"Life in captivity? That's quite lenient. There's been monkeys treated worse for less." "Ones that haven't even killed anyone!" *war-like Harambe flashbacks begin*
Clearly that was the first trial of throwing kids who don't do their homework to the monkeys, but it went horribly wrong when they realised it was actually a gorilla.
Last week i said "he looks more and more like a soy Hobo every week" and i was right, lewis really is one day living in simons garden like an 18th century house hermit.
If I weren't allergic to cats I'd consider it a good thing, though it's a bit weird to have your cat in a posed profile picture. A guy being caring, responsible and loving enough to have a beloved pet (cat) is a fair indicator for him being decent in a relationship
It’s so good to see Lewis and Simon getting on like this. I know they’ve never really been on bad terms, but I’m glad we’ve been able to get a peek back into the best friendship from the old Yogs days. Love you guys
My grandad had a duck fly into his backyard and it just sort of stayed there for a year or so. He fed it bread and grains which i guess is why i found it dead under his lime tree because lo and behold ducks dont eat processed grains. Thank the lord though iv never seen something produce such an immense amount of shit in such a short time.
14:15 It’s not often I get proper laughs that make my abs hurt and my eyes water. But these two always have something. And the tourist part is just... flawless
Uncut Peculiar Portions! I think I'm going to cry with happiness! The YogPod made my early teens and I couldn't get into Triforce no matter how hard I tried. So happy!
On the topic of crazed murder monkeys, if you aren't too bothered by horrific situations, listen to the recording of a woman who called the police to report that her pet chimp had ripped the face off her best friend. It's incredibly chilling and frankly, quite bizarre. Amazing what you can find on CZcams.
Showing my age but when they were talking about how the sex club member have "safe" sex the scene in the first Naked Gun movie immediately came to mind.
I love how the dynamic over the years has become "Simon can't keep up with Lewis" rather than the other way around.
Tha "plastic sheet" conversation gave me strong flashbacks to the "partially inflated balloon" conversation from days gone by
The uncut version is the closest thing we’ve gotten to the YogPod in years and that’s the best news of this year
I love it when it’s uncut! ;)
Hooray for uncut PP!
Agreed this is the best CZcams series I've seen in a while
@@kane2742 uncircumcised.
There's an uncut version? Where? O:
"I've been bitten by a monkey!"
"Whereabouts?"
"On my dangus."
"No whereabouts in India!"
Seriously that was an amazing joke that happened on complete accident.
It's been a week and I can't stop laughing
"They've doxxed the monkey" tickled me a lot more than it should've
You're meant to call an agency for that i think... Monkey tickling agency or something
“A gun isn’t a pet though...”
Maybe not in the UK, Mr. Lane....
Lewis:you know those plastic sheets in super markets
Simon: yeah
Lewis: you know gloryholes
Simon: what
Lewis: YoU KnOw NuCLeAr WaStE
"We're not sex people."
I can relate :yogSed:
I can relate as well, I guess that happens when you’re a yognaut
@@pacosoentken303 pepehands
@@dave-ish8098 we're not on twitch
@@marshallbowdrie8562 But the feels remain
Some of us are asexual anyway 😃
"Life in captivity? That's quite lenient. There's been monkeys treated worse for less." "Ones that haven't even killed anyone!" *war-like Harambe flashbacks begin*
Apes and monkeys aren't the same thing.
Clearly that was the first trial of throwing kids who don't do their homework to the monkeys, but it went horribly wrong when they realised it was actually a gorilla.
@@DanteTorn I know mate, it's a joke.
@@Anonsy_GB So they forgot the difference and realized the ape was just going to adopt the child, obviously we can't have that.
"Ketchup looks like a tomato" - Simon Lane 2020
She does though!
Can we get a "we're not sex people" on a T-shirt please :P
That's a bit like "...it's not a sex thing." If you have to say it then it probably is.
I can't wait to binge these on Spotify!
I never knew I needed something so much
Last week i said "he looks more and more like a soy Hobo every week" and i was right, lewis really is one day living in simons garden like an 18th century house hermit.
At 11:45 - The Monkey Police should’ve said: “stop monkeying around!” / “I want no monkey business!”
That's bananas, sir!
