It really feels like I'm trying to understand a madman when I watch this guy commit absurd amounts of mental energy to execute a plan with no clear goal
Jerma’s interview strategy of throwing heavy metal objects at the interviewers head until they hire you has had an immeasurable effect on my career path
It's the only appropriate response when the interviewer tells you that the position doesn't have any of the benefits or salary that they said it did in the job listing.
little known fact about apples and muffins in this game, they actually do one point of damage, so you would eventually kill someone with them if you pelted them enough.
My favourite quirk with Jerma is the way he laughs. Every so often he’ll be in the middle of a laugh and won’t breathe or make a noise for an extended period of time, so you don’t know if he’s finished laughing or not. The longest instance of this I saw in this video was 9 seconds long.
6:00 - 7:35 > You are a successful bank teller in one of the most reputable and state of the art banks in New York City > Today's the big day for you. If everything goes according to plan, you can close a massive deal and get the attention of your boss, Athena, possibly for a promotion. > "You've got this!" You think to yourself. > Your so confident that upon your arrival to the bank, you go to the bathroom and lay out 3 lines of Cocaine on top of the the trash bin in the handicap stall. > As you leave, you feel like you're being watched. You merely shrug it off as nerves and go about your day. > Hours go by and things are taking longer than you expected. You sit at your desk, twiddling your fingers. > "I really could use something to take the edge off!" Your mind screams. Celebration be damned, you go straight for the bathroom for some of that dank nose candy. > You lean over the green lid covering the garbage and with a loud *FHMFFFFFFF*, you inhale your supply of booger sugar. "Gimme that high, BABY!" > But you don't feel high. Something is terribly wrong. Instead of feeling like you've conquered the world, you feel like your stomach has conquered you. > Discombobulated, you ask to yourself. "Where are the bathrooms?" You fail to notice the jumbo size toilet next to you. > With your sight waining, you're barely able to make out another garbage bin next to the sink and are barely able to make it before you involuntarily vomit out your guts. > *CREAK* You hear the door ominously open behind you, but despite your worst fear of it being a coworker or worse, your boss, you continue doing the hokey croaky. > The unknown figure walks past you as if he doesn't even notice your presence. You hear the squeaking of the faucet being turned on followed by the figure leaving the stall. > With your breakfast and lunch effectively evacuated, you regain some of your composure long enough to notice water on the floor and the sink clogged. > "I shouldn't let all of this water go to waste." You say to yourself. Perhaps the slightest bit high, you begin to wash your hands on the floor, thinking it's a good idea. > *CREAK* You hear the door ominously open again. This time you turn around and find a security guard. He looks serious, suspicious, and scary. > "I don't... I don't know you..." you say to the menacing constable. You look at his hand to notice him grasping a green apple with a malicious grip. > *THUD* Without warning, the guard chucks the Granny Smith straight at your mouth. Confused and in pain, you ragdoll towards the floor. > You try to get back up only to notice another sour fruit of doom lobbed at your face. Then another... then another... then another... > "Is this real? OR ARE YOU JUST HIGH?!" The officer bleakly asks, standing over your bleeding, battered self only to continue his apple onslaught. > The next thing you remember is waking up in a hospital. Your teeth are now gone and your employer has been killed by an assassin posing as a security guard. > *The moral of this story. Don't do drugs (...or at least don't leave them on top of a garbage can in a bank bathroom)*
One of my family's dog got put down just an hour ago it came out of nowhere and now im in my room crying thank you for uploading jerma this helps a bit
I love the thought of trying to take a piss and Jerma bursting through to door with an armful of apples and muffins like “IS THIS REAL OR ARE YOU HIGH”
Jerma I hope you know that your simple love for video games and effortlessly hilarious personality has kept me afloat many years. Merry Christmas man! :)
Reminds me of the Eric Andre interview when they were discussing Mortal Combat fatalities and Hannibal said he would just throw apples until the other person dies lol
thank god im not the only one, i remember watching the exact same video like almost a week ago if even, and now im sitting here seeing that it was posted an hour ago. you’re the only other person ive seen in the comments say something about this
It really feels like I'm trying to understand a madman when I watch this guy commit absurd amounts of mental energy to execute a plan with no clear goal
He is actually a mastermind villain
It's because you get very little context with these stream highlights
[hits a guy with an apple 100x without it knocking him out]
[throws an apple at a lady one time and she gets up]
“Wait why aren’t you knocked out??”
perfect description of what watching a jerma video is
@@sdsd2e2321 no it's because he's a psycho.
