How A Narcissist Reacts When You've Become Too Strong! 💪
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- čas přidán 5. 08. 2024
- If you've ever found yourself entangled in a narcissistic relationship, you know how challenging it can be to break free from their manipulation. But what happens when you start to grow stronger and more self-aware? In this video, we'll explore the narcissist's surprising reactions when they realize they're losing their grip on you. We'll also hear from viewers who have been through the trenches and come out the other side, as well as from Christina, who's here to guide you on your own journey to recovery. Whether you're just starting to recognize the signs of narcissistic abuse or you're well on your way to healing, this video will provide you with valuable insights and support. So, if you're ready to take the next step in reclaiming your power, join us as we navigate the complex world of narcissistic relationships together.
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*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist
00:00 High-Stakes Narcissistic Relationship Game
00:33 Understanding the Narcissist's Moves
00:35 Downplaying YOUR Strengths and THIER Abuse
01:47 Self-Belief vs. Narcissistic Manipulation
02:02 One Viewer's Harsh Narcissistic Betrayal
02:25 You're Not Alone In This
02:49 Yet Another Manipulation Strategy
03:54 Your Winning Hand
04:33 Narcissist Switches Tactics
09:09 Narcissist's Desperate Control Doubles Down
11:19 Narcissist's Isolation Tactics Cut Support
12:56 One Viewer's Story Of Triumph Over Isolation
13:22 The Narcissist Rewrites History
15:45 Standing Strong, Holding Your Truth
16:41 Navigating the Narcissist's Smear Campaign
*Think you may have had a relationship with a narcissist?* Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist
You need to explain how they do it and they tell the truth with small little insidious lies sprinkled in with your friends and family members and that’s why they want you to be vulnerable with you because once they have that if you have a mental illness, they will totally use it against you!!!
My boyfriend's mother is a narcissist. Her rage is unbearable. When I told her that it is not fair to put up with her frustration and rage , she told me to look for another family and that she doesn't plan to change. She is a gold digger and craves for a high status. She tried to gaslight me telling me that I am too feeble and too sensitive.
You just believe in yourself listen to your intuition they are cold and heartless and empty inside I have been no contact for almost a year and it’s never been so calm and quiet if it wasn’t for my kids .. I wish I would have never met this toxic person keep your head up your better without them ❤
NARCISSISM IS SUCH A SERIOUS PROBLEM IT NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT IN HIGH SCHOOLS
nice thought, but will never happen. its soooooo prevalent, totally accepted, and embraced, by society as a whole. this is how are keepers want us to be. go back in your brain cells; remember all the karens/kens from 20yrs ago? there were none, they are also a bi product of our present me me me me mine/take from you, society.
Or we should teach the children to be aware of the fact that such cruel people live among us. Let's not put everything on teachers' shoulders.
@@martaszyszka7654 the system will never, or should it do anything; its up to the parents. the problem there is very few of them truthfully know what one truly is, unless they have been threw it themselves.
I am dealing with a narcissist & alcoholic son 😢
@@user-yj8hh5ym9f you need to pack your bag and leave. they will both drag you right down the sh itter with them.
They Attack what they Lack 🙏
Basically, if you can be independent, you are free from narcissist.
You still won't be free from the attacks. You still have to know how to fight them
Exactly, my sister just told me that I paid the mortgage by luck, this is after she told me my mother is planning to get me out of the family, that I’m not using my last name why I am I in the house, it was WILD that I’m now awake 1:45 I responded and I shouldn’t have, I was doing sooooo well.
I think more specifically it is emotional independence, unless you feel
trapped because you are being financially supported by a narc.
@@A.I-GAMING I guess it depends on a narcissist type, but some wouldn't even support anyone but themselves financially, and some are even thrifty on themselves, saving every penny they can, thinking they would live for a long long time.
Unending thriftiness becomes their habit with no rhyme or reason to it. It makes sense only to them.
@@CAPCAPTAIN
Let them manipulate an empty chair.
Everyone should understand that narcissists target people who they believe they are better than them,it’s not hard to understand the nature of all this insecurity.
If you’re with a narcissist and don’t depend on them.. they don’t want you… you are too strong for them, they want someone to worship them 24/7 and who is weak and dependent on them… the reason being, they can control them so easily.
