That's most likely part of why she "can't just let it go". If doesn't seem like he took full ownership of his clear mistake. It's A LOT easier to overcome something that hurt your relationship in a significant way when you can truly believe that your partner owns up to what they have done, are feeling bad for having hurt you and then change. But if that first part never happened there won't be a baseline to being able to move on
@@amysanchez340Girl!, you gotta watch closely if you suspect he's cheating, get a clone copy of his phone! that was how I made sure he wasn't still at it.
There are lines you don't cross. Once you cross those lines,the relationship is dead. If you really care about someone, don't cross those lines because all the "sorry"s in the world can't fix it anymore.
I hate that because it's like saying, you should just be over what I did to you. You should pretend like it never happened. It's basically like saying, you should just let me get away with it but continue to be with you as a placeholder until I find someone else. I don't respect you or love you enough to not betray you. You got to stop trying to adjust yourself to make someone else see your worth. If they're not ready, they're not going to. It says nothing about you and everything about them.
I bet he wouldn't say that if she did the same thing he did in the first place. Not saying that cheating or even cheating back is okay. Though yeah, he'd not take it all that lightly.
8 years is a long time to be in a relationship that will never work because of how it started. However someone asking for help and taking responsibility for their mistakes seems like someone who has learned from their mistakes. With that said.. this is also Steve Harvey wouldn’t be shocked if trying to get 15 mins of fame so makes that last point possibly null.
@@aazone1336set a better example and show ur children when they grow up that cheating is wrong and that’s no way to raise a family so they won’t b cheater and they won’t settle for a cheater. It’s is plain wrong! Simple
That sucks. I'm sorry and you didn't deserve that. I've learned something, if you take them back, they learn that there will be no consequences. They learn that they can treat you however they want and nothing will change. They have no reason to respect you at that point. I'm not blaming you, I'm just pointing out how they view the situation. I used to forgive cheating but now, I say, you get one chance to betray me and then that's it. We're done. I will never trust them again.
Him referring to his cheating as a little bit of infidelity is the problem. She may not be moving on because he isn't doing the work he needs to so she feels safe again.
i will never understand what's even there to "get over" after a partner cheats on you. it's not a mistake, you aren't sorry and you don't love your partner as much as you claim if you gonna kiss, fuck or see someone else. it's not a mistake, it's a choice. no need to get over "little infidelity", you needa get off my face. i don't get how some of yall work sometimes, toxic asf.
It takes trust, communication, change, and time…. Truly your opinion but I can assure you men are complicated just as women are. The reasoning behind things are stupid very stupid but in the end it’s the love that brings them together
Young kids….and if you dismiss it you clearly don’t know the statistics of broken homes and how it greatly impacts children for the worse.. But if someone is not going to show extreme remorse, put in the work for forgiveness, and truly change what has to happen must happen.
@@rarebookreviewer it's not about dismissing it, if my partner can cheat on me, i rather take my kids away from someone who can lie to our faces like that. little kids might not get it, they will as they grow up enough to understand why mommy ain't around us no more and what she has done. theres no way im staying with a cheater.
@@chillaxz5472 I’m sorry but you’re just reacting to an emotion without a care for the effects of it. 99% of the comments you read are from uneducated individuals on the topic with the same eye for an eye means of dealing with problems. Most are random people and not experts in psychology m counseling, etc. They just neglect to acknowledge the seriousness of how divorce creates a HUGE new set of problems (notice how no one ever brings those things up?) and statistics show BY FAR that children from divorced families have tons of negative side effects that effect many through their whole lives. I get that it’s easy to lawyer the whole “gotta show my kids how to not be walked over” point with a simple comment that dismisses all of the incredible negative effects the kids will likely go through. If you don’t believe me look up Jordan Peterson’s discussions on divorce and kids. Again, I am NOT saying to stay with someone who isn’t remorseful, feeling guilty for their actions, or blaming the betrayed spouse. I’m only advocating for those who have a spouse that is extremely remorseful and is willing to put in the work to heal. Don’t mistake this for thinking that I feel cheating should be brushed under the rug…it won’t be even if I wanted it to. Cheating is extremely, agonizingly, horrible. But go look at some experts…they will tell you it’s very common for those that are willing to put in the work to have a FAR better relationship after the affair than they’ve EVER had……these are people on CZcams with over 30 years experience dealing with affairs as experts in their fields.
Was he bored? Was he looking for something that was missing from the relationship? What was his reasoning? I'm not saying he was right. I'm just sayin, asking these questions helps a person to reduce the likelihood they get cheated on in the future
@@kristinajackson5862 again, never said cheating was right. Just saying we need to look at the root cause. And if everybody followed your advice, then every relationship would fail at some point. So we need a solution that actually works for people. That's what I'm getting at
@@itsriley1497Girl!, you gotta watch closely if you suspect he's cheating, get a clone copy of his phone! that was how I made sure he wasn't still at it.
She will carry that scar for the rest of her life and Steve expects full trust within a year?! No... I usually agree with Steve but once you prove you can't be trusted it takes much longer than a year to prove you can be trusted again.
