Dealing with Imposter Syndrome (ADHD Storytime)
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- čas přidán 7. 06. 2021
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Dealing with Imposter Syndrome (ADHD Storytime)
If you're reading this and wondering if you belong here...you do.
Well thank you
Thanks :))
Thanks
Thanks, this helps
I needed this - thank you
I often feel like I am too disabled for the "normal" people, but not disabled enough for the disabled people.
I’ve never heard it expressed that way but it is SO on point!
YES! Say it again for the people in the back!
When I read the first part, I immediately thought ""Disabled" seems too strong of a word to use."
When I got to the second part, I realized I was reading poetry.
Same omg
This!☝️
I kinda have imposter syndrome about having ADHD ironically. Even though I'm diagnosed I get kinda scared that it's a mistake and I'm actually just not good enough as a person, instead of certain things being able to be explained by ADHD. I only got diagnosed recently and late in life so it's kinda like "well no-one ever noticed till now so I'm probably just making it up right?" I'm trying to get better about it
I totally understand. I felt that same thing for the majority of my life until just recently. Still do at times.
Oh my God I literally was about to comment this. Sometimes I think I don't have it that bad, certainly not as bad as others, and then I lose my keys for an hour only to find them in a room I looked 14 times. Or turn around and 4 cabinet doors are still open and so is the fridge. Or a multitude of other examples.
After a lifetime of being told you're lazy, selfish, and don't care unless its for you, its hard to think that maybe you're not that, and that you're actually a good person.
@@TheGreatScott81 This comment made my day.
@@Skrill99 I'm glad. 😀
I JUST GOT DIAGNOSED AND I FEEL LIKE I LIED TO THEM I HAVE THIS EXACT PROBLEM IM SO HAPPY. But also not of course oh man I thought I was alone
I told my husband for years that I had him fooled whenever he said he loved me because I didn't think I deserved to be loved. Thankfully, he didn't let me convince him. The turning point was when he said I wasn't allowed to choose who he loves, and he loves me, and I couldn't doubt his love any more.
That's the sweetest thing ever, made me tear up. Hope you have a happy marriage for the rest of your lives ❤️❤️
That's beautiful!
🥺🥺
:((
This made me cry. I went through the same problem but I didn’t stay. I hope the best for your relationship 😭
*maintains a youtube channel for over 3 years*
Brain: "oh, that must be luck!"
Or more like: How did this miracle grow on me?
On the flip side, when you aren't having successes, you feel like it's because you're not trying hard enough.
Exactly! You can't feel like you get to keep the win, but that you earn every failure. It is hard to live under, and equally difficult to tell yourself that you earned the win even when you didn't feel like it.
I feel that alot
You never win.
me every day
I really like how you flipped it like that like some type of Chinese riddle or proverb lol
Anyone else ever feel like acknowledging that you have ADHD, ADD around neurotypical people that theres always skepticism from them?
Depends on the person
had a doctor at a lift test for work tell me everyone has a little adhd like its just some made up excuse
Always
Yes Ive been told that everyone is a little bit ADHD as well. Or like Oh yeah whatever I think I have it as well, it's no big deal
Yes. exactly the same for my diagnosis of autism.
"When I have successes I feel like they're not really mine" - you took the words out of my brain; it's so reassuring to know that this is part of our brains and it's not actually true but it's still hard. I appreciate your channel so much
Just wanted to share that as a therapist, I have learned more about ADHD from your videos than I did throughout my entire education. And as a human with ADHD, I just wanted to share that no amount of education has ever reduced my sense of impostor syndrome.
That’s so good to know! Thank you for sharing about your imposter syndrome
Just like the people who wrote the info in the book, you must have in-field experience
I studied hypno therapy and NLP before discovering my own label and although I cured my own chronic depression, I discovered that these tools work differently for folk with ADHD. Bloody annoying
I just have this very strong feeling that as I pursue education and certain courses, no matter how long I study or how knowledgeable I am of whatever subject it is-
I’ll just always feel like I for some reason can’t talk about, or essentially what you said. I just see myself always having at least an ounce of self-doubt, and again no matter how passionate and knowledgeable I may be.
I am also a therapist with ADHD. I relate to your comment so much and I totally agree, her videos are amazing. ADHD therapists unite!
Impostor syndrome is a hard thing to deal with for sure. I struggle with it frequently myself. What helps me is realizing that counseling is part of my calling, something I've been created to do. As a unique individual, of course I will do it differently than others. So, the best thing for me to do is to compare today's performance to yesterday's to see how I've improved, rather than compare myself to a completely different person. I hope this helps. :-)-
One of the best parts of this channel is the feeling of belonging when I read the comments :)
Right thoooo!!
Same
Yup
Absolutely ☺️
absolutely
Whenever I'm sad, I just search up your channel and have an ADHD video marathon. It makes me feel so understood, honestly!!! 😭😭😭
Ahah weird. To each their own though
I have ADHD and I (for some reason) LOVE researching ADHD. Super interesting
Same! I'm switching career right now and the imposter syndrome is really strong, while I really want ans need to change careers. 😊
@@j33ly48 Same
"No matter how much i do for them
No matter how much i do for myself
No matter which way i look at it
Fulfillment passes me by..."