This really is the perfect game for Jerma- make jokes he would try irl, throw things at strangers, be bald, etc.
You better not be on the news tomorrow for stealing all wet floor signs in the state
He played Hitman Absolution back in the day on his main channel
How has that Majora's Mask Let's Play been going anyway?
That ending really got me, Jesus Christ
You forgot RUTHLESS KILLER
We all knew that slippery floor gag was powerfull enough to derail the stream
@@AxxLAfriku the fuck does that mean
That’s so true
It's the Dastardly Devil Boy slippery floor joke again 5 years later, incredible
It's such a clownish thing to include in the game that it feels like Jerma himself made it happen
@@scrithen2836 ignore him, he spams so he will get clicks
"Where are the bathrooms?"
-guy in a bathroom
Jerma is usually the same height as the lower urinals so seeing it from Hitman’s perspective is disorientating
*proceeds to puke in the bathroom trashcan*
He's unable to see the forest for all the trees.
When the drugs are so good you forget where you are
@@CluckN Jerma wasn't even the one who said the line lol, but good one.
Imagine snorting a line of coke and then some short streamer starts pelting you with apples for twenty minutes
"I am waiting for a bus."
what this vid doesnt capture is just how brutally long it was too
thinking about hannibal pantomiming throwing apples in order to stone someone
It has happened.
"I want him to wake up naked, do coke, and die"
That has got to be a year-round winner for best sentence out of context.
i love how he doesn't even put the coke down himself it's just random coke lines in the bathroom
Free-range cocaine spontaneously generates in the wild on flat washroom surfaces (toilet seats, tp containers, trash containers). A miracle, indeed.
communal coke lines
company perks, like when someone leaves a box of donuts in the break room
@@Fopenplop this is actually more common than most people think
Damn crackheads, forget to snort their coke
Jerma’s interview strategy of throwing heavy metal objects at the interviewers head until they hire you has had an immeasurable effect on my career path
It's the only appropriate response when the interviewer tells you that the position doesn't have any of the benefits or salary that they said it did in the job listing.
5:22 He ate a WHOLE SLEEVE of Oreos.
Was he trying to lose consciousness?
"Where's my mom's bedroom?"
little known fact about apples and muffins in this game, they actually do one point of damage, so you would eventually kill someone with them if you pelted them enough.
Yeah, I was hoping he'd eventually get that to happen
that's Hannibal Buress' mortal kombat fatality
Can you do this in real life?
@@infernoblaze3493 If you chucked them as hard as 47 you might be able to do it even faster.
>gives man an emetic in his coke
>"Why is he getting sick?"
jerma brain
it's called rat poison not human poison so it shouldn't do anything to humans unless the guy is secretly a Rat Man
@@starduststriker8792 what about the giant rat that makes all of the rules
Security guard walks into bathroom and assaults man with apples.
Truly a worst nightmare to every corporate worker.
An apple a day causes enemy dismay
Nice pfp 😎
What a psycho streamer. He gave that man like five concussions and then just laughed at him.
Hes playing a gamr where you kill people you dont expect the most sane actions
"Pick the card you feel best represents 'opportunity'"
"The wet floor sign"
The way he giddily laughs to himself while snapping the neck of the unconscious woman is nothing short of sickening. Subscribed.
4:45
Jerma's made it this far in these games without realizing the emetic poisons are not lethal.
Was debating if I should get the dlc. The wet floor takedowns have single handedly sold me
jerma repeatedly chucking apples at a coke head businessman on the floor made me spill soda on my bedsheets
You and Oreo sleeve Jerma should start a group for people who can't keep food items off bedsheets.
"Hey man this shit gave me a really weird trip, a security guard kept throwing apples at me"
@@kaebeelee man i wish i could put reaction images in youtube comments
My favourite quirk with Jerma is the way he laughs. Every so often he’ll be in the middle of a laugh and won’t breathe or make a noise for an extended period of time, so you don’t know if he’s finished laughing or not. The longest instance of this I saw in this video was 9 seconds long.
6:50 is literally the Hannibal Buress fatality
9:10 Watching him get frustrated enough to pelt an unconscious woman with an iron was magical.
5:59 Damn son, that transition
so is everyone just gonna ignore the perfectly edited cut at 5:58 where the dude he just killed is back in the bathroom again
6:00 - 7:35
> You are a successful bank teller in one of the most reputable and state of the art banks in New York City
> Today's the big day for you. If everything goes according to plan, you can close a massive deal and get the attention of your boss, Athena, possibly for a promotion.
