This vlog is a mess, and all over the place. I'm just messing with my new camera and learning new editing software, all while basically re-creating my creative routine from scratch. Bear with me.
Don't worry, it looked just fine. It was kind of like catching up with you, which was the best part. Love the bookish video idea. Your reviews of magical books are quite good, and it would be a good extension of the concept.
Here I am, settling in for the night to watch this vlog and then my face pops up in the background 😂😂😂 Thank you for that jumpscare 💀 But on a more serious note: I'm so happy for you dude. Mini ego deaths are always a weird thing to experience but you're onto the next chapter!
Olivos, I have been 18:20 for the last 2.5 months and on the way home. I can relate to the feeling of "trying to remember a dream" . I have been impressed with your approach to sharing your craft and experiences and I appreciate your honesty and introspective nature. "May your God's (and Goddesses) treat you as you would treat them." 😊❤
I’m an old witch. One thing that we are not told is that even good change is hard. One expects bad change to be hard, but good change should be easy, right? Nope. Change is hard. And worth it. You’ve got this. Life is a Spirograph. It loops and swerves and changes direction and when you have come full circle, you have a beautiful image. Be well, young lady. And thank you for several hours of entertaining connection from an old solitary in the wilderness of Canada 🍁.
I would like to say, as someone who grew up In an unstable (and in simple terms very poor) household. I now run a farm and it's VERY hard to be able to settle and feel at home. I still on days feel like I'm almost "renting my life" like it doesn't belong to me. It takes time I've been handling it for 3 years and its still a gradient of good and bad days. Sorry for the rant! Very very relatable video!!! ❤ (Your situation is obviously different in ways as we all are different, speaking of my lifeview)
While I don’t want anyone to feel that way, it does feel nice to know how many people relate to my rant. Thank you for sharing, and I’m glad you have a home you can take your time settling into🫀
i don't think that this was all over the place at all, actually quite the opposite: this was one of the most transparent and vulnerable videos you've posted. i've been quite of a ghost follower for some years now, so i'm pretty confident in saying that. thank you! i also loved how Ivy popped up discreetly hahah
I'm in my forties and have been trying to figure out who I am for a long time. Just in the last month I'm finally embracing the witch that I am. Learning, searching, I found you here. And I'm recognizing myself. Thanks for sharing.
Super interested in bookish videos as an avid booktube follower! :) Also I can relate the the ego death part, it's actually super scary when your life starts going right and there's no fires to put out. Creeped me out for a while, and then shit hit the fan again haha.
Your mini rant felt really good. People looked at me weird when I said the last decade was overall a solid 4/10 for me. Honestly for me personally life keeps getting better. Finally. So when someone asks if I would go back to my child/teenself too. I can just shake my head. Going forward is so precious. Life is getting better. Life is getting more beautiful with each day 🖤
From 6:40 to 16:35 I just related a lot to your entire little monologue there. A lot has changed for me in the last few years. And I can see it either coming to a great conclusion or a great disaster in the next few months. And it just feels like you put into words what I've been fearing for the past two months. What if all this magick that I've been learning and practicing for the last three year's actually works? What happens if I actually get more than I even thought was possible? It's a lot to process... And it just feels like someone is out there manuvering events so that I can just crash harder than I ever did before. Anyway, thanks for putting into words the fears that I have had for a while now. Love your content and I hope I can make it to your next meetup or pole dancing show. 👍👍
I'm in the greater Denver area and would love to force myself to get out of the house for a "witchy" meet up for beginner witches or the showcase! Although, it might be like hanging out with your mom since I'm considerably older! 😂
No video you release is EVER "garbage to look at". Thank you for sharing your difficulties. I have been experiencing a similarly odd period where I have many opportunities before me, but having a hard time experiencing joy. I sense trauma is at the root of this, but not finding the exact link, or how to get out of this odd place. But I have hope. I know I will get there. I know you will, too!
Dude, the inherent introspection that comes with basically every planet around us doing their own introspection through retrograde is wild and deep and weird. But so good, man. And it takes time for our perception to catch up with new realities. The human concept lags behind the linear time that we experience. You are doing beautifully and I'm so excited for you! 🖤
Everything you've said... I've felt that! Went through a very tough year with my boyfriend, with many tears, lots of money lost, filled with so much depression. Now that we have moved on, moved to a beautiful forest house, which is exactly what we were dreaming of, I find it really hard to fully settle in. I love the house so much, but it doesn't feel like we live here. Yet. I had so many plans for the summer in the new location, but for the most part, I'm just exhausted and want to sleep. I'm very hopeful that things will slow down over winter and that we will adapt to the new environment and the tranquility.
We used to have a Duck Race here and it was a lot of fun, especially for the kids. I'm not sure why it was stopped. In regards to your Brain Dump, it feels an honour that you bare your soul like this, Olivia. I, too, have felt out of sorts for several years. Oddly emotional from this normally stoic man. My professional life has continued to get better, my sons are both doing great, my home life has slowly improved as I deal with the heartbreaking loss of my wife. I know I should be happier but something is off. Maybe it's a questioning, from a long life of so much stress and hardships, as to whether I really deserve this. My saving grace has been my time spent in the forests, the mountains and beside the ocean. I only say this so you know you're not alone. I wish you only happiness and the magic life can bring, my friend. Blessed Be. Oh, and an ex-bandmate has spirits in her garden, too. She plays her fiddle for them and they love the music. She's just not allowed to trim the hedges as she had a very stern warning from them the first time she tried. ☺
So happy for your world looking up. ❤ You've worked hard for it. Ive lived in my house 3 years now and only know one of my neighbors. They introduced themselves, my husband and i religiously avoid people 😅 Love your jewelry photoshoot idea, gives me ideas for my own jewelry products.