Well said, even pastors and religious leaders can be narcs, sad to say. They all want people who will act in obsequious posture towards them, which, btw, is not Biblical at all. The Scripture calls a pastor to be an 'under-shepherd' a humble servant of all who puts others above himself; -- not a proud, domineering 'over-lord' who expects others to serve him. The former is to be like Jesus; the latter is more like the Devil, really.
@@randy_cbc8811 - Amen brother! They have demons who are controlled by Satan himself who wants to be worshipped by mankind and even tried to get Jesus to worship him as found in scripture but Jesus would not bow! Praise God! He is our sin substitute. The Holy sinless perfect One Jesus Christ of Nazareth (God in the flesh!) ! >>>> Matthew 4:3-11 And when the tempter (the devil) came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.
4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
5 Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple,
6 And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.
7 Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.
8 Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;
9 And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.
10 Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.
11 Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.
We will not bow to Satan either! We only bow to King Jesus- the Only One worthy of all our PRAISE, WORSHIP AND ADORATION! ! Hallelujah!
>>> And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood, And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen.
I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty. \0/ Thank-You JESUS!
I can relate to the comment made about how a narcissist wants you to depend on them and worship them. This is absolutely true! I had been dealing with a narcissist who was my landlord and boss. She targeted me when I dared to do what is best for the animals we are trusted to care for. She confronted me about why I didn't follow the rule she made and I explained to her various reasons her rule made no sense and how it goes against safety guidelines she should be aware of. For every bogus reason she gave for me to no longer be able to do what I was doing, I had a way around it. This enraged her! Especially when I told her to her face that the reasons she gave made no sense and were stupid. That I believe was the beginning of the end. She kicked me out and fired me. Little dose she know I couldn't be happier to be free from her bullshit!
8:47 This part!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 If you trust your own mind, memory, and judgement, no gaslighter will be able to win.
SO TRUE!!❤
If a narcissist tells me no one else would want me, I say hallelujah! After having a narcissist I couldn't want anyone else. Being alone is awesome 😎👍👍!
Dont let them destroy Your life ❤
I got that exact sentence too😢
I told my narc brother, and flying monkey brother, when our needy elderly parents are gone, we can burn the bridges, what's left. Hi ho silver lining!
The silent treatment is truly God sent
A few nights ago I had a nightmare that I got back with my narcissistic ex. Woke up feeling extremely anxious.
That sounds terrifying. Must have been a relief to wake up from that dream! 🙏❤️
OH man. I had those recurring nightmares for years after getting out of a narc relationship. At the time (over 20 years ago) I didn't know anything about narcissism or have the language for that type of psychological abuse so since have read that these nightmares are a "normal" part of the recovery. Like they're little mini trauma flashbacks as our mind processes what happened. My recurring dream was that I was somehow back in a relationship with this person and the feeling in the dream was one of utter hopelessness. Sometimes in my dream I would remember I was with my now husband and it provided some feelings of relief. Thankfully they weren't very often but I understand the feeling one has during the nightmares and upon waking. It's terrible and it's almost as if it's real. I'm so sorry you are going through this!
@@charettebyreddog2477 I appreciate your response to my comment. In my dream I also had the feeling of hopelessness, like there was no way out! In my dream she was love-bombing me again, but I knew what was going to happen next. My relationship with my narc ex ended only 3 years ago, so recent yet at the same time feels both so long ago and so recent!
sheeeeit, thats nothing. i had a dream about my ex wife. now thats a nightmare. lol
Those dreams are the worst lbs
Indifference to the narcisist and all of their BS is the beautiful outcome of healing from the horrible abuse those evil driven individuals inflicted onto us. Once you reach the point of becoming indifferent to their pathetic manipulation s and games, you are set free. Thank you Jesus for setting us free.❤
They go crazy when "the grey rock" method is used and "no contact" they have to know you are indifferent and have zero feelings , emotions or reactions to their antics. I drove a psychopath away with using these tactics. I'm loving myself because this scared him and he left and he did confirm that I was too strong for him.
