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SO MUCH to say about this ! Psychotherapist REACTS to Ren Su!clde
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- čas přidán 18. 08. 2024
- This is my ORIGINAL Ren Su!clde Reaction. This is a re-upload, with a couple of minor edits, as I had some problems with the first one regarding copyright and restrictions so I apologise if you have been notified and you have already watched it.
If you had only watched my unrestricted second version then this one is well worth a watch!
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🙎🏻♂️ WHO AM I?
I am a BABCP accredited cognitive and behavioural psychotherapist living in the south of England. I specialise in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and predominantly work with people who have experienced trauma to help them move forward with their lives. Its a job I absolutely love and connects with my own values and purpose.
Video Chapters.
0:00 Coming up...
0:30 Introduction
1:07 Reaction Starts
2:15 Accessible, sadistic discussion
4:48 Track resumes
6:13 The world is sick!
7:41 Human to human connections
8:24 Second part of track
11:41 My Reaction to end part
12:52 Don't know how to live
13:43 Risk assessments DON'T work
14:41 Where do you hurt? How can I help?
17:20 Upcoming Video series
The youths you support in your line of work are so fortunate to have you.
Thanks for the kind words and taking the time to write them and comment TheLauradela
One good turn deserve another. I think in this world it is important to express appreciation where its felt. I am looking forward to your next set of videos.
Suicide is such a hard conversation for most people. 2 of my brothers committed suicide, my parents were suicidal and a few more of my siblings and myself dealt with suicidal ideation our entire lives. Abuse, Domestic Violence, mental health issues, psychological issues, drug addiction, were our daily routine. I'm thankful for Ren sharing with the world what has been so taboo to talk about. I started speaking publicly, writing books and donating the proceeds to try and make a difference. Thank you Ren for trying to make a difference 😢💔
Thanks for sharing. Can I ask if I can use this comment in an upcoming video, and if I can are you okay with your screen name being shown (if not I can blank it out). It’ll just be a screen shot, I won’t purposely draw attention to your name. Thanks.
@@TherapistReactsOfficial yes, feel free to share . I appreciate you and I know so many hurting people are being really "seen" and helped by your passion to care about people, each individual. I am very thankful for you ❤
It took me a bit to realize that this is a GIFT of perspective.
There are many who are so lost in the depths of despair. That they can't see a hand, friend or those around that love them.
This was an intensely personal glimpse into the pain that a loss such as this creates.
Yeah, it hurt.
It was supposed to.
But if it helps just ONE person take a moment to think about how their loss WOULD affect those around them.
It was well WORTH the pain.
Thank you Ren, for sharing and making THESE conversations possible.
Thank you Stuart, for HAVING the conversation.
May your path be filled with hope, joy and love.
Thanks Dawn, beautiful words.
You just summed up what I feel perfectly. " I don't want to die, I just don't know how to live"
I watched one of Ren's interviews about his friend Joe. From what I understood is that Joe had called one of their friends saying he was on the bridge. She contacted Ren Right away and it took him 5 mins to get to the bridge and it was too late. Also, Joe went to put himself in a mental institution and they turned him away because he didn't have an appointment. That was @ weeks before he jumped off of the bridge.
I've watched this video MANY times, I lost my baby brother to su*c!de in April of 2020. What I hadn't noticed before this reaction, was that the first half looks at the issue from those suffering from the thoughts. The second half shows an important side many don't think about when in the moment of ideation... which is how those left behind feel. This was a very gentle way of reacting, and I really appreciated all the views you had around it. Many views I hadn't thought of before. One thing I think a lot of people miss that stands out to me is the line "falling through the cracks of the night sky" which when I first heard it made me realize that when I have the darkest, saddest thoughts is at night... when those who can help aren't available or I feel bad calling on them. Falling through the cracks to me seems like a way to sum up feeling neglected, misunderstood, or people aren't taking your pain seriously. Anyway, thank you for this, I always love your reactions, keep them coming! We need more people comfortable talking about the hard things.