Your friends are so precious! I agree with your therapist- perhaps after experiencing your personal deaths for so long in one way you learned not to trust when the good happens. That kinda reminds me of the way I handle things that are too good in my own life- I distrust it as a defense mechanism just in case something bad does happen or it doesn't last long. It's hard to fully grasp and accept good things in life when they finally happen after years of negative happenings. I'm happy that your life is finally where you wanted it to be. Now I have to go find that for myself too!
I know you said we wouldn't understand the brain dump but man that hit home lol Thank you for sharing. I've spent many years in "survival mode" and once you find that better version it's uncomfortable to not be in survival mode anymore. I hope you find your sweet spot with where you are now🤗
As a Death Walker as well I both Celebrate Hekate Trivia in mid August to focus that energy every year. And when I rebirth I usually listen to Lou Reeds "Magic and Loss" to deal with all the layers of Rebirth,
I'm happy for you that you're living such a good life right now! I can understand where you are coming from on your rant. I had a traumatic childhood, and when you get so used to things being unstable in love, home or finances, when things actually start working out for the better it's hard to accept at first because it feels so foreign, especially when family members or friends in the past have made statements that such a happy life is somehow unattainable. Personally, my biggest fear is that if I try to embrace the abundance in my life the rug will get pulled out from under me so to speak, and that's where the panic comes from for me at least.
Don’t worry Olivia, you’ll get the swing of things soon. I totally understand about the many deaths, changes and everything else and it’s a lot but with all of that comes growth, strength and more intelligence of how things just workout. Anyhow, you’ll evolve during all this and it’ll be beautiful in the long run. 💜
You probably know this but I’ll put this down for someone who doesn’t: when traumatized, one will have a different fear/calm response. When fight or flight is constantly activated, the body gets used to that. It can panic from the lack of panicking(it gets used to having those hormones). Also, during a fear response, one eventually goes back to normal. A traumatized person may remain on guard and that can be tiring for the body. It can also mess with one’s memory because energy is taken away from the hippocampus to combat whatever “threat” there is. I’m still working on getting my body to understand it’s fine and be more present. I’ve always been the type that waits for the other shoe to drop. So I resonate with the idea that it’s nice to not have a painful tower moment 😅 Thank you for being you.
you're changing in that you have a stable home, putting down roots so it's at odds with your self image of a free spirit floating around. you have a house, a garden, can plant stuff.
My life is also on the up and up and it also is just sometimes hard to believe for me. I agree wholeheartedly about coasting through life for the last decade and a half at a solid 3 or 4 up until this point. After my grandma passed away, I went through a severe depression and just had no direction in my life. This all started when I was around 12-13 and I'm turning 30 next February. I feel down on myself sometimes for "not getting my sh*t together sooner" but I'm learning to be more gentle with myself and to celebrate even the smallest of victories each day.
"We are electric guests of the universe." Trying to find the balance between our physicality and our spirit are always challenging. What your body needs (possibly roots) and what your spirit desires (possibly traveling) can all cohabitate. You will figure this out Olivia, in many ways, you already have!
so happy to see another vlog uploaded! it was quite interesting and i loved your little talk in the middle, totally relate to feeling unsure of putting down roots in a single place as I've been moving so much these past few years and it's quite hard with the anxiety of it all. but it gets slowly better I'd like to think! ALSO i would love to see more book videos!! me and my sister binged all of the spellbook series! plus I love finding books through videos so I would enjoy it so much if you did post book videos!
I can relate so much to how you feel. I’ve pulled through a 12 year depression and it’s wonderful and intimidating to be creating a new version of myself that’s authentic to me
Hell yes to bookish videos!! I want to hear about these books 😂 I’ve also used to love fiction but have struggled to get back into it. I have been loving Neil Gaiman’s books though. He writes fiction and is a mythology expert and very obviously knowledgeable in folk magick. He wrote the Sandman series which now has a tv version on Netflix. He’s voiced a lot of his own books on audible, he has an amazing voice. But so far, it’s just his fictional books I’ve been able to get into. So I do hope you share your thoughts on this stack 😁
Olivia, you have no idea how perfectly timely the Brain dump part was. It is so hard to actually accept this "happy" state of life after so much struggle. Thank you so much for that! Also I always love seeing your friends in vlog videos, and also yes to any bookish videos. I tried switching from Premiere to DaVinci and failed miserably.
"I've never experienced a death where I didn't have to be tougher on the other side." I really feel this, I'm not quite there yet BUT I am feeling very Empress vibes with my life now, whereas for a long time there were lots of storms, rough seas--very tower energy. I'm in a good place now with most things (with the exception of hospital appointments)...I'm also a little freaked out about this new found peace. I'm happy for you with where you are in this new death. Fiction book I recommend: Lapvona by Ottessa Moshfegh. This author is not afraid of what people would call gross, disturbing--the 'shadow' side to humanity.
Omg I know exactly know how you feel. I’ve been happier than I ever have. It is so strange to me. I feel like it’s only going get better and it’s not gonna be easy for me to get used to. It’s only up from here. I love reading the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J.R. Ward.
