.
Dude this really helped, it's like you're my clone. Some of those symptoms were so obscure, you never really hear about them. Like the tics - that blew my mind, the feet tapping and phone case fidgeting - I do the exact same. ADHD symptoms are often listed very vaguely. I never even thought about the RSD, I assumed that was just me. I've suspected I have ADHD for a long time now but this just convinced me that it's time to get it checked. Thank you so much.
glad you found the video helpful :)
Thank you for sharing your insight on ADHD. I’ve been on medication for ADHD for the past 11 years and I have many ups and downs with my Adderall. Finding that balance has been challenging. I appreciate you sharing your experience and discussing emotional dis-regulation and object permanence. I call object permanence “out of sight, out of mind”. The struggle to be a good friend and partner is real and I appreciate your tips. Many don’t understand that you truly don’t intend to forget them and do really care. I’ve done so much research and watched countless videos and you are the first person who has really explained object permanence in a clear direction way. Thank you for that. I truly feel you should continue sharing what you learn and discover. You have a gift on translating that information in a way we all can resignation with it. Thank you!
Im glad my take on things is so palatable ❤️ More to come im sure :)
This was so unbelievably helpful. Just diagnosed as combined adhd at severe level for symptom impact. I can’t say how deeply the rejection sensitivity dysphoria bit hit home. Sat with my wife and we’ve just had a heated episode today and it was amazing to hear you describe it. Got an appointment to discuss meds for the first time on Friday. This has helped hugely as I general avoid any and all meds. Thanks so much for posting this 👍🏼🙌🏼
my pleasure
This video just got recommended to me and I’m so glad it did. I was diagnosed at 7, took meds until I was about 13 and now at 26 I’m looking into getting on meds again.
There’s a lot I could say but you mentioning the tics and the rsd really resinated with me. And it was really nice. Also the people pleasing and the stuff about not getting attention as a child and how that can affect us really hit me hard.
Thank you for this video.
Sorry rsd is hitting me hard lately and I don’t really know how to talk when I’m in a rut like this.
Have an amazing day❤️
❤️ bless you ❤️
take care of yourself :)
Wow this is tremendous stuff. I’m 69 and was diagnosed 3 days ago. I’m reading all I can get my hand on but you’ve just explained so much. I was laughing and crying at the same time. The section on RSD explains my entire emotional life. I get regular bouts of depression which I’m now beginning to think could be a result of a life of adhd rsd . A huge Thankyou. I shall watch for further observations with great interest. Regards Pete (uk)
This was fantastic. Being a fellow ADHD adult who also struggles with RSD but only recently learned it was part of my ADHD, I'm so impressed that you were comfortable being so beautifully humble. Thank you for putting yourself out there like this. This was great! You shared a lot that I look forward to sharing with my high school daughter who's struggling immensely with RSD right now. I'm here looking for ways to help her. Thank you again! I will now be checking your channel for similar content... Hope to learn more. Suggestion: Do a video about the super power of ADHD when you can harness it as a gift.
glad you enjoyed the video :)
i think i talk about the benefits of ADHD/ASD quite a lot in my other videos :)
Thank you for this video ! I’ve had adhd since I was a young child but back in the late 70’s you didn’t hear about this at . I just thought I wasn’t smart . After I had my daughter and she had a lot of focus issues , got her checked and she was diagnosed. Then the light turned on for me too . I absolutely hate having this so always looking for more info to help my daughter and myself . Thanks !
glad you found the video helpful!
Really appreciate you putting out such a personal video to help others. I have suffered for 50 years now and my life is a complete mess because of my lack of ability to focus and follow through. My personal relationships have suffered greatly, my business has suffered and all because I never took the time to try to figure out what is going on in my head. I have learned I have pretty severe ADHD and that is why mind is constantly running on high speed and switching from task to play to ideas to oh I need to get this done. It is so bad that for example if I need a tape measure but know I need to go upstairs to find one on the way up I get distracted and wind up doing something else and completely forgetting why I was headed up stairs. It’s terrible and my entire life has been this way. Having this problem has not stopped me from starting a successful business, I have man aged to maintain a 27 yr marriage, raise 4 beautiful kids with my wife but during all of this I’ve personally struggled so badly. Listening to you describe what you have dealt with made me really feel like I’m not alone and it lifted my spirits, I mean man when you talked personal relationships or simply remembering birthdays and how you were very sensitive I thought wow listening to myself. You further encouraged me to not be ashamed or embarrassed to speak with my doctor and tell him exactly what has been going on. You’re awesome for sharing your story. Thank you.
