How to Get Over a Divorce: What I did to Move On After 16 years of Marriage
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- čas přidán 1. 07. 2024
- How to get over a breakup? Whether it's a boyfriend of 8 months or a husband of 16 years. It's hard - Heartbreak is always hard. Here are some ideas for how to move on.
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Sorry to hear that you might need this video. Relationships aren't easy and neither is getting over a breakup. So you've sought relationship advice and nothing seems to help, or maybe you don't have a choice in the matter. Here are things that helped me get over my divorce after 16 years with 8 kids.
#1 Mourn: You need to take time to mourn for yourself!
#2 Connect with your inner self.
#3 Fill yourself up. Do things to make you happy. Reawaken your life and feel the greatness of being alive. Remember what makes you happy and do the things that give a bounce to your step.
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I am so numb. Moving on is so hard. I know I deserve better but man I gave every part of me and my soul to this man. It is so hard to let go and move on. Help
I'm so sorry. It's so hard to get over a relationship that you put so much of yourself into. But trust me, time heals. Sending love.
What helped me was not living in the fantasy. Once you live in the reality of what and who he really was you wouldn’t want him back. Give up the fantasy. That’s where all the pain is coming from
Yeah 3 years still feeling it but I’m a lot better 😢 makes it worst when they meet someone straight away 😢
Does anyone feel like many of our marriages are ending as a way to illuminate just how codependent so many of us are? That’s how I feel about my divorce (married 18 years, together 23. I basically initiated the divorce.)
Dealing with the loneliness and terror of being alone, maybe dying “alone” had been heart wrenching. But also freeing.
I haven’t dated, though he now has a girlfriend. I’d like to learn how to be alone and happy with me. ❤
Sending love to everyone going through this!
Thanks for posting this video. I’ve lost nearly all of me - I’m just now reclaiming myself. Looking at divorce is so hard - it feels freeing and sad all at once. If it weren’t for my kids, I would probably cave and stay in the abuse. To answer your question, my biggest concern is my kids’ mental and physical health. They have been mentally, verbally, and emotionally abused, and isolated from society in large part. They want out - asking me to leave. They want freedom. They are teens now, but I still fear losing them to their dad, the abuser.
Children have an incredible ability to bounce back, even more than we do. They're fighters. Believe in them and be an incredible example for them of what a strong and courageous person looks like. Sending you all my love. If you need to reach out to discuss further you can contact me at miraclemakermom.com
He's asking for a divorce after 22yrs. I literally want to die. This is the worse feeling I've ever felt. It's only been almost 3 months.
I needed this. I’m going to be leaving my husband of 3 years because he’s been aggressively abusive since my one year old was born. I read that abusers are usually triggered by a big change and it’s so sad that the birth of our child was his trigger. I grew up without a father and it wasn’t the greatest feeling in the world, so when I have to make this choice to take my baby’s father away from her... it hurts more than the abuse did. I’m trying to be okay with it. I’m glad that I’m leaving but I can’t help but be so broken for everything that happened and the wasted years and heart break... I’m just so incredibly sad...
I'm so so sorry to hear that you're going through this. My heart is with you, sending you a big virtual hug. Sometimes our kids have to go through things that we don't want for them, but we just don't have control over everything. My kids are also growing up without a father. Sending you strength to be the best mother possible! I'm here if you need to talk.
Maybe in the future your child can reconnect with him. And sine u are not a couple anymore you could end up being friends . Sending love
So sorry that happened to you. 😢
16 years is exactly the same amount of time I was married before a Divorce. Divorce is almost worst then death. Thank you for the video. It was very inspiring to know that there still is life after a Divorce. It would be easy if I hated her, but I still loved her. Even more now as we are going through it. I am still trying to hold on, but it's just not working. Hopefully I can make an inspiring video of my own after I get over this Divorce. Thanks!
I am also like you cannot move on. I loved that alcoholic and abusive man so much. Feels like life ended. Cannot move on , I wish he will come back big as a changed man .
Self-reflection definitely helps with your recovery journey. Projecting yourself in the future with feeling better and doing things for yourself is so therapeutic.
Beautiful! But it's also important to allow oneself to sit with the grief.
I'm so hurt that I cannot even listen to music. Every song reminds me of him. I tried to keep my mind busy doing other things. Its so hard though
I m here for you
Hi Marlene, so sorry what you are going through. I am going through same. Pls how do u feel now? Does it get better?
Me too
I feel you. Best of luck to you. It is hard. 😢
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, I know I will get through this. By the way you are very beautiful and you have 8 children, you go girl!
That is so sweet of you to say! I'm sorry you're going through this. Not something anyone plans to have to face. Let me know if there's anything else I can do to support you. Sending all my love!
Crazy. That how many kids me and my wife had. We had a really big combind family and the kids are not taking it well. They are acting out and it's sad.
