Meanwhile... Bitcoin Mouse DNA Plan Involves Use Of Genetically Engineered Virus
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- čas přidán 31. 01. 2022
- Meanwhile... Stephen looks at a dubious plan to use a virus to splice blockchain code with the DNA of a live rodent. What could go wrong #Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes. - Zábava
That was nice of the cop to deliver her food and have a sense of humor about it.
Does one tip an officer? #showerthoughts
Love that cop’s attitude! I can’t believe he actually delivered the meal. I pray the universe goes easy on him this year.
Fuck him. He should receive the same hostility he’s putting into the universe by kidnapping people for money. Majority of bench warrants are for petty infractions which do not impact public safety. City governments are abusing poor people incarcerating them and locking them in a cycle of debt peonage which leads to car impounding and loss of employment.
That door dasher will have his car towed. If he can’t afford to get it out he will have no way to make money but sell drugs or commit robbery.
How can you people not see that Police promote crime and make our communities LESS safe.
Fermi Paradox solution: Every highly advanced civilization eventually creates a Bitcoin mouse using a genetically engineered virus, and then destroys itself.
Or find their planet demolished by a Zogon construction fleet.
Vogon? You'll have to excuse me, It's been a while since I've read any science fiction.
That or from discovering our first radio transmissions they could tell our technological development would steer towards bitcoin mice so they all made a gentleman’s agreement to never engage with us
Dumbest Ways to Die: Planetary Edition
@@samreid6010 Avoid Earth. They are nuts.
"A mouse holding the key to your crypto wallet" sounds like the exact thing someone who's high would think to make.
Most people would just write it down. I wonder how many passwords SIRI has saved.
I have never been that high.
No doubt you have discovered the genesis of the project right there.
*house cat enters chat*
That or a weirdly economics focused sub plot of a Kingdom Hearts game.
I love that the mice preferred to eat roller blades instead of a Big Mac and fries.
The door dash driver gets busted, but we still can't throw the mad cheeto into jail.
Regarding the McDonald's story, I used to work at a salvage yard. We would find their fries in cars, sometimes even in glove-boxes for some reason. Though they were many years old they looked like that were bought the night before. Insects and rodents never touched them.
Apparently even bacteria wouldn't!
The fries make sense, because if I remember correctly the heat of frying them kills any organisms in it, and the salt and oil coating it keep mold, bugs, rodents etc. away.
I have no idea why the burger wasn't rotten, though.
@@grimwolf9988 Whatever the reasons are my rule is if Texas ants don't eat it it aint food.
"Douche Mouse" -- only Colbert's writers could come up with that one. Hilarious.
The absolute best part about the Iceland Big Mac: You see that glass dome? It wasn't there from the beginning. They had to put it there because people kept stealing fries and eating them, knowing full well that they are over a decade old
Well, they are the best fries.
Ick! Their fries aren’t that good when they’re fresh.
hasn't the 'food' been chemically treated to preserve it? or does it naturally not rot and decompose?!
*That's not a Big Mac.* It looks like a bun with nothing on it. It certainly DOESN'T look like "two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun."
@@kathleenr4047 There's a rumor going on that says an American tourist was missing his junk food that badly that he broke in one night and ate the then 8 year old patties🤫
That is the coolest thing that cop did! Outstanding! I would have loved to get that order from him!
OMG! That convo between Stephen and John about these devices listening to our conversations is exactly the one I had with my family recently !!!
I’d sue for copyright infringement, if I were American. (That’s what y’all do, right?)
@@ichijofestival2576 so can a phone tho
We’ve all had that conversation at one time or another, unfortunately.
On more than one occasion, Alexa at my house relayed a conversation happening in real time at my son's house (where I'd logged in last). Yep, Alexa was reading out a transcript of their conversation to the Alexa in my livingroom. :-O
That’s amazing.
I'm looking forward to about five years from now, when the people who hid their Bitcoin account codes in mouse DNA learn that mice live two years.
