Woman Says She Had To Come Out Of Retirement To Support 33-Year-Old Son
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- čas přidán 6. 10. 2020
- Stacy says her son, Ben, lives in her spare bedroom, and she claims he doesn’t pay rent or utilities, and spends hours on his cell phone - but she still pays for his food and cars.
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“Ben knows exactly how to spin me around and get money from me,” Stacy says, adding that she has spent over $100,000 on the 33-year-old - and has had to come out of retirement. “I’m tired. I’m really depressed. I feel like I’ve hit the wall - but, as Ben’s mother, I cannot give up on him.”
WATCH: Woman Says Mom Needs To ‘Cut The Cord’ With Her 33-Year-Old Son
Why does Stacy say she continues to support Ben? Hear part of her conversation with Dr. Phil in the video above.
On Wednesday, hear from Ben. Does he enjoy living with his mom? Check here to see where you can watch.
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Look I’m well aware this is extremely deterrent from the real issue but MY GOD THIS FAMILY HAS GORGEOUS SMILES
So true they are truly a good looking family
I kept noticing how pretty the mom is, and she’s got me by about twenty years.
Say what you want about Ben, but he's gotta great head of hair
All three of the kids are absolutely beautiful. The mom looks exhausted, but I bet she was a stunner in her younger/happier years.
I believe the word is divergent. But hey, I like yours just as much.
The way she said "excuse me" to her daughter but she won't put her foot down when it comes to her son at all.
I was appalled.
Most mothers are.
Stephanie Balchan most mothers are....?
Ikr!! I was appalled
I never understood why parents have preferences for their children I felt the same way when my kids were both born 1 boy and 1 girl how can you love one child more than the other? Their both yours treat them equally.
"Don't throw your cigarettes down..."
As there's a gas can about 12 inches away.
Oh my gosh mom, such a kind loving soul. She just loves him deeply but he's taking advantage of her good heart. Let him go sweetie.
Living with Family isnt the issue, its him acting like a 17 year old straight out of JUVI
Living with mommy has allowed him not to be an adult. He could live with roommates. People stay home with their parents because it's easy. Not because they have to.
For real it’s so gross
If you are living responsibly at your parents for a short term, adult goal (save up for house, get job in bad economy, etc.) most people are fine with that. But obviously trying to be perpetually 13 is a problem.
gardener - well, why elect to live with strangers when you could live with family? Again I think living at home has nothing to do with being responsible. He could pay rent, his mom could set boundaries, not do his laundry or cooking, he could contribute to the household in some ways that are pre-set. Many responsible and productive adults live at home /in the family home. The key difference is how he is acting. He is behaving like a 13 year old .
@@katiem4539 Because when you live with your parents you will never be fully adult, fully autonomous. When you have your own place, pay your own bills, then you become an adult.
Ben needs therapy not a nanny.
Kick him out. He knows what he is doing. Even my brother with mental issues isn't that lazy.
If only Stacy put her foot down when Ben was still a teenager, she wouldn't be in this situation.
My son had similar experiences. Adhd. Every type of abuse, he's 17 and I just found out 6m ago about some abuses. While, yes, he has low self-esteem, you would never know any of it now. He's worked hard. So have we as a family. Great student, son, and productive human being. He doesn't make excuses nor do I for him (or his step-father). She has to let him hold himself accountable. Also, hold him accountable herself. I do feel bad for mom being manipulated but then again she has to take the steps to let go a bit. Let him pick himself up and get himself out of the situations he gets into.
Agreed, except that the huge issue is that the situations he got into he didn’t put himself into, *she* put him into it. Between the abusive father who she couldn’t even stand up to through the phone years later, and the various boarding schools that abused him she enrolled him in without researching back to back, she’s culpable. I get her guilt. But she is coddling him, and the things she’s doing are out of pity and a need to rectify things for herself, not to help him get better and move past those traumas.
His mother is a complete enabler and totally responsible for her son's behaviour .
I prepared my children for adulthood in their teens. How to pay bills, maintaining good credit, cleaning house, doing laundry and cooking for themselves. I told them the day they graduate HS they had better have a plan to get out. They had 6 months from the day of graduation to get it together or they'd get the boot. They all left before they reached 18. College, Military and Job Corp.
My mom would of thrown me out to be honest lol and she’s a loving mother also. 👀
Same mine would have locked the doors
Exactly Melissa Marie. I had two options to live at home after 18 be in university/college and working at least part time, or working full time AND pay rent. Well there was a third option, move out and deal with life.