We have been together for 21 years, married for 18, 3 beautiful children together ages: soon to be 20, 14, 4. Year 2022 he was caught cheating. I went crazy and got ALL his things and put outside for him to take with him. Cops involved, cps involved(that was my fault because I wanted to put restraining order on him and mentioned son seen us agrue and he had knife.) I got suicidal and homicidal thoughts. I went to his job where his trash lived and was ready to hurt people. I have no desires to commit adultery and get even, my desires were to seek physical damage to him but I couldn't do it because of my kids. I have held so much inside and I go outside to scream and yell and just cry. It's been a year and I barely forgave him but I am still hurt and I do bring it up when we argue. It's too hard because he doesn't deserve half the land or half of anything. I sold my car to my oldest so I don't have a vehicle in my name besides his work truck. He has never said I am sorry and if he did he said he doesn't regret anything he did. I gave it all in this marriage and put up with so much....
I agree, it’s like telling someone they can’t grieve family member after they lost them. You need to put hard work in an if things come up that are triggering they need to be addressed. You can still love a person but trust takes time.
I’m a man myself and love women but tbh since a women did me dirty before, I’d tell her to sleep with someone close to him then dump his ass based on that fucked up response like it was nothing “I had sex with another women but nothing crazy” 😂🤦🏾♂️
If you can't forgive walk away because you never forget it and if you stay you'll have the worst relationship you've ever had in your life free him and Free yourself because if a woman truly loves a man or a man truly loves a woman and their hearts being crushed they are not going to forgive you they will try that they will not and they will never trust you again they will not ever like you again but they still love you that's not basis of a good relationship you're better off by yourself and give you yourself that opportunity to find someone else in your life and keep your heart open.
A marriage at the court house is just a union between u, significant other and the sitting judge. That state union puts the sitting judge as the overseer of that union. Better know what u talking bout
After 8yrs, and the cheating is in the past, you just can’t let it go, that’s a lot of years invested. What’s needed is healing. Communication, being present with intent is what’s needed. A lot of times, after an affair and the person forgives the other, couples rarely take time to learn what caused the affair and how to prevent it from happening again. Finding out how to get closer and making steps to do so is the challenge to every relationship. I’ve been married almost 20yrs and always having “out” as an option has to be taken away. Make the option of out not an option that way, communication becomes the most important thing a couple can do, married or not.
Yup shit Hurts like hell. Full time mom with my 4 kids and married. Decided to attend nursing school because I wanted to better my situation and my kids life next thing u know I’m being cheated on. I feel so paranoid 24/7 and my self esteem is down the drain😢
you winning went back to school 4 kids, you can make it without fool..he crazy ..I bet other chick don't have shit going for herself be blessed who ever you are
One thing I've learnt is put yourself first,keep on going to school mama👏 and brush up on looking good, if you used to bath twice a day,make it three times a day..what I'm trying to say is start looking after yourself,put yourself first,love yourself and your kids..go out with your friends when you have time,just do you.. that way you'll focus on yourself more an less on what he's doing..and that's power right there.. after all that then you can decide what you want to do with your marriage,an if you're going to take him back though,make sure it's on your terms.. you got this girl!.. don't worry about fools
@@diboleloanniekamota6585 🥲🥲 there’s so much love and woman power in your comment. I truly love when one woman lifts up another rather than saying “girl you staying with a man who cheated…ew…have better self respect etc etc” nobody needs to hear that. What they need to hear is EXACTLY what you just put in that beautiful comment. May positivity & blessings rain on you daily 😇👏🏼👏🏼
Doesn’t matter how much you love someone, if trust is not there then there is no foundation. No matter how badly you wanna stay, what’s done is irreversible.
Marriage at the courthouse is a union between u, significant other, and the sitting judge. It does nothing for ur relationship. U can do everything that state union couples can. Buy car house joint bank account open business have children even life insurance. Parting is so much easier without a state union. No need to notify the judge court get attourney none of that.
On September 30th it will officially be 1 year… I still can’t get over it and I don’t know if I ever will. I always said I’d never stay with a man who cheated on me but it’s so much more complicated then that and I can’t leave idk what to do anyone for im just depressed
It happened to me 4 yrs ago. Still can't get over it. Deep down I still question everything he does. I still bring it up too😔 Idk what to do either. I just want to be at peace. With him.
My second wedding anniversary is in a week and in these 2 years I knew lot of things about my husband's Infedility. It comes up every now and then in our argument or talks but i am not to able to forget what he has done even if I want to. I keep telling him that we can't go further like this, it's making both of our lives hell. He think he can fix everything by just saying sorry.
My gf of a year and a half admited to cheating. She drank 2 double shots of tequilla and regrets it. She wishes it never happened. I broke up with her, but I still care about her. I haven't forgiven her, but we are at least civil. I adored her and treated her like a princess. She was in a loveless, emotionally abusive marriage for 20 years before we dated, and she wanted to be single for a while, but then we met. We fell hard for each other, and she loved our relationship but also wanted to be single sometimes and alone at times. I'm not giving her a free pass by any means, and I don't know if we'll ever get back together. But the fact that she told me right after it happened and had so much regret and remorse means something.
