When a nosey person asks questions, I ask,"Why?" This catches them off guard. I have told people that it was none of they're business before. No beating around the bush.
I need to find a tactful way of saying it in order to not alow them to use my objection as a way to point me out as being ride when I am simply setting my professional boundaries.
A taxi driver asked me if I was protestant (everybody made me this question because of my looks) and I asked back: "Why do you wanna know, sir?" It was useless strategy, he kept insisting to know what religion I supported. I am atheist lol
Some have said they ask and want to know so that they could pray for me... I know it is not God's fault that some christians are too nosy. Some people just are nosy
My response to an intrusive person; I very politely respond by saying; "I realize you may be asking a simple common question, but with all due respect, I take my right to privacy very seriously and you should do the same." I just love the freedom of independence.
I like that except for telling them they should do the same. I’m not an authority to tell them what they should do, just as they aren’t an authority for me to answer to.
There's also Intrusiveness where people like family will share all of your information with other people. Best not to share any sensitive stuff with big mouth people because they don't care about your privacy.
Just ignore them. They know what they're doing, subtily dumping their negativity on you and looking for any unpleasant exchange with which to boost their pathetic egos. They do know better. Empty shells they are. Give them nothing.
@@maryfimielkowski220 , I usually use humour and say Oooh, someone is nosey, haha and NOT answer the Q, or I just play dumb. But if they keep pushing, in the end, I'll just tell them, why do you want to know? Im clearly a private person, yet you seem to keep pushing and not respecting my boundaries. You don't owe them anything. They will cry wolf and get all defensive but remember you did nothing wrong. They are the ones that didn't care for your feelings after you said no, but still pushed for more, so you are within your right to tell them exactly what they're doing
@@maryfimielkowski220depends what’s the problem but I cut them off. I am just sad I didn’t cut them off sooner, because they crossed my boundaries which I could avoid.
I had that for many years with intrusive neighbors who banged on my door for these fake conversations like we were friends. I told them not to knock unless it was important. Haha! They kept at it so I stopped answering the door if I knew it was them. Then we got security cameras and they stopped, but to be safe I ignore everything about them. And now I close the door on their face if I have to.
@@johnandrew1727 wow people are so clueless.!! I can't even imagine your frustration on this. My mom's neighbor is intrusive comes over every day. He thinks everybody has a buzz and wants yap it up whenever he starts his after-work beer drinking. I told her I'd lose my mind, I hate people showing up unannounced, My husband always says do not make friends with your neighbors.lol
I had an experience with a total stranger in the grocery story being intrusive with me. I screamed out help!!! Help!!! This woman is attacking me. People came running over to see what was going on. They got the manager and escorted her out of the store. My point here is. These people need to be dealt with in this manner. They are dangerous.
@@loverofthetruth6085 No it's called not being a pussy. The lady talking for help when a stranger is being intrusive is the crazy one? You must be a whacko. I would have told her to "fuck of bitch" but yelling help also gets the job done.
@@loverofthetruth6085 No she is not,she is right,when I was younger I was doing the opposite of what OP did and I was very polite and answer all kinds of questions that should not have been asked and those persons would always use my answers to their questions against me in one form or another. They are really dangerous and you have the right to protect yourself against verbal abuse because that is what these people do,they will abuse you IF you let them.
For me it’s not the inconvenience/discomfort that they cause but the principle behind presuming that I’m required to answer questions. She’s absolutely right about how dignifying their questions with answers is essentially rewarding and encouraging their invasive nature.
True!! You can bet that if they get one answer, they're going to dig deeper and keep going until the dawn's early light. I have a cousin who constantly asks me my work schedule Every Time I see her, or even speak with her on the phone. Since I am in healthcare, my schedule is different every week; sometimes I cannot answer her unless I have my schedule right in front of me. Sometimes I wonder if she needs money or if she is reporting back to my other cousins about my work. Either way, it feels Very intrusive. The next time she brings it up, I'll just say...you know Mary, please just let me know if you are in some kind of financial trouble...but then she might take the bait and run with that! Help!! I don't know what to say to get her off my case about my exact work schedule; when I'm not at work, I don't want to think about work or talk about work. Maybe I could just say that?
Don’t take the bait, I have an Aunt like this, your cousin has a hidden agenda to tell all of your business to any and everyone that listens, probably low key jealous of you and living vicariously. I would just let all calls go to voicemail and text messaging to limit conversations.
Dealing with an intrusive “friend” right now. They can be so sweet, thoughtful and caring but you have to wonder if they’re trying to “buy you” in order to be able to get more information out of you. Every time I spend time with this person, I find myself highly drained and annoyed. They’ve helped me a lot financially so I feel a little guilty for feeling this way towards them. But I have to protect my peace and boundaries. I’ve vented to my family about this and they think it’s me just not being “open” or “friendly” 🙄
Omg this is meee!!! But yes not cuz they helped us financially they have the right to own us or cross boundaries. It was great and kind of them to help but there is a difference!
@@Abcd-dz2bn …. I know the feeling… they feel because they helped you they are entitled to know your business… what gets me is he asks the same question 9,000 ways and it’s annoying as hell…..
my problem with some intrusive people is that they're causing INCONVENIENCE to me. disrespectful af kind of people when i didn't do anything bad to them smh
Literally tell them "mind you're business fucking bitch" and they will likely piss off. I just 10 minutes ago told my neighbor to fuck herself and I feel a great weight lifted off my shoulders.
Laura Kosonen this is so important to remember, most people feel an awkward duty to respond but if someone’s prying you have the option to not answer or change the subject
Some elderly people are so wrapped up in what their neighbours are getting up to because they can't deal with being alone and having nothing to do. They should get a hobby.
What about the people that dump all their personal stuff on you, but don’t want to get to know you! I end up learning way too much about people that I don’t want to know!
I have an acquaintance who is intrusive...showing up unannounced...goes around my neighborhood introducing herself. Very nosy...wants to know everyone's business but secretive about hers. She pumps you for info and uses it to stir up discord. She is also very bossy. I put up with it for a long time. She crossed many lines with me, but when she intetferted with my daughter...I lowered the boom on her and quit going to the door, changed my phone #. Ugh.