Yay, “the truth shall set you free!” 🥳
I love the comment about autistic memory! I’m not an “autism is my super power” person, but when dealing with my narc, my autism absolutely saved my bacon!
I have just blocked and began no contact for about a week now. I've been threatened and promised to be hurt by him. I will never go back or allow the abuse to continue. I will report if he appears anywhere near me. Please 🙏🏽 pray for my protection and removal of this narcissistic man.
If someone threatens you....that's where Police need informing. That's abusive. Lay low....and heal. Be very clever and strategic. Document everything.
Let him know you got something for him if he dares to come anywhere near you. Bullies like people they know are afraid. Let them know you will "F" them up
Hope it's going well.
Restraining order.
Same here😢
Their favorite thing to say was "You're so hyperbolic, you blow everything out of proportion" any time they would be confronted with their poor behavior.
Or your acting crazy..
Or you're too sensitive.
The good thing is if you keep on staying strong eventually
The narcissist will leave you- BUT they’ll make up a lie that you caused the break up 🤣🤣🤣- really ? Remember the narcissist HAS TO WIN
You the strong one will say ok you won but say it calmly and with apathy with no reaction
they really never win at anything. perpetual losers. hands down champions of self destruction/bad decision making.
Always waiting for the next 👡shoe to drop. What you described is Cult tactics, separating/ isolating people from their friends and family.
💯
Nailed it! Signing off, a fellow guy named Matt (who also escaped a woman gone wrong who tried that game on me too)
They mean “work.” They have to put in a lot of “work” to control you. When they say, “you won’t find someone as patient as me.”
when you consider the beauty and the possibilities within every relationship, it's beyond tragic and sad..and what makes it especially sad is that some people don't even know that there's a beautiful alternative which creates happiness..
don't even know, or do they want to know. all a narc knows is take, destroy everything they come in contact with, and this includes self destruction.
They lash at us and when we leave they call us unloving. What do you want from me?
When you get stronger, they go into terminator mode. 😂 They go after your finances, your relationships and slander your reputation just to feel like they have the power. They're pathetic individuals who gets their karma eventually. And majority of the time they always try to come back when their supplies "fail" to accommodate them. 😂 Please do not accept them ever again. Tell them to kick rocks and move on.
After not liking the abuse and letting it be known then I'm told that ... I was pouting & she doesn't feel like walking on eggshells around me... WAIT! So I don't like the Neglect, Triangulation & Confusing Power Plays and let it be known that I'm upset, and now She feels like She's walking on eggshells 😖🤯🥴 BLAME SHIFTING 101! Never Admitting her cunning power plays... Super Thanks for Decoding this Narc 💩
I lived with a Narcissist for 10 years and eventually got out I turned myself into the person I wanted to be Strong Independent and Happy!
I met a woman I was in school with and Couldn’t believe when things started to have that familiar ring to It !
This Narcissist turned out to be way worse than the last One !
What I had learned from these experiences and my journey to be the Person I wanted to be was I was attracting this type of person and it was related to how my childhood was !
What I learned was this Attention is what most of this is about !
No matter what stay quiet turn the other cheek and learn to Love Yourself !
The best thing you can ever do is be a success in your own Life !
That is a bitter pill for every Narcissist Ever 🙏🏻❤️
Dude, I'm 50 and I used to think that was crazy talk as a guy when I was in my 20s. Yet the psychological model you speak of was totally correct that they told us back in the '90s! (Or me if you're my age). Don't beat yourself up because they don't show up that way initially of course. Love bombing morphs into sporadic DEVALUTION years later. Until it becomes a so harsh that you can't take it anymore!
I started saving entire text conversations and recording other interactions in my phone’s notes with dates and details like a journal. After 5 years of this-and discovering that I’m autistic-I went back and reviewed it all and saw the _very clear pattern_ and suddenly was able to end our relationship. Rather than relying on my memory-which it turns out is very good!-I had receipts. She finally gave up the breadcrumbing and got very frustrated with me. GOOD!
My X left me for a rebound guy after a few years together. I noticed the change from the beginning of the relationship to the end. In the end my X noticed that her lack of attention and intimacy, manipulation, gaslighting and control wasn't working on me any more. I never felt better when she left the relationship. My X didn't provide closure. But I don't care at this point. For those who experienced similar problems. Be aware that your partner will take advantage of your financial access before they leave. So make sure that you prevent and lock any important information they will use.
