“MOM, THANKS, BUT NO THANKS!”: THE REBELLION AGAINST FAMILY HEIRLOOMS
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- čas přidán 15. 05. 2024
- My newest article for Sixty and Me. ✍️📰📚🖊️
Explore the contemporary debate surrounding family heirlooms in this engaging video. We delve into the motivations behind rejecting traditional inheritance practices, examining the balance between sentimentality and practicality. Join me as I navigate this nuanced discussion and challenge conventional views on familial legacies. Like, comment, and subscribe to join the conversation! 🗝️💬
MEET RITA
My name is Rita Wilkins and I am known as The Downsizing Designer. As a nationally recognized interior design and lifestyle design expert, I have dedicated my career to helping aspiring minimalists to reimagine, reinvent, and redesign their lives to live with more abundance and freedom. As a TEDx speaker and author of the Amazon #1 bestseller "Downsize Your Life, Upgrade Your Lifestyle: Secrets to More Time, Money and Freedom", I have shared my insights and expertise with audiences nationwide. Let's embark on this decluttering journey together!
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As a younger baby boomer “64”…you’ve shed light of why my kids are rejecting heirlooms which I am now selling off. TY your video was very much needed.
Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I'm glad to hear that my video was helpful in shedding light on why your kids may be rejecting heirlooms. It can be a difficult and emotional process to let go of these items, but it's important to understand and respect the reasons behind their decisions. If you have any further questions or concerns, please feel free to reach out. Thank you for watching and for your kind words.
Roxie...check out Generation Jones.
I see myself heading towards the attitudes and lifestyle of the last group discussed. I am a baby boomer, 65 years old and the more excess possessions I get rid of the better I feel.
It's wonderful to hear that you're finding joy and fulfillment in simplifying your life and shedding excess possessions. Embracing a minimalist mindset can bring a sense of clarity and freedom as you focus on what truly matters to you.
My kids don't want my stuff but my teenage granddaughters sure do. They have dibs on my house, my bed, my china, my crystal, my artwork, my dollhouse and other family heirlooms. It's a good thing I have a giant basement.
Just sell the stuff so you can enjoy the money now. Then they will go to someone who will appreciate it. So sell it all now. And go on a nice vacation.
Are their parents on board with this? Teenagers usually don't own and maintain houses all by themselves.
@@goofygirl1311 They aren't taking the things now, they just have dibs on them for the future when they have their own homes.
@@TPayne-fm8ie I'm close to 60 and both of my sons are in their early 20's. One is in a dorm room, one is in an efficiency apartment. Both still have most of their stuff at our house. It will likely be years before they actually own their own homes. We've been getting them to declutter their own stuff, too.
My grand daughter has all my “cool clothes” in her closet at this point. 😎😄😄
I’m a baby boomer and I don’t want my stuff! I love simplicity and my kids have started shedding their stuff too. Less to manage is great freedom!
Keep telling yourself that,,,, there might come a time soon where you might need what you threw away…. Like clothing, containers, lots of things. I remember my Grandmother saying some people during the depression days didn’t even have much clothing or shoes before the depression and had nothing during it to buy…. In Serbia and Kosovo,,, it was medicines and tools and everyday supplies like pots n pans and containers to hold foods in, etc…. Don’t let yourself get too bare, war is coming.
We've gotten rid of a ton of our stuff, too. I still had my 40 year old prom dress with the dry cleaner's plastic on it - that's gone now. We got rid of a 30 year old love seat and a 14 year old couch. Didn't need them, don't miss them one bit. You don't realize how much stuff you've pack ratted away until you start to go through it all. Stacks of old greeting cards, books, old tee shirts, school supplies, scouting gear, old plates with cracks and chips in them, coffee mugs, an old wok with a crack in the lid, artwork stored away in closets, etc. We've given some of it away, we've sold some of it and we've pitched some of it straight into the trash. None of it was something that we were using or would ever need to use again, especially since we plan on downsizing.
@@beverlybalius9303 Jesus is coming so I won’t need years worth of clothes.
😂😂😂. Yep
Embracing simplicity brings great freedom, and it's wonderful to see your kids following your lead.
I'm a boomer. My grandmother was the "original minimalist." I always felt a loss of heirlooms. Luckily I have my mother's things. Now my children want nothing. Its sad. Thank you for this video.
Thanks for your comment. It is not always easy to accept that younger generations don't want our stuff, but hopefully we can all find other ways to connect with our adult children and share our stories and maybe even over baking cookies together. Keep creating memories!
Another idea, I've given items with value to my grandchildren with the understanding that they will sell them to help with education costs. They take on the hassle of selling it but they get to keep the money.
A great summary of the views of different generations on "stuff".👍🏽💯
Thanks! Indeed! It's fascinating to observe the varied perspectives on possessions across generations.
I’m a boomer, born in 1945. I agree with what you’re saying. But for me I’ve always preferred living with very little “stuff” around me. Lately I’m doing even more purging. I just want to live with trees all around me and a beautiful park I can walk through.