Been there myself some people just don't know how to give up so if they can't get it out of you they start asking other people. It's not good if you have something in the past that you would rather keep to yourself
There are a lot of people like this in the south. It is practically the culture especially among women. People think it is southern hospitality but it really is not. It is just people being nice by being nosy. Being raised with manners should be raised with boundaries as well. These people do not respect you and do not respect your boundaries. People will treat you how you will allow them to treat you.
Intrusive people are so used to getting their way. Once you let them in, it's really hard to establish firm boundaries. I end up cutting ties with them. It's too much pressure and I detach.
I have this all the time, but let me tell one that was outreageous. I had a old man neighbor that rarely greet me when he walked by me, which I don't care. One day he approached me out of the blue and asked me "what do you do for a living, what's your job" "where do you work". I said work somewhere and he keeps digging and I give fake information and change subject. I can't believe why you want to know where I work. Never cares about me. Never knocks my door to offer anything, only approach me to be intrusive. Don't you love your neighbors? They only knock your doors for problem, to be a pest, never to please you.
Intrusive is also a cousin to playing on your boundaries..people that usually have that type of nerve..Have the nerve to ASK WHY ?.I DONT MIND YOUR BUSINESS GET A LIFE!.
There is so many girls from my class asking me like what my parents do for work, how much do they earn, what car do they drive and it is so annoying...
I have a maintenance man that lives in our complex. One day he held my car door open asking where I was going. He wanted a rude. This made me so uncomfortable. He tried to pick up my rabbit without asking & scared him. He recently asked me what I order since I get Amazon deliveries often. I was so annoyed.
I can't stand getting grilled by a group of peers, when I'm the main focus... It just creeps me out! It feels like I'm being sized up (or down). I had some young women grill me at work and asked if I had kids, I said I don't, then they asked if considered adoption, etc. I just said that I don't know if that's my calling in life but everyone is different.
We have a Woman in our Condominium who marches up to our front doors and will bang on it, wait 2 minutes. If You don't answer her, she will come back later, knock again. She's even followed people into their homes, opened THEIR doors and Walked/Waltzed right in. She tried that with me and would stay until SHE was ready to go home. I knew she'd only hear the "Oh, _____, you are so sweet." and Not the "You need to leave.". So I finally showed her my address and said "This is my House, don't come around any more." and closed the door in her face. She also likes to give out Hugs without asking and won't give the person the chance to say No. She'll say "I'm going to give you a Hug." and next thing you know, she's hugging you. She even made a Dad make his Daughter Hug her and she was so PROUD she "got" her hug. So when she said "I'm going to give You a hug." I was "No." When she wouldn't listen to me, I raised my voice and said "I said "No", now leave me alone.". Needless to say she's not spoken to Me since or says "Hiii______" as if I've hurt her feelings. Unfortunately I am onto that Guilt Trip game.
Crazy nosy rude landlords make it so challenging when they ask uncomfortable personal questions wanting to know everything about one's entire life. If they are racist even worse. Common sense really isn't common in many cases which is sad but true.
@@ellaluvs21suarez32 so true.. I know the feeling. Especially parents and even siblings.. You make a fuckin noise waking up, god forbid you dont have wooden floors and the house quiet, they get mad an intrusive over your existence...
You clearly also refuse to check your spelling and punctuation before posting. "Breech" refers to an atypical birth position for a foetus. You meant "breach" but didn't bother to spell it correctly. You also left out the full stop at the end of your sentence.
Made the mistake of being polite to a new neighbor and before you know it she’s banging on my door like we’re friends. She ended up at my moms funeral then later storms in my garage asking me how much money I inherited! Now I ignore her calls texts unless important emergency as we live in a condo building and share walls with her.
True story..first time we invited newlywed neighbours into our home...she got up from table where we were having coffee and opened our fridge pantry kitchen cabinets. When her husband looked beyond shocked embarrassed she said she was checking to see if they were same as what they had. But didn't explain why she looked under our bed when we showed them master ensuite when touring house. She also asked price of items which we simply said we couldn't remember hoping she would take hint. She repeatedly has offered to watch our home whenever we are out of town. Needless to say...will never happen.
@Speranza Sempre I wish we had forseen her snoopy behaviour & placed a mannequin under bed...lol. She works fulltime but still knows every move we all make. We suspect indoor cameras in windows facing the street as she knows exact time ppl leave.
Job interviews are full of intrusive questions. How much did you make in your last position? Why should that matter to them? They better pay market value or higher.
What I did with a few gossip hounds I knew was I just made up any B.S. crap I could think of for an answer. I lied to everybody all the time. Eventually everyone just stopped talking to me, because they could never believe a damned thing I ever said! 😄🤣
I've learnt to give very vague answers to nosey neighbours. One neighbour always asks me where I'm going and I just say I've got an appointment, even if I'm only going shopping. I also find nosey people very gossipy, nasty and jealous.
I live with a person.who seems to know every private detail of my life. We are not married and never been together, I do not like it. I believe it is some type of demon..im trying to leave but I haven't been able to .. it seems super natural
I don't understand why some ppl have the NEED to see what others are eating.. having been raised by narcissistic parents who try to control everything I do and know every fart of mine, it is triggering.. it's always the same ppl at work/school/housemates, some run towards me the minute I get some food out and have the damn NEED to check exactly what I'm eating.. wtf
Showing up to my house unannounced. I felt pissed but I was the nice gal. It didn't feel very good. I enjoy the company in small bits but not unannounced.
Fr I’m not used to people taking interest in me or anything I do and I got a Roomster roommate who notices everything I do and always brings it to my attention.... I’m actually thinking about moving because I’m a very private person and that’s too close for comfort. I don’t like people observing and predicting my movements like some type of National Geographic... instead I get alert and defensive like I’m some hunter’s prey... the funny part is I remember what i did two weeks ago bc he’s been recording the shit back to me instead of minding his business. Now days I carry a blade around in case he tries anything.... it’s annoying but at the same time I think I suffer from high anxiety.