Just found out last week that my wife cheated. I heard her chatting to the guy on the phone and confronted her. I'm angry and hurting. Yes we had our some problems but overall everything was good but I never expected this. My anger is driving me crazy and the thought of divorce came up immediately but it complicated...we have 3 young kids who need us. How do I move past this? And the other guy is also married with 3 kids.
Omg, these 2 idiots did not consider the 6 children indirectly affected 😢 You have to see whether she wants help staying and is genuinely sorry but if it was me, I’d separate because I wouldn’t trust anymore 🙏🏼 Best wishes, you deserve better
Even with professional help betrayal trauma often takes more than a year to properly heal from. To put a year deadline on the healing process is unrealistic as healing is not linear.
I agree he can't just say sorry. But you can't forgive and take him back then keep bringing it up over and over... like stated, it doesn't progress the relationship.
First of all I was lost at “ relationship for 8 years” what are you doing at this point. 8 years is to long and if it’s coming up end it. Hell even without the infidelity you need to marry or end it.
It’s a trust factor that was broken and this lady can’t get past it! That should be the end of this relationship! Both should just dissolve this relationship! She will never let it go! She will NEVERr trust him again!!!
"Let him go"? Really, as if you're holding him back or something. No. Ladies, dump his lying, cheating a$$. He betrayed you, he broke your trust, and that will never come back.
Once a person's trust is broken and they've been betrayed like this, there is no going back and it is darn near impossible to fix the relationship. It's like Steve said. There's a penalty for infidelity.
I think it is worse when women cheat because for men most of the time it is purely physical but they do not love that woman, woman will love which ever man makes us feel safe and loved so as soon as our husband stops doing that and someone else does, we will fall in love with the one who does. Which is why I believe that for a long term marriage to work a woman has to consistently tend to her husbands physical needs and a man needs to consistently tend to his wife’s emotional needs. If my husband or long term partner cheated on me, as long as it was just a one night stand and he used protection and it was purely just a mistake purely made of lust not love I would forgive him, as long as he promises to not do it again. However if I am in a relationship and wanting another man it’s because I don’t love my man anymore, because as a girl I can tell you when we truly like a guy we are straight up obsessed and see no other men. However I would discourage cheating on both ends, because as a religious person I believe it is sinful.
Unless there are extenuating circumstances for it the relationship can never be a fulfilling relationship long term. The recipient will forever be sleeping with one eye open never able to fully trust again. You cannot live that way. It's 100% or nothing. You cheat you leave. You owe them that respect.
Sometimes ur partner drives you to cheat. Especially when u want to leave, they beg u to stay but keep treating you like u not shit. U will seek happiness elsewhere
Well, they should agree that she's going to be with someone else as well, and then they're both gonna have that tragedy in their head and then they can decide whether they want to stay together. At least it's going to be equal
The problem is how simple Steve makes it sound and men thinking women hold onto things because they choose to. Problem is that she is probably so in love with him, thinks he’s perfect in every way-but infidelity will affect how you think about everything… from insecurities to raising a family together…. Steve is right with his advice, but I just think it’s hard for women to see it for what it is-something that for most is not something you can work past. After years I got back with my ex-but he couldn’t let his past go and so even though I thought I could move past, he was the one that essentially kept bringing it up without words. That’s another thing to take into account. If he’s gonna be hanging out with the friends who convinced him I wasn’t shit and to cheat on me, friends with the girl he was hooking up every time we broke up… then the “sorry” means nothing and we can’t move anywhere. So there are also things a guy has to do besides say I’m sorry, and you have to figure out if that’s enough to mend it.
The better thing to do is identify what kind of a person u r - if u r incapable of monogamy either donot marry OR tell the partner that she/he gets XYZ, and will have to put up with cheating etc etc and IF she/he’s ok then get married and have kids. Keep ur life mess-free as much as possible.
I wish what Steve said was easy too. Not married it is an easy choice for most. Marriage it is not so easy. The average couple can work it out at least 2 yrs. So 1 yr won't be ideal, but it never goes away even if you forgive and stay. He has not really took ownership of his actions by saying a little infidelity.
There isn’t a 1 year expiration date on having your trust shattered by your partner. You need to both be actively dealing with what happened and have open discussion about it. If you are still dealing with the trauma, your partner who traumatized you still has to deal with it too, because you shouldn’t be in this relationship alone, and by staying they are committing to repair trust in a relationship.
Look at the way he's talking, "little bit nyan nyan nyan" rubbish 😏.. He doesn't sound remorseful for what he did.. He sees it as a small thing! When he wooed the other girl, he knew! When he was texting the other girl, he knew! When he removed her pants, he knew! When he was about to stick in, he knew! When he was sweating ontop of her, he knew! When he went another rounds, he knew! He thinks this "act" can easily be processed and forgotten by his spouse?? Shows he might do it again! I'm sure his spouse had dem balls on chest and a cool cat too, what else was he looking for.. If he wanted some, he could have played the balls and killed the cat, it was all his! And he could open his dirty mouth, shaking his head boastfully to say "a little bit bla bla" His girlfriend deserves better, period!