I am blind and have disabling mental illnesses. As a service dog handler whose dog aids with both of those, I want to reach out and say that I see you, and you and Chloe are valid. You deserve to be here.
Thank you 😭wish I'd thought to include that in the vlog. Telling people they're valid and they belong is so helpful
I'll say it every time it's applicable if I catch the video! I thoroughly believe it. :) And you're welcome
☝️😮... ✊😦... 😐... 😶
How did you text
But how did you write this?
I’ve watched a bunch of expert videos on ADHD lately and the truth is, even the most famous experts don’t seem to understand the condition as well as regular folk that actually have it. ADHD voices are so important ❤️
exactly i was thinking that, i dont care that she does not have a career on it, this is so wholesome to feel like someone understands and she is really making me feel better with myself
AGREE!!
and also, she DOES medical research ask professionals, check her sources, etc. that's everything! if only ppl who have a degree on a subject could talk about it, we could only talk about one topic per person (and not even that) and that's boring and unproductive. what is important is to have these professionals backing the data we give, next to our personal experience ❤️
This. 1000X this.
🚨Unbelievable so much fake adderall, xanax, hyrocodone, and more drugs out there . FDA finally approves therxprescription.com to distribute quality medications worldwide🌎. They're fast and reliable
I'm a "subject matter expert" in the field I work in, and have been for a few years now, and I get uncomfortable every time I hear someone refer to me as such. I think "I'm not an expert, I just looked some stuff up and learned a few things every time I didn't know enough".... Thank you for posting this video. I had no idea that this feeling was common with ADHD.
"I just learned the stuff"
Isn't that what an expert does?
@@jeremynolastname2011 me, definitely neurotypical and not ADHD with real bad anxiety and imposter syndrome: no see because it's me.
@@thomaswhite3059 I really meant it as a reminder for anyone that feels that way. Nobody can know or do or be good at everything. If you work hard to learn and master the skills you need to be good at your job, then you are probably good at your job; or whatever thing you are trying to be good at.
I mean I do IT for a living. At the end of the day 80% of my job is just actually bothering to read what it says on the screen and a solid 15% is Google. I have no shortage of self doubt myself, but the fact that I can't live up to my own ridiculous standards doesn't make me any less good at what I do.
PhilipMcBride
I don’t know if it has to be part of ADHD, but it does sounds like imposter syndrome.
I just love how vulnerable, and real she is. It’s a blessing to know someone else experiences the things that have kept me down, and have been successful in spite of them.
You not only belong, you realized there was an entire population that needed a home and you've helped us create a place where we all belong and we can welcome and support more and more people with similar needs. THANK YOU. ...you've created space for us all.
Rylee!! You spoke this perfectly!!!! (Thank u sooo much jessica!!!)
Ditto. Thank you SO much!
Not only have you helped my ADHD adult daughter, you've helped ME understand where she's coming from. Thank you.
wise words, uk
💖💖💖💖
Hey, you saying you had a meltdown over tiny frustrations actually made me feel validated. I always feel like a baby getting frustrated over small tasks I can do and didnt think anyone else really did. Thank you
I always beat myself up for getting distracted and messing up the tiniest things and it sucks
Didn't help that my parents helped fuel that as a kid.
"What's wrong with you?"
"I DON'T KNOW!"
"That's not good enough."
Etc, etc, etc, etc, etc...
@@mtngrl88 that hit close to home
@@mtngrl88 I hear echoes of that "What's WRONG with you?" really often, especially when moving tasks or deadlines farther out. "Why can't you just..." is also particularly toxic, & that keeps coming even from well-meaning people who don't understand that I've heard the same advice & tried it dozens of times before, it JUST doesn't work.
I’m ALWAYS late, I know it, I “try” not to be, almost never works (gotta love adhd) and in the car as I’m arriving late and rushing through traffic the anxiety of being late and the expected annoying complaints about my tardiness, and frustration of knowing better PISSES ME OFF!!!! I’m so upset almost crying in the car because I’m late and now everything seems to be slowing me down when I’m trying to go faster it’s a mess.
I've never felt like I'm not pretending...in any aspect of my life. My career. My schooling. My writing. My art. My relationships. I feel this so hard. Thank you for this video.
I struggle with this because of my hyperfocus at work. I love what I do and I know I'm really good at it because people tell me I am, and I see it. I still struggle because after I troubleshoot and find a problem I have a hard time explaining how I did it. Like how I thought through it, because coming out of hyperfocus for me leaves my memory sort of in fast forward. So it always makes me feel like I got lucky.