Thanks for your comment. Living with less is obviously a lifestyle that you have discovered and embraced.
Gen-X daughter here: I left home at 22 to build a career in the military. For most of my life, I moved constantly, taking only what I could fit in a few suitcases. "Objects" are a burden to me. The most valuable things I got from my family, are the sweet memories and critical life lessons. Those matter - and I will always carry them with me. The best part of my heritage is not something that sits on a shelf. The Hummel figurines that crowd my mothers china hutch will someday go to goodwill.
I'm 58 and have never had big china hutches in my house. I have a small corner cabinet in our dining room that has a few precious things in it. Most of the stuff inside that cabinet will be going to our kids. It could literally fit into one or two book boxes.
I agree. At 81, I now see the futility of holding on to things that are no longer of any importance. China, crystal , and all kinds of furniture, jewelry etcetera, is not valued by younger people. They are not obligated to value them. My generation was taught that grandmother’s things were as valuable as Grandma herself had been. That simply isn’t true. Her value was so much higher and so much more valuable than any flour sifter or roasting pan could ever be.
@@sharondoan1447 We're all just 2 generations away from being forgotten. I'm glad my family members were historians and valued their history through pictures and treasures. My grandchildren know these people. Their lives mattered. It helps them understand family values and how they came to be through the passing of time.
@@laurawilliams2790 I do not believe that material things are necessary for the remembrance of me. . People are very different in their understanding about these things. Some of those understandings are religiously based. Mine definitely are. I am a temporary presence on this earth, a traveler just passing through on my way Home. Whatever I have owned and used or enjoyed, I will leave behind without a moment’s hesitation and I hope my family will do whatever they want to with my things. No guilt or regret about my things going to Goodwill or the landfill. They are not me. They are in no way the essence of me.
Your perspective is both insightful and refreshing. It's evident that your focus on memories and life lessons transcends material possessions. Your experiences in the military, with frequent moves and minimal belongings, highlight the true value of intangible treasures like memories and lessons learned. While physical objects may hold sentimental value for some, it's the richness of experiences and relationships that truly shape our lives. Your willingness to let go of material possessions in favor of carrying meaningful memories forward is a testament to your resilience and wisdom.
Great discussion regarding all the differences between generations. Thank you
Thanks for watching!
No one in my family cares. In the end, we can't take anything with us when we die.
That's really true, isn't it? In the end, we can't take any of this stuff with us. It makes sense to focus on what really matters to us right now, rather than holding onto things just because we feel we have to. Thanks for putting it so straightforwardly-it’s a good reminder to enjoy what we have while we’re here and not get too caught up with what we leave behind.
Im so grateful for my parents stuff. I drink out and eat off fine bone china, use silver cutlery. Beautiful linen bedware, sought after famous lamps in my bedroom and lounge. Makes me wonder how many sought after brands like Tiffany etc have ended up in a tip because it was deemed old fasioned or wortless.
It’s wonderful that you cherish and use your parents' beautiful things! It really adds a touch of elegance to everyday life. It’s sad to think of valuable and unique items ending up discarded because they’re seen as old-fashioned. Your appreciation keeps those treasures alive and honors their history. Thanks for sharing how you’re keeping the legacy alive!
I think that there is a great "dumbing down" of society today. The majority of young people are educated to what is considered a high standard today. However, very often today's educational programs are very competitive and are geared towards preparing students for the work environment only. There is very little cultural or artistic appreciation contained in today's educational programs. In effect this is producing "philistines" who are culturally and artistically barren, devoid of knowledge or appreciation for the arts ,and the beauty within the objects that are being refused by heiresses and heirs of today. The modern pace of life and the "uneasiness" within people that the career culture and the competitiveness that it creates, has heralded in a period in which there is appreciation only for the modern brash symbols of success , like for example vulgar large cars, and large tasteless houses.
Strong opinion. Experiences and people are more important than stuff. God’s nature is the best artist.
It's true that modern education often prioritizes practical skills over cultural and artistic appreciation. This focus on career preparation may lead to a lack of appreciation for the arts and beauty in today's society.
I am a fulltime RVer and in 36' you can't cart around a bunch of stuff even if you wanted to. I am very much a "have done" rather than a "have" in life.
My children want “new stuff”. They lived in more prosperous times than I did. They have all gone to college and trade schools for good paying jobs. Excellent wages have created so many more opportunities for them to travel , including international travel. They do not look back on “old”. However, they do want a family history and photos.
It's interesting how times change, isn't it? Your kids wanting "new stuff" makes sense given the opportunities they have. It’s great that they still value family history and photos, even if they aren’t as interested in the older items. Sharing stories and pictures can be a wonderful way to keep that family connection alive without the physical clutter. Thanks for sharing your experience!
I am 62 and a minimalist,my kids told me not to leave them a bunch of stuff,done.