Exactly. A small minority of people can and will move on from cheating. The chances are, you’re not that person, and you should send the cheater home no matter how much they cry
He said "a little bit of infidelity" trying to diminish his wrongdoing while she obviously is still hurt to this day. So I won't believe shit about him javing truly realized it. Also them dating and still not even being engaged after that lomg also just points towards lack of commitment.
@@ninoslanguagejourney6002 After that long I think most people wouldn't want to really talk about it anymore. We also don't know if it's him who doesn't want to be engaged because she won't let go or her because she feels it's unresolved. I guess ultimately we just don't have enough information
I agree with what Steve said here. However, I would not have taken him back. Now I say, you get one chance to betray me and that's it, we're done after that. You're gone. I understand what he's saying like since she took him back, she has to really try to get past it and move the relationship forward. However, it's clear that she's not passed it and never will be and that's okay. I can tell you from experience that once someone does this to you, you are always wondering when they're going to do it again, who they're talking to etc. That is no way to live. If someone has shown you that they can betray you, get rid of them. Start over. I agree with this as well though because I feel like this has to do with fights. You can't resolve an argument and then keep bringing it up later on to use it against them. Also, on a side note, when you argue, stay on topic. Don't go off into you did this and you did that etc. I agree with him. However, she should have just let him go.
There is No such thing as a “Little Bit of Infidelity”,
True, he was prob feeling a bit ashamed and guilty. In his mind he was trying make it sound bit better.
wrong
That's most likely part of why she "can't just let it go". If doesn't seem like he took full ownership of his clear mistake. It's A LOT easier to overcome something that hurt your relationship in a significant way when you can truly believe that your partner owns up to what they have done, are feeling bad for having hurt you and then change. But if that first part never happened there won't be a baseline to being able to move on
_Yeah... just a little teeny tiny one, no biggie._ 😒
jus like a lil pregnant..smh
You cheat you gone. There's no trust after that, period.
Exactly
😊😊
If there is no trust then why after 3 years he tears me down.... I feel lower than ever😢
Steve says 'after a year' - no mate, after 5 seconds. Why waste a year of your life?!
@@amysanchez340Girl!, you gotta watch closely if you suspect he's cheating, get a clone copy of his phone! that was how I made sure he wasn't still at it.
Cheaters are selfish
They don’t respect or love their partner
There are lines you don't cross. Once you cross those lines,the relationship is dead. If you really care about someone, don't cross those lines because all the "sorry"s in the world can't fix it anymore.
So true 👍
I'm sure all the men heard " if you gonna keep bringing it up" but didn't hear tht " you cant just say im sorry " it takes work
👏🏼
I hate that because it's like saying, you should just be over what I did to you. You should pretend like it never happened. It's basically like saying, you should just let me get away with it but continue to be with you as a placeholder until I find someone else. I don't respect you or love you enough to not betray you. You got to stop trying to adjust yourself to make someone else see your worth. If they're not ready, they're not going to. It says nothing about you and everything about them.
"A little bit of infidelity from my part" that right there should have told her not to take him back period.
I bet he wouldn't say that if she did the same thing he did in the first place. Not saying that cheating or even cheating back is okay. Though yeah, he'd not take it all that lightly.
She loses.
Much easier to find another woman than for her to find a man that “meets” the threshold.
@@BRlGADE_KINGPIN loses what exactly? Why can't people learn to be alone. Its called self respect.
8 years is a long time to be in a relationship that will never work because of how it started.
However someone asking for help and taking responsibility for their mistakes seems like someone who has learned from their mistakes. With that said.. this is also Steve Harvey wouldn’t be shocked if trying to get 15 mins of fame so makes that last point possibly null.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I forgave .. he cheated again... divorced single and happy now ☝️
What if you have a child...
@@aazone1336set a better example and show ur children when they grow up that cheating is wrong and that’s no way to raise a family so they won’t b cheater and they won’t settle for a cheater. It’s is plain wrong! Simple
Good for you. I envy all of you have. Pray for me that I will, regardless of what he may or may not have finally done to work on "it".
That sucks. I'm sorry and you didn't deserve that. I've learned something, if you take them back, they learn that there will be no consequences. They learn that they can treat you however they want and nothing will change. They have no reason to respect you at that point. I'm not blaming you, I'm just pointing out how they view the situation. I used to forgive cheating but now, I say, you get one chance to betray me and then that's it. We're done. I will never trust them again.
Only in rare cases is a cheater truly sorry they did it. The others are just sorry the got caught.
Him referring to his cheating as a little bit of infidelity is the problem. She may not be moving on because he isn't doing the work he needs to so she feels safe again.
ABSOLUTELY 💯💯 JUST LET HIM GO..
Bulou Vere Robanakadavu I agree, just let it go otherwise if you don't you are just in a toxic relationship and it won't get any better but worse.
