Which of these other animals could I take in a fight?
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2024
- This video came from my stream on March 6th, 2023. Catch me live from 9AM-2PM PT here: / northernlion
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NL is forgetting that since he ranked the lobster first all subsequent units gained a +2 +2 buff right out the gate
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+2 comment buffs for you sir
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the thought of animals having the discussion of "could I take a human in a fight" is extremely humorous
got me imagining my herd of guinea pigs are plotting something
‘Guy with a gun, that’s easily me getting torn to shreds’
‘Shut up chat obviously if it was just a paintgun I would win, we’re talking about actual guns’
NL acting it out had me wheezing
I feel like someone should make a tier list from the pov of a dog or something
NL creating a straw man that is literally an eagle is peak comedy
Id have pissed myself laughing if I were at full capacity
I'm gonna give him major +2 for not putting anything in "I'd be too scared to fight." My man will face that elephant zero fear. He goes in. Bushido.
NL can run from a panda bear in this hypothetical battle warehouse but the walrus has him dead to rights i guess
Remember it’d freeze him to death. It has its frost breath.
I think he might think he could strike a panda to death eventually, but the walrus is too tanky. Still don't know why it isn't a draw though.
The walrus has death touch so that makes the difference.
also he thinks he can catch a fox lol
Panda cant catch NL due to speed and stamina, but NL can definitely catch a bird before he runs out of stam
"which of these animals can name more Roman emperors than me"
+2
Luna in kindergarten saying her dad can take on a trex
Still more reasonable than his own takes
still a better take then nl’s panda take
Well they are vegetarians.
@@gorgannan5177 wait what
@@jenm1 Luna mentioned T-Rex is her favorite dinosaur, and that they eat plants.
I don't really know much about dinosaurs so I assume she knows what she's talking about.
"One good strike to the wolf temple" is not only the funniest line from this, but also the premise of an animated film oneday.
NL thinks that his fight against a wolf would be like a Dark Souls boss where wolf has canned attack animations with huge wind up and you can dodge roll away and punish it. If you try to kick a wolf in the temple it will probably just snap at your shin in retaliation.
@@bulkbogan6235 Never seen it done to a wolf but dogs are basicaly the same thing and I've seen a big guy kick a dog in the head so hard it started to have a seizure, if he wanted to kill it he could've just stomped it to death.
@@bitspirit3 "Dog's are basically the same thing" Bruh, they are easily three times the size of your average dog, and they haven't had all their predatory instincts bred out of them either.
@@bulkbogan6235 see but the thing is the wolf is most dangerous when you don’t have a hold of it, i agree with his wolf take, end of the day you’d probably die to infection and stuff but it’s possible to beat a lone wolf, but it’d be close, or you’d be lucky and the wolf gets scared, but if you get a good strike you win, his talks about making a scale a and such killed me tho
@@nattteo they’re still an alpha /beta animal so just teach it who’s boss problem solved 😎 usually when people see dogs get fought against it’s a big dog, depends what dog old mate is talking about but big dogs still get beat by humans, a good strike is a good strike
Visualizing NL saying he'd FOLD the squid like it was some kind of dollar bill made me LOL
the way NL talks about the ones that have no chance against him makes me laugh every time
wow you won not one not two but THREE prizes
Somebody should call dementia support for the bot’s sake
@@iconica9516 OMG
Something about the verbiage of "painting the walls with their blood" when it's like, a lobster or mouse or some shit, is very humorous to me
@@iconica9516 yes! yes! yes!
Northernlion on squids: "I think I could fold it."
To be fair as long as you can fold an animal you can probably beat it in a fight.
That line actually made me laugh out loud. It's big brain thinking
Can't wait to play my first game of wolf human deer.
Bruh, a wolf would lose to a deer. That's why they hunt in packs. One deer hit murders the wolf in multiple ways.
@@mackinator people don’t understand that whitetail deer are small. They are the same size or smaller than wolves. Wolves hunt in packs to surround for ease, not because they are weak. Only half of deer even have antlers and to use them they have to stick their heads and run blindly forward. It might bloody the wolf if it’s lucky but it loses 99% of the time.
