is it okay if i don't feel comfortable calling myself queer because i have been physically abused while being called that word? of course this only applies for myself, meaning that I won't go around saying "don't use that word!!!", but i just don't want to use that for myself because it brings back memories surrounding heavy trauma.
Personal preference and PTSD triggers are entirely different. As long as you're not trying to police how others express themselves, of course you should avoid doing things that are connected to trauma for you.
It means you have common sense. It's a slur. There's no reason to use it. It literally means "weird". No one will take us seriously if we call ourselves that instead of just saying what we are. Anyone who uses it is pretentious, selfish, & evil.
Incredibly well phrased and a wonderful contribution to the argument. Out of curiosity, do you think it makes sense to pair the word queer with other identifiers (kind of like how people can pair Buddhism w other religious affiliations? For example, queer and/or ace?
I think it depends on the person. I really do see queer as an umbrella term, while terms like ace and trans refer to more specific identities. So I guess it depends on the context of the conversation.
Personally, I love the word queer. It’s older meaning is something like “strange” but not in a bad way exactly. At least that’s what it always seemed to be to me. I think that to identify yourself as queer is inherently anti-assimilationist because it says “yes, we are different from you, that’s why you hate us. Society *will* need to change to accommodate us” and to me that’s so powerful. Assimilation always seems to mean that some people are left out in the cold because it means creating space in the current societal framework for *some* queer people, wether that’s cis gender conforming gay people who want nothing more than to get married and have kids or straight gender conforming binary trans people. Not that there’s anything wrong with being either of those things, but we need to include everyone. I also like how it’s a label with so much freedom in it I think. It makes it hard for people to categorize you into their little stereotype boxes. I would love to use it for myself more (or at all let’s be honest) but I don’t have the confidence to claim that I belong under the queer umbrella even though I unassailably qualify and it would even help resolve some conflict I have with my current labels. I have a hard time believing that any people who are “straight with extra steps” are using it to invade anyone’s spaces.
YES TO ALL OF THIS. It reminds me of the old protest chant, "We're here, we're queer, get used to it." Queer to me is a label that demands to be seen and allowed to take up space, and I love that.
From another queer witch, thank you. For me, queer is the word that covers all the aspects of me. I don't have one single letter in the LGBTQIA+ that fits me, I'm not just the B, I'm also the A and the T (as an enby). So in group spaces queer is a word that embraces all of me, not those different aspects. It also means I don't have to go into detail with things that I might not be comfortable disclosing at that time. And to be honest, it's also a feeling of rebellion and community. We're here, we're queer, get used to it. Anyway, good video, well thought out and well phrased. Good job!
btw every gender identity is in the trans community. If you're not cis, you're trans, that's what the colour white in the trans flag is. The white is the enby spectrum. Sooooo every identity that's outside of the binary is in the non-binary spectrum. If you're not cisgender, then you're in the trans community. Idk if you can research this, but I found this out from a bunch of lgbtqa+ accounts on Instagram. It's fun to learn about these things yk. Like I'm genderfluid, but I feel more trans masc most of the time. that makes me trans, but genderfluid is under the enby spectrum.
For sure. "Trans" is an umbrella term, which includes nonbinary, genderfluid, etc. Unfortunately there are some folks who want to force trans people to "pick a gender," which can be really harmful. That's more of what I'm talking about in this video.
I think this is reductive, especially the title. Queer is a slur because it has innately negative meaning, and its historical and contemporary usage heavily connotate that negative meaning with LGBT people. The truth is I'm not strange or odd for being transgender and a lesbian, and nobody else is strange or odd for not being cis-het, these are entirely normal things. Queer is different from other widely identified words in this sense. Gay never had innately negative meaning, neither did lesbian, bisexual, or trans; these aren't equivalent comparisons to queer. If you wish to reclaim it for yourself, that's genuinely fucking awesome. I love the reclamation of words used to hurt us. I call myself a tranny dyke all the time and it's empowering to embrace and shrug off the negative meaning that people try to attach to me with those words. And I love those that do identify as queer, the mere act of that is reshaping the word into something new and better. Queer is an incredibly powerful word, it blurs lines and defies rigid boundaries between labels on purpose, we NEED queer if we are to evolve and grow. But to say that describing queer as a slur is anti-trans because some dumbass TERFs have a problem with it is reductive. Queer IS a slur, and that's okay, we've long been able to handle a slur or two in our communities and we've been reclaiming them and changing them for the better just as long. Just as with any slur, don't call people it without their permission. I don't go around saying "The dyke community" when I talk about lesbians, or "The fag community" when I talk about gay and bisexual men, or "The tranny community" when I talk about transgender people, because I know that would be hurtful for some of them. In the same way I hope that others don't go around referring to all non cis-het people as queer. There IS a queer community, just like there are dyke fag and tranny communities, but they do not include all L G B or T people, only those who identify with the words.
is it okay if i don't feel comfortable calling myself queer because i have been physically abused while being called that word? of course this only applies for myself, meaning that I won't go around saying "don't use that word!!!", but i just don't want to use that for myself because it brings back memories surrounding heavy trauma.