How long ago was this ?
Running into her after a fall out a year ago and been friends for 30 some years... Priceless...I'm gonna walk away and say Nothing!!!! I'm not scared anymore!
Sitting duck was I. Totally unprepared!
I’m not scared of any of them.
I’m just constantly bored of them being about and trying to get to me by targeting family members.
That certainly hit home. When I caught my husband on a local dating site and confronted him he said I was over reacting as he was just window shopping. Close cousins to having a pet. The level of cruelty that pours out of them like water. Amazing
Had similar dint b daft darling he ru. Bath made coffee if u think I.. doing that I'll go now ect overtime they get worse a d more scary
Over the past few years, I gradually became too strong and capable for my covert narcissistic adoptive father.
He died two days ago.
When my ex couldn’t get to me anymore, he would start putting down everything around me and literally looked possessed.
Narcissists play three dimensional chess while the rest of us are playing checkers.😂
Yes, I don't know to play on their level.
THANK YOU GOD🙏
Omg i’ve experienced all of this. It’s been almost 8 months and this man still making up lies even though i’m done. I told him moths ago im done and after the tells me to move on lol. Im like that’s what i been trying to do the narcissism is real.
"Its not cheating, its just a little thingy I did, little mistake"
"You're weak, your family is weak"
"Your brother doesnt care about you, he just uses you"
"You physically abused me, and you abuse your children"
"You're sick, you're a psychopath"
"Everything you think about me is wrong"
"I told my children and "friends"(other men, supplies) that you are a sick man and what you did to me"
The list of betrayel is endless..
What hurt me the most is the false accusations about me physically abusing women and children. It is so discusting to me it makes me physically sick when I think about it. Her children hate me over a bunch of discusting lies
most of those points are probably projections of what she thinks about herself, and the things she knows about you which can hurt you the most. Vindictive demons. People will recognize the real person in the future. So time is on your side. Stay Kind, try to learn stoic control of your emotions and just be a good person with integrity. The People who are worth to be in your life will come back to you :) have faith and good luck
@@ruyko6300 thank you for your kinds words.
I'm trying really hard. But the pain and pity remain. It will be ok in the end. Thank you👍🏻👊🏻
I think everyone would feel the same in your awful situation and I can barely comprehend the pain youve been through. Stay strong and keep moving. In the end everything is gonna be alright @@willemkoppier4540
Now it all makes sense to me! I am someone who sadly struggles with health issues, mostly auto-immune. He once said to me that I am sick because of how I am like, because of my stupidity and stubbornness. Needless to say my only reaction was wtf. I am confident overall so I am not sure there is anything anyone can say to take that away from me but he definitely tried. And I assume because it never worked all he could say is how masculine and domineering I am. Your video helps me understand why his 'trying to help me' was so absurd, I don't think he was trying to help me but to control me.
Plus, their deep shame (/“I’m a bad person.”) prevents them from taking accountability.
This sounds like a whole video on the narcissists projection!!
Mine started attacking me as a parent. But was completely unsuccessful, because I was that confident in how good of a parent that I am. But he tried so hard, because he knew how important it was for me to be a good parent.
my fav move when dealing with one is leaving. 0 contact. i use this method for narcs, and non narcs alike.
He one day told me in anger that, i think my place is nicer than his. Then i realized he had always been jealous of me.
Near the end of my narcissistic relationship, he would say..."Take what you can get"!
My job is all in my brain, my exes job was all in his hands. He was a carpenter. He used to say 'you couldnt do my job' which i used to reply 'i don't want to do your job - that's why i do mine - one day ill get paid just as much but my back wont be broken' and he'd get all mardy and angry and start being a pr##k.
Fantastic breakdown of narcissistic behaviors! The clear explanations of how narcissists react when their control wanes have been eye-opening. It serves as a reminder that recognizing our own worth and maintaining it is our greatest defense against manipulation. Truly a must-watch for anyone questioning their relational dynamics!