Older people often think their things are very valuable, not realizing you can’t even give them away. Give your family the freedom to do what they want Yes, my children and grands are big on travel. They travel the world and don’t want “stuff”
I think a factor that often gets overlooked in this discussion is the rise of mass production. I’m a GenXer. My parents are an early boomer and a late silent generation. My mother’s stuff is no nicer or inherently more valuable than mine. I’m talking about her furniture and decor items. Most of it is meaningless to me. A fraction of what is in her house right now has memories attached for me because she’s changed her house so much from when I was a kid. People didn’t use to do that, but Boomer parents do, and probably GenX parents too. I don’t want the vast majority of what is in her house. Like I said, it’s no nicer than mine, and much less to my taste than what I already have. On the other hand, I inherited from my Greatest Generation MIL some pretty awesome early American Ethan Allen. I’m not emotionally attached to it for being heirlooms, but I really like the style of it more than I do modern “farmhouse” furniture. Another factor for me personally is that I don’t have kids so when the time comes I will only want stuff that belonged to my parents that I can enjoy for the rest of my life, whether it’s of financial consequence, like property, or something I cherish purely for sentimental reasons. I see no reason to redecorate my house in my mother’s style especially as her taste is so different from mine. Sorry for the ramble, but I hope some of it makes sense! Lol
Your perspective makes perfect sense! The rise of mass production has indeed changed the landscape of inherited items, making it less about inherent value and more about personal preference and emotional attachment. It's natural that you would prioritize items that align with your taste and bring you joy, whether they're family heirlooms or not. Your approach to valuing items based on personal enjoyment rather than just sentimentality is both practical and meaningful. Ultimately, creating a home environment that reflects your style and brings you happiness is what matters most.
I find it hard to believe that people do not want free, quality furniture. I was grateful for used dressers or end tables.
It’s all available from China now…..☠️
Preferences differ, but there's always someone who will appreciate the generosity of free, quality furniture, making it a gift that can bring joy to someone's home.
I radically downsized six years ago. My husband passed away and my daughter and I wanted to move closer to my son. I had a load of family heirlooms that were unnecessary and the furniture was just too much to clean, while the small things were not really needed or used. I held yard sales and donated what couldn't be sold.
I now have functional furniture that's easier to maintain and almost everything I have are things I actually use. I'm now 68 and can see getting rid of a few more things.
It sounds like you've made some significant but ultimately liberating choices in the face of life changes. Downsizing can be both physically and emotionally freeing, allowing you to prioritize what truly matters and streamline your surroundings to suit your current needs. It's commendable that you took the initiative to declutter and simplify your living space, making it more manageable and comfortable. As you continue on this journey, embracing further simplification can bring even more ease and contentment to your life.
Really good video. Thank you.
I am a gen Xer and I have several of my Great Grandparent’s items and the hubs, a boomer, has several of his parent’s items. We cherish and appreciate these things! Every time I look at them, I appreciate them even more! I see the struggle and the strife I know they went through in order to scratch and save in order to but a nice piece of furniture! I even had my grandparents piano at one point. 💜🙏💜 I have already told my Mom what I would like to have from her heirlooms she has from our family!
It's heartwarming to hear how much you cherish your family heirlooms! Each piece holds so much history and tells a story of perseverance and love. It’s wonderful that you’ve communicated with your mom about the heirlooms you’d like to keep. Thank you for sharing your appreciation for these treasures-it's a beautiful way to honor your family's legacy. 💜🙏💜
I think an item given as a gift while still alive to a child will be loved because it was a gift. It costs too much to move a house full of things and the children must be mobile to follow the best jobs. They can’t be bogged done by possessions every time they must move.
Absolutely! Giving items as gifts while alive ensures a meaningful connection, and in today's mobile world, minimizing possessions makes sense for flexibility and practicality.
Thank you for this insightful video. Your explanation is clear and well considered and surely is helpful to many who find themselves with heirlooms to pass on to no one, and also those who feel an obligation to accept the heirlooms and then feel burdened under the weight of it all.
Thank you for your kind words and feedback on the video. I'm happy to hear that you found the explanation clear and helpful. It's definitely a common struggle for many people to navigate the emotional and practical aspects of passing on heirlooms. I'm grateful that the video was able to provide some guidance on this topic. If you have any further questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to reach out. Thank you again for watching and for your thoughtful response.
I am 72, my girls do not want my cherished belongings so I am getting ready to donate as much as possible to the thrift stores then have to decide how to get rid of what's left. A tag or yard sell is certainly on the agenda but that's a lot of work for little return. But I'm sure the landfill has lots of stuff Noone wants. It's a bit sad but a reality. Thanks.
Yes, don’t leave it to them. It’s a huge burden. My kids only want real estate and money 😂😂
It's understandable to feel a mix of emotions when parting with cherished belongings, but it's commendable that you're approaching this with practicality and grace. Donating to thrift stores and considering a tag or yard sale are great options to find new homes for your items. Remember, letting go can be liberating, and knowing that your belongings will bring joy to others can be a comforting thought. You're making space for new memories and experiences, and that's something to be celebrated.