Personal preference and PTSD triggers are entirely different. As long as you're not trying to police how others express themselves, of course you should avoid doing things that are connected to trauma for you.
It means you have common sense. It's a slur. There's no reason to use it. It literally means "weird". No one will take us seriously if we call ourselves that instead of just saying what we are. Anyone who uses it is pretentious, selfish, & evil.
Incredibly well phrased and a wonderful contribution to the argument. Out of curiosity, do you think it makes sense to pair the word queer with other identifiers (kind of like how people can pair Buddhism w other religious affiliations? For example, queer and/or ace?
I think it depends on the person. I really do see queer as an umbrella term, while terms like ace and trans refer to more specific identities. So I guess it depends on the context of the conversation.
Personally, I love the word queer. It’s older meaning is something like “strange” but not in a bad way exactly. At least that’s what it always seemed to be to me. I think that to identify yourself as queer is inherently anti-assimilationist because it says “yes, we are different from you, that’s why you hate us. Society *will* need to change to accommodate us” and to me that’s so powerful. Assimilation always seems to mean that some people are left out in the cold because it means creating space in the current societal framework for *some* queer people, wether that’s cis gender conforming gay people who want nothing more than to get married and have kids or straight gender conforming binary trans people. Not that there’s anything wrong with being either of those things, but we need to include everyone.
I also like how it’s a label with so much freedom in it I think. It makes it hard for people to categorize you into their little stereotype boxes. I would love to use it for myself more (or at all let’s be honest) but I don’t have the confidence to claim that I belong under the queer umbrella even though I unassailably qualify and it would even help resolve some conflict I have with my current labels. I have a hard time believing that any people who are “straight with extra steps” are using it to invade anyone’s spaces.
YES TO ALL OF THIS. It reminds me of the old protest chant, "We're here, we're queer, get used to it." Queer to me is a label that demands to be seen and allowed to take up space, and I love that.
From another queer witch, thank you. For me, queer is the word that covers all the aspects of me. I don't have one single letter in the LGBTQIA+ that fits me, I'm not just the B, I'm also the A and the T (as an enby). So in group spaces queer is a word that embraces all of me, not those different aspects. It also means I don't have to go into detail with things that I might not be comfortable disclosing at that time. And to be honest, it's also a feeling of rebellion and community. We're here, we're queer, get used to it.
Anyway, good video, well thought out and well phrased. Good job!
Thank you so much! Yes, I absolutely agree that queer is a word that implies community and belonging, as well as resistance.
btw every gender identity is in the trans community. If you're not cis, you're trans, that's what the colour white in the trans flag is. The white is the enby spectrum. Sooooo every identity that's outside of the binary is in the non-binary spectrum. If you're not cisgender, then you're in the trans community. Idk if you can research this, but I found this out from a bunch of lgbtqa+ accounts on Instagram. It's fun to learn about these things yk. Like I'm genderfluid, but I feel more trans masc most of the time. that makes me trans, but genderfluid is under the enby spectrum.
For sure. "Trans" is an umbrella term, which includes nonbinary, genderfluid, etc. Unfortunately there are some folks who want to force trans people to "pick a gender," which can be really harmful. That's more of what I'm talking about in this video.
Excellent video, thank you for your commentary
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed!!
I think this is reductive, especially the title.
Queer is a slur because it has innately negative meaning, and its historical and contemporary usage heavily connotate that negative meaning with LGBT people.
The truth is I'm not strange or odd for being transgender and a lesbian, and nobody else is strange or odd for not being cis-het, these are entirely normal things.
Queer is different from other widely identified words in this sense. Gay never had innately negative meaning, neither did lesbian, bisexual, or trans; these aren't equivalent comparisons to queer.
If you wish to reclaim it for yourself, that's genuinely fucking awesome. I love the reclamation of words used to hurt us. I call myself a tranny dyke all the time and it's empowering to embrace and shrug off the negative meaning that people try to attach to me with those words. And I love those that do identify as queer, the mere act of that is reshaping the word into something new and better. Queer is an incredibly powerful word, it blurs lines and defies rigid boundaries between labels on purpose, we NEED queer if we are to evolve and grow.
But to say that describing queer as a slur is anti-trans because some dumbass TERFs have a problem with it is reductive. Queer IS a slur, and that's okay, we've long been able to handle a slur or two in our communities and we've been reclaiming them and changing them for the better just as long.
Just as with any slur, don't call people it without their permission. I don't go around saying "The dyke community" when I talk about lesbians, or "The fag community" when I talk about gay and bisexual men, or "The tranny community" when I talk about transgender people, because I know that would be hurtful for some of them. In the same way I hope that others don't go around referring to all non cis-het people as queer. There IS a queer community, just like there are dyke fag and tranny communities, but they do not include all L G B or T people, only those who identify with the words.