Jesus christ this is no reason for a house to look like this, disgusting.
Was that cat food in the bathroom? I hope they don't have pets. Poor thing.
I’m pretty sure that’s his bathroom, not reflective of the whole house. The rest of the house looks clean. If that’s cat food though yeah that’s pretty sad and gross.
I won't even have my cat's litter tray in the bathroom
If he was my son don't have a job , not paying me rent , not helping around the house I'm putting him out .
Codependency is just as difficult as it is for the one who is dependent on them.
Parenting out of guilt
These enabling fools. Who does this? Just throw him out. Let him figure it out. Just nonsense. It’s infuriating.
I lived with my nan because I came out of a bad relationship, but I don't sit on my butt all darn day doing F all. As she is disabled I became her defacto carer and when covid happened I made sure that she had all her needs and treatments applied. Whilst at the same time simultaneously finishing of my masters and looking for work.
Whilst living with family is not a bad thing, especially in my country where house prices and rent are outrageous it is indeed bad to constantly beg for money and crashing cars and acting like a child. Also I was getting very little via unemployment but I made sure that a good chunk of that went to my nan for housing costs or to treat her to things like takeout.
Her children are beautiful tho! Shame this guy is just spoiled!
She raised him, likely parented out of guilt, and enabled him. They both need some help.
We as mothers train, raise, and show our children how to treat us!!! She hasn't commanded that respect and gives him whatever he wants no matter how he acts so why would be act any different??!!! She allows it to happen with no consequences..so as long as she continues to reward him for doing nothing he will continue to do this!!! She oblivious to it...just sad!!!
He is cute. He needs to get an Onlyfans account and start making money to help his poor mom out. Sweet old lady.
Dont reward bad behaviour. He need to pay his mom himself!
YES! I would subscribe
Old lady?
Emily Wickler My friend makes 5,000 a month through only fans. I’d say that’s a great job lmao.
No, just no
Woman, you are doing no one any favors here by enabling him & feeding into codependency.
A rough childhood sucks & sure you have to work on extra things but it's not an excuse for this.
My closest brother is the foreman at a concrete company & has been for at least 5 years now if not longer. Working for the same company around 10 years. He has his own home, multiple vehicles, a motorcycle, a girlfriend, pets & his first son this year.
I couldn't be any more proud of him than I am, especially knowing what he went through to get there plus sticking to it. Our oldest brother gave him an opportunity but he took it & ran with it. It has to be on both sides. Our older brother didn't mess around though. I just took a pic the other day of his house rules bc mom happened to find a copy. Wake up at 6 or 7, physically go out & apply to jobs (I know it's not the same right now with covid) and had to have a minimum amount turned in each day. Then the call backs & whatnot. It's very strict but you know what? My brother went from the streets & bad addiction to where he is now.
I believe in this family. They can do it but only if they want to. Mom needs to practice tough love imho.
Your family had luck then. Most people don't.
@@MiyukiZero It wasn't luck. It was very hard work, determination, a fierce desire for it & a support system with an opportunity. Do not assume things like that, you don't know near enough to say that.
Samantha is absolutely gorgeous! 😍
Both the sisters are drop dead BEAUTIFUL. Like prettier than most actresses out there... Oh yeah, n more on topic, the brother is a blight to society. lol
Then stop paying for his icky cigarettes! Unbelievable!
She needs let him be homeless and mom needs her life and money back
IMAGINE being 33 and living like this......... such a waste of life. The AUDACITY.
katie ccc It happens, and just gets sadder over time. A neighbor close to my parents old house, now elderly, have a son in his 50s who has nothing to show for it, still lives in the same room and thinks his “job” is “caring for his parents,” despite it being obvious to most he doesn’t. As far as I can tell, the son doesn’t have any serious mental or physical illness, but was a big pot smoker since high school.
there's a very simple sulation, if mom pays for his phone, cancel his phone, if mom pays for the tv in his room get rid of it. If he has a non working phone and no tv, tell he will have to work around the house cause he has nothing to distract him. + Cigarette are coast money who pays for them. If mom does stop buying them for him. Treat him like a kid untill he stats acting like an adult.
Wow, the fact he literally just let her work for him... She should be relaxing but in stead she has to work for a son who probably hasn’t worked a day in his life.
He won't have to do chores at the homeless shelter.
This is hard for me to watch. I've lost nearly everything due to COVID: My job and soon my home. This guy living off of his Mum makes me want to puke. Shame.
