ADHD and Time Blindness - Not just another excuse for being late
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- čas přidán 7. 09. 2019
- You’re late because: You don’t care, you’re irresponsible, you’re lazy... No, you have ADHD and time blindness. Once you know this, you will never blame yourself again, but you will be one step closer to being a better you.
Does anyone else like”planning” but your plan is only like 6 months ahead and it changes every week?
After so many years of hearing I’m “lazy”, that I don’t care about others (regarding being on time), that “everyone has ADHD” & to “stop making excuses”, I feel so seen. Thank you for validating my experience- and so many others.
This disorder is so debilitating. I wish others knew how much it affects our day-to-day lives.
Same!! It's hard to explain to someone that no, I'm not making excuses... I have never related to something SO much in my life. I swear, I feel awful when I let people down, but I am unable to do ANYTHING on time...
No, you were probably procrastinating and being lazy y'all are just saying that because he gave you an excuse to use.
@@lucaswhite3411 oh shut up, ADHD is a neurological disorder… “it’s called a neurodevelopmental disorder. ADHD affects your brain and nervous system, like all neurological disorders, but it also affects brain development. ADHD is presumed to be present from birth.” (Healthline)
@@elizard7 I know what ADHD is .. I was told by multiple sources that I have it but I refuse to accept it and use it as an excuse.
@@lucaswhite3411 shut up
The only Time is "NOW"!
Perfectly said! I want to hear more about how time blindness changes the fabric of time for us ADD'ers.
This has been a very popular video so I will definitely do a follow up! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
I also have this issue with deadlines!! I haven’t turned in a paper on time since early high school. I’m currently a junior in college 😭
Ijeoma I’ll bet money that you wait till the last minute to start it, but write one hell of a paper once you get going. Am I right?
TheADHDExec literally so spot on lmao!!
This describes me exactly.
I’m currently desperately looking for ways to manage time better, in light of my ADHD diagnosis, and now knowing that this condition is what is behind these occurrences and habits I’ve long blamed myself for.
Truly wish I could fix it, but can't see that ever being possible ... especially when seriously lacking Self-Discipline.
Karen -not ‘A Karen’
I know exactly how you feel. I lack self-discipline / control as well. But here’s the thing with any ADHD related issues, it’s not about fixing them, it’s about learning techniques that help you work around those issues. I highly recommend the book Faster Than Normal by Peter Shankman. It’s got some good ideas that have helped him overcome his ADHD “deficiencies”, but he’s very clear about the fact that you are special. Maybe you lose track of time, sure, but you have abilities that others don’t which makes you amazing. You just have to learn how to harness those abilities. If you check it out, I hope you enjoy it.
Kenny
Thanks for the post. You presented this well. It is really relieving to hear this. Now if I can just fix the time blindness with some sort of prosthetic device to deal with this our kind will be unstoppable.
Ha! That’s hilarious! Time glasses or something... For me just knowing helped a lot and it helped my wife understand me better as well.
@@KennyEVasquez You can! At least somewhat😳
Use analog (round) clocks, easy to read numerals, ALL over your house. Our minds can think “quarter till” or “half past” easier. Same for wristwatch or I used to use a big sportwatch with 6 alarms. These items plus a very large monthly calendar and having to fit life around my children’s school(I used to do better at this before life changes of 60s)
Having kids in school really does help a lot! I actually wake up on time and get what I have to get done. Part of the reason why is because of the routine of it. Take me out of the routine though and it throws me into a total time vortex though. 😀
Thank you for this. So well done and so well said. You have ADHD yet you articulated this better than any neurotypical person ever could. So that just proves there is nothing wrong with you and in fact you are doing amazing and tha k you for helping people like you realize we also are doing amazing even if it is hard to get to placed on time. We do care about being late and about people waiting for us and about the way it feels to show up late. And thank you forever.😊👍💯🚶🏃🏃🚶🚶🏃🏃🏃🌷😃
wow, thanks for this. i'm 24 and have been late to everything since i was 8 i was late to school 9 times out of 10 my whole life!
same, I either live a mile away from school or work or a few footsteps and I still manage to be late every single time
Same here.