im glad this resonated with you :)
Thanks for sharing your experiences with RSD. Of all my symptoms, this one has caused the most shame and catastrophic problems for me. Rage quitting jobs, being nasty during disagreements, and losing frieds has caused more damage in my life than any of my impulsivity or lack of motivation. Thanks again!
i'm right there with you and the 'rage quitting'. Maybe not rage sometimes, more like "im done here and a ghosting. or impulsive "I quit" email complete with a laundry list of reason working there sucks so there is very little chance of recovery. Burn baby burn!
@@vooo1314 My rage quits are quiet, but absolute. The last one saw me simply unplug my laptop, wipe my company cell phone, and hand them to my boss (along with my keys) with a "Nope," before I walked out the door for good.
@@shannond2707 OMG! I so totally get that and have done similar things too many times. But you know what? Too many companies hide behind that 'at will' clause but that clause also states the employee can quit without notice, too. But yeah... I get it. It hits some point where you can't stand another minute no matter how good the paycheck.
yeah, its a trip when you realize this isnt a character flaw, its a symptom of your neurology
You literally spoke my life (minus the tics lol) thank you so much for sharing. I forget things all the time and things I don’t see. Friendships are hard. I have to set a reminder or always be reminded to reach out. I used to set reminders for my fiancé bc I’d forget him until the day is over.
Yes I forget people a lot, too, people I really care about. It's frustrating how most people don't understand the condition and think it's just an inability to concentrate. The transitions from one mindset to another can be just as difficult.
You are so welcome! Our struggles are more than just "OOO SHINY"
Hi Bryan! I had a MAJOR breakthrough today thanks to you and your video. Thank you so much! I'm slightly below 40 and have struggled with RSD my entire life. I had no idea what it was until now!! Ahhh! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I'm glad you got something valuable out of the video :)
This was the best video on ADHD I have ever seen ❤️🔥🙏🏻 thanks. It’s like you were describing all the things I noticed.
I was going to say that the zombie thing was DEFINITELY too high a dose. I got the same thing when I tried it. The obsessive rumination on social events… single words. Ruining your whole day. The first day I took Adderall it was like someone flipped a switch and I got my mind back. All those just shut off and I could understand social relationships so much better.
I actually sobbed with joy the first day I took the medication. I knew that I could finally have a life. A real life and use my gifts. Stop people-pleasing and being what others wanted.
I have an IQ of 155, but I nearly flunked so many times. In high school I was class rank 335 out of 365 or something. I discovered caffeine in my junior year and I was actually able to play soccer and get my grades up enough to graduate at the bottom of my class. I did so well on the ACT, that I got into college on probation and it was an EPIC struggle-I didn’t even know what to listen for or how to take notes. I discovered neurotransmitter precursors, and began taking phenylalanine and tyrosine and I started to get good grades in college. I did all kinds of behavioral intervention too-snapping myself with wide rubber bands when my attention wandered, using Reese’s Pieces every time I turned a page studying, pumped good students for note-taking strategies, etc. Lol. Eventually with caffeine pills and neurotransmitter precursors I graduated with honors. Then I went to graduate school and surpassed all my professors, but the effects began to not work as well.
Later I was able to get on Adderall and I resisted for a long time because I went to graduate school in behavioral neuroscience and I didn’t want to be addicted. Plus I had friends who died from drug abuse. My research area was drug abuse. Finally I caved in and went on Adderall after my brother told me how it helped him and I figured I was old enough that long-term effects wouldn’t matter so much.
So now I am in the process of revolutionizing the world. I am a writer and theorist. I have done so many things since I started on medication and become who I was really meant to be.
