How Do I Deal With Bipolar Disorder? Parents Who Cause Trauma | Psychotherapy Crash Course
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- čas přidán 15. 06. 2024
- #trauma #bipolardisorder #withme
#family #parents
Bipolar spectrum disorder is a complicated diagnosis that requires close inspection of the symptoms, the behaviors, the mood changes, and the patterns. A clinically-minded individual may see most signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder but families often see more.
Children (young or adult) who has a parent with bipolar disorder may find themselves feeling traumatized by a variety of the parent's behaviors. The mood fluctuations in and of themselves can be traumatizing if severe and untreated.
Research suggests that children growing up with parents on the bipolar spectrum may find life complicated, confusing, and difficult. Children who have parents with bipolar spectrum disorder face a ton of psychosocial difficulties that makes adult life more difficult for them.
In this video, I discuss bipolar spectrum disorder from a trauma-informed perspective. I discuss the signs and symptoms of parents who have moderate to severe symptoms and have negatively impacted their adult children.
*Note: I did not discuss bipolar II in this video or hypomania. I will bring this up in a separate video on this topic.
Discussed in this video:
-Intro 0:00
-Topic review
-What is bipolar spectrum disorder 3:35
-Dimensional view of diagnoses 3:12
-How should I understand symptoms/behaviors 3:51
-Substance abuse and mania 9:05
-Depression & bipolar 11:34
-Specific and unusual behaviors you may notice 13:12
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I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally certified mental health therapist, with over 12 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.
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Did you grow up with a parent who has bipolar disorder?
No, but another great video with a great explanation as always! Thanks Tamara!
Yes, I did! I recognize many of the traits
My mother had bipolar disorder. She is no longer alive. Though her illness still affects me today. Looking for strategies to overcome the affects.
Yes, and it was extremely traumatic. I actually cannot interact with her due to all that has happened. I hope most other folks have a better relationship with their parent than I did. :(
My mother has bipolar but she reverts to weed to make herself feel better
Oh my gosh. This was my childhood. I pray for all children in these situations.
Omg! I'm watching your videos today. This is a great amount of information. It explains my life a bit more growing up. Wowza! How could any of the children come out normal? I realized I took a lot of my mother's behavior personally and that is what caused me deep pain. Just not really knowing what was going on and having parents struggling to survive it all was so difficult. Most of the time we were handling all of our own issues with very little help. Difficult for sure. So sad! I can feel for my parents, too, because they were not as bad as many, but it was still an unhealthy painful life to grow up in. Yikes! Thanks so much.
Thank you! And you're welcome!
It is really difficult to live with unhealthy parents, as you point out, even though they may not display symptoms that are severe. That can cause a lot of internal conflict.
You are my new favorite mental health channel! You present professionally but easy to understand. I also like how you videos aren't super long. Keep up the good work soon you will have a million subscribers I bet.
Thank you Ralf!! ☺🤓 To reach people is the goal and having a channel slowly build has given me the pleasure of meeting all of you individually, if that makes sense. Subscribers, then, are not just a number but people! It's great.
@@TherapistTamaraHill totally makes sense. Keep on keeping on!😁
I am so estatic that I have found you. My husband was diagnosed last year 2023 with it and he was in denial and still is, slightly caused by his parents. Which I think he did get this disorder from his father. I will definitely look at your other videos. Thank you
Thank you! And I'm glad to have you.
And bipolar disorder, if you don't already know, is highly genetic. So it doesn't surprise me if he did take after his father.