My god. THANK YOU, SIR. Thank you for knowing there is a saying so & UNDERSTANDING the very VERY DISTINCT DIFFERENCE between wanting to die and NOT WANTING to live. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. Or they don't believe there's a distinction. But there is, it's HUGE, and one is much more easily surmounted if it is discovered AND TREATED for what it actually means. I wish I could find a therapist with your insight.
Pairing the chorus with repeating "never felt like the right time" bouncing through the song.
In my mind when the catchy chorus becomes an earworm it brings along "never felt like the right time".
Ren showed this to Joe's parents before releasing it. They wept together and drew closer. The song Freckled Angels Ren wrote and performed at Joe's funeral/memorial.
Loving this rework. The censors can’t object to this, surely! What you say about “Not knowing how to live rather than truly wanting to die” is about right I agree with you on that. Like I’ve said to you before Risk Management assessments don’t deal with issues. The problem is that sometimes people can’t tell mental health professionals or just other individuals (friends/family) where they hurt because they are so numb, so fragile and afraid to let people in. This is also in part because when a person is depressed or vulnerable and expresses they want to end things, the minute they do, they become a ‘problem to be solved’ and not just someone to be helped and assisted to heal. I love that you are making this new series, Stuart. I look forward to following along and learning from the information you are going to provide.
Thanks so much Beth
Yes, exactly. I never wanted to become someone’s burden, even if those close to you don’t intend for you to feel that way, that is how I felt.
🙏🐷
Thank you for your concern.
Thanks for watching
The incredible fate of a girl found with a broken collarbone at a bus stop and ended up in an orphanage.
Immerse yourself in the world of unearthly voice.
I recommend making a reaction to one of the best vocalists in the world.
Meet Diana Ankudinova!
1) super unique voice (dramatic contralto with polyphonic overtones);
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3) Diana sings in 6 languages : English, French, Russian, German, Spanish, Arabic and any musical genre;
4) incredible charisma, artistry and living of any song;
5) a range of 4 octaves, which at the age of 19 is far from the limit and will continue to grow;
6) a large army of fans around the world;
7) an independent artist, without producers and labels, only with the support of fans and reactors like you;
8) more than 16 thousand reactions. Some reactions have 3.7 million views.
One of the most famous hits of the king of rock 'n' roll in an unrivaled gorgeous, phenomenal performance by Diana Ankudinova ( 18 y.o.)
Can’t Help Falling in Love (Elvis Presley / DARK VERSION cover)
VERY IMORTANT, the video must be original (duration - 8.56m) from Diana's channel, NOT a short pirated copy from "brocoli".
9.6 million views
239k likes
- total 1133 reactions to this performance by Diana.
ATTENTION:
1) Please use ONLY original content from Diana Ankudinova official channel.
2) Videos from TV shows are often blocked by CZcams and video EDITING is required. MV, live performances are available for unlimited reactions WITHOUT EDITING
Fan community supporting Diana Ankudinova: #dianamania
Stuart,
I too am a psychotherapist and commend you for your recorded reaction and keeping it together.
I am grateful to be alone and feeling/allowing/welcoming my emotions overwhelming the moment. I have so many memories of clients who were on that edge or who were left when the loved one just couldn’t stay.
Ren is truly a genius and so courageous and vulnerable. May all who hear/see him who feel this pain find their way to people like us. We are here. We love you. We can help.
Thank you Stuart for your plan to help.
🙏🏽Becca
Thank you fellow psychotherapist! I have another Ren track being uploaded shortly which hit me even harder then this one !
I get the side eye from my managers at work if I ever mention this word. I only ever talk on my experiences, how I felt at those times and how keeping things inside just allowed that poison to work slowly from the inside. They just see the word as a trigger and see, to feel it unsafe rather than actually thinking about the content of the conversation. We do need to talk on this subject so much more.
Absolutely people talk around it... Ren is getting people to open themselves up and being able to release their own trauma, doubts, and in some instances, personal hopelessness.. His 2nd part of this video tends to reach those feeling hopelessness to realize taking that final movement over the abyss creates so much hurt for those around them. This I know. Thank you Ren.
Stuart you rock. Please don't stop doing your reactions with your informed and helpful comments.