@@RTheren but ripefully so!
(That's a pun on rightfully so - I just made it up so God knows if it makes any sense!)
Daniel Caves That was a very appeeling pun.
Lewis is slowly turning into his father.
it's been pretty rapid actually
thats a good thing
"Turns out, men who keep cats: women don't wanna date em."
Says Simon, owner of several cats, in his cat t-shirt.
You don't own cats, you are granted the privilege of having them move into your house.
I've thought that for years, now science agrees with me.
If I weren't allergic to cats I'd consider it a good thing, though it's a bit weird to have your cat in a posed profile picture. A guy being caring, responsible and loving enough to have a beloved pet (cat) is a fair indicator for him being decent in a relationship
MzyraJ
I have 3 cats, 2 indoor, 1 outdoor
I’m severely allergic to cats, so...luckily I don’t get scratched
it's ok you can always go for guys, he looks great in his cat t-shirt
Ahhh my weekly Yogpod. Really grateful this is still a thing:D
7:10 Why do I just get dad vibes from this? XD Like a child (Simon) telling their parents about their favourite character from some video game.
1:15 "We are not sex people." Simon (along with Lewis) 2020.
69 likes.. i wonder
000 is the Australian emergency number I don’t know if they’ll be able to help with monkey bites in India...
It's close enough. They can send an officer over.
Lewis could low-key be an actor on Monty python or blackadder or the young ones or something lmao
To the 1% reading this. SHARE SIMONS PP because its an amazing series and it needs more views. We can't have simons pp cancelled
Don't worry, Simon's PP doesn't get around enough to get cancelled.
If you know what I mean.
I sure don't.
And if you like PP uncut, you can have it that way!
Simon's reaction to Lewis saying the word "velvet" was priceless! That face!
Turns out the aussie emergency number '000' is actually the monkey police.
Simon's pet potato should be called Squidy. Because when he grows up he wants to be one.
Holy shit you just recovered forgotten memories of mine.
Petato
The potato conversation got me thinking, imagine if two men could produce an offspring and it’s always a potato.
'So they are more agreeable and more open which means they are less dateable"? You guys are onto something
i seriously love this dumb show. lewis and simon together making content always makes me happy
Same. It reminds me of the old Yogpods; just two people talking nonsense.
I really like these episodes, I enjoy them greatly and plus they seem to just love it! The genuine laughter makes it all the much better.
These never fail to bring a smile to my face. Thank you guys!
Having a pet duck must get you all the ladies. Just imagine: 'Hey girl, wanna see my duck?'
simon talking about the ducks in animal crossing was the most wholesome thing i've heard all week
As soon as he said Molly I was like "Aww," because she's the damn cutest.
Notice how they're slowly starting to move towards each other on the couch once more. They're inseparable ❤️
Didn't Simon already have a pet potato?
Excuse me, sir. Duncan has a name.
@@Orillion123456 Yes, and that name is Doncon.
It sprouted legs are ran away.
Peculiar Portions Uncut!? Sign me up right now! Didn't know how badly I needed this in my life until right now :D
This one really went off the rails I love it!
Thought the title there was referring to Lewis playing Civilization for a moment.
omegalol
-you can have 2 granddads it's 2020
-Oh yeah that's true it is 2020
Welcome to 2020
11:45, over here. Yeah. That's just the regular police, definitely.
Simon: "There needs to be some sort of snug-fitting, thin thing that you can put around your... Hampton."
Vacbed? Ask Trott.
These make my day😂
The 7 housemate scenario was real life for a while. Its good enough variety that we didn't need newbies lol
Wh0r3
damn, living the dream 😳
@@BanditLeader I hope you learn to let people live their lives in ways that they enjoy, ways that are harmless to you, without insulting them.
@@insanitypixelated nah its pretty harmful to me and everyone in the world
“Simon’s uncut peculiar portions”
Ooh, saucy...
uncut pp 😏😏
It’s so good to see Lewis and Simon getting on like this. I know they’ve never really been on bad terms, but I’m glad we’ve been able to get a peek back into the best friendship from the old Yogs days. Love you guys
These are getting better and better!
Idk why but this episode actually made me laugh till the point of tears, excellent joke timing
5:35 Aw fuck, I've never been so called out.