I am so happy that I found this channel! Thank you so much for your wisdom. I am hoping that with advice from others who have dealt with BP1 patients and parents can help me to not only deal with my BP1 mother who sees that she has a problem, says she is getting help, but never really seems to be getting better for a long enough period of time. She tends to more readily believe a misdiagnosis of ADHD, tell everyone that is the reason for her manic behavior, and stop taking proven medicine that helps to treat her for BP1. Almost like she would prefer to self-medicate, not by taking illicit drugs, but by saying she has other problems and getting treatment for those things instead of the actual problem. It can be so frustrating; not to mention dealing with all of her symptoms leaves me unable to even believe what is real with her and what isn't. Also, I have been diagnosed with Major Anxiety Disorder mainly from the trauma that a lifetime of dealing with this has caused me. I am currently on medicine for it and it helps so very much with the anxiety. However, I sometimes feel like it is a never ending cycle and I just want to learn how to handle things better during these cycles.
This is what I have been awaiting - thank you!
You're very welcome!
Amazing how much better I fell after this video. Your advice gives so much hope. Thank you.
You're welcome Beth! This is good to hear.
She calms me. These topics make me understand what I need to know
@@truth4utoda I agree. I appreciate the people who work hard to support me and they are very good. But there's so many clouded areas that I want to understand and they are important to my progress, and I maybe out of order saying this but I don't feel the authenticity and trust from those working with me but with Tamara, it's as clear and true as anything. I wish I was able to find a therapist in this country who was as Good as this lady.
I am glad I am able to connect on here as I have learned more than I could have hoped for.
18:55 yesssss she would go tell strangers that I was in a gang or she was I the army - seems realistic to outsiders but eventually you can’t “ support “ them and have to get the hell away from them
Spot on! So much of this is familiar! Thank you so much Tamara!
Glad it was helpful! You're welcome.
Thanks for the videos, 30 minutes of your videos a day lately helps calms me down, helped me realize my triggers and actions i some times do are wrong. Just hearing it from someone who knows what their talking about makes me realize Im going to fix it. My mom had it my childhood was bad I was homeless in group homes then finally prison at 15 for 4 years. Haven't been in trouble since then but so scarred its hard to trust or forgive my parents. Especially meeting people with a family, now me having a family i barely know how to love. Anyways not deleting it felt good writing that.
Hi Michael,
This is great to hear! And I'm really glad that you find peace in these videos. That's why I do them. :)
I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. That's trauma for sure. If only she got help would she have been able to meet your needs as a child. I'm hoping that someone may watch videos like this and it occur to them that they aren't just leading a life of their own but rather a life of a dependent child. It's good to know you haven't been in trouble but your mom should truly feel responsible for the pain you endured.
Best video I have even seen about bipolar,you described me so weirdly thanks you so much.
You're welcome and Thank you!
Hi Tamara! Amazing video!
Thanks so much! Glad this was helpful.
Tamara thank you for your informative video; it was very helpful.
I grew up with parents who showed love but used the whip often to discipline! My dad was a head strong person who often used threats to get something. So here I am with my 3 daughters, my middle daughter and youngest daughter has Bipolar mental illness. My youngest daughter practice self-care; surrounds herself with positive people and maintains a sense of authenticity; she created an LLC called PureSpark to help others who have Bipolar or Depression to know about self-care, holistic medicines and other therapy without meds. My middle daughter, diagnosed early in late 90's with Bipolar and has attempted suicide many times, off and on psych meds. Recently has been taking her meds and is manic for over 2 months. It's very hard setting boundaries with her. She refuse to get help; I called in the BEST Team and EMS to assess and admit her to the hospital, but she refuse and informed them that she knew her rights and will sue them if they tried to force her. Well she commit assult and battery in a hotel where she and one of her male friends were staying; they were arrested! Rather than the police officer requesting an assessment by the BEST Team, have her Sectioned and admitted to the hospital, they did nothing and she was released the next day to continue this behavior! I love my daughters, but she has called me every bad name in the world, she hates me and wants to move out (mind you she has no money on SSI Disability and the men she hangs out with are not up to any good thing but she brings different ones into the back yard, they are not allowed inside our home) So what am I to do, she won't clean her room...clothes are all over the floor, top of the bed along with books, cards and papers....none of which is of use! Please help me! I recently retired at age 70 and never thought I would be living like this! It's so sad but I am hurting because she won't get help!