Wow. This helped me learn why I have a hard time explaining what I get done. Because yeah, every time I accomplish anything, it's through a hyper focus bender, and I totally discard the RAM afterward
Maybe let's just agree it's our feature and not trying to look behind the magic trick curtains 😁😅
Thank you so much for this comment .. You put exactly what I feel into words .. it’s so validating to hear .. I struggle so much in explaining how I finished a project so I feel like I just did it by luck
@@yarah28 it's rough. I'm an industrial electrician and I trouble shoot rather complex machines for a living, but I have a very hard to communicating my thought process. Even when I can remember what it was I get ahead of myself while explaining it so it doesn't really come off like I really know what I was talking about.
Just take it that if you are consistently coming to the right answers and finishing things that are difficult. It isn't luck no one is that lucky. You know what you are doing you just have a hard time articulating it.
Hear you.
Not me watching this while walking to work where I feel like a fraud lol 👀
Not me watching while I work and feel like a fraud haha
Not me starting my second week on the job as an entry level engineer after applying for jobs for the better half of a year and finally landing this position haha...ha...
Omg literally me in a month. We got this 💪
I don't even know how I wasnt fired yet! It feels like is gonna happen anytime
@@zahavasantos902 Yeah, this video and your comment acknowledges the nonlinear or wavy paths of progress.( It takes courage to be an outsider. Well said here in both : )
In my experience in my 51 years with ADHD, it is important to have a lot of little wins. Exercise, clean the kitchen, make your bed, get a win on an exam, at work. A bunch of little wins increases your self confidence and decreases the imposter syndrome.
Definitely! 💯😃
Good Idea i write it down for me. When thinking back the Missing win could be the reason for last "i don't feel Nice"
how do you deal with "i forgot that dish?"
"did you vacuum the bathroom?"
"i should take out the recycling. whoops! DIDN'T!"
seriously asking. i have so many machines that do my chores, but if i forget to run one, or fix it, or clean out the dustbin, i just crumble and the whole fucking thing shuts down.
sorry, ignore this, i'm a grump today and can't deal so well, and you have your own things to deal with.
i should just go clean the stove. that's a goal to try.
What if thers no winning. 😕 jus degrees of losing eh? ?
@@timroyal6815 don’t trust this scam site guys!
Thank you.. I’m 60 years old and you’ve validated my entire life young lady.. 😭 I’m NOT scatterbrained!
I’m NOT an airhead!
I’m NOT weird!(well maybe a little)
I have ADHD ♥️ I get me now, finally, and it’s because of YOU. So when you feel overwhelmed or like you’re not as good as you are. PLEASE think of me ♥️ I’ll never be able to thank you enough for showing me
I was experiencing this and I couldn’t understand why I felt like this… I was voted as outstanding first year Teacher 👩🏾🏫 and I felt like it was given to me by pity because I had a tough class. However, I was deserving of the reward.
"And at the end of the day, what's more valuable: already fitting in, or creating space so that others can too?"
I like this.
I’d say creating space for those who are different
"What's more valuable? Already fitting in, or creating space so that others can too?"
You are my hero. You're a rock star! Thank you. Thank you for trusting yourself to make this video.
So well said, I totally agree.
I found myself crying watching this video because I can relate on the deepest level of what you were saying your experience has been. I cannot thank you enough for your courage and bravery to share your personal experience so others don’t feel so alone ❤️
I am 39 years old. I am just now realizing I have Adhd. This video hits hard. I have never felt like I belong. In my mind when I am at work I am the guy who everyone else has to work harder to make up for. My imposter syndrome gets to the point that I feel like everyone just has to put up with me. This feeds my anxiety which helps trigger my depression. I can now look back at a lot of my episodes and see how they were related to rejection sensitivity and my social anxiety. Listening to you and your understanding of this neurodivergence has given me hope. I really am not alone like I have always felt.
Saying "I have impostor syndrome." makes me feel like I only say that to imply that I actually am better than I think .. double impostor syndrome?
Same. That hits.
Yup. I totally get it.
LMAO yes
Sus
Yep. Feel this. Same for saying “I think I have adhd”.
On top of having ADHD and anxiety, I’m a highly sensitive introvert. When I have to actively participate in a long meeting, I sometimes get so overstimulated and mentally exhausted that it takes an hour or more before I can work productively. I seems like everyone else can just spontaneously walk over to each other, collaborate on some complex problem, and switch back to what they were doing without getting the least bit rattled by the interruption. I feel like such a fake and a parasite for accepting a full day’s pay when I spend so much time staring at the screen brain fried
I feel the same, meetings stress me so much. I always overthink the phrases that I said, or reinterpret other's people phrases again and again, I build different possible answers that I could have said. Yes, that is exahausting.
Sameee. Then I "punish" myself by staying late. Burnout always right around the corner.
Reminds me just how long I've been working from home. So much less interruption, and in person interaction distraction.
@@JohnKerbaugh but there are the gadgets and screens to getcha at home lol
I get this... when something knocks me off my train, it is hard to get back on. I call em my dead zones, when everything around me stops making sense. Almost like an imposter syndrome of reality, where I see everything as the thing it is, but it isn't real and I can't connect any of the stimulation or information (like onscreen) until I can divert my attention and feed some part of my brain on a hunger it can't define.