Thank you Christina for your encouraging e-mails that always show up in my inbox with perfect timing for how I'm feeling. These e-mails and your videos are 50% of the reason why I'm still standing after being crushed in every way by my narcissistic ex-husband. Him discarding me and disappearing from my life just over 1 month ago after abusing me emotionally, psychologically, verbally and physically for 5 years is a TRUE BLESSING as I was unable to discard him first 'cause he kept hoovering me each time I did and I was too weak to resist his hoovering.
I've learned SO MUCH on Narcissism from your channel and this has helped me immensely to not break down, to stay strong, walk away and move on. All things I never though I could do.
Thank you 100X 🙏🏻
yes in my experience , narcs make every attempt to drive a wedge between you and your support system and they literally want to completely isolate you for a better control
FIRST OF ALL , A PERSON SHOULDN'T BE WITH A NARCISSIST !!!!!! PERIOD !!!!!
In an ideal world, yes. Unfortunately it’s not easy or possible for everyone to leave right away
@@CommonEgo Nor is it easy to recognize (before it's too late) that you're dealing with a narcissistic person, I suspect.
totally agree. the problem is few know exactly what they are dealing with.
one of the worst things about being with one is 'not knowing'. im not stupid, but if you dont fully understand narcissism, your screwed. several months after i permanently kicked her to the curb, i was busy cooking in the kitchen, had u tube randomly playing for background noise. half paying attention, a man starts describing her, and her narc actions to a T. shut down kitchen duty, and spent the next several hrs watching narc vids. not only did the vids explain everything, they also explained her odd behavior. they are nothing more than lost, butt hurt children, living in a adults body. that was 9yrs ago, and if that vid would not have randomly popped up, i would most likely still be in the dark to this day. their entire mental dysfunction is very hard for a normal mind to understand. it was nice of black jesus to toss me that bone, giving me clarity/understanding.
That's why they call it them "WEARING A MASK" because they don't show up as they really are until a half year (or two years at the very least) later in many cases
@@randy_cbc8811Agreed, Randy! It's the fight for your life out of nowhere to escape the hell that missy sprung upon you when it comes to crazy women, indeed!
This was very encouraging 👏
You are always stronger than you think you are. Go no contact and develop a new support system. If your a genuine and authentic person there will be people glad to have you among their circle of friends. Good video.
5:30--Mrs CE is right here when she talks about their classic STAGE 4 tactic of them playing HARD TO GET when it comes to the using reverse psychology to try to trick us back into "chasing them!"
Mine made the mistake to become angry and open herself with be honest the first time. She shared open here thoughts 😆. I thank here and said goodbye😜
boy, when that mask falls off its amazing. thats exactly when it happens, when they are angry. mask falling off is a part of their self destruction mode. not only do they like seeing you miserable, they love being miserable themselves, do to hate.
I stand up to the covert narcissist. I think he finally gave up trying to gaslight me and his stupid mind games. Im the super empath.
It took me a while to realize i was with a narcissist now its time to play my Game 🎯
I was told that other men wouldnt care about my kids the ways he did. «Because other men are not like me»
They are all so special and "built different" aren't they? 🙄
My Narc and I were together for 30 years and when she found out I was on to her she said I think you should see a doctor I think you are loosing your marbles.And then later she said,the thing you have to get through your thick skull my friends are more important to me than you are.
Thank you so much for sharing Christina. Your video's and lessons are great! We can learn so much from you.
when the narc is a family member you can't have them as support, it has to be your close friends
I dealt with everything that’s in this video and literally still get called the narcissist when everything that you have said she has done to me and it’s hard to actually talk about it because it felt like I was nothing to her and didn’t matter but now since I noticed the more, I actually keep my distance away from her and block her and things get better
Thank you for this information!
Mrs. Christina is on point.
I really enjoy your advice.