My ass is picking deer every time. Full on buck that has everything to prove? I'm taking that 10/10 times.
@@DDS_Rips yeah it's weird the big deer lobby are out in force on both of the tier list videos...
@@DDS_Rips bro the average NA wolf is 80 lb fully grown and the white tail buck are normally 150-300 lb. Largest ever grey wolf was 175 lb and the largest white tail buck was 511 lb. You gotta be crazy to think they are similar size
Every time NL gives you a detailed breakdown of how he would beat the animal, you know it's cap.
The man is just self reporting at this point.
@realNothernlion so true
the bald eagle explanation had me dead
@@ryk3rofficial524 holy shit it's been so long since I've seen that picture shit just shocked me with nostalgia
@@ryk3rofficial524 i mean it would hurt like hell but what is a 5kg animal that cant hurt you if you grab its back gonna do
I mean yeah it would claw you but unless the human lets themselves bleed out
The eagles talking about how they'd kill a human had me giggling silly style
Saame
Real @@SplittTwig
"Now that the adults are here...... let's talk about what animals I would beat up." You just don't hear this level of commentary anywhere else.
He's so unhinged when he does these lmao, 10/10 content
It's been 2 minutes and Enelle is already gaslighting the entirety of his chat while comparing a zebra to a rhino. My streamer.
I stopped watching right then, that was so uncomfortable. If he was joking I didn’t get it
@@randyladd4528 why would it be a joke? NL was 100% correct but chat can't pay attention for more than 10 seconds at a time, so they didn't understand the context.
Pretty sure someone didn’t give him a high-five during his 20 minute Eliza Gerber ”back to the 90’s (slow rock)” peloton ride
@@lukaspip10 +2
@@randyladd4528 You're so fucking stupid lmfao. He very explicitly explained that his point was that both were things he couldn't see himself doing enough damage to kill, not that a zebra is very close to a Rhino. He went out of his way to explain exactly what he meant but some people are just too slow I guess.
"I don't see how I could generate the Newtons required to end his life" is such a funny sentence, holy shit.
This is secretly just the "what does this animal weigh" tier list.
Does he know there's like a 9 foot length difference between a komodo dragon and a gila monster?
Did you watch the vid? I’d wager he knows very very little lol. Mans thinks walruses have frost breath lol
@@BrownEyedPrincess1 I tapped out after he said he wouldnt get torn to shreds by a zebra
@@BrownEyedPrincess1 I think he meant that the walrus would drag him under the water in it's natural habitat which is freezing and he'd freeze to death.
@@Jwarchild i mean if you break through the pain you can get a few hits before the zebra kicks you into oblivion
@@WackyrDrago Lemme know when you manage to "break through the pain" against the 800 lbs warhorse that kicks lions to death 😂😂🤣
I'm gonna say it. 90% of NLs takes were sane takes. Chat is delusional on almost all counts just to be contrarian.
Shocker that zoomers who sit on twitch don't know anything about animals or fighting.
Most sane comment on here.
@@totalmetaljacket789 A lot of people overestimate the amount of damage a human can do
@@beechboiii they also underestimate them a lot, NL isnt wrong about pretty much any of the animals, i didnt see a single animal on there he ranked as could beat that he couldnt beat, or vice versa.
the deer/wolf take was the 1 that I was like “this is just delusional” lmao. people don’t understand that whitetail deer are small. They are the same size or smaller than wolves. Wolves hunt in packs to surround for ease, not because they are weak. Only half of deer even have antlers and to use them they have to suck their heads and run blindly forward. It might bloody the wolf if it’s lucky but it loses 99% of the time.