Thanks so much for this again. So helpful. I totally have the problems with relationships and the need to have things spread out in front of me YES. That’s why I need my own library and office because it might be messy, but I know where everything is!!! 😂🥰👍🏻
This video opened my eyes and was more helpful than all the videos from doctors I ever watched! I think it is because doctors generally do not have ADHD, or maybe mild ADHD in a rare case, so they don’t understand and they think it’s just a matter of “willpower” or “organizing a system”. But I literally cannot do any of that or maintain it without “normal” neurotransmitters. Doctors generally cannot imagine what it is like. I didn’t even know I was interrupting people in conversations or why or anything. People thought I was stupid but I knew things they never dreamed of because their definition of intelligent included being organized and social (via dopamine). 🤷♀️
this comment is AWESOME. I'm glad you've found success in life even if through struggle, these disorders are on a spectrum so if something im doing works for you that is both luck and fortunate. im happy for you :)
Thank you very much for this video. Its always so weird when you are not diagnosed yet to see strangers talking about their adhd and im like you are describing my life in detail right now. And its true i can relate to every single detail. It gives me hope that my life is going to be better in the near future.
best of luck to you on your journey!
I am a 44 year old woman who jus started a career as an insurance agent. After a full blown breakdown I’ve had to evaluate where my failure was coming from. I’ve been learning that I have always struggled with ADHD but when I was a kid there wasn’t really a formal diagnosis for it. I know I My break down came from not being able to have the needed executive function for the complex tasks I was trying to do. Im just now in the process of diagnosis and your video popped up. This was very helpful for me to hear this. I recognize much of what you experienced in myself. Thanks for sharing
im glad it resonated with you ❤️
You are so great at explaining adhd in ways I struggled to but most definitely felt! Thank you for making these videos, so I can better explain myself to others. I feel less alone also, to know there are other brains like mine. ❤️
You’re not alone!
I’m 19 and was finally able to get diagnosed without my mother telling me I don’t need meds! (She works in the pharmaceutical industry and things all meds are bad) I’m about to go pick up my first ever script and couldn’t be more excited!!
Glad you’re getting the help you need! It’s also frightening that someone working in the pharmaceutical industry thinks what they do is bad. that could negatively impact patients and their care
Maybe if she watched one of Russell Barkley's talks, she would have a better understanding. Not everyone who takes ADHD meds needs them, but it can absolutely be a game-changer for those who do! The funny thing is, once you take medicine for ADHD and see what you're capable of, it seems like it's easier to come up with coping mechanisms that work for you even if you decide not to take the medicine, or miss it. You know, bc you have ADHD lol. I had gotten so discouraged and overwhelmed, but after taking medicine for a few months now, I'm getting my feet back under me and I can see what is possible again! It's a learning process that changes over time. You'll do wonderfully, I'm sure! Just use the meds as a stepping stone, not a crutch! Good luck to you 😉✌️
I know it's 3 ;years late and thank you so much, I have had the RSD symptoms my entire life and never knew what it was called or that other people experienced it until I watched your video. Thank you!
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Thank you for this awesome video! Very interesting and educational. Almost everything you mentioned I fully empathise with. It was only last week when someone (with ADHD) pointed out to me that the way I work is “hyperfocusing”, because when I’m really into something, the entire world outside my work disappears. I had never heard this term before then, and had no idea it was an ADHD ‘thing’. Gosh, and it’s been one revelation after the next ever since.
The object permanence thing is fascinating. I’d observed this in my own behaviour, knew it was OCD, but didn’t know it was associated with ADHD. Objectively, one knows that it’s enough to check something once or twice, and that repeated checking is patently absurd. But clearly there’s a reason our brains are making us think: *the task was not completed, check again.* I recall reading that the feeling of task completion is related to dopamine too. I’ll have to read more about it.
And thank you for being so open about your struggles, especially the emotional ones - I think it’s incredibly brave of you and will help others reveal themselves too.💯
Im glad the video resonated so strongly with you
Fantastic content. One of the best ADHD videos have seen out there describing really interest details that not many have come up with.
Thank you :)
Thank you so much for introducing me to the concept of RSD. Everything you described about it and the from what I read about it, my mood fluctuations, and people avoidance made so much sense. I have always suspected I have ADHD since a long time, unfortunately I never had the money to get treated properly, I am finally close to fixing the mess I have made of my life, but despite how much damage ADHD does to my grades and work performance, the damage that RSD has done to my personal relationships is my biggest regret, hopefully I will be able to sort these things out in the future with some help. Also Obsidian has been a huge help for my forgetful mind.