Thanks for the support
REN’s new song- for Joe is a continuation from this song and is a must for you to listen too.
I’ve already reacted to it. Check it out my channel - people seemed to like what I had to say about grief. Thanks for taking the time comment and watching.
I appreciate this...
Thanks for taking the time to let me know, I really do appreciate all the support and comments
@@TherapistReactsOfficial i know it was difficult to deal with youtube. Your commentary is worth hearing so I'm pleased you managed to accomplish this.
It sucks that you had to rework this because of the censors, but I'm so glad its back up. This is valuable material.
Thanks Beth
Thank you for working around the censorship
One of the hardest things is Ren mentions Joe tried to check in to a mental health facility (a week or two) before he died. He was turned away for not having an appointment. He also made a comment about walking into the water... but it was an offhand comment and then laughed off days before anything happened. With hindsight there were signs... which only adds to Ren's guilt. Joe died just before Ren got sick, really, really sick. There's a video he posted from that time and you can tell he's struggling, he thinks he's going to die and he's losing hope. When you watch that, and you hear these words it's hard not to tie Ren's survival to Joe. Ren knew what the loss felt like, so he kept fighting even though he was in so much pain. Ren fought for years before things turned around. I really think Joe saved Ren and together they make amazing music.
My childhood best friend tried to go to the ER in the small town I live in and they were looked at and sent home. She unfortunately ended her life that night. I've been in a similar place and went to the same ER, my experience had me feeling worse and even more helpless than did before going. I always make sure to tell any Dr. that i am seeing that i am a recovering addict, and a lot of the times after you tell a nurse or a doc that (at least in area im from) they treat you like garbage, and like your some dirt on their shoes...They didn't keep me on any soft of hold, and they didn't make sure that i had someone who could stay with me after i went home. Its so frustrating because it is SO DIFFICULT to make that step and ask for help, so when you finally do and you're just completely disregarded by healthcare officials.... Well at that point you really do feel like there is no hope..
As someone that has ANXIETY which kind of goes along with suicidal thoughts. The issue is when you attempt to talk about it people either brush you off, change the subject or just don't want to even acknowledge what you are saying. We already feel this world would be better without us, the dismissal of our feelings kind of enhances that feeling. People can only handle it now because Ren has cleverly put in a way that people can dance to a beat but still absorb the words.
Stu, Joe was a friend of Ren from the age of 8, he was more like a brother. Joe was a clown who would do anything to make others laugh but could not hold dowm a personal relationship. He tried to get help but didn't have an appointment so they turned him away. This happened right after Christmas, 13 years ago. Ren finsished the last part of this with a new song youy will find, FOR JOE.
I think when the people's eyes change to that red color it's referencing the people who are having those thoughts... Sad. I lost my brother in law at only 24yrs old to su!cide as well as my father a few years ago. The pain never goes away 💔
Thanks for sharing
Thank you for your reaction and message!❤
His friend told him 2 days before Christmas that he was depressed ……
Thank you. Just wanted to support this chanel. Support having your voice on this medium.
Thanks, the support is much appreciated.
Ren THANKYOU for bringing Suicide to the table because it really needs to be talked about 😢THANKYOU for your reaction 😢😢🙏🙏🇬🇧🇺🇸
I have watched this version twice and the edited version once, I certainly agree this needs to be talked about more openly. Only by talking about it is going to normalise talking about anything to do with mental health especially in younger people, as they get older, and more generations are all talking this can only help the wider issues in society. Thank you for caring and bringing up these issues.
I agree, which is why I became quite persistent in getting it out there. Thanks so much for your patience and for watching them.
This is the dark, the empty cup, the bitter emotions of loss, emptiness, self blame, empathy for the Lai both Ren himself and others go through. For the light react and analyze ‘For Joe’ which acknowledges sadness in this case loss of dear friend and blend in inspiration.
The ending is so very raw! I have heard it so many times and I always cry. Would that this song had been available at a time I was experiencing sui@dal ideation (caused by medication changes) The song that I had at that time, for helping me work through was “Sweet Old World” by Lucinda Williams. You might give it a listen sometime. ❤
Not come across that track, I’ll check it out. Thanks for sharing.