They're looking into feeding Bitcoin mice food from McDonald's to take advantage of the preservative effect on living tissue
Understanding the over the 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈 grooming, of the border made to order children flying late late at night. The Hugh Hefner foster care system, of cutting edgy DNC swingers party animal dancing dope fiends. The foster kids flood of the Cartel and the disco inferno late night flights of the Biden Team players. Sex junk 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈 foster care. Maxwells sisters of the Playboy Manson dope fiend foster care struggle.
@@robertaldaron4870 Understanding the over the 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈 grooming, of the border made to order children flying late late at night. The Hugh Hefner foster care system, of cutting edgy DNC swingers party animal dancing dope fiends. The foster kids flood of the Cartel and the disco inferno late night flights of the Biden Team players. Sex junk 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈 foster care. Maxwells sisters of the Playboy Manson dope fiend foster care struggle.
@@fuzzofrizzbeebot2775 Wouldn't you rather be spending your time attacking innocent DC area pizza shop owners and their customers until you find the one fronting for that imaginary cabal of child sex and baby eating cannibals run by the Dems and Hollywood elites?
C'mon.... you know you would.
....or that their snake ate their bitcoin mouse.
The reason that McDonalds food looks mostly intact is that it's salty, the meat is thin, and it dries out very, very quickly. That burger and those fries are completely desiccated, and will decay only very, very slowly.
Also the cryptobros have completely lost their shit. I hope they screw up and get eaten by a five hundred pound mouse with laser vision and a massive thagomizer on its tail.
Untouched by mice and mold. That last story freaked me out a bit ngl.
Sorry for sounding stupid... but what does 'ngl' mean? 🥴
@@PADS62 not gonna lie
@@PADS62 Nothing stupid about not knowing text-speak.
@@mb4654 I would classify it as internet slang rather than textspeak, mainly because I associate textspeak with stupid things like "how r u m8" but I also don't want to split hairs :)
This always bothers me a bit. We can fly helicopters on Mars, clone individuals, etc., but when it comes to keeping processed food edible for a few years we're suddenly suspicious. It's all just chemicals. The longer we can keep a food item from being inedible is a benefit to society.
that was an awesome officer.
Thanks to the officer for his commitment to serve.
That was a very good gesture.
Up with Peelers just like his.peace officers who actually knew the people in the town they worked in. So our worst alcoholics- who were brothers' - were never treated badly nor disrespected. Where kids necking and maybe smoking a dubie were ignored or told to go home and-" hows your Dad? That last fire must have been hard. How many years on the FD? Ya well we all knew he was a hero. ". My wife says " Hi" to your mom.
My dog ate my homework. And my cat ate my bitcoin. Rough week.
LOL! Great one!
Okay but respect to that police officer for delivering the food even though it most certainly wasn't his job to do so lol
I keep thinking his writers are going to run out of intro material, but I keep being pleasantly surprised! Keep up the good work!
A long time ago I had the idea that someone with a genetics degree could encode their resume into a mouse's DNA & give the mouse to a potential employer. I didn't think anyone would actually try storing information in DNA...
Yesterday I learned that a human cell can store about 70MB. The more you know ...
Yeah, I'm confused by this. Mice don't live a long time. Even if they reproduce, their offspring will have genetic recombination. It must be the bitcoin side of this I'm not understanding. Actually, wait. No. None of this makes sense.
“The question isn’t ‘am I good enough to work for you?’ it’s ‘are you good enough to hire me?’”
Another great conversation with Jon. Love it. 👍
Understanding the over the 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈 grooming, of the border made to order children flying late late at night. The Hugh Hefner foster care system, of cutting edgy DNC swingers party animal dancing dope fiends. The foster kids flood of the Cartel and the disco inferno late night flights of the Biden Team players. Sex junk 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈 foster care. Maxwells sisters of the Playboy Manson dope fiend foster care struggle.
