Are WOKE Gen Z too easily OFFENDED? | EP. 12 | The Blake Debate
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- čas přidán 6. 09. 2024
- Join me Alexis Blake and my fiancé Liam Blake on our weekly[ish] podcast - where we discuss the latest hot topics, our life in general and also answering questions from viewers!
On today’s episode we discuss whether we think [LGBTQ] Gen Z's are too easily offended and compare it to what some of the older [LGBTQ] generation had to experience.
Hope you enjoy!
All our love
Alexis & Liam
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Off topic: Alexis, yellow is a beautiful color on you!
Agreed!
She’s definitely a Warm Autumn yes!!
literally ❤
So true and yellow is definitely not a color most people can pull off! Love it ❤
Glowing!!💛💛💛
I grew up in the 70s and 80s.. and we fought for protective laws for trans and gay people... not so that people were forced to change their opinions about homosexuality.. but so that trans and gay people could go to school and work and shopping without having to worry about being evicted or fired or murdered purely because of their sexuality or gender beliefs.
The whole point why we fought so hard to change the laws was so that ALL people would be treated EQUALLY regardless of their lifestyle... and its so sad to me that the same group of people who pleaded for equal treatment and freedom from persecution for their belief or lifestyle.. now use that freedom of expression to deny others the same freedom of expression.
Well said😊
Amen to that. Some trans people think their rights over ride others people's rights. Some same sex spaces and sports are needed. I'll defend someone's rights to be treated fairly without discrimination. However, having worked with victims of domestic abuse and SA a woman's right to privacy, dignity and safety cannot be pushed aside.
@@Bakeroo You can leave out the Trans part. Some people think their rights override others rights. Unfortunately... they normally hijack someone elses movement, doing more harm than good. It is all a type of narcissism and false prophecy.
My older sister is a lesbian. When she was 16 my homophobic father threw her out. She lived on the streets, had to do awful things to survive and had to come see me and mum in the dead of night because my Dad was abusive. Now, Teresa and her lovely partner foster children. I know young people she's looked after she has helped get clean, have stable jobs and savings. That's why I am an Ally and that's the strength people need to remember is in the history of lgbt+ people. I'm so proud of her x
Shame on him for throwing out his own child he brought into this world, let alone a minor child he was legally responsible for. Shame.
God bless your sister and her partner.
bless her. Unfortunately a lot of the abuse these days is inner circle. We don't see these influencers getting attacked or not being accepted.. instead they are going out and screaming in people's faces.
@@katarina5233 Lol.
It's the screaming, crying and refusal to listen to reason that gets me. They cry "murder", "-phobic" and all sorts of slurs if you just disagree with them. The have NO idea how easy their lives are right now. I'm not saying all of them are this way. But the ones who are dominating the internet is.
Don’t forget the “transgen0cide in America”, they bring that up too.
Not wanting to take a side on I/P,but student protestors asking for 'humanitarian aid' after one day of not eating when they probably blocked access to the people runing the uni food store,demanding equal help to people literally getting bombed does highlaight this issue
My theory is it's because gen Z grew up with the online lgbtq community, which is like a separate culture where everyone understands and respects identities no matter how far removed from straight cis norms, that the real world offline seems bigoted and unaccepting by contrast. Online you can find spaces where (for example) everyone will use your xe/xem pronouns in a heartbeat, which is great, but only if you realise you can't expect the same in non-lgbtq spaces because it's just a different culture. A lot of people do realise and accept that, but the ones who don't are more vocal about it.
@@callum.timothy That's a good point, thanks for sharing.
@@callum.timothy insightful, they were able to "find their tribes" faster than the previous generations were able to do. We all had to meet people, decide if we have similar interests, hobbies, etc and if we had to do this with ever single person. Whereas Gen Z was able to find communities online with like minded individuals. We had to learn how to get along, in a brutal fashion. But it is partially on the parents for allowing sports teams to continuously give trophies to all kids. Both winning and losing have valuable lessons.
It is okay to be soft and sensitive, but it is imperative that you become resilient.
I feel like the second part is what is missing...
This ☝🏿
totally fair 👍👍
People mess up my name constantly. Call out the wrong name at the doctor almost every time, can’t spell it without help, takes a whole back and forth discussion to help them pronounce it correctly. Some people I’ve known for awhile still fuck it up. It’s irritating, but I don’t let it ruin my day. People aren’t trying to be assholes
So how is it pronounced?
Same, and as a 5'10 stocky woman, I've been accidentally misgendered and called sir on a couple occasions, it's funny. My mother's name is Charla and she gets the wrong name and misgendered in one by being called Charles pretty consistently. No biggie.
@@HippoAreCuteif it’s his user name, I’d pronounce it as Brin Wolsh
My ex had the same name. He would explain it as 'brin brin' like an old school telephone.
@@LG-Musique that’s the other thing, people assume I’m a man 😂
Yes, they are easily offended. I'm a baby boomer lesbian. I had heard about the non-binary and the pronoun they/them business. Okay, that's cool I thought. Then I started seeing CZcams commentators talking about the meltdowns that were posted on tiktok. Narcissistic, the world should bow down to my every whim babies. I live in the American South where children are taught from early childhood to respect their elders by addressing them as Sir and Ma,am. Not to mention as a woman even when I was only 30 and many of the twenty year olds were calling me Miss then my name. These crazies would never survive here.