My parent's stuff is THEIR story, THEIR memories, not mine. I'm gen x and by the time anybody left me anything, I had my own stuff, my own "precious" items. I don't need somebody else's belongings to stuff my home with. I've thrifted almost all of my belongings. I also dislike my parent's style. They love "new" but I like vintage.
I completely understand. I am a boomer and while my kids like some of my things, they certainly don't want much of it. I'm fine with that. When I am gone, they take the things they want and sell/donate the rest. I don't care. I will be dead and have no complaints.
You make a great point! Your parents' belongings are part of their story, and it’s important to create your own space with items that resonate with you. It's fantastic that you've found your style through thrifting and have built a home that reflects your own tastes. Thanks for sharing your perspective!
Thank you- super helpful!!
As a Gen x'er, I value the reasons for passing heirlooms down through the family. I also am huge on re-purposing items as much as possible. Why purchase a container or toil and throw away an empty container to hold some items when you have an empty container that was originally used for something else, but is just the right size and hjape for the items that you want to contain? Example: I have a beautiful wooden box from my grandparents that contains a beautiful letter opener. Before I was married, I keot it in my bedroom as decor. Now that I'm married, I discovered that it's just the right size to fit several charger cables, my JBL amplifier, and a wall charger. I kerp it on my kitchen table for easy access to my chargers and JBL when I want ylto listen to videos on my phone o tablet while I cook and clean. Tge letter opener is still there. It adds country charm t9 my table and kitchen and serves a practical purpose at the sae time. I don't have children, but I do want to iffer it to ither relatives someday, if tgey want it. understand that we often cannot realistically hold onto every heirloom passed down to us. One example is all of the seriously struggling hoarders whose houses are no longer functional because they just couldn't let go of all of the sentimental heirlooms, which leads to a domino affect of hoarding other things. As someone who struggles with clutter, but is not a full'l-blown hoarders, I'd rather have 1 or a few items hat are sturdy and useful and that will ladt for a few more decades, and that I actually need, that I can pass onto another family member when zi no longer want or need it, or I can give it to someone who needs it more than I do, so that it goes to a home that will mkje use of it instead of letting it sit and collect dust or mold or whatever.❤
Your approach to heirlooms beautifully blends sentimentality with practicality. Repurposing items not only preserves their value but also adds a personal touch to their use in your daily life. It's heartwarming to hear how your grandparents' wooden box has found a new purpose on your kitchen table, adding both charm and functionality. Your willingness to offer it to other relatives someday, if they desire it, reflects a thoughtful consideration of its significance within your family. Striking a balance between treasuring meaningful items and avoiding clutter is a wise approach that ensures these heirlooms continue to be appreciated and utilized for generations to come.
@ritawilkins yes. I do understand that at dome point, some items just may no longer fit in the homes of the family in which they originated. At that point, tgey should be given to someone who needs it and will appreciate it, even if they aren't family. And, I just thought, attaching a note to it with a little back story of the history if said item and what it meant to its prior owner and tgeur family, might still be a great way to pass tge historical family significance on for others to learn.
One thing that we are finding is that old bed frames that require both a mattress and box spring are no longer being used. They have been replaced by "bed in a box" type mattresses that expand to their full size when the packaging is opened. They are light, easy to carry, easy to move, do not require a box spring and go on a platform bed frame. We will be setting our old box frame and mattress out for the trash - you literally can not give those things away now.
Don't cut the envelope around your new mattress. I saw a video that said the inside of the cloth bag on the new mattress contains fiberglass. I saved the box springs so I can just sit on the bed. Good luck.
The box spring can be used as a plant trellis in some upcycler's garden.
It’s fascinating to see how changes in product design influence our home setup and disposal choices. The shift towards more convenient, space-saving options like bed-in-a-box mattresses reflects broader trends in efficiency and minimalism in modern living. It’s unfortunate when older items become hard to re-home, but recycling or donating components (like metal frames) might be an option if disposal is the only other alternative. Thank you for sharing your experience with this transition!
Thank you for talking about this subject. I am a boomer and have little interest or attachment to family belongings. There is just no room and I don't like the maintenance of the things I did keep. Out of numerous sets of china i kept one plate each and usable platters. Most of the furniture was very worn and just not my taste. The same with crystal entertainment sets, punch bowls etc. We just don't entertain like that. We haven't even gotten to my moms stuff although she has been unloading over the years.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes on your continued journey to declutter.
Me and my daughter were just talking about this. The thrift store is always full of crystal, China. Antique toys… people just aren’t keeping the clutter and dust collectors anymore.
Keep the conversation going.. it is possible that there are other people in your life that might use it. Consider donating it to donations sites that align with your values.
My kids do want my stuff! I have a 2000 BMW Z3, a Volvo XC60, a 210 Sea Ray boat, and about 60 gold coins. Older folks- have stuff people want, not dishes, dolls, and crap.
Who wouldn’t want cars and gold coins??? But who of us old folks have those things to offer? This discussion is more about memorabilia, things to bridge over the generations, this can’t be done by gold coins.