My grandad had a duck fly into his backyard and it just sort of stayed there for a year or so. He fed it bread and grains which i guess is why i found it dead under his lime tree because lo and behold ducks dont eat processed grains. Thank the lord though iv never seen something produce such an immense amount of shit in such a short time.
The podcast was such a delight! Thanks and be well!
You guys should play completing the mission. That would be awesome!!
Aren't we all alcoholic monkeys sentenced to life in captivity?
I really love this videos, keep them coming 👍🏼
holy shit i cried laughing. i forgot how funny these two are when you get them together
This is the kind of high level humor I’m here for 👌💯
omg that face at the end Lewis haha
I didn’t realize how tall simon is or how short lewis is. Changes the dynamic in my head
Please never stop making these!
Lewis and Simon are a great pair! The games really always have just been a better setup for their banter. Glad they got this show!
this is a strong episode because "monkey" is a very funny word
Lewis at 5:28
why you gotta single me out man you described me to a t lol
The 000 joke killed me LOL. Dang it, Lewis!
Holy shit Simon's face when he said "glass panels" 😂
Great stuff as always lads
14:15 It’s not often I get proper laughs that make my abs hurt and my eyes water. But these two always have something. And the tourist part is just... flawless
Uncut Peculiar Portions! I think I'm going to cry with happiness! The YogPod made my early teens and I couldn't get into Triforce no matter how hard I tried. So happy!
I never thought I’d get Simon’s pp as a birthday present but yet here I am watching it with me own two eyes. Thanks Lewis and Simon! 😍
That 000 joke got me. Bloody hell.
so GLAD this is on spotify now!!! Work got a whole lot better!
cutest moments
lewis: struggling with the social distancing gloves at nsfw
simon: the way he said ketchup was the name of a duck in animal crossing
I continue to be amazed by these each week.
peculiar portions is the best show on youtube. big ups to you lads
What a wild ride of stories today... LOL
Ducking love this especially animal news
I feel like Lewis described the idea for a Quarian brothel.
Call it the Bosh-tits
Would be more hilarious if they animated the monkey bit haha
Please keep posting the uncut pp!
Lewis' evolution is exactly the same as Thom Yorke's
These are always so delightful.
Im definitely gonna have to go on a yogsnews marathon soon 😂
Love these, it’s like their old Minecraft days without the Minecraft
"or KETCHUP"
"right..why would you call it..?"
"cause of animal crossing B))"
love the subtle ac reference hehehe
"we should throw a child in with the monkey and tell it to go wild"
*thinks about my boy harambe*
honestly i thought that was why simon brought up the sniper
oh my god. peculiar portions on Spotify? I have been blessed on this day
Simon is so wholesome with wanting ducks named after animal crossing ducks...and Lewis gives absolutely no fucks 🤦🏻♀️😂
7:07 No Scoot? No dignity.
Holy crap im loving the dynamic going on here! I wonder how it would be as an animated series? Not sure its even necessary to be honest.
Another Friday, another peculiar portions
I never thought I'd see the day where Simons' hair looks better than Lewis'.
On the topic of crazed murder monkeys, if you aren't too bothered by horrific situations, listen to the recording of a woman who called the police to report that her pet chimp had ripped the face off her best friend. It's incredibly chilling and frankly, quite bizarre. Amazing what you can find on CZcams.
The fun thing is: using gloryholes with condoms was an actual recommendation to limit contact and transmission.
000 is the Australian emergency number, makes a lot of sense really.
Incredible episode
Love you guys
As a long time fan watching these videos is pure enjoyment ❤️
Well, we now know that Lewis doesn't know how sex happens. This makes too much sense.
This is the closest thing we have to the yogpod
These videos are a gift
Hooters is straight up open in my town 😂😂😂
"MISS! Please. You're breasts are in my social distancing bubble!" - No One, Ever
If the podcast format is easier for you guys I could definitely live with that!
it's just what they have recorded before, just the audio of the videos.
Showing my age but when they were talking about how the sex club member have "safe" sex the scene in the first Naked Gun movie immediately came to mind.
King of the monkeys + Monkeys with wings...
Where have we've seen that indeed I wonder...
what they need are elastic greenscreen suits.