So true. I'm origionally fromthe South. (SC) I saw an episode of some kind of "Cops" type video recently, where a young woman in Arkansas was being pulled over for DUI. People in the comments thought she was putting on an act, because every time the officer asked her a yes or no question, she said "yes sir" or "no sir". There were a few of us in the comments, who tried to explain that it's a very normal thing to hear in the American South, but there were still some people who refused to believe it. LOL
I won't do the they them, because they need you to change how you think to speak differently to them, but they don't change a thing, they are still I and me. So you need this effort from others while you make no effort at all yourself is not okay to me, especially if I don't know you. Also if they need this, they're going to be weird in other areas so I won't deal with them. But those are my reasons.
@@thelestrangelair Not to mention that the whole idea behind their demands about what you call them, is based on something that's not even real. It's not scientifically factual that a person can be in between or not one and not the other. Every human being is one of two types. F or M. It's encoded in our DNA from the moment the two pieces of the puzzle meet each other at conception. So, I feel just like you do. I don't play their games.
You two are just so lovely. I already commented this, but I must repeat it. If all trans-people would be so nice and reasonable there would be hardly any debate or controversy about the topic. I grew-up in the '80 and '90 so I remember how badly gay people, or people who lived outside the "normative" were treated. I do think younger generations should get more... "resilient". If someone "misgenders" you on accident don't take it personally. I'm sure they feel bad enough. AND if they do it as a way to provoke or insult the worst thing you can do is show how much it affected you. You basically reacted just how they wanted. Just ignore it. Trust me working in retail for 20 years I learned it's best to react with condescending politeness.
Back in 1976 I met my first person in transition. It was kept very low key, as I worked for a mideling/finishing school. This person was one of Stanford hospitals patients. She joined us for about 6 months to learn all the ins and outs relating to feminity, walking, talking, body language, attire, hairstyling. I've been curious after so many years how she is doing. I can picture her but I cannot remember her name.
I’m a bio female and I went to get my first allergy shot and they accidentally entered me in as male in the computer, so when they called out mister, I just laughed and asked it to be corrected, and they did. It didn’t offend me at all, I feel most sound minded people would brush it off instead of posting about it online.
I do feel this young generation in general are whiny entitled people, I feel like it just disrespects all the struggles others before have had to go through
It doesn't offend you because there's no truth to it. Transitioning is choosing to live as a lie. I really don't mean that in a mean way but it must be very stressful to constantly worry about being "clocked". The trans people I see who own their transition more seem a lot happier and more comfortable within themselves.
You just said it, they are not sound minded, so giving in to them is not helping. Randomly we lived in TX in the U.S for a minute for reasons and my husband and I had to get ids and he ha a beard at the time, and they accidently labeled him as female. We had a laugh about women in tx having beards.We returned to the dmv and had it fixed. End of story. He did not cry. lol
When I was 14, in the 80s, I met kids my age that were living on the streets or in shelters because they had been kicked out of their own family home for being gay. There was no support for them to complete their schooling so some were selling themselves so that they could afford somewhere to live or just to eat. Bad stuff happened and hiv was new. It was an incredibly scary time.
I'm 52 and when I decided to transition I was pretty well alienated in my small town. I had to move to a new town where nobody knew my own self. Things have gotten way better and there is always going to haters. I protested to get marriage rights and medical care so I totally agree with the lesbian in the video. I personally wouldn't do now knowing this is what our community was going to become. I'm personally embarrassed in the direction it's gone. This gen needs to get a thicker skin.
Can't tell you how often my Gen-Z coworker yells "That's offensive!" or sais "That hurts my feelings!". Sigh.
I'm so glad none of my coworkers are like this lol. (Most of us are gen Z)
@@ThinWhiteAxe honestly I work with in the same department as two Gen Z's. One has just had a kid and so has grown up quickly by and large, the other I suspect is a clinical narcissist. The self obsession is abundantly clear in a sea of 150, he is also the one being offensive to others (but sulks for weeks at the slightest (constructive) criticism), he also either doesn't understand no, or disregards it. I would prefer to imagine like the former guy, that he is a true representative of Gen Z, but the annoying one gets the attention because he seeks it.
Are the internet-posters too sensitive? Yes. Do you have to be grateful that people don't beat you up? No, that's baseline. Harrassment at work is not being privileged, just because nobody is murdering you. Staring at your privates is sexual harrassment. Being upset about this, is not being "too sensitive". Now, do I wish you resilience and that you can laugh about the idiots? Yes, of course. I don't want you to suffer. But I do understand your pain, very much. The pronoun cryers? Not so much.
Baseline? The norm in a lot of places is still to abuse queer people. We experience violence every day across this country and around the world. Yes, anywhere you can be yourself without fear of violence is definitely something to be grateful for. I live in CO and most gay people here know not to call the Denver police if you're in trouble for fear of violence. I was assaulted by a homophobic cop right outside my own front door just 8 yrs ago. A whole lot of people worked HARD to make things like that start to change and that fight isn't nearly over. What's wrong with being grateful and having some appreciation for those that fought and even gave their lives so you are able to think of nonviolence as a baseline? It's wonderful that your experience of "baseline" has not included violence, but that has not been the case in most places for very long at all and still is not the case in a lot of communities. We are even turning back the clock and the rights and safety we worked toward are in danger. If you sit back and pretend that's not true, we will lose what we've gained and go back to the persecution and violence of the past. Trump and his followers would love to outlaw us all and make the entire queer community go back in the closet and disappear from existence.