Thanks. Good advice
Great advice
Great video, very informative, In need some advice though, if anyone out there can help, please do. I've been divorced from my ex-wife and mother of my son for about 8 years. For 8 years I've pretty much isolated myself romantically. I've dated here and there but have pretty much refused to let anyone into my heart. I've never introduced my son to anyone I've dated and have never wanted to. About 3 months ago on my birthday I met the most amazing woman I've ever met. It sounds cliche but it was love at first sight. She's the best. We connect on every level. We feel the same about each other in that for us this is the best emotional and sexual connection either of us have had and we're both 33 and 34 years old. The problem is I met her one month after she had just separated from her asshole husband of 12 years. We tried being casual but things got really serious and the feelings just kept getting stronger between us. She loves me, and confessed that she wants to have a life with me just like I do with her, even telling me she sees herself carrying my next child, something she never felt for her ex. She even loves the idea of being a stepmom to my son and she would make an amazing mother. Unfortunately she isn't ready to commit herself to me fully. I'm having a hard time with this but for 2 and a half months we had been getting by. The thought of her being with other guys during this time was killing me inside but I fought through that because I truly love this woman. 2 weeks ago she asked for a break, so she can grieve her marriage dying because she's been avoiding feeling the pain since it happened. I understand this and have given her the space, and I'm willing to give her more if she needs it. But on my end I've been a mess. It's been 2 weeks and I can't stop thinking about her. I've been running every morning and I find myself crying at dawn at the race track hoping the tears pass off as sweat, having crying fits at work. This is horrible. I watched a bunch of divorce vids online to see if I could understand her better, and it's scary thinking some people take years to get over it. I don't know what to do. I closed myself off for 8 years, and I'm afraid if this doesn't work out, I'm going to die alone before I'm able to trust someone enough to love them. Sorry for the long message, love your videos. Lots of love to all those out there going through a rough time.
You had 8 years to get over your divorce if you love her then you should give her time to get over hers. Live your life and enjoy it so she can get attracted to someone who has a life. Don’t be so desperate to be her rebound.
I really understand I have been so torn with this marriage I'm in and it is ending and is so sad I think I'm co dependent and I'm not healthy but very scared to be alone or not being able to be with someone to love and to love me back before I die it takes so much work to build relationships and I believe cowards are the ones who take advantage of the love given to them I wish the best for you and hope she is the one for you god bless you always🙏
4 years married my husband drinks and abuse financially and emotionally, he never communicate he never been wrong I’m more than tired I’m ready to leave but I’m still struggling with shame as a Christian woman I feel I fail but I tried everything. My family his family gave up bn on him I kept faith but God doesn’t change by force 😢till he ask God for help. I hope the fear of shame will go away in Jesus name🙌🏾❤️🇨🇦
Not sure I’m taking your advice.
Very good advice. Each person is different. Each person has his or own journey forward. It will certainly take time. For me I enjoy painting and losing myself in binging shows like House of Cards and Game of Thrones. Find your lifeline. Deno.
Amazing video. I am more concerned about my son’s connection with me. My husband and I will share custody 50% - 50%. It hurts so much, thx for this video. It spoke to me.
Hello friend, I can recommend you to the powerful love specialist who helped me restored my marriage back after divorce, he can also help you..
I’m going through the same thing every night I Cry thinking of my sons future of not having a father . He been Abusive ever since he was 1 year old and I been pushing this relationship for my son of the fear of him not having his dad. His dad never spoke to him in months and he already moved on but we not divorced yet maybe.. I just don’t know how I will handle everything alone
I'm so sad to hear what you're going through. Sounds to me like you might be better off without him though. I'm sad that my kids don't have a dad around, but honestly I'm a better mom now, and that's what they need - a happy and strong mother. You can do this. Give yourself time to mourn... and then straighten your back, square your shoulders and said I can do this!!! Reach out if I can help.
How long does the process of morn take?
I am mourning from last five years.The pain is always there.Scared to meet anyone.Hardly talking to anyone.
Thank you... I am worried that the kids will lose their dad because he is not their biological father. I fear he is a feather in a wind storm.
Wow, that's hard. Have you discussed this with him? How does he feel?
I can’t see how a man can actually file for divorce with you ? You’re so inspiring and gorgeous … I wanna meet you and hang out;)
Thank you that's very kind :)
@@bethechangeparenting you’re welcome. Hope you’re doing well
My husband and I are getting a divorce. I still love him he still loves me . But we both have made a mess of things spending our best years unhappy with each other. He filed I didn't want to , 22 years with this man and I can't imagine life without him. But he's ready , we will always be family always be close he is not gonna let me stuggle and is still gonna give me money every month even though our kids are grown . He loves me enough to not let me do without even buying everything I need for my new home furniture food everything. I am codependent and on disability, he knows I would struggle without his help . I am fortunate enough to still have him take care of me and still be there for me. My problem isn't any of that, it's coping without him and moving on . It's so hard .
Wow. That's really so hard. It's not going to be a simple thing. 22 years. Wow. Sending you so much strength to get through it. If you need some support I'm here for you. I can help you release trapped emotions if you like.... I have 15 minute consult slots on my website: www.emotionalhealing.guru/ (This is what I do professionally - energy healing)
I didn't want to divorce but my wife just absconded and said goodbye, now I am just going through so much pain and restlessness and not able to sleep not abl to eat I am so dead from inside I don't know what to do I feel like am alone in this world can't talk to anyone
How to help my self?
So sorry to hear. Sending strength to move forward.
Time will heal. Allow yourself to feel the pain. Don't run from it. Cry, sing, cry some more. And slowly but surely you'll see you will start to feel a little better. Start doing things to fill yourself up emotionally.
With 8 kids how the hell u have time for anything
Great question, maybe I'll make a video about that!
it’s all for women… i just guess.. empowered so yes , always the victims