"I'm expanding that circle so that someone else can feel like they belong here too."
I needed to hear this today. In the middle of trail blazing to get reasonable accommodations for a job hiring process.
Thank you so much for trusting us enough to be vulnerable. I haven't been officially diagnosed with ADHD but I have ADHD (I took the test and also happen to have an aquaitance who is a specialist at ADHD who confirmed it but getting the official psychologist stamp of approval was too long of a process and I am already an adult + I have a bunch of other things like Depression, OCD, Anxiety and Autism spectrum). I have a dog and a hamster who I consider my emotional support pets, especially my dog she tends to drag me out of the bed or just sit with me when I am having a breakdown and comfort me but always felt like I didn't have the right to call her a service dog.
I’ve only recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and I feel like I fooled the psychiatrist. I feel like a fraud for struggling, and I really think I needed to hear this. Thank you for being here and sharing so openly. Your channel has helped me learn so much in the past year. I started watching because my brother has ADHD. I stayed because you were helping me too. Just, thank you.
That's exactly how I felt when I received my diagnosis years ago too and about my struggles. Doesn't help that I had/have an extremely ableistic immediate family and have had ableistic toxic friends. You're doing a good job, hang in there
i’ve recently been diagnosed with adhd. i’m 17. i can’t remember my childhood very much, so i don’t remember if i faced symptoms, but I know I did. i had 8 hour testing for adhd, and i’ve been diagnosed with significant adhd. however, my mom doesn’t believe it at all. also, since i’m poc and have always done well in school (except for online), i thought i was too smart for it. i know i have a lot of the symptoms, i’ve been tested by professionals, adhd tips and lessons help me, i know i have adhd. but i still feel like maybe i’m lying. maybe i’m just doing it all for attention. it’s so difficult to try and help myself sometimes, when i doubt my own disorder.
I'm in the same headspace right now and I don't know what to do, at the same time in the moments when I accept it and try to communicate about it , it feels like others think I'm being dramatic. Covid has essentially ruined my chances at finishing my first year at university (for the 2nd time) because I can't handle online classes
Omg I understand this so much- I have been the smart kid who couldn't get her assignments done. I have been the adult who discovered remote learning is freaking *hard* and learning to study in college is *hard*. If it helps, I'm now an adult with ADHD and a great job that I love and lets me work in the ways that work for me. Hang in there. Don't be afraid to get the help you need- I never would have gotten where I am without asking for help. You can get through it! We can do hard things!
@@project_lkh7009 i hope you are able to finish, i’m sorry that this year hasn’t gone well for u. we are valid and we have adhd. we should be able to live with it freely
@@persephoneunderground845 thank u :) it’s super difficult because being a gifted student with perfect grades to having average and low grades starting last year, it makes me sad to see my potential being wasted. i’m on medication now and it seems to be helping quite a bit. i know i can do a lot in this life, so i hope i will be able to learn how to manage myself :)
and i am glad you are living a life ur content with !
You and Chloe together belong. I’m an ADHD newbie @ 42 and we made our Brady a service dog for my husband who is a cancer survivor. I realized not only how much time I’ve spent training Brady, but to make sure he looks the part and “official”.
I made him my EMS instead of service dog just out of guilt.
You’re the first person I’ve seen that I can relate to (ADHD or otherwise). You keep doing and being your wonderful self. You have no idea how much you’re helping people.
I had no idea there was a name for this act I feel like I play while socializing with people as far back as I can remember. As I get older I do less and less just from pure exhaustion. Not having the energy to repeat the endless portraying of myself ,whoever that is
I used to watch the series " House" and whenever the episode was about: imposter syndrome - mirror syndrome or the phrase: "monkey sees monkey does" is said, I feel it is talking about me. I feel like I have to imitate someone to look normal but I am not normal if I act myself
You nailed it! ❤️
I feel like I don't have imposter syndrome because I know that I can pick some things up quickly if someone can run me through the process a couple of times. But it's really difficult to ask for that specifically, as I feel like I'm outing myself and asking to be judged by admitting that I don't know it yet.
And _that_ is how I can see that I actually am affected by imposter syndrome, and I can see that I've just internalized the "fly under the radar/fake it 'til you make it" sentiment in a way that I didn't notice and that isn't helping me. And I think I'm realizing that a lot more now, after reading your comment.
What is the serie "house" about? Where can we watch it?
@@melaniepilon4508 it's AWESOME!!
House is a Dr. Very sarcastic and troubled. But a genius
@@melaniepilon4508 It's called House M.D. It's an older serie about an out of the ordernary doctor called House. I have a few seasons on dvd, but don't know if it's still on tv somewhere.
I was diagnosed at five, I’m now thirty-five and I still feel I don’t fit in. employers still don’t give equality to us adhd-ers
I have ASD 1 and ADHD age 40 and employers do discriminate against us.
Thats why so many of us work for ourselves. As my own boss, I give myself whatever I need.
I'm in the same boat friend. Diagnosed at about 6, i'm 32 now. Every job working for someone else has been miserable.