I had this older lady who was envious of me ask me if this was really my house, if the cake I offered her was made from scratch, if I remember the name of a person who hired me, she was just trying to find dirt on me because she was envious
If they repeatedly knock on your door or other type behavior. Just politely but straightforwardly tell them "you need to stop doing this" and tell them "you know I don't answer, you know I don't want to be bothered and yet you keep doing this. I don't have to answer my door to you. I don't have to answer to you. You know better. No go on your way mam and have a nice day. Goodbye mam. Uh uh." They will not have much response and should rightfully feel a little embarrassed. And there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe even learn to behave better? Like talking to a child. What has happened to polite , honest and assertive communication?
And then after doing such, there are the ones who laugh at you and say... Who are you? As they were the ones being intrusive.. And to add.. Im black and mostly niggas do this.. Sorry not sorry
I refer to these personalty types as "feeder's" In the extreem they are, psychotic, obsessive, intimidating, frightening and one hundred percent intrusive, interfering into every detail of your life. They constantly look for ways to cause you pain. They are very selfish, spiteful and domineering people. The way to get rid of these types is to play to their vanity to the point that they are convinced they've got you and self assuredly, leave the relationship. Once gone, do not allow them back in no matter what! Consistently repeat to yourself and their ever listeninng ears ~ I'm not responsible for your actions in life! The answer's NO.
I work retail and I get more space from customers then I do my co workers. Just because I work with you does not mean you get to know everything, it's called fucking all the way off.
If you are unwelcome, uninvited, uncomfortable, and annoying, know that you should be busy improving yourself to be a better individual even if the people around you are teaching you to be intrusive and nosy.
4:04 Females are TRAINED to not offend, and are SANCTIONED much more than males in society. This is not a desire to be a "doormat," which is ridiculous. It is a desire to have smooth relations and NO PUNISHMENT.
A good answer to the question "how much money do you earn?" is "I don't know" Then if they persist a good come back to their persistence is "well actually yeah I do know how much money I earn" They usually take the hint after that.
For me intrusive is a coworker or something that tries too hard to be apart of your life outside of work, don't get me wrong I'm social and like hanging out but what does it is when they're trying to meet all your family or go with you to your families places out of town
thank goodness no..i have someone who i know is a gossip about my business and a busybody, not at all impressed with her but that is straight up psychotic behaviour Dude you should call the police and file a restraining order on them! :|
@@vvelvettearss not at that job anymore but yea no I definitely set that boundary at any new job I'm at "(insert workplace) staff not (insert workplace) friends"
Dealing with an intrusive knowitall neighbor. Stops to drop off food says ignorant ass things to flare me up. I’m caught off guard most times. I need help.
ive noticed nosey sad people getting cancer and having heart attacks in the street , also sad miserable people who have a crap life want to bring you down to their miserable sad level
I have a rule that if anybody persists in asking me questions that are strictly need-to-know and they don’t qualify I have the choice to make up any answer I want if I choose to answer at all.
This is how I deal with it: Intrusive person: how much money do you make? Me: that’s a personal question that I will not answer Intrude person: but in our town this is a common question Me: that’s how you were raised . I was raised to respect people’s privacy Intrusive person: but you live here now Me: yes, i will adopt some of your customs but will not adopt all of them Intrusive person: you’re weird Me: yes, it’s called having boundaries Telling people that they’re going too far with their questions is not rude, it’s educational. If you’re ok sharing personal information that’s your problem but don’t asume that all people will share.
Man I tell ya! Then where is the line between getting to know ppl & making friends? And then everyone has different boundaries! Some are ok with certain questions & some aren't! Geez Louise! But yeah, that money question is too much for most ppl!
This really comes from thw fact that law enforcement and government do little to nothing when it comes to these types of things.. Like being stalky josy etc... As they do it themselves.. Think about hoe many times you watched America's most wanted with the stalking nosy shit and law enforcement can barely do anything... This is people taking it into their own hands
Sometimes I'm not even sure what their intention or motive is to ask such personal questions or things they might think could be a sore spot for you. Then I feel like saying something really sarcastic back but I know now I'm better off staying in a loving place and not lowering myself to their level. Yes how do I do this to where I'm honoring myself? I'm floored by relatives and their treatment of me. I have always been the family scapegoat. I'm done playing my part. I no longer want to participate so I've removed myself because I don't know really what else to do. I still have some contact.
1:50 No the brain doesn’t tell you- like she said in the beginning, your gut feeling does. The brain starts to offer you excuses on how to explain your Saying NO, coz not being nice is so allegedly “illegal” and scary. And if you listen to the brain- you give in eventually.
True. I give them straight answer and then ask what is your purpose and agenda on why are you being intrusive And when they say nah nothin... then I slap them a statement just stop being intrusive and be sensitive and stop.
True but don't you ever wonder if there's something wrong with a person who allows others to mistreat them? That question helped me in my life see I was the common denominator in a lot of abusive scenarios, and I needed to change my mindset to change the surroundings and behaviors that made me more susceptible to being abused, victimized, or preyed on in any way
My neighbours have gone one step ahead then the usual intrusion. They have trespassed, hacked, monitored and stalked me. Its fine though because they aint God and Gods reality and purpose is the only one I should except and if that includes this then so be it! Ps I can hear scurrying around like you got jitterbug disease.
I am in a situation where I work as a checkout clerk in a small corner store and as a part of my job I have to sell customers their requested cigarettes over the counter. But every once-in-a-while an impatient customer (usually a middle-aged guy) starts prompting me on every single step, like some kind of dog trainer pushing his dog through every minute step. This has happened often enough that I am ready to blow up and let the next person who does this really have it. I don't need this stupid prompting and in fact it is making it harder for me. Plus as a guy myself it is a bit humiliating and all I take away from this exchange is anger. but I never have the presence of mind to redirect this dynamic.