The chat you had with yourself is something I’m dealing with this month too. I just moved out for the first time, away from my abusive family. One of the comments mentioned how they felt like they were “renting their life” and that makes perfect sense to me. I’ve lived in the same apartment for 15-17 years and moving felt like a vacation, like I’m renting this space and the life it’s allowing me to live. I’ve experienced the deaths that you mentioned, but I guess because my life feels rented right now, there’s no death happening? If that makes sense. Maybe once I settle in more and make more of a life for myself, make routines and make space for me to be myself freely and without being afraid to let the real me out, maybe then I’ll have a death too. Like a little Phoenix moment.
So good to see you there on CZcams ! I would love to know what kind of gifts you gave your neighbors. It would inspire me to connect with my community as well 😊
Hi 🙂. Hope you had a great start of the week. Looks like you had a great time at the Duck Derby. The purple dress suits you a lot that you wore. Thank you for talking about your perspective on starting a new chapter in life as it truly feels like a death of the person you could become. When I was 14 I was told that I can´t have children and when I was 38 I split up with my partner of 14 years. This August I have turned 40 and it feels like it´s open how my life is going to unfold. I hope you will have the capacity and calm to settle for and accept the good things in your life. Wishing you a great week 🙂x Stephanie
Your plant metaphor made so much sense. I think I'll start explaining to people that 3 months ago we were violently ripped out of the ground and have landed in a new spot a month ago. Sure the soil is really good here, and we were in terrible soil before. But when you rip something from bad ground and just drop it in good soil, that plant isn't blooming anytime soon. The vlog is a fun... if it's a mess, I'm too out of it to notice
Glad to see you're doing well love! I can imagine video-content being hard to make all the time, ideas, editing and getting all the shots. I want to give you the biggest thank you for the time you put into your videos! I'm not a content creator, but I will go out sometimes and have the intention to film/take photos to share with people, and I just plum forget because I'm just in the moment! It's nice to disconnect from the online world sometimes! Also, I don't know if you've read this one, but I highly recommend "Babel" by R.F. Kuang! I won't give any spoilers just in case, but I thoroughly enjoyed it! If you have read it or read it, I'd love to know what you think about it if you have the time! All the best ~
Duck derby sounds pretty cool. I saw a sketch a comedian did about rubber ducks I just can’t remember the name of the comedian, but I do remember laughing my butt off for the entirety of the sketch. I get reminded of it every time rubber ducks get mentioned.
I totally get where you're coming from with the positive transition weirdness. For about 15 years my life was constantly challenging and in the past year it's become... lovely? safe? delightful? I have no clue what to make of it.
I have been watching your CZcams channel since the beginning. I can relate to your video today about being unsettled when you're happy. I am 61 and I can tell you that this will come and go throughout your life probably. Life ebbs and flows and we're just along for the ride. I think when life is going well and we're happy it's hard to relate and to accept it but for me, it's gotten easier in time. I do miss your videos and I'm not much of an Instagram person so I'm not following there very often. But I do enjoy it when you post and do you live in my home state which I miss so I enjoy seeing the outdoors of that as well. Enjoy the happiness you deserve it!
Ok so you described in 10min what I experiented last year and had so hard time to understand by myself 🫠 How to put the brain in « life » condition more than in « survival » condition. Took me months to figure out 🫠 Thank you do much for your words !!! Support from France 🇫🇷
hooo i feel you on the transplant thing. I hadn't heard about the 'death of a self' thing and I am really glad that you spoke about it. It is almost like an.. imposter-syndrome thing, to me. Like "wait no im not that stable person? how can that be me? how do i deserve this?" obviously we recognise our privileges RE home ownership, but it feels still feels.. alien? and yet feeling bad about it also makes me feel more guilty sending love, thank you for sharing your thoughts
Enjoy ur videos ur so down to earth and real. I can relate to ur surreal emotional confusion in were u have ended up. But that's what life is about we have to trust that life wil take us in the right direction and sometimes it's not what we expected. And every now n then u sit back and say woah what just happened but I like it 😊. In fact it can b scary and u kinda get caught up in the wind of it and then when it calms it's time to process and mourn all the things.
Would you please do a video on how to charge a piece of jewelry so that you can fade into the background when in company of others? I know you did a similar one 4 years ago but I need specific advice on charging for this purpose. I am an empath and am easily drained so need protection. Thanks so much!
I am so happy to hear that you're feeling happier! You couldn't have put it any better when you said you never experienced a death where you didn't have to be tougher on the other side. 🖤 That happened to me this past year and it's an incredible feeling! It feels like a breath of fresh air, honestly. I look forward to your next video. 😊
I am also processing through to a fresh chapter that is unnervingly positive at this time! Thanks for articulating so eloquently the idea that these personal deaths can be pleasant but still be uncomfortable or strange to negotiate! I am so used to them happening in the face of adversity or trouble, I had really been struggling with guilt that this version of me I am growing into will have an easier ride. Thanks for helping me to recognise that this is ok...Now I can try not to be anxious anticipating the "cost" of this change being a happy one.
Hi there. I am an active viewer on your channel and absolutely love it. I've reached out to my other witchy youtubers as well with this content and questions I am about to ask. If you don't mind me asking. I am Cara, I am a solitary elemental eclectic witch, and have been practicing for almost 20 years. Recently, I mean this past spring I have had a what I call a "witchy brain fart". But now I have had some interesting occurances happening. I have a few questions on fae folk, for sometime now I have been leaning in working with fae folk, but always was afraid. In the past month, I have bought a small offering bowl, and since then I left some trinkets in there. The other day something took some of the offerings and left something in return . Something also stole my ring and returned it. Now I left out some beads and sparkly stuff, they took it and left 1 specific bead, a clay one. So I'm wondering, what do I do next? I left another offering tonight, amd have been doing research. I believe it is a brownie fae. Can you please if you have spare time help me with this? I've never worked with dieties and never got this far. What do I do now? I am going to try and establish some rules, but I don't want to insult it. Anyways, thank you for your time, any help is appreciated.