This video is so well explained and short ! I have to send this to all my friends 👍
Don't forget the huge advantage of time blindness and hyperfocus : extremely long activities don't seem that long.
I once had a 6 hour-long exam, I can't imagine how much everyone else struggled to survive😂
They were all complaining at the end but it was only like an hour for me ! 🤣
hey man, this really helped and i feel SO seen! thank you for pointing me in the right direction!
Wow!! Thank you so much for such an awesome comment!! If you don’t mind, do you have any critics on the videos? I feel they should be shorter. Any feedback would help and is appreciated.
TheADHDExec i thought this was a perfect length!
Me too
ADHD here as well. Massive time blindness. Massive executive function deficits. But you can't use it as an excuse. You can use it so you know the "why", but ya have to put barriers in place to help you be successful.
Because at the end of the day.....no one gives a fuck :) All people see are results, so if you aren't providing results, then that's what they see.
Yes it's the difficult truth.
i almost cried watching this...it's 1:26 am and i have perservation with personal writing projects...i just cant stop my brain...its sp hard for me to switch between tasks...i need help
Go exercise and take a shower. That will help. Don't use this as an excuse
It was 6th grade at a school book fair. I was with everyone in the lobby admiring all the books. The next thing I know, I'm standing alone in an empty lobby, just me and the books. Arrived at the class 15 minutes late, having missed most of a quiz.
Thanks for your video.
This is a Great video and it is well explained. I have adhd myself and time blindness is tough. I find getting out the house very challenging. Sometimes , I can be on time or early and I think to myself I have done it. then I try the next day and I am either just on time or late.It takes a lot of effort and energy to get to places. Medication does help but not much with time.
Being late is really killing my self esteem, my boss came find on me yesterday about it and ive struggled so so much lately with time blindness
It's not a thing, it is a maturity issue.
Hello, thank you for this video. I have not been diagnosed with ADHD but I relate to everything in this video that you said. I've been searching to try to find help for my problems to fix it, as it seems to have gotten worse over the years. You've given me much to think about and look into.
This is interesting, looking back when I wasn’t diagnosed yet I always would have such bad anxiety about meetings and appointments I would actually show up hours earlier because I would rather be there early rather than be late.
Could that also be caused my time blindness?
Love your video!
Thank you so much!! It actually sounds to me like you were inadvertently compensating for your time blindness by getting places super early. I’m Hispanic so as a culture we aren’t super respectful of time, but if your culture or your family instilled that in you it was important, therefore you found a way to compensate. I’m sure it wasn’t fun waiting around for hours, but I promise you it is better than getting places late. Good for you!
Came to the comments to say this.
I overcompensate a lot. I am always calculating how long I've got until I have to leave and 20-30 minutes before I have to leave I am nervously checking the time constantly, just I don't get too late. And then I leave too early, because of fear of getting late. I almost never get too late (but too early) but I am already mentally busy with leaving for over an hour before I've actually got to go.
I am the opposite , always late.
Thank you for taking the TIME to make this very encouraging and informational video.
I didn’t think it was made up. I was like Oh thank you thank you - I KNEW I wasn’t making this crap up! You talking about this helps me thank you. Just the validation of a life long struggle with time. Ive always had this EXACT following thought running through my mind: “ Time means nothing to me “. But I was scared to say it out loud. I missed my court case twice, ok, years ago. But here’s the kicker - I turned up to it twice at times it wasn’t on. Had to lease with the authorities to tell them - ‘I’m not messing you around !”. Thank you
Yes! Thank you!
This was mad helpful I constantly cannot seem to make it anywhere on time because I cannot keep track nor plan ahead more than a week at the most anything more and I might be there for hours
I can plan and love strategy and planning but I am still very often late and have time mgt issues.. i have not been formally diagnosed but after reading parts of Delivered from Distraction, really see lots of inattentive ADD signs in myself including lateness, forgetfulness, procrastination, time mgt probs, day dreaming, getting distracted, disliking routine low-impact chores, etc..
I dont really live in the moment though - more in the future.. you might be confusing time blindness / mgt issues with inability to plan slightly? Living in the moment also depends on personality type - ie take a look at MBTI and their sensing vs intuition and judging vs perceiving types..