Imagining the eagle tearing at NL’s precious, unprotected, and very bald head is giving me DOUBT
I love his idea of pulling it in towards his stomach so it's claws can go straight for his intestines
I like how he thinks it would attack from the front, I figure an eagle could easily attack from behind with talons to the neck like a knife, height advantage would suck and those talons are freaking huge
You guys are taking crazy pills. Eagles have incredibly strong talons made for grasping. But they weigh like 15 fucking pounds, man. It is not going to disembowel someone fighting back lmao
@@eewweeppkk In your mind is the eagle just walking up to you for this fight? The dude is going to dive on you at 75 mph and crush your skull with it's talons. You're not in a cage match with it.
@@fudgyboo At worst I'd put it in a 50/50, I don't think an eagle would kill me in a 1v1 and if I'm seeing it with my eyes and it can't fly at it's peak height in a 'container box arena' i think i have a chance of at least protecting the vital parts with my arms first, and even if it gets through I ain't going down without a fight, I'm grabbing that shit once it gets close and doing everything i can to crush it even if it has talons stabbing latched on me unless somehow it instantly kills me which i have a hard time imagining, in this hypothetical fight to the death.
with more descriptive tiering, his panda take is less unreasonable
I'm convinced this entire tier list was made by a fan to force NL to reevaluate the panda matchup
other than tierzoo, northernlion is probably the only person i would want to watch do this tier list
He needs to do one of these videos as Old NL with his psychotic "I have 50:50 odds against a bear" takes.
the most ambitious thumbnail i've ever seen
EZ W for me
I love the idea of "Wolf NL Deer" as the new rock paper scissors
NL is paper
Right out the gate
"I kinda see a Zebra as if it's a weaker rhino"
these are the takes that im here for
Has 4 legs? check. Is an animal? check. Must be a rhino
"Komodo Dragon... or Gila Monster"
Bless the egg for thinking those are remotely the same thing
I can't believe he did another sometimes this man really hits the spot perfectly
I died laughing when he talked about inviting friends over to watch him destroy a lobster in a fight
This is JUST like super auto pets, except we don’t get to see some of his insane takes get proven wrong because that’d mean him getting mauled or disemboweled.
"is it a rhino or a hippo?"
Either way, it's a RIPPO
The main difference is the amount of sadistic joy they'll get out of killing you.
tier lists are the perfect type of NL content, i dont care about video games at all anymore but still like to hear his banter on random topics, so this shits perfect
I love how Ryan, in both, says "Komodo Dragon or Gila Monster" as if they are even remotely close. You'd die to a Komodo, but you'd obliterate a Gila. -(Assuming you don't get poisoned from the venom, or actually poison in the case of the Gila since its saliva is poisonous not injected like venom)- Komodos are huge but Gilas are pretty small you can easily squeeze one to death if forced to.
Everything that enters your body through a wound would be venom. You need to eat something for it to poison you. Also gila monster venom only causes pain, not anything like organ failure (though some stories of people dying from the pain are out there, it is PAIN pain)
I don't really get triggered easily but you are so wrong and so confident at the same time lol. Gila monster is a venomous lizard which injects venom like a snake would do. The whole salvia thing is about the komodo dragon, which is also a fairy tale because it was proven komodo dragons actually have venom glands. Even if what you said was true it their salvia would be a venom not a poison so you arw wrong at that point too.
@@malkovichmalkovich_ Whoops, got mixed up on the venom part. Thanks for the correction. (To ease your triggered thingy, I wasn't confident. Just made a semi-educated but inaccurate guess). My statement still stands regarding the size difference though. Which I just now realized I never stated. Fixed the comment to reflect the changes.
@@EveloGrave I'm sorry for being aggressive and if it sounded mean. 🙂
@@malkovichmalkovich_ We all make mistakes (i clearly did). No sweat.
“The deer is spec’d for defense” made me laugh way harder that it should have.
i love how every time he’s unsure of a matchup he just looks up who would win in a fight human vs animal
13:26 is just the best rant ever 😂
I almost spit out my drink when he said he would "fold" the squid 😂
"I'd rip you in half like a chicken tender" Has me dead in Panera Bread
The story about the guy killing a lepard by riping it´s toungue out sounds like an old cartoon
NL being scared to fight a gorilla because one hijacked a helicopter in Planet of the Apes is hilarious
I think this tier list would be more interesting if there were rocks & sticks of various sizes around the arena. I'm not saying he'd be able to fashion a weapon or anything, but it would make it possible to harm some of the animals that he couldn't really damage otherwise, and projectiles could also be useful in some matchups.