RSD is the worst. my relationships ad social skills were trash before re-starting my medication and learning more about myself and the disorder. It's such a challenge. Glad something i've done has been helpful :)
Omg if I had this kind of self awareness and understanding of the disorder!!! I thought this was very insightful and informative.
glad you found it helpful!
I didn't even know that RSD was a thing until very recently. I have been struggling with it all my life, Never even been able to put words to it, except, why is life so damned painful. It is really comforting to know others also share it.
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Definitely would like to see more of this. So informative, really well explained, helps to understand since I don’t have it but my son does. Please do more. Your account of living with this disorder reminds me to always be mindful of what my son is going through.
new video on monday!
This video actually just made me feel better about almost all of the topics you pointed out. 6 months ago I finally decided to go to a psychiatrist around my 34th birthday and was diagnosed with ADHD. I started seeing a therapist every week and discussed many of the things you talked about but I was not aware that a lot of these behaviors are typical with ADHD. Especially the emotional detachment/not displaying emotions, letting friendships drift away, forgetting everyone's birthday, forgetting to even say hello to people you see everyday.
How did you find the psychiatrist and therapist? I have ADHD like symptoms (not being able to put things in drawers or I'll forget they exist is one ridiculous example, unable to do tasks at work - and the social problems. All spot on. Right now parents are bugging me to talk to me because I never do but I'm constantly overwhelmed and can't deal with that... )... I've tried getting help multiple times and don't know where to go, when I try, I can't find anyone taking new patients, etc. . . Argh
@@ModMINI I Googled psychiatrist that were accepting patients. I found a company by the name of Lifestance that had a close location. The number was a general number to a call center, found out they are in almost every state, and the person helped me find an available provider. I was doing in person visits by choice for both the Psych and Therapist but then switched to Telehealth services instead(just seeing the doctor online instead of in person). Just try to focus on the major issues you have when you go for your first Psych visit. It's easy to get lost on a tangent talking about little things and forget to cover all of the key topics. That's were the Therapist will come into play. If the Psych believes you to have ADHD they will more than likely order a QB Test that you will have to take. It basically measure your attention and how much you fidget while concentrating. Only when the doctor has determined you have ADHD will they offer to prescribe a stimulant/other medication and/or have you try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Hope this helps!
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Whoa! RSD I never heard of it - I am sure I have that!! Thank you so much! Youre awesome and I value your work.
Happy to help!
After watching this video it became very clear to me that I had a huge avoidant attachment problem. It became a problem when I was about 3 (I'm 17 now) where I completely closed off who I was as I was too afraid of being hurt for just being myself and became extremely lonely. I began to really notice just how much these unresolved problems were screwing up my life so I'm currently in the process of being diagnosed for ADHD after finding out my sister had it. I just wanted to let you know how this video put things into perspective for me. Wish I could of found this sooner but keep doing what you're doing!
im glad the video resonated with you
Great video! I think a lot of people who have ADHD, be it diagnosed or non-diagnosed, resonate a lot with what you're saying and maybe it will help people who haven't been diagnosed yet to bring up the courage to see a doctor about it.
I think it's really great to hear about the medication, how it affects you, how it helped you and what the drawbacks or limitations are. Like the kinda "cyclic" problem of building tolerance to the Ritalin and having to put it off for a little while in order to get the proper effectiveness back.
Regarding the stuff you said about ticks - I think all that fidgeting, popping joints and all that is most likely covered by the "hyperactivity" part of ADHD.
I've just watched another video by a British Psychiatrist who also went into detail about the three types of ADHD:
1.) people who only or mostly just suffer from the attention deficit
2.) people who only or mostly just suffer from the hyperactivity
3.) people who generally suffer from both a lot
The hyperactivity part often doesn't manifest AS MUCH in adulthood anymore because we've learned to "behave" and basically force ourselves to "fit in" more in order to avoid trouble or quite frankly... being perceived as a jerk (e.g. when constantly interrupting people in conversations, general impulsivity, etc.)
So I do think that such ticks can be part of ADHD, I don't really think that they're in the same ballpark as the stuff from Tourette's Syndrom - even though both are involuntary. I also like Anita's stream a lot - she's super wholesome and really smart. She's super good at expressing herself with words, it's incredible how accurate her verbal elaboration's are.
stimming > tics
Just diagnosed with ADHD yesterday and started taking medication right away.
