There are also those who are praised a lot or feel responsible of that praise and feel like they have to maintain it therefore they burn themselves out for that matter and become perfectionists.
Yes, absolutely. It's a heavy responsibility to hold up the bar so high up. Good point! 😍 Parents think that they're motivating their children but in reality they are (unknowingly) overwhelming them. Poor children 😢
That's interesting you mention that children can still become perfectionists if the parents aren't critical. I always thought I had the nicest, kindest, most open-minded mom. I was given a lot of freedom and my parents didn't seem strict, at least in the traditional way. But my mom was very much admired by others on how she kept the house clean and organized, how good of a cook she is, how health-conscious she is, how our family is so loving, how we have it all together, etc. I thought my mom was perfect and that she could do no wrong. Well, I became a perfectionist, even though my mom doesn't understand why.. She keeps saying, "I never told you to get good grades, I was never strict with you, I told you it's ok to make mistakes, I don't know why you felt so pressured to be perfect," etc. Very fascinating...
It's not only what they say, but what they do. The subtle perfectionism. Equally powerful and contaminating 😉 Thank you for your observations and awareness! 🙏
My relationship with my parents is a mixture of the first three! My parents also compare me to them when they were younger a bit. No wonder I’m becoming like them it’s inevitable 😅. But I hate it, it makes me so angry at them and others when they don’t do exactly what I ask for. I’m becoming someone I don’t want to be but it’s so hard to drain out that mindset when when I am constantly surrounded by it. I don’t know what to do.
As you correctly say, it's inevitable, we will unconsciously copy some of our parents beliefs, habits and behaviors. But when we become aware of these, we always have the change to select them out of our system and to unlearn them. It's difficult, but when you become the person you want to be that's a priceless and quite proud moment in your life. Have a look at my Masterclass How to Stop Perfectionism and Start Living - a holistic approach in feeling enough again and in becoming the person we feel proud to be. 😉
It's interesting because my parents are 1,2,4 and it was clear to me. but my partner's parents are such good people and they never judge him. I was always wondering why he ended up being a perfectionist, and now I realize they are type 3. They have sacrificed a lot for their children and, as you said, have their heads high. And my partner always mentions that whenever he faces a difficulty he thinks it can't be harder than what his father has faced.
Yeap, now it all makes sense, right? I have seen it so often: not only the judgmental parents but the ones who sacrificed a lot create a high standard, in a subtle unspoken way.
Yes
There are also those who are praised a lot or feel responsible of that praise and feel like they have to maintain it therefore they burn themselves out for that matter and become perfectionists.
Yes, absolutely. It's a heavy responsibility to hold up the bar so high up. Good point! 😍 Parents think that they're motivating their children but in reality they are (unknowingly) overwhelming them. Poor children 😢
That's interesting you mention that children can still become perfectionists if the parents aren't critical. I always thought I had the nicest, kindest, most open-minded mom. I was given a lot of freedom and my parents didn't seem strict, at least in the traditional way. But my mom was very much admired by others on how she kept the house clean and organized, how good of a cook she is, how health-conscious she is, how our family is so loving, how we have it all together, etc. I thought my mom was perfect and that she could do no wrong. Well, I became a perfectionist, even though my mom doesn't understand why.. She keeps saying, "I never told you to get good grades, I was never strict with you, I told you it's ok to make mistakes, I don't know why you felt so pressured to be perfect," etc. Very fascinating...
It's not only what they say, but what they do. The subtle perfectionism. Equally powerful and contaminating 😉 Thank you for your observations and awareness! 🙏
My relationship with my parents is a mixture of the first three! My parents also compare me to them when they were younger a bit. No wonder I’m becoming like them it’s inevitable 😅.
But I hate it, it makes me so angry at them and others when they don’t do exactly what I ask for. I’m becoming someone I don’t want to be but it’s so hard to drain out that mindset when when I am constantly surrounded by it. I don’t know what to do.
As you correctly say, it's inevitable, we will unconsciously copy some of our parents beliefs, habits and behaviors.
But when we become aware of these, we always have the change to select them out of our system and to unlearn them. It's difficult, but when you become the person you want to be that's a priceless and quite proud moment in your life. Have a look at my Masterclass How to Stop Perfectionism and Start Living - a holistic approach in feeling enough again and in becoming the person we feel proud to be. 😉
It's interesting because my parents are 1,2,4 and it was clear to me. but my partner's parents are such good people and they never judge him. I was always wondering why he ended up being a perfectionist, and now I realize they are type 3. They have sacrificed a lot for their children and, as you said, have their heads high. And my partner always mentions that whenever he faces a difficulty he thinks it can't be harder than what his father has faced.
Yeap, now it all makes sense, right? I have seen it so often: not only the judgmental parents but the ones who sacrificed a lot create a high standard, in a subtle unspoken way.
You came into my life at the right time. Thank you soooo much. I'll learn lots from you. ❤
Welcome! So glad to have you here with us! I'm glad to hear that my videos are useful and helpful to you 😊
Another interesting video would be how not to raise your child as a perfectionist!
Noted 😉 Thanks a lot for the suggestion 🙏