"Sweet Old World" by Lucinda Williams is definitely a good one to consider reacting to.
Very emotional song. Much respect to Ren to share this.
Ren received a phone call from a friend saying there is something wrong with Joe. He immediately started running and calling him. He was 5 minutes from the bridge when the phone went dead. I cannot imagine the pain he went through.
Me neither, the stuff going through his mind must be so painful.
Before I begin I'd like to say though I still love your original reaction to this song this one is so much more in-depth and it's a breath of fresh air. I like this approach you are now taking because you seem less timid on the topic (because of CZcams) and that's exactly what we need. Even people who don't live with this I think it will help them understand it better and that's a step in a great direction. Understanding. Thank you.
This song was hard because I did lose my best friend 31 years ago and still live with all the "what ifs". Logically I know there was no way of stopping it, I'd intervened several times before, but I didn't understand back then that there would come a day I wouldn't be there to do so. I was angry with him for a very long time because he intentionally sent me off to run some errands knowing I wouldn't return in time to stop him. No need to point out the obvious; that this song and For Joe hit my heart like a ton of bricks. And though they both brought a lot of pain to the surface those songs helped me heal more in this short amount of time than the last 31 years put together.
As for me I do have Bipolar Disorder but it's a difficult one to manage since I also have mixed states and rapid cycling to deal with. From what I understand it's rare to find someone who has both of those. I do take medication for it and have a great therapist, but I did seem to inherit this from my biological father. All of my half-siblings through him have some form of mental illness of varying degrees.
What you mentioned about "in the words of the suicidal person" I've found a way to describe it for people to easily understand: it's like driving a car (my body) and I'm behind the wheel (my psyche, the part that is ME) then as I'm driving I've suddenly been carjacked (my illness) and I'm tied up in the backseat unable to take control of the wheel. I'm watching and bargaining as this part of me I don't associate as ME is wanting to wreck the car. I've also found using the analogy of possession works for some people of feeling still very aware of the myself and surroundings but having no power to stop what is happening. It's a battle of will in those moments when I'm literally not in control of the situation or myself. I don't want to die, but my body is doing something against my will. I have to fight for control with every ounce of energy I have.
I think that's why the first song of Ren's I watched hooked me. It was "Hi Ren" and I related the darker Ren to many things inside myself; the carjacker, low self-esteem, anxiety, imposter syndrome and my disease.
For more background on Joe, who this song is about, he was one of Rens long time friends in his friend group, and he was the jokester of the group. No one suspected he was that close to the edge. He had made a half-joke once at a pub one night that sometimes he just wants to walk into the ocean until it took him. A few weeks later Joe called one of their mutual friends from a bridge that was 5 minutes from Rens place. She called Ren, and he ran as fast as he could but was too late. They never found Joe's body.
Super reaction!! Once again, thanks for translating the mumbo-jumbo language of all this into common street English so even us dummies can understand. This viejo has been around a while and it’s a rough world getting tougher and tougher to survive anymore what with everything from violence to censorship if this one or that just doesn’t like the word one uses. I can’t wait to see you 8 vids you were talking about.
I wanted to request a reaction too, it’s Bonnie Rait- “just like that”
Thanks for the comment and the recommendation, I’ll check it out
my 10 year old son said to me i am having nightmares because im depressed... (i put it down to my brain being fecked due to seizures cos i have epilepsy, adhd and apparently bpd) i always said id never lie to him (we made a deal when he moved out we would never lie to each other about anything) then he asked me if id kill myself.. i said no and he came over and hugged me. i had to leave the room and cry.
You are one of the few therapists ive heard speak with sympathy and empathy.
Honestly i wouldnt turn towards family or friends with my problems id turn to a complete stranger if they appeared to be unjudgmental as a person. But I dont like turning to my mother she is not empathetic or sympathetic. She gets weirded out and just wants to do whatever needs done to stop talking about it and stop me expressing emotions to her. Shes very logical and doesnt seem to understand emotions aside from content and angry or confused and intrigued....
The effect is called Stable diffusen. Its kind of an AI's imagination or dreaming.