I understand the Icelandic mice. about 15 years ago, I walked outside and saw a McD's burger and fries on the ground about 12 inches from a dead bird. All kinds of fauna were feasting on the bird: flies, roaches, gnats, another bird. NOT ONE THING was on the burger and fries. I haven't eaten McD's since.
“Paranoid backyard standoff.” Now that evokes an image.
Jon is stylin’ - he brings it every show !
He could use a sense of humor.
Just what the world needed, mice offering to talking about cryptocurrency.
The last time I saw talking mice, they were trying to poison Arthur Dent and his friends to be able to reset the computer known as Earth.
@@MonkeyJedi99 I find that highly, almost infinitely improbable.😉
It’ll make as much sense as when any other species tries to discuss why it exists! 🤣
i mean Mr. Mouse makes a sh*tload of Money so.....
lol
Ah, leave mice alone. Don't make them suffer from any of humanity's greedy "necessities".
I love when he and Jon converse. Jon is a talented musician and symphonic genius BUT he is also an intelligent and witty conversationalist. I hope they have more interactions because I really enjoy it.
And I wish Jon had the chance to be more than just a musician and sidekick
@@FadkinsDiet I understand what you're saying but I don't think of Jon as the sidekick. I think of him as the artist in residence, the music laureate if you will. I'm sure if Jon wanted a different role or extended role, he could ask for it. The man is an MULTI award winning musician. I think the reason why he's there is because he loves what he does. He transits joy through sound waves. You can tell he loves that. I think people love hearing his music and therefore love to hear what he has to say. I think if he didn't want to participate in those conversations, he wouldn't. I feel like calling him just a musician is like calling Scheherazade a nice tune. Also, I don't think he or Stephen or anyone else thinks of him as the sidekick, because he's the main event at his job. And while I don't know him, I don't think he's the type of guy who thinks of himself as sidekick or headliner. He seems like someone who's above that because he's just in it for the love of music and harmonizing, whether it's with his musician peers, or with Stephen. That's my take on it anyway.
I wish someone would draw or animate Steve's Meanwhile Intro Insanity Speeches.
💯
I didn't know who you were talking about at first. Since you don't know, Stephen Colbert NEVER goes by 'Steve'. It's Stephen. Even his wife calls him Stephen.
@@kathleenr4047 Isn't Steve short for both Stephen and Steven? Steph is it's own name, right? Like the basketball player who's last name I don't know how spell but sounds like "curry". I know a guy named Thomas that goes by Tom even though there's no "h" in Tom, so I know shortened names could be spelled with missing or different letters.
Thank God for the meanwhile segments reminding us that weird shit continues happening despite the panini 😂
The door dash shout out is much better than the the usual Pfizer product placement adds which are normally on this show
They should change the "sometimes, just sometimes" in the meanwhile introduction to "atleast three times a week, just three times a week" now lol.
I'm stoned ... what???
"Sometimes just sometimes folks" is one of my favorite things... Don't mess with it!
In 1988 I tried my first, and last Macdonald's burger. Disgusting. I immediately threw it to my friends german shepherd who sniffed it for a few seconds before walking away. Aparently, he didn't recognize it as food, and I couldn't agree more.
With all the mouse stories, you really missed an opportunity to have a special Meanwhile sub-segment: Murinewhile
Bitcoin “Bank” = Zip-lock plastic bags of dead mice in the freezer.
Hahaha! Brilliant!
Understanding the over the 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈 grooming, of the border made to order children flying late late at night. The Hugh Hefner foster care system, of cutting edgy DNC swingers party animal dancing dope fiends. The foster kids flood of the Cartel and the disco inferno late night flights of the Biden Team players. Sex junk 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈 foster care. Maxwells sisters of the Playboy Manson dope fiend foster care struggle.
john batiste and stay human are a shining light of joy
You're research on weed must be incorrect, I have rebuilt an entire server room and network system while completely stoned, and that company still wants me to work for them...
Stephen definitely needs to pick something funny to tell all of our devices to do, my alexa answers to Amazon and CZcams sets it off all the time 😂
He did that a few years back! He said "Alexa, remind me to watch The Late Show at 11:35pm only on CBS!"