> "You've got this!" You think to yourself.
> Your so confident that upon your arrival to the bank, you go to the bathroom and lay out 3 lines of Cocaine on top of the the trash bin in the handicap stall.
> As you leave, you feel like you're being watched. You merely shrug it off as nerves and go about your day.
> Hours go by and things are taking longer than you expected. You sit at your desk, twiddling your fingers.
> "I really could use something to take the edge off!" Your mind screams. Celebration be damned, you go straight for the bathroom for some of that dank nose candy.
> You lean over the green lid covering the garbage and with a loud *FHMFFFFFFF*, you inhale your supply of booger sugar. "Gimme that high, BABY!"
> But you don't feel high. Something is terribly wrong. Instead of feeling like you've conquered the world, you feel like your stomach has conquered you.
> Discombobulated, you ask to yourself. "Where are the bathrooms?" You fail to notice the jumbo size toilet next to you.
> With your sight waining, you're barely able to make out another garbage bin next to the sink and are barely able to make it before you involuntarily vomit out your guts.
> *CREAK* You hear the door ominously open behind you, but despite your worst fear of it being a coworker or worse, your boss, you continue doing the hokey croaky.
> The unknown figure walks past you as if he doesn't even notice your presence. You hear the squeaking of the faucet being turned on followed by the figure leaving the stall.
> With your breakfast and lunch effectively evacuated, you regain some of your composure long enough to notice water on the floor and the sink clogged.
> "I shouldn't let all of this water go to waste." You say to yourself. Perhaps the slightest bit high, you begin to wash your hands on the floor, thinking it's a good idea.
> *CREAK* You hear the door ominously open again. This time you turn around and find a security guard. He looks serious, suspicious, and scary.
> "I don't... I don't know you..." you say to the menacing constable. You look at his hand to notice him grasping a green apple with a malicious grip.
> *THUD* Without warning, the guard chucks the Granny Smith straight at your mouth. Confused and in pain, you ragdoll towards the floor.
> You try to get back up only to notice another sour fruit of doom lobbed at your face. Then another... then another... then another...
> "Is this real? OR ARE YOU JUST HIGH?!" The officer bleakly asks, standing over your bleeding, battered self only to continue his apple onslaught.
> The next thing you remember is waking up in a hospital. Your teeth are now gone and your employer has been killed by an assassin posing as a security guard.
> *The moral of this story. Don't do drugs (...or at least don't leave them on top of a garbage can in a bank bathroom)*
This was exceptional. You didn't have to put so much effort into a shitpost, but you did anway. This is what I love about Jerma and his community.
2:03 i love the thought of 47 having a bunch of stuff on him in his magic pockets so he can throw them on someone’s unconscious head
8:03 that reference made me very happy
He has PTSD from his TF2 days lmao
Missed opportunity to use the Hannibal Buress throwing apples clip for the intro
“Fatality! fwuh fwuh fwuh fwuh fwuh fwuh fwuh-“
Local Hitman Harasses Victims In Unusually Unsanitary Lavatories While High On Amphetamines
this reminds me of a weird high i had. i was in the bathroom and a guard came in and started throwing apples at me
Hey! You hit someone in the head! Are you nuts?! That's really dangerous!!
"I don't feel so good... Where are the bathrooms?" Proceeds to start walking towards door that exits bathroom
I swear, Jerma playing Hitman is the funniest thing ever
I swear that Jerma is a SCP
should it be a or an scp? because I'm now confused
@@ariezon an scp because first letter reads as "es"
@@someoneimportant6548 no but close enough
Strawberri ?
His streams often qualify the need to be contained back into sanity after derailing a derail to derail onto another rail of imminent derailing
"She's got four pocket medics!"
Absolute legend
I had a nightmare the other night I was playing a fan made jerma horror game. Even though I was scared in the dream I woke up laughing
that is horrifying. spill the deets
0:41 this sequence is cartoonishly easy, it's the game developers at the institution where Jerma is being held put in just to assuage his bloodlust
5:54 hands down best cut
Hit man 2: Killing people by throwing apples softly at their heads.
I feel like jerma would make for a perfect supervillain
One of my family's dog got put down just an hour ago it came out of nowhere and now im in my room crying thank you for uploading jerma this helps a bit
I know that feel bro, just know it appreciated you being a family member to it.