"For Joe" is beautiful and well worth a listen as well. Your good intentions shine through, Stuart.
I have a video already about that, people commented they liked my discussion around the stages of grief
If your series helps just one person it HAS changed the world. And I'm pretty sure it has, or this preface series has, already. You're one of the primary Ren promoters on CZcams, on of the OG, as it were. Your perspective and analysis of Ren's work and your heartfelt conversations with the audience make a difference. Thanks.
I’m still ugly crying and it’s the tenth time I’ve seen it
Still gets me every time too!
So glad I got an opportunity to see this as I as late last time and it got taken down. Your professional and emotional insight into this song is really raw and spills truth. There is lessons to be learnt in your words and Rens and a realisation for many others about the world around them and how it relates to themselves and their mindset. Thanks for reposting this Stuart, outstanding reaction to a more than outstanding song
When I spoke to my doctor about suicidal ideation. I was truthful to a point as soon as they asked about "do I have a plan" I lied. I have had plans before. I had a plan at that time. I was so afraid of being locked up in some ward that it leashed my mouth.
I'd really like to see your reactions to Pocket Full of Pain, Everybody Drops, and Dominoes. Some really hard hitting bits of his older catalogue.
I’ll check them out thanks
One of the biggest problems with "risk" being a metric within mental health services is that once a person crosses a threshold of perceived risk they then can potentially end up with their agency being removed from them and being forcefully institutionalised, which is a terrifying prospect. The threats of agency removal and imprisonment hang over the heads of mentally unwell people whenever they interact with healthcare professionals which makes having a truly trust based relationship between professional and patient completely impossible.
thank you💜
I watched your original release, came by to watch again in support! I hope this version doesn’t face the same ridiculous scrutiny! Really enjoy your insights😊
Once again, thank you for having these conversations - I watched the original video before it was pulled.
Ren’s work opens the doors to discussions that people would, ordinarily, shy away from - suicide, grief, mental health, chronic illness.
The community of fans and reactors building around Ren are providing more people with a space to feel they can open up about this without judgement but, you’re right, we do need to get better at this.
Looking forward to seeing the channel developments.
Thank you again Stuart.
Watched this the first time it released. Commenting for the algorithm. Love your reactions.
Much appreciated candidwings
Thanks for another really thoughtful reaction. The video is brilliant at capturing the mood and the ending he added on later is heartbreaking. I liked your interpretation of 'some say sadistic', I think it could also relate to the view that some people hold about suicide being a selfish act. I really like his direct use of the word 'suicide' repeatedly because of the clarity and focus it brings. As you said, there's lots of well meaning stuff on social media about 'you're not alone', 'you are loved' etc. and I hope it does encourage meaningful and helpful dialogue, but like you said it is incredibly hard to instigate such a conversation if you are having suicidal thoughts.
Thanks for sharing - completely agree with everything!
Thank you for breaking down the lyrics in the beginning of the song helped to clarify a bit 🤔Great Reaction! 💗
No problem! Thanks for watching !
So happy you reposted. ❤Love your insights.
The last lines of the song always have me crying and breaking down😢
Listening to this while getting ready to work, applying make-up - now I can start all over again
People can seem so trapped sometimes ,they can have the love and support of many but their belief that love is conditional and that they can't change in the ways they need ,to express their true selves ,without jeopardising that love and approval , that can seem like a life sentence with no way out . Its a pressure often felt in small towns, where the whole town seem to have an understanding of who you are that is different from who you become .Its a strange displacement in the world that appears to narrow our options . It dosent just happen in towns it happens in family's and friend groups . Some people are so stuck in an image that only expresses their surface level but can't break that shallow self image because the needs of the true person are darker more nuanced than anyone would guess and can't be expressed without breaking their whole world . Not having options to change will make the option to not be anymore seem more reasonable. We need to teach kids that sometimes we have to emotionally break eggs to make omelettes of our selves. We sometimes need to seem the " the bad guy "for our own self preservation .
Love this, thanks for sharing Amanda
Sometimes people hurt over and over again, so much that their whole psyche is covered in scars. At which point it is hard to say where it hurts or know how people can help you.