What about if your narcissist is your younger sister as in my 40 yo younger sister trying to burn me to the ground. I after years of therapy and not speaking to her for 4 years she hates that I’m not reacting to her like I once did when she had so much power over me. I had to let her back into my life because my dad was dying. He died Sunday. She did some dirty shit that day. I have been the one caring for him for years and she hated that I got recognition for a job well done by the hospice nurses. She thinks everything is a competition. She put all the work into me but wants recognition for doing nothing/things she never did. Whew ok rant over. I miss my daddy but he isn’t suffering anymore
A big YES to you. I went through this all my life by my sister's Christmas that my raging mom would say let's open one gift at a time. My parents lavish gifts for my sister's kids. My son is getting NOTHING
This was done on purpose by my mom
My Parents are going to my sister's graduation from the Army and lavishness to her. She did it just to scam money from the Army to keep playing the flute. When I got home from Basic training, what was the first thing my mother told me "O" you haven't changed the things that were printed in my dad's memorial about me was just sick. I believe my sister wrote the words. About me drifting away, not me coming there ( all about my sister kids Christmas) my son felt so miserable and did not understand the Family Christmas
The most outrageous thing said at my Dad's memorial was a teacher friend of my parents all she did when it can time to say things about my dad. All she did was talk about her being this great lookut young lady when my dad first met her. Then that same day, asking my sister the Ex of will, if her son could just move into my parents home. That same day my sister E- mailed the JUST family member to have JUST family get together at my parents home, this BITCH and that's what this teach workplace friend of my parents was. She self invited my sister's E-mail I don't know if my sister did that on purpose or forgot to not send it to everyone.
Of course I did not go. I hear late there was a huge blow out at my dad's property. Over just the kids using my parents rowboat. One sister told my other sister kids, that it was her boat, they could NOT use it. This was ALL my parents property
My family is such an EGO crap festival. SORRY for being long winded. Growing up any family get together be it Holiday or birthdays was just unbelievable. Especially for my son, who was just treated like crap at these events. Him never knowing why. My whole family is such a disaster. My wife talks to her MOM daily, helps her out, I look at a real family on my wife's side, and I just do not understand my Family. My Grandfather was a great man. He showed me how to fix septic lines, he showed me how to replace the toilet. I will never understand what the "F" happened with my DAd and mom.
Your sister sounds like my sister two years older than me. Although my youngest sister, about ten years younger, is just as bad.
Peace to you, sister. You don't need to punish narcs, because they are already very unhappy. Stear clear of them. Find your place of peace, and don't allow anyone to move you.
Mine said you’re just an angel, you’re perfect! So untrue ! Projection. Am open to admitting errors and correction; which they are incapable of
I guess I’m at stage 4 where he constantly picks fights about everything.
Edit - actually we’re much later. He’s gotten physical.
try leaving. your only win is leaving him, before he replaces you; and chances are, he already has. ps. dont tell him your leaving, just do it.
Please it's so hard to leave..I did it 5 years ago...He is destroying your mental health on top of any physical injuries he might inflict... Fractured ribs was one of my injuries... Freedom is so sweet ❤❤❤❤Prayers and luck
On desperate control: would a covert stealth file divorce papers?
In mediation session it sounded like she "didn't know how I would react."
On isolation: she wanted me out of the house (can't have me sleep in another room keeping to myself), attempted to use my family in a smear campaign, I've heard she has engaged in the social media stuff, she attempted something with one of my co-workers, and fully attempted to alienate the kids (succeeded in doing so with one). Etc.
On rewriting: I've seen this kind of happen over the last couple decades in general.
"Mansplaining" as though I need obvious things explained to me & help with figuring things out lol thanks capt obvious. I couldn't have completed this task w/o you pointing out the obvious as though I am an idiot & need simple things explained. Good thing I have your around to put me down & tell me I am incapable lol
i am in the process of regaining back my control from the narc. and her response is sort of downplaying my strength by saying we will see how long it goes and will see who is the ultimate winner
These talks are my support family
I think it’s important to hold on to THE truth and not YOUR TRUTH
The Narcs latch onto that phrase to rewrite history ‘It’s my truth’
No.
What is THE truth?
Actually my N-ex said that I wasn't good enough. Also he said he wanted to be celibate, he was scared of how much he loved me and blamed me for leaving when he was discarding me himself🙄. Yes, I couldn't keep my promise to never leave him as he made it totally impossible for me to stay. And he reminded me my promise after I left, very sick man😑. I met another narc after unfortunately but covert and I got tired of his mindf*CK behaviour too, so he's an ex also😁. And I'm totally allergic now to narc and abusive men and also women. Woohoo 🙌🎉
I am dealing with narcissist at this moment. I did the whole steps to the point no contact . But the thing is now he made another account just to say how sorry for the actions and how he treated me . Mainly saying that he still have feeling of "attachments " towards me.