I married to a man like this who has a mother like this. It's not a marriage. He's married to his mom or anyone who will take him in for him to get by. I'm moving on after denial (yrs of stunning disbelief). My heart goes out to anyone in this situation.
Why would he do anything his mum asks, she never follows through with anything she says.
Poor dogs food bowls in the bathroom :(
So her way of helping her son is to allow him to stay at home all day drinking, toking pot and chain smoking cigarettes. The guy has no job, no credit and the longer he stays like this, the harder it will be for him to get a job and support himself.
Be careful! So did Lisa Guy! And everyone knows what Joel Guy did to her when she no longer wanted to support her adult son.
I only watched the clip until Dr. Phil came on..didn't need to watch more. It's very simple..we as mom's want to protect our children, especially mom's with sons..bottom line, you HAVE to kick him out and let him fend for himself. He will become a man that way. You don't need professional help for that, just a prayer to God to help you stay calm while he finds himself.
If you can’t kick him out then help guide him too find a place. Don’t keep enabling him
what do you expect lady since you do everything for him why would he do anything😒😒😒
They used to do drugs together...now she feels the guilt.
This mom loves his son but come on mom... 👏🏽👏🏽
All I will add is:
None of us will change
Unless we are pushed out of our comfort zone
We as mums/dads need to do the Unexpected
So our actions are not predictable
I created a Rod for my own back in a similar but no way near as challenging way.
Mums think they are stuck
They have to
Must
No choice
She just accepted her part
But now is making excuses for both
This person should do some kind of work everyday. No one will take care of you after your mother. God Bless You 😎
mom needs to stop making excuses for him. people have gone through severely traumatic things and have came out the other side 10x better than before so him going “through things” is not valid to act like that.
Dr. Phil needs a new show topic.
this guy wouldn't be able to last 3 seconds in an indian household
Treat your daughter with respect she is fighting for you. Answer to question lots of people withstand terrible things in their lives. Mom you need to get your s--t together to.
Ben is just about the most immature man I think I ever saw!
We all got Ben in our families
My God! where does she work?
I would be so mad if I were those sisters 😂 like where’s my thousands if you’re just handing it out to your lazy kid then the well behaved ones should get some cash too
He needs therapy and medication. It does help! It's not your fault!
Mom of the year
He probably skeed af and killed all his brain cells with allat ganja lol
Stop making excuses woman. He is a man who is trying to blame his past ... he has choices now. He is choosing to play the little boy card - because you want to play the Mommy card.
I would kick my kids to the curb for still acting like this at 18. They know when 20 comes if they aren't doing what they need to do then they get a back pack and hit the road.
Kind of reminds me of how messy my brothers are
Question. Did you raise him?
Alcohol has really aged him. He looks 45 at least.
At 33 I will be travelling the world and being a graphic designer.
33 Years old and not helping your mom 🙄
my daughter has disabilities also she takes advantage also bc she can. society expects me to do it all now i have a disability. wanted to change this long ago, tried moved her two states away taken beatens for her she laughs bc therapist said ' i was her entertainment. lost all my fam' including my new grands
if i kick her out she running away all the time i would be arrested bc she the vunerable person
Oh my his Mom is Steven Tyler’s sister lol
You do not have to give up on him because he already gave up on himself
Is it me or do the mother sound drunk while she is in the studio..she sounds different in the clips..
Lol atleast he's going outside
Poor 🐈 cat. Sad.
47th Woohoo
If yall wanna retire, raise your sons & daughters better.. So yall dont end up in this situation.
Join the army Ben it ain’t too late
You both need help. Know way would I come out of retirement. Help is not doing everything for them.
Spoiling the son at 33?wtf
Take responsibility for what you and your husband did to your son - makutu on both of you
Rosanna Arquette has not aged well.
Is it hard either he does his work n lives there or doesn’t and ends up homeless make it easy
He only does it because she allows it 🤷♀️
That is a fine lady that needs to meet me in las Vegas Nevada around catholic charities
This family is the typical dysfunctional family on Dr.Phil but WOW those sisters are beautiful!!!
My parents got me and my kids and girl a house when I was 16😂😂Been on my own ever since
You wouldn't if there was no cash for a house.
Wait kids? As in multiple? At 16?
The woman in white is stunning.
If so, who's fault is it?
Breaking news: Son spends time in room or outside. Film at 11
190th
First
Sixth😡
RL M you ain't sixth
@@isnx I was then I was fiftieth!😂
Definition of PARENTING FROM GUILT