@@MrMcCuinn Nothing is wrong with being grateful. I am all for seeing what is better than before. I just think Alexis is not 'part of the problem' or 'oversensitive' when she is hurt and offended by workplace harrassement. She does not have to be grateful that it's 'just' harrassment, just because her transition was easier than somebody's twenty years ago.
I stand by my word baseline. Yes, there are way to many places in the world were people are being threatend just for what they are. But those places are below baseline.
The world has gone mad, I'm driving the bus and I can't even drive. Most these days are so worried about misgendering, they can't cope with problems that crop up and they assume its personal. It's terribly sad. I am not saying that people should 'put up' with rudeness that isn't necessary, but most people these days don't go out of their way to be mean to people. There are more things that we should be concerned about rather than calling by the wrong name. Most biological people have been misgendered, it's not a new phenomenon though many TAs would have you believe that its new, personal and so offensive...
A male friend of mine always gets mistaken for a girl on the phone,he has a high pitch voice,and he mostly laughs or makes jokes about it
I think our perception is being warped by attention seekers. After all who is going to do repeat videos on social media how they didn't give a f about being misgendered? I'm Gen X and I've been misgendered as female before, once when I was firmly in the closet, and once a few years ago in a pub. I didn't mind tbh, though I do sometimes have feminine mannerisms, I'd imagine he was drunk, concussed or joking. You know if people would do it more often, I wouldn't mind. Probably a compliment, of a sort - not particularly helpful when I'm looking for a guy but 🤷♂️
I love this channel so much I feel like you are so fair when covering these topics and your opinions align with many. Blaire White etc are also fair when covering these topics but I feel a bit disillusioned with the socialism bashing and discouraging every left wing movement ever - she definitely appeals more to an American audience haha. So it's pleasant to have a British person discuss things that I'd agree with in and outside of the trans/LGBT discourse.
Yeah that Camp uses commie like the woke camp uses Na*i until it loses all meaning.
I'm over the "I got misgendered" when they clearly don't look like they've made an effort to transition or have deliberately set up others to catch them out.... Congratulations on reaching your 3 year HRT/Transition milestone! It's now (just) 4 years since I started HRT. It took me a year prior to that to decide that I needed to transition. There are still things I want to do to complete my transition.
Thank you. if they make no effort, why should we? Same with the they people they want you to speak and think differently but they have to change nothing as tey still refer to themselves in the singular as I or me. No.
The overly sensitive generation issue reminds me of a quote I heard before “Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.” We've had it so good in the western world that we've dropped our ability to be emotionally stable. It's like when you work out and build muscles and decide "Wow, my muscles are good. I think I'll stop exercising now and take it easy from now on" and your muscles start to lose their strength and you get back into using the again, things feel heavier than they used to.
I think the thing about being offended is anyone has the right to get offended and be upset about something.. its when you set up your phone and get upset and cry or even worse film someone else offending you so you can get clicks.. if you are doing that you are coming across as extremely inauthentic and people have a harder time believing or caring about what you say.
Hello Alexis and Liam. All elders are disrespected by the younger generation these days. The respect that we gave our elders in the 1960's is totally different now. We as elders now are not respected at all. Unfortunately it's everywhere now. I sympathize with how you both feel and remember there are people who care about you for who you are. We all deserve to be respected. Take care. Jane in New Zealand 🇬🇧🇳🇿💕
As a manager of a youth service supporting young LGBTQ+ young people this was a really interesting debate… some of our trans young people do struggle at times when the incorrect pro noun has been used. Our role is to give the young people a safe space to explore and discuss and help them to build coping strategies and resilience to recognise when a genuine mistake has been made or when it is transphobic hurtful language and behaviour and how to report and be safe. Sending you both thanks for sharing your experiences for my team to also use as part of our discussions to support our young people to thrive ❤
10:18 ... The pain in Liam' eyes. When your helpless to protect the one you love most :(
Hey Alexis i'm a 50 yr old trans woman. Thank you for having our backs. These kids nowadays are out of control. Great video and cya next time.
I work in customer service and frequently say "yes, sir" or "yes, ma'am" or "no, sir" or "no, ma'am" and as embarrassing as it is, when you have 3 or 4 of one sex in a row, I can slip up and mis-gender someone... but it's a slip of the tongue not a deliberate misgendering and now I totally freak out when it happens, because people are so easily offended, what if they think I did it deliberately? It makes everything so much more stressful!! Also, Alexis, I don't think you overreacted at being outed at work.... not only did someone deliberately break a confidence, they did it in an environment that they probably knew would become toxic. That's incredibly hurtful, so you're being upset is completely understandable.
This!
I work in retail, and I had to retrain myself to omit the sir, madam. It is not easy when you have a lifetime of using it, as well, having been brought up that it was respectful to use it. I also worry about having an unintentional slip-up. One customer complained about me to customer service because I said can I help you sir. They asked me not to call them sir because they were non-binary. I apologised and then made a point of not using any pronoun, but that wasn't enough. I had never seen them before. Now, they come to the store and hand over a piece of paper saying, "Don't call me sir, I am non-binary."
@@laurence-tw7sudumb stuff like this is exactly the reason why I would never work another customer service job. How exactly are you supposed to tell that someone is non binary?