He’s lying!!! Don’t take him back…. Believe me when I say NARCISSISTS NEVER CHANGE and they are NEVER SORRY!!!!
Forget words. Watch actions. This is hoovering. You want no contact. He is disrespecting your boundary, already, with that other account.
Can you do a video on Splitting? And why that happens … to partners of people with this disorder? Please and thank you! 🙏🏼
So true.
I need this class bad.
Awesome vedio.
Thank you 🙏❤️
Why do i feel like a narc now only because i told him after 2 years " no one else would have stayed as long as i did, would be so patient while you continuously hurt me, i guarantee you they would have left you"... like... i am in therapy because of my ex (got C-PTSD from this), he is using phrases now like " dark nights have the brightest stars" while he is with his new GF (he discarded me and was already with her)
Somehow i feel like i was the problem, the narc... all i gave was my love, devotion, loyalty while he yelled, gaslit, and other stuff...
Its a weird feeling of.. " am i losing it?!"
So much too offer, me. That was a then, n this is now!
I love him and i can't do anything about it
But he is everything you say
Narcissist are very clever. My Ex had Me in a love triangle. He would Be real nice the week He wanted to see Me, then He would cause an argument, because He knew how to trigger Me so We could have a ulgy argument. We would not talk for a month or so. While We were in no contact, He would be entertaining Someone else, or finding a new supply. This was happening for 2 years. I let Him go. I got tired of the put downs making everything My fault, I was insecure, Jealous, and over reacting about everything. Now I realize it was Him. I will never be in a situation like that again.
Diminishing your strengths:
1) you’re too logical
2) you sound like a psychologist
3) you’re “cold”
4) you’re too professional
5) you’re turning our relationship into a business-ship (when I tried to have an adult conversation).
I wanted to discuss expectations because he wanted to marry me and live with me …
But he didn’t want to have adult conversations about it.
😐
@dragonflymagictarot1180
Because he’s NOT an Adult Lol
Narcissist are Toddler minded petulant children, who lack emotional maturity or wisdom.
You perfectly described my 2yr experience with a trauma therapist as a client. It was all about the money. She robbed me of my life savings. 13 months no contact and only now starting to regain my psyche. Had to find a new therapist to heal from a therapist. Seriously thats messed up. How can I prove it to get her license pulled?
Hard to prove. I tried to get recorded therapy sessions, but no therapist, I asked, would agree to it, even with a waiver of right to use it in court. So, I don't trust these pill pushers..
Both of my parents are Narcissists
The goddess is our hope, don't forget your first love, the goddess loves you.
Mine tells me all the time that no one will ever love me as much as he does, as though I am unlovable 😅
I experienced all of those points 😂
I had her call me one and she tried to push my buttons and hurt me and disrespected me and I called her out on her behaviour but I got emotional and swore at her and hung up I feel bad that she got me to lose control
she kinda won that round. your winning round is 0 contact.
@CommonEgo - The very definition of bluffing means:
'to deter or frighten by pretense or a mere show of strength'
'card games : to deceive (an opponent) by a bold bet on an inferior hand'
How does that work with a NARC because that would be admitting or acknowledging that they *have an inferior* hand? At least on some level that is self awareness that they are not as strong as what they make themselves out to be? They would be too easily detected as bluffing every time they made an attempt to.
Good point, but that’s the whole reason for “bluffing”… ….it’s to hide your ignorance, inferiority or lack of strength.
Which is the complete Narc lexicon of behaviour. 🙄🤫🫣
@@spaceskipster4412 I’m not sure if you’re being sarcastic. Perhaps you have missed my point entirely.
The definition of a NARC is a lack of self awareness and not acknowledging or admitting to an inferior hand.
In order to bluff he would be saying to himself *I KNOW I AM INFERIOR* that’s in contradiction to what a NARC actually is. It’s oxymoronic. Therefore I think it’s logically fallacious that a NARC can even bluff.