@@renatep.7566 A factory near me makes AnnaLee dolls, mouselike things, a waste of money. Every year for her birthday and for Christmas, I give my granddaughter 1 oz of gold and 1 oz of silver. That is my memorabilia. No bone china here, no Star Wars collectibles, no beany babies. If you don’t store junk, they won’t have to inherit it.
I understand, but I’m thinking more in the line of memories to connect the generations, that could be a diary with personal stories or family photos in an album. Gold and silver have no souls.
@@renatep.7566 I have about 12 albums of my kids growing up. No diaries. The stories are told at funerals. I thank my dead parents, mid 90’s for the inheritance I just received and plan to share with my kids. Some of it is going to a bank box for precious metals for my grandkids future. That’s love too.
That's fantastic! Having valuable and desirable items like your BMW, Volvo, boat, and gold coins certainly changes the game. It’s great that your kids appreciate these assets. Thanks for sharing your perspective on what makes for desirable heirlooms!
My two brothers agreed we would all meet Sunday morning at my mother's to clear and share. They came Saturday night, shoved EVERYTHING into a couple of trucks. Didn't even leave a can of ajax or a bottle of shampoo. I have zero photos of growing up even. Greed.
How awful! I have watched family grab things as quickly as possible after an aunt passed, despicable.
I'm so sorry to hear that. It must have been incredibly hurtful and frustrating to experience that kind of betrayal. Family dynamics can be challenging, especially during emotional times like these. I hope you find peace and perhaps some ways to create new memories that bring you joy. Thank you for sharing your story.
I was an only child, only grandchild on one side, and have an only child who says she doesn't intend to have children. I have a lot of sentimental stuff that belonged to several generations of family. I can get rid of some, but some things I can't bear to part with. I guess my daughter will just have to discard them when I'm gone.
I’m sure your daughter will not discard your things whenever that time comes. In the meantime, enjoy your beautiful things. I so enjoy setting a beautiful table and having lovely things around me. Have fun. 💕💕💕💕
It's understandable to feel a strong attachment to items that carry such deep family history. It's also perfectly okay to keep those you truly cherish. Perhaps consider documenting the stories behind these special items for your daughter, so she understands their significance. This might give her a different perspective or help her decide their future more thoughtfully. Your approach respects both your heritage and your daughter's choices, which is a thoughtful balance.
It's wonderful to hear how much joy your lovely things bring you, especially when setting a beautiful table. Enjoying our cherished possessions and creating beautiful spaces around us can indeed bring immense pleasure and comfort. Let's continue to celebrate and appreciate these moments.
@@ritawilkins Thank You, that sounds like a good idea.
My son doesn't even want me in his life... 😞
❤️🩹😢 … sending belated virtual hugs & love for Mother’s Day - You deserve! & I care! 🤗❤️🌹🐢
I'm really sorry to hear that. Family relationships can be so tough sometimes. Focus on what brings you joy and peace right now, and maybe with time, things can improve. Remember to take care of yourself-you're important too. 😞
To me, the interesting thing is that now, with the era of decent, cheap goods from China being OVER, and the increasing cost of everything, plus the unaffordability and unobtainability of quality-made goods.....I think the ageing Zs and young Alphas will once again value these things. Most moder made goods are just real crap, no lasting materials, no craftsmanship, high price. So hang onto them a bit longer!
You make an excellent point! As the cost of quality goods rises and the availability decreases, the value of well-crafted, older items is likely to grow. Future generations might indeed come to appreciate these durable and beautiful pieces more. Holding onto them could be a wise decision. Thanks for sharing this perspective!
Great video. My children want somethings, but not all. They say we do not have enough room for it, I think if you got rid of your IKEA junk you would have room. I have many family pieces and when I walk into my house it it liking walking past memories. Younger generations will have no memories.
And they won’t ever have vintage furniture that is still in excellent condition. That’s because they buy junk furniture that falls apart.
@@Meowch-vq2xq True and so very sad. My heirloom furniture is handmade. Will last forever.
I'm glad you enjoyed the video! It sounds like you have a strong connection to your family pieces, and they bring you a sense of nostalgia and comfort. While it's understandable that your children might not have the same attachment to these items, perhaps there's room for compromise or creative storage solutions. Ultimately, the memories and stories associated with these pieces are what truly make a house feel like a home, regardless of the size or style of furniture.
The stuff I have were my moms / grandmother’s .. and I know my kids don’t want them .. my daughter doesn’t like the style and my son well , he might use some .. even my jewelry, I don’t buy jewelry anymore because of it .
It’s tough when cherished family items don’t align with our kids' tastes. It’s great that you’re thinking about how your possessions will be used. Maybe consider finding new homes for these items where they’ll be appreciated, or repurposing them in a way that suits your style. Thank you for sharing your experience!
I am a boomer and was recently dismayed that my niece and nephew do not want letters written by my father and grandfather during WWII. How I would have cherished such documents written by my great grandfather and great great grandfather. They are just letters about the day-to-day stuff in life, but some of it made me weep.