@@melbaraboo Exactly!!! They don't live in the real world.... If they're going to be offended by the wrong pronoun, they need to wear a pin that says "non-binary". Also, to Laurence's point, even when you apologize and make an effort, it's not enough sometimes.
@@laurence-tw7su I should try to do the same thing, but just saying "no" or "yes" seems so abrupt and cold
You two are just SO sensible!! You’re fair, honest, and (for real) I just love watching your videos. The podcasts and only Alexis videos.
I have a love/hate relationship with social media. Love because it keeps me connected to my family, gives me perspectives in other people’s situations, and (of course) keeps me connected to my favourite content creators (eg. you 🥰) BUT I hate it because it’s created these little “15 min of famers” who just want to find injustice in LITERALLY everything, create a new pronoun for a click, or make a fool of themselves to go viral. Having you both on CZcams is a breath of fresh air. I can’t wait for the next one. ❤️
Debate is good and no progress is made with out speaking out . However the constant victimhood is very hard to take. Those of us who grew up and observed the bravery of gay ,lesbian and trans people as they made their way in life and stuck up for who they are can find it difficult to listen to the issues of those who think they are so badly done to who seem to have things much better. You two are brillant at fairly thinking about issues with respect to all. Thanks.
Great Chanel, straight 58 bloke from North Uk who has a Trans Nephew and finds this incredibly interesting listening to your experiences, thanks for your positive energy and truths, best of luck with your channel, cheers folks
Mardi's video rings true. Back in 1989 I had a trans friend. She'd grown up in care and had been SA'd. I met her when she was working the streets around Piccadilly (pre transition). She had mental health issues and for many years I was her only friend. Eventually she became paranoid schizophrenic and social services institutionalised her for her own (and others) safety. I didn't have any contact with her since then so have no idea what happened after that.
As a teacher, I’d say that many young people have not learnt how to regulate their emotions. They were sent off to therapy from a young age and told every emotion should be vocalised. Social media is platforming the melt downs and gaining so many views that others are encouraged to do the same.
I also wonder if they are transitioning they are going to be dealing with hormonal swings, too?
I am one of those stoner people that calls everybody dude. I am sick and tired of getting yelled at by people because I called them a dude. I’m not calling you a dude because you’re a dude. I just call everybody dude. I am not trying to do it on purpose. I know that certain people are just mean and do things out of spite. But thinking everyone is doing that and is like that. That has to be a hard way to live. That’s like living in constant fear. So sad.
I'm 10 years older than Alexis and grew up in the American Midwest in the midst of the AIDS crisis. Is the younger generation sensitive about things I had no time or energy to even consider? Yes, and that's exactly what I fought for. I, for one, am happy the younger generation can worry about their pronouns instead of getting gang-stomped on a daily basis.
I also find it amusing how Alexis bemoans a lack of respect for the battles fought by our elders and transcestors but doesn't know our history - certainly not here in the States.
Rest assured, you'll never see me cry on social media because sensitivity was beaten out of me from a very early age. I don't think that's a good thing, but I do take pride in being of the "bash back" generation.
Yes! I'm around the same age and grew up in Indiana and I don't understand why it's not something to be proud of that our fight and those that fought before us means that this generation is privileged enough to get upset about pronouns. Look how far we have come. My only criticism is that I wish Gen Z were more aware of the ongoing fight for LGBTQIA rights in the rest of the world.
@rule_brittania2142 if it's possible to agree with anyone more than 100%, that's how I'm feeling about your comment 💖
I can’t believe it’s already been a whole year since I first started following your journey! I love watching you both flourish and share your candid experiences. I learn so much from your videos. Thank you for your authenticity and sharing so many different perspectives. I’m proud to be a fan!❤
I just like catching people off guard by saying I'm non-binary but don't understand neo-pronouns. Like I use they/them because I feel very dysphoric as a man and woman, but I don't get cloud/bunny/twinkle/little/star. That's when they lose me. If I get accidentally misgendered once I'm not like "HOW DARE YOU DEHUMANIZE ME I AM A PROUD HUMAN BEING AND YOU ARE A RACIST" Like girl... don't give them that much energy with a reaction, and it trivializes the fact that people are still genuinely at risk because of their identity today
You are part of the solution, a massive part. What you have gone through and shared is something that everyone and anyone can relate too. Xx❤❤
Yes. That’s what it was like. We were often jeered at, shouted disgusting by members of the public during pride marches. Trans women were a small group in Manchester and there was no such thing as a trans person with a job. Trans people were alone, apart from each other and gays and lesbians and bisexuals. All gay people were under constant threat of violence, possibly death and the police supported that behaviour and would not act to help. I witnessed all these things.
You two are lovely together and the discussion between you both works really well ❤
i love unwinding after a stressful day by watching your videos!
you are right and looking back its very interesting to see that all of these advancements have happened in relatively recent history whether it be civil rights, womens rights, gay and trans rights. there is still work to be done but looking back its important to appreciate where we are now and how privelidged we are in this country.
Y'all make me sick! Y'all are so happy together and both good looking people. Why can't I have that?!😂😂😂 I'm kidding, I love both of you and you're both awesome! I'm happy that y'all have found one another and I can tell it's not a put-on relationship. Keep doing the great work y'all are!❤💋🫂 Oh yeah, and it also helps that Liam looks like a tattooed version of Dexter 🤣🤣🤣
It's about stoicism , all those easily offended , screaming people have serious anger issues
Love this podcast. Not really belittling people's suffering, just making sure your view of the situation is balanced and that you keep your own problems in perspective. This is a healthy way to cope with life's inevitable bumps.