Change is always scary. It's okay that you panicked, you didn't know what to expect or why this happened. You can be an air plant, you know that and we know that. But you don't need to be. I hope you can adapt and enjoy the nutrients you get. And if you need time to proces, to grow and to feel your roots again, that's totally okay. We'll be here, (quietly) enjoying you ramble😊 thank you for being so open with us. Blessed be! 😉
I grew up thinking I was going to be raptured before I reached adulthood, so to say that I feel weird being an adult now is an understatement. I never really thought I would have a house or a life partner or anything. Its great and my happiness is at like a 8/10 but boy oh boy does it hit weird some days
I am going through the same kind of changes, I am unable to believe where I am right now. Even though I’m not completely where I want to be, I’ve enjoyed the journey so damn much, that I don’t even notice? I’m working really hard and I have for years, and it feels like it is moments from all of it paying off. I am a bit freaked honestly 😂, trauma is a funny thing, but I am not as scared as I’ve been, and I’m just mind blown that I have nice forest soil to grow in. I can’t wait to see what is in store 😊 for both of us.
Yes, book reviews would be great. This Grannie loves to read. I am reading Braiding Sweetgrass right now by Robin Wall Kimmerer. Loving it. Also Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. The Witch’s Herbal Apothecary you might enjoy if you like Herbal Medicine like I do.
What a personal video! ❤ I've felt similarly before. Turns out I was just embracing my true adult life 😂 No need to validate your actions, no need to explain yourself, no pressure to act cool or something. Lovely to hear you're happy! ❤
Ooooh love the book suggestions, I'm going to look into them as well. Thanks Olivia! An author I'd really recommend for fiction / fantasy is Brandon Sanderson. Particularly the Mistborn series. I absolutely adore them and loved the use of magic, metals and immersive world (Cosmere Universe) he created. 🥰 He's done loads including the Stormlight Archive series (long ass books but epic), Reckoners and Skyward series to name a few, along with stand alone novels as well (Warbreaker is one of my absolute favourites). ❤️
I’m so on the fence about Haunting Adeline. It’s got a high rating on good reads, but I always read a couple 1 star reviews and they rocked me. It’s hard to rock me. I’ll read just about anything. Curious how this goes. Let us know
I'm sloooowly inching back to fiction after many years in academia (student + employee + student again... why?!) I find my way through YA fiction lol quick note, you (whoever reads this) should deff reach out to the local library if you want any item that they don't already have in their collection- witchy reads included! librarians love ordering materials for patrons- makes collection development a lot easier! :)
Fourth Wing is a very polarizing read for sure. I kinda fall into the category of I enjoyed the reading experience well enough, there were aspects of it that I appreciated, but I have a lot of criticisms of it for sure. I do remember enjoying Furyborn when I read it, but I haven't had a chance to continue with the series. I'm actually planning a video where I talk about books I want to either read by the end of this year or unhaul them and the sequel to Furyborn is on that list haha. I'm very interested to hear what you think of these books, would love to see some bookish content from you! ☺
This vlog is a mess, and all over the place. I'm just messing with my new camera and learning new editing software, all while basically re-creating my creative routine from scratch. Bear with me.
Thas cool
No worries, just looking forward to more magical content theeerree she goes, there she goes again
Can you write some spells and share them ?
Don't worry, it looked just fine. It was kind of like catching up with you, which was the best part.
Love the bookish video idea. Your reviews of magical books are quite good, and it would be a good extension of the concept.
It's the unknown that's difficult to process. Take care of yourself and I look forward to the next one ❤
"I've never experienced a death where I didn't have to be tougher on the other side." Man, I felt that.
Here I am, settling in for the night to watch this vlog and then my face pops up in the background 😂😂😂 Thank you for that jumpscare 💀
But on a more serious note: I'm so happy for you dude. Mini ego deaths are always a weird thing to experience but you're onto the next chapter!
Me popping up like 👹👹 HELLO IVY
I had to rewind! I said "was that Ivy in the background??" YES it was! Lol
@@Scrubbysmomma 😂
Sames, I love that you guys are friends. Sounds so random as I don't know either of you of course but adore you both so much ❤
Olivos, I have been 18:20 for the last 2.5 months and on the way home. I can relate to the feeling of "trying to remember a dream" .
I have been impressed with your approach to sharing your craft and experiences and I appreciate your honesty and introspective nature. "May your God's (and Goddesses) treat you as you would treat them." 😊❤
I'm so glad you're finding your happy place and have a great therapist to help you process through changes like this.
“A death where I don’t have to be tougher on the other side”…. I felt that.
I’m an old witch. One thing that we are not told is that even good change is hard. One expects bad change to be hard, but good change should be easy, right? Nope. Change is hard. And worth it. You’ve got this. Life is a Spirograph. It loops and swerves and changes direction and when you have come full circle, you have a beautiful image. Be well, young lady. And thank you for several hours of entertaining connection from an old solitary in the wilderness of Canada 🍁.