Who do I need to contact about my cell phone being illegally being monitor.? I have been harassed for to long by them . They have talked bad about me to my employers. I got recording .
Am a Kenyan..got into freelancing..so I just stay in the house and make money...my girlfriend is in the corporate..in a very good position...so some people who believe they 'deserve & should own her' don't know why she keeps hanging around with me...am the guy who is always in a t-shirt, big hair...so they think being in a suit is the real deal to entice women...so am really pissed, my girlfriend is uncomfortable as well..everyone always watching when we hang out...we live in a small town and am scared/uncomfortable at times...give me advise guys ...I feel intruded
What could I say to a guy who asks me in the supermarket "are you a member of our non profit automobile car club"? I dont even want to answer with "no" or "yes", I dont want to give any information to anyone. Its hard to answer relativly polite in German, its easier in English.
I have a cousin by marriage (we're not blood related) and one time he asked what my Tcap scores were when I was 9 (I didn't answer him cus I myself didn't know, my mother hid that from me) and another time when I was 19 (we are 3 years apart btw), he asked me what I got on my Psat test (I've never took the Psat cus I'm bad at math), I just don't understand why he seems to be so obsessed with test scores for? (maybe it's his way of measuring his self worth?, or he's narcissistic and wants to show off that he has done better than me?, he has ADHD btw but some people have both NPD and ADHD), has anyone else experienced something like this before?
I lost my temper with two Intrusive people hopefully me being curt will make them back off,I tried being nice ,I tried being kind ,I tried being patient but it just made matters worse.
FYI... There's a reason your right to openly discuss your wages is a right, and is wrtiien into law. Your employers know you have this right. Hundreds of people have fought and died for your right to do so; it's precisely what labor day and May day are all about. It's one of the first rules in the employees bill of rights. I absolutly can't stand when people smugly and pretensiously defend such atrocious acts of selfishness. Doing so minnimizes the importance of having rights in the first place. You're taking a defensive posture, but you're not being attacked. Emphasizing such a position just subtly disenfranchises hard working people by limiting their ability to assert themselves economically. Aside from that this was a great segment on a subject that could use more discussion. I've found it informative and very relatable.
Intrusive people do not respect other people’s personal boundaries.
Facts. I don't mind answering their questions in a sense don't ask questions you don't want answers too.
Yes omg so true
Yes Lord .
agree!!!
They don’t.
When a nosey person asks questions, I ask,"Why?" This catches them off guard. I have told people that it was none of they're business before. No beating around the bush.
I did that once and the person got offended.. lol.. "It's just a question." -they said.. aff
I need to find a tactful way of saying it in order to not alow them to use my objection as a way to point me out as being ride when I am simply setting my professional boundaries.
A taxi driver asked me if I was protestant (everybody made me this question because of my looks) and I asked back: "Why do you wanna know, sir?" It was useless strategy, he kept insisting to know what religion I supported. I am atheist lol
@@soskika419 So rude! Why does it matter to anyone providing a service?
Some have said they ask and want to know so that they could pray for me... I know it is not God's fault that some christians are too nosy. Some people just are nosy
They have no life and want yours))
I couldn't have put it better.
So true, no wonder why I'm pestered on a daily base.... there's lies n rumors out....
My response to an intrusive person; I very politely respond by saying; "I realize you may be asking a simple common question, but with all due respect, I take my right to privacy very seriously and you should do the same." I just love the freedom of independence.
Going in my arsenal, for sure. Good one
That is a very honest response for someone who asks personal questions like that... Nice!
I like that except for telling them they should do the same. I’m not an authority to tell them what they should do, just as they aren’t an authority for me to answer to.
@@Gemmarose9012 good point, thank you.
They want attention. I just say nothing and ignore them. They want the negative engagement and hate not getting it.
The worst thing about nosy people is they're so damn sensitive to rejection even though they have hundreds of friends on fb..
LMAO, literally
Facts
This is making my blood boil. I’m dealing with an intrusive woman like that right now.
There's also Intrusiveness where people like family will share all of your information with other people. Best not to share any sensitive stuff with big mouth people because they don't care about your privacy.
Hallelujah to your comment🙌🙌🙌🙌 so true!
Yes yes yes!
Yep. You have to put them in their place. Smh. She gave really good advice.
You hit the target on this one 🎯👍
I think they do this out of jealousy. They will try to sully your name if they think you're doing good.
Just ignore them. They know what they're doing, subtily dumping their negativity on you and looking for any unpleasant exchange with which to boost their pathetic egos. They do know better. Empty shells they are. Give them nothing.
YYYEEESSSS
What do you do with people that refuse to take NO for an answer ??
@@maryfimielkowski220 , I usually use humour and say Oooh, someone is nosey, haha and NOT answer the Q, or I just play dumb.
But if they keep pushing, in the end, I'll just tell them, why do you want to know? Im clearly a private person, yet you seem to keep pushing and not respecting my boundaries.
You don't owe them anything. They will cry wolf and get all defensive but remember you did nothing wrong. They are the ones that didn't care for your feelings after you said no, but still pushed for more, so you are within your right to tell them exactly what they're doing
@@maryfimielkowski220depends what’s the problem but I cut them off.
I am just sad I didn’t cut them off sooner, because they crossed my boundaries which I could avoid.
No. Is a complete answer!@@maryfimielkowski220
Intrusive "friends" showing up at my front door unannounced. UGH.
I had that for many years with intrusive neighbors who banged on my door for these fake conversations like we were friends. I told them not to knock unless it was important. Haha! They kept at it so I stopped answering the door if I knew it was them. Then we got security cameras and they stopped, but to be safe I ignore everything about them. And now I close the door on their face if I have to.
@@johnandrew1727 wow people are so clueless.!! I can't even imagine your frustration on this. My mom's neighbor is intrusive comes over every day. He thinks everybody has a buzz and wants yap it up whenever he starts his after-work beer drinking. I told her I'd lose my mind, I hate people showing up unannounced, My husband always says do not make friends with your neighbors.lol
AMEN! They never think "maybe they are busy I should call first." I wouldn't want to be at someone's place who didn't invite me, you know.
