Cliques Are For Insecure People
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- čas přidán 29. 08. 2024
- We all will deal with cliques (a group of people who reject others from belonging, or feeling significant) at different points in our lives. I thought that after high school this would be a thing of the past. I was so wrong. What makes it even worse is that this problem exists in the church which is a shame. In this video I had the opportunity to expose the real reason why people create cliques, and how to avoid
being caught in the trap.
“Cliques Are For Insecure People” • Cliques Are For Insecu...
Outgrow the clique! Widen your range of influence by avoiding them, and develop relationships with everyone you work with on your own terms. You do not want to be lumped into a group. Get your own life, rise above the BS, and quit worrying about the silly judgements of people, who are too insecure to have their own independent thoughts/voice.
This is so dead on correct. I am polite and possibly cliquey enough at work to get by, but will never waste time going out for drinks after work. I have irreplaceable lifelong friends I am thankful for.
Amen! Keep up the good work!
But my point is still you have a clique. However that’s good you aren’t exclusionary at work
I don’t like cliques either. I’m an outsider, I’ve attempted to fit in. I’m 40 now, cliques can stick it.
I hate cliques. I am an outsider pretty much wherever I go. And I have noticed a lot of insecurities inside of the cliques that I have had to deal with. With me it is the way that I look. I have a hard look about me and it seems like no matter how much I smile around people I still get the same negative reactions. I am also sort of a loner and quiet. There is nothing wrong with being either of those things. People especially those who are in those cliques act like Ike I am some sort of axe murderer or some b.s. There really is nothing wrong with me mentally though. If they would just take the time to get to know me before passing judgment they would find out that I'm actually not a bad person at all like they think that I am. I've also realized that they aren't good people not as good as they think that they are. They definitely aren't better than someone who minds their own business and doesn't hurt anybody. Good people don't make a practice of putting others down for their own amusement, they don't spread lies about and rumors about others, or try to alienate others for minor differences, they don't harass others, or look down their noses at them and think they are better than others either. Only malicious, callous, mean spirited, vicious evil people do that. They aren't much better than psychopaths or sociopaths that take pleasure in other people's misfortunes or misery.
I completely understand where you're coming from... I was like that for a long time as well. Quite, reserved, isolated at first. I dealt with the same reactions from people as well. As for me (not saying this is true for you) it was better for me in the long run to grow out of that stage without losing my identity in the process. It took a lot of practice. I had trouble starting conversations with people that I didn't know or if I was in a room where it seemed like every other person in the room was talking someone. I was taught to always remember FORD.. you can connect with ANYONE by remembering FORD! Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams. If you don't know what to say when introducing yourself asking them about 1 or all 4 of those topics will strike a passion in anyone.. I have used it for years.
@@The-Dividing-Line so you're basically saying the answer is to conform and become part of the clique?
@@mysty0 Of course not. I was only sharing with LoneWolf what has worked for me. While I am not for cliques, I am for developing strong communication skills. That way when we are in crowds we can meet people in a healthy way without compromising who we are, or what we stand for.
Likewise. If I see a group of adults traveling together, I know not to eff with them. They're sheltered and cannot face head on conflicts.
So true!
I had to slowly separate/ghost from a clique during COVID, because I noticed they talked shit about each other when one person was gone. But when everyone was together, they did all the fake smiles/fake love and pretended it was all good.
Behind the scenes, I knew how certain people really felt, so I learned to mind my business and just with the best for everyone. The problem with that is that they see you as a threat, because you don't co-sign their BS, or you have your own life outside of the clique.
It's best to keep a respectful distance when once you peep the BS, because even though they'll now see you as the enemy, you have your peace and freedom.
Yeah.. if they talk about others then bet they will talk about you as well. It’s best to have a small circle of people who have proven to be trustworthy.
This is real. It's not something I do, do I'm almost always odd men out. I'm fine with that because they usually talk about each other.
This is exactly what I've observed, as well. Then they fake smile each other when together, and pretend to be besties...............until someone leaves the room.
That's 100 percent correct.
Real talk. People will always try to find others who are on their level, but insecurities can and do create the worst sides of people.
Absolutely... even if someone isn't on my level (or me on theirs) they can still be a vital part of the conversation. Don't you agree?
That is the smartest most accurate depiction of that symptom of insecurity that I have EVER HEARD. Theres too much romanticism over the memory of being around a crude rejector, when in reality the clique could have been my "friends" but just werent because there were bad apple(s) among them that turned others away. And I feel so stupid thinking to tolerate them doing that when I was young, because I just felt honored not being the one rejected, but in reality I now know I only was considered that because I was just being the MOST PEOPLE pleasing to the insecure ones who wouldn't let people belong and that error will never occur again.
DeanRendar84 well said.. I think we’ve all had an apple out of that bag so to speak.
I'm an atheist, but absolutely loved this quote. Fantastic advise! Thank you!
I'm glad that it helped, and you are sure welcome! God bless you and may you come to know the plan that he has orchestrated for you before the foundations of the world. Jesus has a plan for you life and don't you ever forget it!