I would like to say, as someone who grew up In an unstable (and in simple terms very poor) household. I now run a farm and it's VERY hard to be able to settle and feel at home. I still on days feel like I'm almost "renting my life" like it doesn't belong to me. It takes time I've been handling it for 3 years and its still a gradient of good and bad days. Sorry for the rant! Very very relatable video!!! ❤ (Your situation is obviously different in ways as we all are different, speaking of my lifeview)
While I don’t want anyone to feel that way, it does feel nice to know how many people relate to my rant. Thank you for sharing, and I’m glad you have a home you can take your time settling into🫀
i don't think that this was all over the place at all, actually quite the opposite: this was one of the most transparent and vulnerable videos you've posted. i've been quite of a ghost follower for some years now, so i'm pretty confident in saying that. thank you!
i also loved how Ivy popped up discreetly hahah
I'm in my forties and have been trying to figure out who I am for a long time.
Just in the last month I'm finally embracing the witch that I am. Learning, searching, I found you here. And I'm recognizing myself.
Thanks for sharing.
Super interested in bookish videos as an avid booktube follower! :)
Also I can relate the the ego death part, it's actually super scary when your life starts going right and there's no fires to put out. Creeped me out for a while, and then shit hit the fan again haha.
Your mini rant felt really good. People looked at me weird when I said the last decade was overall a solid 4/10 for me. Honestly for me personally life keeps getting better. Finally.
So when someone asks if I would go back to my child/teenself too. I can just shake my head. Going forward is so precious. Life is getting better. Life is getting more beautiful with each day 🖤
From 6:40 to 16:35 I just related a lot to your entire little monologue there.
A lot has changed for me in the last few years. And I can see it either coming to a great conclusion or a great disaster in the next few months.
And it just feels like you put into words what I've been fearing for the past two months. What if all this magick that I've been learning and practicing for the last three year's actually works? What happens if I actually get more than I even thought was possible?
It's a lot to process... And it just feels like someone is out there manuvering events so that I can just crash harder than I ever did before.
Anyway, thanks for putting into words the fears that I have had for a while now. Love your content and I hope I can make it to your next meetup or pole dancing show. 👍👍
Here on this channel, we embrace the Death and Tower cards!
I'm in the greater Denver area and would love to force myself to get out of the house for a "witchy" meet up for beginner witches or the showcase! Although, it might be like hanging out with your mom since I'm considerably older! 😂
No video you release is EVER "garbage to look at". Thank you for sharing your difficulties. I have been experiencing a similarly odd period where I have many opportunities before me, but having a hard time experiencing joy. I sense trauma is at the root of this, but not finding the exact link, or how to get out of this odd place. But I have hope. I know I will get there. I know you will, too!
Thrilled to see another video! It means a lot to hear you open up. You’re definitely not alone ❤
The secret history of witches is amazing. Definitely a favorite of mine.
Dude, the inherent introspection that comes with basically every planet around us doing their own introspection through retrograde is wild and deep and weird. But so good, man. And it takes time for our perception to catch up with new realities. The human concept lags behind the linear time that we experience. You are doing beautifully and I'm so excited for you! 🖤
"The second August hit, it has just been *odd*"
Me, out loud: YEAH
The BTS Bathtub footage was so cool, don't sell yourself short on that Olivia 👍✨
Bookish videos definitely! Great video!
Everything you've said... I've felt that! Went through a very tough year with my boyfriend, with many tears, lots of money lost, filled with so much depression. Now that we have moved on, moved to a beautiful forest house, which is exactly what we were dreaming of, I find it really hard to fully settle in. I love the house so much, but it doesn't feel like we live here. Yet. I had so many plans for the summer in the new location, but for the most part, I'm just exhausted and want to sleep.
I'm very hopeful that things will slow down over winter and that we will adapt to the new environment and the tranquility.
We used to have a Duck Race here and it was a lot of fun, especially for the kids. I'm not sure why it was stopped.
In regards to your Brain Dump, it feels an honour that you bare your soul like this, Olivia. I, too, have felt out of sorts for several years. Oddly emotional from this normally stoic man. My professional life has continued to get better, my sons are both doing great, my home life has slowly improved as I deal with the heartbreaking loss of my wife. I know I should be happier but something is off. Maybe it's a questioning, from a long life of so much stress and hardships, as to whether I really deserve this. My saving grace has been my time spent in the forests, the mountains and beside the ocean. I only say this so you know you're not alone.
I wish you only happiness and the magic life can bring, my friend. Blessed Be.
Oh, and an ex-bandmate has spirits in her garden, too. She plays her fiddle for them and they love the music. She's just not allowed to trim the hedges as she had a very stern warning from them the first time she tried. ☺
1000% here for bookish content!
So happy for your world looking up. ❤ You've worked hard for it.
Ive lived in my house 3 years now and only know one of my neighbors. They introduced themselves, my husband and i religiously avoid people 😅
Love your jewelry photoshoot idea, gives me ideas for my own jewelry products.
So happy for you!
And yes to the bookish videos 😁💜
Your friends are so precious!
I agree with your therapist- perhaps after experiencing your personal deaths for so long in one way you learned not to trust when the good happens. That kinda reminds me of the way I handle things that are too good in my own life- I distrust it as a defense mechanism just in case something bad does happen or it doesn't last long. It's hard to fully grasp and accept good things in life when they finally happen after years of negative happenings. I'm happy that your life is finally where you wanted it to be. Now I have to go find that for myself too!