@@timothyamanda4960 I have to say, I've also always found it very difficult. The core concept is hard to accept - that I am letting someone else tell me what to do.
I have found a core reason why it bothers me, and I can bet some of you won't agree with it or might feel it is not helpful, but for me it is absolute truth.
The person telling me what to do is ALWAYS less intelligent than me. I struggle to follow their instructions, because their plan has alot more flaws than my plans do.
I used to deal with people telling me I was just being young and cocky; and because I was young, they wouldn't try it my way. At best, they would try it my way only after their way had failed.
Then later in life, AGE BIAS kicks in, and more people want your opinion and let you try it your way. And suddenly my career took off.
Currently working for one of the largest banks in the world, making really good money, and basically trusted to be a process designer or process inspector.
*_They've made it my job to design all our plans, or to find flaws in others' plans. Because I am that good at it._*
Now, take that in for a minute, because I am not bragging on ME, I am bragging on YOU: ADHD is why I can do this.
Hyper-activity and Hyper-Focus means that Brains tend to really think things through, like all the steps, what might happen what might not, what might work, AT. EVERY. STEP. IN. THE. PLAN. It's like our brains are able to take a plan and run it through full simulations to look at outcomes; we find holes in plans before they happen, with REMARKABLE accuracy.
For me, this validates that I was always right, at least about this one thing: I shouldn't let others tell me what to do, because how I would do it not only works better for me, it works better for everyone, most of the time.
*_When you learn to harness your ADHD, you will be smarter than most people you know. It's a Difficult Gift To Master, not a Curse._*
@@timothyamanda4960 how do you manage being self-employed?!
I wasn't diagnosed until 27 now I am nearing twice that age ....I have had the same problem with nearly every job and during school career. My current employer/ supervisor has been the most accommodating I've had and for the most part the job is nearly ideal but it took time for us to get a handle on how to do that, he hasn't really been resistant to working with me mostly the issue was him understanding why certain things were a problem for me when it didn't hinder anyone else. I have tried better or worse to clearly state .... I have ADHD and that is something that I'm not going to be efficient at .... can I do it this way and will it be acceptable.... after he realized that 'laziness' wasn't a problem the accommodations come easier but I have been there nearly 5 years so he typically works with me as much as possible.
It seems like the larger the company the less flexible they're willing to be, compounded by the culture of 'you look like a perfectly normal/ healthy _____' ... it works for everyone else it should work for you...
In other words, you have no visible disability so you must just be lazy!
I could comment a thousand things on this, but the one I want to leave is about my service dog. I had a service dog for panic attacks and stuff - see, it's like reflexive that I have to explain myself... - and everything you were saying about comparing to others and not being "disabled enough" and all that hits home. I ended up not bringing her anywhere, I felt like everyone would stare at me, or act weird, it would make me way more anxious socially, I sank into avoidance. I trained her soooo hard, for so long, she had to be *perfect*. After *years*, I finally decided this was just... not fair. Not fair to *her*. My pup was a very energetic German Shepherd, she was super affectionate, a complete goofy extroverted angel, and having to correct her for being friendly to strangers because she was working was just... the guilt ate me alive. And feeling like I was just "making excuses to bring my dog places she shouldn't be allowed to go" and shit like that... So... I retired her. I let her be a puppy. She worked hard enough. And I'm really proud to say that I was able to let go of these overwhelming expectations and the discipline I put on my dog and she was able to have several years of complete freedom to be a dog in the twilight of her life. She did a REALLY good job as a support dog for like... 6 years. And she got to have a wonderful retirement, and we went on many adventures and got to meet other dogs and people *without* the vest and the "don't pet, don't come near us, she's working" vibes, just "normal dogs making friends" vibes. She passed in June, I miss her dearly, she was by my side every day.
I don't want my story to discourage anyone having a service dog at all, or to feed anyone's impostor syndrome. That's not the message here. I'm glad my story had a happy ending, but I'm sharing the story because I was overwhelmed by the impostor syndrome and I succumbed to it. It defeated me. I battle it every day in other aspects of my life: my career, my diagnoses, my self-image, etc. I learned a LOT from my experience with my dog. But for the sake of protecting her - the one I cared for, my best friend - my impostor syndrome defeated me. If I went back and did it all again, even with the same outcome of retiring her, I wish I had retired her for better reasons than shame and avoidance. That's a monumental part of my self-care work right now. Making decisions like that for the right reasons, not making major decisions out of shame, fear or avoidance. Finding support and talking about it before making those decisions, so that my energy is coming from the right places. Thank you so much for sharing, your honesty makes me feel much less alien and alone, and I appreciate that deeply.
Thank you for your story. Sounds like your dog was wonderful.
I have a question- you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to- I get it that an “official” service dog cannot be pet but she was there to alert you when you had anxiety and calm you down? As long as she is keeping an eye on you she can be social right? Please correct me if I understand this wrong.