What's mind-blowing is that the Venn diagram between your experience and mine is almost a circle. I've always thought that it was my fault that I struggled with attention, impulsivity, prolonged focus on things that are not interesting and/or not urgent, not being organized, etc. I slowly spiraled into depression for not having self discipline and generally not being successful as my friends.
This video shed light on why I'm the way that I am and helped me to stop self criticizing and self loathing. Thank you so much.
That whole bit about object permanence was truly eye-opening. It explained everything why I like to organize and plan stuffs/tasks/projects/schedules in certain ways. I cannot thank you enough.
Im glad it resonated with you ❤️
thank you for. your support!
This is the most remarkable video and articulate explanation of what it is like to have ADHD and the experience of the impact of medication on it. I am 72 with a late diagnosis at age 54. Going on medication was a miracle experience for me. Prior to my diagnosis I created a world view and coping strategies and habits to function in the world I experienced. After my diagnosis and with the support of medication I have spent the last 18 years learning about my ADHD so I can then unlearn a lifetime of strategies and habits that either did not serve me as I thought they did or no longer serve as I understand this neuro-diversity that is me. Of course, you letting go of what does not serve means and then learning about and experiment with new things to replace it with ADHD which impedes new learning takes time and the effort often feels exhausting until enough small pieces and successes build up into a supportive habit. One thing about your video is that for the things we have in common and I resonated with I knew you share my inner life. I am just coming away heart-broken at the end of a 7 year relationship with a woman who has been my friend for 42 years. Some of the relationship dynamics that cause problems were new to me which can now see played themselves out, yet again. For these such things you mentioned that I did/do not recognize in myself, yet, or have words for, you opened up new possibilities in terms of self-awareness and approaches to learn (after much unlearning of the old). Hopefully some of these new possibilities when applied could leading to a better, more fulfilled life for me, and your other viewers. I have many others to share this with. Thank you.
im glad the video resonated with you ❤️
I recently learned that I have ADHD, and things are suddenly so clear to me about why it has been so difficult to function as a “normal” adult. Thank you for sharing your story and what you have learned. I resonate with almost everything you said and found your video very helpful and comforting in a way.
glad it was helpful!
Thanks for sharing! This is actually one of the very best videos I’ve seen on ADHD. It’s all so relatable. I’d really love to see more videos on ADHD from you. Some things I’d be interesting to hear more about are: 1. your medication’s effect on your emotions. You say you would avoid and repress and not be able to process without meds. Do you actually feel your emotions more? Like get in touch with them? Know your feelings better? There’s always talk about the roller coaster of feeling and intensity of feelings, but research also shows that ppl with adhd often can’t get in touch with their feelings and know what they are feeling. If you also avoid and repress from avoidant attachment f.ex. then feelings will be very unknown. I wonder if medication effects that. I have heard people who started feeling feelings they never had felt before, like happiness, affective empathy, even love and also anger. It’s so interesting. I’d love to hear your thoughts/experiences on this. 2. They say ppl with adhd have trouble understanding not only their own, but other people’s feelings. And thus lacking ability for mentaliziation. This can lead to not being able to take other people’s perspectives. And when there’s also a lack of feeling affective empathy, this can lead to social difficulties of course, and be damaging to relationships and to partners, and children (for parents). So, apart from the inability to focus, and thus not focusing on partner/friends in conversations, and the lack of object constancy, there can also be the empathy issues, both emotional and cognitive empathy. Do you have any thoughts on this?
3. I have read a lot about adhd, but the object constancy was a bit of a new term to me. It perfectly explains all those practical issues you talked about, but I also think it might explain why some ppl with adhd can be very black or white in their thinking and feelings. A lack of object constancy will make you see a person as all good or all bad. You won’t be able to keep more aspects of a person in your mind at the same time. So if a person makes you feel negative feelings they will be coloured all black. And you cannot see how everyone have a bit of all kinds of traits and they are just a whole, human person. It’s just either black or white. And when they are painted black, your memory will paint all memories of them black as well, affected by the negative feelings of now. (Also an aspect of episodic memory). I think this can also partly explain some of the stories you tell of earlier relationships. When it all goes black there’s nothing to love, and it feels like you never even loved them, and never even was infatuated and put them on a pedestal painting them all white. This will all be gone. 4. The avoidant attachment will also make you repress all those confusing feelings, and you will mostly just feel a constant low-grade irritation, annoyance and even low-grade depression. I wonder how medication can affect this? Just me thinking out loud. 5. I love the way you explain RSD. Never heard it explained to well. It’s very interesting that it can actually lead us to push partners and others away, instead of relating and attaching, out of fear of rejection, or even from not being able to process feelings of rejection, and thus just go silent and withdraw causing more damage to the relationship, and self sabotage so in the end there’s nothing but those negative feelings again.