I know you said we wouldn't understand the brain dump but man that hit home lol Thank you for sharing. I've spent many years in "survival mode" and once you find that better version it's uncomfortable to not be in survival mode anymore. I hope you find your sweet spot with where you are now🤗
As a Death Walker as well I both Celebrate Hekate Trivia in mid August to focus that energy every year. And when I rebirth I usually listen to Lou Reeds "Magic and Loss" to deal with all the layers of Rebirth,
I'm happy for you that you're living such a good life right now! I can understand where you are coming from on your rant. I had a traumatic childhood, and when you get so used to things being unstable in love, home or finances, when things actually start working out for the better it's hard to accept at first because it feels so foreign, especially when family members or friends in the past have made statements that such a happy life is somehow unattainable. Personally, my biggest fear is that if I try to embrace the abundance in my life the rug will get pulled out from under me so to speak, and that's where the panic comes from for me at least.
So important to give yourself the permission to be happy.
Especially when it's an unfamiliar and scary feeling :)
“It doesn’t look cool with short hair” … excuse me but it definitely looks cool with short hair !!! 🤩 everything you create is enchanting Olivia 🥰💚
Don’t worry Olivia, you’ll get the swing of things soon. I totally understand about the many deaths, changes and everything else and it’s a lot but with all of that comes growth, strength and more intelligence of how things just workout. Anyhow, you’ll evolve during all this and it’ll be beautiful in the long run. 💜
I'd love to see bookish videos from you! And this vlog is wonderful. I've followed you for a few years and you look really and genuinely happy 🖤
You probably know this but I’ll put this down for someone who doesn’t: when traumatized, one will have a different fear/calm response. When fight or flight is constantly activated, the body gets used to that. It can panic from the lack of panicking(it gets used to having those hormones). Also, during a fear response, one eventually goes back to normal. A traumatized person may remain on guard and that can be tiring for the body. It can also mess with one’s memory because energy is taken away from the hippocampus to combat whatever “threat” there is.
I’m still working on getting my body to understand it’s fine and be more present. I’ve always been the type that waits for the other shoe to drop. So I resonate with the idea that it’s nice to not have a painful tower moment 😅
Thank you for being you.
you're changing in that you have a stable home, putting down roots so it's at odds with your self image of a free spirit floating around. you have a house, a garden, can plant stuff.
My life is also on the up and up and it also is just sometimes hard to believe for me. I agree wholeheartedly about coasting through life for the last decade and a half at a solid 3 or 4 up until this point. After my grandma passed away, I went through a severe depression and just had no direction in my life. This all started when I was around 12-13 and I'm turning 30 next February. I feel down on myself sometimes for "not getting my sh*t together sooner" but I'm learning to be more gentle with myself and to celebrate even the smallest of victories each day.
your adventures and the things you share always warm my spirit and I hope so much love and peace find you! 🌻💖
I am happy that you keep working and expressing yourself. Thank you ❤
"We are electric guests of the universe." Trying to find the balance between our physicality and our spirit are always challenging. What your body needs (possibly roots) and what your spirit desires (possibly traveling) can all cohabitate. You will figure this out Olivia, in many ways, you already have!
So happy for all that is slowly coming together for you! Also YES PLEASE to bookish vidoes!
Thank you so much for sharing this. ❤️ On another note I love when you upload a new video and it’s long enough for me to watch while I do dishes lol
Glad to hear things are going well for you in your life
so happy to see another vlog uploaded! it was quite interesting and i loved your little talk in the middle, totally relate to feeling unsure of putting down roots in a single place as I've been moving so much these past few years and it's quite hard with the anxiety of it all. but it gets slowly better I'd like to think! ALSO i would love to see more book videos!! me and my sister binged all of the spellbook series! plus I love finding books through videos so I would enjoy it so much if you did post book videos!
I’m so happy for you, Olivia! You’re living the life you deserve ❤️
I can relate so much to how you feel. I’ve pulled through a 12 year depression and it’s wonderful and intimidating to be creating a new version of myself that’s authentic to me
Hell yes to bookish videos!! I want to hear about these books 😂 I’ve also used to love fiction but have struggled to get back into it. I have been loving Neil Gaiman’s books though. He writes fiction and is a mythology expert and very obviously knowledgeable in folk magick. He wrote the Sandman series which now has a tv version on Netflix. He’s voiced a lot of his own books on audible, he has an amazing voice. But so far, it’s just his fictional books I’ve been able to get into. So I do hope you share your thoughts on this stack 😁
Olivia, you have no idea how perfectly timely the Brain dump part was. It is so hard to actually accept this "happy" state of life after so much struggle. Thank you so much for that!
Also I always love seeing your friends in vlog videos, and also yes to any bookish videos.
I tried switching from Premiere to DaVinci and failed miserably.
"I've never experienced a death where I didn't have to be tougher on the other side." I really feel this, I'm not quite there yet BUT I am feeling very Empress vibes with my life now, whereas for a long time there were lots of storms, rough seas--very tower energy. I'm in a good place now with most things (with the exception of hospital appointments)...I'm also a little freaked out about this new found peace.
I'm happy for you with where you are in this new death.
Fiction book I recommend: Lapvona by Ottessa Moshfegh. This author is not afraid of what people would call gross, disturbing--the 'shadow' side to humanity.
Your content is so comforting & inspiring for me 🦋🕷️ I need to join your patrion soon & stop rewatching your videos 🤣
Omg I know exactly know how you feel. I’ve been happier than I ever have. It is so strange to me. I feel like it’s only going get better and it’s not gonna be easy for me to get used to. It’s only up from here. I love reading the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J.R. Ward.