Absolutely cause You haven’t forgiven him and You can’t move forward
i will never understand what's even there to "get over" after a partner cheats on you. it's not a mistake, you aren't sorry and you don't love your partner as much as you claim if you gonna kiss, fuck or see someone else. it's not a mistake, it's a choice. no need to get over "little infidelity", you needa get off my face. i don't get how some of yall work sometimes, toxic asf.
It takes trust, communication, change, and time…. Truly your opinion but I can assure you men are complicated just as women are. The reasoning behind things are stupid very stupid but in the end it’s the love that brings them together
Young kids….and if you dismiss it you clearly don’t know the statistics of broken homes and how it greatly impacts children for the worse.. But if someone is not going to show extreme remorse, put in the work for forgiveness, and truly change what has to happen must happen.
@@rarebookreviewer it's not about dismissing it, if my partner can cheat on me, i rather take my kids away from someone who can lie to our faces like that. little kids might not get it, they will as they grow up enough to understand why mommy ain't around us no more and what she has done.
theres no way im staying with a cheater.
@@chillaxz5472 I’m sorry but you’re just reacting to an emotion without a care for the effects of it. 99% of the comments you read are from uneducated individuals on the topic with the same eye for an eye means of dealing with problems. Most are random people and not experts in psychology m counseling, etc. They just neglect to acknowledge the seriousness of how divorce creates a HUGE new set of problems (notice how no one ever brings those things up?) and statistics show BY FAR that children from divorced families have tons of negative side effects that effect many through their whole lives. I get that it’s easy to lawyer the whole “gotta show my kids how to not be walked over” point with a simple comment that dismisses all of the incredible negative effects the kids will likely go through. If you don’t believe me look up Jordan Peterson’s discussions on divorce and kids. Again, I am NOT saying to stay with someone who isn’t remorseful, feeling guilty for their actions, or blaming the betrayed spouse. I’m only advocating for those who have a spouse that is extremely remorseful and is willing to put in the work to heal. Don’t mistake this for thinking that I feel cheating should be brushed under the rug…it won’t be even if I wanted it to. Cheating is extremely, agonizingly, horrible. But go look at some experts…they will tell you it’s very common for those that are willing to put in the work to have a FAR better relationship after the affair than they’ve EVER had……these are people on CZcams with over 30 years experience dealing with affairs as experts in their fields.
@@chillaxz5472understood. You gave a broken heart brother, but that does not matter YOU are the only one who can heal it.
Steve talking from experience 😬
Maybe don't cheat and keep it in your pants in the first place?
Easier said than done with all the bitches around
Exactly. They don't understand 🤣
Was he bored? Was he looking for something that was missing from the relationship? What was his reasoning? I'm not saying he was right. I'm just sayin, asking these questions helps a person to reduce the likelihood they get cheated on in the future
@@kirbytaylor4045 if you are bored or unhappy with the person, break up and then go and do your thing. There is no justification for cheating, ever.
@@kristinajackson5862 again, never said cheating was right. Just saying we need to look at the root cause. And if everybody followed your advice, then every relationship would fail at some point. So we need a solution that actually works for people. That's what I'm getting at
He clearly never took responsibility on his part which means the girl can't have closure! " little infidelity " foh he sounds foolish
What else should he have done though?
I mean he was on TV tho image the pressure of saying that in a live crowd. We don’t know their relationship.
@@itsriley1497Girl!, you gotta watch closely if you suspect he's cheating, get a clone copy of his phone! that was how I made sure he wasn't still at it.
Just don’t cheat it takes literally not even five seconds to say I wanna break up I wanna see other people. It’ll hurt but this hurts people way more.
You can't talk yourself out of a situation you behaved yourself into.
She will carry that scar for the rest of her life and Steve expects full trust within a year?! No... I usually agree with Steve but once you prove you can't be trusted it takes much longer than a year to prove you can be trusted again.
We have been together for 21 years, married for 18, 3 beautiful children together ages: soon to be 20, 14, 4. Year 2022 he was caught cheating. I went crazy and got ALL his things and put outside for him to take with him. Cops involved, cps involved(that was my fault because I wanted to put restraining order on him and mentioned son seen us agrue and he had knife.) I got suicidal and homicidal thoughts. I went to his job where his trash lived and was ready to hurt people. I have no desires to commit adultery and get even, my desires were to seek physical damage to him but I couldn't do it because of my kids. I have held so much inside and I go outside to scream and yell and just cry. It's been a year and I barely forgave him but I am still hurt and I do bring it up when we argue. It's too hard because he doesn't deserve half the land or half of anything. I sold my car to my oldest so I don't have a vehicle in my name besides his work truck. He has never said I am sorry and if he did he said he doesn't regret anything he did. I gave it all in this marriage and put up with so much....
@@TheLaydib21I’m so sorry 😢 he’s horrible for that I hope you are okay I am always willing to talk
I agree, it’s like telling someone they can’t grieve family member after they lost them. You need to put hard work in an if things come up that are triggering they need to be addressed. You can still love a person but trust takes time.
He said we are in a good place now, how do you know she's in a good place if she brings it up now and again.
YOU HAVE TO EARN THAT TRUST BACK BY UNDERSTANDING WHO U HURT
How do you suggest people do this?