Hi iv stumbled on this wonderful video because my mother has terrible bipolar, she developed it as soon as I was born and had severe episodes up until i was around 10 when my grandma died, she was well and on low does lithium for 20 years until 3 years ago and it's all started again she has been in and out of hospital since and she hasn't yet gone back to how she was, I feel like we have all lost her compleatly, myself my dad and my 3 children all greive for who she was even when she's 'well' her personality is compleatly different it's awful and so hard she's almost a shadow then an eruption of hurt and anger and selfishness aswell as telling lies and living out other people's trauma that she's heard about I'm just at a loss of what to do I can see it damaging my children as it has me !
Untreated Bipolar disorder traits (grandiosity, inhibition, impulsivity etc )in the parent also create cognitive dissonance in the child. For example, the parent who uses the child’s money for charity and rationalizes that others need it more, claims that God is pleased, and basks in the applause of the charity leave the child feeling confused, guilty and angry at their “godly” parent and the unknowing enabling recipient of the charity.
Great job
Please explain the treatment names the children will need to deal with the pain?
14:38 yeah refusing treatment makes everything a stressor - you graduating from college or having to pay bills or something that they made up in their rage
Being bipolar 2 since a young kid and trying a cocktail of drugs finally getting on 2 that kept me stable I was able to try something else. Since I was stable for over 3 years I talked to the doc who reluctantly helped me off my meds and sure enough after 3ish months I noticed the early signs of nervousness.
Long short I tried 5HTP supplement and it worked just as well and didn't make me feel bla. I now use 5HTP at the start of any emotion change. Been 3 years now off prescription meds for BP2 and I shocked and proved to my doc that it works who now agrees. Not saying to do this since you need to know yourself and do research since it also has some side effects but prescription drugs aren't the only option if you are at a good point in mood and position in life.
This is a great discussion Tamara! Thank you. My husband's mother has severe bipolar disorder.
I'm glad to hear this is helpful! And you're welcome.
Grew up with a mother who was bipolar 1. I’m 61. Still struggle with issues caused from living with this. It seems I create issues to allow the rollercoaster to continue.
I'm sorry Kurt. Sometimes we won't know exactly what it is that we do to trigger things. Life can be very difficult with someone who is untreated (or poorly treated) and suffering from bipolar disorder.
I grew up with a bipolar mother and now my have a bipolar partner. I’m angry with myself for letting this happen again. My childhood was hell.
I believe that my mom was bipolar and my narcissistic father too.
My husband and I just found out that my mother in law is bipolar. She was apparently diagnosed when my husband was young but he never knew about it... it’s been a lot to process..
It can be a lot to process Ashley. I'm sorry to hear this. A lot of people who are struggling with bipolar are also struggling with other things like personality disorders like borderline personality disorder. It's complicated indeed.
I know that you mainly work with Children, Adolescents, and Families, but what you discussed has given me some insight into myself even though I am a bipolar adult who unfortunately was a bipolar parent to a bipolar child. She was Dx at 13 and I was Dx at 38, so looking back I can see some of the things I put my daughter through. My biggest thing with her was that I was a short-patients parent, I was only 25 and on my own when I had her and I did not have the best parent role models so I know now that my inpatients broke her little heart so many times and it kills me to know I did that. I stayed more on the depressed side of bipolar while she was growing up so at least she didn't have to suffer through constant manic bouts. But now that I have watched this video I would like to ask can you do one geared towards adults in the future I feel that I can learn so much more. I also subscribed to your channel, which I never do, that is how much I enjoyed the video that I discovered you on.
Thank you.💖 Glad this was helpful. And welcome!
The life stressors you were under at 25 is reason enough to struggle. That's inevitable but thankfully you recognize it.