I love watching your journey, thank you for sharing 🫶🏻 I’m so happy for you!
The chat you had with yourself is something I’m dealing with this month too. I just moved out for the first time, away from my abusive family. One of the comments mentioned how they felt like they were “renting their life” and that makes perfect sense to me. I’ve lived in the same apartment for 15-17 years and moving felt like a vacation, like I’m renting this space and the life it’s allowing me to live. I’ve experienced the deaths that you mentioned, but I guess because my life feels rented right now, there’s no death happening? If that makes sense. Maybe once I settle in more and make more of a life for myself, make routines and make space for me to be myself freely and without being afraid to let the real me out, maybe then I’ll have a death too. Like a little Phoenix moment.
I missed your videos it was good to hear you are trying to settle in congratulations I can't wait to see the spell book videos
Such simple and wholesome shit you'all.. loved every moment of this. ❤
So good to see you there on CZcams ! I would love to know what kind of gifts you gave your neighbors. It would inspire me to connect with my community as well 😊
🤗 Good Work! Keep going, and the old quote: Today Is The First Day of The Rest Of Your Life..!👍🏾
Hi 🙂. Hope you had a great start of the week. Looks like you had a great time at the Duck Derby. The purple dress suits you a lot that you wore. Thank you for talking about your perspective on starting a new chapter in life as it truly feels like a death of the person you could become. When I was 14 I was told that I can´t have children and when I was 38 I split up with my partner of 14 years. This August I have turned 40 and it feels like it´s open how my life is going to unfold. I hope you will have the capacity and calm to settle for and accept the good things in your life. Wishing you a great week 🙂x Stephanie
Your plant metaphor made so much sense. I think I'll start explaining to people that 3 months ago we were violently ripped out of the ground and have landed in a new spot a month ago. Sure the soil is really good here, and we were in terrible soil before. But when you rip something from bad ground and just drop it in good soil, that plant isn't blooming anytime soon. The vlog is a fun... if it's a mess, I'm too out of it to notice
Glad to see you're doing well love!
I can imagine video-content being hard to make all the time, ideas, editing and getting all the shots. I want to give you the biggest thank you for the time you put into your videos!
I'm not a content creator, but I will go out sometimes and have the intention to film/take photos to share with people, and I just plum forget because I'm just in the moment! It's nice to disconnect from the online world sometimes!
Also, I don't know if you've read this one, but I highly recommend "Babel" by R.F. Kuang! I won't give any spoilers just in case, but I thoroughly enjoyed it! If you have read it or read it, I'd love to know what you think about it if you have the time! All the best ~
Duck derby sounds pretty cool. I saw a sketch a comedian did about rubber ducks I just can’t remember the name of the comedian, but I do remember laughing my butt off for the entirety of the sketch. I get reminded of it every time rubber ducks get mentioned.
I completely get where you are coming from.. As always, thanks for sharing and just being honest.
I totally get where you're coming from with the positive transition weirdness. For about 15 years my life was constantly challenging and in the past year it's become... lovely? safe? delightful? I have no clue what to make of it.
❤wow you guys had a wonderful time thanks for sharing
So glad life is good for you. You deserve it!
Thank you for sharing this video with us.
Book vids would be awesome 😎
The Norse Witch said call of the runes was great!
I have been watching your CZcams channel since the beginning. I can relate to your video today about being unsettled when you're happy. I am 61 and I can tell you that this will come and go throughout your life probably. Life ebbs and flows and we're just along for the ride. I think when life is going well and we're happy it's hard to relate and to accept it but for me, it's gotten easier in time. I do miss your videos and I'm not much of an Instagram person so I'm not following there very often. But I do enjoy it when you post and do you live in my home state which I miss so I enjoy seeing the outdoors of that as well. Enjoy the happiness you deserve it!
Ok so you described in 10min what I experiented last year and had so hard time to understand by myself 🫠
How to put the brain in « life » condition more than in « survival » condition. Took me months to figure out 🫠
Thank you do much for your words !!!
Support from France 🇫🇷
House of Night is a great fiction book series, with witchy/wicca vibes❤
Olivia truly feels like a tired mom in this one!
Have you seen my maniac village of friends? I AM a tired mom😂
hooo i feel you on the transplant thing. I hadn't heard about the 'death of a self' thing and I am really glad that you spoke about it.
It is almost like an.. imposter-syndrome thing, to me. Like "wait no im not that stable person? how can that be me? how do i deserve this?"
obviously we recognise our privileges RE home ownership, but it feels still feels.. alien? and yet feeling bad about it also makes me feel more guilty
sending love, thank you for sharing your thoughts
It's a beautiful day with a gorgeous person ❤
Enjoy ur videos ur so down to earth and real. I can relate to ur surreal emotional confusion in were u have ended up. But that's what life is about we have to trust that life wil take us in the right direction and sometimes it's not what we expected. And every now n then u sit back and say woah what just happened but I like it 😊. In fact it can b scary and u kinda get caught up in the wind of it and then when it calms it's time to process and mourn all the things.
Would you please do a video on how to charge a piece of jewelry so that you can fade into the background when in company of others? I know you did a similar one 4 years ago but I need specific advice on charging for this purpose. I am an empath and am easily drained so need protection. Thanks so much!
“No 🦆 left behind.” Love that !!!
Yes! Book videos!!