Well done.❤
"Where do you hurt and how can I help you?" Yes. Such a good place to start. Answers such as.."I can't take a deep breath, I can't expand my chest, I can't swallow. My muscles ache from the tension I have been holding in my body for so long and I feel paralyzed." And then, just maybe starting with baby steps to work on that. Learning to navigate your way out of that quick sand and teaching yourself that you can do it and you can repeat it. Giving yourself time to burn off the chemicals your body may have dumped into you in a stressful moment. Acknowledging that these chemicals are creating the physical sensations. Finding tools that can bring you back up when you are drowning can ease that constant feeling of dread. There is so much relief in knowing you have the power to regain control of your body and work your way back up the emotional scale. There is so much power in knowing that it might take a bit of time but with focus and discipline you can do it. And the more you practice the less time it will take to pivot when you realize you are heading down that road again. We should all have a tool chest full of things we can call upon to pull ourselves out of the quicksand. And we need to share them with each other and talk about it. Thank you Stuart.
I think what is so difficult for so many about having these difficult conversations is that they are difficult, they are painful, they are unpleasesnt. They are bad vibes, and people don't want to feel bad they want to feel good, so they chase the good and run from the bad. I think for real social progress to be made we need to encourage people to be more willing to sit with all their emotions, both the good and especially the bad, to feel them and let them be felt, to accept that sometimes its not only ok but good to feel bad. Some more education in general on pyshology and perhaps more vocab for describing and communicating emotions would be good too.
Good reactions, I appraicte all that you said at then end, lets hope the world moves forward with better and better understanding of mental health, but that will only happen if we educate people correctly, we need to learn how to teach this stuff, not just learn the stuff itself.
When you talk about risk assessment I understand exactly where you are coming from in that it does not work. When I was younger I was told by a psychiatrist that I would not live into my 30's that I was such a huge risk to myself that I would not make it. I am 43 now. I also am healed and learning how to help others heal. I will never put a person in the position I was in that day, I felt like what was the point in me trying to get better if I was only going to die. However, when I was 25 years old I realized if I put into my therapy sessions what I want to get out of them I can get better. I am a much different person now, with tons of compassion and empathy for others. I just want to use what I learned from life and what I am learning in school to guide people in the direction of their own healing. Everyone deserves to be heard. Sometimes that is all that a person needs sometimes more. I just know now that I was misinformed as a young adult and that changed how my life turned out good and bad.
I think more time is needed before these conversations become more accepted. I think there are generations that were taught entirely different lessons, and those generations will likely need to disappear before the change can really occur. Our society historically has not been good at seeing others as actual people.
I'm a site supervisor for a security company. I have one officer that wants every Wednesday off. I've never called him to work a Wednesday, I'll cover those hours first. When my officers request time off, I never ask them for a reason. Maybe they need a mental health day, maybe they want to go to a concert, it shouldn't matter. If I ask and they tell me, it puts me in a position to decide whether their reason is worthy of the time off, which is frankly disgusting to me. It's an old mindset that's still incredibly common, based on seeing employees as commodities rather than people, instead of seeing them as both assets, and people.
Really loved your passion in this one. Another great reaction on a very important topic. Also loving your other series (check it out folks, it's really good and helpful).
Thanks so much. Have you requested a reaction from me ? I can’t remember but if you I’ll get it done. Or hit me up in the discord channel as I’m sure to see that if you tag me in there.
@@TherapistReactsOfficial I mentioned "Boulevard of broken dreams" by Greenday being pretty much my life anthem but it's old, and fairly self explanatory. Any other song I can come up with would be flagged hard by the Tubes, or would be a completely unappealing genre for most. If I think of anything I'll let you know though. Just happy to be here, and be supportive.
Well done Stuart on the reupload, watched all way thru to help get those views up!! Look forward to your series you mentioned at the end
Amazing! Thanks so much, I really do appreciate it
You have to do his new song For Joe. It's beautiful. Also Humble Ft Eden Nash is an upbeat happier song as a palate cleanser.