I will add more videos like this for sure, including your suggested topic.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you so very much. I look forward to watching more of your videos. I could write a book on the trauma I had in my life very early on, especially in my formative years, I am a deeply damaged individual who is trying every day to repair what is so broken in me. It is a miracle from God that I am still alive after so many of the things I have gone through in my life. Thank you again for your channel.
tysm my dad has bipolar disoder i have trauma to- so :( ty for this!
You're welcome. I'm sorry. Not an easy situation for sure.
Same
What about bipolar children that have abusive parents? Only asking cuz mine were.
My mom has bipolar and refuses to stop smoking weed. I keep telling her it’s not good for her condition but she ignores me.
My BP1 best friend blocked me after getting pissed off over the way I handled a situation. Why do they go through phases where they ghost loved ones? I was going to reach out after some time passes but I don't think its worth it anymore. He knows his diagnosis but is in denial and doesn't think he needs treatment.
I'm sorry Olivia. That's terrible. Because they "turn off and on" in their moods anything is likely to happen. The other scary part is that bipolar disorder can also be comorbid (or occur alongside) other diagnoses that can complicate bipolar disorder. Some individuals have both bipolar disorder and BPD which makes things 10 times worse.
Bipolar 2 is quite different than primary Bipolar or Bipolar I. Bipolar 2 however is often not properly differentiated when professionals speak about Bipolar. Generally speaking, on larger scale, it seems a bit unfair to those with Bipolar 2 that they are lumped together since symptoms can be quite different and usually much milder in Bipolar 2. It should probably be renamed at the very least.
Yeah being BP2 with family who are BP1 big difference. I often get super anxious and sad and nervous. Bp1 family often adds hand "prints" to walls talks about killing themselves/others and hyperventilate. BP1 is much more bam in everyone's face and more likely to need to be hospitalized, it also can be lots more happy times though. BP2 more depressed and low energy with more deep depression but not as BAM in everyone's face. Bad description but yeah there is a big difference
Hmph- it took me 3 different doctors and 4 bouts of medication to actually accept I have a mental health condition that needs treatment, therapy and self therapy. My life has been much more positive along with enhanced lifestyle choices.
Hi miss can you please tell where you clinic is and I live in India I am struggling so much I think my mom has mommy dearest disposition
Can somebody direct me to a video she did on how to deal with a parent who has this kind of behaviour
In some cases they can be extremely high achievers on the job.
How can a high functioningy bpd - or bp perform above average on a job and not explode at teammates or get fired but at the same time emotionally and sometimes physically destroy their significant other?
Seems like they are capable of picking and choosing when to be a complete, temperamental A- hole.
I think they know what they are doing its just easier to abuse a partner behind closed doors.
This is my father
I am 30, I brought groceries to my mom who is Covid positive. My dad tried to fight me and threw eggs at my car. I don’t know where to go from here, boundaries are not working. I don’t know what to do but not come around.
I'm sorry. I would distance myself a bit. I would also put up boundaries by not tolerating the aggression. Psychotherapy may be helpful in helping you build resilience and tolerance.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you so much. ❤️
You're welcome! Wishing you the best.
I have no inner peace. I let bad advice about my dog Lilly. I have blurry boundaries!
Do you think its irresponsible to have child with a BPD partner?
That's a great question but one that is also very complicated. It truly depends on the intensity of the illness and how much the illness impacts the person's life. For example, you may was to question having a child -- who will have the potential for the same genetic codes --- with someone who may also have sociopath tendencies and is very impulsive, angry, and abusive. Someone who has bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder and is getting help, has great personal insight, is trying to be better and do better, and is held accountable may be a wonderful person to have a child with. It all depends.
I have bipolar 1 with psychotic traits.
I'm sorry. That's really tough if not treated well.
You discuss worse case scenarios a lot
Very true. That's the purpose of the channel.
Or when she’s manic and decided that you are the enemy and trying to kill her and lots of religious bullying and mad bc you won’t go along with the delusion