Anybody else still waiting for him to go "Quarantinewhile" for a second before realising... No... ? 😂
Earlier today, news about auto monitoring of School Zone Traffic, *everyone* wants safety there.
But when that and microphones in your pocket are *always on,* a Surveillance State Dystopia is encroaching.
I noticed that the delivery was Arby's, and as an Arby's employee, I can entirely understand how it was that someone with a warrant ended up delivering for Door Dash.
Trash Talk from an Arby's Employee.
How far are we from another Gilded Age? Only a few more Federalist Society picks for Judges, another Tax Cut and some good old distraction media.
It makes sense. Delivering for DoorDash is a bit like resorting to crime, in that they're both acts of tremendous desperation. I can only imagine what might drive someone to both.
Must've been a dilemma for the cop. "Hmm, I'm supposed to serve and protect. Do I serve, by delivering the Arby's order? Or do I protect by not delivering it?"
It was a traffic ticket warrant.
Come please
Understanding the over the 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈 grooming, of the border made to order children flying late late at night. The Hugh Hefner foster care system, of cutting edgy DNC swingers party animal dancing dope fiends. The foster kids flood of the Cartel and the disco inferno late night flights of the Biden Team players. Sex junk 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈 foster care. Maxwells sisters of the Playboy Manson dope fiend foster care struggle.
As a biologist, I have to wonder: _Qhy_ do they want to store "Bitcon code" in a mouse's DNA... and how? I mean, yes, they're going to splice it in with CRISPER, that's not difficult, but are they planning on translating the 0s and 1s into nucleotides and then just insert that as "junk-DNA" without a start sequence so that it's not read by the cell? (Probably wouldn't code for any amino acids regardless, but still.) More importantly, _how are they going to read the code out from the mouse without having to sequence its genome every time? How would you know where on the chromosomes it's inserted?
It's like some Cryptobro idiot read an article about using artificial DNA or RNA as long term data storage, or "DNA computers", and combined that with some Scifi short story for a really dumb and impractical idea.
@CrunchyFrog As a biologist, I assume you also know it's CRISPR (Clustered Regularly Interspaced Short Palindromic Repeats.) But is Qhy to Why the same as pwned is to owned?
I think you're right, this is a stunt purely for its own sake; more a demonstration of writing so reliably with CRISPR that you can give someone this mouse instead of a piece of paper in order to provide them with the keycode. (Though they still have to have the mouse's DNA read to get it.)
About as useful as jumping a motorcycle over 20 buses, or trying to "jump" over the Snake River, or...well, you know.
Also, what is the life expectancy of a mouse?
@@CelonixCleaningServicesLLC and it's not you
Wow! Did you know the guy!!??? That's EXACTLY what happened.
@@CelonixCleaningServicesLLC None of us had any idea who you were, either, until you self-identified by responding to that label 😂. Thanks for helping us avoid you in the future.
Love seeing the lovely band pan shot back as the opening of meanwhile. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Meanwhile healed a nation.
Humans: afraid of vaccines
Also humans: lol Bitcoin mouse virus let's goooooooo!
Recognized as food by ONLY 1 species😂😂
Cats will looks at the mouse and say, “free food”, and all those things they out inside it are now worthless.
🤣 your comment is noted as "edited" and yet it still makes no sense 🤣
@@hurdygurdyguy1 Cat eats mouse. Now nobody has access to that crypto.
"this mouse tastes funny!" the cat
I love how this whole Meanwhile was just taking the piss out of humans in general.
What can you say about the human species.... the jokes just write themselves.
It's my out most pleasure having you here. Hope you've all been vaccinated.
That cop did not have to do that. Door Dash would've sent another driver and they would've remade her food. Driver would've got a black mark (which he probably will now anyway). But good on that officer for doing it anyway.