Or opening the door and just barging in unannounced!!!
Damn
I had an experience with a total stranger in the grocery story being intrusive with me. I screamed out help!!! Help!!! This woman is attacking me. People came running over to see what was going on. They got the manager and escorted her out of the store. My point here is. These people need to be dealt with in this manner. They are dangerous.
Some things must be done for the greater good.
Sounds like you are the crazy person here. Unless they were physically threatening you, then yelling help was an extreme overeaction.
Lol I bet she learn her lesson especially when u don’t know the person has nothing in common with them most of times it about gossip about someone
@@loverofthetruth6085 No it's called not being a pussy. The lady talking for help when a stranger is being intrusive is the crazy one? You must be a whacko. I would have told her to "fuck of bitch" but yelling help also gets the job done.
@@loverofthetruth6085 No she is not,she is right,when I was younger I was doing the opposite of what OP did and I was very polite and answer all kinds of questions that should not have been asked and those persons would always use my answers to their questions against me in one form or another. They are really dangerous and you have the right to protect yourself against verbal abuse because that is what these people do,they will abuse you IF you let them.
For me it’s not the inconvenience/discomfort that they cause but the principle behind presuming that I’m required to answer questions.
She’s absolutely right about how dignifying their questions with answers is essentially rewarding and encouraging their invasive nature.
True!! You can bet that if they get one answer, they're going to dig deeper and keep going until the dawn's early light. I have a cousin who constantly asks me my work schedule Every Time I see her, or even speak with her on the phone. Since I am in healthcare, my schedule is different every week; sometimes I cannot answer her unless I have my schedule right in front of me. Sometimes I wonder if she needs money or if she is reporting back to my other cousins about my work. Either way, it feels Very intrusive. The next time she brings it up, I'll just say...you know Mary, please just let me know if you are in some kind of financial trouble...but then she might take the bait and run with that! Help!! I don't know what to say to get her off my case about my exact work schedule; when I'm not at work, I don't want to think about work or talk about work. Maybe I could just say that?
Don’t take the bait, I have an Aunt like this, your cousin has a hidden agenda to tell all of your business to any and everyone that listens, probably low key jealous of you and living vicariously. I would just let all calls go to voicemail and text messaging to limit conversations.
@@cdubz265 Thank you for the Great response idea!! I Like it!
@ToddWraith-qu8nl Thank you for your Great Response Idea!! I Really Like it!!
I'm a blunt person so I just tell intrusive people to get the fuck away. Problem solved! 😂
Narcissist are very Intrusive, it's extremely annoying
Dealing with an intrusive “friend” right now. They can be so sweet, thoughtful and caring but you have to wonder if they’re trying to “buy you” in order to be able to get more information out of you. Every time I spend time with this person, I find myself highly drained and annoyed. They’ve helped me a lot financially so I feel a little guilty for feeling this way towards them. But I have to protect my peace and boundaries. I’ve vented to my family about this and they think it’s me just not being “open” or “friendly” 🙄
Man this hits close
Omg this is meee!!! But yes not cuz they helped us financially they have the right to own us or cross boundaries. It was great and kind of them to help but there is a difference!
Please drop that person, people should never leave you drained. Trust me, they are bad news.
@@Abcd-dz2bn …. I know the feeling… they feel because they helped you they are entitled to know your business… what gets me is he asks the same question 9,000 ways and it’s annoying as hell…..
I feel you. The guilt is the worst and can stop you from doing what you want
my problem with some intrusive people is that they're causing INCONVENIENCE to me. disrespectful af kind of people when i didn't do anything bad to them smh
Literally tell them "mind you're business fucking bitch" and they will likely piss off. I just 10 minutes ago told my neighbor to fuck herself and I feel a great weight lifted off my shoulders.
@@gardenho173 How has that gone for you? That's definitely an option for me.
@@gardenho173 not a good idea. Could escalate quickly. Ultimately what they want is attention so it's best to ignore them at all cost.
@@fresnoniiji Nah you're just a weakling.
@@gardenho173 nah your just a hater
If someone asks you a question you don't have to answer it's your choice.
Laura Kosonen this is so important to remember, most people feel an awkward duty to respond but if someone’s prying you have the option to not answer or change the subject
Yea its amazing that people think yiu have to... It's the govern-mental hierarchy brainwashing
I hate pushy people and old nosy neighbors
Me too April.. saving up to leave asap.
Some elderly people are so wrapped up in what their neighbours are getting up to because they can't deal with being alone and having nothing to do. They should get a hobby.
I’m annoyed with fake friends who like to know my story but their story remains an enigma. YOU ARE NOT MY F*****G FRIEND!
This is literally it... I dont fucking get it.. And size you up based on race color or creed.. Usually opposite of theirs
Sadly Ive made this mistake one too many times 😭😭😭😭 I suck at dealing w this...
What about the people that dump all their personal stuff on you, but don’t want to get to know you! I end up learning way too much about people that I don’t want to know!
I have an acquaintance who is intrusive...showing up unannounced...goes around my neighborhood introducing herself. Very nosy...wants to know everyone's business but secretive about hers. She pumps you for info and uses it to stir up discord. She is also very bossy. I put up with it for a long time. She crossed many lines with me, but when she intetferted with my daughter...I lowered the boom on her and quit going to the door, changed my phone #. Ugh.
Very manipulative too.
Lynn Lamont NARCISSIST WITCH.. You Got rid of her...Thank God.
Never ever trust these people, tell them crazy lies and see if they come back to you 😂 always a good test
I agree with the news reporter lady people sometimes catch you off guard you don't know how to respond.
Here’s how you deal with it: you don’t! Just distance yourself.
They also stalk you
By asking people who might know you
So they can attack you with info they’ve gathered on you.
