Steve Poltz - The Son Of God

2024 Tour Dates ➡️poltz.com/concerts
June 15 • Coventry Grove Amphitheater • Kensington, CA
June 19-22 • Rancho La Puerta • Tecate, Baja CA
June 23 • Sawtooth Valley Gathering • Stanley, ID
July 5-6 • High Sierra Music Gathering • Quincy, CA
July 8 • Trinidad City Hall • Trinidad, CA
July 10 • Fry Family Farm • Medford, OR
July 13-14 • Oregon County Fair • Veneta, OR
July 16-19 • Rancho La Puerta • Tecate, Baja CA
July 26 • Newport Folk Festival • Newport, RI
Aug 10 • Hoptonk Tavern • Novato, CA
Aug 17 • Park City Song Summit • Park City, UT
Aug 18 • Park City Song Summit • Park City, UT
Aug 24 • The Ashokan Center • Olivebridge, NY
Sept 19-20 • Americana Festival • Nashville, TN
Oct 7-13 • A Musical Sojourn • Portugal
Oct 25 • The Ark • Ann Harbor, MI
Oct 30 • The Union Street • Berwick, NS
Oct 31 • The Frolic & Folk Pub & Grill • Iona, NS
Nov 1-3 • The Carleton • Nova Scotia, HF, CAN
Nov 6 • Isabel Bader CPA • Kingston, ON, CAN
Nov 7 • Shenkman Arts Center • Ottawa, ON, CAN
Nov 8 • St Paul’s United church • Perth, ON, CAN
Nov 9 • St Paul’s Center • Orillia, ON, CAN
Nov 10 • Aeolian Hall • London, ON, CAN
Nov 11 • The Great Hall • Toronto, ON, CAN
Nov 13 • Meaford Hall • Meaford, ON, CAN
Nov 14 • Market Hall • Peterborough, ON, CAN
Nov 15 • The Biltmore Theatre • Oshawa, ON, CAN
Nov 16 • Royal City Mission • Guelph, ON, CAN
Nov 17 • Fort Williams Historical Park • Thunder Bay, ON, CAN
Nov 19 • West End Cultural Center • Winnipeg, MAN, CAN
Nov 21 • KMSC Law Performing Arts Theatre • Grand Prairie, ALB, CAN
Nov 22 • Myer Horowitz Theatre • Edmonton, ALB, CAN
Nov 23 • River Park Church • SW Calgary, ALB, CAN
Nov 24 • Vernon & District Performing Arts Centre • Vernon, BC, CAN
2025 Tour Dates
Feb 28 - Mar 7 • Cayamo Cruise • Miami, FL
Lyrics:
The son of god contacted me about buying some funk and wagnalls encyclopedias
I said hello who’s this?
It’s Jesus
Jesus who?
Jesus, God’s son
How’d you get my number?
I have everyone’s number
Even Bono?
He’s on speed dial
Rad What up Jez
We have a storage unit in heaven that we’re paying rent on and we wanna downsize
Who’s we?
Me and dad ummm God
God pays rent for a storage unit?
We all do It’s a subscription that never ends you think you can’t take it with you well I’m here to tell you that in fact you have to and it gets so pricey
We still have to pay for membership fees in heaven?
Yeah man. Netflix. Amazon prime. And even another Netflix account under an older email that you forgot you were paying on.
What about hell?
Everything’s free in hell except for your soul Ever since the devil went down to Georgia shits been fucked up.
Do you kiss your dad goodnight with that mouth? And does god get a share of the profits?
He gets a percentage of the storage unit fees and some Netflix too but Bezos blocked him from Amazon profits. So he’s going broke. Lumber prices etc inflation
Well, I’m a child of god so I guess I’ll take some encyclopedias but I don’t really need em. All the answers are in our hands. In out phones.
Dude. Help me out. My dad is pressuring me to sell sell sell. I’ll change yer water into wine and give you a free get into heaven card.
Ok. Thanks. I love you Jesus.
That’s what they all say. Except old beelzebub. He just plays rock n roll with Chuck berry.
That sounds like fun! Does hell have taco Tuesday?
Only heaven. Every. Single. Day. Is taco Tuesday.
Where will Dylan end up?
Hmmmm. He just turned 80. Lemme check. Looks like his score is tied. Depends on his next record.
Hasn’t Bob Dylan done enough? I’d like to go where he goes.
Not so fast Abernathy. I know your history. You’re gonna need a get into heaven free card.
Well then I’ll take all your encyclopedias. You scratch my back and I guess I’ll scratch yours
Here’s your card. You’re all set. I’ll see you.
I’ll see you all in heaven. I’m a goin to the promised land. Thank god for bribery blackmail And the son of god and the lamb And bob Dylan. I hope he gets in. To heaven. I mean the promised land.
Amen.