It's disappointing when family history isn't valued as much as we'd hope. Those letters are precious windows into the past, offering insights into our ancestors' lives. Sharing your emotional response to them might help your niece and nephew understand their significance better.
@@ritawilkins I did share the emotions I felt. They don't care. They are too busy accumulating NEW things.
I am so very, very sorry for that! Is there a genealogical society by you who would LOVE these letters?
@@gypsynomad2020 I'm sending all the newspaper clippings to the Historical Society in my hometown. I'm keeping the letters in the hopes that by the time I pass the niece and nephew will want them.
Very well-said. Thank you!
You're welcome! If you have any more questions or need further assistance, feel free to ask. Happy decluttering! 😊
Minimalist will give way to maximalist. Well, that's what I believe.
That’s an interesting perspective! Trends do tend to come full circle, and it's possible we might see a shift from minimalism to maximalism. Both approaches have their own unique charm and appeal. Thanks for sharing your belief!
Just because you loved an item doesn't require anyone else to love it. Sure, it's disappointing if your kids don't want them, but you are not them. Not everyone likes the same things. No one ought be 'required' to want and accept someone else's things. It isn't a 'rebellion', it's choosing what you want in your home.
Exactly, personal preferences differ, and everyone has the right to choose what they want in their home. It's not about rejecting sentiment; it's about individual choice and respecting boundaries.
I have my grandmother’s dolls. They are worth some money, so I wouldn’t just get rid of them, but I really don’t want them. I’m conflicted.
Find a doll hospital, the people there will know collectors and might help you get them passed along. My sister in law sent seven old dolls for my daughter, but she was never interested. So after discussion, they went back to my sister in law because her town has a doll museum and they were pleased to take them. Now we can visit them, but don’t have to own them.
It's natural to feel conflicted about inherited items, even if they hold monetary value. Consider options like storing them safely, passing them on to family, or selling them to someone who will appreciate them more. Finding a solution that respects both their history and your feelings is key.
Thank you mam for this video which showed up in my feed this morning. I have been going through my mother’s things for several years now and your explanations of different generations viewpoints has been quite helpful. Thank you again.
You’re very welcome! I’m glad the video was helpful for you. Going through a loved one’s belongings can be a challenging process, and understanding different generational viewpoints can make it a bit easier. Thank you for sharing your experience, and I wish you all the best as you continue this journey.
One big factor is that most Generation X and younger generations can no longer afford the larger homes that the Baby Boomer
generation acquired while raising their (larger than Gen. X's) families. The cost of real estate has soared, as has the price of
construction and renovations,
A large separate dining room, with a complete suite of furniture is no longer the norm for most Gen X and younger who purchase
homes. (Even if the house has a dining room, if there is room to eat in the kitchen, most will choose to turn that dining room into
a TV room or a den, or a home office.)
It's true that housing trends have shifted dramatically for younger generations. Rising real estate costs have made larger homes less attainable. Many Gen Xers and younger individuals prioritize more versatile spaces over traditional dining rooms, often repurposing them for modern living needs like home offices or entertainment areas.
Let me tell u something. My dad died in his queen sized bed. His hand print was on the head board so I went to the paint store bought the color "I " wanted over his cherry wooden set .it's mine now and I don't have to look at the hand print .I appreciated his bed but it also meant I had to get rid of my twin bed I got no space ...a lot if things got dumped
It sounds like you made a difficult but necessary decision to reclaim a space that felt truly yours while honoring your father's memory in your own way. Letting go of certain belongings can be challenging, but creating a space that reflects your preferences and comforts is important for your well-being. Your actions demonstrate strength and self-care amidst the emotional process of sorting through belongings.
I don't want anything unless its good like a Kitchen Aide Mixer. One of the old ones that last.
That’s a practical approach! It makes sense to only keep items that are high-quality and useful, like a sturdy KitchenAid mixer. Those timeless, durable pieces are definitely worth holding onto. Thanks for sharing!
I never wanted my parents' belongings because my childhood was traumatic. Why would I want all those reminders around?
I'm really sorry to hear about your difficult childhood. It's completely understandable why you wouldn't want those reminders around. Creating a space that feels safe and positive for you is what's most important. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Thank you for the excellent post. I have a terracotta copy of a Michelangelo madonna and child from my great grandmother, so my family has been collecting for multiple generations. My husband has a similar experience. We have only one child and after she started to set up house in her late twenties we started giving her pieces that we still liked and used, but decided to pass them on while she still had room, as opposed to after her home was fully furnished. Antique Nomad recommends having tea or special meals with the grandkids and using the fine china to create positive memories. (Not sure what I will do with the statue? 🙂)
Thank you for sharing your story! It’s wonderful that you’re passing on cherished pieces to your daughter while she still has space to enjoy them. Creating positive memories with family heirlooms, like having tea or special meals with the grandkids using fine china, is a lovely idea. As for the statue, maybe displaying it in a special place where it can be appreciated daily would be a good option. 😊
The fact is that the younger generation simply don’t value family heritage. It is a cultural shift. It involves a lack of respect for elders. They value their digital and electronic devices and moral values have declined. They love their social media and don’t value human relationships. The family unit has taken a big hit. These are all negative and detrimental. They may not like physical clutter but they clutter their minds. Family heirlooms passed down should be valued and those who do so have family values.