Been there myself some people just don't know how to give up so if they can't get it out of you they start asking other people. It's not good if you have something in the past that you would rather keep to yourself
There are a lot of people like this in the south. It is practically the culture especially among women. People think it is southern hospitality but it really is not. It is just people being nice by being nosy. Being raised with manners should be raised with boundaries as well. These people do not respect you and do not respect your boundaries. People will treat you how you will allow them to treat you.
Absolute facts!
I’m surrounded by those nut cases!
Intrusive people are so used to getting their way. Once you let them in, it's really hard to establish firm boundaries. I end up cutting ties with them. It's too much pressure and I detach.
I have this all the time, but let me tell one that was outreageous. I had a old man neighbor that rarely greet me when he walked by me, which I don't care. One day he approached me out of the blue and asked me "what do you do for a living, what's your job" "where do you work". I said work somewhere and he keeps digging and I give fake information and change subject. I can't believe why you want to know where I work. Never cares about me. Never knocks my door to offer anything, only approach me to be intrusive. Don't you love your neighbors? They only knock your doors for problem, to be a pest, never to please you.
Intrusive is also a cousin to playing on your boundaries..people that usually have that type of nerve..Have the nerve to ASK WHY ?.I DONT MIND YOUR BUSINESS GET A LIFE!.
Exactly intrusive people have zero boundaries. People with zero boundaries can be dangerous. Run don’t walk
There is so many girls from my class asking me like what my parents do for work, how much do they earn, what car do they drive and it is so annoying...
I have a maintenance man that lives in our complex. One day he held my car door open asking where I was going. He wanted a rude. This made me so uncomfortable. He tried to pick up my rabbit without asking & scared him. He recently asked me what I order since I get Amazon deliveries often. I was so annoyed.
(a ride....typo)
I can't stand getting grilled by a group of peers, when I'm the main focus... It just creeps me out! It feels like I'm being sized up (or down). I had some young women grill me at work and asked if I had kids, I said I don't, then they asked if considered adoption, etc. I just said that I don't know if that's my calling in life but everyone is different.
We have a Woman in our Condominium who marches up to our front doors and will bang on it, wait 2 minutes. If You don't answer her, she will come back later, knock again. She's even followed people into their homes, opened THEIR doors and Walked/Waltzed right in.
She tried that with me and would stay until SHE was ready to go home. I knew she'd only hear the "Oh, _____, you are so sweet." and Not the "You need to leave.". So I finally showed her my address and said "This is my House, don't come around any more." and closed the door in her face.
She also likes to give out Hugs without asking and won't give the person the chance to say No. She'll say "I'm going to give you a Hug." and next thing you know, she's hugging you. She even made a Dad make his Daughter Hug her and she was so PROUD she "got" her hug.
So when she said "I'm going to give You a hug." I was "No." When she wouldn't listen to me, I raised my voice and said "I said "No", now leave me alone.". Needless to say she's not spoken to Me since or says "Hiii______" as if I've hurt her feelings. Unfortunately I am onto that Guilt Trip game.
The long stare while blinking is very effective. They get really uncomfortable and skulk off.
Hate when everybody says he’s your neighbor you have to be nice ugh no I don’t
And this is how people are brainwashed into following dumb rules when they are not hovering over their heads...
#conditioned #brainwashed
Crazy nosy rude landlords make it so challenging when they ask uncomfortable personal questions wanting to know everything about one's entire life. If they are racist even worse. Common sense really isn't common in many cases which is sad but true.
TemiDayo i rent a room and I can't leave my room cuz I know the owner there being nosy.she never goes out.
@@ellaluvs21suarez32 so true.. I know the feeling. Especially parents and even siblings.. You make a fuckin noise waking up, god forbid you dont have wooden floors and the house quiet, they get mad an intrusive over your existence...
I refuse the breech of privacy
You clearly also refuse to check your spelling and punctuation before posting. "Breech" refers to an atypical birth position for a foetus. You meant "breach" but didn't bother to spell it correctly. You also left out the full stop at the end of your sentence.
Just answer with a silent stare/glare and let it go on until they get the point.
I deal with nosy/intrusive people all the time. It gets on my nerves. Some people aren’t secure in themselves and feed off other people.
feeding off of other people sounds narcissistic (at best)
Made the mistake of being polite to a new neighbor and before you know it she’s banging on my door like we’re friends. She ended up at my moms funeral then later storms in my garage asking me how much money I inherited! Now I ignore her calls texts unless important emergency as we live in a condo building and share walls with her.
OMG
True story..first time we invited newlywed neighbours into our home...she got up from table where we were having coffee and opened our fridge pantry kitchen cabinets. When her husband looked beyond shocked embarrassed she said she was checking to see if they were same as what they had. But didn't explain why she looked under our bed when we showed them master ensuite when touring house. She also asked price of items which we simply said we couldn't remember hoping she would take hint. She repeatedly has offered to watch our home whenever we are out of town. Needless to say...will never happen.
@Speranza Sempre I wish we had forseen her snoopy behaviour & placed a mannequin under bed...lol. She works fulltime but still knows every move we all make. We suspect indoor cameras in windows facing the street as she knows exact time ppl leave.
She's weird. Keep her out of your home.
She sounds envious. She probably thinks that you're doing well for yourself and have a nice home/nice things. People like that are NOT to be trusted.
Intrusive people want you to answer in certain ways
Stop being intrusive
Job interviews are full of intrusive questions. How much did you make in your last position? Why should that matter to them? They better pay market value or higher.
And Wut Those r NARCISSIST
and they are not even interested tp even offer u the job either.
What I did with a few gossip hounds I knew was I just made up any B.S. crap I could think of for an answer. I lied to everybody all the time. Eventually everyone just stopped talking to me, because they could never believe a damned thing I ever said! 😄🤣
jeez haha i bet that was more peaceful!
Don't hire anyone next door or in the area for gardening,they want to live off you and harass if you want someone else..
I've learnt to give very vague answers to nosey neighbours. One neighbour always asks me where I'm going and I just say I've got an appointment, even if I'm only going shopping. I also find nosey people very gossipy, nasty and jealous.