6. Did you have this constant feeling of restlessness? Or unease? And did it calm down on medication? How did you deal with it before? I have seen ppl having a constant need to either do things like extreme sports, or work a lot, or play an instrument or whatnot, and just never being able to be calm and present with the ppl in their lives. This can also be a relationship-killer. I wonder if medication will affect those feelings so you can be calm and present, and just not have the constant need to escape because of restlessness/boredom. 7. Did medication affect the way you relate to time.
Sorry for so many questions and a rant. I was very inspired by your amazing video, and so my adhd took over there for a bit. Thanks again!
great thing to send me in my FAQ report: github.com/BryanJenksCommunity/FAQ/discussions instead of the youtube comment, the format here makes me run from long form comments lol but at least for #1, therapy helped the most with that
Thank you for this. It definitely speaks to me. I have an assessment coming up and I’m worried about how I can articulate myself about what I go through everyday... this video has certainly helped! Big thank you Bryan
Glad it was helpful!
I'm curious, how did your assessment go? I just had mine and the person I talked to was really good about fishing the right information out of the "brain soup" that is my mind.
@@LinkoLinx9 honestly dont remember, i was a teen at the time when i got my Dx and i dont remember anything about it
@@LinkoLinx9 someone gave me the tip to write it down when calm
Me too my First Zoom appointment with Psychiatrist is in like an hour!?
I stayed up all night….. ugggggg
But I can do this! Lol I really hope. My ass is all 45 years old 🤭😁
I’m ready as I’m gonna be, I’ve got like a month of solid notes. To help me communicate all this out ….🤞🏻
Take Care!
Bryan, thanks so much for your transparency in making this video. My 9 year old son was just diagnosed with ADHD Combined Type. Your ability, as an adult, to articulate what may also be going on inside my son is so helpful. Putting him on medication is a concern for us, but hearing testimonies like yours give insight into what can be the benefits. It's also a blessing to see you thriving at life. Thanks again.
i wish my parents had put me on medication earlier, the medication helping to reinforce good habits and behaviors while having the neuralplasticity of youth would have greatly benefitted me as an adult and helped with medication reliance. caveat im not a medical professional
Just started meds today, i look forward to maybe seeing the end of my insomnia and constant day sleeping. I feel you on the emotion regulation!!!
How have you been?
Hi, I'm 45 and absolutely convinced at this point that I have ADHD as well as being autistic (still on the waiting list for diagnosis of either condition). I also experience that rejection sensitivity and, after watching another video that addressed the topic, I believe that it comes from having been so used to rejection or not being accepted for who I am and having to "mask" from childhood onwards. As a result, I feel rejection even when it's not intended. The example you gave of having an argument with your SO - same thing with me. Then the feeling of rejection results in me going into emotional shutdown, at which point I can't feel anything except an empty pit in my chest, and that can last for 24 - 36 hours.
RSD can be horrible, but its gotten a little better over time for me, but a lot of that is trying to work and grow past a lot of trauma
When someone misunderstands me and I feel rejected, I run away. I have done this my whole life and only recently have come realise why.
Interestingly enough, I first tried to watch this video when I was suspecting that I might have ADHD and I was desperate, and just needing change; medication or whatever! 3 weeks later I still haven’t been diagnosed but I’m 1000% positive that being ND has been why I’ve been “stuck “ my whole life. Anyways, when I first started watching the video I couldn’t just sit and watch him sit in one spot just talking. So I tried to listen. Started falling asleep. I started taking nootropics and using mushroom supplements. It helped so much. First of all, I didn’t even know I HAD brain fog! After 39 years, I’ve just accepted that I think differently from everyone else (boy was I right). This time, i was not inky able to watch the video, I actually enjoyed quite a bit. It’s cool to know that we are not alone in this because people can be very very harsh concerning ADHD.
you're not alone! glad the video resonated :)