Millennial lgbt have been almost as privileged as gen z our entire adult lives but having spent our childhoods in the 80s & 90s we at least have some memory of the AIDS epidemic and a generally more hostile world. And because the internet was in its infancy back then a lot of us had to come to terms with our sexuality or gender dysphoria in isolation, just like previous generations. It's sad that kids today have all these amazing resources to connect to other people like them and they just end up brainwashed into seeing themselves as perpetual victims.
My best friends (adopted family,) was part of the first pride Birmingham. I live as a confident open lesbian and they started the ground work. Love you Chris and Jean x x
I absolutely love the show pose!! It made me see how hard it was for all LGBT community!! I’m 64and times were so different when I was growing up!! I hope these type of shows show how much the LGBT community have been through!! I think unfortunately the videos we see are aggressive and are intimidating to everyone!! I love you two and I support you two!! You have made me realize that there are people who may be different from me but are the same in soooo many ways!! Love you!! Would love to meet you someday!! Sending love to you both!!🥰🥰🥰🥰
Going through hard times builds resilience. But what would we rather have, people living with trauma who are resilient or people without trauma and resilience 🤷🏻♀️
You guys are adorable together… You both make me laugh in every episode of the show too 😊❤
I've been called the wrong gender mostly over the phone. Even with a feminine name. There's no hate filled inflection. I have a deep voice, it comes with it. To cry about that is so self-involved & self-centered. The infection is what matters. That's the barrier. These younger people freak over a simple mistake that no harm was meant. These are cultivated personality disorders & leads nowhere good.
Fun fact for Alexis: it’s called ordinal counting when you say, “This is my third year of transitioning.” It’s called cardinal counting when you say, “It has been 2 years since I started transitioning.” And yes, I’m a nerd. 😂💜
Some of us older folks go through life looking at things as opportunities to build.
Others, even among us elders, go through life as if life is something to be endured.
spot on
Italian family Sunday dinner is a delicious sauce with meatballs or bracciole, over pasta or gnocchi or ravioli, a lovely salad, chicken cutlets a la Milanese, or eggplant or chicken parmigiana, seafood salad, fresh Italian bread or focaccia, fruits, cheeses and finally tiramisu or biscotti or a pastry and espresso!!! Yayyyy!!
Sign me up!! That sounds yummy ❤️
17:45 He was actually the first openly gay politician in the US. If you haven't seen the movie with Sean Penn, I definitely suggest to check it out! It's called *Milk.*
The problem isn't even getting offended. People were offensive pre-trans ideology, but what could you do about it? As long as no one was beating you or preventing you from earning livelihood, they didn't have to like you or even be kind to you. Tolerating you was enough for society to get along, we didn't all have to be friends, we didn't all have to agree on everything. The point was, if an enemy force invaded, would you bear arms with your neighbours to protect the community as a whole? 20 years ago, I think the answer was "Yes." Now, I think there are probably even liberal people who act morally superior, who would see a conservative getting beaten to death and just walk away, thinking they got what they deserved.
That is inhumane. That is uncivilized. That is selfish, anti-community, and anti-society. We don't just kill murderers and rapists anymore, we commit them or imprison them for others' safety, but we also maintain a level of humanity ourselves. But I think the young trans community is actually pro-violence toward people who don't agree with their way of life. There's nothing morally correct about that. You can be offended, you can be upset and sad that someone doesn't like you, it's fair to feel that way. But your feelings and your behaviour are separate. It's not fair to behave immorally or support harming other people just because you *feel* like they might be willing do the same to you in a hypothetical. And it's certainly not wise to go to the internet to complain about the sort of things 99% of all human history have had to deal with, because you'll either get positive attention from other mentally unstable individuals, or negative attention from people who wish you would learn to self regulate your emotions like the rest of us, and neither of those kinds of attention are actually going to help you become a better person. Learn to self-regulate, schedule a few therapy sessions, or go camping for like a week without your electronics. Your life and the lives of your loved ones would be better for it.
For the record, I'm not republican or democrat (or even American for that matter), but these are the observations I have made based on the behaviour I've seen.
there is no "pre trans-ideology". We've always been here. Just because it isn't social acceptable to kill us anymore doesn't mean we've just started to exist.
It wasn't an ideology before, it was a treatment for severe gender dysphoria. Not a lifestyle choice like a lot of young people proclaim these days. There are trans-identifying people today who aren't dysphoric, they just enjoy playing with gender expression as a vibe or mood and believe that allows them to qualify as queer or trans. It's sad but it's happening.
Hence the older gens getting perplexed. Here we are as a society, getting more tolerant on the whole but more often told that we are being hateful and bigoted and that everything we say (despite good intentions) is rude or mean or hateful. Even the more tolerant / kind/ progressive of us. To see language so twisted we feel we can't speak our native language because it suddenly belongs to a younger generation who are offended even if you ask what something means "because it's not a trans person's job to explain it to you."
I don’t care about working with someone or giving respectful customer service to someone as long as they don’t get offended every minute. ❤
As an individual who started to transition in 1995… I can tell you so many stories that would blow your mind… These young children today have no idea what it was like. It was a different time, but there was also a level of privacy, people do not have today because of the Internet.