You cannot ever trust these types
I live with a person.who seems to know every private detail of my life. We are not married and never been together, I do not like it. I believe it is some type of demon..im trying to leave but I haven't been able to .. it seems super natural
I don't understand why some ppl have the NEED to see what others are eating.. having been raised by narcissistic parents who try to control everything I do and know every fart of mine, it is triggering.. it's always the same ppl at work/school/housemates, some run towards me the minute I get some food out and have the damn NEED to check exactly what I'm eating.. wtf
Been there, got the t shirt. My classmates in secondary school were like that. Everything I did seemed to fascinate them.
Showing up to my house unannounced. I felt pissed but I was the nice gal. It didn't feel very good. I enjoy the company in small bits but not unannounced.
I love this. I tell people, I don't know you well enough, that's too personal, or I just leave it at that's too personal.
Oh my goodness, I love how this woman comes across. She has this healing effect. I needed to see this!
Fr I’m not used to people taking interest in me or anything I do and I got a Roomster roommate who notices everything I do and always brings it to my attention.... I’m actually thinking about moving because I’m a very private person and that’s too close for comfort. I don’t like people observing and predicting my movements like some type of National Geographic... instead I get alert and defensive like I’m some hunter’s prey... the funny part is I remember what i did two weeks ago bc he’s been recording the shit back to me instead of minding his business. Now days I carry a blade around in case he tries anything.... it’s annoying but at the same time I think I suffer from high anxiety.
Yes and no because im sorta the same.. But ive been hearing trust your gut alot lately your ok. Just margin it down to like im maybe 80 to 90% right..
Start praying n move !!
Nosy Neighbors are SO INTRUSIVE!!!
I had this older lady who was envious of me ask me if this was really my house, if the cake I offered her was made from scratch, if I remember the name of a person who hired me, she was just trying to find dirt on me because she was envious
They need a taste of there own medicine. They won't learn otherwise.
If they repeatedly knock on your door or other type behavior. Just politely but straightforwardly tell them "you need to stop doing this" and tell them "you know I don't answer, you know I don't want to be bothered and yet you keep doing this. I don't have to answer my door to you. I don't have to answer to you. You know better. No go on your way mam and have a nice day. Goodbye mam. Uh uh." They will not have much response and should rightfully feel a little embarrassed. And there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe even learn to behave better?
Like talking to a child.
What has happened to polite , honest and assertive communication?
And then after doing such, there are the ones who laugh at you and say... Who are you? As they were the ones being intrusive.. And to add.. Im black and mostly niggas do this.. Sorry not sorry
I refer to these personalty types as "feeder's"
In the extreem they are, psychotic, obsessive, intimidating, frightening and one hundred percent intrusive, interfering into every detail of your life.
They constantly look for ways to cause you pain. They are very selfish, spiteful and domineering people.
The way to get rid of these types is to play to their vanity to the point that they are convinced they've got you and self assuredly, leave the relationship.
Once gone, do not allow them back in no matter what!
Consistently repeat to yourself and their ever listeninng ears ~
I'm not responsible for your actions in life!
The answer's NO.
I work retail and I get more space from customers then I do my co workers. Just because I work with you does not mean you get to know everything, it's called fucking all the way off.
Boubdaries! These people more often had an overbearing parent or parents so they dont think
anything of it. They can also be narcissists
If you are unwelcome, uninvited, uncomfortable, and annoying, know that you should be busy improving yourself to be a better individual even if the people around you are teaching you to be intrusive and nosy.
4:04 Females are TRAINED to not offend, and are SANCTIONED much more than males in society. This is not a desire to be a "doormat," which is ridiculous. It is a desire to have smooth relations and NO PUNISHMENT.
My business is exactly that no one else’s, periodt! I just laugh in their face and carry on.
This is so incredible. Such valuable information!
A good answer to the question "how much money do you earn?" is "I don't know" Then if they persist a good come back to their persistence is "well actually yeah I do know how much money I earn" They usually take the hint after that.
stevo54838 .I did that..
I find "fuck off" much simpler.
or they don't..
@@marytheraspberry3145 If they don't then I guess not too rude to say "you don't need to know. I'm not telling you. It's non of your business"
For me intrusive is a coworker or something that tries too hard to be apart of your life outside of work, don't get me wrong I'm social and like hanging out but what does it is when they're trying to meet all your family or go with you to your families places out of town
thats straight up creepy
@@vvelvettearss ever have any bad ones like that?
thank goodness no..i have someone who i know is a gossip about my business and a busybody, not at all impressed with her but that is straight up psychotic behaviour
Dude you should call the police and file a restraining order on them! :|
they have absolutely NO business even knowing anything about your family or friends (unless you tell them) let alone meeting them!!
@@vvelvettearss not at that job anymore but yea no I definitely set that boundary at any new job I'm at "(insert workplace) staff not (insert workplace) friends"
Dealing with an intrusive knowitall neighbor. Stops to drop off food says ignorant ass things to flare me up. I’m caught off guard most times. I need help.
ive noticed nosey sad people getting cancer and having heart attacks in the street , also sad miserable people who have a crap life want to bring you down to their miserable sad level
I have a rule that if anybody persists in asking me questions that are strictly need-to-know and they don’t qualify I have the choice to make up any answer I want if I choose to answer at all.
I love this. I'm dealing with this at work.
This is how I deal with it:
Intrusive person: how much money do you make?
Me: that’s a personal question that I will not answer
Intrude person: but in our town this is a common question
Me: that’s how you were raised . I was raised to respect people’s privacy
Intrusive person: but you live here now
Me: yes, i will adopt some of your customs but will not adopt all of them
Intrusive person: you’re weird
Me: yes, it’s called having boundaries
Telling people that they’re going too far with their questions is not rude, it’s educational. If you’re ok sharing personal information that’s your problem but don’t asume that all people will share.
Highly informative. I really recommend the video.
Man I tell ya! Then where is the line between getting to know ppl & making friends? And then everyone has different boundaries! Some are ok with certain questions & some aren't! Geez Louise! But yeah, that money question is too much for most ppl!