Hi Jessica! I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and found you through your TEDtalk. There are so many things about ADHD that I have learned within the last year of this journey. I used to think that my school and work life was being negatively impacted by my lack of ambition or that I was just lazy and didn't want to do my work. After a lot of research and speaking with my therapist, I took a deeper look at why I wasn't doing my work. I've always been told I'm smart and have so much potential, but I felt like I wasn't living up to the expectation that had been set out for me. Hearing your TEDtalk really struck something in me. I cried as I realized that I'm not alone. I'm not the only smart woman who struggled because of my executive functioning issues. Thank you so much for all the videos and information. The work you do is amazing.
Imposter syndrome is definitely one of the worst thing about having ADHD. Whenever you finish a project or do really good at something, you'll start to feel like ah! it was pure luck or I didn't deserve to be here.
The worse part of it is you can't tell about it a lot of people around you irl because they would assume I'm making up things as an excuse to avoid responsibility.
Personally, to counter Imposter Syndrome, having a good support system is really important because they would mostly validate what you did even if it's bare minimum. At least for me, for someone who got invalidated for almost everything good I did as if I did some favours according to them - support system can be good thing to help you out in this case.
I always feel like that too and then test myself by starting another tasks that is more challenging and difficult, just to see if I really can do it, or somehow managed to B.S. my way through everything else before that.
Though, personally, I've felt/been invalidated so many times that now I don't believe people when they tell me something I made/did was good. It feels like they're lying or trying to be sarcastic instead of complimentary. So, couple that + the imposter syndrome and I'm at a point where I don't want to do anything because I feel like I'm terrible at everything and I can't tell when I'm being too harsh to myself.
@@KlutzyNinjaKitty yeah, it's the same. I too feel like they're being sarcastic to me when they genuinely comment about how they like my work.
@@KlutzyNinjaKitty and you know what even sucks more? When You don't do a thing because you know you'll fail
@@iditrirajan - "When You don't do a thing because you know you'll fail" Aka, my whole life? There have been so many personal projects that I've scrapped because of this and it sucks.
This makes me think of one of my most favorite quotes. Vince Lombardi said: "Luck is where hard work and opportunity meet."
Any time you begin to doubt yourself with the "I got lucky" aspect of imposter syndrome, it is good to remember the work you did to set yourself up for that "Lucky moment".
Vince Lombardi pilfered it from a much older Italian dude, but it's a great quote
@@belowequity the Italian dude was a philosopher too I believe.
But a great saying, no matter who quoted it.
Reading this brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes some of the best things that have happened to me I’ll just chalk up to luck to basically invalidate that I either earned or was worthy of whatever that good thing is. So thank you for that ♥️
This is a really useful way to think about it. Thank you!
Thank you for this comment! That is an absolutely beautiful way to look at it, I'll try to keep that in the back of my mind :)
I needed this today. Just hearing a likeminded person expressing so relatably what this experience is like helps me feel a little more valid.
This one hit so hard. Currently bawling and I really needed a good cry. Thank you for sharing your experience and creating this community 🤗❤️ it means so much to me and to so many others to feel like we're not alone and belong.
I’ve been feeling like none of my friends really like me because why would they? I’m annoying and I don’t see why anyone would want to be my friend. I’m scared that they became my friend and now they just don’t want to be mean but don’t really want me. One of my friends is my most favourite person in the world but I’m scared she secretly dislikes me. I feel like I’m too clingy and she’s probably sick of talking to me and seeing me.
I feel that sooo much! I always have the feeling people don’t like me and any sign when someone reacts not the expected way or stops listening to me talking and many other little things always scream in my face “they don’t like you, stop talking, try to just blend in or leave”. It’s very draining...
This is the kind of imposter syndrome that I have the worst. And it's the worst.
Because of this kind of behavior and other weird actions (caused by my inner issues and misunderstandings) I lost my best friend long time ago
Haha, that's not Imposter Syndrome: that's 'Everyone else is an imposter' Syndrome! Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoriaaaaaaaa
I can relate to a meaningful degree
Wow I was not ready to be exposed in a comment section today…
girl... you didn't have to call out my soul just like that...!!!
In one video you taught me more about my problems with ADHD than a counselor did in two years.
I just want to say that presenting this particular vlog in a more casual way, where you are not adopting any of your "youtuber" persona was very important. We see you and we relate.
The struggle is real. I am 47 years old, and I have adhd, and have had imposter syndrome my whole life.
Just a couple nights ago i told my bf that i scared i was faking it, despite having been diagnosed and on medication that is actually helping me… 😖
omg I feel this so hard. Every time I go to see a new psychiatrist I feel like I have to fool them into believing me...
I was diagnosed at 23 but now I'm 35 and haven't been seeing a doctor in forever (took meds only to get myself through that huge mess that was getting a university degree but found a job that worked for me without meds) and now I'm scared of going to a new doctor because I think I need to fool him into believing me or that they might take back their diagnosis.. 😞
Yeah! I was diagnosed two years ago and I still wonder sometimes if they mis diagnosed me..
I thought the same.