I’m gen x mum and dad baby boomers my upbringing was get on with it no matter what it is.
As the generations have got further away trying to make a child’s life better has become not teaching children to deal with the hard realities of life.
Being offence seams nothing to my generation as we had to deal with in your face discrimination but I had the tools to deal with it.
But the younger generation have not been taught so how do we expect them to cope.
The internet is a wonderful tool but has been disastrous for some.
This entitled generation have no clue but we taught them to be like that.
How do we solve it I don’t know
Love the both of you together
Alexis that mustard top is beautiful on you.
Sadly, the people who need to watch this probably won’t see it.
In the 80’s on Oxford st Darlinghurst Sydney ( Australia) it was THE place to go when LGBT . On the weekends groups of f$&&witts would come to gay bash. The police would do nothing.
So many of my friends were kicked out of home for being gay.
I’m so glad that things have changed. Unfortunately not everyone realises how lucky they are now.
Great show today- like always❤
You can’t force acceptance on everyone, this LGBT culture is mostly Western. I recently had an (unpleasant) interaction with someone in the comments section of a family vlog, a family on holiday in Turkey. This annoying person kept saying how unsafe Turkey is, that they should be cautious, etc….while I was trying to explain to him that Turkey as a family holiday destination is perfectly safe. His reply was “you’re telling me that I, as a gay man, could safely go there and hold hands with my bf?”. I mean dude, do you have to? Can’t you just walk on the street without holding hands? I’m sure it’s safe in tourist spots but do you have to make such a big deal of being gay in a muslim country? The more you force this on cultures and sovoeties that are more traditional, the more resistance you’ll encounter. Even in Western society in genetal, being too much in people’s faces will lower their tolerance and acceptance. It actually already did.
I agree that some of the (usually very young) outspoken ones on the internet are way too much, but I also want to acknowledge that I know and work with several NB and genderfluid folks who don't act like that at all! I am one of the elders at this point I guess, being 67 and coming out at 15-16 in 1972-3. I thank you both and am very appreciative that you recognize the history of our community and the contributions of those of us who came before you! You are also very correct that things were very difficult and different back then, especially for those of us who were out and political. I can appreciate that not having your identity honored can be hurtful but I don't see it as breakdown material myself. I do wonder if some of these folks are just putting on a show cuz they know it's going to get views/likes? Can they really be that super-sensitive and unable to cope?
I really love your content. I couldn't possibly begin to imagine what your journey has been like, I like that you have been open about your transition, as it helps someone like me, who is probably not in your social demographic understand change. I'm not gonna lie and say I totally understand, cos no one could, unless they've lived it, but every vlog or post you put out, helps someone like me understand and appreciate that you are a human being and living your life. One day you won't have to introduce yourself as a trans woman,(not you should have to) as that won't be relevant, because it seems to me, that you are, who you truly should be.
That's video, taught me how hidden that world was from me while growing up . What a brave woman she is .I wish I know people like her back then 😂.
Always enlightening. Thank you.
I think what your wee lady meant by getting £20 a week housekeeping, was that was what she got to run the house... Not for herself for cleaning the hoose.
When I got married back in 1982, I couldn't get credit to buy a sofa (despite my being the higher earner) without my husband signing for it.... Yet he could take out loans in my name without my being there to sign... This I found out when I eventually left and got chased for debt I had no idea about. Took me several years to clear it.
Great movie on Harvey Milk. Called Milk and starring Sean Penn I think.
My a standard bisexual that has never changed my name or pronouns and my dad still mispronounces my name. Sure it doesn’t feel great but it has never become my identity or oppression.
the way i see it, its all a matter of indiviudal resilience, the same water which softens the potatoe hardens the egg. I started off as the crybaby type at the slightest sign of transphobia, and after going through nearly two years of hell and finally starting HRT as of a month and a half ago now, the slightest sign of transphobia or trolling I just troll the trolls right back. however im not going to give my personal power away to the rumors, lies or silly names of some trolls hiding behind fake accounts.
lol my son had long very long blond hair growing up. He’d be called she a lot. One time a Somali immigrant was the school bus driver and made the girls sit in back and the boys in front. But Spence couldn’t care less cuz his besty Avery is a girl so he sat with her. Well okay one day a woman called my son a girl and I said ‘oh he’s a boy’ and she’s like well you should cut his hair! While she had very short hair……I just stared at her then said ‘and you?’🤷♀️
Lol. Good for you for calling her out!
My brother had long golden locks like me, so the grocers would say to my mom, "What lovely little girls you have!".😅
It wasn't until 1980 in Scotland and 1982 in Northern Ireland that homosexuality was decriminalised. Which is pretty shocking.
Hey Alexis and Liam!
I want to clarify that I never meant to dismiss your experiences or those of other genuine trans individuals. My perspective centers more about the importance of seeking professional guidance rather than solely relying on online platforms to vent about every slight encountered. While peer support can be valuable, therapists offer tools to build resilience, something many of us lacked access to previously.
Sometimes, seeking validation from peers can unintentionally perpetuate a victim mentality rather than promoting personal growth. Some peers may avoid doing the necessary introspective work, contributing to a toxic cycle of validation seeking. It's crucial for everyone in our community to pause and reflect on whether an issue truly requires attention or if it's better to let it slide and focus on building thicker skin.