The cop hear that the client was cute so he put in the extra effort, just the same way I am after seeing your DP. ;)
yeah then its a fake DP LOL just as the cop realized
Understanding the over the 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈 grooming, of the border made to order children flying late late at night. The Hugh Hefner foster care system, of cutting edgy DNC swingers party animal dancing dope fiends. The foster kids flood of the Cartel and the disco inferno late night flights of the Biden Team players. Sex junk 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈 foster care. Maxwells sisters of the Playboy Manson dope fiend foster care struggle.
He wasn’t hard on the eyes either, lol
ya, 2 hours later...
Day to day public relations for law enforcement are absolutely crucial, so good on that cop, he understands his job much better than most who wear the badge. Or to put it differently: a little kindness goes a long way.
The intro to these always are my favorite but this one takes the cake
Got both Siri AND Alexa to go off. Kudos Stephen, kudos.
Many Alexas were triggered by Stephen, now she will be recommending the Late Show Podcast...
Reading your comment, I put my ear piece in so the numerous Alexas' placed around the house don't wake my wife up.
Why even have an Alexa, it spies on you while you sleep!
My future battle , telling my kids they cant have that Alexa in my house .
Better than a dollhouse...
Seth Meyers did it twice last week. Glad I don't have one
LOVE JOHN AND STAY HUMAN !!!
How was this not an episode of Stephen's long-running subsegment, Mousewhile?
Do they know that mice only live a few years?
John Baptiste and Stay Human..A-MAY-ZING!
You Go Boy , you in your WONDERFUL 2003 SUNBIRD!!!!!!! WHY NOT? THERE WAS A little sanity still left then❗❗
Meanwhile...Meanwhile officially takes over The Late Show with Stephen Colbert through a bloodless coup 👀
Alien 1: Humans arn't ready for the truth.
Alien 2: No, no, they just started something similar with mice.
Wonder what the dolphins think of that?
@@STEVENFRYFRY they're all leaving with a "So long, and thanks for all the fish!!"
No one does it like Stephen Colbert when it comes to making a plain English word (such as "meanwhile") sound hilarious.
He is a talent and an artist.
Sioux Falls is a city filled with some of the nicest people in the world. And the police are super nice.
It's much better than Omaha and smaller as well.
People can be so ignorant when it comes to the wonderful qualities of the "flyover " states
The music transition to Jon/Stephen’s conversations are the best part of the show!!!
If any animators are looking for something to animate, do those meanwhile intros. Do the pretty part and the deranged.
As someone who has produced a lot of animation for tv commercials, I think you have a great idea there!
Even the mice say "man, this food is cold and it's old. Gimme some dyed leather instead."
Douchemouse killed me. I can't even communicate how this touched me. Bravo! Also a real lol.
Good morning to all Europeans!
Love Meanwhile...but exta love Jon and Stay Human!
This may be the funniest meanwhile yet 😂
I just watched all of us are dead. Zombie virus starts when a rat bites someone. I'm still traumatized and now my brain thinks putting Bitcoin passwords in rats will start the apocalypse
So I've been a McDonald's worker for many years, and I can say for certain. That is no big Mac. #Ripiceland
As someone who once bought one in a Bulgarian McDonald's, yeah it is.
We forget that we're not the only land mass on the face of this planet.
LSSC - all time best joke! The new “”M” slogan!
I'm a stoner and my memory is perfectly fine, I even play chess while stoned and I tend to win quite often. I'm sure there's a cognitive decline for many who smoke but some of us that do it day to day are perfectly fine.
Probably because we were intelligent to begin with!
I started out with an 136 IQ
Not gonna lie, many years of smoking daily, those points are down a few
I wonder about these studies. Did they test stoners with questioners? Or did they give them tests over the years? How could they be sure the cognitive decline was from the pot. Where did their weed come from?
When I was growing up I had idiot stoners I new who got weed from a curtain dealer. It was brick weed but they said it was trippy. I found out it was pcp on their weed.
Compare the average individual whom walks into a liquor store with folks that wait in line at the dispensary.A liquor store in a nice neighborhood even attracts degenerates compared to vegan kombucha slurping hipsters
Do you play the Bongcloud opening? 1.e4 e5 2.Ke2?