Thanks for the comment! I really appreciate it!
One thing I have learned in speaking with people is that ADHD symptoms are different for everyone. Planning is part of executive function. Sometimes we inadvertently develop techniques that help us compensate for things we struggle with. Did someone teach you to plan at some point in your life? Perhaps that is why you enjoy it. It could also be that since you love to plan and strategize you hyper-focus on that and enjoy it, but when it comes to execution you have difficulties. In my case I was never taught the importance of it so I spent 36 years of my life without a game plan. At that point flying by the seat of your pants becomes your lifestyle. That's what makes ADHD difficult to pin down, it's different for everyone.
The symptoms you described are spot on for ADHD. Adults with ADHD at some point have an "AHA" moment when they read something or talk to someone about their symptoms. I highly recommend you get formally diagnosed. It doesn't mean you would be obligated to get on medication, but a diagnosis provides you clarity on what you personally struggle with and it can start you on the path that is right for you.
Thanks again for the comment! I love connecting with others and I hope the video was helpful!
TheADHDExec thank you - appreciate your in-depth reply - this definitely makes sense. And good idea on getting formally diagnosed / evaluated - have been self-studying but should probably do that! :)
It can’t hurt, only help. 😀. I wish you the best on your journey!
MBTI What is this?
@@PennoyerFoyer A Myers Briggs Type Indicator. It’s a personality test that shows how you interact with others. There are a lot of different tests that are similar, but MBTI is a really well known one. It’s pretty interesting because sometimes they can be spot on to how you react to certain things
Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah, hallelujah, ha - ley - ey lu-yah !
Okay and how do you fix it? I don’t want to be victim and say I can’t do something because of this and that. I saw you mentioned it’s fixable but all I heard was loads of excuses why we’re late; it would’ve been good to see some advices on how to stop it, too.
So how do we overcome this?
.
Yep exactly 😣
Reached 56 with vague notions of what l want to do but still dont know...
where are the links that the video mentions ? for the articles and videos ?
Omg, thank-you!
Wow!! Thank you! The fact it helped you enough to say that is awesome!
@@KennyEVasquez I cannot even begin to tell you how much you help me! I just got diagnosed yesterday and I didn't know. I've been ashamed for being late all the time my whole life and I have been the recipient of my anger and disappointment turn family and friends and professors and employees for being late. Kids amount of social punishment and suffering. I just sent your video to a relative then to a friend who was up former Professor of mine who change my grade from an A to a b because of my tardiness even though I had 100% on every single exam and paper and presentation. I was the top of the class and because of being late a grade-point got taken away from me. And that was one of two classes. They don't understand, they think you have to be there the whole class in order to get it but I was the only one that had 100% on everything and I didn't need to be there the whole time to get it obviously. Definitely a different brain wiring. Thank you so very much! This video gave me validation and also a defense, look it's not that I don't care it's that I have a freaking disability. Finally have a name for all of this. Now the Journey Begins.
Do you have a Facebook page?
No, not one dedicated to this. I should probably make one to reach more people
Been late all my life one that hurt was being late for first a date goodbye 👋🏻
this is me🤯
😝😝😝
The only thing worse than a neurotypical constantly making you feel like less than or constantly asking wtf is wrong with you, is a p.o.s. boss who also has ADHD who says "well I have it too and I don't struggle with that so I don't believe you"
That's because it's an excuse
@@lucaswhite3411 And not having legs is just an excuse for not running, huh?
@@MrTomservo85 that's an actual disability. Not being responsible enough to set an alarm properly, or plan a task correctly is not one.. I do agree that your boss should treat you with the same respect that he expects from you. I don't do excuses though from anyone including myself.
@@lucaswhite3411 I did not realize you were the determining authority of what is and isn't a disability. I thought that literally having a measurable and observable difference in brain physiology counted, but I guess all my missing neurotransmitters are just bullshit. I guess I don't understand science as much as you do. I'll tell the a autistic kids to quit faking it.
@@lucaswhite3411 Cool. Didn't realize you were a scientist. I'll tell the autistic kids they're faking it.