I am so happy to hear that you're feeling happier! You couldn't have put it any better when you said you never experienced a death where you didn't have to be tougher on the other side. 🖤 That happened to me this past year and it's an incredible feeling! It feels like a breath of fresh air, honestly. I look forward to your next video. 😊
I am also processing through to a fresh chapter that is unnervingly positive at this time! Thanks for articulating so eloquently the idea that these personal deaths can be pleasant but still be uncomfortable or strange to negotiate! I am so used to them happening in the face of adversity or trouble, I had really been struggling with guilt that this version of me I am growing into will have an easier ride. Thanks for helping me to recognise that this is ok...Now I can try not to be anxious anticipating the "cost" of this change being a happy one.
love you its always a pleasure watching your videos.
I'm currently reading Fourth Wing and so far I love it! :)
Hi there. I am an active viewer on your channel and absolutely love it. I've reached out to my other witchy youtubers as well with this content and questions I am about to ask. If you don't mind me asking.
I am Cara, I am a solitary elemental eclectic witch, and have been practicing for almost 20 years. Recently, I mean this past spring I have had a what I call a "witchy brain fart". But now I have had some interesting occurances happening. I have a few questions on fae folk, for sometime now I have been leaning in working with fae folk, but always was afraid. In the past month, I have bought a small offering bowl, and since then I left some trinkets in there. The other day something took some of the offerings and left something in return . Something also stole my ring and returned it. Now I left out some beads and sparkly stuff, they took it and left 1 specific bead, a clay one. So I'm wondering, what do I do next? I left another offering tonight, amd have been doing research. I believe it is a brownie fae. Can you please if you have spare time help me with this? I've never worked with dieties and never got this far. What do I do now? I am going to try and establish some rules, but I don't want to insult it. Anyways, thank you for your time, any help is appreciated.
Change is always scary. It's okay that you panicked, you didn't know what to expect or why this happened. You can be an air plant, you know that and we know that. But you don't need to be. I hope you can adapt and enjoy the nutrients you get. And if you need time to proces, to grow and to feel your roots again, that's totally okay. We'll be here, (quietly) enjoying you ramble😊 thank you for being so open with us. Blessed be! 😉
Glad to see you back ❤😊
I love the secret history of witches there’s a purple one too
I grew up thinking I was going to be raptured before I reached adulthood, so to say that I feel weird being an adult now is an understatement. I never really thought I would have a house or a life partner or anything. Its great and my happiness is at like a 8/10 but boy oh boy does it hit weird some days
I am going through the same kind of changes, I am unable to believe where I am right now. Even though I’m not completely where I want to be, I’ve enjoyed the journey so damn much, that I don’t even notice? I’m working really hard and I have for years, and it feels like it is moments from all of it paying off. I am a bit freaked honestly 😂, trauma is a funny thing, but I am not as scared as I’ve been, and I’m just mind blown that I have nice forest soil to grow in. I can’t wait to see what is in store 😊 for both of us.
Yes, book reviews would be great. This Grannie loves to read. I am reading Braiding Sweetgrass right now by Robin Wall Kimmerer. Loving it. Also Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. The Witch’s Herbal Apothecary you might enjoy if you like Herbal Medicine like I do.
What a personal video! ❤ I've felt similarly before. Turns out I was just embracing my true adult life 😂 No need to validate your actions, no need to explain yourself, no pressure to act cool or something. Lovely to hear you're happy! ❤
Ooooh love the book suggestions, I'm going to look into them as well. Thanks Olivia!
An author I'd really recommend for fiction / fantasy is Brandon Sanderson. Particularly the Mistborn series. I absolutely adore them and loved the use of magic, metals and immersive world (Cosmere Universe) he created. 🥰
He's done loads including the Stormlight Archive series (long ass books but epic), Reckoners and Skyward series to name a few, along with stand alone novels as well (Warbreaker is one of my absolute favourites). ❤️
I’m so on the fence about Haunting Adeline. It’s got a high rating on good reads, but I always read a couple 1 star reviews and they rocked me. It’s hard to rock me. I’ll read just about anything. Curious how this goes. Let us know
Blessed be keep the videos coming ❤️
We have this in our home town!! We call it the duck race!🤪🥳
the moment, I wished for some Olivia entertainment X.X always love seeing you and the way you see the world around you. Thanks for bringing us along
I love your vlogs, they're home-y and interesting and fun ❤ and I would LOVE book videos!
I was driving to work at the Life Care in Evergreen the weekend of that dam duck derby and it made me late 😂
I am so so so happy for you❤
I've been in my house for 1 year this week and it just started to feel like mine!
I'm sloooowly inching back to fiction after many years in academia (student + employee + student again... why?!) I find my way through YA fiction lol quick note, you (whoever reads this) should deff reach out to the local library if you want any item that they don't already have in their collection- witchy reads included! librarians love ordering materials for patrons- makes collection development a lot easier! :)
Fourth Wing is a very polarizing read for sure. I kinda fall into the category of I enjoyed the reading experience well enough, there were aspects of it that I appreciated, but I have a lot of criticisms of it for sure. I do remember enjoying Furyborn when I read it, but I haven't had a chance to continue with the series. I'm actually planning a video where I talk about books I want to either read by the end of this year or unhaul them and the sequel to Furyborn is on that list haha. I'm very interested to hear what you think of these books, would love to see some bookish content from you! ☺
Ps, in regards to damn good fiction, Brandon Sanderson is an absolute gold mine. ✨
We do that too here in Richmond