This really comes from thw fact that law enforcement and government do little to nothing when it comes to these types of things.. Like being stalky josy etc... As they do it themselves.. Think about hoe many times you watched America's most wanted with the stalking nosy shit and law enforcement can barely do anything... This is people taking it into their own hands
I came here because they kept on pestering me about my lovelife and about my work even when I don't know my neighbor too much.
3:54 we just had controlling and narcissistic parents. Those who did not- do not have this problem.
If someone asks you a nosy question perhaps just give a very vague answer that doesn't really give any information.
When a person asks for your phone number and you do not want to give it to them..I will say no thank you..they can be like huh?
What about nosy people in public?
Victor Yanez Hate that shit, . But if the tables were turnt,. Theyd be like,. Mind your damn bussiness!. Makes no sense, ppl are crazy
Walk away.
Victor Yanez The kids..
I will say "this is none of your business. Get and stay out of it." to the intrusive people.
Sometimes I'm not even sure what their intention or motive is to ask such personal questions or things they might think could be a sore spot for you. Then I feel like saying something really sarcastic back but I know now I'm better off staying in a loving place and not lowering myself to their level. Yes how do I do this to where I'm honoring myself? I'm floored by relatives and their treatment of me. I have always been the family scapegoat. I'm done playing my part. I no longer want to participate so I've removed myself because I don't know really what else to do. I still have some contact.
Same.. Its ok
I just make shit up. None of their business.
Sounds like my father and his minions very intrusive and invasive .
1:50 No the brain doesn’t tell you- like she said in the beginning, your gut feeling does.
The brain starts to offer you excuses on how to explain your Saying NO, coz not being nice is so allegedly “illegal” and scary. And if you listen to the brain- you give in eventually.
True. I give them straight answer and then ask what is your purpose and agenda on why are you being intrusive And when they say nah nothin... then I slap them a statement just stop being intrusive and be sensitive and stop.
Why do people allow themselves to be doormats asshole question. Why are people being so damn nosy in the first place. Why victim shame?
True but don't you ever wonder if there's something wrong with a person who allows others to mistreat them? That question helped me in my life see I was the common denominator in a lot of abusive scenarios, and I needed to change my mindset to change the surroundings and behaviors that made me more susceptible to being abused, victimized, or preyed on in any way
My neighbours have gone one step ahead then the usual intrusion. They have trespassed, hacked, monitored and stalked me. Its fine though because they aint God and Gods reality and purpose is the only one I should except and if that includes this then so be it! Ps I can hear scurrying around like you got jitterbug disease.
You buried me in Sand didn't you Reddit!💯🌎😂✔️
I am in a situation where I work as a checkout clerk in a small corner store and as a part of my job I have to sell customers their requested cigarettes over the counter. But every once-in-a-while an impatient customer (usually a middle-aged guy) starts prompting me on every single step, like some kind of dog trainer pushing his dog through every minute step. This has happened often enough that I am ready to blow up and let the next person who does this really have it. I don't need this stupid prompting and in fact it is making it harder for me. Plus as a guy myself it is a bit humiliating and all I take away from this exchange is anger. but I never have the presence of mind to redirect this dynamic.
No one likes that, it's not worse to be bossed around because you're a guy.
Who do I need to contact about my cell phone being illegally being monitor.? I have been harassed for to long by them . They have talked bad about me to my employers. I got recording .
Oh my gosh, this video is so for me.
North Dakota is full of them! That is WHY WE MOVE!!!
Am a Kenyan..got into freelancing..so I just stay in the house and make money...my girlfriend is in the corporate..in a very good position...so some people who believe they 'deserve & should own her' don't know why she keeps hanging around with me...am the guy who is always in a t-shirt, big hair...so they think being in a suit is the real deal to entice women...so am really pissed, my girlfriend is uncomfortable as well..everyone always watching when we hang out...we live in a small town and am scared/uncomfortable at times...give me advise guys ...I feel intruded
What could I say to a guy who asks me in the supermarket "are you a member of our non profit automobile car club"? I dont even want to answer with "no" or "yes", I dont want to give any information to anyone. Its hard to answer relativly polite in German, its easier in English.
Yes she is right.
I have a cousin by marriage (we're not blood related) and one time he asked what my Tcap scores were when I was 9 (I didn't answer him cus I myself didn't know, my mother hid that from me) and another time when I was 19 (we are 3 years apart btw), he asked me what I got on my Psat test (I've never took the Psat cus I'm bad at math), I just don't understand why he seems to be so obsessed with test scores for? (maybe it's his way of measuring his self worth?, or he's narcissistic and wants to show off that he has done better than me?, he has ADHD btw but some people have both NPD and ADHD), has anyone else experienced something like this before?
I used to consider him a friend then an acquaintance but at this point I might as well consider him a stranger
I would never ask someone to look after my kids unless i paid for it
Managers do this to size you up
I lost my temper with two Intrusive people hopefully me being curt will make them back off,I tried being nice ,I tried being kind ,I tried being patient but it just made matters worse.
My beautiful beautiful you are breath of fresh air ⭐⭐❤❤❤🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🧠💯🥇 God bless you and your family and friends
Our government is a perfect example .
I'm going to be really imature and be determined to stay mad at this person... for a stupid reason
FYI... There's a reason your right to openly discuss your wages is a right, and is wrtiien into law. Your employers know you have this right. Hundreds of people have fought and died for your right to do so; it's precisely what labor day and May day are all about. It's one of the first rules in the employees bill of rights.
I absolutly can't stand when people smugly and pretensiously defend such atrocious acts of selfishness. Doing so minnimizes the importance of having rights in the first place. You're taking a defensive posture, but you're not being attacked. Emphasizing such a position just subtly disenfranchises hard working people by limiting their ability to assert themselves economically.
Aside from that this was a great segment on a subject that could use more discussion. I've found it informative and very relatable.
Nosey people! Intrusive is a kind jester!