"hey! you hit someone in the head! are you nuts? that's really dangerous!"
best dialogue in any game ever
I love the thought of trying to take a piss and Jerma bursting through to door with an armful of apples and muffins like “IS THIS REAL OR ARE YOU HIGH”
"DID I GET THE JOB"
"I just want to watch you do coke and die!" - Jeremy Elbertson, 2020
5:55 that transition was so clean just looked like the game glitched
Local streamer beats stockbroker to death with golden delicious apples.
"Food wielding menace tortures cocaine addicted investment banker in men's restroom by throwing apples and muffins at him repeatedly for minutes"
6:55 ah yes, the hannibal buress mortal kombat finisher move
Jerma wheezing laughing while repeatedly throwing objects at an unconscious man's face is best Jerma.
1:45 Psychopathic Streamer Throws Everything but the Kitchen Sink at Man's Skull
2:03 when he threw that soda can I was literally crying laughing
6:55 the Hannibal buress fatality
“Bathrooms? Isn’t this the cocaine room?”
an apple a day keeps the bathroom man away
The Wet Bathroom Bandit strikes again!
I'm smokin that shit that makes it feel like you're being bombarded by a rent a cop with apples in the bathroom
That cut at 5:57 was insane
I love the fact that Jerma just never realizes apples don't knock people out
Jerma I hope you know that your simple love for video games and effortlessly hilarious personality has kept me afloat many years. Merry Christmas man! :)
Tiny insane man accidentally recreates Hannibal Buress’s Mortal Kombat fatality inside a bathroom while high on cocaine.
Now the real question is was this stream real, or were you just high?
Brought to you by FRUIT: Eat It Up
0:45 ah yes my immediate response to anyone slipping and falling is to straight up crush their windpipe
5:59 what was that cut. nearly seamless. impressive.
Every Hitman video that comes out is always a delight, and much love to Vinny for capturing some hilarious moments so well
Seeing that World's End scene cut like that really puts a different spin to it.
6:00 where are the bathroom
The devilish devil boy returns with his slippery slime
you know its gonna be good when the vid starts with a clip from the worlds end
I love how he still includes his main channel in the description even though he hasn’t posted there in over 3 years
Here’s the 500iq plan, ignores all obvious clues in the interview
The repetitive pipe throwing gets me every time
This is the kinda guy to secrete noxious fumes
Jerma I’ve been rewatching all your videos of TF2 with star and they crack me up every time.. keep doing what you’re doing!
7:15 reenactment of Gus Johnson's childhood
Jerma would be the type of guy that would teach a stranger a lesson to not do drugs just whipping apples at him like some weird fever dream
3:10
"Hey!..."
*Sounds of ascension*
I cannot wait for Jerma to play Hitman 3
Imagine having your death written on your grave stone and it's just "Beaten to death with apples"
Next time I'm high I will be in constant fear of a security guard throwing apples at me.
Imagine waking up and some guy knocks you out again with an apple
I hope the new bond game is just like this
Watching Jerma pay Hitman is one of life's greatest pleasures.
3:32 Clearly, it's Agent K.
Settle down there, Carlito.
this game let's you perform hannibal buress' fatality
I sleep soundly at night knowing that if I ever have trouble falling asleep Jerma985 will pelt me with random objects to make sure I stay asleep.
Reminds me of the Eric Andre interview when they were discussing Mortal Combat fatalities and Hannibal said he would just throw apples until the other person dies lol
I love this guy he can allways make anything funny
Man those apples must be so bruised
7:00 The Hannibal Buress Fatality
This would have been the perfect opportunity to use Hannibal's apple throwing fatality bit for the opening video
6:23 hannibal buress' mortal kombat finisher
I lost it when he threw a can of soda at that guy's face, I fucking can't man.
Hannibal: "if i had a fatality i'd just throw apples at them until they died."
Literally anything that Jerma does, it's somehow 5x funnier than a normal person doing it
I love how he threw apples at people for like 5 minutes and instantly forgot they dont knock people out
imagine getting fired from your job and then as punishment the security guard just starts slamming you with apples.
4:25 okay, so he's definitely an IT guy
No, he's definitely finance, IT doesn't make enough to buy coke
@@cheyannei5983 depends on what you're in
Okay I'm 99% certain I've seen this exact video on here before... am I going insane?
thank god im not the only one, i remember watching the exact same video like almost a week ago if even, and now im sitting here seeing that it was posted an hour ago. you’re the only other person ive seen in the comments say something about this
Yes, I feel as if I saw this video months or even a year ago.
I swear to god I watched him stream this like last year