I don't think that is true at all. The younger generation values memories and experiences with their older family members over a bunch of old, fragile china that they'll probably never use.
@@goofygirl1311 that “old fragile china” as you call it is a link to the past and represents precious memories. You made my point. I don’t mean to broadbrush as I know there are younger generations who value family history. Like my granddaughter who was thrilled to get some family heirlooms. I included information about each family member represented. We live in a throw away microwave culture that generally doesn’t value heritage
@@user-jm2tc3uq5l We have to remember that our own memories are not our children's memories. If your granddaughter has warm memories of many holiday dinners using that china then I can see why she would want to keep it.
@@goofygirl1311 I didn’t have china. There was a variety of items. One was a lace tablecloth handmade by her great great grandmother. It has much meaning to her.
@@user-jm2tc3uq5l I've kept some special items like that from both sides of our family. But, obviously, not everything that we own is a precious family heirloom. So decluttering the extraneous stuff while being selective as to what we do keep is a good thing.
Moved. Can’t find the motivation to empty boxes. No one cares I don’t either. Guess “stuff” is outdated. Probably a good thing.
I'm preparing to move and getting rid of so much stuff before it happens. It was hard at first, but not now.
@@diana6842 thanks Diana my sister was a Diana. Is wish you the best. Guess my stuff was valued when it went with my life story. No longer does. Oh well.. boxes are tidy.
Moving can be overwhelming, and it’s understandable to feel unmotivated to unpack. It’s okay if “stuff” feels less important right now-sometimes letting go can be freeing. Take your time, and focus on what truly matters to you. Thanks for sharing your experience!
I am 67 years old and I have to start decluttering neither of my children want this stuff and I don't blame them, All that's important to me is that I find somebody who does appreciate it and who does want it. I'm not a control freak like some people I know People who love it will enjoy it makes me happy no matter who they are As long as you As long as you ask your children 1st and if you have your children After that skies the limit, We can't take it with us when we leave this earth
Thanks for sharing and you have such a positive outlook because you are right, someone somewhere someone will appreciate your stuff.
You don’t borrow things,,,, that’s not self sufficiency.
Absolutely! Self-sufficiency includes relying on what you have and making the most of your resources. Borrowing can sometimes be necessary, but it's empowering to cultivate independence. Thanks for highlighting this aspect!
"The world tells you WHAT you are. Your family history tells you WHO you are." Heirlooms that have been passed down for generations tell a story. These poor younger souls are already living in a world that causes them to search for meaning and identity. It is imperative that the older generation teaches that. It's not all about me, me, me. Me, me, me wouldn't be here if it weren't for those who struggled and came before. They need to grow up, show some reverence and learn to be curators of their family history for future generations. We all learned to do it. It's their turn!
You hold a a me, me, me perspective by expecting someone else to value the same things you value. Not everyone cares about family historical possessions (or even having possessions in general). Not everyone is curious about their family tree or history. It's not up to anyone to 'learn' to accept what you may consider a family heirloom. It's up each individual to accpet things they want in their homes. And no, I am not a kid. I am 65. My parents never expected me or my sisters to keep their stuff. They left it up to us to take the things that MEANT something to US.
Totally agree. Tastes are different and some people are minimalists. Just because it was passed down does not mean you want it or have room for it. Less is more
Exploring our family history is like discovering a treasure trove of stories and traditions that enrich our lives. By passing down heirlooms and tales, we empower younger generations to embrace their roots with pride and reverence. It's an opportunity to celebrate the resilience and wisdom of those who came before us, inspiring us to continue their legacy with joy and gratitude.
Kids now are spoiled. They are use to buying every single thing they want and just do not respect parents any longer. There is much less attachment to family. Sad to see actually.
It's natural to worry about changing values, but it's also important to recognize that each generation adapts to its own circumstances. Indeed, every generation brings its own strengths and values. Despite differences, there's always room for mutual respect and understanding between generations.
I think im selling the lalique Lladros and Baccarat. Along with paintings and bronzes. This way the value is appreciated and the beauty. The money I will put in bank or invest.
That sounds like a wise plan! Selling your stuff to others who want it ensures that their value and beauty are appreciated by new owners
@@ritawilkins So true. My kid would probably let their kids destroy it. Granddaughter just today threw something and broke the second big screen TV in her room in 2.5 months and broke a door off the wardrobe of her brother's. 8 year old twins. Out of control. Lol.
My daughter has already informed me that she plans on selling my things on eBay🤷🏻♀️.
Ditto, I’m getting in first and selling things myself.!
At least you both are having the conversation! As she matures, her tastes and appreciation for these items might change. It's great to keep the dialogue open and flexible. Thanks for sharing!
@@ritawilkins very true!