Some of them never apologize
"A little infidelity"
Did he belittle cheating as if it's not that bad?!? If I were her I would have just left him...
I’m a man myself and love women but tbh since a women did me dirty before, I’d tell her to sleep with someone close to him then dump his ass based on that fucked up response like it was nothing “I had sex with another women but nothing crazy” 😂🤦🏾♂️
If you can't forgive walk away because you never forget it and if you stay you'll have the worst relationship you've ever had in your life free him and Free yourself because if a woman truly loves a man or a man truly loves a woman and their hearts being crushed they are not going to forgive you they will try that they will not and they will never trust you again they will not ever like you again but they still love you that's not basis of a good relationship you're better off by yourself and give you yourself that opportunity to find someone else in your life and keep your heart open.
You're not even married and that woman needs to walk
A marriage at the court house is just a union between u, significant other and the sitting judge. That state union puts the sitting judge as the overseer of that union. Better know what u talking bout
You gotta watch closely if you suspect he's cheating, get a clone copy of his phone! that was how I made sure he wasn't still at it.
So after his infidelity, I forgave and forgot and yet I found out there was more before that time and more after so I did I let him go.
Totally understandable
Bless you!
8 years not married that’s why
After 8yrs, and the cheating is in the past, you just can’t let it go, that’s a lot of years invested. What’s needed is healing. Communication, being present with intent is what’s needed. A lot of times, after an affair and the person forgives the other, couples rarely take time to learn what caused the affair and how to prevent it from happening again. Finding out how to get closer and making steps to do so is the challenge to every relationship. I’ve been married almost 20yrs and always having “out” as an option has to be taken away. Make the option of out not an option that way, communication becomes the most important thing a couple can do, married or not.
Did either of you have infidelity involvement?
Smart man 💜
Yup shit Hurts like hell. Full time mom with my 4 kids and married. Decided to attend nursing school because I wanted to better my situation and my kids life next thing u know I’m being cheated on. I feel so paranoid 24/7 and my self esteem is down the drain😢
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
you winning went back to school 4 kids, you can make it without fool..he crazy ..I bet other chick don't have shit going for herself be blessed who ever you are
One thing I've learnt is put yourself first,keep on going to school mama👏 and brush up on looking good, if you used to bath twice a day,make it three times a day..what I'm trying to say is start looking after yourself,put yourself first,love yourself and your kids..go out with your friends when you have time,just do you.. that way you'll focus on yourself more an less on what he's doing..and that's power right there.. after all that then you can decide what you want to do with your marriage,an if you're going to take him back though,make sure it's on your terms.. you got this girl!.. don't worry about fools
@@diboleloanniekamota6585 🥲🥲 there’s so much love and woman power in your comment. I truly love when one woman lifts up another rather than saying “girl you staying with a man who cheated…ew…have better self respect etc etc” nobody needs to hear that. What they need to hear is EXACTLY what you just put in that beautiful comment. May positivity & blessings rain on you daily 😇👏🏼👏🏼
Doesn’t matter how much you love someone, if trust is not there then there is no foundation. No matter how badly you wanna stay, what’s done is irreversible.
Im already past the 8 yr dating situation...
You and me both
Marriage at the courthouse is a union between u, significant other, and the sitting judge. It does nothing for ur relationship. U can do everything that state union couples can. Buy car house joint bank account open business have children even life insurance. Parting is so much easier without a state union. No need to notify the judge court get attourney none of that.
This dude always gives the worst advice 🤣🤣
If she cannot get over it, she should leave him. If she cannot get over it, he should go.
I find it insane that people, especially women ask Steve for relationship advice.
On September 30th it will officially be 1 year…
I still can’t get over it and I don’t know if I ever will. I always said I’d never stay with a man who cheated on me but it’s so much more complicated then that and I can’t leave idk what to do anyone for im just depressed
It happened to me 4 yrs ago. Still can't get over it. Deep down I still question everything he does. I still bring it up too😔 Idk what to do either. I just want to be at peace. With him.
My second wedding anniversary is in a week and in these 2 years I knew lot of things about my husband's Infedility. It comes up every now and then in our argument or talks but i am not to able to forget what he has done even if I want to. I keep telling him that we can't go further like this, it's making both of our lives hell. He think he can fix everything by just saying sorry.
You gotta watch closely if you suspect he's cheating, get a clone copy of his phone! that was how I made sure he wasn't still at it.
Just leave him girl
If the roles were reversed, would the male counterpart ever let go?
Nope. They never do. That’s why I believe of letting go the first offense because men will not take you back if you cheated.
My gf of a year and a half admited to cheating. She drank 2 double shots of tequilla and regrets it. She wishes it never happened. I broke up with her, but I still care about her. I haven't forgiven her, but we are at least civil. I adored her and treated her like a princess. She was in a loveless, emotionally abusive marriage for 20 years before we dated, and she wanted to be single for a while, but then we met. We fell hard for each other, and she loved our relationship but also wanted to be single sometimes and alone at times. I'm not giving her a free pass by any means, and I don't know if we'll ever get back together. But the fact that she told me right after it happened and had so much regret and remorse means something.