Everyone's forgetting that NL got that Dawg in him
I love that in the last video he says he would draw with the panda but then when he reads an article saying the wolf would do the EXACT SAME STRATEGY he just goes "nah they cant do that its a cage match" this man is insane i love him
"Elephant? This is like the ultimate deer" 💀
You guys saying a person couldn’t kill a bald eagle are smoking a fat one
there's just way too much of a size difference, even if their talons are sharp, one good hit and you can break most of it's bones as like most birds they are quite brittle.
ye idk some people are acting like eagles are some fucking anime character that is gonna perfectly target your jugular and escape without getting grabbed when in reality it's probably gonna cut you up and hurt like a bitch but 99% of the time not hit anything lethal, and even if it gets the first swipe free once you know it's coming you'll be able to grab it in retaliation and crush it extremely easily
Birds have hollow bones. If it swoops in on you it'll do damage, sure, but it immediately loses its advantage and you can just squeeze the life out of it and break every bone in its body. Chat is underestimating humans. We are the dominant species for a reason.
ah yes, the elephant, aka the ultimate dear
Elephant, this is like the ultimate deer
Chat putting too much stock in a single wolf.
They kill deer by running them to death, not wolfjujitsu.
11:58 up through the eagles talking about fighting a human has me in tears
NL rping as an Eagle at 13:40 is amazing lmao
Eagle bit was incredible. These videos make me realize I’m probably insane cause I agree with NL and literally no one else does lol
Much like react court this content is just top tier. EDIT: Idk about the eagle. when diving for prey they go as fast as 200mph, you get hit with that, get dazed and she'll just fly away again. Death by a thousand cuts
that's because their prey is smaller than they are. think of the physics, equal and opposite reaction, they weigh ~5kg adult human male ~90kg. why would they even attempt to fly into things bigger than they are.
they do have a lot of grip and bite force though, and eyes are always a weak spot so they'll go for your face, you'll protect your head with hands, it either grips your hand or you grab it's talons, then you bring it under foot and step on it.
in most situations bigger mass wins.
@@snooks5607 eagles can prey on smaller animals like fish mammals or even other birds, that is true. They also can hunt deer or antelopes tho. A deer can weigh like 100kg sometimes that's no joke. I just don't see how a normal human would win in a fight vs that.
@@1ricky4dias7 Bro a human isn't a deer. Just grab the fucking bird and stomp it, it's not that complicated. Even hitting it could be enough, bird bones are very brittle because they're hollow.
@@luukas2660 lmao
@@1ricky4dias7 It weighs 7kg for gods sakes. One well timed punch when it's diving and the fight is over.
I love how NL thinks he could easily kill a starfish. Sure, you could crush it with your foot, but that's literally the only way he could beat it, cause tearing it apart will literally only turn one starfish into 6, depending on how many pieces you tried to tear it into.
This is the same take as thinking wolves have more HP than deer
but it takes starfish like a whole year to regenerate...
We gotta get @tierzoo on this
i think tierzoo actually did a similar thing with ludwig or another youtuber and their list was pretty similar to NL's
The Eagle bit had me crying😂
Me too
When he said "and squeeze" I absolutely lost it 😂
This is my favorite NL series so far to be honest
I saw a lot of comments saying the wolf take is madness.
No. His take was based AF.
I absolutely agree his chances in a fight to the death are better against a wolf than a deer.
If NL had any kind of weapon, tool, or other advantage. This would not be the case. But he would have a better chance of inficting serious blunt force trauma against a wolf than a deer.
That being said. Wolf should be on the same tier as deer.
I love that if the eagle used NLs panda logic of playing keep away and then landing a killing blow when their opponents guard is down, it would beat him everytime.