My kids are grown and could care less about me, who nurtured them their whole lives. I gave my daughter all my mom's China. But.... I now gave my cherished old antique mantel clock to a women I don't know in France. Saw her video and saw she loved clocks. Thus why I sent it to her from America. Along with a bunch of other cherished items. My grown kids are very selfish and uncaring. They don't even want my ashes when I'm cremated. So will be washed down the crematorium drain. Spoil them and then they turn on you.
I'm really sorry to hear about your experience with your kids. It’s heartbreaking when our efforts and love don’t get the appreciation they deserve. It’s wonderful, though, that you found someone who truly appreciates your antique mantel clock. Sometimes, sharing cherished items with those who value them can bring a sense of fulfillment. Thank you for sharing your story and for your generosity in finding a good home for your cherished items.
Disagree. The kids have been brainwashed by minimalist tic tok videos etc. Offer the things to your grandchildren. They will have little money and will need your things.
Yes, bit also allow them to decide if they want it, need it, or if tye want to pass it on to another family member. I think houses and land that are set up as family estates should be protected more than any ither heirloom, even if it gets passed over by each family member that it's passed down to. Too many people of this generation sell the lands and homes that were meant to be kept in the family. Family estates are meant to make sure families never have to worry about not having a roof over their heads.
It's a valid point to consider generational perspectives on ownership and the value of heirlooms. Offering these items to grandchildren can indeed be a practical solution, as they may appreciate and need them. It's important to have open conversations with family members about their needs and interests to ensure that these cherished items find a home where they will be valued and utilized. Thank you for sharing your viewpoint!
Absolutely, giving family members the freedom to choose what they keep, pass on, or decline is crucial in respecting individual needs and values. The point you raise about family estates is particularly important. Preserving such assets can provide security and continuity for generations. It's essential to foster discussions within the family about the significance of these properties and the intention behind keeping them within the family. Thanks for highlighting the importance of safeguarding these types of heirlooms!
They don’t want our stuff or the burden of us being around either. Look how many older adults are estranged from their children.
Oh my....it's not always the kids' fault. I am estranged from my parents and it's totally on them because I don't fit what they thought I should do, be and, unfortunately, what politics I should have.
It's really tough to see how many older adults are estranged from their children. The distance can be painful, both emotionally and physically. It's important to find ways to create a support system and focus on relationships that bring positivity and comfort.
When you were young, did you want your grandparents out of style stuff? Didn't think so....
i sure did !!
For me, one of the most difficult items to declutter was my mother’s collection of tea cups… She had many! We often sat, had tea, and had wonderful conversations.
But realizing I couldn’t keep all of them, I chose to keep just three of my favorites and distributed the others to my sisters and brothers.
You want the money and property , deal with the 3, generations of the stuff in the house!!
That’s a fair point! Inheriting money and property often comes with the responsibility of dealing with generations of belongings. It’s important to recognize the effort and care that goes into managing those items. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I was curious about the influence of the 2030 Agenda on many people today. Looks like it's alive and well along with sustainable. 😅
The 2030 Agenda definitely has a big impact, especially with its focus on sustainability. It's encouraging to see so many people and communities embracing these goals. Sustainable living is becoming more popular, and it's great to be part of a movement that's making a positive difference. Thanks for pointing this out! 😅
Im glad ur stuff made u happy but ur stuff doesnt make me happy. Its suffocating to me. So be thankful, be happy that it meant something to u. Try not to be hurt that it holds no value to me. We arent rejecting u, we r rejecting the clutter & overwhelm.
Doesn't bother me, I didn't want anything of my mothers stuff in 93, Im now 80. Stuff is useless if you can't use it
It’s great that you know what works for you. If something isn’t useful, it makes sense not to hold onto it. At the end of the day, our possessions should serve our needs and bring us joy. Thanks for sharing your perspective!
I'm a baby boomer, but i never valued the china, glass, and silver so important to my Mom and her generation. I have kept a few pieces and 1 had trouble finding anyone interested in taking the rest, even for free. 'I agree with you also that minimalism is the standard now. An additional important point- i never enjoyed the formal, seated dinners. They were boring and something to get through. Not fun. And it's gotten worse, as manners are out. People,are rude and a seated formal dinner seems like a teap in which we get targeted with insults and crude, rude, and drunken behavior. Think Trump, and his supporters. Never again.
UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE!! Why the hell are you blaming freaking Trump? Are you seriously saying Trump is responsible for all the crap you just stated? This began long ago, mate! TDS MUCH? This has ZERO to do with Trump and you know it! People behave the way they do because they’ve been told they are special little snowflakes, never been told no, never told to respect their elders and told laws don’t apply to them! Good grief! You’ve got it all twisted and blaming a man whom you do not even know is very telling!
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's interesting to see how personal experiences and societal changes influence our attachment to traditional items and customs. Embracing minimalism and moving away from formalities that don't bring joy is a reflection of changing lifestyles and values. It's important to create environments where we feel comfortable and happy. Finding your own way to balance tradition with personal preference is key to enjoying your space and gatherings.