Just let her go and focus on your purpose.
Yea, after a year, you will be fine. Dumbest thing I've ever heard if you are going to cheat leave don't be a cheating coward.
It’s not easy sometimes you have a children with him
Walk away. Never look back.
Just found out last week that my wife cheated. I heard her chatting to the guy on the phone and confronted her. I'm angry and hurting. Yes we had our some problems but overall everything was good but I never expected this. My anger is driving me crazy and the thought of divorce came up immediately but it complicated...we have 3 young kids who need us. How do I move past this? And the other guy is also married with 3 kids.
What do you say to her ?
Do you want to work on your relationship or you just don’t know yet ?
That's so sad! I hope thigs got better for you! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Omg, these 2 idiots did not consider the 6 children indirectly affected 😢 You have to see whether she wants help staying and is genuinely sorry but if it was me, I’d separate because I wouldn’t trust anymore 🙏🏼 Best wishes, you deserve better
Yea, it will take longer than a year, so if you are going to cheat just to be a coward just walk away.
Y'all need to break up. Cheaters can't honestly expect a second chance. And if the woman so graciously gives him one, he better make it up to her 🤷
Even with professional help betrayal trauma often takes more than a year to properly heal from. To put a year deadline on the healing process is unrealistic as healing is not linear.
8 years and he hasn’t married her yet? lol. 💀
😭I am in 12 years
He hasn't owned it yet.
Next time try 'I cheated in my partner 8 years ago'...
True. But you dont wait a year. Dump him right away and dont look back.
I agree he can't just say sorry. But you can't forgive and take him back then keep bringing it up over and over... like stated, it doesn't progress the relationship.
Yep.
Just separate....I don't think its worth it ,and u can't call it a mistake, wtf...u knew what u were doing!
Shut up🤨
Girl!, you gotta watch closely if you suspect he's cheating, get a clone copy of his phone! that was how I made sure he wasn't still at it.
Cheating is the worst kind of disrespect any partner could ever do. I can't come back from that. Trust is everything to me.
"We are on a good place now" 😮😮😮😮😮😂😂😂😂😂
if there is cheating
there is lies!!
First of all I was lost at “ relationship for 8 years” what are you doing at this point. 8 years is to long and if it’s coming up end it. Hell even without the infidelity you need to marry or end it.
Why?
He looks young. They probably met in high school. But yeah I agree 8 years is a long time.
They just wasting each others time
Marriage does not make love.
Definitely let him go. He just said "a little bit of infidelity"
He's like "Yeah totally agree, I don't get why she hasn't dumped me yet either"
Bs fr sure😂😂
A man would never take a woman back if she had a little infidelity 😂
It’s a trust factor that was broken and this lady can’t get past it! That should be the end of this relationship! Both should just dissolve this relationship! She will never let it go! She will NEVERr trust him again!!!
Steve would know about it… he’s a professional
This guy has been divorced 3 times don’t listen to him. He is tricking y’all into liking him by smooth talking
good morning. ok. bless all us here amen.
"Let him go"? Really, as if you're holding him back or something. No. Ladies, dump his lying, cheating a$$. He betrayed you, he broke your trust, and that will never come back.
first problem was talking to steve
She don’t have to leave him , just give him a taste of his own medicine , a see if he can get pass it . 😮
This advice didn’t last long for Steve himself
Girl!, you gotta watch closely if you suspect he's cheating, get a clone copy of his phone! that was how I made sure he wasn't still at it.
Once a person's trust is broken and they've been betrayed like this, there is no going back and it is darn near impossible to fix the relationship.
It's like Steve said. There's a penalty for infidelity.
But Steve you just said it’s a penalty for infidelity…..
What qualifies you to give such a response..
Wrong answer steve...a year ain't nearly enough time to get over it
Guy sounds just like Big Sean
I think it is worse when women cheat because for men most of the time it is purely physical but they do not love that woman, woman will love which ever man makes us feel safe and loved so as soon as our husband stops doing that and someone else does, we will fall in love with the one who does. Which is why I believe that for a long term marriage to work a woman has to consistently tend to her husbands physical needs and a man needs to consistently tend to his wife’s emotional needs.
If my husband or long term partner cheated on me, as long as it was just a one night stand and he used protection and it was purely just a mistake purely made of lust not love I would forgive him, as long as he promises to not do it again. However if I am in a relationship and wanting another man it’s because I don’t love my man anymore, because as a girl I can tell you when we truly like a guy we are straight up obsessed and see no other men. However I would discourage cheating on both ends, because as a religious person I believe it is sinful.
Unless there are extenuating circumstances for it the relationship can never be a fulfilling relationship long term. The recipient will forever be sleeping with one eye open never able to fully trust again. You cannot live that way. It's 100% or nothing.
You cheat you leave. You owe them that respect.