So true...well said! ❤
Church cliques are in every church sadly. This is why so many people like me leave churches because of this. Sadly I don’t have a church home anymore all because of these social cliques in churches today.
Spot on!!! Just came across this video
Preach brother
The church that I was going to, it was a little too clicky for me... Sadly, the only time I was contacted by anyone there, with the exception of four people, was when they needed a favor for a picnic, or luncheon, Etc.
In my experience with that congregation, was that they were very insular... if you are not from the area, you will never be let in... And the sad thing is, I live not even a mile down the road from that church!
Legacy?
Im an agnostic but I've never clapped so hard in my life 👏👏👏
The truth really does make us free... I know how you feel. When God spoke this to my heart it changed my life forever. I absolutely HATE dealing with cliques!
I don’t agree with all of this. I think people are just assholes & judgemental
Thank you! I needed to hear this!
It was a game changer for me.. one word from God can change our lives forever.
Man.....so right
For me the cliques are work usually involve the smokers. .. because I’m not a smoker these moments outside where the clique goes over tidbits of the day and bonds create the main clique at work and it’s worse if the boss smokes too
💯 ❤
Does this count as a work clique? Basically, I don't get along so well with my coworkers. They don't talk to me when I'm around, quiet. They don't invite me to their table when I eat alone. They're each other's friends/conversationalists. I don't *_think_* they mean to leave me out, let alone they're bad people. I don't think they're thinking of me at all during their fun. Of course, it might be _my_ fault. I have occasionally said unfiltered things before, so _perhaps_ I permanently made a bad first impression. I have ASD.
This one girl is a great example. Seems to like everyone else but me. Oh, the fun, the playful sarcasm/joking, sneaking up on a guy who likes horror films and exchanging in Australian accents. When she talks to _me,_ she's pretty serious and, AFAIC, subtly firm or annoyed. She chatted with another worker while driving us to a venue; when it was just us two later, nothing. Now, I can't remember _what_ I said the first few days/weeks we met, but _perhaps_ it was the time I mentioned facemasks to a teen worker. Asked him if his school had to wear them, told him how they ironically make my nose feel congested when they're supposed to be protecting us. Not that I was going into depth about the sensitive topic; I was brief and casual. The girl was basically all, "Okay, John, that's enough. Let's not talk about that." Yesterday, she sounded a bit annoyed about my collecting things for a room that already had them. Didn't exactly sound *casual and respectful.* I snapped, "Did I do something wrong?" She was like _"What?_ No. I was just..." yadda yadda, I have to look into the room to see what's already there...something like that. But you know, it's hard to tell whether her information is matter-of-factly or stern and "anti-John." We were very quiet around each other that morning, and of course, she chatted merrily with the others the night shift. Is this a work clique?
Yes, that is definitely a clique. The thing I find with many cliques is that they will notice your appearance. Even if you're not friends with anyone, if you dress well, appear well, smell well, look healthy, you will immediately notice how different they treat you because they're insecure people. Good thing is you don't have to socialize if you're there to work. Get the work done and get paid, bond with my family afterwards, improve my life that's what I'd do.
ATLANTA SHOULD WATCH THIS
Good video.
Thank you Andy... Glad you liked it
My church has cliques
I somewhat disagree I think humans just naturally gravitate towards someone with similar interests but I understand not allowing to join their group is harsh but I think humans are naturally categorizing others it’s a survival instinct. You would never see a wolf wanting to hangout with an eagle because there are conflicts of differences.
Does this count as a work clique? Basically, I don't get along so well with my coworkers. They don't talk to me when I'm around, quiet. They don't invite me to their table when I eat alone. They're each other's friends/conversationalists. I don't *_think_* they mean to leave me out, let alone they're bad people. I don't think they're thinking of me at all during their fun. Of course, it might be _my_ fault. I have occasionally said unfiltered things before, so _perhaps_ I permanently made a bad first impression. I have ASD.
This one girl is a great example. Seems to like everyone else but me. Oh, the fun, the playful sarcasm/joking, sneaking up on a guy who likes horror films and exchanging in Australian accents. When she talks to _me,_ she's pretty serious and, AFAIC, subtly firm or annoyed. She chatted with another worker while driving us to a venue; when it was just us two later, nothing. Now, I can't remember _what_ I said the first few days/weeks we met, but _perhaps_ it was the time I mentioned facemasks to a teen worker. Asked him if his school had to wear them, told him how they ironically make my nose feel congested when they're supposed to be protecting us. Not that I was going into depth about the sensitive topic; I was brief and casual. The girl was basically all, "Okay, John, that's enough. Let's not talk about that." Yesterday, she sounded a bit annoyed about my collecting things for a room that already had them. Didn't exactly sound *casual and respectful.* I snapped, "Did I do something wrong?" She was like _"What?_ No. I was just..." yadda yadda, I have to look into the room to see what's already there...something like that. But you know, it's hard to tell whether her information is matter-of-factly or stern and "anti-John." We were very quiet around each other that morning, and of course, she chatted merrily with the others the night shift. Is this a work clique?