Right, but the point is they wouldn't because they have literal bird brains. The Panda strategy is something a human is smart enough to think of. An Eagle is going to follow relatively simple instincts and eventually get caught and killed.
@@rylace That's honestly fair
Fully optimized animal ranking; sort by weight then tweak by who's punching above or below their weight.
NL is forgetting he can choke out the animals or hammerfist an organ, a human can deliver enough force in a bite to break small bones/appendages, we have powerful strikes like say i pin a llama to his side with a tackle, wrestle him down, and hammerfist his internal organs? how would it fight back? A wolf, kicks to keep him back, wrestle when he tries to go in, choke him out and maybe spare doge.
People are vastly overestimating wolves. Not that they are not scary, but what makes them great preditors is their pack. By themselves, they are not nearly as dangerous. The placement here seems perfect.
The wolf discourse is just a psyop by NL to distract people from the other insane takes, such as "I would lose to a squid/octopus".
there's so many conditionals in this setup that it's kind of pointless to even talk about, but yea if the wolf was smart enough it'd take a chunk of calf muscle then wait around until you pass out from blood loss or infection
@@snooks5607 It's not NL vs a human level intelligence wolf. It's NL vs a random wolf.
Yeah. The part with chat loosing their minds for him placing the cow over the wolf is great. Like, you CAN kill a wolf if it didn't attack you, but to kill a cow with your bare hands it's just too difficult if not outright impossible. I don't know if a human can generate enough force to maybe give the cow a concussion with a lot of luck
@@totalmetaljacket789 Lol, how do you think most animals hunt man? They're trying to conserve energy, not get themselves killed. Other than a few predators that are just so overwhelming they can just body other animals, most are going to take chucks outta their prey until they are too tired and exhausted from exertion and bloodloss to go on.
I was thinking about it and I guess NL is right about the eagle. Their prey is nowhere near our size. I think it has a chance at causing lethal damage but probably loses to a strong human in most cases.
people keep forgetting about how light birds are and that they have hollow bones. if you get one swing of your arm or fist onto the eagle you might be able to cripple it in one hit and if you ever grab it you basically instantly win. the eagle can only really kill you by slashing your neck, which you can mostly protect with your arms. you'll definitely lose a lot of blood so i think NL is right
"They ain't penguins" is so unexpectedly funny
NL forgetting that llamas and deer have the skinniest legs baffles me
NL is almost just as delusional as chat. when they try and gaslight him into thinking a fight with a starfish might be close
"Yeah well there's a story of a goose killing a 98 year old so put it in 50/50"
Insanity
Chat is the kind of guy that would put an ant on "50/50" because a guy in 1762 died after an ant got inside his esophagus and clung there causing him to suffocate
People who think you can kill a deer with your bare hands when it has an intention to kill you are out of their mind, even in nature no single lone wolf attacks a lone deer. They attack in groups, and kill the weakest ones. It takes a couple of wolfs to kill a healthy deer. How do you even imagine killing a deer with your bare hands when naked in an arena? Have you seen their thick, muscular necks? They're walking muscles, and their single kick can snap your bones. If tools are permitted then you could kill most of the animals, but with bare hands it's pretty much impossible. I don't know, maybe damage the brain through the eyes or something, but it's hard to imagine tbh.
13:23 This is one of the best bits I've ever heard
The Llama bit was incredible. He'd rather fight a llama than a deer, but he doesn't know how he'd kill it. It must be wolf tier. Outstanding
The Wolf vs human article is nuts. Sure, unaware and unready, Wolf takes human. Like I could take Mike Tyson if I have wolverine claws and he’s asleep. But in reality, if you’re a human and there’s a wolf hunting you and you get tired before arming yourself? You weren’t even trying bro.
Accurate tier list, with the sole exception of hippo, way too scared to fight those overgrown monsters.
I find it very funny he doesn't have ferret in paint the walls with it. Having handled them before, you can just grab them. They have no offense. Their only defense is being floppy. They weigh a pound. If you stop paying attention long enough they may bite your toe. But its like the same thing as punching an elephant. It would look down and wonder what you're doing
"The crab cannot stop me." These videos are amazing for quote mining.