SAME SAME SAME
You are my ADHD expert Jess. You helped me find my self and find peace with myself for my condition. You are a hero :)
Thank you for this ❤️
I often feel that even though I am nearly a half century old, I still don know what I want to be when I grow up.
I have the same problem, I am 54. My husband feels like he hasn't decided what he wants to be when he grows up and he is 72!
I am 2/5 of the way there. Not quite 1/2. I know what I want to be/do. I can't figure out how to convince enough people that I deserve it.
You are not alone in that thought. 🙂 I am nearly a half a century also! Still finding my way. Life is a journey, not a destination. That is such a true statement.
Im 25 I still dont see the point of life.
@@sean4236 Maybe you only have to convince yourself?
This came in the perfect timing: I start my Ph.D. this fall and I've been diagnosed with ADHD last week. Also, I'm in the last part of my masters and I was feeling like I don't belong in academia.
Hello, we seem to be living the same life!
What field are you going to be doing your PhD in ? :D
I hear that so much!! What helps you stick with it?
@@H0ney166 condensed matther physics (theory)! and you?
That's just all of us. I've never met a PhD student without imposter syndrome. Most of the professors feel like that too. You get used to it. Or you're just too busy with wotk to really dwell on it
@@RocioGonzalezMeza Business - Marketing, specifically Consumer Behavior. Your field sounds so impressive :D
Thank you so much for this video.
Thank you for this video!
I went undiagnosed until 21 and I have failed my way through middle school, partly through high school and struggled through college until now. As a result, my coincidence and self esteem has taken a major hit. And with these imposter thoughts it can be terrible. Your account helps so much and I appreciate all the hard work you do for us.
Im working towards the best version of myself but it’s so difficult!
Thanks so much
Jack
I completely relate, Jack. It was same for me except I got diagnosed now at 22. After I had failed at 2 University degrees and failing in the first semesters... Then struggling to cope at my job after that...and now I sit unemployed, due to my extreme anxiety and depression caused by my first job...and I feel like this about everything at the moment.
Same except knowing I have it has helped me so much to deal and know not to blame myself so harshly
@@mpedersen9975 heal from your past so you can have the future you want- Jordan Peterson
@@mpedersen9975 I’m truly sorry you can relate to this. Also, it seems like we’re on the same wavelength, Everyday I want to better my self but I then get bombarded with negative thoughts and anxieties reminding me of how much I tried to do well in school, only to fail over and over again. As a result i go nowhere
@@Hopeof7suns this is very helpful. I put a lot of blame on my self
I'm crying now, but I'm so grateful for the existence of this channel, it helped me a lot, it's like a safe place to be myself. Thank you 💕
Thank you for this ❤ it hit me in my heart!
I have never heard another person vocalize what I go through with this. Thank you 💜
My boyfriend was diagnosed with ADHD when he was about 11 or 12. I found your channel while I was looking for ways to understand him better. Then I found myself relating to what you were describing, and that’s when it clicked that I may be too. So I got e psychiatrist that works with ADHD-ers and got on meds. Thank you for letting us into your world and creating a community!
The person who is reading this, You deserve what you have achieved and you have achieved it because of your hardwork and determination. Even though I don't know you, but I know that you always try hard and give your best and I am really proud of you. You are not fooling anyone, you have totally achieved it because of your perseverance and hardwork. I am proud of you ❤️
This comment is so sweet and touches me deeply. Thank you. Namaste
Come give me a good old hug
@Julia Kovtoun ❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼
@@KarriSimone ❤️❤️🙏🏼
@@gielstones 🤗❤️
You’re doing amazing work.
I just stumbled upon this video and wow....this explains one of the predominant emotions I've felt my entire life. Thank you
As a songwriter with adhd ive been going through exactly this...
Being asked to write songs for artists as good as the songs i wrote before and not knowing if im capable to make something as good again,
tried to overcompensate by trying again and again and again never really getting results and starting to doubt myself
Thanks for letting me know that these feelings and thoughts are explainable and that I'm not alone in them
you're not alone, keep going, keep creating 💪
Creativity is one of the strengths of ADHDers. We're wired for it 🙂
i have adhd and writing just one little song or even part of a song is like a HUUUGE challenge for me. I get so lost in my own ideas and so unmotivaded... it's all just a big mess bc I usually assume from the beginning that anything that comes from me is intrinsically bad so i feel like... "why even bother trying?" So i need to say, It IS NOT easy AT ALL and *STILL...* there you are, *doing it* and killing it :) just keep going, that's THE MOST important part. And don't forget that you were made for it ❤️
Don't know if this would help, but there is a great writing book called "Writing down the bones" by Natalie Goldberg. It came out YEARS ago. You could probably find it used for very little money.
Very short chapters, you can "dip in" anywhere in the book. Many, many writing prompts - which I think might 'click' for you ? At least for lyrics !
I need to reread it myself, & start the "morning pages" suggestion as well. It really helps me !
@@dajo244 ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm about to get an ADHD diagnosis, wish me luck!
Good luck!✨
That's so great!
Good luck! 🫂
Good luck 👏
Good luck! There are amazing Facebook groups to support you!