The mouse crypto scheme sounds like something out of my nightmares, except for the part about DNA storage. We actually need that.
To what lengths will a con man try to sell the crypto pyramid.
The problem is we don't know what problems that could cause in the animal or how to make it last longer than like...2 years. HDD drives last longer than mice do so it's kind of pointless
The TV show The Travelers used the genetics of stored blood for data.
@@gaigetucker6242 yes but in some forms DNA can he preserved for thousands of years. That's how we got mammoth DNA. So while it won't be usefull yet, it's an important step into a kind of storage that can store magnitudes more Then we can currently. One single gram of DNA can store 215 Petabytes. There is only about 1200 Petabytes of information in the entire Internet. If we could pull off storage that effectively we could store the entire knowledge contained on the internet in **5 grams** of DNA. You could carry around all knowledge openly accessible to the human race in your pocket and you wouldn't even notice the weight difference.
@@karlfranzemperorofmandefil5547 Yah but you will still need a laboratory in the other pocket to process the info.
Marijuana makes you remember shit you wish you could forget. 😏
A Meanwhile for the dads!
Imagine *not* reporting a mouse infestation to the landlords of your apartment because you're too busy figuring out how to check the mice DNA to see if they've got bitcoin keys.
Calling it now, there's gonna be a weird surge in people applying for degrees related to genetic engineering.
It’s strange there is no huge smartphone producer that‘s just built on privacy. Yeah, there’s Fairphone and other small producers, but listening to peoples complaints you’d think Fairphone would become bigger than Apple. Phones listening in doesn’t seem to bother people enough to buy another brand. Or just go into their privacy settings.
LoL - If you down a jug of Miracle-Gro, it’s gonna be a pretty short standoff once it kicks in.
Mouse first human next
To be fair, rollerblades are known for keeping their edibility and staying fresh as they were for a long time.
Must suck for Steven that no matter how crisp his suits are, sartorially he’ll always be playing second fiddle to Jon.
Lom, nobody makes Jon stay in the corner! He WILL be noticed!
Those meanwhile intros are the "Hamilton" of the 2020's
I laughed so hard at the Pontiac Sunfire joke! LOL AHAHAHAHA
Mc Donald’s stays in your arteries forever.
John seems like such a sweet guy
Yes no privacy. I think San Francisco can smell my sweat from Florida
We love you, Joe!! Welcome back!
Welcome back Joe‼️ It’s so great to see him back on the drum set‼️
I’ve missed seeing him‼️ 😍😍😍
Some of these scientists never asked the question “and then what..?”
Sometimes, just sometimes, folks
That's how you protect and serve
McDonalds: 'You'd rather eat rollerblades. TM"
Douche Mouse is my spirit animal.
Haha, protect and serve indeed
I wouldn't have such a thing as "Alexa" for precisely that reason!
Dude Jon's band ROCKS
Hats off to that police officer!
Yeah, let's all laugh at the guy scraping by as a door dash driver and celebrate the cop for only destroying one life, and saving someone's lunch.
Okay, so then you know what the outstanding warrant was for, and the seriousness of the charges?
A delivery driver could be anything from an axe murderer to just a petty thief.
Unless the cop had a time machine, he wasn't the one who gave that person a criminal record...that would fall to the person themselves.
@@ThamiumOne I'm pretty sure if the warrant was for axe murder, that would be the lead.
@@sagittated - Obviously it would.
But it sounded as if you were saying that not only should the arrest not have taken place (again, not knowing precisely what the situation was) and then somehow it was the cop's fault for "destroying" their life.
My point was that whatever destruction took place leads back to the initial crime, not starting with the resulting arrest.
the subtitles is on right time! I love it, keep that!
I’ve never had an Alexa or a Siri and stuff I’ve been talking about show up on my phone. It’s your phone that’s listening to you.
What happened to my bit coin?
The cat ate it!