Men's obsession with women's bodycount
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- čas přidán 13. 09. 2024
- Insecure men can't help but flock to insult and tear down a woman who enjoys her sexuality and let everyone know this type of woman is not their preference as if anyone asked.
They rely on a host of bad and debunked science to insult and degrade, from the overused (and totally untrue) hotdog down a hallway, to make believe about pair bonding and oxytocin because.. voles?
Like any skill it doesn't degrade with practice and we don't shame Chefs for satisfying more people, so let's stop shaming people for enjoying their bodies.
There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship; they're all unique. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've learned that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years back, my wife and I were almost divorcing because we had problems in our marriage, but we managed to work things out. It was a hard time, but we got past it.
I honestly want to be happy too. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart, I can't imagine my life without her; my love for her is strong. I really want her to come back, and I'm fully dedicated to making that happen. We've tried different paths, like therapy, to fix things.
Moving on from someone you hold dear is invariably challenging, but in my experience, I was guided by a spiritual counselor who prevented the breakdown of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Thank you for this advice. I'll promptly start searching for her online. I appreciate it. I'm optimistic that pursuing this approach will also lead to favorable outcomes for me; her absence weighs heavily on me.
You should.. She is amazing.
They aren't really doing the "hotdogs down the hallway" thing anymore, instead they say women with higher body counts can't pair bond.
the pair bonding circuitry is the same in men and women, men call it "player burnout"
I'm a clinical psychologist and I read those studies and they don't even show any causality, only correlation.
So what we know is that people who have many short relationships have difficulties with bonding, btw people who have difficulties with bonding tend to have many short relationships.
Now if you study psychology you learn that attachment issues lead to difficulties in bonding and impulsive behaviour. So we'd expect someone with an attachment issue to score higher in infidelity, higher in divorce, higher in promiscuous behaviour and lower in self esteem, trust and self care. All reasons why relationships don't work out.
If a man wants a woman with a "low body count", then be a man with a low body count, get a life and be kind and not hypocritical. Fall in love with your clothes on. And ignore bro videos. Be a person with a person. Not a judge with a defendant.
Based
Agreed, hypocrisy is never a good look.
This goes for both men and women though (men are not the only ones with double standards!!!!)
Heard a quote years ago. Most men prefer new furniture, but are in the antique-ing business.
virgins want virgins, I would add to that. I've never met a religious virgin who wants to risk STDs from someone else's "fun". Why wouldn't you just sleep around yourself if you're taking on all that risk anyway? The bros cannot handle this information because Hollywood lied to them and said innocent or "pure" women want James Bond. Nah?
Of course there's nothing wrong with wanting one's partner to have similar views on the specialness of intimacy (it does limit one's dating pool, but one might be fine with that).
The issue is with the double standard, and with putting people down for having different views.
I'll be honest, it often sounds like jealousy when men complain about "body counts", which I don't even like the phrase of since I didn't murder anyone, lol. I don't have a high "body count", myself because I only have sex within relationships, but it's extremely unattractive for a man to be worried about how many people you were with before him. Because I've only ever been asked by men who are worried about if they can measure up in the bedroom to my exes, honestly.
The hot dogs down a hallway thing always just made me think that the men talking about it were not well educated in women's bodies enough to have access to them, tbh.
It's almost funny how this comment section went immediately to measuring the logistics and ethics of a woman sleeping with 500 people instead of engaging with the topic of men's wierdo contempt for women enjoying their sexuality.
@@zacharybosley1935 I went to the math in an effort to make their point look silly. Honestly, cis straight dudes are just taking that "entry level job that requires 10 years experience" vibe to the sheets, and it makes just as little sense there.
I mean it's kinda weird to sleep with that many people regardless of gender
@@mo.ka.9661 wierd? Why?
@@zacharybosley1935 because having sex with more than 500 people is a clear sign of either mental illness, substance abuse, or a really unhealthy view of sex. I'm guessing it's the last one.
@@imbatman208 how so? I haven't seen "500+ sexual partners" in any diagnostic criteria
I mean I think that I might be asexual and I’m also a virgin and I wouldn’t date a promiscuous woman because she definitely wouldn’t share my views on sex and intimacy.
Also Ace (though not a virgin, I tried it a couple of times, in my early 20's, and decided it wasn't for me!) And there is nothing wrong with not wanting to date a particular person because of *any* given reason... what is wrong is being rude, cruel, or crude, about someone else because they have different views on intimacy. Also a problem is societies double standard about this kind of thing.
It's sour grapes.
I really appreciate your videos! Thank you for showing that there are still some decent, kind men in the world.
And thanks for the cooking/chef analogy!
Man 44 years old have body count only 46
He does make good point. , more you practise the better your at it, sucks for inexperience. No one should shame anyone for any amount of partner. Health, mental, physical/safety (especially for women), diseases is safer to have less s**ual partner, this is any gender learn self control, this isn't bash more advise. Also ppl with more partner not all, some more likely to cheat, there so used to just tagging along, this doesn't work for ppl that want to invest in relationship
untrue it's a Boomer myth that experience = skill, you can try to dance 100 times with 100 people and if nobody corrects you, still suck at dancing. Most women don't correct men. Somatic narcissism is indicated by "too many" whatever that is. Ask women who got with older "player" men, they are some of the WORST in bed, insisting they "had no complaints". The women just LEFT.
500, she looked under 30, there are 52 weeks a year, so call that one guy a week for 10 years? More than likely not spaced like that, but, doesn't seem near as much when you match it out. Especially if you actually go to an "event" every now and again.