Already done ! On my channel, check it out! Thanks for the other recommendation
Fascinating... I watched this just after your reaction to Money Game Pt. 1. It made a new connection in my mind regarding something you said here about how the conversation in the zeitgeist dances around mental health but doesn't really address it.
Thinking about that in terms of the sort of social collective responsibility we all have, as part of the money game... maybe we have sort of a collective shared understanding that mental health issues are, by and large, caused by society, so in turn caused by _us._ Whether we're directly responsible as a person of means who benefits off of the oppression of others, or indirectly responsible simply by living in society and implicitly accepting all the wrongs it does and problems it has (and the beauty it creates and the incredible feats of artistry and ingenuity and compassion we're capable of)... the guilt is the same. The disincentive to turn a deep, critical gaze toward this crisis that we helped cause... is the same.
And so we just... don't. We don't talk about it. And so we don't solve it.
Not that there's an easy solution. If I knew the solution, believe me, I'd share it. Ren has said the same. He's illuminating the problem, not solving it, because he doesn't _know_ the solution. Nobody does. But how can we even _hope_ to solve it if we don't _discuss_ it? Real discussions. Dialog. Not just talking heads and sound-bytes.
Interesting to watch your discussion at the end. Watched this after falling down the rabbit hole of discovering Ren's music and then watching the many reactions to it. Much of what you say makes sense, even if I'd frame it differently. Distinction between wanting to die and not wanting to live is an important one, though framing it as 'not knowing how to live', to me, feels like potentially reinforcing the idea that I can't cope with stuff. Maybe accurate, and maybe helpful to moving on to the idea that I can learn it, but still that potential connotation of you don't know how to do this = you're failing at this = reinforcing belief in being a failure. The way I typically frame it for myself, or when discussing my stuff with others, is it's more about wanting to find a way to deal with this problematic stuff, to find a way to minimise needing to struggle with it, and if death is a side effect of achieving that, I'm ok with it.
I also think there's a distinction to be made between suicidal ideation driven more out of worthlessness, the stereotypical idea being that others/the world will be better off without me, that I'm a burden, etc. People might say how important I am, how much they don't want that result, but the worthlessness means not believing them. Or ideation driven more by hopelessness, e.g. that what I deal with won't get better, I am no longer prepared to deal with it, so I want a way out by any means necessary. When I believe and acknowledge that people are going to miss me, don't want that result, so then add a layer of guilt to deal with because you know taking that option will cause pain to others.
Agree about the pointlessness of risk assessments, not just when it comes to removal of agency & involuntary treatment, or to bed pressure and getting turned away from help because you're not deemed to be at enough risk, but also because clients who have dealt with the system and understand how it works can & will manipulate that. Can occasionally help, because they no what to say to get the right boxes ticked on the assessment to access treatment. But can & does also hinder openness and trust, because they're wary of triggering a worker feeling like they have a duty of care to start that intervention process due to risk being too high.
Agree with the sensibleness of the question where does it hurt & how can I help, but I'm curious what your next response is if the answer to 'how can I help?' is 'you can't.'
You deserve way more subs, views, and likes
It's not that we're not talking about suicide. We do talk about it, all the time. But no one ever says anything meaningful.
You videos sound like a very good idea. Any steps in the right direction can only help. Look what a video or a few of Ren's has already done.
I can't talk for others, but for me when I've felt like the only way out is to kms, and no i wouldn't ask for help because i felt like a burden, so worthless that why would i share how i was feeling. I don't know the answer though.
so i was 5150 when a friend i knew on a long time had a hunch from the way i talked to her online and had the feeling something was wrong which was true.....i wouldnt have been alive if she didnt(she was someone i had known since i was 5) this was 2003 when ,ental health wasnt even a topic that was talked about openly but after that experience and the full overload i think i received as literally had a 6 hour conversation with the person about my life. was the first time i ever told anyone i tried to hang my self at 12 but the rope broke and after i hit the floor i was in a confused thought state because i didnt know why i was going to do that(mental disorders run deep in my family genetics) learned at 14 my mom was had schizophrenia and i personally did as deep of a dive into psychology what one could do in 2002 when i learned and studied it until today it really helped me accept things in my life that are always going to be that way.(have bi polar 1 with psychosis and learned also i was havign psychosis depression episodes which seems to be very different for people online and not as much is known about it or why it happens exactly including my psych who hasnt had many of any patients with it) well anyways i was treated much differently by many people when they heard about it.....the amoutn of times i heard the joke that spread around the school hey im sorry that urm going through that but will u let me know the day before if ur going to do a school shooting....got very annoying after i lost count. i wasnt the same person the next day....most of the things in my life changed but the actual close friends that i had and are still my best friends to this day.