This was so beautiful. Thank you.
One of the main reasons I love this channel is that it is so real. It's relatable and let's people see the harder times and their impacts not just the easy ones. You are an inspiration keep creating content for as long as you can while not feeling pressured and don't worry if other people had other reasons for treatments
I never knew this was a thing with ADHD despite being diagnosed and having treatment for it. I feel this every day 😟
Back at liking this within 30 seconds again, while procrastinating 😂🙈 Thank you so much for your videos! They always help me feel like I’m not the only one struggling ❤️😘
Thank you so much for creating this channel.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and real.
I’m glad you pushed through. I stumbled across your TED Talk and it was my light bulb moment! Thank you from the bottom of my heart 🙏🏻 I’m training my Weimaraner as my assistance dog for my (undiagnosed) ADHD and she’s doing so well 💕 xx
Oh gosh you are the queen of posting when I am in school, stressed or procrastinating bahah
To be fair, if you're anything like me, that's like anytime.
@@SmallSpoonBrigade I was about to confirm that, too, yes. But confirmation bias makes it feel like synchronistic magic 😅
Thank you for these videos
youre amazing, thank you.
This week somone on an ADHD facebook group asked if a service dog for ADHD is possible and I referred her to this channel. So you are already making the change :)
"If it were just for me, I wouldnt have kept going" hit the hardest.
Thank you so much for putting yourself out there. Being diagnosed a few years ago at 30 has had me rethinking every decision I've ever made and it's nice to know I'm not alone.
I’m a mental health professional (trauma therapist) struggling with co-occurring PTSD and trying to find an answer for my lifelong struggles which I am now figuring out is ADHD. Finding your channel this last week has helped me so much and comforted me in some dark times. As someone in this field, I don’t think you’re an imposter, I think you’re a huge help 💕
This really helped me. Finally coming to terms with the fact that I 99% have ADHD. Everything makes sense now and I understand why I am the way I am. Thank you x
I feel like my depression has influenced my imposter syndrome so much that it’s to the point where no matter what anyone else says I feel like I’m a terrible person and I just do a really good job of hiding it.
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THANKYOU FOR SHARING THIS :'), Love.
This channel is literally changing my life. You are making such an impact in the lives of people. Thank you Thank you Thank you.
I deal with this a lot, especially when making music. Oftentimes I believe I don’t deserve to be loved or appreciated and could never under why i thought these things
Whenever I'm stressed or start to overthink, I always refer to your videos to make me be "present" and less anxious from overthinking. Thank you Jessica
This sums up EVERYTHING for me
Wow this one really hit home for me! Thank you for what you do!!
I can't believe this is still pretty much the only channel dedicated to ADHD and it's struggles.
There are others but she does it incredibly well.
I should do a video highlighting others! I've seen some come out lately, it's pretty cool
@@HowtoADHD Its kinda crazy when I think about the millions of hours of videos that are uploaded daily and the thousands of CZcams channels that are started daily and how there are very few ADHD focused channels.
@@HowtoADHD I'd watch that!
@@GoADHDGo Yeah, you phrased it better.
You absolutely belong here! You are helping so many of us with this channel & you can help us in so many more ways than anyone with a degree in anything ❤️ I for one am so grateful you started this channel & I know I'm not alone in that!
Wow. Thank you for being SO open with us
Your videos are saving my life, thank you.
Something to think about: You are someone who has lived it AND you are someone who has chosen to understand it. And you're sharing the journey, and building the community as you go. You don't just fit - you're actually making things better by doing this. So, thank you :)
What always strikes that “ooh, me too!!” chord is that you’re sharing your honest truths. A couple of passing comments helped me gain some insight into me; the strange irony we feel a sense of imposter syndrome, fearing judgement from others, until we reach our own standards that we set ourselves. There were two examples and obviously I’ve forgotten one while I googled “strike a chord” to make sure it wasn’t “strike a cord”, but feeling like an imposter until you believed you knew enough to consider yourself an expert - the key’s within us all along, to defeat the fear of judgement from others. Juggling catch-22s…
Thank-you, I didn't know I needed to hear this.
Thank you so much for starting this channel and being so open and great information.
Thank you, it describes perfectly how i felt most of my life. Always outside. As a Marine I saw myself as one guarding those that do belong. Always shocked at at any success, as I got lucky, deflecting praise, as just doing my job. Thank you for giving that feeling a name.
I am a Marine veteran as well! Part of the the reason I joined was to “hide” as a “good person”, someone who is able to function in society, and I wanted to structure. I’m reality, it was a bit intense and much. In some ways I wish I had been more aware and accepting of myself at the time I joined. I was attracted to the fitness aspect, the minimalism, and very strong purpose l.
*Me writing a "statement of purpose" for grad school: hyperventilate for 3 months and then slam s*** together
I’m ABSOLUTELY grateful for you! I feel like an imposter more often than not and I too am training a service dog for my psych work 😩 it’s tough!
I really appreciate your videos and haven’t found anything else as helpful.