While we can't control the actions of others, we hold the power to manage our own reactions. It's crucial to distinguish between genuine hate crimes and misunderstandings or misgendering incidents. Both deserve attention, but our response should be guided by perspective.
Before sharing our stories online, it's essential to do the internal work and prioritize healing. Let's showcase our resilience and strength to fellow members of the LGBTQ+ community instead of dwelling solely on victimhood and blaming heteronormative society for everything. By demonstrating our tenacity, we inspire others to navigate their challenges with courage.
Consider the impact on younger generations. What message would be more beneficial for them to see? Stories of overcoming adversity and emerging stronger, or narratives centered solely on pain? We hoped this new generation would be showing the next, the power of resilience and self-empowerment, where support and personal growth are prioritized over perpetuating cycles of victimhood.
Alexis and Liam I think you both demonstrate empathy while keeping a very open, yet grounded and reasonable perspective. So thank you to you both for your positive contributions to the LGBT community and calling out some of the nonsense going on today that is sending our community backwards again.
Hope you didn’t mind us using your comment for the podcast. We both thought it was a very interesting topic and by looking at these comments we were right!
Thank you for kind words honestly. We are a very open couple and I’m glad that comes across when we sit together and talk on here haha.
❤️
@@Alexis_blake00 I don't mind at all. That's what we are all here for right? :)
I can't recommend enough the film The Naked Civil Servant about Quentin Crisp 🙌 An incredible (true story!) of being homosexual in the mid to late 1900s in the UK. Very emotional watch though! 😢
Thanks for reminding us of how good we have it today compared to how bad it once was! 👏👍
You're one of my favorite CZcams couples! ♥♥
My nephew bless his heart was gay in the 1980's ,we all know he was within the family he was very flamboyant funny, kind, and very love. When he came out to his mum as a teenager. By law she was going to have him committed to a mental institution because he was under 21 and she insisted it was all in his head .I hated it and told her so , she screaming after me I hope when you have a son his gay , I shouted back if he was , it wouldn't bother me at all. And it dosent he is gay . I do worry about him and his boyfriend when they go away for weekends and hoildays . When I was at school in the 70/80s , being gay was a secret to be kept, unless it was very obvious. There was a lot of bullying to do being gay and teachers would turn a blind eye to it . When my daughter was at school in 00s it was yah such and such is gay no biggy. Her two twin best friends are gay and I love the girls. we have had some great nights out together over the years . 💓 Things have changed for the better but you still have to careful around certain religions or groups of people . I think British trans community is not as loud as some countries or in your face demanding changes. I'm 60 and I get confused about the pronoun thing and don't want to upset people ,so I call everyone darling just in case . Love you both , and nice ink Liam, and Alexis loving your top x❤
I was around during the aids epidemic and the gay community had to go really in hiding unless you came down with it. Back in the 70’s 80’s any gay relationships were frowned upon. If your partner was in the hospital facing death you were never allowed to see them for there last moments . Being a gay couple WAS never recognized. I don’t know how many people that were gay were beaten up or killed. I can go on , at all the horrible things done to gay and being transgender and it was found out you were transgender it was an instant death sentence. Believe living through all of this it is much more acceptable to be gay,transgender, nonbinary. I feel with all the protests and deaths for the cause it would’ve been still hidden. Most of my adult life I always had gay friends and I live with a gay man. That being gay to me is the same as me being straight. I’m from USA and I’m afraid the rights that have been fought for are going to be taken away.
Starter. Beautiful fresh pasta, let's say lasagna but unlike any you've ever had in the UK.
Main course: Roulé of beef stuffed with capers, anchovy, and perhaps some soft cheese in a fresh tomato sauce. Served with griddled courgettes and aubergine.
Fruit: Exquisite peaches like you can't even imagine. Watermelon so juicy and sweet it's like heaven.
Dessert: A tray of fresh 'paste'(pastries). So exquisite. Choux pastry, milles feuilles with fresh creme pat. Exquisite fruit tarts with the fruit glazed in fresh apricot jam on a bed of creme pat.
I want! 😭
I agree with you 100%. This is an important episode.
When I lived on the South Coast, a couple of years ago, my local Co-op employed a newly trans woman who was older (50ish). Her wig was not good, the nails were beautiful, the make up was.....overly applied. I respected her choice and called her by her chosen name. She was so grateful as she was often misgendered.
I hope she's doing well. Wished I'd kept in touch with her.
Aww !!! You two are so cute 🥰 been binging your two debates such honestly love it
I love your podcast, the format, and the topics!
I'm trans but don't present so I get misgendered all the time and I don't give a rat's tail about it. The doctors office knows and they misgender me all the time, it hurts but I don't correct them but thank everyone that respects me enough to gender me correctly. My loved ones sometimes make the mistake and apologize right away, my response is a hug and reassure them it's okay. Getting offended and making such a big deal about it seems like it is hurting the trans community in the eyes of the wider public. My friends ask me questions all the time and I am happy to answer them without feeling the need to call them transphobic for their genuine desire to understand. This is where the tiktoks are hurting our need for acceptance in society and giving fuel to the haters out there, at least in my opinion.
I love listening to y’all, you are both so chill
Love you both. You provide a such a thoughtful and intelligent perspective. 💕 Liam really knows gay history. Harvey Milk was hero to many, me included. If you haven't, watch The Times of Harvey Milk. A great documentary film.