I think cheetahs are quite possibly the only big cat that belongs anywhere above the torn-to-shreds tier.
here is the thing, when a dog or wolf lunges at you to bite you kick it with everything you have right in the jaw. you will easily break its jaw and the battle is over
NL severely underestimating what it would take to kill relatively docile animals like a turtle makes me laugh every time
What's the turtle going to do tho? You've got infinite free hits.
@Soren Axelson I worked with turtles for a bit and we were told not to put our hands anywhere near their face because it'd genuinely just turn it into pulled pork. Their beak is made for tearing, and if you fought underwater you're not going to be able to generate enough force to kill one with hits. Its like an easy L.
Maybe Ive been gaslit, but I genuinely agree with pretty much everything that NL says...
no you're right and chat is just insane
I think a fair way of thinking about the underwater matchups is having them be in 4 feet or slightly deeper water with the exception of the massive ones like (killer) whales.
Also, this tier list makes me think about how much of a difference having just a pointy stick would make.
You were bullied by Canadian Geese because you were afraid of the social repercussions of hitting them
"Smart Eagle Rant" was so good. I argue it is a 50/50, but had me laughing too hard to care.
Fold a squid hahaha
House cats in DnD 2E- torn to shreds
House cats in dwarf fortress- catsplosion
I think NL isn’t being consistent with “I lose but get a few hits in” and “I win but get a few hits in”. An iguana would def get a few hits in, but for sure lose. Unlike the other animals in the “I paint the walls with their blood” category
One thing in the Deer v Wolf debate is that a single wolf cant actually kill a deer. Thats why they hunt in packs.
if you can meaningfully reach the animal's eyeball you have a chance, it's a disgusting human only tactics but it helps
nah plenty of animals will go for whatever exposed areas they can find, eyes, throat, soft little underbelly etc
But I think the point is that if you really go for it a human hand could probably get into the eyesocket and through the brain
Those questioning his rankings have clearly never experienced one of NLs devastating knee strikes to the temple or windpipe
bro has never heard of choking
I just invented a new game called northernlion, wolf, deer.
Its just rock paper scissors, but you do the rock for northernlion, the trekky "live long and prosper" for wolf and the metal horns for deer.
Trick question, zebras would make incapable mounts, therefore if you jumped on a zebras back and used your weight properly, you could snap it's legs. Dispatching it from there would be child's play. 🧐
all other things being equal the deciding factor is pretty easy, body mass. but if we get detailed about it there's so many open questions about how this supposed fight is setup that the whole thing is pointless.
"An elephant? This is like the ultimate deer", oh my sides.
I find it strange that lobster and crab aren't in the same tier, they're practically the same animal, also humans rip them apart with their bare hands with ease on a regular basis
The hypothetical wolf fight movie had me dying!!
not even 2 minutes in, and he is yelling at chat... This I going to be a good one.
Bruh. I used to have a pit bull that would fetch entire logs, and he loved running between legs, so for my own protection, I had to start halting his charges, by sticking my foot out. He would charge head first into my foot, and deflect. Yeah, he's fast, and he was the strongest dog I've ever seen, but from that experience I think, even with wolves having speed me, I'd be able to predict where their mouth is going and kick it in the head before it bites me. A full power kick to the head wouldn't be easily ignored by a wolf. Do I think the average person has the reaction speed for that? Maybe not if you pluck them out of their peaceful life, but if you picked a gamer, or the person was just ready, and had adrenaline running, there's a more than decent chance. Realistically, the wolves claws won't do enough to kill me, so all I have to do is control its head, and it can't win
no human is beating a hungry wolf
I want to see him do the same list but he has a spear
NL doubling down on Roe being a female deer is crazy
People acting like the wolf in question is a dire wolf. Its just a single bigger more wild dog, if you had at least some will to live you could fight off a wolf to a stand still if not kill it.
Use the paluton, Ruke.
Scare most of the plant eaters, then jog at them til they fall over.
Even a spoon could finish them off.