Rather they play that hand as though it was ALWAYS SUPERIOR with no need to bluff at all, at least in their own minds they truly believe it is.
@@ChariotOfFaith nope not being sarcastic. Just pointing out that they all seem to have the same playbook. They bully their target because they're weak, wanting to appear stronger. Hence the bluffing.
@@spaceskipster4412 I just watched 'Amazing Amy' in 'Gone Girl'....I recommend you watch it if you haven't seen it. Good movie :) They don't *all* have the same playbook, i guess what you are looking at here is a different level of sohpistication in mainuplation gameplay.
good vid
At some point they become very predictable. Going back to The same blame you for this and then flipping and love bombing you. At The end i could predict almost every Word she would say when she had her insecure moments. Feel sorry for her. But Its not my responsibility to feed her toxic needs. Life is to short
@CommonEgo, Is being diagnosed with narcissism a game breaker? Can a narcissist become a better person through therapy, or should they be discarded? Are they doomed to be alone and labelled as an evil narcissist person? There are so many symptoms that overlap with other diagnosis - how can we tell narcissism apart from something like being deficient in empathy? Does that alone make someone a narcissist? Is narcissism learned, or are people just born like this?
Does this apply also to Covert Narcissists? It’s so much tougher to be sure if it’s the same kinds of tactics when it’s so much more hidden than some of the examples that you give, and isn’t a romantic relationship. I’d love if you could offer more covert tactics in these videos!
This happened to me at a job that I thought would work out. It was creepy and infuriating...
I see a common number in the stories of those who have had to endure narcissistic abuse in a marriage. It seems right around the 24-year Mark is when things finally start to unravel or dissolve? Anyone else notice this?
Are addicts = narcissists ?
There is a 24/7 dope smoker in our house. Often I find my room filled with that drug - When I complain about it, he aggressively shouts that I am molesting him ..and he truly believes it - that is sickening.
Is moving out the only option I have here
( calling the police is no longer possible since the government just legalized Marihuana...🤯)
I wish CZcams was existing 24 years ago so I could find out that my ex was a narcissist. So I wouldn’t waste 13 years of my life with him. I have experienced all the things you mentioned in my 13 years of marriage. Also after 10 years of divorce he doesn’t let go of me. He gets the Iranian new refugees to gang up against me. And they implement the same tactics to harass and abuse me. But I am much stronger after learning what’s narcissistic abuse and how to deal with the tactics.
4:14
Narc: You'll never find another
Me: And you'll never find another
We were both wrong. I found another narc (which I recognized and ended it quickly) and she found another people-pleasing codependent to manipulate and abuse. I am focussed on healing me, not being a people-pleaser, setting strong boundaries, etc.... she'll never change, she'll just monkey branch to the next guy when this one catches on.
4:14 I did leave, they didn't. I am monitored, tracked, and the manufacturered pariah everywhere I merely try to live without monkey handed proxy abuse. I want to know HOW MANY DECADES DO I NEED TO "HOLD ON" BEFORE SUCCUMBING TO THE INEVITABLE, WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY NOT GOING TO ANY ABUSER, SET UP, OR NEW FRESH HELL?
When I started pointing out to the narcissist what they've been doing to me I was called senile ! Hehe
I am a narcissist to my ex narcissist
Similiar: "Make sure you don't pass out" definitely DID NOT see that coming as manipulation until after I was dependent completely..... I have a syncopal condition diagnosed before the relationship, but I went from 3-4 episodes a year to 3-4 a day/week. Now that I started standing up for myself and setting boundaries again (although still living with the narc), I haven't passed out in weeks.
If the joke is meant to point out your flaws, embarrass you, or if you just do not think it is funny; then it isn't funny and you do not need to justify that to receive validation from someone who is healthy. These jokes have an impact on your psychological well-being, and anyone who cares about that will respect that.
I told mine I have sexsomnia so they raped me in my sleep. Wish I never indulged that information.
They will leave you, LOl,Thank You NARC
My bf used to praise mt memory,until it's me telling him something he said that hurt me.
Then he goes "did i say that? I think you misunderstood." Or "sometimes i feel you make.up these things because you know I have bad memory and want to use that to make me feel bad" 😤
Same here.