Hi Alexis and Liam. Y'all are an adorable couple. Very classy and beautiful. It's very refreshing to see some people still being classy and chivalrous. It's definitely a rarity. Much love to you both. ❤❤
You two are an amazing couple and this was such an important conversation to have.
I think the biggest problem with the younger LGBTQ community is the believe being offended is the worse possible thing that can happen to them. I mean, let's hope that's the worst thing that can happen to someone, but that's why it's SO important to know and understand history so you can put it all into perspective and realize how good things actually are and recognize the suffering and hard work of those that came before to truly appreciate what they have. I think that's why this newer generation is SO insufferable, they don't even give a second thought to the fact that things could be SO much worse. They are SO reactive in the moment in their entitlement and have no appreciation for those that came before, and it's rather insulting how "bratty" they can be about what, in retrospective, are such mundane and insignificant things. Everyone has the right to their feelings, and the right to voice frustration, but seriously, put it in perspective and maybe do a bit of self-reflection before airing out your crazy on the internet. Like you both said, do your research to truly get some perspective.
Lol Alexis I get it. I get really excited and have to blurt my ideas right away or I'll get dirstracted and forget haha
The typical Italian Sunday dinner is Ragu, where the sauce has been simmering for hours
We have flipped in the wrong direction. I remember a very famous Australian trans women Carlotta, I watched a documentary about her, she transitioned and had sex reassignment surgery in 1971, now this lady was put through hell! I am over the current situation, we need to find a happy medium where we all respect each other. I am more than happy to call someone a she if you can clearly see they are transitioning. But there are so many men doing it for clout it makes me sick. Off topic I live with mental illness and watching someone have a meltdown because someone misgendered infuriates me!
“Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.”
Your hair looks beautiful Alexis! Such a lovely colour and so so shiny
The only time I'm upset about being misgendered is, when I do it to myself. I live a great life today, thanks to the struggles of those before me. Omg, so lucky to be able to have a great job at Sephora. Love your videos, peace Sheila
Huge difference between being accidentally misgendered and being deliberately outed.
The former group need to get a grip. If that's the worst thing that happens to them, they have a pretty idyllic life.
Yeah, being outed is NOT cool. Regardless if you "outed yourself" on social media, it's not THEIR place to out you at work or in public! Not everyone is going to necessarily follow you on social media, and if you felt it was important enough for everyone to know, you would've done it yourself. If you hadn't, there was obviously good reason, and that's no one else's business or place but yours and yours alone! That was a very sh*tty thing for that person to have done, and I don't blame you one bit for being extremely upset about it! That's a whole different issue than being misgendered by accident.
Thank you for just saying it like it is. I’ve got so much respect for you.
I appreciate that ❤️
Several people have called my 16 year old son ma'am over the phone or at Sonic. He just laughs and goes with it like who cares
Ugh, Alexis. That was so foul of that person you confided in outting you amongst the entire company after you asked them not to!! I came out as a trans dude in 2010 and it was somewhat ok, but somewhat not. I recall that the LITERAL HR MANAGER came over to me at my desk and whispered in my ear, "Do you still get a period?" I was like "No..." But I should have been like, "Are you actually the HR manager?? Also, who is above you?? Because I would like to talk to them!!"
as someone born 1974 grew up wit elton john being married but fab and people openly judged others which was NEVER OK btw
i have ALWAYS prefer to judge people on actions and authenticity i had dating a guy i 90's that i know now was bi ....he never came out to his friends until he they found out after he passed.... he identified as a @personality@ not a sexuality which i loved and embraced he would be shattered now after gays FINALLY got to marry the person THEY CHOSE TO LOVE LOVE WINS
i also was a member of F>L>A>G an alliance group of people that didnt identify as queer but supported people that did... by attending pride parades which now id never attend its out of control...
I'm a millennial, from Queensland Australia. Being Gay was illegal when I was child and gender expression was amended in anti-discrimination laws when I was a adult.
I thought Aus decriminalised homosexuality in '96. I remember being surprised that it wasn't done earlier when it happened. I think Tassie was way behind the mainland.
@@elenawilliams32 it was only decriminalised because of a treaty, Australia had meet the legal obligations. Even in 95, there was a big pushback on the first showing of Mardi Gras. On the Federal level, the decriminalisation may never have happened, the Howard government weren't going to do it.
@@simonwinn8757 I remember... A gay friend of mine was a teacher at a Catholic school... He lived in fear of being outed. I remember gay men dying of AIDS and their families telling people they died of cancer. I'm happy those days are behind us. I'm glad scomo is gone too as he held some very concerning ideas and behaviours. Take care mate.
Actually transwomen weren’t the first at Stonewall. That’s a persistent fallacy. Marsha P Johnson has stated this more than once.
Over 50 years later people still argue about who threw the first brick and what not - but if you can point me via a link that finally lays this to rest then I would appreciate it X
And Liam is so sweet. I am happy for both of you ❤️
Sorry I wouldn't call them soft, they are weak minded to be offended over being misgendered. I have a deep voice and get called Sir all the time on the phone. Do I cry about it or make the person feel bad? No I don't. We laugh about it when I have to say I am a 55 year old married women who just partied too hard in my youth!😊 They need to learn how to build a bridge and get TF over it!!!
You both are amazing. I agree with everything you said ❤