That happens. One a week is normal by guy standards, except they often can't pull much. She could also be a nympho, which is someone with an actual biological difference that forces an addiction to sex- which is often life destroying for them and those around. She could also just be really into gangbangs, or intimate encounters with multiple partners. OR orgies.
People have different sex drives. IT could be once a month to multiple times a day. Trying to say people have to ascribe to one is pretty weird honestly.
Yeah, assuming it is only once a week(it isnt), that is a whole new person literally every week for 10 years 💀 the fact that you wrote this all out and still thought it was ok tells me you're either stupid or you're using this as a way to feel better about yourself. Don't get mad at others for being rightfully disgusted with your repulsive lifestyle
@@seraphilight so that's basically multiple ways of saying she has zero self control or dignity. Yeah nah that ain't the argument you think it is lil bro
Yeah, assuming it is only once a week(it isnt), that is a whole new person literally every week for 10 years 💀 the fact that you wrote this all out and still thought it was ok tells me you're either room temperature iq or you're using this as a way to feel better about yourself. Don't get mad at others for being rightfully disgusted with your repulsive lifestyle
@calebdune6949
What's wrong with enjoying yourself?
Women shouldn't be shamed for their sexual behavior BUT that doesn't mean that men can't have standards!
Men, do not be shamed into accepting a girl that doesn't meet your standards!!!!!
They absolutely should be shamed for it
They NEVER live up to this standards, that's the fun thing. Is like a vegan that hates dating other vegans, makes no sense
@@calebdune6949 Your right, women should be shamed for their degenerate practices
@@calebdune6949 why?
Standards are fine, but a preferred body count is more of a dating preference than a standard. Some men prefer women with experience, some don't. Whereas "standard" implies an objective measure of "good", that one either meets of doesn't.
I don't care about the puritanical reasoning behind wanting a low body count, but from a practical point of view being in a private and vulnerable state with that many men (not at once, obv) is just unsafe. Even if you ignore the health risks, if even 5% were dangerous people that's like what, 25 psychos, for what, a maaaybe fun time? Granted I didn't see the original video, maybe she has some foolproof safety system I'm not aware of.
with me, im in the kink community so its fairly easy. yes that lifestyle attracts psychos but the get highlighted pretty easily. they are not hard t spot at all
No method for anything is foolproof, but you can take steps to reduce risks a lot.
One can certainly do things to mitigate health risks (apart from protection, it's also a crime to lie about one's health status in some places). And it's hard for someone to keep pretending they're a decent person if you poke at that a bit (if someone's just letting themselves be "wooed", they'll probably have a hard time identifying bad people).
Of course, everyone also has their own risk tolerance, and it's perfectly fine to feel that the risks are too great.
Another issue is also that people's criteria for judging whether someone's trustable is also flawed. I've spoken to too many people online who've basically listed off autism, introversion and social awkwardness as being red flags, which is unfairly judging those people while more charismatic bad people would slip through cracks (or the chasm, rather).
She's an adult.
Just because you wouldn't do it doesn't mean she has to follow the same reasoning.
Also, being trained in people reading and self-defense really helps.
@@seraphilight Never said she should follow my reasoning, just shared my point of view, which is, essentially - I don't think dudes are worth the risk.
@@seraphilight and like an adult, she can and should still be shamed for it. Ain't nobody stopping you from being a hoe but don't be crying cuz you're being judged for it
👍 Excellent video.
Subscribed.
I remember someone pointing out that shaming women for having a high “body count” wasn’t just insulting to women, but also insulting to men. They are literally reduced down to “bodies”, not people. It’s toxic and dehumanizing to men and women.
Really it just comes down to guys who can’t get laid looking for something to blame. And I get it, being unable to find a sexual partner is frustrating, but that’s not a good reason to come up with all these crazy generalizations about men and women.
The problem lies in the ramifications the act has on brain chemistry(deterioration of the ability to pair bond) that results in greater rates of divorce and a host of other relationship issues more specific to the individual than broad categorical effects. a good meta-analysis on this topic is: Smith J, Wolfinger NH. Re-Examining the Link Between Premarital Sex and Divorce.
Men with high body counts are more likely to carry diseases that infect women and their unborn babies.
Zero proofs of this, that's paper for everything we can imagine - more a correlation of people having more sexual partners because they spend more time single (due to prefering the singledom state, which correlates to divorce, or by beeing low quality mates, that correlates with the same fate).
Occam Razor , folks.
@@AnaSchultz-kx9tq you can't just say "occams razor" to support your own preferred conclusion when talking about a complex psychological phenomena. My own experience is is that sleeping around did deteriorate my ability to pair bond. It's not just about sex but about the whole modern approach to relationships as transactional, casual, disposable (to which having casual sex is part and parcel)
There are advantages, it is fun, it does not make you a bad person. BUT people who guard their intimacy are also justified in thinking it is something special to be protected, and in wanting partners who have done the same.
@@johnk6757 I didn't say "occam Razor" to support my prefered view but to correct those using "papers" to do so - as said above, modern academia produced papers that claim to prove every absurd imaginable and link their numbers to far fetched, unsuported conclusions.
The link between partner numbers a divorce has many more simple and concise explanations as explained above - why being so obsessed with the fancy idea
of sex "damaging" people ?
Sex never changed my romantic views because sex and intimacy are very different things. Many men can fullfill my desire but just very special ones could really touch my soul. That's how in a "one night stand" I found my DH 17 years ago.
If you really find most women disposable, trust me, they are. Most people are not what we are looking for in a mate and that's ok.
Blah blah blah
I would advice you to date one, I have done once the mistake, never doing again.
Plus, promiscuity of a person like that shows the antagonistic traits she has.
Both men and women who display those behaviors are not good potential partners. But men only shame women.
and he has.