well after all that i decided to more open about it to people and people got use to it, i was the main person in my city that was known for being open about it. i had people literally get my number from someone at school because someone i knew close friend didnt ever know what to say which i got calls from people ive met or seen like once or twice at that point in life which was weird at the time but as time passed i no longer thought that. people were clueless about things like that. this happened through alot of my life but with different people i met, i always try to be very open to people which people still dont like to hear it which is fine by me as if that bothers you we dont have any business talking much. im not talking about not understanding it but the people who think thats just negativity and dont want that in life at all.
most people try to promote to talk openly about mental illess but in reality its virtue signaling a lot of the time and could actually care less. a lot of the women u asked which trying to find a partner that they wont even try to maintain the relationship if they see their bfs cry outtside of like family deaths...but anything else is a no go. society is very warped right now in so many ways
Unfortuntately, my family is from a culture that doesn´t believe in "new concepts" such as mental health. They don´t even believe that children should be granted human rights. They don´t treat children like humans with emotions, worries and ideas. Therefore, they don´t take any person younger than themselves seriously. Their perspective hasn´t changed in the last thirty years. Any education, any conversation, any honesty, and pleading is considered "talking back", "exaggeration", or "not real". So even IF "we" manage to change society, it will not have the same effect on different cultural groups (even within the same country). It´s disheartening to realise; it´s devastating to think about. It seems like a mountain that cannot be climbed. But I hope we do it anyway, even if it takes several lifetimes.
In Australia we just had RUOK day. I find it incredibly performative & quite useless. Workplaces put on a morning tea with some flyers & stuff to feel good about themselves patting themselves on the back for being a voice when they really don't know how to react to RUOK? and someone says "well no, I'm not".
If there's to be meaningful change it needs to be more grass roots.
Not to mention the fact that a high number of homeless people have a severe mental illness. Many untreated.
Absolutely
The following is pure speculation (re: Ren's references to narcissism/masochism/sadism).
I think Ren, either naturally or as a result of his experiences, see those qualities in himself; likely those close to him see them too. He is perceptive and perhaps capable of great cruelty -- especially when he was younger and drowning in pain and hopelessness. Perhaps he has sadistic tendencies or perhaps a strong sense of empathy magnifies his guilt when he causes pain to people.
The only purpose to my speculation is to suggest that perhaps the implicit assumption that Ren has emerged from years of unbearable pain and isolation psychologically unscathed (and, indeed, that he started without any of these proclivities) creates an expectation for Ren that is both unfair and counterproductive. Surely it would be more surprising if he DIDN'T have a complicated relationship with pain at this point.
And hey, maybe it takes a little narcissim to do what he does and to "shout out into an empty room...that [he] would defeat the forces of evil."
Im 47 an suffered suicidal tendancies all my life find ren refreshing CNN narcacist 🐖 in rens videos marlee.🇬🇧.
Wat u think doc of CNN usig hi ren to diss tik tok saying it idolizes suicide?????????
It was pretty stupid of them. I showed a bit of it in my For Ren video.
From my perspective.There is nothing to help. You just want to end the pain. What is the point of phoning Samaritans. A stranger on the end of the phone doesnt help. Nothing can be done because the pain inside.
Agust D...
Is there a correlation between increase of self destruction and increase of Abortion?
Demi Lovato reaction
Loving the insights and the journey you are taking the channel to. Can I suggest Token - Happiness? I think its quite in line with the topics you address and your target audience. Kind regards
Edit: Exception by the same artist would also be great
Thanks, ive added to my list.