She don’t have to leave him , just give him a taste of his own medicine , a see if he can get pass it . 😮 revenge is so sweet . 🎉
Sometimes ur partner drives you to cheat. Especially when u want to leave, they beg u to stay but keep treating you like u not shit. U will seek happiness elsewhere
Well, they should agree that she's going to be with someone else as well, and then they're both gonna have that tragedy in their head and then they can decide whether they want to stay together. At least it's going to be equal
Girl!, you gotta watch closely if you suspect he's cheating, get a clone copy of his phone! that was how I made sure he wasn't still at it.
Is that you Rolly?
So right on Steve!
And if they take you back afterward, they like it, do it again.
U shud of thought about that before u cheated. The audacity of cheaters!!
The problem is how simple Steve makes it sound and men thinking women hold onto things because they choose to. Problem is that she is probably so in love with him, thinks he’s perfect in every way-but infidelity will affect how you think about everything… from insecurities to raising a family together…. Steve is right with his advice, but I just think it’s hard for women to see it for what it is-something that for most is not something you can work past.
After years I got back with my ex-but he couldn’t let his past go and so even though I thought I could move past, he was the one that essentially kept bringing it up without words. That’s another thing to take into account. If he’s gonna be hanging out with the friends who convinced him I wasn’t shit and to cheat on me, friends with the girl he was hooking up every time we broke up… then the “sorry” means nothing and we can’t move anywhere. So there are also things a guy has to do besides say I’m sorry, and you have to figure out if that’s enough to mend it.
Humans evolve, learn and build. Change is apart of us. Were not perfect nor are we robots.
You can see his bodyguard and wife behind his eyes when he said, "what yall doin?"
The better thing to do is identify what kind of a person u r - if u r incapable of monogamy either donot marry OR tell the partner that she/he gets XYZ, and will have to put up with cheating etc etc and IF she/he’s ok then get married and have kids.
Keep ur life mess-free as much as possible.
It will come up for years, the trauma doesn’t have a timeline
That's something i can't forgive
Girl!, you gotta watch closely if you suspect he's cheating, get a clone copy of his phone! that was how I made sure he wasn't still at it.
...uh, it takes about 5 years
Is that lil romeo
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I wish what Steve said was easy too. Not married it is an easy choice for most. Marriage it is not so easy. The average couple can work it out at least 2 yrs. So 1 yr won't be ideal, but it never goes away even if you forgive and stay. He has not really took ownership of his actions by saying a little infidelity.
There isn’t a 1 year expiration date on having your trust shattered by your partner.
You need to both be actively dealing with what happened and have open discussion about it.
If you are still dealing with the trauma, your partner who traumatized you still has to deal with it too, because you shouldn’t be in this relationship alone, and by staying they are committing to repair trust in a relationship.
Finally a topic Steve knows knows something about 😊
Just let me go
He should know 😂😂😂
Look at the way he's talking, "little bit nyan nyan nyan" rubbish 😏..
He doesn't sound remorseful for what he did.. He sees it as a small thing!
When he wooed the other girl, he knew!
When he was texting the other girl, he knew!
When he removed her pants, he knew!
When he was about to stick in, he knew!
When he was sweating ontop of her, he knew!
When he went another rounds, he knew!
He thinks this "act" can easily be processed and forgotten by his spouse??
Shows he might do it again!
I'm sure his spouse had dem balls on chest and a cool cat too, what else was he looking for.. If he wanted some, he could have played the balls and killed the cat, it was all his!
And he could open his dirty mouth, shaking his head boastfully to say "a little bit bla bla"
His girlfriend deserves better, period!
Are you? No you are not if she keeps bringing it up. She is not over it.
Good advice
Real talk 💯💯
They don't respect or love their partners.
Let her go Steve, just let her go..
Exactly. A small minority of people can and will move on from cheating. The chances are, you’re not that person, and you should send the cheater home no matter how much they cry
Child Bye... live with it..
That what I'm going through thank you for the topic
She should have let him go upon finding out. Once a cheater, always a cheater. That's how weak people deal with problems.
There's no excuse for cheating but if he realizes what he did wrong and is with you for 7 years faithfully you have to forgive him eventually.
He said "a little bit of infidelity" trying to diminish his wrongdoing while she obviously is still hurt to this day. So I won't believe shit about him javing truly realized it. Also them dating and still not even being engaged after that lomg also just points towards lack of commitment.
@@ninoslanguagejourney6002 After that long I think most people wouldn't want to really talk about it anymore. We also don't know if it's him who doesn't want to be engaged because she won't let go or her because she feels it's unresolved. I guess ultimately we just don't have enough information
I agree with what Steve said here. However, I would not have taken him back. Now I say, you get one chance to betray me and that's it, we're done after that. You're gone. I understand what he's saying like since she took him back, she has to really try to get past it and move the relationship forward. However, it's clear that she's not passed it and never will be and that's okay. I can tell you from experience that once someone does this to you, you are always wondering when they're going to do it again, who they're talking to etc. That is no way to live. If someone has shown you that they can betray you, get rid of them. Start over. I agree with this as well though because I feel like this has to do with fights. You can't resolve an argument and then keep bringing it up later on to use it against them. Also, on a side note, when you argue, stay on topic. Don't go off into you did this and you did that etc. I agree with him. However, she should have just let him go.